Work-Life Balance Is a Myth: Create Work-Life Harmony Without the Guilt

If you’ve ever whispered, “I’m so out of balance…” while simultaneously answering emails, reheating cold coffee, and wondering if your laundry is legally considered a dependent… welcome. You’re in the right place.

In this episode of Breakthrough with Mallory and Julie, we’re taking a flamethrower to the whole idea of work-life balance—because let’s be real: balance sounds cute, but it often turns into guilt with a Pinterest board.

Mallory and Julie break down why the “scales” version of balance is a setup (equal in all areas?! PLEASE), why your brain is addicted to the shoulds, and how comparison turns your life into someone else’s yardstick. We’re swapping the myth of balance for something way more useful: work-life harmony that fits your season, your values, and your real life (teenagers, messy houses, businesses, burnout, and all).

You’ll learn how to “recalibrate” before your body forces you to, how to stop doing the stuff nobody will notice if you quit, and why the goal isn’t getting everything done—it’s getting the right things done.

Because your life isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s a story. And you get to write it.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why work-life balance is a myth (and why the “equal scales” idea makes you feel like a failure)
• The real reason you feel out of balance.
• A practical way to evaluate your life using the “six-slice pie”:
  1. Work/Career
  2. Home/Family
  3. Health
  4. Recreation/Leisure
  5. Social/Friends
  6. Spiritual
• How balance evolves in seasons (what worked 10 years ago might not work now)
• Why comparing your “pie” to someone else’s is a guaranteed way to stay miserable
• The truth about burnout: hustle can build success… but overindulging in hustle will break you
• The “do less” wake-up call: stop doing the unnecessary stuff you’re doing out of obligation
• Why you’re nicer to your best friend than you are to yourself (and how to fix that)
• How to combine life categories (family time + movement + sanity) instead of trying to do it all separately

Quote-Worthy Moments

• “Balance isn’t a destination. It’s a mindset—and it evolves.”
• “Don’t be an asshole and have a messy house.”
• “It’s not about getting it all done—it’s about getting the right things done.”
• “The mess is part of your success.”

Your Breakthrough Challenge-- try it. Seriously.

1. Draw your “Now Pie.” How are you actually spending your time/energy/resources right now?
2. Draw your “Ideal Pie.” What would feel aligned with your values in this season?
3. Pick one thing to stop doing that you’re only doing because you think you “should.”
   (Real talk: if you quit it and nobody notices… congratulations, you just got your life back.)

If you’re a woman in business, an ambitious professional, an entrepreneur, a working mom, a work at home mom, or just a human trying to juggle career growth, family life, personal development, and mental health without combusting—this one’s for you. Especially if you’re battling burnout, overwhelm, anxiety, or the pressure to “have it all” all the time.

Come hang out with the Breakthrough Crew and tell us what hit home:

• Social: @BreakthroughWMJ
• Julie: @JulieBurchSpeaks | julie@julieburch.com
  
  
• Mallory: @mallory.herron (IG) | @MalloryHerronX (TikTok) | mallory@heronhr.com
  
  

And hey—if this episode made you laugh, made you think, or lovingly called you out… hit follow, share it wit

Transcript

Breakthrough with Mallory and Julie

Episode 4. Work Life Balance is a Myth!

Mallory Herrin and Julie Burch

Released February 26, 2026

Full Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:14):

Welcome to Breakthrough with Mallory and Julie, the podcast where we lovingly call you out, hype you up, and push you past the excuses that have been keeping you stuck.

Speaker 2 (00:23):

So if you're ready to make bold moves, chase big goals and break through the mindset junk that's holding you back. [00:00:30] Let's go.

Speaker 1 (00:33):

Hey, breakthrough Crew. This is Mallory Heron, wife, mom, CEO, speaker, author, and now podcaster.

Speaker 2 (00:39):

Hey everyone, your fellow podcast partner over here, Julie Burch. I've been speaking professionally for 28 years, so I have heard and seen some stuff. I am all about overcoming obstacles, growing personally and professionally, and really looking for ways that we can make an impact on the people around me. I'm here to help you do the same, [00:01:00] and it starts with what I call my war on self-abdication. We give away our power and we have to take back control. So I'm here to help you realize that your life is your choice, your decisions are your choice, and it's time to choose bigger and better. Let's move from where we are to where we want to be. So let's get it on.

Speaker 1 (01:22):

All right. And when I'm thinking about our intro and the success we've had all the different hats we wear [00:01:30] and now we're doing a podcast together because we needed

Speaker 2 (01:33):

To add more things to our to-do list.

Speaker 1 (01:35):

We just had so much time in the day. I think about how hard we have had to hustle to get where we are. And I really value work ethic. I value the hustle, but burnout is real.

