What’s in Your Bag? Lessons We Carry and Pass to Gen Z | Her Presence

Andrea Wormley and co-hosts Kelli Moorer and Melissa Benson discuss what they’ve carried from older generations—strong work ethic, stretching a dollar, saving for a rainy day, valuing education, keeping bills low, family closeness, protecting your name, and traditions like Sunday dinner—along with nostalgic memories and sayings. They explore what to teach Gen Z today: face-to-face connection, slowing down, writing letters, researching information, disconnecting from phones, and balancing individuality with modesty and preparing for opportunities, especially since social media is permanent. They also share what they’ve learned from Gen Z, including confidence, inclusivity, advocacy, deep dialogue, multiple paths to success, hustle, and prioritizing rest, travel, and self-care. They close by noting what younger generations can teach elders, such as sharing feelings and being open to new perspectives.

00:00 Welcome Back Podcasters

00:37 What’s In Our Bags

02:01 Work Ethic And Saving

04:20 Family First Lessons

05:48 Funny Sayings And Rules

11:01 Gen X Nostalgia Moments

14:02 Old School Snacks And Fads

18:23 Passing Values To Gen Z

22:33 Modesty And Presentation

27:56 Learning From Gen Z

28:51 Gen Z Deep Dialogue

29:57 Beauty Standards Shift

30:09 Faith and Foundations

31:53 Modeling Prayer at Home

32:44 Unplugging from Phones

33:50 Road Trip Memories

35:19 Latchkey Lessons

37:31 Teaching Adult Skills

40:15 Cursive and Lost Arts

41:04 Robots and Privacy Fears

42:50 Rest Travel Self Care

46:51 Advocacy and Big Questions

50:52 What We Teach Elders

55:51 Closing Thanks and Subscribe

Transcript

0:00

I was in the military and I was we were all in the barracks and we were cooking and I'm making scrambled eggs. And what do I put in my scrambled eggs? I put milk in it and I'm just scrambling it up. And they're like, you put milk in your scrambled eggs? I said, yeah, that's how we make them. No, that was because we were stretching it so that we could feed more. But one thing that always stuck with me is your name is more valuable than gold. Your name is everything. So when you go out of this house, you represent everything. With this name, don't forget your name. Keep a porter in your pocket. So if you ever get lost, or you might go make curfew, you put that porter in that um that telephone booth and you give us a call. You don't dress for the position you have, you dress for the position that you design. I am Andrea Wormley. I have my co-host Kelly Moore, my co-host Melissa Benson. Um, and so again, we are just uh so glad that you're with us. Please make sure that you subscribe to YouTube. Um, make sure that you share and like. We are on the major podcast platforms and social media platforms. Um, so make sure that you go and look for us. Her presence, one word. So today we are going to talk about what we have in our bags because this whole season we've talked we're talking about the bags we carry. So, what we have in our bags that we can use to teach the next generation, or our kids, actually. Now, um our kids, all of our kids are like uh Gen Z, I believe. Yeah, Gen Z. Um, and I just learned that I'm Gen X. Okay. But we were um actually uh talking about this just a little bit before we started to um record, and um one of my co-hosts um was talking about how you know the things that are that is in our bags, we actually got from the generations before us, right? Um, so what are some of those things that you guys carry that you learned? That you've learned um that you are utilizing in even today. I I can think of some funny things, but what are some things that you've learned or that you catch yourself doing and you're like okay, that's because you know I got that from my dad or my grandma. Anybody want to talk about what are some things that you do? So I know with those those baby boomers, they had a strong work ethic. They worked hard. And and and they knew, oh sorry, and then they knew how to stretch a dollar. I mean, putting things away for a rainy day. That I mean, that's just something in a uh story. Learning how to make eggs, scrambled eggs. Let me just say this. Uh I was in the military and I was we were all in the barracks and we were cooking, and I'm making scrambled eggs. And what do I put in my scrambled eggs? I put milk in it, and I'm just scrambling it up. And they're like, You put milk in your scrambled eggs? I said, Yeah, that's how we make them. No, that was because we were stretching it so that we could feed more. So things that they have taught us and those lessons were all designed because they were trying to make it and they were trying to have enough for everybody and have enough for a rainy day. So learning those values and those lessons of always having enough and always having something for a rainy day, uh saving up and stocking and storing was just something that I took. It's in my bag. It's in your bag. Yeah, mine was the work ethic and the importance of school. You know, that's kind of where we sometimes even struggle with with this generation today is because there's so many different avenues of success, you know. Um, but we were taught it's education, you know. So you go to your primary, your middle, and then you, of course, you um um graduate from high school and go on to college. And so that became what you're supposed to do. And um I had to kind of get out of that a little bit um to find my own course of action, but also it's that work ethic, you know. Um, their generation or parents' generation, they stayed at a job for 20, 30, 40 years, you know, and so that's what I thought growing up that that's what I was supposed to do as well. For me, um what I was taught was family is