Faith Q+A with my Fiance!!

In this special q&a episode, Dayna is joined by her fiancé Danny as they answer your questions about their relationship and upcoming marriage. From what they’re most excited for in married life to navigating finances, living together, and how they knew they had found their forever, they share honest, faith-centered insight into this season. Together, they also talk about what it looks like to keep God at the center of their relationship as they prepare for marriage! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Buckle up besties. Welcome back to the podcast. My name is Dana, and this is Gospel to Go, the bite-sized Bible study you can take with you anywhere. I'm so happy that you are here, and today is a very special episode because we have a very special guest. My fiance, Danny. Do you want to introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hey, I'm Danny.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

And who you are?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 0:27

He's my fiance.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I'm Dana's fiancee.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

I guess I didn't introduce you as my fiance, but he is my fiance. We've been engaged for a little over a year, and we get married just over a month from now.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

50 less than 50 days.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

I think it's 49 days now, which is insane. It's insane. So I have a small announcement for you guys as well, just kind of floating off of that. As I just mentioned, we are just over a month out from the wedding, and I'm starting to get a little bit more stressed than I thought I would be. Um, and with that, I just wanted to take a small break from the podcast. I know that really stinks, but um, like I really went back and forth about it for a while because I don't want to give up the podcast. I don't want to take a break because I'm kind of nervous. Like, will I be able to get back into it? Like, will you guys still be here if I like leave you for a couple months? So I went back and forth about it, but I think it is definitely going to be the best just for my mental health, so I can really focus on like wedding planning and getting our honeymoon taken care of and things like that. Um, I still haven't had my shower yet, so there's just a lot like being looped into this next month and a half. So I am aiming to pick back up sort of probably towards the end of July. So there will be a brand new season starting. So this is um a good way to just kind of end, go out, you know, with a with a bang and um have a guest on. And then we've got some fun things that'll be planned for next season when I come back. But I figured I would let y'all know that this is going to be the last episode for a while, and I'll miss you guys. But this way I can pour a lot into my devotionals. Um, we'll still be up every week on Substack and then also podcast, um, I'm sorry, Instagram, like reels, TikToks, YouTube videos I'll still do here and there. So you won't be completely getting rid of me, but I just wanted to make that announcement that there won't be a podcast episode for a little bit. So I love you guys and I really appreciate y'all for understanding. Um, as always, I'm always available Instagram DM. I love when you guys message me. So reach out if y'all need anything, but are you ready to get into it, Daniel?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Okay. I posted on my Instagram story a couple days ago asking you guys for some questions, and we have some good ones. I actually probably should have planned which one I wanted to start with. Let's see. Um, mom, ma mom. Actually, let's just start with one of Maddie's because this is a good one, and we went over this a lot on my bachelorette. What is it like living with Dana?

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

I figured this would be an easy one to start with because I feel like you don't even really need to think about this.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

It it's been challenging, but also extremely rewarding. So I don't have any sisters. I never lived with girls before. Um girls are messy.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Dana's messy.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Girls are messy from what I've gathered. Um so it was definitely an adjustment. Uh, I always lived by myself, so having just I feel like anyone come in would have been like challenging for me to get used to. But it hasn't been a big deal. I I appreciate she does a lot of things. She she cooks dinner every night.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

I cook dinner and I'm also like getting onto my cleaning grind.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

She's starting to get on her cleaning grind.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

I'm entering my cleaning girl era because I want babies right away, so I need to prove that I can't.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

She needs to prove that she can be a stay-at-home mom one day.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

My dream.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

And she's she has not passed that test yet.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Um I just went ham on my Amazon cart, and I ordered all of these cleaning supplies, and I'm actually like so obsessed with the way my my house smells.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Like, yeah, it looks it looks good, but she's she's got some long I'm sure I'm not the easiest person to live with either, but because I have an agenda, I want to watch my sports, I want to do certain things, and I don't like it when I don't have that agenda.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

But I've got if I spin off that too, like a little bit. I I it's funny that Danny talks about how he was like always very independent, lived alone, like prior to this. I've always had a roommate, I've never lived alone, and I don't think I ever could. Maybe now that I'm a little more like more mature, but truthfully, I just never I'm very codependent and I like to have somebody with me almost at all times. So it was a little bit of a learning curve when we first moved in. I feel like I always just wanted to like cuddle on the couch, watch our show all night. And then we get to a point where Danny's kind of like, okay, like we spent a good three, four hours together. Like, I think I'm gonna go down and play video games. And it took a little bit of time for me to like get used to that, but now I really value that time at the end of the night where we've had dinner together, we watch a couple episodes of a show, we snuggle the dog if he's willing to lay down and snuggle us. Um, and then we go off separate ways. So Daniel usually go in the basement and play video games, and then I'll go into the room, like in a you know, and then you know, maybe watch my show or read a book. And I've really actually learned to love that quiet time with myself.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah, I I think it's important to still have your your individual time for yourself, but I think so too.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Okay, let's move on. So what are you most excited about in this new chapter of marriage?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I already feel like we're married to an extent. Um I know. Just with with it's I've we've only been together three years, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

That's crazy. It will be three years and what? Like a week. No, it's May 8th. Wait, I think May 8th is our anniversary.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

I think it's the following week. 13th, maybe I think it's the following week, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Okay, 13th or 14th, I think.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

It feels like we've been together longer. Yeah, it does. But honestly, I think it's no surprise. Like, I don't want to jump right ahead because being like married to together will be awesome. But I'm excited to like actually be married physically and be able to like try and start a family. I'm excited. I'm really excited. I've always like wanted to be a dad. Um I think kind of just how I was raised to like crying? No, I just itching my crying. Oh my god, I thought you were joking. No, no, I promise I'm not crying. I was itching my eye. But I think the way I grew up too, it's like the way I saw it was like you have mom, dad, kids, you know, they go to they go to Catholic or Christian school, you go to church on Sunday morning. Like, I'm excited to like start that kind of chapter as well. Obviously, it's like that takes time, but um, to get to that point where we're there. But I'm excited to just officially call, call you my wife.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