Speaker 2 (01:50):

It is. And it's not pretty.

Speaker 1 (01:52):

No, it sucks.

Speaker 2 (01:53):

It's really not pretty. People think it's pretty. It's not pretty.

Speaker 1 (01:55):

I went through a pretty intense period of burnout not very [00:02:00] long ago when I tell you my health was terrible, my give a damn gone, my ability to just function as a human, barely there.

Speaker 2 (02:11):

That's right. Sometimes the hustle overtakes the sanity, and we have to make better choices. We have to balance that kind of ambition and the goal and the growth, and we have to navigate that and make good decisions about it. I do think though, that in our culture, the idea of work-life [00:02:30] balance has just gotten out of control. Ridiculous. And I don't think it's real. And I actually have an entire presentation that I do all over that is titled Work-Life Balance is a myth because it is a myth. What we think work-life balance is, is not really what it is, and it becomes a problem and it actually relates a lot to what we talked about in our last episode. So if you haven't listened to that one, make sure you go back and listen to that episode because it really does set the foundation [00:03:00] for this.

(03:01):

I really do find that my balance has always looked different, I think, than my friends and the people around me. I am like you, Mallory, really very ambitious. I am a complete and utter workaholic. I know kids, and again, married until I was late. So I had a very different vision of how I functioned in my life. And I'll tell you, I'm not going to lie. There were times when I thought, am I doing this wrong? Am I wrong? But I'm also very defiant, of [00:03:30] course. So I had to argue and go over the top making sure that everyone knew I was right and they were all wrong. But that realization that how I navigated it, how I navigated my life and how I navigated what we would call work-life balance, the harmony in our life was very different than other people. And that was a big teaching point because I was very defiant. Kids, they suck. They smell funny, and they don't like that

Speaker 1 (03:56):

They're, they're necessarily sticky.

Speaker 2 (03:59):

Why are they so sticky [00:04:00] all the time? Right? Stability. I thought that's lame. I'm a fly out the seat of my pants kind of G marriage. Ooh, gross. Who wants that? I didn't ever want any of those things until I met my husband, of course. And then everything in the world changed. But I do think that that's part of what happens when we talk about things like work-life balance, is that I think we're defining it in different ways and I think that becomes an issue.

Speaker 1 (04:22):

Well, and I really think what you said is true. It's a bunch of bullshit work-life balance. You get one life, [00:04:30] I'm sorry, but especially as a business owner, I'm thinking about work 24 7.

Speaker 2 (04:35):

Absolutely

Speaker 1 (04:36):

True. I take doxepin to be able to sleep at night just to turn it off. I'm always thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (04:41):

Absolutely

Speaker 1 (04:41):

True. If I'm having a really bad day at work, I'm not turning that off as soon as work is done. Alternatively, if I'm having a hard time in my personal life, well, I can compartmentalize to an extent, but then it's still going to affect my workday.

Speaker 2 (04:59):

Absolutely true. [00:05:00] Well, somebody told me one time early on in my entrepreneurship and my owning my own business that yeah, it's so great that you get to work for yourself. And so you get to make your own schedule. And it's like, yes, I get to make my own schedule. I get to decide which 20 hours of the day I'm going to work. I mean, I've always said that I have a really great boss because my boss will let me take an afternoon and go get my nails done or get a pedicure. [00:05:30] I've got a good boss. I on the other hand have a terrible employee who always wants to take the afternoon off to go get her nails done. So it's a balancing act, and that's part of where I think we all kind of struggle. I just don't think we understand what it means when we say balance.

Speaker 1 (05:46):

No, and I also think that to an extent, hustle, it's going to get you there. But when you overindulge in the hustle, when you subscribe to being a boss, babe, it can have some pretty devastating consequences.

Speaker 2 (05:59):

It [00:06:00] reframes everything. Yeah. I always pose this question. So let me ask you this question. When we talk about the idea of balance, so when you hear the word balance, what visual picture pops into your head?

Speaker 1 (06:15):

Oh, definitely like the scales.

Speaker 2 (06:17):

Yeah. When I pose that question, and I would love it even if our listeners, just even after the fact, tell me what you think. Shoot us a text on that because I do think that's an interesting thing. It's usually things like a seesaw [00:06:30] balance beam or scale. There's scales. My sister's in attorney, I always think scales of justice. But here's then the second part of that is if that's what we picture as bound visually, we think of scales. For the scales to be in balance, what do they have to be?

Speaker 1 (06:47):

Oh, it has to be equal.

Speaker 2 (06:48):

Equal.

Speaker 1 (06:48):

And it's exactly the scales of justice that I think of in my mind.

Speaker 2 (06:52):

But what a horrible message that is sending to us as humans that for you to be in balance, [00:07:00] everything in your life has to be equal.