everything. Um matter what, even if there is misunderstandings and you always um come back together, um there um there may be somebody may have fell out or something like that, but you there's always an apology or there's always an olive branch and and um and doing that, you know. Also, something funny is uh you talked about stretching the dollar. Now I learned how to make sure that every closet is closed. Um, and I don't think I realized why that's a problem, that's a pet peeve of mine. Like, why is that closet open? Why is the closet door open? Close the closet door. But then I started thinking about it. My dad was like, we are not heating up or cooling off space the closet, we're not doing that, you know. So just um, and when you leave the house, turn everything off. That's yes. What yes, or you leave a room, turn off the light. Turn the light off. Who is in the room? Why why are all the lights on in the house, you know? Yeah. So just you know, that kind of stuff to keep the keep the bills down. Um, so yeah. What were some of the funny sayings that that your parents used to say? Um, some tea was a something. It doesn't have to be funny, just something. Oh, well, it wasn't necessarily funny, but she would, okay, so waking up early in the morning is what you're supposed to do. Hey, right. That's what I'm learned. I don't understand. And now I know I used to do it, but now I understand, and I catch myself saying this to my kids. So you're not gonna just sleep all day. Mom, it's just 9 a.m. You're not gonna sleep all day. You can be in the bed all day. No, it's time to get up. You need to be up and at them, up and at them. Um, my great-grandmother used to be in like out in the garden. You talk about storing up, but she would be out in the garden and doing all of her stuff and packing up and you know, peas and this, that, and the other, and just done all of that, and then came back in. We're still in the bed, and she would be in there like talking loud, talking about something like some tea. Y'all, it'd be like really 7 or 8 a.m. in the morning. Oh, yeah. And we're just like, what? So just it the time and not letting the day get away from you. Um, that's what's been taught to me also. Um, and just making sure that face-to-face interaction is really important, looking at people. Um I remember when my aunt, um, my my my people would come um over to our house, and my aunt would run, she would be so excited to see everybody, and she would just come and squeeze everybody off. Of course, she was she was squeezing us. It was probably because we was little, because that's not you know that's how it goes. Like, you know, you when I started having kids, you know, my folks came and they trying to see the kids. Right, right, right. So, you know, then I was a child, so she would come through and squeeze and hug us or whatever. Um, but that's what um, you know, I learned to just love on family and making sure that you are watchful um uh with uh you know bills and making sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I I think for me it as you're talking and you're I can see the embracing and the hugs and because that's what our home was. It was everybody came to that house first Sunday, the door was always open, and it was food galore, there was always, and I and I always be thinking like, how what how'd I even afford to feed a whole like community? Like, really, but they made it work, and they and family was everything, but one thing that always stuck with me is your name is more valuable than gold, your name is everything. So when you go out of this house, you represent everything with this name. Don't forget your name. So that was always something that stuck with me. For me, it was Sunday Sundays, you know. You went to church and then you came together and had dinner. That was the one, you know, if we didn't sit together, that was that one sun, that one day of the week where we actually sat down together, you know, and just enjoyed one another. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Um you're talking about coming together and eating on Sunday, um, but just any time the family was together, we were gonna have a feast. Oh, yeah. And you're just gonna eat and eat. Might not be a good thing, but yeah, whatever. That's what I have. I remember uh and great desserts. I remember talking to someone um about then when I was struggling with weight, um, and I was seeing a I I I can't remember if it's a I I believe it was a nutritionist. Um either a nutritionist or a therapist. I don't know. So uh she was saying, she asked me, she said, so do you eat when you're sad? Yeah, I eat but I'm happy too. That's what my family does. Come together, we excited. That's where we gotta eat. And you know, I'm sad. Well, let's well, we gotta eat. You know, but I think from my from the older generations, that's what um yeah, we this is and just the coming together is the feel good. Not necessarily the food, right? Right, but the coming together is the feel good. Yeah. If I say to y'all right now, hey y'all, we're having a celebration on such and such day, and we want you to come, you'll be like, all right. Oh yeah. We're gonna have a, you know, we're gonna have a barbecue, you know. Okay. You always think, you already think, okay, what I'm gonna wear, how hot is it gonna be, you know. Um, oh, that's gonna be fun. Oh, y'all, we're gonna go way back. We're gonna bring the double dutch. Speaking of that, see, see, so now that's our generation. Double dutch. No, no, but I was climbing trees. Uh I wasn't double trees. I did double dutch. Oh my gosh, it's our generation. Yeah, it is. Yeah, double dutch. Um and that they had we had those those ropes. Yeah, and you had to have the neck motion, yes, yes, because you helped the person right, you know. Okay, she the person like this, yeah, jump in, you know, and we had the songs, or I don't know what they were called, cadence. We had the songs, we had the McDonald's songs, didn't we? Every kind of song that you could think of. Big Mac, no, it was Big Mac. It was Burger King. Is that Burger King? I'd be Big Mac is Burger King. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Big Mac, filet of fish, over pound of French fries. I see Coke, Big Shakespeare, Sundays, and apple pie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is our generation. What what funny sayings did your parents say to you? Oh, so many. Let's see. Mine was don't take wooden nickels. No, what is it? Yeah, don't take, don't, don't listen to everything you hear. Okay. Keep a quarter in your pocket. So if you ever get lost or you're not gonna make curfew, you put that quarter in that um that telephone booth and you give us a call. Oh wow. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow. I don't know about my dad was come home when the lights, when the lights come out, come home for the whistle. The whistle. Oh, you better be home. That's for sure. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. Because you're outside playing. That was our generation. We can play today. Letting A C out. So the decision was definitely not to be inside. Didn't that mean I was staying outside some fresh air? Yeah. Drink it from the water hose. That's right. Okay. Oh my god. Sprinklers. Yeah. Oh my oh, the sprinklers. Sprinklers for the sprinklers. Okay, that was more than words. Now that's just actions. Yeah. Those are good. Oh, yeah. The changes, yeah. On your body. Going to the park. Yes. The park was going like going to an amusement. Girl mall. And it's all day long. Yeah. On the corner store. Yeah. Once again. No, no. When it comes in our neighborhood. Even love the cool. Yeah. Now, did y'all have people in the neighborhood who sold the little um push-up? What was it? Yeah, but those were good. Those were good. Yeah. The candy store. Uh, penny candy. Penny candy. Oh my god. Did you did you used to put you used to put peppermint in a pickle? Oh yeah. No. Yeah. Brilliant? No. It might be a seller thing. But you get your pickle and the pickle. You get a big pickle. Sour and sweet. And you put the candy cane in and pepperminty. And it's sweet. I've heard about it. It's just like these kids, now they have a whole other bag of hot chits. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, oh, Boston, Boston. Baked beans. Lemon drums. Lemon head. Lemon head. I know them, but I didn't eat that. Oh, that's so sick. Oh, I'm sorry. Just like well, I like chocolate. I wasn't chocolate. I already told you. Now, letters. Yes, yes. Okay. So wait. So I'm thinking about now later and I'm thinking about all the candies and stuff like that. When y'all remember the parachute pants? Oh, yeah, all your stuff. You don't suppose to be at school with all the candy. But you get all your pockets. Yes, for everything. Look, you spend candy. So your your friends would bring candy and they would sell it to you so you spend all your lunch money on candy. Okay. Young entrepreneurs, but right, learn it early. Yes. Okay. Curls. Anyone learn a curl? Jerry Curl? Carefree curls. Yeah, no. Right, right. Yeah. I didn't have a Jerry. I didn't have Jerry Curry. I didn't have a Jerry Curry. It was the yellow and the red. The carefree. It was Jerry Curl. There's a carefree curl. Isn't it? Was it wet? It was better. Yeah, girl, they're all wet. They are all wet. Mine ended up being blonde. I mean she was supposed to be a sandy brown and left it in too long. And so no, that's how you that's how you got that red hair. And then he was in the sun too. Yeah, yeah. And so um, yeah. And but that became a it became a fad. Yeah. To have that. And I don't know how my hair didn't fall out. My mama didn't let me wear no curls, no dairy curls. Mess up my furniture. Really? I mean, that was that was a mess. Okay, talking about furniture. Okay. Oh the plumbing. Oh well. My goodness. The plastic. Yeah. Listen, let me tell you about deliverance. When you could, when we got to a place where we could take the plastic off the furniture. Oh. That was delivered. Listen, because you know the plastic was on there because you were trying to save the fragrance. Don't mess it up. That's probably why I got great grandma's couch in the front. Oh, and it has a nice look. Come on now. It has remained. Yeah. And even now I'm like, don't you? That's probably something I don't you sit on that couch. Y'all sit over here. Or don't sit on that in the living room. Oh, don't I sit on it? Sit in the living room. Oh that's comfortable. Christmas Eve. But you know, in my heart today, I still want a living room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you because you have the D. You had the D and the living room and the dining room. Yeah. And the kitchen. Those are the formal areas. Yes, yes. The formals. And then because the homes that we have now are open. Yeah. But back then we had rooms. Yeah, just the industry. And I miss that. I love that design. I still love that design. Yeah. So what do you guys think that we could teach our kids? Yeah. What do you what do you think? What do we have in our bags that we've taken on? All these special things that we just talked about and laughed about. What about that can we teach our kids? We mentioned it before, the importance of family. That because they live in this world of social media, everybody's constantly on their phones. Um, you walk and nobody's communicating, their heads are all on the phone. Not forgetting that we do need each other. We need each other. We are, as humans, we are designed for connection. So not forgetting that