I was gonna say that's my is that's so weird that that's my most exciting. Like, I cannot wait to be like my husband, this, or like, oh, my husband does that. Like, I just like cannot wait to call you my husband. It's gonna feel so weird, but like good. And I'm also, of course, that's definitely my most exciting. Like, I can't wait to start a family. I I've just known, I mean, since I was like six, like I am made to be a mom. I cannot wait to be a mom. I cannot wait to like pour into my children, and I think it's gonna be really cool to have like a partner. Like, I've always been excited to do it, but I've never been excited the way I am, like now being in a relationship knowing I'm marrying you. Like it takes it the excitement to a whole nother level, like getting to be on a team with you to raise kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

It's gonna be so fun because challenging, but fun.

SPEAKER_03 7:44

Clear, like obviously, I've been in other relationships before, and I and there were like some relationships that actually made me not even want kids. And I remember thinking, like, that's so weird. Like, I've always wanted kids. Like, why am I changing my mind? And looking back, I know it was because of like who I was with was like kind of changing my mind. But when you pick a good partner and a solid, you know, person to have in your life with you, like tackling this, I mean, having kids is a huge task, and it's a lot to take on. And, you know, I'm just realizing that like it's it really is that important, like with who you pick. I mean, this this is the person that's gonna be standing next to you when you know you're gonna go through family deaths and traumatic events, hopefully not too many, but like they do happen, and like this is your lifelong partner. Like, you've got to make sure that who you're standing next to is like somebody who you trust with your life and you could do anything with.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

So that's fun. I think we're both excited for like kind of the same thing, just building a family and like having like barbecues in the backyard with our thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Just like, yeah, we're like we're getting married and entering like a different chapter of our lives with our friends having kids and their their kids are starting to grow up. It's just like it's a unique part of your life. So I'm excited to just kind of like fully go into like parent mode.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

All of our friends are popping out babies, and I'm so jealous. I'm like, wait, wait for us. Like, I want our I don't want our kids to be too far behind that they like get left behind, but they won't, they won't. I'm I'm really excited to like watch not only Danny become a dad, but like do stuff with our friends who are also parents and like get to see all of us in that environment together with the kids running around and like will our kids be friends and like will they be like it's just there's so much that's still yet to come. Like it's insane to me to think about how like some of the best parts of our life like will we even remember our life like without kids? Like it's just crazy to think about. We probably won't, and like here we are. So we got a lot of questions that are kind of along the same thing. So I'm just gonna ask this one. Um oh, just lost it. Hold on. Okay, how did you know you were right for each other? Like, how did you know you two were meant to be? Or and like someone else said, like, how did you know he was the one? So combining all of those together, I'll I'll go first this time because I feel like you answered the last ones first. So I rem I do vividly like remember the moment where it literally felt like a puzzle piece like kind of clicked. And I don't know if everyone has that, so don't like panic if you have never had that feeling. But those of you who had, like, you may understand what I'm trying to say. We were in the front yard of our house, and his parents were over, and we were like maybe doing something in the yard, like yard work or something, and we were still pretty fresh. So, for those of you that don't know, just to like catch you up on the timeline, Danny DM'd me on Snapchat. Wait, actually, hold on, back up really quick. So, Danny and I went to elementary school together. I think a lot of you guys know this story. We went to elementary school together, he was two grades above. Our elementary school was a like a town over, so there was a bus that picked us up from the other town that was specific. So, but honestly, that wouldn't have even mattered because we grew up in the same neighborhood anyway, regardless. Not even important.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

We rode the same bus to elementary school, okay, and I had a big crush on him because I oh no, he's having a bad dream. Oh, our puppy's having a bad dream.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Okay, so we um rode the same bus. I had a huge crush on him, and Danny just could not give me the time of day because he was in eighth grade, I was in sixth grade, and like I don't know, I guess eighth graders can't date sixth graders.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

So I was like, No, we're off to high school. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

So, anyways, I we go off on our separate ways to different high schools, yada yada. Social media comes out. We are, of course, friends on like Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and I got dumped, thank the Lord, in March of 2023, and he DMs me like two weeks later. Like, I was like going out with my friends for the first time, posted a selfie in the mirror, and lo and behold, who's swiping off of my story? Danny Cunningham. I'm like, what is this kid? Like, what? It's so weird, you guys. Like, I was just talking about this with my friend on my bachelorette party who is recently single. She's like, It's so weird how people randomly come out of the woodworks when you become single. Like, they don't know that you're single, though. Like, you did not know I was single. No, you just swiped up and you were just like fire or something. You put like a fire emoji. Slay. You said sleigh, you freaking weirdo.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

I was drunk playing music trivia with my friends.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

I love him. Classic Danny. So yeah, he slips, he slides up. I'm like, whatever, I'll give this guy a chance. He asks me to go to dinner. We kind of catch up, and I'm like, okay, well, obviously, this guy's like not gonna be a serial killer. Like, I know where he, you know, his parents live. Like, I know him enough, but not well enough to like, it would still be good practice to go on a first date. That's messed up. So I was like, okay, I felt comfortable like being alone with this guy, but like it'll be good to just like also kind of catch up. And by the second date, I think we were just like we were rolling, okay. We were like ready to go. But going back to the the question, so that happens. Um, March he DMs me, April. We have a couple dates, May we've officially become boyfriend, girlfriend. This was probably you bought your house then in what June? You closed at the very end of June.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Closed in June, got moved in July.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