Speaker 1 (07:03):

I did not subscribe to that,

Speaker 2 (07:04):

And that doesn't make sense,

Speaker 1 (07:06):

Right? Get me off of this list.

Speaker 2 (07:07):

Right. I mean, it's crazy when you think about it, isn't it? And I also, I will ask the question oftentimes. So if you've been there, you felt it probably if you're listening to this podcast, you chose this episode, you felt out of balance as well, that spoke to you as well. So I'll ask, so when that feeling hits you in the moment when it hits you, you chest gets heavy, it hits you. [00:07:30] What's another word that you might use to describe that feeling? And I'll tell you that once I tend to hear things like stressed, anxious,

Speaker 1 (07:41):

Overwhelmed,

Speaker 2 (07:42):

Overwhelmed, frustrated, even angry. I think all of those are true. Absolutely. All of those are true. I also think that it is guilt, it's rooted in guilt because that's the problem with balance, isn't it? That whatever you are currently doing, you [00:08:00] should be doing something else. It's the shoulds. And you've heard you should never should on yourself. It's true. Right? But I mean, I think that's what happens. You're working late because you had to get this project done, so you're working late, but you really should be going to your son's basketball game. You're going to your son's basketball game. But you really should be working on that podcast episode.

Speaker 3 (08:21):

Yes.

Speaker 2 (08:21):

I should be following up on those leads. I should be writing that presentation. I should be working on my book, all of the shoulds. So [00:08:30] that's what happens with balance is that it's really just guilt. It's the push and pull of whatever you're currently doing, you should be doing something else.

Speaker 1 (08:40):

Oh, there's never a moment's peace with that.

Speaker 2 (08:42):

No,

Speaker 1 (08:42):

And I get it because if I am not really doing anything, if I'm just taking some time to relax or go to my son's basketball game, I am thinking about, oh, I should be working. I should be doing this. And I just feel shitty.

Speaker 2 (08:57):

Exactly. And that's why people feel so out of balance. [00:09:00] But we have this crazy vision. The visual is that it should be equal. We should be spending all the, and I actually break it down, I think there's, what I think of is six key areas in your life. So those six key areas in your life. So work, career, that would be one home family, that's the second health, that's three. Recreation, leisure, four social friends, five, spiritual six. So those are the six key areas of our life. [00:09:30] And when we think of balance as being equal, then our belief is that all of those six areas of our life have to be equal. So equal amounts of time, energy, resources, they have to be equal. Well, it's not equal for anyone. So no wonder why we look at it and say, well, my life is so out of balance because they're not equal. But balance isn't about being equal. That doesn't make any sense. Right?

Speaker 1 (09:57):

Well, it just goes against nature. Life is not fair. That's

Speaker 2 (09:59):

Right. [00:10:00] It isn't. And I use the image, I use the illustration, the idea of pies and how you would slice a pie, how you would divide a pie. So if you were to divide your pie into those six key areas, how you spend, invest your time, your energy and your resources in any given whatever week, how you divide your pie now where you currently are, and I'll tell you, I do this as an exercise. I see people do all kinds of different things where they'll have one area that won't even be in their pie. They have no recreation, leisure, [00:10:30] they have no social friends or they have no health, whatever it is, it's all work and it's all home and family or whatever. And they look at that and they go, see, this is so wrong. I should have all six areas, but should you really? And then I'll have them do what I call an ideal. So okay, if you are completely in balance, if your life was in balance, how would you divide the pie? And it's remarkable how many people still will equally divide all six pieces. And I was like, well, but that's not true. That's not how it works.

Speaker 1 (10:58):

No,

Speaker 2 (10:59):

Nobody, first [00:11:00] of all, you don't have the same pie. Your pie's going to be different than everybody else pie, right? I'm kidding. I'm all about it. I can do a little pecan, a little apple, a little chocolate cream. Actually, my sister makes the best peanut butter pie. But I digress. But that's the problem is that we're comparing. And I had a friend that used to say that you cannot ever measure up when you're using someone else's yardstick. If I'm using your measuring tape, it's not going to work for me.

(11:28):

My measuring tape isn't going to work for you. [00:11:30] But that's what happens with balance is that we have this vision that everything needs to be equal and it's not. And then we feel frustrated because we look at, well, first of all, look, my pie is a mess. I don't even have these areas. And we look at the person next to us, we're like, and look at her pie. Her pie looks really good. Look at all that stuff. And we're comparing ourselves to the wrong thing because it's not about comparing. Balance is not the same for everyone. So we really misconstrue it

Speaker 1 (11:59):

Well, and I think too, [00:12:00] there's seasons for everything. So what you prioritize the bigger pieces of your pie, that's going to change over time.

