How’s Your Heart... Really? | A Lover Girl Heart Check

February is loud about love…
but quiet about the condition of our hearts.

So before we talk about dating, relationships, or “what’s next”, we’re starting here:

How’s your heart…really?

Not the “I’m fine.”
Not the filtered version.
The honest one.

This episode is your permission to slow down, check in, and be real about what you’ve been carrying.

Follow me over at @thelovergirlletters on Instagram and TikTok to stay updated on all the things!

And if you have any questions or want a question answered on a future episode or Q&A, feel free to email them at thelovergirlletters@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Hello friends, I have finally returned for another episode of the Lover Girl Letters podcast, and I know exactly what you're thinking. Girl, where have you been? Because it's March. And you left us in January. And you're absolutely right, I did. I did do that. That's on me. That's my bad. I'm so sorry. I spent all this time hyping up this February m theme month. And I did nothing with it. Okay, that's a lie, actually. I did record a little bit. And I'm gonna play what I recorded for you in this episode. But yeah, I really dropped the ball on that. And just to defend myself a little bit, I didn't go anywhere. I've been here. I've just been busy. A lot of things, a lot of things happened. So February started, right? We were all there for that. February started, right? And I was leading a small group, and I was editing videos and doing all the things, and then next thing you know, it's it's March. And I did nothing with this podcast for a whole month. More than a month, actually, so I apologize. That's on me. I didn't abandon you. I mean I did. But it wasn't intentional. It was not an intentional abandonment. So please forgive me. I hope you can forgive me. We're back. I can't say that we'll be, you know, back on track until I'm done leading this group and I get my schedule in order, but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. So I apologize. But I'm back. Kind of. I'm I'm gonna try to be back and get these episodes out on a regular basis again. So I started. I started a an episode probably the first week of February, and actually I listened to it back yesterday or the day before, and I was like, this is actually really good. And I feel like I would have finished recording that episode, but I had just taken some NyQuil and I started feeling a little loopy, and I was like, I shouldn't finish recording this because I don't know what I don't know what I'm saying at this point. I'm just saying words. And when I listened to it back, I was like, I don't remember saying any of this. I really don't. I don't remember saying any of that stuff. But it's good, you know? I wouldn't have I I wouldn't release it if it wasn't good, if it was just nonsense. But your girl was talking. Don't remember doing it. That Nyquel had me in a chokehold for a little bit, but yes, I apologize for the delay on this podcast. I am still here, still alive, still kicking, still breathing, still moving, still shaking, doing all the things. I've just been busy. So I'm gonna play for y'all. We're gonna go back in time, and I'm gonna play for y'all what I recorded while I was on NyQuil. Yeah. You really can't. I mean, obviously you can't tell. It's just the minute I started feeling just a slightly loopy and sleepy, I was like, we should stop. And I did. So, yes, we're gonna go back in time real quick. I'm gonna play for y'all what I recorded, and then I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna finish out the episode in real time. So, without further ado, here is hyped up on NyQuil Katie from the first week of February. Welcome back to another episode of the Lover Girl Letters podcast. It's February, and you know what that means because I've been talking about it for the last couple of episodes or so, but it is finally time to announce our theme for the month of love. Now, before we talk about love, dating, or relationships this month, I want to ask you a question we don't get asked nearly enough, at least in my personal opinion.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

How's your heart really?