He closed in June, moved in in July. I would say probably by like the fall, we were doing some sort of like event in the front yard. I don't remember what. And just the way it was either the way that his parents were talking to me or I was talking to his parents. I had this like click where I was like, I feel comfortable, but it's like a level above comfortability. Like I feel like they're my family already. Like it was like this feeling of like, yeah, they always were going. It was like a reassurance, it's like literally like a voice in my head was like, Yes, like these are your family. Like this is who is going to be your family. I I don't know how to describe it without sounding seriously insane, but I just remember thinking, like, I just fit in. Like I've never fit in anywhere before in my life. Like the family gets me, I get them, I love them. And now that won't always happen with in-laws. I'm I'm very, very lucky. And I would hope Danny probably say the same too. Danny gets along very well with my brother and my dad. And my dad's kind of hard to get along with, so I've always been a little bit nervous about like if he would mesh good with my future husband. And like seriously, it just freaking clicked. And I was like, this it, this is it. I remember thinking this is it, or maybe like this is the one. Like, I remember thinking that in my head, like, yeah, that like this is definitely it. I I don't know. I don't know if anyone's else has had like any sort of experience like that, but or and you probably even didn't even have really an ex like you probably didn't have like a moment, like no, no, I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Um so just to pig back off of you, yes. Um I could I could see from like looking back, like how my parents and family like kind of welcomed you in, and and same with yours, like your your brother, your mom, your dad, your aunts and uncles, they all welcomed me. It just felt like a more mature relationship than anything I'd ever had before. Because I'd been I'd been single a long time.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

So, Danny, that wasn't that was one thing that I think pushed me off a little bit um from Danny at the at the first. You know this. We went on our first date and I found out he'd been single for six years. And I'm like, seven years. Now, granted, you guys remember we're older, so when we met, I was 28, I think, or 27, 27, I think, even younger, 26. It was three years ago, and I'm 29. I was 26. Okay, yeah. So, and then you were 27 or 28.

unknown 15:15

Yeah, 28.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

So, anyways, when we met, we're I don't know. So, at this point, I'm like, holy cow, you haven't had a girlfriend since you were 22. I was like, at this point, 22 just seems like a lifetime ago for me. I had had like two or three boyfriends since I was 22, and it was just hard for me to like grasp because I'm kind of a serial dater and Danny took some time off, which round of applause. What a king, what a man, found himself. Worked on myself, love that for you. And at first I was like, what's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Worked on myself, worked on my career.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

Yes, and hallelujah, seriously, praise the Lord. Like, that's exactly what he needed and I needed out of him, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Like, so but going going back to um the moment I knew, so I it's not that I like didn't try to like talk to other girls, date other girls when I was single, but I always felt like I didn't feel good, like I was never like fully immersed in any of these conversations I had or what I was doing. It just didn't feel right. It felt like your typical like college fling or like a hookup or whatever it may be. Like I just I liked and cared for a lot of those people, but I just knew there wasn't a lot of things. It was always just surface level. It was very surface level. And like the conversations I had, because again, I was still working on myself, I was still like in my career, like um moving, like doing a bunch of stuff, and like I felt as if talking to these other girls or going on these dates, like just added stress, added pressure. I didn't want to like like honestly, I canceled on plans, I stopped talking to people, like I just didn't have like I wasn't emotionally invested. And it was different with Dana, like again, right off the rip, we kind of were both feeling each other out. We're like, oh, okay, we'll go out, we'll see what this is like. Like, it'd be good to catch up regardless. And it took some time, it took like multiple dates, and we had we had some really good dates and experiences, but I think the reason like I knew like regardless of if she upset me or if like we got in a fight, like she she quieted the noise for me, like she made me feel better. Like, I always wanted to talk to her. Um, even when the tank was on zero, like yeah, I still wanted to to to share how my day was and hear about hers. You know, driving home from work, I'd want to call her and talk about literally anything, even though you like talk on the phone for your job all day. Like, I I found myself wanting to do things that I I hadn't before and like being comfortable with being uncomfortable. And again, I I said it before, but I think the relationship just felt more it felt more mature, like our conversations where there was more depth to them. Um definitely.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

And the word that keeps coming to mind for me is effortless.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, it just came natural.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

You know how many dates and people I dated for eight, nine, ten months that I still felt like so stressed when I had to put on an outfit. Like, what am I gonna wear? Like, are they gonna like this? Are they gonna call me pretty? Like, Danny, I just in the best way ever don't care. Like, even we were getting ready for I know that sounds bad, but like for our third date, I'm just like I'm excited to instead of like I'm so stressed, I need to pick out an outfit, I need to go buy something new. Like, I was excited to pick something out and I couldn't wait to put it on because I knew he would think I was pretty, and he didn't even have to tell me I looked good. Like, it's what he showed me, and like his face, his face just lights up. Like you can tell he is like, he doesn't even have to say anything. And I feel like with all my other guys, I just was always chasing, chasing, like, well, aren't you gonna tell me I look good? Or like, are you happy in the relationship? Like, we don't even really have conversations like that because we just know. Yeah, I just know you're happy. Like, I don't know, and like maybe we should, I'm sure, like down the line we'll have to have little meetings, like, hey, checking in, like, we still we still good, like, are you still feeling loved?

