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Mom of Sons™ "Faith Conversations"
The Mom of Sons Podcast is a space for real conversation, steady encouragement, and honest faith for moms raising boys. Each episode speaks to the heart of motherhood. The tender parts, the loud parts, the funny moments, and the moments that keep you praying.
Mom of Sons™ "Faith Conversations"
From The Playground to Brotherhood!
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From The Playground to Brotherhood: Faith, Friendship & Growth
What does lasting friendship look like in a world where relationships often come and go?
In this special episode of Mom of Sons™: Faith Conversations, host Beverly Taylor Wells sits down with four remarkable young men, Jaeden Wells, Brandon Smith, Noah Lynch, and Desmond Mitchell, who have been best friends since the first grade and are now thriving as college students and young adults.
Together, they share an inspiring and meaningful conversation about friendship, faith, growth, loyalty, and brotherhood. They reflect on the experiences that shaped their bond, the challenges they've faced, the lessons they've learned, and the importance of surrounding yourself with people who encourage you to become your best self.
This episode offers a powerful perspective on positive male friendships and the role that faith, family, and community play in helping young men navigate life with purpose and integrity.
Whether you're a parent, mentor, young adult, or someone who values authentic relationships, this conversation will encourage and inspire you.
Featured Scripture: Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."
Join us for a heartfelt discussion on what it truly means to grow from friends to brotherhood.
#MomOfSons #FaithConversations #Brotherhood #Friendship #KingdomMen #YoungMenOfFaith #FaithAndFriendship #MomOfSonsPodcast
Hi, and welcome back to another episode of the Mom of Sons podcast, Faith Conversations. I'm your host, Beverly Taylor Wells, and I am so glad you pushed that play button today. Our conversation today is very meaningful and interesting. What makes this conversation so meaningful is that these young men, my guests today, have been friends since first grade. They have grown up side by side through childhood, middle school, sports, laughter, challenges, milestones, and life transitions. Together, they graduated from high school and are now navigating life as young adults and attending college, all while maintaining the strong bond of friendship they built as young boys. This is very rare. Today we are witnessing brotherhood, loyalty, growth, lasting friendship, emotional, healthy connections between young men. Even with life taking them in different directions, Jaden attending college in West Virginia, Brandon attending college in Cleveland, and Noah and Desmond attending college here in our hometown, their friendship has remained strong, supportive, and consistent. What began is childhood friendship has truly grown into brotherhood. Proverbs 17 and 17 says, a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. And to break that down, this scripture highlights friends who have remained connected through life's challenges. As mothers, we pray not only for our sons' futures, but also for the people they surround themselves with. Godly friendships, loyalty, accountability, encouragement, and brotherhood truly matter. It is a blessing to witness young men continue growing together through different seasons of life. Today I am honored to sit down with Noah Lynch, Desmond Mitchell, Brandon Smith, and my youngest son Jaden Wells, as we talk about friendship, growth, manhood, life lessons, and what it means to move from boys to adulthood and brotherhood. Welcome to the podcast, guys.
SPEAKER_07How y'all doing? Hi. Thanks for having us. Thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm so glad that you guys could carve a little time out of your busy schedules to have a chat with me. So I'm really excited. I'm a little nervous, but I'm very excited to talk with you guys today. So let's get right into it. Let's start at the very beginning because I know everyone would love to hear how this brotherhood first started. Okay. So we're going all the way back to the beginning. To when you guys first met. Who wants to tell me? Who wants to go first and talk about what they remember when they first met? When you guys first met each other.
SPEAKER_07I can go ahead. Okay. Kind of. So my memory isn't the best, but I do remember that when we all met, it was kind of like spread out a little bit. As a kid, I kind of hang around people who like have the same interests as me, or if they're funny. I don't like to be around unfunny people. So it really speaks uh wonders that I'm still with all these people because they definitely mean something to me and they're very funny uh in their own way. But uh I hang around people that have the same interest as me. So my first impressions are probably along the lines of just thinking they were fun people to be around. As a kid, you don't really worry about uh nothing other than that for real. So I think that's why I stuck close to them that whole time. And that's how we came together.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Anybody else want to weigh in on that?
SPEAKER_03I can go next.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03I have like it's almost as if like I've known everybody else, like as far back as I can remember. Like, I can't really remember meeting anybody like for the first time. Like they've all just kind of existed at any point, at least during like school. Like, I distinctly remember seeing Desmond on my first day of kindergarten. Oh my god. I don't remember like anything about him or like what he was like or how we became friends.
SPEAKER_07Man, I know what you're saying, yeah. Cause it's like back back then it was kind of we were just like in the same class. We kind of just existed together. We just existed. Like we existed together, and the class was like kind of like it's it's small and like it's constellation, so it's not like we're kicking it with like a lot of people from like a different grade. So like kind of all the people that are in like the same age as you are kind of just around you for that time, maybe the entire thing.