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Like, really, how's your heart doing? Now I don't want the polite answer, the fluffy answer that you would give to a coworker when they ask, how are you doing? I don't want the I'm fine answer or the spiritualized answer. I want the honest one. Because February is loud, very, very loud about romance and quiet about the condition of our hearts. And I don't want us rushing into another season, another crush, or another prayer request without first checking in with ourselves. So today, on this first episode of the February series that I'm trying to do, and by the way, I realize I'm late on this first episode, so just bear with me. We're we're getting it together. We're getting it together. I had a very good conversation with my coach earlier today after church, and he kind of he kind of checked me a little bit. I needed it. I needed it. It was a very polite, very gentle checking, which I appreciate. But also it was like, what's he he kind of asked me something similar. He said, How are you doing? Because I noticed you haven't been coming to the gym lately. And I said, Ooh, Lord. He's just out here clocking me. He said, I noticed you haven't been at the gym in a while. And I was like, You right? I have not. He's like, What's going on? So what did I do? I pulled out my phone and I showed him my Aura Ring app, which was showing that I have not been sleeping well. And that's true. I I really have not been sleeping well, which means it's been hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. It's been hard for me to be able to get to the gym because normally I work out around 6 a.m. So he's like, How you doing? And I had to just be like, I'm not actually doing that well. You know, I feel like sometimes I try to avoid that question and just be like, Yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. But then when he asked me and he kind of he clocked it. He was like, something's something's going on. What's going on? Yeah, I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been getting enough sleep. My body's been feeling it. I haven't been feeling my best. I haven't been eating the best. And so we had just a conversation about it, and you know, it was good. I needed it. I needed that conversation, I needed that check-in. I needed him to clock it. I needed him to clock me for real. Like, girl, get it together respectfully. I needed that. So, yeah, that's kind of what I want this series to be about for February, because I feel like especially for this month, for February, Valentine's Day, especially when you're single, it can feel a little overwhelming. It's sometimes this check-in point of it's February again. Valentine's Day is coming up to you. You have a boyfriend? You got a girlfriend? You got a man? You got a girl? What's going on? So I want this little series here to be a reminder series. I want it to be a check-in series. I want it to be, how are you doing? Really? Like for realsies. No fluff, no sugar coating, just letting it all out there. Telling the Lord exactly how you feel because he can handle our big feelings and our big emotions. So we're slowing all the way down today. All the way. We're not gonna try and fix anything, we're not gonna try and judge anything about ourselves or our season that we're currently in. We're just gonna notice. We're gonna sit back and we're gonna notice some things about our lives, about the season that we're in right now. I think a lot of us are carrying a lot more than we realize. We're carrying disappointment from the prayers that we prayed that didn't get answered the way that we hoped. We're carrying fatigue from being strong for so long and having to handle everything on our own. We're carrying confusion about why love feels so delayed or almost like it missed us. And sometimes we don't even realize how tired our hearts are until we stop moving. So consider this episode a pause, a mirror, a heart check, if you will. And what's funny about this? There's two things that are funny about this, really, and not like funny haha, I mean like funny, ironic. Number one, my birthday was this week. So my birthday was on the 5th, yes. Claps, golf claps around around the room. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, I turned a ripe 33 on Thursday, February 5th. And I am honestly feeling a lot of different things. Yep. 33 is an interesting year. It's my Jesus year, so that's exciting. But I don't know. Birthdays are weird for me, especially now at my big age, because I'm just like, you don't have a boyfriend, you don't have any kids, you're not married. It's not looking like you're gonna get married anytime anytime soon. So what are we doing? So yeah, that's thing number one, birthday week. So yay, love that for me. But yes, feeling a lot of different things right now. Number two, other funny thing that's why this is kind of ironic right now is that my church just started doing our small groups, which we call triplus groups. We started those last week. And the one that I'm in, we are dealing with a lot of the same stuff, similar, similar stuff, but different kind of tone, I guess. But we're dealing with a lot of the chaos that's going on in our lives and like what it's caused by, how we can fix it, not necessarily fix it, but how we can help ourselves to deal with things differently in a way that makes sense, in a way that our brains can make sense of it so that we can kind of get our lives in order. So yeah. It's just this the series is kind of going in line with what's going on with my church too. So I love that. I love that. Now, when I say heart while talking about a heart check, I'm not just talking about feelings. I'm talking about your emotional posture. I'm talking about your hope level, your openness, your trust. Because you can say that you're open to love, but still be emotionally closed off. You can desire connection, but still be guarding yourself out of fear. And you can love God deeply and still be wounded in your heart. And none of that makes you broken, it just makes you human. I also want to make this a little bit practical. So here are some signs that your heart might need a little attention. And be honest with yourself. This is a safe space, safe place. You don't have to write anything down unless you want to. You don't have to share anything out loud with your friends, your family, whatever. You can just answer in your head if you want to, but I want you to think about these for a second. Here are some signs that your heart might be tired or guarded. Number one, you feel numb instead of sad. Two, you joke about being single, but secretly it hurts. Number three, you're exhausted by the idea of dating. Number four, you want love, but you don't trust it. And number five, you've stopped hoping and call it being realistic. Oof. That last one. That last one, yeah. I feel like that's me. I know I'm literally here talking to a microphone, but like sometimes when you've been single for a long time, you kind of lose that hope. And I feel like I'm kind of in a place right now where I'm like, hmm, maybe it's not meant for me. Maybe this love thing is meant for everybody else, but maybe it's not for me. You know? And I had talked in, I think I was one of the Q ⁇ A episodes, I was talking about how my pastor prophesied over our church, specifically our church saying that he believed that there going to be more relationships happening in this year, 2026, that there's gonna be godly relationships that happen this year in our church. And I was like, okay, love that. Yeah, yes, love that, that's great. But I was like, but not for me. Like that that word might be for everybody, but it is probably not for me. And I get stuck in this cycle sometimes, and I I know if you are listening to the Q ⁇ A episode, this is basically me reiterating what I said in that episode, but continue to pray for me, Saints, because it is it's it's rough out here. I feel like it's this constant like up and down, where sometimes like I'm up on a the high, I'm up on a high, and I'm just like, yes, I love being single, it's great. I can do whatever I want, I can go wherever I want. I don't have to check in with nobody, I can eat wherever I want and make my own decisions and blah blah blah blah blah. Which, yes, being single definitely has its perks for sure. But then there's some times where you know guys, I'm so sorry if you're listening to this, but there are some times when I know my period's around the corner and I just am extra emotional. Uh not like I was last night. I'm just being honest here. I'm just being honest. I cried so much last night just thinking maybe it's not meant for me. Maybe this whole love thing, it just missed me. I missed my opportunity and it's gone and it's over, and I'm never gonna find love, and I'm gonna be alone forever. Just spiraling.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Just absolutely spiraling. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