family is everything. Love your family and connect. Yeah is so important. Don't lose that. Right. So that's the one thing I think that we can constantly impart in them and those meals, sitting together and actually eating together, not forgetting that. Yeah, it's the human touch and slowing down. Yeah. You know, um, we didn't have cell phones, we didn't have computers. Yeah, Dewey Decimal Systems. Yeah, Dewey Decimal Systems. We had the uh the phone on the wall with the extremely long board. You know, these kids don't know anything about that, you know, and so they're living in such a fast-paced world that it can eat you up. It can eat you up. And so that's one thing that, you know, and don't be taken by everything you see because or here or here, because it's nine times out of ten, it's not realistic. Yes. But just slow down and just um enjoy your family, enjoy your friends. That's really and I I was watching TV yesterday that a lot of places now are preventing you from using your cell phones and restaurants because they want you to enjoy your time with who you're with or the atmosphere, or just slow down. Right. Right. So that's becoming um wow. Um, yeah, what you guys are saying, the importance of I think what We could teach them is the importance of face-to-face interaction, physically, face-to-face interaction, um, and touch, like the the the soft touch. Um writing a letter. Um you know, I was talking to my son, and there was, you know, when he was in high school and you know, young girls or whatever that he uh liked, you know. And I would say, you know what you could do that probably nobody else is doing is write her a letter. And she would probably just like, oh, you know, or you know, instead of saying, hit me up on the gram, ask her for her phone number. You know, because even now, I I mean, I I guess maybe they have they get the phone number, but it's usually let me find you what's your hand or what's your what is it called? The handle or whatever. Um teaching them how to do good research. So you said um don't listen, don't believe everything you hear. Don't believe, like you'll be on social media, TikTok and stuff, and it's stuff that be coming out, and it's just like, what? You know, and then the conversations that you have with your um and I uh we have Gen Z's, right? With your Gen Z. Um, and they and the things that they're talking about, and sometimes I'm like, what? Who where did you hear that? You know, you really need to research that, you know, in a legitimate, you know. Right. Um, because I was saying, do it decimal system, where we had when we had to do research, you had to go to the library and you had to now you get to do Google and you can use calculators, everything, right, right, everything, right? Modesty too is another one. Because I think we're losing that. Yeah. Yeah. In this generation. What do you mean by modesty? Like just not being so um provocative, you know, uh eye-catching, um, you know, s surprise or stunt you or shock you. Everything is a shock value right now, and we keep pushing that limit. Let's unpack that for a minute. I I want to talk about that for a minute. Um why is it important? Because I feel like that's a question that would come from our G C uh, our generation Z. Why is that important, mom? Why is that important uh for me to be modest or not to be so provocative? Let's let's talk. And then even for not just our girls, but our our sons, like, you know, the way that you're dressed and the way that you present is important. Well, why is that important? You know, the way that you have your hair and that's important, you know, and I feel like that is something that we try to teach. Um, but I I don't know about y'all, but every once in a while I get a get like kind of a pushback. But why is that important? Why would we want to tell them that? I get that pushback too. Um like I said, I grew up in a very modest home. You there was a certain way you left the home, there was a certain way you presented yourself, and my kids they're they're they're like totally different. I'm like, Mom, no one cares. I'm like, but you should care. I want you to care about how you present. But they have a different thought process on I and they believe that's a part of them being authentic, individuality, yeah. And I and for me, so we we go through this. Mom is gonna spend time getting dressed, and because that's just how I am, and they're like, we're just ready to go. And so we go back and forth with that, like it's um because this is important to me, because this is how I was raised, it's important to me. For you guys, it's not as important because you say accept me the way that I am. I'm saying accept me the way that I am, but it's important to me that I present a certain way. So it is the different uh trends in our society um that have changed our approach and how we face the world. Yeah. And you know, now we're living in a time where it's social media, nothing, nothing is deleted, nothing is erased. And so you may be at this phase right now, but 10, 15, 20, 30 years down the line, you may not want to see what you used to wear and look like back then. Nothing wrong with it. But you know, as you are getting older and more opportunities are coming your way, you also want to make sure that you're prepared for those and not have what you did in the past. Yeah. Opportunities. Like I said, I was trying to think like, why is it important for me to say that, you know, because I understand, and I feel like for me, I respect the fact that you want to be an individual. And I want you to be an individual. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it. It's encouraged. But on the day, one of the things I remember we talked about, like, you know, it um, do you dress? I forgot what we were talking about, but I uh and the question came to me, and I was like, you know, I dress according to what I need to do that day, right? So what is it that you're going after today? If if you're going after just hanging with your buddies and this and the other, and we just chilling, I get that. But are you going to an interview today? Um, okay. Or are you going to a place where you may meet someone that is going to take you into the next what is it that you want to do? Right. And that's why this is important. Level up. Maybe not as modest as we were, but there is a type of modesty that um may be important to explore, right? Uh based on what you're you're trying to do. Yeah. And I like what you said. You said level up. I've always been the one, it's the level up. I don't care if I'm going for the role as the dishwasher. My level up is I'm dressing to be the business owner. Exactly. It's always a level up, and that's just how I was raised. You don't dress for the position you have, you dress for the position that you desire. Exactly. So it's always an opportunity. Everything you look at is an opportunity. Right. Where can this take me? Right. And and I don't knock what how and I say my children, I don't knock it. I I love their individuality. I love that you want to they're brave. Yeah, they are. I've been looking at so when we say yes, what can we teach them? But there's so much we can glean from them. Oh my goodness. The competent, the confidence, the you know acceptance, yes, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. So just gleaning that from them is we there's so much, and that's why we can compliment each other. Right. And there's a fine middle ground that we all win, you know. Right. I I um it's it is so ironic to me how in our minds, when we per we perceive this digital world as being disconnected, but I find that my our Gen Z are very collective, though. They're very inclusive. Inclusive. They are um, you know accepting accepting of each other, yeah, you know, yeah, defining what things look like now, and don't mind having a whole conversation, deep conversation with you, and it's not afraid, right? You know, it will okay, and it's a very intelligent conversation, and so why do you feel that way? You know, well, what's wrong with that? And they got you better be ready for it. What's wrong with it? Exactly. Sometimes I'm I feel like I'm in a debate. All right, debate number one. Are you ready? And it's funny how you got up because that's how the spirit's like, let's go. Yeah, excuse me. And did you say, well, it's you know, you know, like really narrow-minded of you. Like, excuse me. I'm narrow-minded. I thought I was pretty open. I love it though. You know, this is a good generation that you can have really good dialogue with. And I've learned so much. I have learned so much. The things that I'm just closed-minded about, um, you know, has opened my horizons, you know, body imagery, you know, what is beauty? You know, what's hair beauty? You know, it's the whole these, yes, this, these, these young people. They're keeping us young. They're keeping us young. But I will say this I would like for them to be uh more spiritually grounded because they learn so they have knowledge at their fingertips. Yeah. And at the click, they're learning all these things, but don't forget your foundation. Yeah. Yeah. And be true to that foundation as in, I don't care what I learned, this is truth and it's real. So that that's something that I would suggest and want to impart. Yeah. Don't forget your foundation. I I do believe, like when we think about how we learned things from um our parents and grandparents, it wasn't just what they said, but it's what they did. Right. And I know that that to be true even with our Gen Z. So it may not necessarily look, but that's what I want. You know, this course is what I want. Um, but then there are these little small, we talked in a um another episode, we talked about the small wins. But then when we hear our Gen Z say stuff and you're like, okay, right, right. Um they're doing it in their individual way. Right. Right. And I know for me, you you always say that you say take, you know, pause. You know, for me, I pa I try to pause and see the whole thing, right? Um, yeah, so I because of that, because of what you said, I know for me, I am always trying, I can show you better than I can tell you. I I try to do that because because a whole con if we start a conversation about something, it's gonna go about 10 different places. Okay. Before we, you know, we're trying to stay here. So I can just show you better than I can tell you in this thing right here, right? Right. Like going up to the kids' rooms and just praying over their rooms or praying over them before they leave, or just giving them a call and saying, What are you doing? Can I pray for you? And I feel like those things, because they are good ground. They they are good ground. I don't care what it looks like, they're good ground, right? And so when you do that, it's a seed that is being put into very fertile ground because they are they are sponges because they are in this digital thing. Yeah. Um I I think also one of the things that I do want to teach, and you said something about the restaurants. I and that's something that I think as as a parental unit is to teach them how to disconnect from the digital world. Um how to bring balance and getting answers from individuals, you know. Um and how and I wonder because we have because you said we've learned so much from them, um, how hard would that be to do that, to, to disconnect, you know. Um it's being intentional about it, right? It's just being intentional. Like you mentioned, many of the restaurants are requiring you not to use your phone. It's