"called to comfort" with Debbi Chesney

In this episode, we sit down with Debbi Chesney — community chaplain, lifelong friend, and one of the most faithful (and funniest) people you'll ever meet. Debbi shares what it really looks like to walk alongside people through life's hardest and most sacred moments, from grief and loss to baptisms and celebrations — and yes, even a hamster blessing.

We talk about what it means to be called by God to something you didn't expect, how to carry the weight of others without letting it crush you, and why presence matters more than having the right answers. Debbi also opens up about her own struggles with anxiety and doubt, what she does when faith feels distant, and the profound moment that changed her ministry forever.

If you've ever wondered where God is in the middle of the mess — or if you've been afraid to take a step forward in your faith — this episode is for you.

What we cover:

• What a community chaplain actually does (and why Debbi can't believe she gets paid for it)
• How to be present with people in pain without carrying what isn't yours to carry
• Why feelings are liars and how to anchor yourself in God's word instead
• The power of humor in ministry and how laughter opens doors faith talk can't
• Debbi's most unforgettable moment in ministry — a story about a fallen soldier and showing up when you feel completely unqualified
• What to do when you feel overwhelmed, alone, or like you're not enough
• How to invite God into every single moment, not just the big ones
• Generational faith — the seeds we plant that we may never see grow

Connect with Debbi: 📧 dchesney85@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

After I'd worked in the church for a while, I started praying about God. I want to be taken more seriously. I'd gone to a hospital visit where there was a suicide, and somebody that was there said, Did you go in there? Were you just so funny? And I was like, No, I wasn't funny on that. And it was like God just started turning the channel on.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Hey guys, it's Nancy and welcome to the She Laughs podcast. Sit down with me while I chat and get personal with some insanely cool women as they share their smarts and their hearts.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

God gave us each unique gift and we gotta use them. Inside each one of us is a cool girl. So buckle up. Let's get vulnerable, let's get real, and let's laugh. Hey guys, welcome back to the She Laughs Podcast. And I'm super excited about our guest today. But before we begin, I wanted to let y'all know people ask me all the time whether my guest and I rehearse from a scripted list of questions or if I give them a list of questions in advance. And the answer is a hard no because these conversations are completely organic. I may have a few guiding thoughts for sure. I research the guests coming on and I also pray about it. But what you hear is authentic, unscripted, and led by the moment. And yes, I believe by the Holy Spirit too. And today is no different. So I am so honored to have Debbie Chesney and welcome her today to the She Laughs Podcast. For those of you that do not know Debbie, she is a devoted community chaplain who has faithfully walked alongside individuals and their family through life's most sacred and challenging moments. And we are all just absolutely so grateful for her. And I really want you to hear from Debbie today because she is so many wonderful things to so many people. And but the backbone of Debbie and the heart of Debbie is her faith. And she is to me somebody that brings people to know Jesus who otherwise either don't feel worthy or kind of like, I don't know about this faith stuff, or what is this God stuff? And she makes everybody feel really comfortable and really secure. And though they might be a little bit afraid to step forward in that, she normalizes it and makes everybody come to Jesus that may be not so sure about it. And for those going through hard times or joyful times or whatever the issue is, Debbie is there. So Debbie, without further ado, welcome to the She Laughs Podcast. Thank you for having me on the She Laughs Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Look at you having a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

God is big, right? I mean, he does all three. Um, and I, y'all have known Debbie for I can't even tell you how long because it will age us, but since I was probably seven, no, probably eight. And I've known Debbie. And um, but for those of you meeting Debbie for the first time, I would love you, Debbie, to tell our listeners what does it mean to you to be a community chaplain?

