6: Weird DMs, Bad Dates, & Loving Without Losing Yourself | London Paris

In this episode, London Paris joins the podcast for a raw, unfiltered conversation about her and her journey as a content creator. We discuss everything from

The broken state of modern dating and why she refuses to date in DC
The reality of building a brand online.
The terrifying reality of AI and digital privacy,  and much more!

Whether you’re navigating the dating scene in a new city or trying to survive today's hyper-opinionated internet culture, this episode is packed with relatable truths, hilarious stories, and reality checks you don't want to miss.

London Paris:

https://www.instagram.com/loovlondonp...

https://www.etsy.com/listing/44752765...

Chapter timestamps
00:00 – Intro
00:23 – The Weirdest DM She Ever Got
03:47 – The Rage Bait TikTok That Went Viral
05:00 – Why London Refuses to Date in DC
07:35 – Is the Dating Scene Really That Bad for Women?
09:15 – Why Nobody Wants to Settle Down Right Now
13:33 – We Thought We Would Be Married by 24
17:09 – Worst Dating Experiences
20:40 – Why AI Makes Privacy Scarier Than Ever
23:23 – Starting Her YouTube Journey
25:18 – How She Decides What Content to Make
32:08 – Why Long Form Content Feels Scary
34:00 – We Consume Too Many Opinions
38:55 – The AP Watch Debate and Trend Culture
43:12 – Why People Only Support You Up to a Certain Point
48:36 – Making Friends in a New City From Scratch
52:41 – Can Men and Women Really Just Be Friends?
53:52 – Her Time at Seton Hall and the Value of Education
55:50 – Why London Doesn't Want to Be A Full Time Creator
58:19 – Social Media Normalized Harassing People
1:00:25 – Her Book Loving Without Losing Yourself
1:03:15 – Most Girls Are Not Girls Girls
1:10:15 – Where to Find London Paris

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Started. Welcome to the pod.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Thank you. Glad I made it.

SPEAKER_06 0:04

Thank you for responding to my DM. I didn't think that you were gonna take me up on that.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

No, no, no. I feel like I try my best to jump at any opportunity. So it's like I saw that. I'm like, you know what? I'm trying to get into speaking a little bit more.

SPEAKER_06 0:16

This is your first pod appearance now.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 0:18

Really? Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna get

The Weirdest DM She Ever Got

SPEAKER_06 0:22

into it. We're free-flowing. We're gonna really get into it. So I know you make content on Instagram, TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 0:29

And I know people could be weird on the internet, especially for women. I want to know like what's the weirdest like DM or comment that you've gotten since you started.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Oh my God. I've gotten so many. Um, but the weirdest one, oh, it was this guy who like DM'd me. He was like, I don't through the screen, I can like feel, I can feel you, and we don't know each other, but your essence. I said, Oh no, this man is in my bushes. Like, I need to, I had to block him. I said, Oh, oh nah, like, what do you mean you can feel? I don't, nah, like, yeah, no, that was crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:02

Damn, yeah, folks, like, is this like a fake page, dummy? No, it was I I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I blocked him so quick that like I've like read the whole like I can feel your essence and your energy, whatever. And I was like, oh, you gotta get blocked. Like, yeah, you gotta go. So I don't even know if I I didn't do no investigation on this page.

SPEAKER_06 1:20

Sorry that happened to you, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

No, it's okay. I mean, it's not okay, but it's like you just gotta block. I feel like the internet is one of those things where you do not have to engage. Like, I feel like people are like constantly just on the internet being trolls. So it's like you can either engage with them or you can just block like this is my page.

SPEAKER_06 1:36

You don't like I can so like what advice would you give other creators that deal with either weirdness, hate, etc.?

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Ignore it or block and block them. I'm a I'm a serial blocker. Like you say what bot you're gone.

SPEAKER_06 1:50

Okay, but once you get to a certain point though, you can't block everybody unless you're gonna hire a team to block everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

I feel like it's well, you don't have to block everybody, but you can block the things that are like making you uncomfortable. Obviously, there's gonna be hate comments, like there's stuff that I see on a regular basis where it's like, oh, you might have a perception about this and you might have an opinion. Those type of things you just ignore because people are just engaging and actually boosts your content in a way. And then there's other things that like are if they're uncomfortable, if they're disrespectful, if when you look at it, it just kind of makes you feel the type of way. I say block those people, even if it takes you some time. Like I don't think anybody's that big to see to not see something that's gonna bother them and then be like, oh, I can just ignore it. No, if it's really bothering me, block them.

SPEAKER_06 2:29

Yeah, like like you said, like if it really bothering you for me, it's like I just I knew going into this that that's what comes with the territory. Yeah, I throw back to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I don't only because you should for the engagement. That's why But I just be feeling like so. I used to be like a like a troll, like, well, I grew up in I'm from Jersey, so it's like our culture is just to kind of go tip for tap. Yeah, like you know, but it's like these people are bots, like y'all don't even exist in real life. Like, what am I like you like you're literally you do not exist in real life? Like you have your profile picture is a bird, and you have you follow 16,000 people and you don't have one follower, like what do I really like getting amped up about? Like, or even trolling you, like you don't exist. And I mean, granted, like for engagement purposes, like I some I guess my version of trolling is like educating people that sound stupid. So it's like if you come under my comments and you're just saying something ignorant, like I'm gonna say something like very sarcastic, like, oh, this was a very interesting take. Actually, if you thought about it in this way, like so it looks like I'm educating you, but like I and I am, but I'm actually kind of making you feel kind of stupid because you came in here being ignorant and then you left with some sort of like education. So that that's kind of how I like troll back a little bit. It's like I'm

The Rage Bait TikTok That Went Viral

SPEAKER_00 3:46

actually educating y'all in the comments for real.

SPEAKER_06 3:47

Speaking of trolling, the reason why like how I found you is because I think I found you on TikTok and I saw your uh your video. I think it was about a story time about some guy that was spitting game or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:59

And I ain't gonna lie, when you got to the very end, you was like, still didn't give him my number. I was like, oh no. I ran to the comments.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, the comments have been they've been chewing, they've been chewing me up. But it's like it's like people are mad because it's their ego. You're not mad. No, no. Actually, you're mad because of your ego, and it's like, oh, like she probably wouldn't have given me her number either if I was him. And it's like, that's what you feel, like that's the anger you feel. Like, because what I said wasn't crazy. I was just saying that I was in a store, had a bunch of stuff in my hands. I'm not like said, oh, like I'm gonna be the solution to your problem. Oh, that's another thing. People think it's a made-up story. That's another thing, anyway. Like, I'll be the solution to your problem, and then handed me something else to carry. In my opinion, that didn't really solve anything because you gave me something else. Like, I'm already like this, and now you like, here you go. So now I'm like this, like, okay, thank you. And then you're like, Oh, can I get your number? And I'm like, brother, let's just thank you though, appreciate the box. And he walked away, and it was cool. But

Why London Refuses to Date in DC

SPEAKER_00 4:59

rage bait.

SPEAKER_06 5:00

Definitely rage bait. So I was going through your content, I saw a lot of your hot takes. Yeah. And I saw that you said that you are not dating in C C and I want to know why.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Ooh, that's a loaded question. Um I made a video one day about how I felt like DC was like college for adults. And the way I look at it, it's like you got your like popular kids, you got your like, you know, arts, like literally, there's something for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Um, but within that same like thought process, like I feel like even the way that dating and the scene looks, it really kind of looks like college. Like everybody's kind of like intertwined in some way, everybody's kind of like sleeping around in some way, you know. So I feel like for me, like dating is very intentional. Like, I try to go into spaces like very like purposeful and intentional. And so I just have not seen anybody that's serious enough to be like, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:58

Sound like it.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yeah, no, and then it's like when you take some time to really like learn how everything's connected, it's just like, oh, this is messy. Like, I don't got time. I don't want my name involved in any mess. Like, I'm so private about my business, so it's like, my name involved in some mess. Uh-uh. I can't. This ain't gonna work.

SPEAKER_06 6:15

Yeah, at least tried, and or did you like try and had a bad experience?