SPEAKER_03And it gets to a point like like we all went to the same school. Well, Jaden left, but we all went to the same school for like a long time, and there wasn't a lot of turnover, so it's like you know everybody in all your classes, at least a little bit.
SPEAKER_06It was that, and our class was like really small. We had like 40 people by the end, maybe less than that. Like it we all kind of knew each other pretty well.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay, okay. Who I want to ask right off the rip, who is the funniest of the group?
SPEAKER_02Obviously, me. Yeah, okay, buddy. I mean, who else?
SPEAKER_07Reddit, Reddit is a really funny guy. Yeah, I don't think I think he would be, but I think we definitely all have our mo we could probably all name something. Yeah, we all have our moments. Reddit is a really funny guy, and I would I would think that he would be one of the funniest, they're the funniest persons. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_06I'll probably say the same thing. If I were to pick one, it'll probably be Brandon.
SPEAKER_01So so tell us one of your funniest childhood memories growing up. We'll we'll just say back in elementary. So we'll we'll compartmentalizing it because I'm sure even through middle school, even through high school, you guys have very funny, funny moments. But let's start at the elementary level. What is a funny, funny moment that you guys remember together in elementary school?
SPEAKER_07Does someone else want to go first? I I thought about one just now.
SPEAKER_03I'm trying to think, but it seems like elementary school was so long ago I wasn't even born. Yeah, it's like that. I can't remember one specific thing.
SPEAKER_02I can remember one about me and Desmond. That's really, really funny.
SPEAKER_05That yeah, I I remember one too. So it was like you wanna you wanna go ahead then? Yeah, I'll go first. Um, apparently, like in elementary, like my mom and like Miss Lisa would always say, like, nobody could understand what Noah was saying. It was like he was like speaking a foreign language. So it's like I was like the translator low key. That's one thing that I remember. It's like he would talk to me and then I would like relay the message. So you guys were really little, yeah, like really like first, very first like year elementary.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow, okay, okay. So we're talking like six. Yeah. Oh my goodness, okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_07I think a lot of our funny moments probably uh came from the Xbox, but for because this is uh I won't share everything that we was talking about in the Xbox, but um one that I thought about is like bro, me and Desmond were like, I think this is like in like fourth or third grade, and like we were like, we were like fooling around, and like we like went in like the bathroom or something, and he like spat slashed water on me in the sink, and I I ran out after him, and he ran out, and then I ran out and I flung the door open and just absolutely clocked this random teacher. I have no idea. But dude was so mad, his face was red, and it was a white dude, so you could see like the the it was already on his forehead. Like, I absolut I was like, I was like eight or nine or ten or whatever, however, I clocked the soul at him with that door. That was the hardest I ever hit anybody. It was crazy.
SPEAKER_02I feel really bad that it happened, but it was really funny looking back at it at the time because Desmond was really down the hallway when it happened, so he was not involved in it at all. I got all that, I got all the players.
SPEAKER_01Man, okay. Let's move to um let's move up a bit from elementary to um junior high school. Now, I know that um Jaden left um the same school district that you guys were in, but you guys still remained friends, still did things together, still hung out together. I I just want to ask, so we're in the middle school um era right now, so I'm talking like seventh grade, eighth grade. Was there ever a moment that either of you realized that this friendship would last long term? Did that ever cross your mind once you guys hit junior high?
SPEAKER_05I kind of always felt like it kind of wasn't gonna end. I feel like like we were always around each other, like Noah and Brandon were saying earlier. It was like a really tight, small class when it came to constellations, so it's like we never not saw each other, and then we hang outside of school too. So it was like I never thought of it ever ending or us going anywhere different, honestly.
SPEAKER_01Man, that's nice. Anybody else want to weigh in?
SPEAKER_03Even after I left, oh no, you can go ahead and okay. Um, I kind of feel like the point at which I kind of thought that you know we'd be friends for like a long, long, long time is like not so much junior high, but the start of high school. Because at that point it had been long enough, and Noah had gone to a whole different school, and it was almost as if like nothing changed. Like I didn't become like more distant from Noah at all, even though I wasn't seeing him at school ever.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay, that's right, because um you and Jaden and Desmond, you guys all ended up at early college. So, and that's true. You guys have definitely had a lot of different directions over the years, with you know, people being in different, you know, places, but man, the one thing that has remained so steady is I have just watched you guys still maintain your friendship and your closeness with each other. So somebody tell me what do you feel has kept your friendship so strong all these years?