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Well, thank you for having me on the Nancy Segredo podcast. I love that your dad would be so proud to have his name up there. Segrato. Um, I'm the community chaplain. I have known Nancy since we were about in the fifth grade. Long time back. She is not aging. Other people on the podcast might have a little sil there because it's in the Bible that that's wisdom. Also, you got a lot of other problems here. Okay. What do I do as the community chaplain? Um, I've been on the channel. So what does it mean to you to be the community chaplain? What does it mean to me? It means I can't believe I'm being paid to do this. I love, I feel like God has called me to do this. And I just wake up each day and say, Where are we going? And then some days I wake up and say, I'm not going anywhere. And he says, Yeah, no, we are. So um, I basically am like a floating pastor. I go to all the different churches and two synagogues here in San Antonio. My job is ecumenical, and I'm supported by this incredible community. I was on staff at a church for about 18 years, if I'm remembering that right. And about in 2017, a group of people came to me and said they'd been in prayer about this and that they wanted me to be the like missionary in our neighborhood. And I said, I'm not interested. And God said, Yes, you are interested. You're going to do that starting now. So here we are, and I get to do a little bit of everything. I baptized a hamster last Saturday alongside two babies. And wait, you did what with the hamster? No, I baptized a hamster. It was a whole situation. I was with a family that I've I've known for a long time, and I was baptizing two of the children that are members of this family. And another person in the family came out with her little cage with the rat in it, which I was informed was not a rat, is a hamster. And what did I have to say for this thing? And I said, Well, I guess we're gonna baptize it, slash, don't come at us with your theology business, but we're gonna bless it. So I did, and everything was fine until the end of my baptisms, like everyone I usually do. Now I mark the sign of the cross on your forehead to show that you're sealed by God. And then I realized I'm gonna have to touch the hamster. And it was real like and so it was a more of a dotting the cross on the hamster's so I could go anything from hamster to like today. I'm going to a hospice visit right after our visit, which I'm hoping to have as much laughter because we can have some laughter in that.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Well, and you do, and that's that is something I think is so important for us to talk about. But the first thing I want to address is what you said. You get up every morning and you get to be you. And I believe that when we are stepping into God's will and our spiritual gifts that he has given us for our lives, and those may change over time, as you know, Debbie. Um, but when he wants us to to live out his will and use our gifts, it feels like that. You say exactly what you said. I cannot believe I get paid to get out of bed and go do what I'm doing. And you do it so beautifully. And and like you said, you do it with humor, um, along with compassion and grace. You're always reverent. There's always a reverence to it, but humor is a big part of what you do. And she laughs. And and yeah, we love that at the She Laughs podcast because you know, I believe Debbie is one of the funniest and most faithful people I've ever known. But God has a huge sense of humor too. And I love that he's giving you that gift. Yeah, huge, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:03

And that's whole that's I in my experience, that's all through the Bible. Jesus was funny, I think. There's several different examples of how he is funny. God talks about that. He sits on his throne and laughs and somewhere in Psalms, and then he says, in one of my favorites, which is Proverbs 31, your namesake for the podcast, or whatever that wording would be, that she is uh she is filled with goodness. She's not feared that the day's to come. She's not afraid of the day, she's ready to go.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Yes, she loves it, and I love that you bring that in. So for you, okay, you often speak about inviting God into every moment. So, what does that look like for you in everyday life? Because there are people that see you and think, Oh my gosh, how does she do that? Right? Those those that you bring don't always, they aren't always as far along in their journey with Christ as you are. So what does that look like in everyday life, inviting God into every moment?

SPEAKER_01 8:06

For me, it's as simple as, okay, now we're going on a podcast. What am I gonna say that's gonna embarrass you? Feel free to give me a in the middle of it. Or it's okay to bring him because he's already in it. It's almost like acknowledging. I know you had Casey Harris on Yates on uh not that long ago, and she used to teach a great class over at Old Christ Healing Center, and it was she would have Jesus be sitting. Well, you can't see down here, but she you have Jesus in a blank chair, it would basically just train you to think Jesus is always sitting here, so which is not good news for me. It's a real situation, but um he's always there, so it's I don't know. I I think over the years, I've been in ministry for so long that I've realized I'm not responsible for explaining God to anybody. I'm not responsible for dragging anybody to God. I am not responsible. I'm not in charge of his PR. Um, it's not my job. My job is to just go love God, love others. Simple sign. I don't have to shove it in anybody's throat. I'm just like just one step just in front of me. Yeah, by example, right? Is what you do. Yes, and I don't even really think of it like that because that feels so arrogant. Anything I'm doing or that's good, you're very kind with all your words, it's all him. It's not me. But yes, anything I'm doing is him, and hopefully he'll use that or he won't. Like sometimes he'll be like, No, this still's gonna be between you and me. It's a smart move on that a lot.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

So you walk along, people in in the middle of crisis, grief, and loss, and right, you know, a lot of that's super heavy. So, what has that taught you about God's presence?