Speaker 2 (12:07):

Absolutely true.

Speaker 1 (12:09):

I have gone through seasons where I've, when I first started my company, hustling really hard to build that up. And once I had a good foundation established, taking my foot off the gas to spend more time with my family.

Speaker 2 (12:24):

Exactly.

Speaker 1 (12:25):

And then ramping it back up again.

Speaker 2 (12:27):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (12:28):

Would I move to the [00:12:30] middle of nowhere? My portion of the pie that was spent with my friends really reduced.

Speaker 2 (12:36):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (12:36):

And I have fewer friends now, but they're my best friends.

Speaker 2 (12:41):

Right, exactly. I think what happens is that people don't realize that when we say balance is a destination, it's kind of like we talked about success as a destination and it's not. It's a mindset. Balance is the same thing. Balance isn't a destination. It's not like once you get balanced, it's like, oh, look at that. I'm balanced. I never have to think about it again. Because balance [00:13:00] evolves. What looked like balance for you 10 years ago is not going to be the same that it's going to look today. Definitely not going to be the same. It's going to look in 10 years from now, your kids are getting older, they're going to be graduating from high school soon. Right now, think about how much of your time, your energy, your resources, your pie would go into with your kids. Well, once they take the next step, that's going to shift,

Speaker 1 (13:24):

Oh yeah, I don't know what to

Speaker 2 (13:25):

Do with myself.

Speaker 1 (13:26):

It's going

Speaker 2 (13:26):

To be very different. Right? Yeah. So balance evolves. [00:13:30] The exercise that I teach in my sessions and the way that I've learned it, it started, and this is kind of funny, but I guess it's kind of sad really, but the first time I really saw this, I actually did this exercise. I wrote out my little, the six key areas. I did a pie for. Now where am I now? I did a pie for Ideal, and I looked at it to see the difference, and I did it in a airport bar on a cocktail napkin after a flight had been canceled again. [00:14:00] And I was so frustrated, and I literally sat at that bar. I ordered a chardonnay and I started looking at those pies and how that balance looked and where was I really. It's interesting when you make yourself, force yourself to put it into your terms rather than everyone else's terms because different for everyone

Speaker 1 (14:21):

As it's evolving. I think it's important to recalibrate.

Speaker 2 (14:25):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (14:26):

I was really burnt out earlier this year after [00:14:30] putting my foot back on the gas with business and working nearly 24 7, barely sleeping. And that led to my health just went to crap. Basically. I was getting sick every week with whatever colds and stomach bugs. And then even when I wasn't sick, I just lost my ability to just go do the things that I had always been able to do.

Speaker 3 (14:56):

My

Speaker 1 (14:56):

Body was very much forced to slow down, [00:15:00] and the whole time that's happening and I'm not able to work because I am so burnt out, all the work stuff that I have to do is just piling up and terrifying me for how am I going to go back to this? How am I going to get it done?

Speaker 2 (15:14):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (15:15):

If you're more intentional about how your pie is split up and you're recalibrating every once in a while, I think you probably have a much higher chance of success at avoiding that.

Speaker 2 (15:26):

Absolutely. Recalibrate is such a great word. I love that because I do think that that's true [00:15:30] is that that's the reset where we have to recognize that our definitions of change, so what once was exactly how it should be, may not be where it is today. And I think sometimes when those shoulds really hit us, when the guilt really hits us, the frustration really hits us. And sometimes that shows itself in burnout. Sometimes it shows itself in exhaustion, in illness, sometimes it's just recognition. So it's mental exhaustion, mental frustration. Some people catch it earlier than others, but when those signs happen, that's exactly [00:16:00] what you have to do is go back to the baseline and you have to recalibrate and reevaluate, am I doing this for the right reasons? And also when I do this with groups, I had this one woman, this is one of my favorite moments ever, because I really make people do it.

(16:15):

Fill out, do your pies to see what they look like, because it's good for people to see that their pie is different than other people's. And their now pie is almost always different than their ideal pie. I mean, if they're the same, then good job, you hoo, yay, you did good. You're done. You win. You're right. You can fast forward. [00:16:30] But most of us are not. Most of us, it's very different. And then I will ask people to tell me, where are your differences? And the most common thing I hear is that we want more time with family, less time at work. That is the number one most common now. It's not the only one, but it is the most common one I get. But I was doing this one time and I had an audience and I asked, where are your differences? And this woman raised her hand and she said, well, my now pie, I have a lot of family.