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Like, I know that that's something But it's funny because uh a couple I won't share names, but like a couple of the other couples that we know that are married, some of my my friends, like who you can tell are effortlessly in love together. They have beautiful families. You'll talk to like my I'll talk to my buddy, be like, Yeah, I haven't talked to Jamie in a couple days. Oh shit. I just but um or I haven't talked to I I haven't talked to him in a couple days. It's like they just completely trust, they completely know that they're their person.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

No, and that's a good thing. It's not like we're saying anything like negative. Like that is so true. Like we don't really need to like regroup and like you know, like look up to the I admire their I know the specific couple that you're thinking of right now. I admire their relationship so much. Like, you're right, like it's like we don't even really need to like I don't know. And again, like I think that that could be maybe like frowned upon. Like, I'm sure it's very to check in, but like, yes, but like we do. I just completely I trust you in the relationship. I don't feel like I ever need to like look at where what you're doing. Like, when was last time Danny was active on Instagram? He hasn't texted me back in three hours. Like, never once has that crossed my mind. Never once have I thought, oh, I need to check his location. Like, unless you're like coming home late from work and I'm worried about you. Like, I just checked to like make sure you're moving and grooving and everything's you're safe. But never once am I like, like I was all worried that I was gonna start having like anxiety when you were away on your trip. Like, no, I was so happy for you. I was living through your guys' photos. I was just like having such a fun time, like admiring from afar. Like, and I knew you had I just I love your friends so much. I love your family. Like, my brother was there, his brother, his cousins were there. Like, I love them all to death that I knew that he was taken care of and that he was probably having the time of his life, and I was just living through the photos of like his trip. Never once was there an ounce of like worry. It's just I trust you, and I don't even what question are we even on?

SPEAKER_01 20:58

What was we talking about? How'd you know we were the like yeah? We looped them in.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

It's effortless, and we're just yeah, we I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yes, I feel like that's you'll you'll know, trust me.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

You will definitely know, and then you'll think you'll know, and then you'll actually know, and you'll be like, oh wow, like I definitely know. Um, what helps you stay kind to each other even during normal stress? I remember you talked about this a little bit, like when you were saying, you know, that you get like you know, work obviously can stress you out, and like typically when you come home, you know, it it it could start to pile on, and I think a lot of times people may struggle with like wanting to shut down. Um, but I think we do a really good job of handling that. I think we know when the other one is stressed. You can probably speak to that because my stress is very much extrovert, like I definitely show my stress more than you do. Um so we actually did as part of our like pre Kana um Pre Kana, you guys I know I've talked about this before, but pre Cana, you know, we're getting married in the Catholic Church, and we did a little bit of like almost like a retirement. Treat sort of situations, and then we're going to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

It's a retreat, and then we did some like personality tests, and it's like how do you identify and understand people's like personalities and how to approach different situations? How you interpret something might be different than how somebody else does, etc. It's a really good exercise. I I think we I've d I did it in like psych classes in college and stuff too, but um I think to answer that question, it's overly communicate how you're feeling. Like there's days where I'll come home from work and she can probably tell that like I had a long day, or I'll again if she can't tell, I over-communicate and say, Hey, just so you know, like if I seem off, I just had a really long day, I'm really tired. Um, let's watch our shit. Like, and then I'm fine. Like, once I just have an opportunity to like kind of decompress and communicate it, like she knows like not to hit me with a thousand different things. Um, and likewise, good same goes for her. Like, I'll come home and I can tell like she's got a million things going on. It maybe it's not the best time to bring up something. Like, we just know each other's triggers and what annoys each other, and it's not that we don't address it, we just we table it for that day or that moment where we're overwhelmed and we save it for another conversation. Or like it's okay to spend time apart too.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Like it is, it really is. Obviously, not too much time, but and if something's bothering you, don't bother bottle it up. But I think it's okay to just you have to, again, this goes back to like picking the right partner. If you can't communicate with your partner and say, listen, I had a stressful day, you know, it has nothing to do with you, but I just need to like kind of be on my own tonight, or I need to maybe go out and have dinner with a girlfriend, or I need to, you know, have a glass of wine in my book, you know, in the bathtub or something, and and they get upset with you about that, like that's just not your person. Like, you need somebody that you need to be able to communicate with um and can grow and and help, you know, encourage each other to be the better versions of yourself. And again, it does come down to also like being comfortable with your partner. I'm I'm very comfortable being stressed around Danny, and I know that Danny can de-escalate my stress because I am a very, I come from kind of a stressful household. Like, I think everyone in my family definitely, I know we had this conversation on our retreat. Like, I think the way that my household like handled stress growing up is just different than yours. And I'm very outwardly like, if I'm stressed and you are around me, you will know. Like, I am like a chicken with its head cut off. You kind of internalize, so I think we do a good job like balancing each other out. I am um, I just want to tell this story because I think it's funny because you were like talking about how you know when to like not ask me a question if I'm like overstimulated or like stressed. But my mom was just over. We were putting together like a few things for the uh bridal shower that's coming up in like two weeks. So we were doing like flower arrangements and we were like cutting ribbon for like a bow, and it was just all these things. And Danny's sitting on his phone, and he's like, Oh, cool, they put a little cafe in play like down the street from us. And I'm like, Oh, it's so fun. Like, I have a friend in Florida who goes to one and they just look so cozy and cute, and I can't wait to have kids and take them to things like that. And I love that there's gonna be one down the street, like hopefully in a couple years when we have kids, like you know, and he's like, Yeah, it's just so cool. And he's telling me about it, and I'm like trying to find scissors for my mom, and then I'm trying to like we're we were like testing out a cocktail for you know, my signature cocktail at the wedding, and like she's trying to like ask me where the flowers are gonna go and all this stuff. And Danny's like, come look at this cafe and plate. And I'm like, Danny, I don't have time to come look at the cafe, like this is not the task at hand right now. Like, this is not what needs to be done. And it's just like we have that relationship. My mom is cracking up. Like, we have that relationship where I can be like, Daniel, this is not like this is not the time. And did I go over and see it? Yes, I did. But like I looked at it for a second, you and then you tabled it because you're like, okay, I can show her this at any moment, but right now annoying her.