SPEAKER_07Uh shout out to Microsoft for making the Xbox. I think that that's not the entirety of it, of course, because it takes definitely more than that. The Xbox that's what I'm saying. Like it's had all of our moments. We have so many memories attached to that. And even when I left to go to open door, uh, I think this was this is like 2016. So I had like I had a phone, but like I wasn't talking on it like that much. I think that was like the main uh factor of communication. I use the Xbox party is stay in touch with them. I think that really kept me in twine with them, even when I went off to make other friends. And the and the crazy thing is I didn't play Xbox for those people and I don't talk to them anymore. So you do the math. We we didn't play Xbox together. Are we really friends? Is the question. But I'm saying I think I think that uh also outside of the Xbox, all of our personalities came together well. I think we mesh well as a group, and I think that uh we all consider ourselves to be fun to be around. So uh we really had that support in each other that we stick around to be with each other around us.
SPEAKER_01Who's the quietest of the group? Noah.
SPEAKER_02That was quick, huh? My fault. Desmond right now.
SPEAKER_05No, I'm just watching what I say, bro.
SPEAKER_01I appreciate you. Noah, did you have something you want to add?
SPEAKER_06Nah. No.
SPEAKER_01Okay. See, that's what I'm talking about. Okay, so what what role has loyalty played in your friendship? Have you guys ever had a problem with someone not being loyal?
SPEAKER_03I'd say like not really. Good. I feel like we've all kind of been there for each other, and even if we have like arguments in a sense, it's never enough to really like put our relationship as a whole like at risk. Good.
SPEAKER_07It's menial things that we have disagreements over. It's it's never anything serious, it's like usually related to like a game or some type of media or anything like that. It's never anything grave like that. And I don't think we've experienced anything serious that would drive a wedge between us, but I think that if that did come up that there wouldn't be anything uh regarding that would put a wedge between us, we would work that out. I can't see that happening to us.
SPEAKER_01That's good. That's good. So how important do you guys feel communication is in a friendship?
SPEAKER_03I think it's the most important thing, especially now with um like Jaden lives in a whole different state. So like you really have to like intentionally reach out to talk to him, to see how he's doing, talk to him about what you got going on. So it's really important to like keep up that communication, especially when you're not in the same areas often.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03To just know that or let the other person know that like you're still there, you're still their friend.
SPEAKER_07Yes. I did notice just to touch on that, I did notice that ever since I did go off, um, I've spoken to each of them more than I like not like than I would have, but like to the sense where you can tell there's like effort made there to keep that going on. Like I've spoken to uh Brandon a lot more over the phone than I would have maybe like a year ago because we were seeing each other uh more recently, and then of course I text Desmond and Noah, and we speak I speak with them over the phone and other medias, but it's really it really means a lot to see that effort go out to keep in consistency with that that friendship. It really means a lot to see that happen.
SPEAKER_01How have you guys supported each other during difficult seasons? Um, because in this life we all go through some things and we all you know have some things that happen at times that is not cool and not easy to deal with. Um how have you guys been a support for each other during those times?
SPEAKER_07Like Brandon was saying, communication really. Um I did think about when I was uh really sick and I was in the hospital. Yes, uh everybody here was really supportive of me uh when I was going through that and they were checking in on me. And I think that's really that's really representative of what brotherhood is. It's not just uh having laughs together or hanging out, it's even when I'm not able to be there. Uh when I'm when I'm down or in a bad area, they're there for me, and I really appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01That's good. That was a tough time, and I'm just saying it very lightly. It was a very difficult time. Um, when you were ill. Who gives the best advice in the group?
SPEAKER_03I think me again. I might just be a narcissist. But I think uh for all of these questions, I'll probably say me.
SPEAKER_07That's that's a hard, that's a hard question because I don't really I can't think of anything like profound that's really really been told. Yeah, I mean we haven't we haven't really consulted each other on on really meaningful life advice, but I think that just because we don't have all the all the experience.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I I do understand that you guys are youngsters just stepping into adulthood. I I realize that you guys are just putting on this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, let me just say it's definitely not Desmond. It is not Desmond, it is not Desmond, it is not Desmond.
SPEAKER_01So listen, who's the most dependable?
SPEAKER_07Probably Noah or Brandon, or all of them are dependable. Oh, I appreciate that. I think everybody here is dependable. Like I think we're all dependent on ways. We thought it might be hard to get in contact with someone sometimes, but like that's not even that's not even shade. I meant that in general. I was just saying it might be hard to get in contact with like a specific person here or anybody here sometimes, but like we're always here. Like if we it just they might just be busy at that time, but they're always ready to to pop out or lend an ear for you. Okay, I think for me it's Noah.
SPEAKER_03Okay, because every time I if I call Noah, he will answer. And if I ask him to go do something 99 times out of a hundred, he'll say yes, no matter what it is. Noah is a writer that he's ready to go.
SPEAKER_01Noah they're giving you your props.
SPEAKER_07He just needs the wrong places.
SPEAKER_01But I'm gonna ask anyway, who is the person who checks in on everybody?
