The Lover Girl is… in Love?

Plot twist… your girl is in a relationship.

But before you spiral or start comparing—this episode is a deep exhale, not a highlight reel.

In today’s letter, I’m opening up about stepping into a relationship while staying grounded in everything God taught me in singleness. This is not a “I figured it out” moment—it’s a “I’m learning in a new way” moment.

To my single girls: you are not behind, forgotten, or doing anything wrong. This space is still for you, and always will be.

We’re growing through every season over here—and this is just the next chapter.

Follow me over at @thelovergirlletters on Instagram and TikTok to stay updated on all the things!

And if you have any questions or want a question answered on a future episode or Q&A, feel free to email them at thelovergirlletters@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Hey Lover Girls and guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Lover Girl Letters podcast. And if you can tell from the title, this is a different kind of episode today. If you listen to the last episode, then you know that today I'm revealing the big news that I briefly mentioned in the last episode. Today's the big day. Today is the day, and I am terrified to share this news. It's good news. It's great news. It's amazing news. But we're gonna get into why I've been wrestling with this later on in the episode. But first of all, little housekeeping, how are y'all? How have you been? Are y'all good? I know we talked about heart checks last week, but I'm just just checking in. Are y'all good? How are we doing? How are we feeling? Last episode made me realize that I need to get back into my journaling era because for a while, not for a while, for years, for years I was a journaling girl. Always journaling. And for some reason lately, I just have not been journaling. And I don't know what that is because I love, love, love journaling. And I just have not done it. So this last episode really reminded me that I need to get back into my journaling bag for real. But yes, I hope y'all are doing well. I hope y'all enjoyed the last episode. It feels so good to be back talking into this microphone again alone in my room. But it's good to be back. I'm glad to be here with y'all. And I feel like now I'm just stalling. I'm literally just stalling, trying to think of everything to talk about except the big news that I need to tell y'all. But I guess it's best if maybe I just rip off the band-aid. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm just we're just gonna rip off the band-aid and we're gonna let it go from there. Alright, y'all ready? I have a boyfriend. Yeah, I have a boyfriend. That's such a weird thing to say. I'm in a relationship. Who would have thought that this day would come? Not me. Definitely not me, because I really planned out my 2026 thinking that I would have my apartment, I would have this new job, and I put having a relationship way on the back burner because I was like, you know what, this isn't even important right now. This is not important. I think I need to focus on looking for an apartment and then looking for a job in the city, so I'm not driving to Timbuktu and back every single day. And then relationship, you know, it'll happen when it happens. I'm not too worried about it. And then bam, February hits, and it's like, oh, a date. Oh. And then a few weeks later, oh, a relationship. Oh, what is happening? And the Lord really, I just feel like sometimes the Lord just laughs at me because here I am planning out my year, the year of our Lord 2026, planning out all the things that I want to do, you know? And then the Lord's just like, okay, but what about what I want to do? And so your girl got the relationship before the apartment and before the job. I did not see this coming. This is truly the plot twist of 2026. Because if you had even told me back in January, even December, because I remember it's funny now to listen back to old podcast episodes because it's like, I think I was doing one of the QA episodes and I was like talking about the prophetic word that my pastor gave over the members of our church talking about relationships. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Healthy relationships, healthy marriages. That's for everybody else, but that's not for me. That's for, you know, all the other people of the church that are listening right now, all the other single people. It's not for me. And look what the Lord has done. It's wild. It's wild. Now, today's episode is not at all like uh how did we meet? Who is he telling the story of how it happened? That's not this episode. I will do that maybe if y'all want to hear that in a different episode, but that's not really what this is about. I'm not planning on doing that kind of content here. But I just kind of want to talk about I don't want to say damage control because that's not what this is. But I would be lying if I didn't say that. This kind of ruins the tour, you know? Like this, this, this is was not in the cards for me. Like when I started this podcast, never in a million years did I think that three months from starting this podcast, I would be in a relationship. So it kind of throws a wrench in things a little bit, but like at the same time, it doesn't, because this doesn't really change anything about this podcast except my relationship status. It doesn't change anything else because I still have the years of experience being single, the 10 10 plus years of singleness and things that I've learned and things that I've gone through to talk about. I have friends who are still single. I have friends who are in relationships, married. Like I have all these people to learn and glean from. So it changes a tiny aspect of it, but it doesn't change everything. You know what I mean? So I guess before we go any further, I want to say