SPEAKER_00 6:18

No, I didn't try. I mean, I guess that's the problem. Like, you don't really know till you try. I've seen enough though. Like, I like I didn't need to be in the field to like see what was having, like, yeah, that was see what's happening outside in the field.

SPEAKER_06 6:31

Yeah, I saw I saw that uh what you said about DC being college. I'm like, bro, don't smell it really like it. I just stopped and think about that one for a little minute because I'm like, you know, it kind of is. It really is. I I don't know. I think at least for me, it feels like a little bit more like an extension of college because I went to Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_06 6:52

So it's like so your people are here, like yeah, like my peoples is here, my frat right there. Like it's like, you know what I mean? So I I could I could feel that.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Yeah. No, and I feel like the thing is, it's like, it's nothing wrong. Like, I think that's a testament to the fact that like we're basically, you know, adults, like people with money. So like we went to school, got out of college, got a good job, and now we're like, it's like basically being in college, but with money now. So like that's kind of how I look at it. Like everybody is outside, enjoying themselves, being able to like treat themselves to the lifestyle that they want to live. But there's just like so much accessibility that there's sometimes that like that college feel to the city a

Is the Dating Scene Really That Bad for Women?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 7:35

Okay. So I've been having this conversation recently, probably the past like week or so, doing my own I th what'd you call it? I think you called it uh you posted something on your story about field research. Yeah, I'm doing my own field research.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 7:47

So, like, is the dating scene like for women, is it really that bad? Is it really that hard? Yes, really, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

There's more women in DC than there are men.

SPEAKER_06 7:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

So, and I will say, like, and I don't know if this is controversial, hot take, whatever you call it, but like men do control the dating scene. So, like when men want to get like serious or when they want to, whatever, it's like if whoever is around and in their vicinity, like that's a person that they'll probably, you know, align on and date. Outside of that, like for the most part, because you know, I not some women might do it, for the most part, like women aren't getting on their knee to like ask somebody to marry them, like, or you know, hey, like, let's be committed. Can you be my boyfriend? Like, it's really like men ushering that. So because there's more women in the city than men, I feel like sometimes like there's like um what we think about like hinge, like it's like life, like dating becomes like hinge, where it's like, oh, this option and this option, this option, and this option, this option. So it doesn't really give people incentive. And then also you think about like the demographic of people being paid, you know, people having like higher status, whatever, whatever, it's like, oh well, like I really can just date on my own time and on my own terms. Um, and also within like I have a plethora of hinge options to choose from. So if I don't want, you know, if you're not going to do or go for whatever I'm going for, it's 16 other girls who will. So I think that's what kind of not just in DC, but I think like in general, that's what's like making

Why Nobody Wants to Settle Down Right Now

SPEAKER_00 9:14

dating a lot harder.

SPEAKER_06 9:15

Okay. And so I I think for me, it's like, is it really that hard to find a man that actually wants to settle down? Like, is it is it really that hard? Like you've never met a single man.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

No, I mean, I've been in a relationship, like I've had boyfriends, so obviously, yeah, you can. N DC, I just feel like like life too lit. Like people are really having people are having fun, like people are having fun, like people are not like they're outside, and it's like we're not old, like, yeah, we're getting up there, but we're not old. So like people are literally just you're what 28? 27.

SPEAKER_06 9:51

Oh, 27.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like people are just like enjoying their lives. And I think once, you know, things start to kind of slow down, sort of, all right. Now folks are gonna start feeling a little bit different. But I just think right now people are like at their prime and expanding their prime. So it's like from that, it's it's really hard to find somebody right now and be like, yeah, I'm ready to move to the birds and get about the city and get a dog and all.

SPEAKER_06 10:20

I was telling myself, I damn near gonna cry when I move out of DC. No, because it's hard, it's hard, it's hard, especially moving out of DC and settling down at the same time. Oh, yeah, no. No, no, no, no. Here you are. From my experience, I'm not necessarily saying that I missed her. Oh my goodness, I'm out here looking for a girlfriend, but I have yet to meet a woman who actually told me, like, oh, I genuinely like am looking for like a boyfriend so that I can settle down, have a family soon. Like, this is what I want, and this is a priority. Yeah, soon. This is a good thing. Yeah, like ASAP. Yeah, like a lot of it is like, you know, if it happens, it happens. And like if it don't happen, it don't really be like, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

I guess I'm with also you feel like also now I'm switching the questions back, but like, so do you feel like I'm like, so then do you feel like the dating scene is the way it is because there aren't like you're not interacting with women who seem to be serious, or do you feel like both parties just seem to be a little unserious? So it's just kind of like everybody just doing their own thing.

SPEAKER_06 11:25

I'll be completely honest. Yeah, I have not really I thought about this uh a while ago. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:32

So I have a journal, right? Okay, and I've written in my journal, I started it in uh, what was it? It was October 14th, 2018. Now I write in it every day. To this day, I still write in it every day. And I think maybe a couple years back, maybe two, three, I was like trying to like be serious. I don't know, something happened and I was like, you know what? I to be fair, I didn't really I don't think I really gave it my like did I really be like, well, I said like let me be as intentional as possible. No, but it's like oh no. So I really don't put myself in positions to really find women that are like super intentional, but like all the people that all the women I have talked to, it's not it's not like it was like jokes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:13

It's not when I mean talk to, I don't mean just like I mean like having a conversation like me and you.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:18

It's like, oh, if it happened, it happened, if it don't, it don't.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, yeah, fair. So I see yeah, so it basically it's a combination of of both parties being a little on serious, being on serious, and that's why I avoid it, period. Cause like I think for so I actually moved to DC and I was in a relationship long distance. And then that's not terrible. No, I mean it's not terrible, but it's like not ideal, I'll say. And so when we broke up last June, that was kind of like me integrating into the city like as a single person. But even then I was just like, nah, I'm cool. So I don't know, we gotta we got a summer coming up, so we'll see.

SPEAKER_06 13:01

Yeah, summertime, summertime's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Yeah, I said it's too late now. Like everybody gotta start by September. September. You if if you ain't cut by now, like September, everybody gonna start reevaluating what they got going on.

SPEAKER_06 13:15

Speaking of packing it up, I remember I had a conversation with my homegirls. I thought man. So I'm 28. I think we were how old was we? We was 24. We used it 24 or 25. And then she they asked me, they was like, it was like so mild. At what age do you think I need to like it? These need to start

We Thought We Would Be Married by 24

SPEAKER_06 13:32

turning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, you know, 27, 28, both one of them act what's it, the 11th, one of them turns 28 in four days.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Okay. And yeah, and it's been But you know what's so crazy? Like, when I was younger, I had assumed that I would be like married by 24. When I was like 20, I could not imagine having a a a kid. I was about to cuss, but a kid right now at 27. Like I could I couldn't imagine. Like right now, I'm here, we rapping, and I'm like, oh I gotta go home. I what? And it's crazy because I'm not I'm grown. Like I'm I'm a full-blown adult. Good job. And imagine it. Yeah. I feel it's like we're not I don't know, the way we thought about aging, I felt like we're skewed. Like when we were younger. So like now I'm thinking about 27, and then COVID, all that stuff happened, but like thinking about 27, 28, it's like, bro, like, what? Marriage, kids, right now.

SPEAKER_06 14:34

I mean, look, some some people were really doing it. Like, I know.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

No, yeah, there are a lot of people that's doing it.

SPEAKER_06 14:40

She has four.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:42

Yeah. Like she, I think she I I think she got like married, she went to the military, married, divorced, had four. And I'm just like, damn girl, you've done with the whole life.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

I mean, we just and I'm a kid. Like, I can't even have a damn dog. I can't even get a dog. I'm trying to feed myself. I want one, but I feel like I move around just too much.

SPEAKER_06 15:04

Yeah, nah. I've seen people with dogs, and they basically all tell me, like, it's damn near like having Yeah, no, like, no.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

A kid that I like voluntarily went paid for. No.

SPEAKER_06 15:16

Yeah. And then they be telling me that you gotta take them out like four or five times a day.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, I had to walk my friend's dog um the other day, and I never walked a dog before. So this was like an experiment. Oh my god. It took me an hour. Because I didn't know how to put the heart, like, it was just so many like moving parts that I was like, oh my god, I never thought about like how much goes into just like walking a dog.