SPEAKER_01 9:56

That he will meet you where you are, he will meet me where I am. I do a lot of grief, which is so weird because my whole life, as you know, I've always been the class clown. I was a class clown, class clown, uh, she's so funny. And after I'd worked in the church for a while, I started praying about God. I want to be taken more seriously. I'd gone to a hospital visit where there was a suicide, and somebody that was there said, Did you go in there? Were you just so funny? And I was like, No, I wasn't funny on that. And it was like God just started turning the channel on me. I was still able to use humor that he had given me, but he started putting me in a lot more really serious situations. And so I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

I love that. No, he was telling you and you listened. I love that. So, how do you, when someone asks you, where is God in this? Let's say they're grieving, they just lost. I know you've been like suicides, you've been with people who've lost children, spouses, I mean, everything. And what what do you say to someone who who is like, okay, where is God in this? How do I make sense of this? What do you say?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

I that goes back to, and it's taken me a long time to figure out that that's not my responsibility to prove or make up and be like, oh, I'm sure I used to say, like, oh, but God's in it. Don't worry, don't worry. The floods and Kerbil, the a murder or whatever it is. I don't have to explain it. I just have to be present. God talks about in the book of Job, the example he gives is Job is everything in this world's falling apart, and he's got the three friends come along, and they're they've got all the excuses and all the explanations. And oh, well, here's what we'll do. This is because you did this, you did that. And God's like, shut it. Just sit there with him. And so a lot of what I do is just uh be present or try to be present.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Um, see, I love that though. Just you explaining the book of Job, you are able to make others who may not have even read the book of Job, right? Understand it. And the way you just said that, shut it, you know. Shut me right. I think that's in the KJV, like shut thou.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Shut shut that. Shut that. But shut your mouth, shut your Bible. I think I know that because he says that to me so often, like, no, no, meep bye. Let's none did be.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Okay, and that's something I wanted to ask you because I've always went in my conversations with God, I was taught, you know, when you're asking him, is this you? It sounds like me. He does speak to us how we would say something, right? So he's actually saying that to you because that's how you receive it, because that's how you would say it, right? That's right.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Well, and that's what I mean, the whole thing. God sent his son as a person, as the greatest rabbi ever back then to still to be like the people. That's why they understood him so well. God, they I know what God is like because I studied Jesus. I don't really reflect it all the time, but I try, I think about it. It's not not good enough. No, okay, I'm trying. But he, I think God sent a human. He didn't send a bird. If we were all birds in need of something, he would have sent a big, maybe, I don't know. See, I don't know if he sent a big giant bird, but that's no, okay. All right. So yeah, he does. I think he sounds like us, he talks like us. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Yep. 100% you're in these really sometimes uh, you know, super heavy, sometimes it's celebratory, as you know. Right. Yeah, um, you know, weddings, you officiate weddings, you do happy things, births, baptisms, all the all the good. But a lot of it is emotionally heavy. So how do you carry that emotional weight of others when you're there, like you were saying, for a suicide or a funeral while protecting your own heart and strength? Because people get, you know, you hear about psychiatrists getting burned out, grief counselors, the the hospital staff, you know, it's gonna take a toll. So, how do you carry that while still protecting your own heart? Because you are so positive. You bring humor and light wherever you go. How are you able to protect your heart and your, you know, your emotional state?

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Well, a lot of training. The first thing I would say to how do I carry it is I don't carry it. I don't carry it. I get in the car, and this is after years of, I know you've had Teresa Moore on here, who's one of my all-time favorite wise ears in my life. Um, and I don't carry it. It's not mine to carry. God's like, I spent many years, decades carrying, like, oh, this is really bad. I got to take this on, I gotta figure it out. Okay, I'll tell them to do this. And then God was for so long, like, I mean, I started going into really heavy depression and I deal with anxiety anyways. But I God pointed out to me, train me, this is not yours to carry. You go in there and talk to him or listen, don't say a word. And then when you get in the car or walk outside, you give it to me. And so some of the practice I'd learned at one point was to, God, take all of this, take it, even if it was just a prayer, like if I get in the car after leaving a funeral home or something. And I don't know how to pray for that. I would just say, like, God, whatever is implanted in my head from that, take it away. Take it. Show me what you want me to have, take away what you don't want me to have. And I wouldn't even consciously always do that. But the longer I've been in ministry, which has been a long time, I've learned like, no, no, no, you can't. You don't that you're not wired for this because then you end up in depression and anxiety, and you just give it to me.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

And so you surrender that. You really do surrender it. You just say I have to.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Otherwise, I'm having summers where I just be like in Teresa Moore's office constantly, or just like, I'm so depressed, I don't know what's wrong. I feel so heavy. I have a and she she would be like, Okay, why do you think that is? I'd be like, Well, I don't know, it's a darn estate.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

It's so weird.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

So learn to not try to not carry it. It's not mine to carry. It's like I'm stealing it from God if I'm carrying it. Or he's like, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