just unplugging. Like we're gonna, when we come together for dinner, y'all were unplugging. Nobody. We did a road trip. And in this you unplugged the whole entire road trip. In the van, it was a sometimes plug in. But it had none of the uh charging the van. Yeah, not the charging features. So we had to commit to a real road trip where we to discuss and played old road scoot games, road trip games when you're forced. Yeah, and they will remember that. Bel to bond, the memory bond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And great memories, great memories for that memory box. I think that's what we can teach. We I want to teach us those type of memories where this didn't cost anything. We didn't, we it wasn't a digital thing, it was a face-to-face. Face to face. And and now we're gonna say, remember when we was in the van? And we've played. And they will. So I just said saying this, you know. Yeah. Yeah. That was so funny. You know, when you think about those kind of things, it's like when you talk about memories or remembering something, or you're laughing, even when my kids are, they're talking about stuff that was happening face to face. Right. They're not talking like, do you remember when we were all in the phone and then this came up, and then on your phone, you don't even know. Right? Yeah, usually your memory, your fondest memories are with your family. Yes, you know. Um, yeah. How to handle I okay, so we relatch key kids. Well, I was, I don't know about that. I was for sure. And so you went home. Mm-hmm. You have siblings. Oh, I've got there's seven of us. Okay, so everybody had to go home, and there were probably things y'all had to do. I know my my husband, oh, yeah, it was a bunch of them. They hey, there's some things you had to do when you when at a time by the time mom and them get home, don't play. Do not play in here. And we heard the car, we knew, we knew turn that TV off and get them books open. Listen, get the you everything better be straight off the floor. Nothing for me, I would hear the garage door come up. Oh my gosh. Can I get this stuff together? It was a fair. Oh my goodness. Yeah, yeah. And um, when I was in elementary school, I was a latch key kid. And so I was the only child for 12 years. So during that time, I was really the by myself. Um, and so I would come home by myself. And I think one of the things that I I problem solved a lot. Um, that might be also like we um on the other another episode we had, we talked about like how we celebrate, and I was talking about how sometimes I'll see a thing, but I don't say it. And I feel like because I was the only child, I not already said it, I said it to myself, you know. Said it to myself, but she's beautiful, you know, but she might want to hear that. Oh, that's probably true. You know, there's like learning those things, like wow, you know. So I was the only child and I had to problem solve. If something went down, you know, I had to problem solve. We didn't have cell phones to call us and do that, but you did have the landline, right? Right. But if you use the landline, you better use it for the right thing. It wasn't just for calling me away. You can't find what baloney. Nobody said randomly calling. Calling me. Yes, so I feel like you know, how to handle one of the things that I know that I do try to stand back and watch um is handling uh the challenges individually. How to handle you do it, see what happens. Yeah, yeah, you know. Um I I'll show you. I'll show you two or three times, but I'm letting you know that you're gonna have to do this yourself. You know. Like um, health. One of the things that my my son and I, um, you know, he is at an age where I can't call in for him now because he's at an age. So now we're crossing the bridge of, you know, health care. Like, okay, but when you call, you have to do this, and this is what you have to say, and you know, and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those can't that was kind of hard to let go. Yeah. Oh, yes, that was hard to let go. Yes. Um, I remember telling you this made me laugh because that's my about my daughter. She's like, but I don't want to be in the toll and call. I'm like, you got to call yourself, yeah, make your own appointment. Yeah, you can't do it for me. No, ma'am. Go ahead. And she's like, I was like, you did it, yeah. Yeah. Small celebration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Small wins, small wins. You celebrate, celebrate. You did it, go out to eat. Small wins. Then, like, um call, you know, uh a traffic ticket. Oh, yes. You need to go and take care of this. There is something called a warrant. You need to go make sure that you take care of that. Yeah, uh, did you and I might, you know, of course, in your your guiding and stuff. Uh did you? Yes. I thought you told me, you better go call. I'm not calling. You better go call. Too funny. Or the new job, you know, or the job, and then and that's a big deal, but then how are you getting paid? Okay, so when you get there, did you clock in? Okay, you clocked out. Okay, are you making sure that you're being getting paid for all your hours? Honey, how how often do you get paid? Yeah, I don't know. What? How much are you getting paid in an hour? What's your money? What's your mate? I don't know. What? You just working. You just whatever happens. I'm smiling. You say so. Man, what else could we what? So you mentioned some things that we could uh oh, one other thing I want to uh is writing. There's a lost uh yes uh art of uh we call it handwriting, but it's cursive. Cursive, yes, cursive. That's not even in the curriculum school systems anymore. Um, but that is a lost art. And listen, we've had male come back to our house because apparently whoever was at the