SPEAKER_06 15:39

I'm just thinking, like I mean, what goes into it? You just have the leash and you just walk.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

But no, like you gotta make sure the dog like won't play around. Like, cause like if a dog isn't overly like super comfortable with you, you try and put a leash on it, it's ripping and running, it's barking, like it's it's and then it's like you gotta make sure it uses the bathroom. So when I finally get him outside, he just sniffing and stuff. I'm like, bruh, please go to the bathroom. So yeah, no, mm-mm. I don't think a dog is in my future, not until I'm here in the suburbs and all that.

SPEAKER_06 16:11

Definitely not. I always find myself, I'm like, damn, if I was in a girl and she came with a dog, I would uh I'd be wait, but that's a two-person, two people is better than one. It's true, but it's like, bruh, the thought of like I gotta get up like in interrupt, like four times a day. And I work from home, so it's like what I get up at like I get up at nine, take the dog out. Then I come back, do my work, and then it's lunchtime, die, take the dog out, and then and then I do my thing, take him out one maybe one more time once I get off work, and then one more time before I go to bed. It's a lot. I gotta do that every day.

unknown 16:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Every day until it until it's no longer with you guys.

SPEAKER_06 16:50

But like, I don't know. For me, I like the autonomy to like be able to like move. Move how I want. I don't want to have to think about like, damn, I want to go, like, I'm going to uh LA for the World Cup for some of my teammates in high school. I don't know. Uh thank you. I don't want to think about like damn.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

I gotta find a dog sitter and like who's

Worst Dating Experiences

SPEAKER_00 17:08

gonna who's gonna watch it and watch it.

SPEAKER_06 17:09

I was gonna ask you, what was your uh worst dating experience? Worst?

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Hmm. Worst, worst, worst. Um, I've had pretty good dating experiences, truly like because obviously I'm so intentional about dating, so like when I'm actually in the field goal it's pretty well. I think the worst like date I've ever been on, a first date, this guy, he ends up taking me to I like I met him out with my friends, whatever. He ends up taking me to like Nobu, and it's cool, like it's cool, you know, it's all high scale, whatever. Yeah, it's like a sushi restaurant. Um, we get there, and I'm like not somebody who's very like materialistic personally. So we believe with that, it kind of throws me off. So anyway, we at the date, and the whole time he just like spins complaining about how like all his friends don't get as much money as him, and how he be trying to put everybody on to like you know get into a bag, and how he started this like oh my god, I hope he doesn't hear this, but anyway, how how he started this like um you know vitamin care business in Las Vegas, and he told his man to get on to jump on board and they just would rather be broke. Like he's like, and mind you, this is our first like time engaging. And I'm like, dang, like, what you gonna say about me when I leave? You airing you are you airing your homies out, like you airing them out. And I'm like, do you feel like that's about to make me feel like, oh my god, you're so rich? Like, I'm confused. Like, I was so thrown off. I was like, yeah, that's crazy. Okay, I'm ready to go. Like, it was like, yeah, after a point, it got and then I kept trying to like diverge the conversation. I was like, well, you know, like, you know, everybody has their own race, their own pace, like, you know, maybe they just got other things they want to, nah, but I I you you I've been saying this for years. Like, they I'm like, brother, like, you don't got nothing else to talk about. So yeah, that was that was a really weird experience. That was one, oh, I have another one. Second one was first date again, and I'm there, we're like vibing, we're chilling, kind of like talking, whatever. And I don't know why I kind of hate this question on a date, but then they're like, What's your love language? And I'm like, hear me out. I feel like it's it's sometimes it'd be like strategic because they be like, Oh, what's your love language? I say, Oh, whatever it is. And they're like, Oh, mine's physical touch. And then we'll reach over to touch me, brother. Like, that's not really smooth, and so basically that's kind of what happened. Like, I'm out with this guy, and like I'm like, you know, just we're just having a conversation. He's like, Yeah, like my love language, physical touch. Like, I just need to be close to my person, da-da-da. And then just like starts like trying to move my chair over. I'm like, bro, like, please back the hell up. Like, this is starting to get a little uncomfortable. So yeah, that those those two.

SPEAKER_06 20:01

How often does have you heard that line before about minds physical touching? Da-da-da.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Like, all that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 20:06

Like, that's why I think a I mean that's a first person I've ever heard.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Listen, if you hear that on a first date, be careful. Cause that really no, it's really a thing. Like, I've uh the amount of times I've been out, and then it'd be like uh, oh, what's your love language? And then I'm like, oh, what's yours? Or like whatever I say, mine I'm like, what's yours? Like, oh yeah, mine's physical touch. Like, I just love to be like close to my partner. And I'm like, okay, all right. I get where you're going with this, but let's just finish our food.

SPEAKER_06 20:36

And just go. Yeah, yeah, like that's right.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Let's pack

Why AI Makes Privacy Scarier Than Ever

SPEAKER_00 20:39

it up. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:40

Okay. So I know you're very intentional about separating your real life from your online world. Like, what has that experience taught you about having to separate the two?

SPEAKER_00 20:53

I think so, like, naturally, I'm just very like sociable, even professionally, socially, whatever. And so for me, like, I just think that like I two worlds can exist at the same time, but you just have to be very like strategic about how you do it. So, like, for me in my professional life, like I show up 100%, you know, when it comes to my work, and I it's not hard to find me. Like, I've been on like, you know, interviews and stuff, representing the companies and all the things from a corporate perspective. But then also like online, like I just try to make sure that if there ever was a situation where you know somebody's seen something online, like it's still aligned with just my brand as a whole. So I don't know. I think it's just like one, we learned social media rules when we were kids, and I don't know what happened when we got rules, yeah. Like social media like guidelines don't post your location when you're there, like wait till you leave. But it's crazy to see how like far gone we are when it comes on the net, like where it's like we just forget that there's digital footprint. And I'm sure, like, you know, when I was like 12, I probably was like, so. Fresh and trying to just do whatever, and it's like, no, like you really have to be like strategic about that, and that has nothing to do with like professional or not, it's just more like your image and you how you want to represent yourself online.

SPEAKER_06 22:12

Yeah, no, I feel that. I remember I did a uh challenge, I was trying to run a mile. I think uh what was it? It was sub seven or sub-six. It was sub-seven, then I got that then sub-six. Yeah, and I remember as I was running, like I would like have the camera up, but like I would be conscious. I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Like, what like what if there's times where if I'm like walking like near my apartment, I won't record because I'm like, what if somebody know this tree? Like, I don't know. Like, yeah, what if somebody knows this tree or what if somebody knows this thing? I'm trying to tell you with AI, they could definitely they can definitely yo, and it's and it's scary because it it's not even if they know, it's like people are actively doing this shit. Like, I think it's one thing if like, oh, this is just being paranoid. No, no, no, no, no. People are actually like trying to find where you work, trying to find where you like it's like weird. I mean, you know, docs and the bots or whatever. Um, so I just try to make sure that like, and I think for anybody out there, like, just be conscious, be smart, like don't be loose, like don't be loose, like you don't gotta be overly strict or whatever, but like make sure you're on your P's and Q's because at the end of the day, like your safety is everything. And that's I I'm really big on that.

Starting Her YouTube Journey

SPEAKER_06 23:22

100%. So why do you so I noticed you posted content on TikTok and Instagram? Why don't you get on YouTube?

SPEAKER_00 23:30

So I actually just did start like dropping like YouTube shorts recently, and I got 10 subscribers um like within the last two weeks.

SPEAKER_06 23:41

Where's the link?

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Yeah, YouTube, YouTube era loading. You know what it is? Like, like right now, I can do like also I was going like TikTok live and stuff like that. Like I can yap. I think the editing, like when I gotta get down to like really sitting, and I'm good at editing actually, like if I'm really like trying, um, but that's kind of what be like deterring me from YouTube. So I did I do the shorts right now and then maybe some more long form content.

SPEAKER_06 24:08

Like if you were to do YouTube long form, are you gonna do like more vlogs? Like, what is what is that look like?