(17:00):

[00:17:00] And in my ideal pie, I have next to no family. I have more social friends and more recreation leisure. And everyone in the room kind of laughed and looked at her. She was crazy. You're the devil for, well, you don't like your family, what's going on? But I was like, well, so okay, tell me more. Tell me what's going on. And this was her story. She said that she was in her fifties and that she had a 9-year-old grandson, and that she was raising her grandson because her daughter had all kinds [00:17:30] of mental, emotional, legal problems and was not able to care for her grandson. So she was spending all of her time now caring for her grandson. And she had always thought, she said, ever since I was young, I thought that this was my time. By the time I got in my fifties that it's my time. I've raised my kids, it's my time. And all of my friends do all these really fun things. They do weekend getaways and they do Friday night dinner club, and they go to the casino [00:18:00] and they do all these great things. And I don't get to do any of that because I'm raising my grandson. And I said, well, that I understand. I said, that makes sense. I was like, so what we need to do is you got to get rid of that kid.

(18:13):

And she looked at me like I was evil. And everyone in the room looked at me like I was evil. But I was like, well, but I mean, if that's the problem, then that's the solution. And she said, well, I can't do that. My daughter can't take care of him. And I was like, okay, well create a problem solving. So there's got to [00:18:30] be something else. Maybe there's an orphanage or a foster home or somebody else that could take the kid off your hands. And she got so mad and she yelled at me and she said, I could never do that. And I looked at her, I said, why not? And she yelled in front of the whole room, because that child is the most important thing in the world to me. And I was like, so are you really out of balance or do you just think you're out of balance? Yeah. [00:19:00] And to me that's a really important lesson is that if you are doing what you are doing because it's in line with your core values, then you're probably not out of balance. Why did she think she was out of balance? Because peer pressure, who thought in her fifties you'd have peer pressure, but she was looking at her friends saying, well, they get to do that. I should get to do that too. It's probably the same thing your teenagers say to you,

(19:23):

Well, my friend gets to do it, why can't I? But that was her mindset was she was looking at where their lives were and [00:19:30] what their balance looked like, and because of that, she was measuring her life on their pie. And that's not how it works. I always ask the question, do you really want to fix it? Do you really want to fix it?

Speaker 1 (19:45):

Yeah. You got to throw all that comparison out the window. I think that we have a lot of, it should be this in our minds.

Speaker 2 (19:53):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (19:54):

And who's taking the time to actually ask themselves the question and to really think about it, but it's so important, [00:20:00] so you can design your life around it and whatever it ends up being, it's totally valid. It's fine. Exactly. If it's I want to spend the minimum amount of time with my family so I could go sail the world or whatever, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (20:19):

No judgment. Totally own it.

(20:21):

As long as you're owning it, as long as it's your choice. And it's not based on the fact that other people think that that's the right thing to do. So I mean, that to me is really an [00:20:30] important question. As our listeners are thinking about, do they feel out of balance? Are they feeling the guilt? Are they feeling the shoulds? Are they comparing themselves to other people? And when you look at where you really are, are you making the choices you're making because they're in line with your core values? And you know what? If that means right now, they do change. If right now that means you're spending less time with social friends or less time in recreation, leisure because you are working more so that you can put food on your kids' table and a roof over their head. [00:21:00] You're doing what you're doing for the right reasons.

(21:03):

And if other people want to make you feel guilty about that, that's on them. Right? That's not on you. Those people that want to say you don't have time to work out because you're feeding your children. You know what? Maybe next year you'll exercise. And if somebody gives you a hard time about it, honest to goodness, it's like you tell 'em, why don't you jog over there and get me a donut? I'm not doing it that way. Maybe next year I'll exercise. And I do think we can find ways to double up and balance that, but I think ultimately [00:21:30] we have to recognize it's our own choice.

Speaker 1 (21:31):

Well, I think we have to be kinder to ourselves too. Yes. So if I'm thinking about my best friend and she's working a ton. She just got promoted, she kicks ass, but she's working a ton. And then when she says, oh, I'm exhausted. I finally have a night that we can go catch up, and she's feeling guilty for not being productive in that time. I want her to have that time to relax and unwind. I'm not thinking, oh my God, you're so terrible because you're not being [00:22:00] productive right now. Why are we holding ourselves to a different standard where it's cool for everybody else, we want to support them, we want them to have the right makeup of their pie, but not us.

Speaker 2 (22:13):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (22:13):

We don't even like ourselves that

Speaker 2 (22:15):

You're so much nicer to your friend. If we would just treat ourselves as well as we treat our best friends. If we were as forgiving with ourselves as we are with our best friends. I mean imagine, because we're hardest on, we're our own worst critic. So you'd be very quick to tell [00:22:30] your friend that they need to take it down a notch and it's okay to rest, and it's okay to take an evening for yourself.