unknown 25:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

So it's just it's just nice that you know, like, how to read that. Um, I want to combine both of these. I, Maddie, if you're listening, you're so great for always asking questions, but sometimes I can't tell if Maddie's questions are sarcastic, but I think you could speak to this a little bit. I want to combine two of them. Obviously, I've tried really hard to um like announce to you guys or or share with you guys that like the reason I feel like I've really dove deep into my relationship with God this last year is because I want to prepare my heart for marriage. I think it's helped a lot inviting God into my my own life because I've, you know, Danny and I have grown in our relationship with God together, which we'll talk about a little bit in a second. But she also asked you, what will it take for you to quit your nicotine addiction? My friends on this podcast know that you are a zinner. And um we had talked about how, like, that's just something that like we want to work on. So I think I will share with you guys right now. I want to answer this question. Danny knows that it's very important to me that when we go to start a family, like that we clean that up a little bit, maybe, because I've heard some scary stories, and he is being very, very um receptive to that. And he's trying out some non-nicotine pouches. So if anyone knows any, like if you guys have ever been on that journey or any of your husband's boyfriends, brothers, dads have been on that journey. Why did you just give me that look?

SPEAKER_01 26:59

You said husbands, boyfriends.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

I got it was like No, not at the same time. I thought it was no, no, no. Like if they have husbands or boyfriends, not and. Okay. Um, and so yeah, we're monogamous here, obviously. But it's um, you know, just shoot me a DM and let me know. Because we are trying to find like a nice like pouch to kind of wean him off. I don't think that that's anything to be ashamed of. I think nicotine is a a huge problem nowadays.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Do people know like it was full-blown tobacco? Correct.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Danny played baseball semi pro like I would literally call him a professional. No, you you grew up playing baseball and every freaking you went to did it in high school, you did it in college.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

I mean, I was not very good by the end of it. But you just I chewed and and dipped for ten ten plus years.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

We don't hide our sins here. They know that I was a ratcheting.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

So it it took it took a lot for me just to get off of tobacco, which is actually extremely harmful for you. Correct. Um so for me when I quit like four years ago, five years ago, um and went to nicotine only, like the Zinn or Rogue pouches, that was a big step for me. And it took a while for me to stay stay the course there. So while it's probably still not the safest alternative, I still give myself credit for getting off of the actual bad tobacco stuff. Um and I did tell myself as I like start was going to get married and started a family that I was going to try and wean myself off of off of nicotine.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

I'm sure you could be doing worse. So it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Yes, I could be doing worse, but um it is a work in progress, and I'm trying to find alternative solutions. I think I tried alpha pouches.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Not so good.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I got four mark hands. I don't know how I'm gonna get through them. So if you have any recommendations, um I know like grinds, grinds is one, it's like coffee pouches.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

That might be good.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Uh I tried that uh in college to get off of it, didn't last. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Yeah, I think I well, I just wanted to say I think that's very admirable that you are trying, and you know that that's something that's important to me, and that you know, you've you're you're working on your you are, you're bettering yourself too. And I just wanted people to know that because um I think I have grown in the last year inviting God into my life. I think that it's made a huge difference um in my life, and I know Danny is working on his relationship with God too, and again, we'll get into that in a little bit, but um, I just wanted to point on that because I love you and I think you're doing a great job. I love you too, thank you. How many kids do you want in the future? We haven't agreed.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

So I think the safe the safe bet is to start with two.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

What? Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

Like two is the safe, two minimum. Two minimum.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

No, I think three.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

I would prefer, I would prefer three.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

I would prefer so I was gonna say we're somewhere between three and four. Wouldn't you agree?

SPEAKER_01 29:58

That yes, but I want to start with two and make sure that I don't lose my mind.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Because Dinger counts as a child, although he is going away to training soon, which makes mama shy.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

He's going off to the war.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

He is, he's getting shipped off to boot camp um while we're at our wedding, which will be honestly so sad. Like, we're gonna miss him so freaking much. But I cannot wait. We'll miss parts of him. I cannot wait for him to come back and then be able to like finally put throw pillows on my couch again and like buy a new couch because ours is yep, eaten to shreds. Like, I mean, he's so bad, but he's just so freaking cute. Anyway, we have enough, you know, rough times with just one dog. So we're hoping two will be great. I'm sure it will. And then if you know, we can keep going. I would love to have four, but I will settle at three.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

As long as my body is okay with it. Yeah, but God will give me the grace. Are you combining finances once you're married? Has your faith journey changed this?

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Faith journey has not changed it. I think it's always something something that I I was going to do, but it's also based off of how I was raised. Like my parents have joint accounts, they have individual accounts and joint accounts, which I think is what I expect. Yeah, I would assume we would do these. We would do the same. We'd have like our own little funds, and then we'd have a joint fund. Um I will say the the pre-Kena program and the uh retreat that we went to, and and they offered a lot of extremely resourceful resourceful information about like percentages of what to contribute, maybe from your paycheck to have like emergency funds or you know, start saving together for kids education or or what uh whatever. Um but it's just nice to have a joint account with both your names on it. So I think that is something that we will definitely do, but it is not I think I was gonna do it regardless. I just think the the program that we were in helped helped explain it a little better on why it's why it's helpful.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

