Personal Trainers And The Perfectionism Trap: The High Performer Mindset Nobody Talks About

Success driven. Disciplined. Ambitious.
From the outside, high performers often look like they have it all together. But underneath the achievement can be a dangerous mindset: if I’m not winning, I’m nothing.

In this episode of Smittyville, Chris Smith breaks down the pressure many personal trainers, entrepreneurs, fitness leaders, and ambitious people quietly carry. The constant need to achieve. The fear of failure. The perfectionism trap. And why so many high performers tie their self worth to productivity, validation, and results.

The conversation explores burnout in the fitness industry, social media comparison, identity loss when progress stalls, and how personal trainers can build confidence and resilience without destroying themselves in the process.

If you’ve ever felt like your value disappears the second you stop performing, this episode is for you.

Topics include:
• Personal trainer burnout
• Perfectionism and performance pressure
• High performer mindset
• Fitness industry mental health
• Social media comparison
• Self worth and achievement
• Confidence for personal trainers
• Fear of failure
• Personal development for trainers
• Leadership and mindset in fitness

Smittyville is a podcast for personal trainers, fitness professionals, and leaders who want to build stronger careers, stronger businesses, and stronger lives.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Fear, false expectations that aren't real. That fear is what drives people to then manifest all these things in their head versus like no no no hold on hit the brakes, let's pause.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

You just rolled into the smartest small town of fitness. Welcome to Smithyville, where the trainers level up. Big raps, big vision. Yeah, we're building it up. Smartest, small town of fitness. Merry Christmas and Christy Bay. A podcast for personal trainers.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Let's get to work. Alright, Christy. What are we gonna talk about today? What's happening?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

We made up a term. Maybe we didn't. It probably exists. There's not a lot of original thought in the world, but toxic perfectionism.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Well, you made it up.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Uh I'm gonna take credit.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

I just went with the flow. Yeah, I think it stems off a conversation when I was, you know, meeting with the city council earlier in Smittyville.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

I was like, actual city council? No, mayor of Smittyville City Council.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

One of our city uh councillors, uh Nastasia and I were having a conversation and it was around just like performance and peak performance and just kind of the mindset of certain individuals and just you know, again, life's lived experience and where they're at, and just this desire to be great. And if I can't be great, then I'm a loser. And it's like, no, you're not a loser, right? So it's about uh like just level setting expectations and standards and habits and what that can permeate into a culture and making sure that it's healthy, right? Like that competition, that drive, that energy there is healthy without overdoing it to a place to again it becomes toxic with imperfections.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah, I think that and I don't even want to say this generation because I think anyone exposed to social media, I'm gonna full stop say that's the reason why we're in a climate that feels like that because you are constantly seeing everyone's highlight reels, you are constantly if you're posting a certain type of content, then you're getting fed from the algorithm more of that type of content, which is a constant reminder of who your competition is, and then you're comparing yourself. And we know that old saying comparison is the thief of joy, but I also think it's something that can inhibit people greatly from their potential. Because if you're striving to be the equal of something that you see out there, and then you're constantly putting yourself in a state of not good enough, then all you're gonna produce are results that are not good enough.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Yeah, I think there's an individual dynamic and then there's the team dynamic as well. Well, you you legitimately are in competition. So in like our business, and we got different leaders and managers, and we've seen this. Uh, and this is the conversation that Nastasi and I were having was there are certain leaders and managers where they're in competition and they're like some of our highest performers. But if they're not number one that month, they feel like they're a total loser or a failure. And it's like, did you do your best? Yes. Then that's enough. No, but I only did whatever, and it's like, doesn't matter. That's enough. Did you do your best? Yeah, but I could have, I should have, I would have, and now I know, and it's like, yeah, but you didn't. Right. And it's easy to have hindsight's always 2020, right? To look in the back and go, Well, gosh, now that I can really see what happened, now I would have done this differently. Sure. But you you did the best with the information that was available on any given day, any given month, or whatever it is, based on kind of how you're quote unquote judged or compensated or or whatever else it would be, right? So I think that's where some of it stems from. I mean, I I definitely think there is that piece of like every individual and the ecosystem and the disease of like some of the social media and the and the blue light, if you will, that sucks you in. And I think there is some of those individuals where they're kind of past that maybe and they're just in this high performance mode. But then again, it's just how do I know that I did my best and what do I do with that?