Speaker 1 (22:36):

Do less,

Speaker 2 (22:37):

Do less. It's okay to do that legitimate do less. And I actually think there's answers to that. I think so often the do less is that should just be like a siren call because I feel like it's such a red flag that we're doing shit we don't need to do. And that's what I think is the biggest issue. I'm not telling you to not do important things. I'm not telling you to do less of the right stuff. [00:23:00] What I'm telling you to do is stop doing the stupid stuff. Stop doing the shit. You don't need to do the things that you're doing just because you think you have to or because somebody else does it. All of those things. When people really evaluate where they spend their time, they do so many things that they do not need to do, and we just keep doing them and we feel guilty when they're not done. And it's like, you know what? If you stop doing that, nobody would notice.

Speaker 1 (23:25):

I have done that. I have reduced my roles. So I was, [00:23:30] in addition to running my business and working more than 40 hours a week and being a mom and being a wife and taking care of the animals, I was also going back to school. I was volunteering as a casa advocate. I was sitting on four different boards.

Speaker 2 (23:45):

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (23:47):

Actively and working boards. And every moment was scheduled and I managed it well. I did build in time to go to my son's basketball games, but I [00:24:00] was constantly tired and it's not sustainable. It is not sustainable at all. And I was miserable. I got burned out and then I said, I have to change something. Why am I doing all of this? I'm not getting a prize for it.

Speaker 2 (24:16):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (24:16):

So I stepped away. I'm still a CAA advocate, but I reduced the number of board positions I was on, and next year I won't be on any more time to podcast. Right. Also, I [00:24:30] stopped going back to school. I'll get to it another time if I want to.

Speaker 2 (24:34):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (24:34):

But I don't need to do it right now.

Speaker 2 (24:37):

I think that that's such smart way of approaching it is we need to start looking at, and I really do hope that our listeners take this to heart. I hope they marinate in this. I hope they really do spend some time thinking about this for themselves because this is a huge roadblock to success. This is a huge roadblock to getting from where you are now to where you [00:25:00] want to be. The breakthrough starts right here because it is about understanding and evaluating where are we spending our time? And we've said it before that where you spend your time, it speaks volumes about what your priorities are. And we don't have to do everything right now. We need to be doing the right things. It's not about getting it all done, it's about getting the right things done.

Speaker 1 (25:24):

And I feel so much better not doing all that shit anymore.

Speaker 2 (25:28):

I mean, it really is. It's [00:25:30] amazing when we step back and we start to really evaluate what are my values and how is that showing up at my time? Because there is a point where we spread ourselves so thin that we're not doing anything as effectively as we could do, and we could be a rockstar at this, but we're only half-assing it because that's all the time we have, right? We're so exhausted, we're mentally exhausted. We start making mental mistakes. So it becomes this kind of snowball and it actually will impact our effectiveness over time if we do [00:26:00] not take the time to really evaluate and identify where are our values and what is balance to me, what does that look like for me? And it doesn't have to look the same for other people, but if you break down those areas of our lives, you can really feel and you can just see where the push and the pull happens.

(26:21):

I mean, all of those areas, the family and home, I mean, it's not even just the kids. It's not just the people. It's the home. It's the maintenance, it's the upkeep. It's the [00:26:30] house clean. I've got laundry I need to do. My backyard looks like a jungle. Seriously. You need a machete to get to the other side. My pool. It's a hot mess. The leaves that are in there, but those are all part of that piece of that pie. And we get so overwhelmed by thinking we have to do all of everything in every single area. If I have to be the most amazing mom, I have to spend all the most amazing quality time with my kids. I've got to help my kids [00:27:00] every day with their homework. I have to be at every single event that my child has. I have to spend time with my spouse. We have to make sure we have time for date night because we have to make sure our relationship is good. We can never go to bed without speaking or being mad. We got to do that. We got to make sure that the home is clean and maintained and that there's no bugs running around or that the kids have a safe place to eat and there's food in their house, and we've got to do the grocery shopping, all of that. That's a lot.

Speaker 1 (27:21):

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:21):

Plus we have to balance. So we have to have an equal amount of time work, running a business, growing a business, getting promoted, taking [00:27:30] upleveling in your career health. Oh my gosh, you have to find time to move. You have to have time to exercise. You had to eat. Are you getting enough sleep? Right? All of those things that we're told you should be doing

Speaker 1 (27:44):

Well, and I think that's the part that we need to focus on more of what we should come on. I have teenagers in my house every day, not just the ones that belong to me, but extra teenage boys. [00:28:00] They

Speaker 2 (28:00):

Multiply.

Speaker 1 (28:00):

Yes. And look, I love that we're the house that all the kids want to hang out at. That's awesome. But I cannot keep my house clean. And who cares? Nothing's perfect except a little mess in your life.