If you can relate to any of those five signs, then your heart might need just a little bit of extra love, a little bit of extra attention there. Sometimes we don't lose hope dramatically. Sometimes we just slowly lower our expectations until disappointment doesn't sting as much.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

But safety and healing are not the same thing. Safety and healing are not the same thing. I feel like for me, being single feels safe because that's what I've known for the last few years.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

It's I was gonna say it's easy. It's easy sometimes. It's not always mentally or emotionally easy, but sometimes being single seems safer than being in a relationship, especially when it's not marriage, you don't jump straight into marriage, you have to date, you have to court whatever you word you want to use to describe it, but you have to get to know the person, and that takes risk because you have to put yourself out there. And so sometimes being single just feels safer because you can just hide. You don't have to put yourself out there as much. You don't have to risk being hurt, you don't have to risk losing a friend, you don't have to risk XYZ, and you can just stay in your little bubble, you can stay in your your safe space. And again, there's nothing wrong with being single. I love being single. I wouldn't have started this podcast if I didn't love being single. The whole point of this podcast, one of the whole points of this podcast, is to remind those of us that are single out there that there's more to life than just waiting around for a partner. There's more to life than waiting and hoping and wishing and praying that the Lord is gonna just drop a man or a woman from the sky and just be like, here you go. And just you sitting there twiddling your thumbs in the meantime, like, no, there's so much more to life than just waiting around. So sometimes I was literally about to say love is worth the risk. That sounds so cheesy. Like that sounds like something out of like a rom-com from the 90s. But I mean, I guess it's true. I guess it's true. But yeah. It's hard, it's hard putting yourself out there. I feel like I'm preaching to the choir here. But that's sometimes that's just the way it goes, and that it's not helpful. That part's not helpful, I'm so sorry, but that's currently my reality, I guess, in the moment. But sometimes I just like to stay in my safe little, my safe little space, you know? It's easier over here, sometimes. Sometimes. But I want to get more onto the healing part so that I'm not as scared to date. That was one of the prayer requests for the singles group that I'm leading at my church. One of the small groups that we have this year is a singles group, and my pastors entrusted me to lead this group of fine young men and women in my church, and I'm honored. Truly I am honored. It's very on brand for me, I guess, you know, with the whole podcast thing and all of that, but I'm very honored. In one of her prayer requests, one of the girls in the class, she did say that she had a fear of dating, and honestly, relatable, relatable content because same. But yeah, I just thought that was so like interesting. And also just very self-aware, too, to know that about yourself, so you're not out here just dating just to date or hurting people in the in the crossfire of you not knowing what you want. So I think that's just a really honest and self-aware response. And just like that, we are back in real time. Present day Katie is coming back at you after that what two-month-old recording? Yeah. That's my bad. And even listening to that back just now, I realized that it's I said March because I did record that intro in March. And it's now April, and it's about to be May. So like honestly, this whole thing It's all it's all bad. It's all bad. I mean, it's good, but it's bad. It's April, and I stopped recording in January, so we already went over that in the intro, so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna keep going over that, but I will say that a lot has happened in the last four months since the last time we actually talked, and I have a huge huge, huge, huge, huge life update for you. And if you're a real one and you know me in real life, then you already know what I'm about to say. I'm not gonna say it right now. This is the next a new episode type of conversation that we're gonna have, but I I have some big news. Huge, massive. And I I'm a little scared to share it with y'all. But not gonna lie. The people that know, they know. And I've kind of talked about it with them and they they know, but y'all. How did we get here? How do we get here? That's all I'm gonna say, but Yeah, it's good to be back. It feels good to be talking into a microphone again. I have missed this. I have missed the podcast, I have missed y'all. And I'm just glad to be back. This is gonna be a relatively short episode because I need to get back into the swing of things and ha what better way to get back to the swing of things and if just I just gotta post. Like I just gotta publish this episode, get it out there, and get back into the swing of things. So thank you for bearing with me. Thank you for checking in on me. Thank you for checking me, clocking me, asking where the episodes are. They're coming, they're coming. And then hopefully soon I can get some guests on too and we can do it up real big. But stay tuned for the next episode because I have some huge live update news for you in the next episode. Whenever I decide to post that, whenever I can find some time to sit and record, because that is gonna be uh Fun conversation. Yes, that's gonna be a fun conversation. But yes, on that note. Actually, I want to pray for y'all really quick. I haven't done I'm a little out of the out of the the the swing of things here, but I do want to pray for y'all really quick before I end this podcast, if that is okay with y'all. So, Lord, I just thank you. I thank you for this podcast. Lord, I thank you that this podcast has not been forgotten. This podcast had not been overlooked. This podcast is exactly where you want it to be. And Lord, I just thank you that the events in my life are unfolding just the way that you want them to. That your will is taking over, not mine. And that even with all the ups and downs of life and life updates and life changes and all the things that I didn't see coming, Lord, that you knew before I did. And I just thank you, Lord, for having your hand on my life. I thank you for everybody under the sound of my voice, anybody who is listening to this podcast, Lord, I just pray that you would cover them. I pray that whatever they are going through, that you would remind them that you are near to them, that you care, that you care about their problems, both big and small. And Lord, I just thank you for anybody who is still listening to this podcast, Lord. I pray that not just for me, but for anybody listening, that you would just help us to find the time to rest, find the time to sit and just rest. Have a Sabbath, a correct, complete Sabbath where we can just rest and focus in on you, Lord. I thank you for the time that we're able to spend together. I thank you for the ability to record again, to find the time to record again, Lord. And I just thank you again for anybody listening. I just pray that you would cover them under your wings, that you would be with them, that you would be near them, near to them, you would be next to them. Lord, I pray that you would give them the confidence and the courage to talk to you about anything that is going on in their lives, because you care about them. I just pray for safety, for protection over anybody listening. And I just pray for pray that you would keep them until the next time that we meet. In Jesus' name I pray.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Amen. And on that note, that is all I have for this episode. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. And stay tuned for the next episode for some major life update news. And until next time, I will see you in the next episode.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Bye y'all.