post office could not read cursive writing. What? That's like what? Um, you know, anyway, so what can you mention some stuff? What could we learn from the we've all kind of here in the it says some things, so what could we learn from them? So, okay, I'm gonna say this. This may not, well, I don't know how this is gonna land, but so it's funny because our kid, Gen Z is like the digital world and you know, everything automated, everything AI, everything da-da-da-da. But when it comes down to these robots, I don't know about y'all kids, but my kids know ma'am. But you? Oh yeah, I would, I would probably, I don't know. I don't I think I'm more intrigued than anything. I'm more like, what? It does what? So it'll help me clean, it'll do this. Yeah, I can take one of them. How much is it? Only one time, and I get like you're just it's a it's a lifetime guarantee, you know, you know, and the whole time my kids are like, no, you better not have that in our house, you know. Um, and I always think that it's so funny because of it, it's their generation, right? But of course, they're going off of to a certain degree, right? You know that's privacy. Yeah. That robot's taking pictures, and behind your back, he's posting on social media. Well, this is good. We screamed. And the thing said, Can we help you? Yes, Kelly. Yes, yes, Kelly. But even then, but when I bring that up though, even when I bring that up, they're still like, yeah, and I don't like that either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So thoughts. What could we learn from the kids? I have learned from mine too, because I adapted from my parents. That's work ethic. Work, work, work, work, work. I've learned from my kids. They believe in R and R, rest and relaxation. You hear me? They believe in trips. They believe in traveling. They believe in self-care. The days off. I never forget my son who teaches. He was off for spring break and he was like, I said, Oh, when you go back, you ready for Monday? Oh no, I took another week. You want to take a week from my whole thing like mom, I have the time. I'm taking my time. Wait a minute. Learning from them the art of really that balance between work and play. They have they have that down. They have it down. So yeah. And chill. Yes. Chill. Nothing, you know, just chill. And also is that there are so many different paths. Yes. And it's okay. However, I get there. Yes. Mountain down through the valley, but you got there. So it's not just one way to get there, not a time period, not a time frame. It's the journey and how I got there. Yes. It's the most important. And I got there. So yeah, I've had to kind of slow my roll down a little bit on that. The journey. Yeah. Um. And how it's supposed to look. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've learned that the most of the things that that bother me or like what? I've learned that, oh, I'm, I was just like that. Like if I call my dad and say, such and such was doing this and this and this and and this, and then he just cracking up. You did the same thing, you know. That's how I handle the lady this, you know. Just learning that and then try and then and realizing that that's what it is, and then just going back and understanding that they're gonna be okay. Because I'm okay. It's it's gonna be okay. It really is gonna be okay. So I've and and that has helped me to just kind of watch and not have to jump the gun and say stuff, right? Um, which y'all said about just the relaxation and there's so many. Now listen, biblically, you should have many streams of income. When I say these kids got many streams, listen, if they got something they gotta do this weekend, they gonna get it. They gonna get it. They're gonna get it. Yeah. And you know, uh, and just learning that we did have a hustle, but they have their own hustle. They do, for sure. Yeah, they have their own hustle. Yeah. And how to say things or how to look at the world and different people differently. Um, it is really not about your lifestyle as much as it is about the relationship. Right. Uh-huh. And I really have learned that from um my kids, you know, because I can see a person and say, wow, you know, I never would have thought that those two people would be together or whatever. But then when you get to know them, like, yeah, it makes sense. I can see the relationship. Yeah. So yeah. And they're, I mean, we had a form of advocacy, but they social justice and advocacy is so different for them. And I love seeing it in action. I really do. And it prompts me to want to do more. Right. Although we saw, you know, our heroes of social justice and action, they are they seem more community social justice action. We're all doing this for everybody, kind of thing. Right. Yeah. They and it's in and I feel like because of that, they think the thing through. Like if you're doing that to this person, yes, and they're different from what is considered the norm, and even norm. Yeah. That means that you'll come around and do that to me. Uh-huh. Yeah. The deep conversations, and I think I have learned how to be ready. How to uh not saying that I was, but not to shrink shrink from uh a conversation or a question. Um, you know, uh when in ministry, for example, uh when those hard questions come, I think that we've learned, I've learned from my kids how to how to just how to navigate that. Um when a when a when a crazy question comes that maybe years ago, it, you know, I I'm not gonna talk about that. You know, go high. You just need to, because I say it so, you know, which was our generation, our parents, like so. Yes, don't toss back for having a thought or opinion. We were able to we were able to question, but you had to question in a respectful way. Right. And you had to watch, you had to know