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Yeah, it's probably a common trait that you encounter amongst high performers or people that are wanting to be high achievers, because I think in order to strive to that, you have an inner engine, obviously, that's what motivates you in that pursuit. But you also can be your own harshest critic. So, how would you coach somebody then that has lofty goals and wanting to be that star team member as part of your team, but you notice perhaps that that's a mindset that is basically robbing them from their own potential?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah, I mean, I think we're we're just gonna try to level set, ground the conversation. And again, I'm often talking to young leaders around like IQ, EQ, and BQ. So that that one in particular falls more into uh an EQ and a BQ from a business intelligence standpoint. So sometimes I only tell people like, look, like do you how much do you love the industry? How long do you think you're gonna be here? Do you really gonna make a career of this? So if you're gonna do all that and let's just play that out. Let's say eventually you're gonna end up owning your own gym someday. You're 60 years old, you own your own gyms. How old are you getting now? And they're like, 24, 25, 26. So let's do the math. So 34 years. So, like, what what are we doing? Because a lot of stuff is rushing through in their own mind back to failure. Like, if you don't think you're gonna experience adversity and you know, critical situations and real challenges or whatever, like you're you're kidding yourself. If again your aspirations are to do really big things and have a lot of success. So it's I think a lot is just helped people understand like this is part of the journey, right? Versus again this idea of like, yeah, you failed. Because we can still revisit what did what do you think went wrong? Where do you think you could have been better? Let's talk about that. What advice can I give you? Here's some perspective, here's some things to change maybe in your daily behaviors or how you show up or how you interact with your team, how you manage up, how you manage down. Like there's a whole spectrum of things that I might give you advice on, right? Based on that dialogue that we're gonna have and the information of kind of uncovering what's taking place. But yeah, so there's a lot of moving pieces for sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

What did some of those follow-up conversations look like?

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yeah, I I think you want to listen and make sure that you're listening to be heard, which we've talked about, but I just think that listening is a skill that a lot of people don't practice anymore, right? Um and again, I think that's part of it is because I'm constantly like, I don't have to. I don't have to. Don't like the message next versus like what are they trying to say? What is the actual message here? And I'm not even saying from like a phone perspective, I'm talking conversationally to say like where is this coming from, right? I'm seeking to understand so I can help reshape or reframe what it is you might be experiencing. Because again, some people might be experiencing something through a really negative lens, as aka adversity. I had about a month. It's like, yeah, but what did you learn? And if this didn't happen, how do you think you would have learned that lesson? And when do you think you would have learned it? So I think a lot of it's just reframing and having the appropriate perspective versus yeah, it's it's I think it's easy to make things into negatives. But a lot of times it's understanding that maybe some of those things that feel negative could very well be a positive. Again, we're talking about 30-year career plus whatever else it's gonna be for your time and energy and effort. If it's gonna be your career, then yeah, you want to learn some lessons, right? You want to make some quote unquote mistakes that again aren't, you know, that are safe and you know, whatever else, right? Don't lie to your steel, folks. I mean, that's always my advice. People don't do that stuff. You do that, you're gonna get in trouble, you're gonna get fired. But yeah, just basic, like, you know, walking them through, stepping them back. And in some ways, you know, we've talked about counseling in different ways, it's just unpacking what they're feeling, helping sometimes even again real truthfully take irrational thoughts, making them rational. So let's like let's try to get out of the feelings a little bit. Let's talk about the facts and then understand like again what we can do different in the future.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Yeah, separating facts from feelings isn't always the easiest when people let their lens kaleidoscope shut on a negative perception because a lot of any situation can be reframed, but it's not always easy to see it if you're in the weeds.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Well, if you're in the weeds, but you can increase your IQ over time. So people think, oh, my IQ is my IQ. Now your IQ grows as you grow as a human and over time in your life, your EQ grows over time, your BQ, your business intelligence is gonna grow over time. So it's just again, it's about reps, it's about experience, and it's just not about like overstepping the conclusion of everything else. And a lot of times, again, these things are like they're just they're irrational, right? So fear, like back to anxiety that sometimes people feel, which drives some of this, right? False expectations that aren't real, right? Fear. That fear is what drives people to then manifest all these things in their head versus like, no, no, no, hold on, hit the brakes, let's pause. So just so I'm hearing you, what you said was this. And so, what's that based on? Like, who said that to you? Well, no one said that to me. So then why are you thinking that? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I had a gentleman, you know, the other day that thought he was gonna get fired. And I'm like, what why why do you think you get fired? And he's like, I just have all this anxiety about the job. And it's like, you've been doing it for six months, you're doing phenomenal, you're doing great. Like, wait a minute, I just I just I just don't want to disappoint you guys. I just don't want to let you down. It's like, brother, you're not letting us down, man. Like you're doing great. And so, yeah, it's a real thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