Yeah, I think um for me, like deepening my faith has in turn deepened my like trust in my relationship, of course, with Danny. And not that I never didn't trust him, but I think that I was always weary about combining finances growing up just because I have always been the one that makes less. Um and that's not even really the case anymore. I mean, we're both very from the very very beginning, Danny and I have been very, very open about our finances and what we make. Like that's never been a secret or anything. Um, and now I'm kind of seeing, you know, I I guess I I guess I used to be very like self-conscious, like, you know, if he made more than me, like, well, I will like I'd be scared to spend like our joint money because he's technically putting in more money than I am to it. And like, is that gonna make me feel inferior? Is that gonna make give him any power? Like, it's just kind of like some trauma I have, I think, just from like the past. And um, I don't feel like that with you. Number one, I think you're very, like, we're both very giving to one another and everything's kind of already combined. So I don't think that that will be an issue. Um, this is a question pretty much just for me. How did you start your social media journey? So I've talked about this a little bit before, but I did have a fitness account um a couple years ago. I started in 2020 when I was trying to lose weight, one of the million times that I've tried to be on that journey. Um, but I was running a mile every single day, gained some followers from that, then started falling in love with fitness, got my personal training certification in 2022, I think. Started at Orange Theory, became a coach, kind of documented that journey. Um, and on that old account, it was day by Dana. Um, I had a good significant amount of followers, like 75,000 followers or something, which was awesome. Brought me some cool opportunities. Um, but then I decided I was like, I don't, I've outgrown this. Once I left Orange Theory, I had kind of outgrown it. I didn't really want to post about fitness. It was kind of ruining that journey for me and like my enjoyment revolving fitness because I felt like every time I did anything at the gym or cooked anything, like I had to film it. And it was just taking kind of all the all the love out of it for me. So I was like, I want to create a different account. So didn't really have a niche for this new account when I made it. And one day I just feel like God put it on my heart to document my faith journey because I knew that I was going to be getting um more like diving deeper into my faith. And as you can tell, probably with how I said, you know, I documented running a mile every day and learn losing weight. Like I feel like documenting journeys has always kind of been my thing. So when I started diving deeper into my Bible, I was like, well, I guess I'll post about it. And I have a lot of podcasts on that, just how like scary it was and the uh, you know, purpose of obedience and just like the things that can come out of that once you're obedient to God. And I think it's just really cool that he's using this um passion that I have for creating content, like to um be all for his glory, which is which is amazing. So Danny doesn't really have any social media. I mean, well, he has social media, but not nothing like um like where I'm at. But I know, you know, for a second we did have a combined Danny and Dana page that we used to have so much fun posting on, and I don't know, we just kind of stopped making videos on it.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Got busy.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

We got really busy, man. The wedding has taken over so much more of our lives than we ever thought it would, but it's cool, it's gotten us close together. So um, these two sort of go together. Please give advice on cultivating an intimate relationship with God. And the other one was love to hear what faith means to both of you separately and then also within your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

It's a lot. So I'll tell you a little bit, I'll kind of just explain like my journey.

SPEAKER_03 35:23

Yeah, because I this is one more I want to loop into that. What made y'all uh get into learning about Jesus?

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Yeah, so um I was born and raised uh Catholic, had a very uh like church every single Sunday as a family was a ritual. Um 12 12 years of Catholic school. Um so I always learned and knew about Jesus, but that was like that was the normal environment that I was in um when I was living in their household, when I was going to school every day. I was kind of like almost forced to to be in front of that uh faith and and and in Jesus discussion. But I think I kind of lost faith a little bit um college and and early 20s, probably like most people do.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

I was gonna say, I, as you guys know, like that's literally the same thing as my family.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Um when again, when you don't have to go to church every Sunday because you're not living with your parents, or you don't have to go to Catholic high school or Catholic grade school. Um, you know, that that wasn't a choice that I made for myself, it was the choice that was made for me. I think um I've always been faithful, I've always prayed. Um I always um I I can't say how often a week I pray, um, or if it's daily. I mean some days are more than next, and I I I used to you're saying now or like back in college? Now to or probably now.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Um but I think what I've n noticed since like dating and and being engaged today not marrying I used to pray to like ask for things or like ask for safety or ask for health or ask for that promotion or ask for these things or now it's just like I think I've shifted more so to just be like, hey, whatever happens, I'm cool with because it's part of your plan. Just just help me get through it or give me the courage to get through it, and whatever happens from there, just let me do my best, or let Dana and I do our best in this situation, or whatever I'm praying. I'm not asking for stuff specifically anymore.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

I'm more so just like just praying to pray, like just pray to pray, look over me, watch over me.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

I appreciate the opportunity that I'm in to even be here. Yeah, so I think that's the shift that I've had since I've kind of come back to my faith. Um I also thought it was extremely important. Like I lucked out with Dana, like I wanted to marry someone who was who has faith and who wants to go to church on Sundays, who wants like I wanted someone to hold me like accountable to get back into the church too. Yeah. And I think I just lucked out that Dana's kind of in the last especially in the last couple years, has just really found found her voice and and found her path. But um, but yeah, that's that's kind of what faith, faith has become for me.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

It used to just be something that I just kind of had to do, and now it's like a choice. And it's very, and I'll tell you guys too, like it's very im it's very different when you find it on your own, sort of. For any of you guys who've like, just like us, grew up Catholic or grew up going to church just kind of because it was routine, you don't really know why you're there, you're just doing it because mom dragged you or whatever it is, or you know, you're going for the wrong reasons, you're going because your friends are there, or you know, you want to see the cute boy that sits in the pew next to you, or you want to put on your new dress, like those are all the wrong reasons, right? So when you find it on your own, it's completely life-changing. And I just encourage you that maybe just kind of stuck, might be right now, maybe stuck in the rut or in the routine to really dig deep and journal or pray or reflect on you know why I'm actually going and do is this actually what I believe and what I want to do.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Um but how do we cultivate in our relationship? I think um I think the biggest thing we've done is like we when there's there's major decisions to be made or there's big things happening, like we pray on those decisions, we talk to God and and and Jesus uh about those situations that arise. Whereas before it's like you kind of just consult with one another and you make a decision and whatever happens, but like I think now we recognize like to truly be and and and thanks to our our our pastor for kind of talking through some of these examples with us.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