That's hard for people to do to surrender, whether it's a worry or a fear or grief about somebody else when you're trying to help them, is to surrender it to him, right? But he's our healer.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

It's a fine, he is our healer, and it's a fine line between getting rid of it and also staying in the epathetic part, like sitting in it with them. Like people, it was some I had to class a hundred years ago in a slave from our church said, Don't sit in it with them, don't sit in it with them. You just listen. I was like, No, you have to. There's got to be a balance between sitting with people in it. Like if you call me and you're sad about something, I'm gonna feel it with you as much as I can.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Um, but not keep carrying it with you at the time. I can't fix it.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Yeah, don't take the responsibility to fix it. There you go. Okay, God's got it.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Yeah, because you've got the compassion and the empathy, you're there. But I there's no way a human can carry all that. Only he can, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Jesus didn't. Jesus was like, let's go to my father. Dad, Lady's got a bleeding problem, or somebody touched my robe. What's the deal? It wasn't ever like, it was all credit to God, all credit to God.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

Right. Okay, love that. Okay. But on that note, when you meet with these families or these individuals uh or these groups, right? Because you you kind of do everything, Dove. Um, what has surprised you about human resilience and faith? Is there anything that has surprised you?

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Lots that people are stronger than they think they are. You're stronger than you think you are, Nancy. I'm stronger than I think I am. I I just and I think our community is so all communities are awesome. But I only live in this one, so I can only talk about this one. And it is a very powerful where I live is where Nancy grew up. We're in it's a very small mulberry type community. It's in the middle of San Antonio, which is like the what is it, the fourth or fifth largest city in Texas. But our neighborhood is tight-knit and generational, and grandparents knew each other and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

So it's it's the best, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

It's also not surprising to see the people that you can see their parents and their grandparents' strength through them. Like, yeah, they're survivors.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

These are these are people that are that generational strength.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

And like, you know, you pull up your bootstraps and put your big girl pants on and let's move on.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yeah, right. And I think we as um, you know, parents or aunts or uncles or grandparents or whatever it is, we really don't realize how important it is that we instill that resilience, that faith, that belief system in them because it comes back, like you were saying, and enables them to push through hard times, enables them to know God, right? In a way that we may not realize how big of an impact. We know it's important, and we know, at least I do. I know it's important. I know I'm so grateful that my parents did, that my grandparents, but as you're going through it, you really don't know how big the impact is, right? And we may never see it. Um, right.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

And I don't know that we're designed to see it. I feel like there's so many examples, even like in the Bible, Abraham plants this tamarisk tree, which no, I don't know what that is, but it's a tree that when you plant it, it takes a really, really long time to grow. And I got to go on a study trip to Israel, and we walked by this certain area that was allegedly where Abraham planted this tree. And the lesson there was you you do this for the generations later. You're not gonna see the results. I'm not gonna see see results. You're not of all the things that we do or plant, but that I mean they're not coming.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

Yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. You don't see it, but they're the roots are there and they're growing. Well, you just can't see it. Yeah. Okay, in your job, as what what misconceptions do you think people have about if this chaplaincy? Chaplaincy. What do you think? Yeah, is that a word? Okay, are there it is now? Are there misconceptions you think people have? And if so, what are they?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Hmm. I don't know that I don't know what misconceptions people have of me as a chaplain. What misconceptions I used to have about pastors and priests and chaplains would be like, oh, holy rollers, they're really serious. They got they got a Bible verse for every problem you got. Like, God, the Lord is upon you. Right. I just they're all human, everybody's the same. None of us, uh, every church I've worked at or gone to several different churches, and I'm involved in several different churches, and there's people that are happy on one half of the church and people that are mad on the other, because everywhere you go is a human leading the daggum thing. And so what was your question?

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Yeah, no, just kind of what misconception, and you're saying that they're not as unapproachable and as, as you said, holy roller as somebody may think, right? They're human, right? So we're all broken in some way.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

They are too you can't put that much on a pastor of your church or the even the rabbi at your synagogue because they're human. You're the bottom line is you're worshiping God when you go to synagogue or Christ when you go to a church. You can't get where you're uh worshiping the leaders because they'll let you down and they don't even mean to. They're like, hey, we're just trying to get by. Right, just trying to do our job. Listen, I didn't sign up to be perfect, I just signed up to come be the chaplain.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Yeah, that's so good. That is so true and so good. Yeah, because that we can start thinking that um. Um and unintentionally worshiping that, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Totally. I mean, people are always mad at this. There's always somebody that's mad at their church. I get all kinds of, oh, I can't go to that church anymore. You can't believe that minister did. I'm like, yeah, okay. It's just always something.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Yeah, and that's why I think there is division in churches, is because we are all human. And oftentimes we sadly see, you know, somebody on the pastoral team, you know, do something that becomes public, which is so, you know, the church really struggles there because people have really, you know, looked up to them. But I think we have to. Some of it's really bad.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