this very clearly, very intentionally, from the bottom of my heart. This podcast and the space is still for you. Whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship, whether you're married, whether you're divorced, whatever the case may be, this podcast and the space is still for you. Nothing about this changes that. And it feels sometimes to me, because I feel things very deeply, to me, sometimes it feels like such a big, massive, life, life-changing event. And it kind of is, but at the same time, the space is still for anybody. And I also want to make this very clear. This isn't a I made it out episode. This isn't a do what I did, and you'll get this too kind of episode. This is an episode or a letter from a woman who's walked through singleness with you. And now I'm learning what it looks like to walk with God in love in real time. And it's so like literally, it's so funny and ironic. And God really does have a sense of humor because I started this podcast in December, December 1st, 2025. And I was leading a singles small group in February, starting February 2nd, 2026. And by the last, that was a eight-week, I believe it was eight weeks, we did the small groups for eight weeks. And by that eighth week, I was no longer single. Like the way the way the Lord orchestrated this, this is just it like it's wild to me. It's wild. The timing of everything is just insane. So I just want y'all to I want y'all to know and hear this from the bottom of my heart that I'm still learning and I will continue to be learning. I've never, I'm I haven't made it. This is this is in no way an episode of me telling y'all that I made it. I'm at the top. I'm at the top of this mountain. No, because I don't even know how to be a girlfriend, if I'm being completely honest. Being completely 100% transparent with y'all, I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I don't know how to be in love anymore. I don't know what it looks like to be in a relationship. I don't, I don't, I don't know. I'm learning right now in real time. I'm figuring it out in real time. I'm making mistakes in real time. I'm saying the wrong things in real time. And when you've been single for as long as I have, it feels almost unnatural to be in a relationship. And I I heard this on uh somebody else's podcast. I think it was the Shaping the Culture podcast, and he has an episode with his fiance where they're talking about grieving singleness. And I feel like that can be a very polarizing topic because for people who are honestly just like hating their singleness right now, talking about grieving singleness can feel very, very, I don't know, almost what's the word? Like entitled almost. I don't think entitled is the right word, but like it just feels like mocking almost. Like you're grieving, okay, like okay, you're grieving your singleness, but you're in a relationship. Like, you know, don't talk to me. Don't talk don't talk to me about grieving your singleness when you're in a relationship right now, when that's the one thing that I want, you know? So like I honestly, I can relate to grieving the singleness because in one of the, was it the last episode? It might have been the last episode I did. I was talking about how singleness feels safe. And being in a relationship feels foreign. It's risky. You're you're risking your your heart, you're putting your heart on the line when you're in a relationship. But singleness, because I have, I've been single for so long, it feels so safe. It's what I'm used to. It's comforting, it's comfort. And so the grieving, the singleness part, like, yeah, I can relate to it, but I can understand how that can be just a very polarizing thing to say to people who are just craving a relationship. They're craving somebody to talk to and to hang out with and to spend time with and to, you know, to do all the things with. And honestly, it was a good episode. Like, it was a good episode, really relatable points. So, I mean, obviously finish this episode and then go listen to that one, but like it's a good, it's a good lesson for sure. And going back to wrestling with sharing this news, first of all, let me just say that I am really happy. I don't want this to be just like a oh, I'm in a relationship just to be in a relationship. Like, no. No. I think my mom asked me that when I shared the news with her. She was like, Are you make sure you're like, are you are you just in a relationship to be in a relationship? And I was like, girl, no. If that were the case, I would have been in a relationship a long time ago. But yeah, this is this is not that. This is I'm in a relationship with somebody who is my best friend. And I don't want this to come across as that I'm not happy and grieving my singleness because I want to be single again. That's not what this is. I am very happy. He makes me very happy. He's sweet, he is kind, he's loving, he's gentle, he loves the Lord, and he loves me, and he's my best friend. So I don't want this to come across as being just a oh, woe is me kind of thing, because that's not at all what this is. But I would be lying to you if I said I didn't wrestle with this new season that I'm in. Because I know what it likes to listen to somebody, whether that's an influencer, a content creator, pastor, a preacher, anybody that you look up to, or somebody that you relate to, and then suddenly it's like they've moved into a life that you're still praying for, or they've transitioned into this season of life that you're like, wow, God, when is that gonna be me? When is that gonna be my turn? I know what it feels like to wonder, is that gonna happen for me too? And I never want this podcast to become a place where comparison creeps in, or where you feel left behind. That's the last thing I want. I wrestled with sharing this news because as a woman who's been single for, again, 10 years, I'm