That inner narrative is like a locomotive train, right? And then it just compounds if it's allowed to run away.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Well, we're filming in May. May is May Mental Health Month as well. So a lot of this stuff actually even relates to the mental health angle, right? And so I think it's all important back to just like, yeah, my mental reps, my mindset, what am I reading, what am I ordering, what's my friend circle, which you know, all that stuff is important back to like the decisions you're making and how that impacts like your your performance, um, both personally and professionally, how you show up.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Let's head to the trainer circuit. Real questions, real situations. Chris shows up, listens, and mentors from experience.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

The more positive I am about things, the more I have a positive attitude, then the more positive outcomes I've had in my life. Every time I tend to get in a negative funk or I allow myself to think negative, and then if I really stop and pause, I'm like, what are the good things happening in my life right now? Usually not very much, because I'm in a negative mindset and I'm in a negative mood and I'm putting up negative energy into the universe. When I was a fitness manager early in my career, and I've all kind of always been this way, and she can tell you a story, she knows it's true. Like, people would get out of their car, they'd come into my club, and they would be like kind of I'd see them come to the door and they'd be like, like walking around. I'm like, what's wrong? Like, I'm just I'm having a day. I said, Well, go home. Like, what are you talking about? I said, I'm not about to let you ruin these people's day. You're supposed to be the best part of these people today. They're coming to here to see you today to get rid of all their stress. You have to assume that they've had a bad day. They had a shitty day at work, their kids didn't listen to them today, the teacher called because Johnny pushed down Susie or something else, or whatever else happened. They got in a fight with their spouse, their partner, I don't know, but I'm gonna assume they've already had a bad day. I don't need them showing up to see you and then having you be in frumpy grumpy, you know, beached on grief reef as Captain of the Bitterboat, right? You guys know that one? Captain of the Bitterboat, bitch, beached on grief reef. It's not from SpongeBob, by the way. There's like four chuckles. There's like four chuckles. Any anyway, versus like, what do I gotta be? I gotta be the person that, regardless of what's going on in my world, I gotta be at the front, right? Ready to go. Hey, how's it going? Nice to see you, Adam. Come on in, man. Ready to work out? You ready to train? Uh, I've had a hard day. No worries, Adam. Here to make you forget about all that. Let's get you changed up and let's get rocking, dude. Can't wait. You want meet you at the treadmill? Do you want me to be the stretching masks? Do you want to do phone rolling to start? What do you want to do today? I just whatever. Okay, well then I want to go through the normal warm-up that we've taught you. Okay, cool. Whatever that is, I want to be the better part of your day, if not the best part of your day. I can't bring in my negativity. I used to send trainers outside and say, go outside, come back in, try again. And they'd be like, sleep. I'm not kidding. Go outside, come back in and try again.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Before we wrap, we'll leave you with a smithism, a lesson Chris has picked up along the way.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

So this one comes from uh Og Mandino, uh author of several books, The Greatest Salesman in the World, which it really isn't a sales book, but it's one of the kind of go-to books that I definitely um recommend to people. Lots of different kind of narratives within the book. Won't go into a lot of detail there. But one of the things is one of the kind of chapters talks about I will treat this day as a new day. And so I think in this idea of toxic perfectionism that we're talking about, if you find yourself having a tough day, a bad spot, then just understand it's one day. And the sun's going to rise tomorrow, so let's treat this day as a new day.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

That's today's Smithism. Chris Smith is the mayor of Smithyville, and I'm Chrissy Van, your town correspondent. This is the smartest small town in fitness. We'll see you back here every other week.