I mean, I'm not talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Remember it, they're human though, and yeah, and not uh hold them to some, I don't know, higher standards. Yeah. I mean, there is, I think, though, don't you, a little bit of a higher standard, but not to when to make to where they're holy and perfect, like like 100%.

unknown 22:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Yeah, kind of percent.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Well, it's like I would hold it a teacher that's teaching me a math class, which God bless them, um, but I would hold a teacher to know more about math than I would, just because they're the teacher. What about our poor math teachers our whole lives?

SPEAKER_03 23:09

Oh, gosh, bless them. My tutors that my parents had to get for me.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Shout out.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Okay, you've seen a lot, and I would love to hear, and I'm sure others would too. What for you has been one of the most profound or unforgettable moments in your miss in your ministry? I know there's a bunch, and I know that's hard when someone goes, Okay, what's your favorite song of all time? So I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have so many, I don't know. And I draw a blank favorite tragedy. What's your favorite tragedy? Um a profound one. Profound.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

It doesn't have to be unforgettable was a guy named Ben Schmidt, who's from San Antonio, and he was a kid in my confirmation class years and years ago, and he went out to serve in Afghanistan and was killed. And it was right along the time that I'd been praying about, God, I'm sick of being the class clown. Don't take my funny away. But I I wouldn't, I needed. And um, and I found myself being the main minister with this family and at their front or at 6 a.m. after the United States Marines had come and and said, Your son's been killed in action, and um with a portion of the family, I should say. And it was just that I'll never forget that watching this whole thing and watching how God worked through it and getting to be involved in his the dignified transfer, which is when they send someone home, and then seeing the casket come off the plane with the flag and just realizing obviously freedom is not free. But this it was a very profound part of my ministry when God was like, you know, that the family said, Okay, so you're gonna ride with us in the limousine and you're gonna help us do this, and you're gonna, and it was just me and this father and stepmother, who are dear friends of mine, just the three of us. And I was like, Well, this feels like a terrible selection that you've made. I was in over my head, but God just kept showing up. Like, no, no, no, no, you don't, you definitely aren't gonna have the answers to this one. But good luck there. But he just kept putting me where I was like, shouldn't we call like an actual minister? And they're like, No, you're our minister. Again, just not a good choice, but so yeah, that's meant with a great kid.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

That's amazing, but I love that you said to God, you know, I'm wanting to present as a little more serious here. Help me, and then he gives you this giant whale of uh what are you even doing?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

It was a whale. I was like, I don't feel like this is exactly at all a good idea, sir. Or say your sir.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

But and you he knew, but that you know what that reminds me of. All there, the Bible's full of them, and you know what they're saying, I I got seriously, I'm not gonna do this. Um, I can't, I stutter, or okay, yeah. Seriously, I can't. Yes, he's up there going, but I'm not the one that's gonna save all these people, my people, you know, yeah, and he says, Oh, yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

No, and he's like, Me, no, talk good. Me, no, talk good. This is not work. And it's like, you know, you're specifically, and I am gonna use your humor in this.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

That that is the coolest story. I didn't know that story. I didn't know I knew I knew you had been there for that, but what I didn't know was your heart in that and seeking him, and that he delivered that, you know, humongous responsibility and said, We've got this.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

I hadn't really thought of it until you asked, really. I mean, I've always thought of him, never forgotten it, but I'd never thought of that being such a unforgettable part of my there's so many, like you say, but that one just struck stuck out like God keeps using it. I'm still he'll still have me go sign up, go talk to the sixth grade girls' service club, you know, one of their own that went start or bring it up in this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 27:12