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Um, it would probably be just like, I don't know, like I I try to, I'm the oldest of seven, so I always like look at myself as like just big sis, like all the times. I think there will be like a lot of things that um I've learned about myself, you know, that I want to talk about in terms of like lessons learned, growth when I'm talking about like even again, I'm separate about my professional life, but like if you are looking to like, you know, do professional work, things like that, like what does that look like? How do you translate? Like, how do your skills that you have now translate into the real world? Blogs, like I think my like brand as it is, like really just a representative, like it's not curated. Like, I'm literally just a representation of like every little piece of my life, and then just trying to package it up in a way that's resonates with other people. So yeah, so I would do it, I'd do a little bit of everything.

SPEAKER_06 25:04

Just blogging.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

If you need a little like you know, TED talk, if you need some some prayer, okay, because I I I'm talking to God, like whatever we need to do, like I think I'm very diverse

How She Decides What Content to Make

SPEAKER_00 25:17

in that sense.

SPEAKER_06 25:18

So, how do you go about I guess like figuring out what to post? Do you like just wake up one day and be like, yeah, I'm just gonna make content about this, or like do you plan things out in advance?

SPEAKER_00 25:28

No, so like something that like I'm really passionate about is just like community and impact and like advocacy. Like, that's really just like at my core. And I think when I started like making content in DC, it was really around like just things that I was doing, like whether that was like going out to eat, whatever, whatever. Um, and then I was realizing I'm like, oh my God, it's just so many of our people out here. Like, what are and it's so many of our people, yeah, so many of our people out here um that's just doing really dope stuff. Like, how do I capture that? Um, and then how do I like integrate into the world where it's like, okay, like where there are other opportunities that I can either usher other people into, um, things like that. So I feel like it really my content kind of always ties back into how do I make this applicable to other people? Whether that's like inspiring you. So if you saw, if you was a girl and you saw my content about like not dating or like not engaging in sexual relations or whatever, whatever, you're like, okay, like that's interesting. Why? Like, you know, so I always try to tie all of my things back to you know, how does this like resonate or impact somebody else's life in a positive way? So, like, for example, like I went to a bullpen event and it was like raining.

SPEAKER_06 26:40

You went, yeah. I'm not gonna lie, I went to I went to a brunch that day, me and my homie, we bought tickets. It was fire. I saw, I don't know. I was just like, are we really gonna go? It's low-key cold, it's raining.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

See, that's the problem. That's the problem, right? Shh, because I feel like, and that's kind of where I do, like when again, when I decide to like do certain forms of content, it's like I don't know, like, world the life is hard, right? Life is hard. Like, there's just so much going on in the world. Every time you turn on the the internet, it's something negative, like it's just so much, right? And I think as black people, sometimes like we like can box ourselves in, like, uh no, I ain't doing that. Like, that that ain't our type of stuff. We ain't about to be dancing in the rain. Like, but why not? Like, if I understand that it's cold, put on a jacket. I understand that it might be raining a little bit, put on a poncho. There's so many people, like I used to run cross country. We run in and rain, sleep, hail, snow. It don't really matter because it's like we just gotta get it done. Like, I feel like sometimes just like do the thing and then go for the experience, experience the joy. Like, some, like, there were so many people I was seeing out there, like dan, like break dancing. I'm just like, yo, like this is literally like the like black joy. Like, it's in the sense of like it's not curated, it's not like um performative. Like, people who are out here genuinely are just having fun. And like, I feel like that's something that I feel like we should be doing more of.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

I like that. And honestly, how did you say that?

SPEAKER_06 28:13

Next time it rains, I'm gonna get right here when it's raining outside, so you I better see you outside.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

I'll be like, yeah, I'm here, and then I'm gonna be under the little thing, and then I'm gonna come back out if it starts pouring, because I definitely was under a little, you know, when it was pouring. But when it when it cleared up, I was back, I was out. And one thing about me, I'm gonna dance. Like, I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna interact with people like that I don't know. I'm gonna meet somebody and I'm gonna bust a move because at the end of the day, like again, life is hard. We only live, we literally don't know our last day. Like, not to be vulgar, but like truly, like we don't. So I always like think in the sense of like in a positive way of like because of that, I wanna make sure that I'm like trying to live life in a way that really feels like authentic, that really feels like I'm bringing as much joy into my life as possible.

SPEAKER_06 29:02

So you know what you should do? You seem to be very mixy. You should go to like all these parties. Like, you ever see those content creators that be like doing interviews and they just ask people random questions? Yeah, yeah. You ever thought about that?

SPEAKER_00 29:15

I actually got asked to do it for um a party that passed, so we're gonna connect on that because we I was supposed to do it, actually. I don't know. I mean like I could ask people questions though.

SPEAKER_06 29:26

I definitely see what's happened to the I mean you don't have to go this far or this vulgar, but you saw what happened to Hawk 2, she became a millionaire overnight because that shit. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 29:34

So just talking, and I do talk to people.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

You're really extroverted?

SPEAKER_00 29:41

No, it's so weird. It's so weird.

SPEAKER_06 29:44

Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Let's see how weird.

SPEAKER_06 29:46

That's weird, but I am miss outside breakdancing in the rain.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

I am you know what it is, it's like I'm an extroverted person to myself.

SPEAKER_06 30:00

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Meaning like I'm actually pretty shy sometimes. Like if there's like if I see other cameras coming around and they're like ready to record me, I'm like, all right, chill. But as soon as I move see the camera, move away, like now I'm ready to like be myself. Like, I don't know, like I don't, like I'm like extroverted in the sense of like I don't mind doing things and like I will go outside, whatever, but I'm also like pretty reserved where like I also don't like being the center of attention. So like if there's like too much going on, like you'll see, even if I'm in a club or something, like you'll see I might like do my little thing by some move, but I'm gonna be over there in the corner and they're gonna be like, oh, there's London, like she over there. Like, she's not trying to be like front and center all the time. And I like I don't know, it's just my vibe. Like, I'm more like you know, casual.

SPEAKER_06 30:46

It always interests me to hear content creators uh post, especially as consistently as you say and go live and interact with people, like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Yeah, no, because okay, I I was a psych major, you know what I'm saying? So bring out the degree, like, I mean, it's really about how you recharge. Like when I recharge, like I really do do that alone. Like, I'm very much a like, and I and it's so crazy because like you think of my community, like back home, like I have a lot of just different like friend groups, associate groups, things like that. Um, and people that I've connected with like just throughout my life. So, like, people would really think like they're they'll be like, yo, like London, like, you know, this person, and it's like, yeah, but I'm like so like inept on just how to like have like a good conversation with someone and just kind of keep it pushing and then also just nice. So if I see you again, I'm gonna speak, like I'm not gonna be weird. That it's kind of like made this like, oh wait, she's super extroverted. But to be honest, like I if I had to choose some time, like no, most of the time, I'm gonna be like off to the side recording. That's what I like to do. Like, I like to take the pictures of people, I like to take the videos of people, I like to take the videos of the experience. But me, all right, now we start to get a little crazy.

SPEAKER_06 31:56

That's one thing I like whenever I do these interviews, like I don't mind doing the interviews because like I actually prefer doing them because it like highlights you, my guests, etc. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Like whenever it's

Why Long Form Content Feels Scary

SPEAKER_00 32:07

just me in front of the camera, I'll just be like And hence why I haven't started doing long for content on YouTube. You gotta think, like, when it really starts to make sense when you think about it. Because even my like core videos that I posted that I've like clipped up, it's me on live where I'm just kind of like talking, but I'm not like pre-planned, this is what I'm gonna hit on. Like, cause now I'm like, all right, this is starting to feel goofy. Like, I don't know, like this is starting to, and it's not real, like it's not it's all in my head. Yeah, like I'm like, okay, and so for this episode, like I don't know, like, and it's not goofy, it's not, it's just like that's like what's happening in my head. Um, so you know, I'm but I'm working through it. Like, I was a lot more internally like reserved, I would say. Because again, I don't think people like if I spoke on like a panel or if I spoke, you know, at work, like and I was like shaking and stuff, people would be like, Oh, I could never tell. But like I've like started to get a lot more comfortable over time, but it's still Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:05

I'm telling you, YouTube long form, especially like the videos that you actually have to plan in the script. I hate doing those. Like, I envy people who do like once a week. I sit down, I script, and like like shout out to y'all.