Speaker 2 (28:14):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (28:15):

I would rather not spend my time trying to keep my house in pristine condition. Who's coming over? Teenagers? Teenagers, they don't care. They don't care. They want to know that there's food in the fridge that they can grab. That's it.

Speaker 2 (28:26):

Right. And honestly, you've seen this so many times [00:28:30] kind of that idea, the quote or whatever, where when you die, nobody is going to care how clean your house was or what kind of car you drove. What they're going to care about is how much time they got to spend with you, what relationship they were able to build with you. Were you an asshole or not? Exactly. Exactly. So don't be an asshole and have a messy house. I think that's the tip we just shared.

Speaker 1 (28:52):

Yes. It's solid advice.

Speaker 2 (28:54):

Solid. I think this is a really effective episode. I think we really nailed that one. That was good stuff right there. [00:29:00] But I do, I think we compare and I think we have to stop and think about, and we just covered three of the areas. There's six more social friends. I mean, how often do we talk to people that say, when was the last time you had a girl's night? It's been ages, but haven't you heard you should. Well shoot. Yeah, I've heard that.

Speaker 1 (29:23):

But is it fun?

Speaker 2 (29:23):

But when am I supposed to fit that in?

Speaker 1 (29:27):

My friends are, we can go [00:29:30] sometime without talking. We're not talking every day. We have our own shit going on.

Speaker 2 (29:35):

That is if you're going to be my friend, you got to know you're not going to talk to me every day and don't call me. I will talk to you. I don't answer the phone.

Speaker 1 (29:42):

If you have that expectation of me, I'm going to fail.

Speaker 2 (29:46):

Yes. I will not be the friend you want or need.

Speaker 1 (29:48):

Yeah. And I prefer peace. I don't want drama. And so my friends, I have two, they're both my best friends and they're amazing other than you. Of course. Of course. But I [00:30:00] don't have to talk to them every day. When we get together, we're not putting on airs. What do you want to do? Let's go to a dive bar.

Speaker 2 (30:05):

Right.

Speaker 1 (30:06):

That's what I want to do.

Speaker 2 (30:07):

That's what we want to do.

Speaker 1 (30:07):

I don't want to get dressed up nice and go, no.

Speaker 2 (30:10):

Right.

Speaker 1 (30:11):

What's fun for us is just talking shit.

Speaker 2 (30:13):

Exactly. That's pretty much what we do. We talk about everybody else, not how it works. That's what friends are for. But I mean, think about the way that we can set ourselves up. Because again, what people tell us you should, and we hear those messages because [00:30:30] whether it's on social media or it's on TV or it's coworkers or whatever, and oh my gosh, I had this amazing girls' weekend and we went to a bed and breakfast and we did two full spa days. And I'm like, holy cow. When in the world would I have time to do that? I should get to do that too, but I'm not. And that's part of that guilt. And the should. I think recreation, leisure. When was the last time you went on vacation? And the people that go on vacation, they love to bring back pictures. They're going to be like, look, check me out. Right. I'm [00:31:00] in Cancun. I put the margarita. I should get to do that too. What'd you do on your vacation? I cleaned the house.

Speaker 1 (31:08):

I am so bad about combining work with vacations.

Speaker 2 (31:10):

Oh, but see, that's a benefit when you're a business owner.

Speaker 1 (31:13):

Yes.

Speaker 2 (31:14):

There's an advantage in that.

Speaker 1 (31:15):

And as a speaker, getting to go somewhere, and that's paid for because I'm going to speak there for an hour. It's not a bad setup.

Speaker 2 (31:23):

No, it's not.

Speaker 1 (31:24):

But what that tells me is edit. In having a vacation, I've often still [00:31:30] been, well, I have to do this work now.

Speaker 2 (31:33):

So why is that wrong? That's one of the things that I find frustrating. I tell Jay Cruise a lot. I do. I love to go on cruises. It's kind of my husband and i's new thing. And after we used to have an RV and got stolen, so now we cruise. And so cruise groups, like Facebook cruise groups. And one of the common things that people fight about in these groups is, how's the wifi on the cruise? Because I'm going to have to do some work while I'm there. [00:32:00] And people just blast them. You're on vacation. Why do you need wifi? Why would you need to check your email? You're on vacation. And to me, that's again, the pressure from other people trying to tell us what normal is. And it's people not realizing that other people define things differently. I own my own business. I'm it.

(32:20):

So if a client reaches out and they need to know, am I available to do that opening keynote for their conference on that day? They can't wait a week for me to reply to that. So [00:32:30] we need to be kinder to each other. We need to show each other grace and recognize that yes, a lot of times we're combining, right? You need time with your family, but you also need to cook them dinner. So maybe we get a family cooking night going right now. We're going to get them involved in that process, and we're going to include them in that. There's ways that we can combine. We want to spend more time on our health. Maybe we go for dinner after dinner. We go for a walk with the kids.