honestly terrified. I'm scared of sharing this news with y'all and making this big moment, this big announcement, and then having to update y'all later on down the road, months down the line, and be like a, oh, we broke up, you know, kind of episode. You know, like the YouTubers when they go very public with their relationship, and then, you know, months or years later, they have a new YouTube video where it's like, oh, we broke up. You know, that's not that's not the vibes. That's not what I'm trying to do here. And I thought about just keeping it quiet, but it felt very disingenuous. Is that a word? It felt very, I don't know. I feel like I'm so vulnerable on this podcast with y'all, it didn't feel right for me to keep this from y'all. And the real ones who know me in real life, my my friends in real life who listen to this podcast and know me for real, they already know. They've been known. This is this is not news to them. So to the real ones out there listening to this, I appreciate you for being along for the ride. But for anybody else who does not know me in real life that is listening to this, I just really want you to hear my heart on this. Because I've also wrestled with sharing this news because I don't want to lose listeners now that I'm stepping into a new season. This podcast was built around my singleness and around my life navigating through that. And even though now I'm in a relationship, that doesn't negate the 10 plus years I spent enjoying and hating and wrestling with my singleness. I I still have things to say, I still have lessons to give to y'all, I still have things that I learned and things to teach from the past 10 years of my life. So please, please, please, please, please hear me when I say this. My relationship is not a reward for me getting things right. And your singleness is not a sign that you're doing something wrong. God is not withholding from you, and he didn't suddenly remember me. We're all on different timelines, but we are held by the same faithful God. And another thing that I don't want this to be is now that I am in a relationship, I don't want it to be just like, you know, y'all rolling your eyes at me, like, oh yeah, okay, you can say that now because you're in a relationship type of thing. Like, that's not at all. That's not at all what I want this to be either. So please hear my heart in my wrestling with this. Like, it's scary. It was, it's, it's, I just had to press record on this and just start yapping because I I want to be honest with y'all with this news. And I want y'all to still be along for the ride, and I want y'all still rocking with me and still listening and all of the above because I know what it's like to be on one end of that, you know. I know what it's like to be single and trusting in in the Lord and waiting on the Lord and doing all the right things and still not seeing anything and not seeing the the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. And I was so content in my singleness when all of this happened that I was I was so content that I was planning on other things happening before even getting into a relationship. I was like, yeah, whatever, I'm gonna move. I'm gonna get myself an apartment and I'm gonna get myself a new job. That's what I'm focused on. And now that I'm on this other side where I am in a healthy relationship, and this is like my first actual healthy relationship. That's an episode for another day, but like I have never been in a healthy relationship. There have been aspects of relationships that I've been in that have been healthy, but not like this. This is another level of healthy, a healthy relationship. Like, I don't even have the words right now to convey this to you. I wish I did, and again, that's honestly for another episode, another time, another day. But yeah, I do love it here. I do, and I didn't think I would. I didn't think I would, but I do. So I'm really just yapping, honestly. I I don't have a clear, concise plan for this episode. I just really wanted to make sure I got this out in the open with y'all and I was honest with y'all. But I do want to say that what I'm stepping into now and me being in a relationship now doesn't erase, you know, what I learned in my singleness. If anything, it really just revealed to me how necessary that season was. Like God doesn't waste anything, He wastes nothing. And 10 years is a long time. I was in a relationship last when I was 22 or 23 years old. I'm 33 now. Like dating as a 22 or 23 year old and now dating as a 33 year old, like that's an insane gap. That's insane. Learning how to date again and learning how to be a girlfriend, a partner now as a 33-year-old. Like, there's no there's no book for that. There's there's no how-to guide for that. So that season of my singleness, like it shaped me into who I am right now. And it was necessary. I don't think that I would be where I am right now if I did not go through that process. I mean, obviously, I obviously that yeah, obviously I would not be. But the things that I was able to learn and glean from the time that I had as a single woman really just I needed, I needed that. Because thinking about being a wife or a mother back, you know, in my 20s, I don't think obviously I could have done it, but I think I'm so much better equipped now in my 30s to handle all that the Lord has for me. I've grown so, so, so much in these past few years, especially in the last like two or three, moving away from home and being in a new city and learning how to to to be on my own. It changed me. It made me better, and I'm just grateful. Like moving here to this city has been a blessing, and I'm just I'm thankful. I'm so thankful. My singleness taught me how to sit with myself, how to be present with myself. It was in my singleness that my room, my car, both of these places became a sanctuary, and I was able to