I mean, I wasn't planning on talking about this, but he's always reminding me like always and and I think even when it and I've been a part of events where even when it is not a faith-based event, for instance, um, for those of y'all listening, Debbie was just honored with a very rare and special award that Alma Heights School District gives out. She is one of the few selected as a distinguished alumni. And she got up to give her speech. Hall of Famer. Hall of Famer. That's what I'm sorry. Distinguished alumni, Alma Heights Hall of Fame. And it's a very um, I mean, really well-vetted award. And there are a lot of people that um would be deserving, but it's it's not everybody gets picked, is what I'm trying to say. And so she got up and gave a speech that just killed it. And and your gift and humor, I, as I said earlier, all I think will brings people that are otherwise afraid of the, oh, I don't know, this whole business about the church and God and Jesus, I don't know, it's not for me. It's just not for me. I think you bring um humor in people who otherwise wouldn't know him. But when you are in a situation because faith is such a part of who you are, and because of laughter and humor is one of your gifts, how are you able to, you know, know when to put the gas on it, when to ease it off? I mean, how do you know? How do you know? Ooh, it's hit or miss.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

And when it's a miss, it's a real bad miss. Um, I don't know. I I just put stuff out there. I say things that probably shouldn't be said, and sometimes it lands like that's a good one. And then other times you and several of our other friends are like, wow, I don't believe I'd I don't believe I'd have said that out loud.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Um I'm so glad you did, is the thing. You should have tried it. You you say things I think that others may be afraid to say and for a reason they should not say it. No, it should be said, but I I believe that you say the things that really ought to be said to either um bring somebody to be more faithful or to or to break the ice in a room or to make others, you know, it kind of you equalize, you make it you're the great equalizer. You make everybody feel equal, you make everybody feel special. And and so, and I think humor sometimes you say things that we all are thinking. The fact that you say it, it does break the ice and it brings people together who may not have who may are sitting at the table or in the audience or wherever it is, who may not have otherwise had this fun special moment um with the person sitting next to them or across them because they really don't have them or whatever. You bring that as part of, and to me, that's part of your ministry because when people see that, they realize okay, she's really funny, she's really human, and she really shows up for God and loves him and loves others. And so I think even when you're not aware, other people are like, okay, yeah, she's she loves him and she's funny.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Is that what they're saying?

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Is that what they're saying? Yes, I mean I I hope I'm an equalizer because that's how I think we are all equal. And I hope I show up for him because he shows up for me and you, and he's constantly everywhere. If you open your eyes and look, you'll see him. Or you ask, ask him. That was where are you, God, in this? And then listen. And it's usually like the first thing where you're like, I don't know, Casey Yates, Casey Harris, whatever we're calling her now, was would do a great teaching on that. Wait, yeah, just I can't remember. What was the name of that? Um, the prayer. I don't remember God, where are we?

SPEAKER_03 31:17

No, that's way no, it's from him, but um yeah, but she does. Okay, a lot of women um are listening and they struggle. And and as you know, that's sort of the whole backing of the reason why I've done this podcast is because uh we all struggle with fear and doubt. And um, God says, as you know, over and over and over and over, do not fear, do not fear, do not fear. I believe it's because he knows we are like little sheep and we get afraid of everything, but he has this big, bold life plan for us, right? That he wants us to live. And if we're just over here all scared and afraid and not trusting him, we're not gonna do it. So I know you feel that way too. So what encouragement would you give women listening today who feel like they're called for more, but they're struggling, going, I don't know, I'm not this or I'm not that, or I'm not enough of this, or what encouragement would you offer them?

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Uh just exactly what you said. He does say so clearly all over the Bible, do not fear. He says it over and over, and he's constantly talking to almost everyone he's talking to is kind of afraid on some level of like whether they're being healed or whether who touched my robe or who said this. And it's always do not fear, do not fear, I am with you, I am with you, I am with you, I am with you. It's all that just his name from when he was born, Emmanuel.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Well, what if they say, okay, what if they say back to you, okay, he says that, but I'm not feeling him. What would you say?

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Yes. Well, guess what? I uh you're right, and you won't always feel in because guess what? Feelings are liars. You and I have talked about that before. My feelings are the biggest, fattest liars in town. And so I don't, I trust, I gotta trust God's word, and I do. I trust the body. That's the thing about me that might like might be different than some people, and I like with some people that I think I take God at his word. Take him at his word. So when he says, I'm with you, I'm gonna believe him.