Speaker 3 (32:58):

So

Speaker 2 (32:58):

We get to have an interaction with them. We get [00:33:00] a little family time and we get a little bit of a health time at the same time. So it's not the end of it. It doesn't have to all be separate. And what you're saying about how you balance that, there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1 (33:10):

No. And I like my work.

Speaker 2 (33:13):

Yes. I

Speaker 1 (33:14):

Don't. There are times when I'm like, oh my gosh, it's too much and I need to make some adjustments. And there are other times where I'm eating and breathing and sleeping work. I give it all. I really love what I'm doing. As long as I know [00:33:30] what I'm prioritizing, why I am doing it, and what I need to do to prevent it from getting to a point of total burnout, there's nothing wrong with it

Speaker 2 (33:39):

At all. I agree. I love what I do. I feel blessed that I get to do what I get to do, and I get to jump out of bed every morning and hit the ground running and be really excited because what I do, I truly enjoy. And I appreciate. For some people that is foreign. For some people a job is just [00:34:00] that. It's just a job. My hope is though, for people that feel that way, that they either find their joy in the job they have or they break through, that they recognize where they are is not where they want to be. They get in that dojo and they figure out how to get to the other side because there is nothing like the feeling of enjoying what you do. And to me, that's how it all comes together. Why do I not mind answering calls or even jumping on my laptop on a cruise because I'm so grateful [00:34:30] that I get to do it.

(34:31):

I'm happy I'm taking payments from the cruise ship. Let's do it, baby. There's nothing better. So I do think that part of understanding balance is there's a lot of crossover and it's not the same for everyone. And that really is my number one tip is that, so as you're listening to this, what do you take away from this? Is that you have to define your own balance. Stop looking to other people. Stop comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing. Stop judging yourself based on other people's [00:35:00] expectations and standards, and define your own balance for yourself. And then know that just as soon as you figured it out, it's going to start to shift.

Speaker 1 (35:08):

Oh,

Speaker 2 (35:08):

Absolutely. So it evolves over time. And be open to that.

Speaker 1 (35:11):

My tip would be really think about what legacy you want to leave and how do you accomplish that. So you can be very intentional with your time. And also you just have to accept some mess. We're not perfect. Life is not perfect.

Speaker 2 (35:27):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (35:28):

All areas of your life [00:35:30] are not equal. There's going to be some mess somewhere.

Speaker 2 (35:33):

That's right.

Speaker 1 (35:33):

That's okay.

Speaker 2 (35:34):

The mess is part of your success. Right. I think there's a lot to be said for that. I think that's really wise. I think we gave them really good stuff today. I think we did. I think this was a good episode. I'm pretty good. I feel like we did a good one. What do you think? Good.

Speaker 1 (35:48):

I think so. I hope so.

Speaker 2 (35:49):

Well, I hope that our listeners will reach out to us and let us know that they're enjoying. We're more than happy to get feedback what you liked or didn't like, didn't like which way you'd like us to go. If there's [00:36:00] topics you'd like us to address, you can reach out to us on our social breakthrough w mj, that's with Mallory and Julie. So breakthrough w mj. You can go to Julie at my handle at Julie Birch. You can go to julie@juliebirch.com. You can reach out to Mallory mallory@heronhr.com.

Speaker 1 (36:20):

Yes, you can find me on Instagram at mallory dot Heron or on TikTok at Mallory Heron X.

Speaker 2 (36:26):

Perfect. So please reach out and make sure you hit that follow button [00:36:30] so that it will drop into your inbox for the next episode. You won't even have to look for it. And that is also where you can text us and share any of your thoughts along the way. We'd love to hear 'em. So thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 (36:40):

Thank you so much. Listen, share, and we'll see you next time on Breakthrough.

Speaker 2 (36:46):

Love it.

Speaker 1 (36:49):

All right, powerhouse, before you sprint off to conquer your day, if this episode fired you up, made you laugh, or lovingly kicked you in the mindset, do us a favor, hit that [00:37:00] follow button and come hang with us on social. We're over there dropping truth bombs behind the scenes nonsense, real life breakthroughs, and the occasional wait. Did they really just say that moment? You can find us on social. Just search at Breakthrough WJ and join the crew. You can even find Mallory at Mallory Heron on Instagram or at Mallory Heron X on TikTok and Julie at Julie Birch.

Speaker 2 (37:25):

And seriously, thank you for listening. Thank you for showing up for yourself, [00:37:30] for doing the work and for choosing growth. Even when it's uncomfortable, that's not small stuff. That is breakthrough behavior. Now go do something bold. Take back your power. And remember, if you ever forget who you are, we'll remind you.