SPEAKER_00 33:17

And it's like I don't know if I always have everything, like, I mean, actually, no, I'm lying. I got always got something to talk about. And I will say, I think that's why, like, it I made a joke on TikTok one time, and I was like, I think this is my spam account because I really just like to post what I want to post. And I feel like we've gotten into like a realm with like social media where everything's so like perfect and curated, and you know, I gotta have this. I am not that girl, like I'm really like go with the flow, like I'm type B in real life. So I low-key be feeling like even my page sometimes, it gives type B. Like she just she just woke up today and said, Oh, this is cute. Let me just post it. And I feel like that's like something I lean into versus like run away from when I post.

We Consume Too Many Opinions

SPEAKER_00 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:00

So one thing that you mentioned on our pre-call before this, you said something about uh people consume too many opinions. I want you to expand on that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Yeah, no, I genuinely believe we were not supposed to hear as many people talk that we do. Like in a regular like you think about TikTok, like, and even me, I am, I am guilty number one. Like when you can just brain rot and you hear an opinion on you hear an opinion on um, I don't even know, like taxes, then you hear government, then you hear social media, then you hear relationships, and every person has an opinion. And I think like being a human, we were never supposed to consume as many opinions as we do. And I think it's constricting like us having free-flowing thought. Like, I think now, like we I don't know, when I was like a kid, maybe in like third grade, we talked about like, you know, groupthink and you know, group leader, you know, all that stuff. And that really rate, like, like I feel like now we're kind of raising a generation of not to say like this, but like followers, like people are unable to like believe and like have conviction about what they genuinely believe um because of somebody else's opinion. They're scared to give their own opinion because it's like, oh, well, if I give my own opinion, all the backlash is gonna come from it, whatever. So I just I just think that like we were never supposed to consume as many thoughts from other people that we do. And I that's why we have to touch grass. Like we have to go outside, touch grass, we have to read. Like we have to pick up books and read. Um and we have to like sit with our own thoughts sometimes. I read a book and it was about how like um I don't even know the statistic and I don't want to get it wrong, but um a major part of our thoughts are not original thoughts that we've had. Like it's it's just through something that we've heard, like so whether that was yeah, experience. Like we it's actually not an original thought. It's like something that either someone said and it just like stuck with you, and so now you feel like that's your thought, or it's something that you read, like whatever. And I thought that was so interesting because it's like, wait, like when's the last time I created like an original idea, an original thing that was like, oh wait, this is like my core. Like this is exactly like this is something that's coming from me. Um, and so I just think we have to sit with ourselves more, like in silence, in the dark, just like, yo, what I what's going on in here?

SPEAKER_06 36:22

Yeah, that's why I like having a journal because just sitting down and being able to write about my day on Sundays. I reflect on like my emotional state, shit like that. So, like it's it's good to get the thoughts out.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Yes, and like I actually feel like a natural like worrier. Like, if you're someone who just happens to like think about a million different things at once, like you have to sit and just be like, wait, like, let me slow down. What am I thinking? And what like what am I going through? Like, you know, and I think we don't do that enough because like society is just so fast-paced, like down to again, TikTok. You can our attention spans is like left so fast where like if TikTok, and I'm I'm guilty, like if he's talking too slow, it's either two times speed or I gotta move on. Like, I can't like get to the point. So, um, yeah, I just think like, like you said, journaling is good. I journal a lot, reading, you know, if you're into um your word, like reading the Bible, praying, like just like things to like really start getting your brain moving outside of the internet.

SPEAKER_06 37:24

So I was talking to somebody and I said, um, and I told them if there's one thing that I can instill in my kids, like everything else is basically optional, and it's but this one thing like they're going to have, it would be to just think critically and question everything. Like, even like what I'm saying, like even like don't just think that just gonna be your dad, like you should just do it. Like, just just sit, like, just sit with that, think about it, think about is that true, why that's true.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Like, I really want my kids to genuinely be no, it's so funny because when I was a kid, oh my god, like my mouth, and the sense of like my mom hate I mean, you know, black parents, do what I say and shut up. What I say goes, you don't have an opinion, and I used to get in so much trouble because no, and and it's like don't be disrespectful to your parents, right? But like for me, like growing up, I was always like so big on like holding on to my opinion. If I didn't agree with something, like, mom, just because you said that, like that's not it's it's not real just because it's coming through your lens. And if I gotta get in trouble for that, whatever. Like, you know, and so I think that's something I'm definitely gonna instill with my kids respectfully, right? Because if I was ever disrespectful, you know, we got a little, we got we got it together. But I think that it's important to like really make sure that because without free thinkers, like I said, we're we're building a generation of followers. Who's gonna be the people who are actually like leading

The AP Watch Debate and Trend Culture

SPEAKER_00 38:54

and giving pushing sustaining and pushing forward? If everybody's like, oh yeah, I'm down, like it's like um a domino effect.

SPEAKER_06 39:01

Like, oh, we all we have even seen the AP watches on Oh my god, that shit has had me crying.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Bruh. I literally text my homegirls, I'm like, do you shit like Google watches? Like, what are we really like what are we really talking about? It's like it's not, but but because it's trendy, it's nice, everybody's talking about it.

SPEAKER_06 39:21

I mean, they do it for the status, at least the guys are doing it for the status.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:25

So it's like, you know what I'm saying? But I personally wouldn't do it because it's like I know everybody else is gonna buy it.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

And it's like, and it's nothing wrong with it to an extent, right? Like, if people but it's like, do you actually like it? And I think that's the question like I feel like that's where we start to like miss out on things. It's like, am I getting this because of the trend, or like, do I genuinely like this?

SPEAKER_06 39:45

So, yeah, there's a comment. This is I I want to dig a little deeper into this.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:49

So this is a conversation I literally hit was having yesterday. Yeah, and like it goes like with the AP watches and how like it's a trendy, like, do you really like it? Yeah, and I was explaining to this, um, I was explaining to this girl that a lot of like what drives like subconsciously, I don't think that people are genuinely doing this, but a lot of what drives um what we do as humans is towards reproduction, right? And so the reason why the men are out here trying to get APs or fake APs or whatever is because they want to have that status because that's kind of like a peacock and they might be able to get women and be able to get laid and blah blah blah and be able to repro like you know what I'm saying. But like, do I genuinely think that these guys are out there like, oh my goodness, like I can't love this watch. I love this watch, or oh my goodness, when I get this watch, I'm about to get laid. Like, no, like you know what I'm saying? It's just one of those things where it's just like if you see that like that is a trend, like, oh shit, like women like niggas with status and blah blah blah, AP this, AP that, oh shit, and you hop on the bandwagon. So I don't do I think that they genuinely like it.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

No, I don't think no, and I think I mean that's a really good point because at the end of the day, you you hear that trend is like everything I do is footage. Like, like, I mean, I'm trying to tell you it's it's it's like I mean, I feel like, yeah, every every I I can understand that, especially like, and we're talking about like heterosexual normal normality. It's like, yes, in that realm, like a lot of people are doing those things, but then that brings up the conversation around like if that is how you're leading, right? Like if it's like, oh, like I'm getting this to show off and I'm with the girls, and da-da-da-da. Don't be that same man that's like, all women want is money and this and that, because those are the type of women you're gonna attract. You're gonna attract materialistic women when you're leading with your materials. It's like, if I'm getting this item because I feel like, or if I'm getting this big old chain, if I'm getting this carb or whatever, because I I want the girls to like see what I'm fly, whatever. Okay. So when that girl recognizes the type of wash you got on, the the chain, how much that chain was, this and that, and then you like, oh, she's so superficial. I want a woman who's wholesome, who doesn't want, like that that's the lifestyle you're attracting. Like, we we gotta live in our frequency. Like, you're gonna attract those type of people.