SPEAKER_03 33:25

When he says about people who say, okay, he says that to Jacob or to Abraham or to Sarah and Moses and you know, everybody, but how how do I know he's with me? How do I know that's for me? Because some people do wonder that. They say, well, it's of course they do.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

I wonder that sometimes. I wonder that, you wonder that. And we both have a firm faith. And I still am like sometimes, like, why are you putting me on a podcast with Nancy? Shouldn't we be having lunch and a margarita and a bowl of chips somewhere instead of you sure? This is as good as you get as us. This is bad. I'm glad our moms introduced us so long ago. Do we tell the story? But yeah. So I got a call in the I guess I was in the fifth grade.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Well, which means I was in the third grade if you were in the fifth grade.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

That's probably about right, or fifth or so. And my mother, the call came from in the house. And by call I mean, Debbie, get in here. And it was my mom saying she'd been talking to Nancy's mom, and I needed to pick up the phone, the landline, and dial 822-8506 or 305 something, whatever it was.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

I didn't have my own line yet. It was 828-3749.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

And I had to call her and tell her, because I was older, that the gift that she was giving out for Christmas was cool. I didn't know what it was, nor did I care. I wasn't getting the gift. But I said, What is it? My mom was like, It's a cute little cup with like cool little pencils and stuff. And I was like, Okay.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

Christmas cup with Christmas pencils. And I was horrified. I didn't think it was cool. And my mom was a teacher, so she thought pencils.

unknown 34:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Yeah, and so I just say, Yeah, no, I think it's super cool that you're giving out, which hi, hey Nancy, it's Debbie Chesney. I just wanted to call and tell you, I heard no internet, but I just heard in the halls that you're giving out a pencil that's in a Christmas cup that's a bunch of pencils, that's really cool. And she said, if I remember correctly, did my mom tell your mom to call me? And I probably said 100% and checked off my list and now checked off yours, and that was it. Yeah, but the best.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Then I ran to my mom and said, Why did you call Wheezy Chesie and do that? I'm so embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Whatever that I'm sure there is something spiritual in that. Well, honor your parents. Honor your parents. Because look what it led to me getting on the Nancy Segreto podcast. That she laughed with Nancy Segreto. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Okay. What I love about what you do is so many things, but you know, even you were just saying that while others feel sad and they're grieving, and you go in and you help them in your own moments, because like you said, we all get that way. You and I both, and we and we trust him. And you know, Max Lucato gave a speech where he was like, Look, sometimes I'm like, is all this stuff real? It sounds real, you know, and I love that he said that. So, you know, when you are feeling overwhelmed or afraid or alone, and somebody else is out there feeling that way right now, and they're hearing this and they're going, Oh my gosh, I must not be enough. I'm doing it wrong. How you know, they feel like, how am I doubting him? I don't want to doubt. How would you tell them, what do you do when you have those moments? Because, like you said, we all do, all of us.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Sure, a lot. I first thing I tell when I'm dealing with people, or really myself, to answer your question. If I'm like in a funk and I'm like panicked about something and stirring myself up, you and I used to have a joke about uh sometimes you feel like a roach that's upside down and your legs are just like upside down turtle. Oh, turtle, roach, turtle.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

It's the same thing, it's a little bit funny.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

Um, but I put on worship music immediately. If I'm well, I'm always near it because it's on my phone. So worship music, worship music, or if you're in your car, put on a Christian radio station and just listen. For me, God speaks to me through music, Christian music, and regular music, actually. Uh, secular music, I should say. And so that's what I do is music, and then I try to make myself be surrounded by people of like-minded faith. Uh, like I'm gonna get on, I'm gonna text you and be like, what's up, there's a turtle upside down, and it's not interested in doing anything good for it. So do you want to go eat? Do you want to go drink? Do you want to go complain about something? It's not always I'm gonna get my Bible out, which it should be because that's where he's speaking.

unknown 37:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:59

Um sometimes it is, right? I mean, absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

Well, and that's part of go to somebody that's got the like-minded faith, they're gonna say, Well, don't you remember that so-and-so went through this in the book of Lamentations in 345? You know, I mean, there's that's why you surround yourself with people that are gonna fill your tank with the right stuff.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Yes, and I think that's so good. So yours is worship music. Worship music. And I think you also go on a walk with worship music.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Oh, yeah, I get, oh, yes, that's true. I do, I like to go on a walk on a like if I'm really down and out, I will be on a real long walk, like oh, weirdo, like Forrest Gump when he was like, I just walked and walked and walked, walked and walked. Then he had the beard. That's what I'm like. I I know if I'm walking for a really long time that I need to probably call Teresa Moore or you or someone that's like, hey, you're good on the two-hour walk there. Right. There you go. You walk in Austin. But yeah, I like to get out in nature. I do. I like to get out in nature. And by nature, I don't mean I'm going to Africa to go get out of the jungle. I mean just like streets of Alamo Heights because God'll point out stuff where I'm like, huh. That is weird that that tree grew from nothing. Oh, it didn't grow from nothing. Or the clouds or the stars or the something, the little stuff, like a squirrel or big thing, God uses with me, which is so bizarre, but he does.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Oh, I like that. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Yes, I think he kind of sends my grandmother to talk to me in a squirrel and Cindy Boynton. Whatever. I'm just saying. I was attacked by a squirrel also a long time ago. It was a whole situation. I punched myself out because it was on my forehead with the tulip rings. Remember, we all had the tulip rings, and so my head started bleeding. And I went, my dad had meet all the specialists and blah blah blah. And they said there's a tulip ring scar. Like whatever. Squirrel got off. Anyways, God uses the things that frighten you. Yes, and he does.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