when it was the best time top this question. You know. Um, and and and then our you know, our Gen Z, they and even our millennials, they are not just gonna question, they're gonna have a deep conversation about it and an opinion. Oh, absolutely. You know, and I'm gonna tell you why I don't agree with you. Exactly. You know, exactly. Very uh so it helps, I think that has helped me a lot to be a rational, a rational thinker. Rational thinker, not just going with this is what we've always done. Right, this is how it's always been. Yes. Well, let's think about that for a minute. Why is that? Right. And how does that make sense? And is it beneficial right now? Yeah, and this generation questions it you know and tears it up sometimes and creates a new and for me, I've learned to listen, to really listen to what they're saying. And many times, like you said, some of the things we did, it didn't make sense. It did not, it was traditional, right? We just did it that way. Right. So listening to them and their seeing their broader perspective has changed my thought process tremendously. I think it gives us ex uh a permission. I've learned to be okay with kicking over the golden calf, so to speak. Um there are things that we've done that because that's the only way that things could be explained, you know what I mean? Right, right, right, you know. Um so is this okay, like you said, and and um and being okay with let's talk about this later, or you know, we in or being okay with changing my mind. Yeah, right, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, we are almost out of time. Any takeaways from you know, from this? Any takeaways? Anything that, you know what? What could we have taught our our parents? Could our teaching, trying to teach our parents even now? Uh-huh. Yes, yes. Um, maybe grandma and granddad, maybe they've passed on, but if they were still living, what could you just I had a thought. Could teach them, uh, teach them or glean from y'all. I'm gonna tell you this. My great-grandmother, when my husband and I first got our got our first house, I believe it was $150,000, like $150,000 home. Um, and so my uh my people live in the country of Arkansas and in the Delta. And when I told my great grandmother that we just got a house and this and the other, you know, and and we were in Atlanta, and she's like, you know, I don't know why y'all live in the city. The city is just too expensive, you know, and this that and the other. You know, well, I just wanted to tell you you got a house. Well, how much was it? You know, that's it. 150,000. She just got quiet. Oh Lord. Like when I say, I was like, hello. And that's it. I call her Lily May. Grandma Lily May? And then she said, Well, that's too much. And she just went like she probably, I mean, I felt like it was just she probably felt like I couldn't have heard her correctly. Right. Right. I can't even recognize what just came out of her mouth. Right. You know? It's like a million dollars. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. What? And I remember telling my grandfather when Obama was running, I said, he's gonna win. And he said, Ain't he gonna win? He ain't gonna win. Ain't nobody ready for that. And you know, was he around to be able to see that? Oh, yes, oh nice, nice, good, nice. When we came back to the house, my granddaddy's house. I was like, I told you he was gonna win. He said, Well, well, well, yeah, you know, that was disrespectful. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have said it to be it. It's like I told you, so that's basically what I was saying. I told you so, you know. But but what could we before, you know, we maybe got two more minutes. What could we teach that generation, like the generations before us? Yeah. I know, and I, my mom and we, we have such a good relationship that we can talk about this kind of stuff. Um, and we've always some things that my siblings and I are teaching my mother is it's okay to really share and talk because they came from a generation where you did not share things. If you had medical conditions, you don't share those things. You just kept those things to themselves and people don't know. And so we are getting to the point now she she don't have a problem calling you and letting you know. We'd be like, I'm like, come on, yes, tell me. So I I love I love it where I'm seeing that some of our generation and some of my kids' generation is now bleeding over into my mom. And I that opportunity to share has just been overwhelmingly rewarding to see her. Okay, I'm gonna embrace this. Well, let me tell you this. I'm like, yay. So that's what I know that we can do. And as long as people are receptive, you just gotta be open, open to new perspectives on things. Yeah. I I um one last thing, because you're saying that uh telling, especially the women in the generations before us, that it's okay to tell somebody how you feel. Um how you not just how you feel, but that something hurt your feelings. Yes. Or that you didn't like that, or um, you know, um it's okay to do you. It's okay to do you. Like, because I uh the ladies in my generation before what they were, they you're gonna listen, my dad is gonna have his shoes at the chair, your water running, and all this kind of stuff. But what about you? Right, mm-hmm, right. What about you? Uh Nana, uh uh Linda and I have this saying, here's some syrup for your pancakes. What is the syrup for your pancake? I'm gonna tell y'all about what that means. Okay, the camera. But here's some syrup for your pancakes, you know. Like to you, you know. So, okay. Well, it is over for us. Thank you so much for joining us. Uh, we are her presence. Come back and join us over and over and over again. 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