SPEAKER_06 42:00

And you know, I've thought about that too. I go back and forth with my man's about like DM. Like, I'd rather like I don't know, I'd rather find my wife before I make it so I know that she likes me. I don't want to get to the top, and then all of a sudden it's like, yeah, you got all these options, but it's like that's because you at the top.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

Yeah, yeah. And I think like, I don't know, like I didn't grow up with just a bunch of like material things. And everything that I got, like, I've always like been taught to like value. There is value in everything that you do, whatever even when you know, like again, I worked a really good job, like money was never really like an object for me, but even when like that's the case, it's like there's not about to be this situation where I'm living, I'm trying to, I'm trying to portray a lifestyle that I'm not living, or just trying to portray this lifestyle just for the sake of being like, oh, I got these things. Like no, if I if I I'd rather like date someone or be with someone or like friend, all of the things with people who are like just genuine, modest, and when we want to pop out, we can, like, we can do our big one, but it's that's not my core. Like so, like there's more depth to me in

Why People Only Support You Up to a Certain Point

SPEAKER_00 43:11

a sense.

SPEAKER_06 43:12

So I and one of your uh reels, you talked about how people only support you up to a certain ceiling. Can you expand on that a little more?

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Yeah, no, I think it's it's sad.

SPEAKER_03 43:23

Did you experience that firsthand? You messy.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

No, I think I think that you like there's always going to be the people who like out who are loud and are like overly supportive and things like that. But I don't know what it is. Like I feel like people got comfortable being like, I don't gotta support my friend just because she's trying to do this thing. Like, if I don't resonate with what she's doing, then I don't that's weird. And I feel like we have to acknowledge that it's weird because. Because why not? Like I I genuinely be like thinking like, okay, if I saw something that my friend posted and she's trying to start a new business venture, she's trying whatever. Even if I can't say she was starting a business for petite women for women who are uh max 5'2 and and extra small, right? And I seen that was her business venture. I'm not about to be like, oh well, I mean, I'm not five, I'm I'm five seven, so I I mean I support you, but like I ain't gonna repo that's weird. Like, even because that's her target audience and that's my friend. So I'm gonna do whatever I can to like uplift her, hope that she gets where she needs to get. And yeah, so I don't know. I just think that like it'd be low-key, like, I don't want to say hating, but it do like people only want to see you as far as they see themselves. It's like, oh, like, wait, you getting over that, like you getting up to this point, like nah, like, nah, like you cool, but but then once say you hit a million followers, now everybody I knew her, baby. That was my friend, but hold on, baby, where was you at when I was at two? Like, hold on, baby.

SPEAKER_06 45:10

Like, was you at when I was like at a thousand?

SPEAKER_00 45:12

At a thousand, when I was at 300, like where was the where was the support? And it's like, and it's it's not it's not mandatory, but I will say, like, those are the types of things people remember. Like, I'm I'm I'm a very like good friend, like in the sense of like if I genuinely feel like you're in my community, like you show up for me, whatever, like I'm gonna always do what I can to show up for you, support you, like breathe life into you, all those things. So it's like, you know what I'm saying? I'm gonna always remember, like, it's like it ain't even a track record, but it's like, no, don't wait until you see everybody else banging with me, and then being like, oh, let me jump on the let me hop on the train now. Okay, everybody likes London. No, no, no, no, like ride with me the whole way because then by the time I'm there, it's like, oh, I'm taking all y'all with me because I I knew y'all was with me, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 45:59

So I'm gonna push back just a teeny bit. Okay. So for me, when it comes to like support, especially because most of the support is like social media, yeah. I think people get too caught up in the fact that like of what like support looks like. And what I mean by that is that I've seen people like make pages for whatever they're doing, and da-da-da, and then complain that people didn't follow.

SPEAKER_00 46:23

Okay, now that's a little different, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a trend. Also, don't and I think that's a good point you make because that's not what I'm saying. Like, I am not guilt tripping in nobody for not like I don't know. That's that shit is cringe to me. Like, I'm not watching the likes to make it. And don't get and don't get on the internet shading people, like, oh, it'd be your main. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, in the sense of like, there are people you know you can tell who genuinely like just watching. So, like they're like, I think there's a big difference between those people who are like kind of begging their friends to do for everything, versus people who just kind of authentically do their thing and then notice like some of the people that call them like day day ones, whatever, are just noticeably silent. Like, I think that there's like a really big difference. Like, you don't gotta repose every single thing that I do, but you only do one. Like, yeah, you ain't, you ain't not not one time. Like, I mean, I've been doing like it's like I've been doing this for years. Like, you like I think there is, and again, not associates, but like people you genuinely are like considering your friends. Like, I think there's like sometimes we let, and I I think that's just like in the black community in general, like our idea of community has just completely been misconscrew. Like, community is supposed to show up for you, community is supposed to support you, like so. Yeah, I think that again, and again, no shade, like if you don't want to support, listen, they ain't I keep saying I'm gonna be a millionaire, so at the end of the day, like we're gonna just see when we how we rock it.

SPEAKER_06 47:55

And see, and that's my mentality too, is that I believe in me and I believe. Right, like I know I'm gonna get it. Like, it's like I don't really care like that, like so-and-so didn't follow me when I was at fucking month one or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

I don't care. But I will care when you're trying to like like hang off my clout. Because that's really what it comes, that's what it comes down to.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

It'll happen.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

And like, I don't think because I don't care about like that type of thing, but I will say, like, as soon as people feel like you got a little status, you got a little emotion, you got this and that now everybody in your face. And it's like, that's weird. That's weird. That's a little weird.

SPEAKER_06 48:30

So, I've how have you built your circle around you that um you know supports

Making Friends in a New City From Scratch

SPEAKER_06 48:35

you in your growth with this?

SPEAKER_00 48:36

Um, I just feel like a lot of my so again, I have a lot of just like authentic relationships just across. It's so funny because like even when I have like birthday parties or group trips or whatever, like I'm the person that mixes a friend group. Like I'm a mix of friend group down.

SPEAKER_06 48:52

Really? Yes, and it always works out. Is men scared to do that?

SPEAKER_00 48:55

It always for the most part. Like, I mean, I I'm in a new city now, but like back home, it always works out because I genuinely feel like discernment is important. Like, if you start to kind of feel a type of way towards somebody, that's your intuition going off that they're probably not really somebody that's really aligned friend-wise. Um, and I try to like distance myself from people like that. Um, but yeah, no, I I think like I'm a Delta, so through my organization, like I have people that are like my sisters for life. Like, um, you know, there's also like my friendships I made in college. Like, I still connected a couple of them. I have like people, like literally, like even just through Jersey, like just people that I've like made friends through like some best friends, like, you know, like really cultivating that. And then coming into DC, I used to go out by myself a lot. So like I'd be at the bar. Yeah, like I'd be at the bar and just like chilling, eating, and then someone just comes up, we start rapping, and next thing you know, like I see them at another event, or they invite me out and they're like, hey, come to this thing, this thing. So, like, kind of I think how I built my community out here was really just me just being me, doing my own thing. Yeah, and then now I kind of just like built connections and like built like real relationships with people through that. I mean, making new friends in a new city, like that was oh yeah, how was it? That's hard. Like it's really hard because and I and I all these friends you're talking about.

SPEAKER_06 50:15

You met like N DC N DC. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Yeah, so like I didn't because I didn't have family out here, I didn't have friends out here, nothing. Like I just came, dropped into the city and said, let's see what we're doing.

SPEAKER_06 50:24

So how does that like work? Okay, now it's Friday night, like okay, like you ain't got no like what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 50:30

I go out. I was literally finding things, like I was finding events on Posh that I was just like, oh, this is interesting, let me go. And I would just go by myself. Through that, like my first friend that I met um in DC, I actually met at Oku at Happy Hour. We were talking, vibing, like laughing, kicked it off. And then next thing you know, he was inviting me around, like all his friends, and then like I became friends with their homegirl that they've been friends with since college. And then I met another girl, like one of my closer friends um here in DC. She hit me up on TikTok, and then like it was like weird because I'm like, oh my god, like what if it's weird? But it was like literally hit it off. Like it was like we hit it off, and like literally probably like one of my top homegirls in the city. So I don't know, like you just have to again, discernment is important. Like, I think I'm learning that actively. Like, I'm learning, like, you know, there are just go out friends. There are friends you tell your business to, and like I it's like it's so funny because that's why I said like DC's like college, because like you know these things, but when you are like in your 20s, why can't everybody in the same way? Or like you get to a certain age and you're kind of like, wait, are we still on that shit? Where like we can't, like, I can't confide, you know. Like, are we still like with like an immature mindset? You know what I mean? Like, and so like that's my thing. I'm like, I kind of was giving everybody a fair chance of like, well, I'm assuming I'm mature, I'm grown-ass woman. Why would anybody else I'm around not be on that? But that's just the real. Like, everybody's in a different stage of life and different stage of development. So it's just kind of like you just have to really be discerning um and just know what circles are what, basically. And for what, like, but again, all of my like my friends out here, like dope people, cool people, like I feel like I've definitely like cultivated a lot of like genuine relationships out here, which is really dope. And also, like, it's so funny because I I tend to I've always just had more male friends in my life, which is like I don't know, it's like I'm just like literally through my track record, it's like some of my best, like best, best friends are guys, like um, and it's never on a weird like old trying to, you know, like because I think I posted something about that where

Can Men and Women Really Just Be Friends?