For sure, he's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

But like Jesus is part of the marriage.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

Um yeah, like a marriage, it's three. Like it's that's the three of us.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

It's the three of us. So like when we're making decisions or or or talking through things, it's it's okay to like slow down, include him, pray on it, make decisions. And I think that's kind of how we've integrated him more regularly into our daily lives. Um, I still think we're not perfect. I think we have an opportunity to pray more together. Uh thank thank him for more. Um again, it's we you need to find time to slow to slow down and and and still and still pray and and and um include him in in your live. And I think right now with everything going on, we've probably not been as good about it.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

We get a little too like you gotta be careful to not get like stuck in the busyness of it because like he's still he's still showing up for you, like when you're super busy. So it's like we gotta show up for him. And yeah, I definitely agree we can do better as like to you know, praying as a couple. And like this other question says, how do you navigate your relationship with God and with your partner? I think we both have like very unique, obviously, relationships with Jesus like are on our own. And then I think we do a good job of like, you know, inviting him in as well. So it's just it's important to have, you know, your own relationship, your unique relationship with the Lord. Pray to him on your own. Um, and then also just don't forget to invite him in. It's it's it really takes three. And um, you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be here, you wouldn't wake up in the morning, you wouldn't have your partner if it weren't for him. So don't forget to include him. Um, two more questions, and then we're gonna skedaddle. This is one more that's sort of directed more towards me. I think. How do you study your Bible and how do you find new topics to talk about on the podcast? Like, seriously, by the grace of God, like honestly, I I rarely ever um have a week where I'm like, what am I gonna talk about? Because something is always going on in my life where I'm like, hmm, feeling a little like overwhelmed this week, or I'm feeling kind of down this week, or I'm feeling like I'm having this, you know, obstacle, or you know, maybe I saw a video that had a really good like plot in it or a good lesson, and I'm like, I want to talk about that on the podcast. And then I'll usually like either go like using my resources, using the internet, whatever it is, find, you know, good um verses that may help. So I'll go into the verse and I'll dive into my Bible and kind of pull some verses to read to you guys, and then I'll kind of talk about the lesson that I learned, whether it's something I'm going through and what I learned from it, or maybe I mean you guys know I'll reference a video, um, kind of talk about what that that taught me. And so that's kind of how I I decide on um, you know, on on what the topic that we're gonna talk about. Um and I I freaking love it and I'm gonna miss you guys so much.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Like you don't have to take off too.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

I know, but I I'm like kind of thinking like I know I can't do it every week. So then it's like, do I commit to doing every other like every other week? Well then it what if like the one podcast falls on a week where I'm like just extra busy? Like I almost feel like I can't be, I need to be either not or like like all in or not at all kind of thing. I don't know. Maybe I'm like wondering if I'll pop in for a surprise episode if I get.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

You can't just not do another one before you even get married.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

You should do one more.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

Why don't I do one more, you guys, and I'll pop in randomly in early June and give you guys an update. And then we'll go from there. I'm just like thinking, like, there's gonna have to be breaks. Like, we I can't record one on the on the honeymoon.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Like, there's just be my non-nicotine.

SPEAKER_03 43:16

Our mail's getting delivered. Okay. Last question: any dating advice for young Christians? We talked about this a little bit before we started. And I was like, if I I'm thinking about this, like if I was looking at 17-year-old Dana.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:35

We've been, yeah, we've we've definitely had our uh our fair share of bad choices we made. And I'm not just saying with who we dated, but like just I mean, other just drinking, sex, like just things that we were doing that just are not helping us be our best selves. But also like what else are you gonna do at seventeen? Like correct.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

It's it's it's finding it's finding a balance of like having fun. Having fun, but being smart with the decisions that are being smart and like not forgetting about Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 44:04

Like I would say seriously, from age like, let's say, I'm gonna go fifteen to twenty-three, like Jesus was not even in. I mean, I was like praying occasionally, but like not once was I feeling bad about the poor decisions that I was making. And I think that had I included Jesus more and like had the mindset that I do now, it'd be different. But then I'm thinking, okay, well, is that just maturity? Like I'm 29 years old now. Of course I have a better like head on my shoulders. But if I had just had my faith a little bit more when I was younger, I think I would have chosen people, not just boys, but friends, friends, boys, relationships of all kinds, like would have chosen people that would have made me feel better. Like you're not gonna have someone come into your life. I mean, you are, you are gonna have people that come into your life that treat you poorly. Um, you have to kind of sit down and ask yourself, is this really someone that Jesus, you know, sent me? Like, is this someone who's who's genuinely supposed to be in my life? Like I don't think that this is a relationship from God, you know?

SPEAKER_01 45:03

I would say it's it's very cliche, but but truthfully listen to your listen to your parents and your and your and your family.

SPEAKER_03 45:13

Like listen to your mom.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

If you like I look back and there was there's some things that I've done in the moment that I didn't care about, but I reflected back on later in life, and I was like, I didn't really feel good about doing that afterwards. There's a reason you don't like it's human nature to feel bad about something that you probably shouldn't have done.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

For sure. But like reflect on that, don't run from so like when you do something wrong and then you start to feel guilty about it or you feel that sort of conviction, like stewing. I mean, I used to get so it was I was numb to it because I'd push it away and I'd be like, well, if I just don't think about it, then it didn't happen. Correct. But if you sit there and you are honest with yourself and you like reflect, and I know it sounds silly, but like journaling or typing out on your notes app, whatever it is, like reflect on how you're feeling after you made this. It's okay to make mistakes, guys. Like you have to make mistakes. That's how you do it. You literally have to make mistakes. But what do you do after the mistakes happen? Like, do you learn from it or do you continue to do it and make yourself feel like crap?