just sit with the Lord. I was able to wrestle with the Lord, I was able to pray and cry out to the Lord, and not even about wanting a relationship, it was anything. How much I hated my drive to work every day, how much I wanted a new job, how scared I was at being in a new city. There were so many things that I cried out to the Lord about, and He met me every single time. Like there's something about having all the time to just sit and be in the presence of the Lord. Not to say that I can't do that now because I absolutely can, but it's something about not having any distractions, not having anybody else to like talk to, or I don't know. There's just like there's there's a there's a distinct difference. And that time was so precious, and it still is. It's just Different now. I learned how to let God love me in the quiet. I learned how to build a life that wasn't waiting on someone else to begin. So if you're in a season right now that feels slow or it feels quiet, or even if it just feels lonely, please don't rush past it. There's a version of you being formed right there in that place that your future will depend on. I'm living proof of that. And can I just this feels silly to say out loud, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I am still a lover girl. Through and through lover girl till I die. That didn't start with a relationship, and it doesn't depend on one. Being a lover girl is about how you love. How you show up with softness in a world that tries to harden you. It's about choosing hope even when it feels risky. So, no, this podcast isn't changing. We're just adding new chapters to it. We're still gonna talk about godly dating. We're gonna talk about boundaries, we're gonna talk about what it looks like to keep God at the center. And yes, we're still gonna talk about singleness too. Because the space was never just about a relationship status. It's always, always been about becoming. So to the woman who is still waiting, to the woman who feels lonely, to the woman who feels weary in her well-doing, to the woman or the man. Let me not leave the man out here. To the woman or the man who feels left out or forgotten or overlooked, to the man or woman who feels like they've missed it. They've missed their chance or their opportunity. I want you to know that I see you. I want you to know that your life is not on pause, you're not behind, and your story is not less meaningful because it looks different right now. Love is not just something that you arrive at. It's something that you practice. And that's a word for me too, because I keep saying that I don't know how to be a girlfriend and I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing because I don't. That's a word for me too. So let's keep becoming, let's keep growing, and let's keep letting God write our story in a way that's deeper than just a relationship milestone. And as always, this is your reminder that you are already worthy of the love that you desire. Not someday, not when your relationship status changes, but right now, in this moment, in real time. So that's really all I have for you guys today. This is, I think, a shorter, maybe. I don't really know how long this episode's gonna be, but it feels shorter. But I hope that y'all listened to this to the very end and you didn't just, you know, pause the episode and go find something else to listen to once I said the big news. But if you are still here, I would love to pray for you before I end this episode, if that is okay with y'all. Lord, I just thank you for the person who is listening to this episode right now. You see them. You hear their prayers, you hear their cries, you see every time, every time they cry, every time they weep, every time they cry out to you, you see what they're going through. And Lord, I just pray that you would cover them. I pray that you would remind them that you are near to them, you are near to the brokenhearted. And Lord, I pray for those that maybe are happy and excited and enjoying their singleness right now. I pray that you continue to expand their joy. I thank you for those that are listening that feel lost. Maybe they're in the middle of wanting a relationship, but also enjoying their singleness. I pray for anybody who is at any stage of life, whether they are single, whether they're dating, whether they're engaged, married, divorced, or just somewhere in between. No matter where they are, Lord, I just pray for every person that is listening to this. You see their hearts, you see their desires, you hear their prayers. And Lord, I just pray that you would just continue working miracles in their lives. I pray that you would continue to just do all what only you can do in their life. You don't make mistakes, you don't fail. The one thing that you cannot do is fail. As one of my dear friends said, God can't can't. So I Lord, I just thank you. Thank you for always being there for us. Thank you for continuously hearing our prayers and answering prayers and being there in the thick of it, in the loneliness and the fear and the anxiety. You care about us, the little things and the big things, things that seem so small and minute to us. You care about those things too. So, Lord, I just thank you. I thank you for every big milestone that people are stepping into. It may not be a relationship milestone, but a milestone nonetheless. Lord, I thank you for everything that you're doing in each and every one of our lives. And it's in Jesus' name that I pray. Amen. Amen. All right, y'all. That's that's all I have for y'all. If you're still listening here to the end of this, I appreciate you. I love you. Thank you for being my ride or dies. And yeah, please don't be mad at me. Even if you are, it's okay. I get it. But I hope you still listen to the next episode. And I will leave you with that, and I will see you in the next one. Bye y'all.