SPEAKER_00 52:40

I was like uh listen, I had I had that conversation that yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:45

That that guy friends thing, that's it's very interesting. I'll be seeing those TikToks where they be like, yo, those guy guy friends are just trying to Yeah, like what?

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Like that's so weird.

SPEAKER_06 52:54

Like, no, like I'd be your experience, but I'm trying to tell you some of these niggas really be lurking in the weeds.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

But I think that there, I mean, you can always I don't know. I feel like you can always tell. Yes, I feel like you can always tell and you know that's like really like genuinely just cool. And that and that's not to say that the man's not attracted. Because I think if you're a straight man, like if you see an attractive woman, you're you're gonna be attracted. That's bare minimum. But that doesn't mean like I I feel like men who are used to being around pretty women, not to say like that, but like, and are cool, like and can just be cool, have sexual discipline, they're not pressed about their homegirls. Like they're genuinely just like, like, this is like this could be like my little brother. Like you don't even see her like that because it's like, okay, we built like a relationship, we've already, there's no, there is no, oh, I'm just waiting for the opportunity. Like, I don't have any male friends in my life like that.

Her Time at Seton Hall and the Value of Education

SPEAKER_06 53:52

Thanks, because I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:55

So how was um wanted to transition a little bit?

SPEAKER_04 53:58

How was your time at Seton Hall?

SPEAKER_00 54:03

It was cool. Like, I don't know. Yeah, like it's cool. I don't know. Like, me, like, I think education is important, particularly now. Um, you know, when they're trying to just do all the things that they're doing in the world, um, particularly in our black spaces, like being educated is very important. Um, but I struggle because I think a lot of what I've like done in my life, career, whatever, whatever, have really been me just kind of like jumping into the field, like and learn, like you know, you know, learning the hard way and like trying to, you know, and failing. Like, you know, like I think like school is kind of like a simulation of just like, you know, learn how to quantum physics this that you'll probably never use ever in life.

SPEAKER_03 54:54

Ever.

SPEAKER_00 54:54

Um and then you get into the real world and you're like, wait, no, what's important is being able to communicate. What's important is being able to like really think critically and like be able to, you know, um, like like there's like just like real world tangible skills I think are like sometimes, I don't won't say more important, but just like very important when you just get out of school. So yeah, like school's cool. Like I say, my I encourage all my people to go to get that degree because that's not something they could take away from you. But I think getting in the field and also knowing what you're passionate about, where you're called, all those things early, so that you can start trying to invest in yourself, like early on.

SPEAKER_06 55:36

It didn't really answer how your experience was at C Hall. That was like a general college.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

Shout out to C Hall though. Like, don't get it confused. Like, C Hall is a great, great, great school, but it was cool.

Why London Doesn't Want to Be A Full Time Creator

SPEAKER_04 55:50

At least you have that to say about them.

SPEAKER_03 55:53

Oh man, so do you want to be a full-time creator?

SPEAKER_00 55:55

Why we're not I would like to be a full-time entrepreneur in the sense of like there's gonna be like business ventures, like business ventures that I'm doing, but content creation would just be kind of like something I'm doing alongside of that. I think the reason why not is really just down to like sometimes people, it's like too much of a like entitled field. Like, if I want to like take a break for a month or two, everything about your life is kind of dependent upon like how much you want to share, how much you wanna produce, like what types of brands are gonna want to sponsor, you know, like things like that. Um, and granted, I think those are like amazing opportunities, but I feel like the way that I want to orchestrate my life is like something that allows me to do this like as as fun. Like if I think sometimes when you take things you like, you like to do and it becomes your everything, you start to kind of like lose passion for because it's like, oh, just stop paying my bills, so I you know, get my chick, whatever. So, like I think for sure, like I would love to continue to do this and like grow and like all of that, but there's just like so many other lanes that I want to get into that I wouldn't want to like box myself in just to content creating.

SPEAKER_06 57:10

That's very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

I never thought about like that entitled, like I get that like when you're a full-time creator, it's like your life is everybody's worth, like what people like your life, and it's so funny because people be saying these things and like people's comments and stuff is like people get mad at like people and they're like, Oh, yeah, I'll just hating. They're like, Well, we pay for your life. You know, like I personally but it's I and I mean it's not true, right? Because there's brands that are whatever, but there's like that air of like, no, people do feel entitled to your time, your energy, your thoughts, all those things because especially if people have stream. It's but because this is what I've put out for y'all. Like, I like I'm showing y'all everything I'm doing. So if I ever just decide I don't want to do this anymore and I just want to, it's like I would have to come make a complete 360 in a and try to find a new lane. So yeah, like for me, I think like it's great. Like it's a great way to, it's kind of like your network, your network is your no, your net worth is your network. Um and it's kind of like that. Like you can use social media as a tool, but like for me personally, I don't necessarily think it would be like my my end

Social Media Normalized Harassing People

SPEAKER_00 58:18

all be all.

SPEAKER_06 58:19

And then what's one thing social media made normal that should not have been harassing people.

SPEAKER_00 58:27

Like, why do we why do we feel and I think we're comfortable because it's behind a screen. Like, you would never, you would never step to me like this in real life. Ever. Like, you said like some of the stuff people be saying to people, and I'm like, now you know if you saw that person in real life, you was never saying that to them. And people will yeah, like I think like harassment and just like being rude and mean and stuff and nasty, like I don't know why the internet sometimes can be so negative and nasty, but like it's like y'all not doing this in real life. Y'all not, y'all not like it's like fake tough. Like, why are we sitting here or like overly critique, like, cause you're overly critiquing every little thing someone has on, the way that they look, this, that, the third, like how they put out the the light that they had on, the light they had on and while they were recording, oh, that you should get this. Like, bro, like you're behind the screen. So I think like harassment and just like overly critiquing everybody, I don't think that that should have been normal. We had like food critics and we had you know play critics in real life that would like write about it and blogs and get paid for it. And I think like everybody's a everybody's a critic now. Everybody's a social media critic, and everything has to be overly analyzed by people who have no actual like technical grounds on it.

SPEAKER_06 59:40

And to take that a step further, I think because of social media and how you get like paid for views, people find it okay to like film themselves like doing stupid shit or harassing people to try and cloud and that's like what?