SPEAKER_01 46:07

That's that's the difference. There were things that I did that I I learned from that I was like, hey, I I'm not going to associate myself with this act or this person anymore because this is how I feel after I do it. Yeah. And it took me sometimes a year or two years to realize the mistake that I was making. But then I also like I was better for it now, and I think it it set me up for success later in in life. Um it kind of helped me identify like what I want, what I don't want. Um there's there's a lot of teachings to be had. You learn so so all of your my life lessons I feel like happened from mistakes. From mistakes and from the ages of like 14 to like 21.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

Yeah, it's okay. And it's okay if you're 24, 25, 28, 34 right now, listening to this, and you're still in the era of making mistakes. Like, we're always gonna make mistakes.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

There's still stuff that I do.

SPEAKER_03 46:59

There's gonna be things. I mean, think about like we were just talking about this at the beginning. Like, we're not even to the point where we're having kids. Like, there are gonna be so many mistakes that we make. And like, that's why it's important to one, have Jesus always at the center and always be like, like, Jesus, take the wheel, help me, right? And also to reflect because again, what you what you do with like what you've learned, it's all gonna make you, you know, who you're who you're becoming, and it's important. And I mean, yeah, it's taken me like a year to even think about wow, I really need to cut out the drinking. Like, it doesn't make me feel good. You know, I've been drinking you guys for what 10 years at least. Like, what like I just feel like I've known for 10 years that the next day I feel like crap, I gain weight, my face gets puffy, I'm I'm have anxiety. Like, you would think that I would have cut it out earlier, but it's taken me that long to be like, oh, like this actually is you know not a good this doesn't make me feel good, and to change it.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Last last advice for for like more specific on dating as a young guy.

SPEAKER_03 48:04

Yes, that's yeah. Sorry, we kind of went off track.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

We we went off track. Um some of the things that I talked about with how I knew Dana was the one you're gonna have your like your I don't know your your nuances or your things that are gonna stick out to you that are important to you when you're looking for someone to date. But just be true to your authentic self. Don't let somebody change you. Yeah. If if you don't feel heard or you don't feel comfortable sharing how you feel with somebody, they're probably not the right person. Yeah. If if they're putting you in situations that you're not comfortable in, they're probably not your person. If they're forcing you to make like you have to do or be some type of way, they're not your person. No. If they if they truly cared about you and loved you, they accept you for who you are, they communicate how they feel, and you still might fight, you might get in arguments, but like You might cry like that next day if they're still there for you and they're talking to you, like you know that's probably the right person.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

Like, I have been with so many people who have made, you know, boys that have made me cry, and like there are I there's times that you've made me cry, but like right away you've made like and it's because Danny has a quick mouth, which I appreciate because I do too. Sometimes when we get frustrated, it's like boom, it's zero to a hundred, like with what we say with our words, and we're working on it. Um but sometimes he'll just say something that just like hurts my heart and I'll just cry, but right away, like we know, like I I never okay, I felt hurt before by Danny, but never once have I not felt loved or have I felt abandoned. Like, we were just watching a reality show this week where someone was telling a story about how like she was crying and her boyfriend had gone out to like party with his friends and just kind of left her in the room. I've been in that relationship where like I'm very clearly visibly upset and like they don't, they just don't care. And Danny, like Danny would drop anything that he was doing if I was upset with something. He's never made me feel like my you know moodiness or my anxiousness or my you know depressive episodes or whatever I'm going through at the time have ever felt like inferior. Like he is always, always there for me, and I've always felt loved. So again, there's a difference between like getting in fights and and you know, arguing and maybe crying every once in a while, feeling a little bit sad, feeling down. But at the end of the day, like you'll know if it's still out of love. Like you're like, I still love this person, you know. Like this person doesn't make me feel small or you know. So I think you know, it's important. And again, you know, if you're young. If you don't know, pray on it, always pray on it. And if you're young, you know, there the chances are you know, someone that you're dating at 17, 18, it might not be your husband or your wife, and that's that's okay. Um you know, so it's okay to to date and to break up and date someone else. Um, I don't really remember where I was going with this, but essentially, um, you know, just keep again staying true to yourself and the right person will come. You have to be your authentic self when you attract this person, or it's not going to be your person. It won't work. You gotta be careful with it. But yeah, I think that's pretty much I think that was our last question. Ever a lot of the questions were very similar. So I hope that that gives you guys a good um, a good rundown. We're almost at an hour, which is good. We haven't had a I haven't put out a long episode in a long time. So I hope you guys are in are you know enjoy it. And I will try to get at least one more episode out before what I can just do it for you.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

Grims don't need to do anything for the wedding. So I'll just I'll just host the podcast without Dana.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

I wish I could have you just step in, but I will miss my girlies. Um, you guys, as always, if you uh you know, if you love this episode, uh give it a thumbs up. Make sure to follow the podcast, especially because I might not see it for a couple weeks. So um I appreciate you all so much for coming um over to the podcast today. Danny just showed me his notification.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Oh, yeah. My uh my nicotine-free pouches were delivered. So you're welcome. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

We will have to update everyone on your loosey goosey pouches and see if those are I can't believe they're called that.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

They're either gonna be elite or horrific.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

We'll have to update them. Um, but yeah, you guys, I I love you guys so much for being here. Thank you so much. Share a podcast, share this podcast with a friend who may be um struggling on their journey or maybe trying to get back into their journey. And as always, I love you so much, and Jesus loves you. I will see you soon.