See, that's people to hear how you manage that because, and that you actually feel that way because sometimes people will I'm not enough. I'm I shouldn't be, but to hear you know, our leaders of faith feel that way, I think is so comforting.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

We aren't enough, none of us are, none of us are, and look at what who God uses all through the Bible. Yeah, so besides like me and Crocker, what are you doing? Crocker, Michael Crocker is a pastor friend of mine here and Nancy's and my pastor. And we are very often saying things like, Wow, poor Jesus, he must just look down and be like, Well, that's what we got, that's what I'm using today in this tragedy. But he does, just like the olden days, like Abraham, Moses, all of them. I mean, King David, I mean, now we're terrible people. These dudes were bad news.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

I know, I know. I love that. And I mean, I think that's so important for us that as women, we tend to struggle with perfectionism and we can be performance-based. And so I think it's really good to hear that. And I think that God uses all different ways for us to engage with him because we he has all different kinds of kids, right? Like worship music works for you. Um, I get my app and I'm listening to one of my people that I follow, you know, one of their sermons, podcasts. Like this is a great one to listen to if you're struggling with anxiety. Um, you know, this one?

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Oh, this one. I forgot. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

What I do when I'm so sad is I put on the She Laughs podcast by Nancy featuring Nancy Segreto. Is that what you do? Featuring starring, starring Nancy Segreto.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

For our listeners that want to pray for you and your ministry, how can how can we pray for you in your ministry?

SPEAKER_01 41:41

That is the nicest thing. Hmm. Just that I hear I hear God and I respond in the right direction and in the right timing. I don't know. That's a really good question.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Well, I tell people tell people that want to, you know, maybe if you can let us know where people can connect with you or support your work, and then um, you know, they can they can reach out. How how can people just connect?

SPEAKER_01 42:08

That's a great question. All my stuff is just through my private stuff, but I have a newsletter that goes out once a year. If anybody wants that, I can absolutely send that to him. Tell us a little more about my work.

SPEAKER_03 42:19

Should they email you to get on your that's good?

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Thank you for thank you for figuring that out. I'm like, I don't know. Do you want them to come to my house? What are you getting? I wasn't prepared for this. I'm like, I guess tell them to come over.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

Okay, what is your email for those people listening that do want to? And I'll drop it in the comments, but in case there's drop it like it's hot.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Uh uh, let's use D Chesney C-H-E-S-N-E-Y 85 at gmail.com. And I'm I I'm happy to help anybody in any way. Yeah, I'm open to it's not just my community. I do stuff all over the place randomly. I've even done a couple. Yeah, well, that's enough. But yes, I do, yeah. It's not just my community. I'm happy to help anybody because I feel like God's put me in this role and he wants me helping somebody and he's gonna also call me out someone in El Paso and see you dad Worris.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

I mean, which he has he's not geospecific, neither are you, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:13

He is not, and neither am I. That's correct.

SPEAKER_03 43:14

Um, well, Debbie, thank you for sharing your heart and your wisdom and your ministry today. Your work is, I mean, such a beautiful reminder that God is present in every moment and in our greatest joys and in our you know lowest lows. And to our listeners, remember you are clothed with strength and dignity, and you too can laugh without fear of the future. Thank you, Debbie. You've been great. So thank you for being here today. And thank you for having me. Our listeners seriously reach out to Debbie. Um, it she's amazing, and I know that she will be so helpful to you. So thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you next time on the She Laughs Podcast. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

Thanks so much for listening to She Laughs. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with a friend who might need a little courage or a reminder that she's not alone? Every share helps more women find their inner cool girl and kick fear to the curb. You can find links to our guests, watch full episodes on YouTube, and connect with me on social at She Laughs Podcast Official. All in the show notes. And remember, the dream inside of you means something. Take the first step. Be brave. God's got your back. And girl, you've got this.