SPEAKER_00 59:54

Like, or even just like yeah, oh that's a good like even like when people be like trying to like provoke random strangers into fights or tripping, like what are we doing? Like, or like everything is like for the view, like, oh yeah, well, if I do this, no, like why are you jumping off a bridge and recording it to be like, oh, I'm I'm I'm bridge diving. No, you're doing and you're recording it because you knew that's gonna get a lot of views, but it's like we started into like real dangerous territory, like like let's start being a

Her Book Loving Without Losing Yourself

SPEAKER_00 1:00:24

little bit more smart.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:24

Yeah, you posted this hot take. You said most girls are not girls' girls. Can you expand on that?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:29

Most girls are not girls' girls. Um, no, I think it's real.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:33

Like, I think, and the more I'm like let's define what a girl's girl is first, because I'm I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

I think a girl's girl is honestly a people's person.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Meaning you're somebody who is like genuine. I I would use it in women's terms, like you're genuine, not like overly male-centered. I think a lot of women who are not good girls, girls tend to be a little bit more male-centered, so things are like if if they had to choose between a homegirl and that man, they go with that man. And um, I also think that it's just someone who like shows up for you, like, and again, that's what I said people's person, like you're like you're somebody that shows up, you're just you're you're a genuinely good person. Um and I say most women are not girls' girls, I really was talking about the fact that I think that it'd be like a dog eat dog world. Like it's like if if you know if I want that man, like, and you was looking at him, I'm finna listen, may the best girl win. Like it's like it's like a dog fight, but like a cat fight or whatever you want to say, like for like women sometimes. And I think we're taught a lot of the times, like as young girls, like, or not even taught, like it's sometimes ingrained in society to be very like individualistic. And then like from a girl's perspective, like that means that like in order for me to be, you know, here, like I have to like be better than you, or like just have like this jealousy because it's like, you know, like I I just have to be, I have I have to have a leg up over you. Um, and because of that, I don't even necessarily like blame like women. I think like our society has really shaped women in the sense of like we're always in like comparison culture. Like we're looking at Instagram models and they got all the body or whatever, and it's like, oh well, dang, like I'm trying to be like that. Like, you know, it's just because of comparison culture, because of like societal pressure standards, because of like just women in general having, you know, just different insecurities that we go through, whatever. I think it just leads to this era of like, well, I'm individualistic and I'm gonna go out and get what I want, no matter who those tools I have to step on. Um, luckily, I've been blessed where like a lot of my homegirls that I really like A1 Day ones, none of that none of the things that I mentioned aren't girls. They they are very much girls, girls. Like, you know, if I gotta go to the bathroom, oh no, girl, I'm coming with you. Or like if I'm gonna leave, no, I'll walk out with you. Like, you know, just things where we're really gonna look out. And it's like, um, I think we definitely need more of that for

Most Girls Are Not Girls Girls

SPEAKER_00 1:03:14

sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:15

I thought it was like kind of cold, like, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:18

It's I mean, I had a situation with a girl who's you know, did some bullshit and really like specifically said, Well, I never claimed to be a girl's girl. Like, I mean, it's it's she said that? Yes, to my face. Damn. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:28

And you cannot go out with that friend.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:30

No, no, I don't talk to her, but like it's like, I mean, it's real. Like, and it I don't even think some people notice it. Like, yeah, just being like, like the the like, even if you're like weird and shady, like it's like that whole like I never really like again, I just can't be fake. So it's like if it's like either we banging, you like me or you don't. Like, I don't like that like in-between thing. Um, and even down to like when you see like on social media where there's like a really pretty girl, she's posting whatever, like sometimes you'll see like really hateful like stuff from other women. Like you'll see, like, and again, I I'm not about to name, but like there was like one person who like really blew up, and I guess like the women didn't like how she blew up, and so it was just like dogging her. And it's like, yo, like if this was you, like, regardless of whatever, like if you were this woman, like would you want that to be your reality? And then people justify, like, well, she shouldn't. No, like as a woman, I'm I like am hurt for other women who are getting attacked by women on on the internet. So, like, why are you being that person? And that, and you see it a lot, like I see it a lot.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:37

So it's the end of the interview. So I want to ask you, what do you want to leave the audience with before we close out?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:44

Um, so a couple of things, I guess. Like, I think what we talked about a lot was just more like, you know, showing up authentically authentically yourself, um, and also like being like a leader and like not subjecting yourself to group think. Um, so I would definitely want to leave people with that. Like, I think sometimes it's like really, really scary to just like be yourself. Um, and I feel like for me, like me just being me has always been my greatest asset. People either love it, they love, they hate it, whatever, but like I'm just gonna be who I am and I'm never gonna like shrink from that. Um, so I think that that's really important. Also, we talked a lot about dating. Uh, so like for me, also, I think that what I'm saying kind of like ties into that as well. Like, you can date or whatever, or not date, and you be fine. Like, I'm totally okay and I'm totally happy being single. And I'm also like not what's it called? Like, I'm not like lowering my standards just to build somebody, build, be with somebody, or feel like I gotta get some quick stuff and being disrespected. Like, I think respect is your greatest asset. So, like, don't be letting people like disrespect you just for the sake of not wanting to be alone. Plug, I did write a book about. That.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:00

So you I you did a book. It was like a nine-day workbook about what self-lover.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:04

Um, it's called Loving Without Losing Yourself.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:07

Okay. What made inspired you to write that book?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:09

Um, I think that like as I've just gotten older, um, there's like a lot of things that I've learned. Like, I've been in therapy since 2021. Um, so I've learned a lot about like my attachment styles, learned a lot about just like how I show up in relationships. I've been into relationships, so like things that I've learned through past relationships, like just a combination of just things, and then also just like talking to my homegirls and like understanding what they're going through and then trying to like be that voice of reason. Um, I felt like I was just feeling called to be like, yo, like a lot of us we get in relationships, sometimes as women and men um might start getting weight or you know, like not doing the things that we actually feel passionate about, all those things. Um, so how do you find yourself in love without like losing yourself? And so like that's kind of where the inspiration started to come from. And one day I just kind of like I design like uh flyers, like I do a lot of graphic design. So one day I was just like playing around designing something, and then like I literally designed the cover, the title, and like that's where it started. Like it wasn't even I had the book, I literally like designed the workbook first, and then I just started filling it in of like, oh wait, I want this to be a nine-day journey. Like, I want people to reflect on how they show up in relationships, what their attachment styles are, who are they today, how will they like be in the future, like things like that, and then also like have affirmations that they can give themselves to big up themselves on a regular day, and then also like things that they can pray to God for.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:41

So is there any particular experience that you had that made you think that you needed to do this?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:47

Um well, I think loving without losing yourself, like sometimes you can think about that in a romantic sense. But I'm someone like I think I was mentioning this earlier, like I'm just a very like giving person naturally. So if I like call you a friend, if I call you family, if I call you wait, whatever, it's like I like tend to just like okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna give it all. And through that, like sometimes you kind of are like not like people people don't res like people don't reciprocate in the same way, and not necessarily that's what you should be looking for, but sometimes you find yourself like giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, and then it's like, wait, like my cup, I done poured everything out of my cup, and there was nobody behind me pouring back, you know. So I think, yeah, like in my life, like I think just being naturally a giving person, being naturally like just like a loving person, I've definitely had experiences where I was like, hold on, like I'm a little tired. Like, where's my rejuvenation? You know, and I think um learning that about myself, accepting that about myself, because I think sometimes you can get like mad at yourself, like, dang, like why am I so like, why am I like this? Why am I so nice? Why am I? But it's like it's not you. It's like, how do I show up fully still in love and like being myself, but still maintaining my boundaries with any relationship that I have in my life?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:06

That's what's up. Was that your first digital product? Or oh it's a digital product.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:11

Okay. Um, but it's not my first. My first actually, um, it's a DMV healthcare guide, which I also have linked. Um, where I basically, my mom, she uh came down for Christmas last Christmas and was like really, really sick. And I'm not from here. So I was like, on Christmas, I'm like trying to figure out like where do I take her in the DMV? That's actually a good hospital, you know, it's gonna take care of her, whatever, because I had took her somewhere and it was just a horrible experience, and they misdiagnosed her basically. Um, and so I put a video on TikTok, and people were like, when I say I got probably like over a hundred, I don't even know, it was so many comments. I went through every single last one of those comments. Um, and I made a product where I it's free. Like I basically like put all the hospitals people were recommending, hospitals people were not recommending, um, and where there was like miser views across the DMV. So within DC, Maryland, and then Virginia. And then like I put like something in there around like, you know, when to go to ER versus when to go to urgent care. And yeah, like so that this is like my second digital product. My first one was the DMV

Where to Find London Paris

SPEAKER_00 1:10:14

healthcare guide.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:14

That's cool. Um shout out to all those people that like helped you build.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

Yes, thank God. And I mean, I put on there too, I was like, this is community built. Like, um, like in my product, it says like um this is just a combination of like everybody in the community, yeah, from the community. I am not a healthcare professional. So don't try to be like that aspect. I put I put that overly like this is like just based off of my experience, my experience and others' experiences, do what you want to do. But I think this is a helping, like a helpful starting point. You can follow me on TikTok and Instagram at Love London Paris. That's L O O V London Paris, and on YouTube at Love London. Bye.