SPEAKER_03That one's hard. I would say for the person who checks in the most on me is probably Noah still.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_06I think probably Brandon.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_06But I don't know. I I it's kind of a hard question.
SPEAKER_01I think everybody you think you guys all kind of keep up with each other.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. I would agree with that too, but uh, I think uh, like I was saying, uh Brandon, because like even when I when I went out, he went out of his way to start calling on me more. Uh so I really that was on my forefront. So I think Brandon.
SPEAKER_03I think I might be the only one to like specifically check in for the purpose of checking in, like not to talk about anything in particular. But to like I'll not as much now, but in previous like semesters of school I've called Jaden and asked like just how he's doing in his classes, like if he's making friends at school, like what activities he's up to.
SPEAKER_01That's cool. That is really nice. I mean, I'm just listening to you all, and um I'm really seeing the inside dynamics of your friendship, your brotherhood, why you guys have been able to stay together and stay friends all these years. Um, I've just observed from the outside, of course, you know, just being Jay's mom and you know, being around you guys' moms over the years and things, but listening to you guys as young men, you know, talk about these certain topics, and it it's it really gives me an inside look to the inner inner um actings of your friendship, the inner pieces and parts, and I can see how you guys have maintained your friendship for all these years, and it's very impressive, and I'm very um I'm very happy that Jaden has such good friends, and um, that you guys are like brothers. So I want to ask each one of you um your your thoughts on what makes someone a trustworthy as a friend.
SPEAKER_07I can go first if you want to go in in order.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_07Trustworthiness is really just something you have to, I mean it's in the word you gotta trust that the other person has that. Because a lot of it is like what you can't see, and then when you find out that they're not trustworthy, it really does hurt. I think um if they're willing to stick up for you when you're not there, and if they're saying uh kind things about your back, or if they want the work the best for you without any kind of like payment for that, or any kind of like uh any kind of help or additional, they'll just help you out just because you're their friend and not for any kind of monetary or anything like that, any reward. I think that's really what trustworthiness is, and that they're not going behind your back and doing anything like that. And I think everybody here is a trustworthy person.
SPEAKER_00That's good. Anybody else want to weigh in?
SPEAKER_03I think that like everybody here, I'm very confident that they would never like go behind my back or like talk bad about me to another person just because like over the years we've been so close that you like you inherently kind of build trust amongst each other and know that like we've got each other's backs and we're not doing anything shady.
SPEAKER_01That's good. That's good. Anyone else want to weigh in? Well, now we are going to transition into young adulthood. Um, so I know growing from boys into young men comes with major life changes, brings some pressure, responsibilities, and growth. So what was graduating from high school like emotionally for all of you?
SPEAKER_05Bruh, freedom. That's what I mean. For real. Like even though I do well with school, I honestly really don't like school.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So if when you graduated high school, that was one of the less chains holding you.
SPEAKER_05So to speak. Pretty much.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. Someone else's um want to weigh in on what it was like when you graduated high school, what that felt for you.
SPEAKER_03I feel like it was kind of not as emotionally impactful for me, Jaden, and Desmond, because obviously we did early college. Mm-hmm. Because, like, you're already doing college classes, and then you graduate, and then I'm sure for all three of us that next fall you're doing the exact same thing, just like in a different place for me and Jaden. Okay. So it doesn't, at least for me, it didn't feel like a massive change.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Because you guys had already kind of walked on that path a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it kind of felt like I'm still gonna be doing this for the next couple years.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07Okay. Hey, just to bounce off like what they were saying for uh what Des said, definitely freedom, except not really, because then like Brandon said, I went right back to school. So it was like it's not like a like a movie where it's like everybody's jumping in the air and throwing their caps at the it was kind of just all right, cool. Like I'm not like a super emotional person when it comes to like um like big milestones because I know that is like a big milestone. I mean, I was happy to be done and all, but I mean it was kind of like a all right, back to business type of understanding, like because I knew I my my school don't stop there because what I what I want to do requires more than that. So I mean it was nice to be done, and I do miss like some of the things at LC, but it was just kind of just another event in my life, and I'll have more, so it was kind of whatever. Not in that sense, but I mean it happened.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So how how has college life changed you personally?
SPEAKER_07I wanna go. Go ahead. Um I'm definitely more outspoken than I was uh going into senior year. I was a different person than I was going into freshman in uh high school, but I'm even more so of a different person now that I'm in uh college, and I think this is really um especially different for for me and Brandon. I'm sure you can relate to this. It's just being in that new place, and of course you have people you can rely on, but especially for me, I'm out in West Virginia. I really had to be more outspoken than I was because I don't want to be uh missing out on opportunities. I have to step out into an area where my community is is really far away. Um so I can't I can't just go back into where I was before. I have to kind of step forward and make new friends, make new connections, and and get out there. Uh especially I think uh COVID really impacted my life a lot in the sense that I was way less social than I had been before COVID, and it kind of put me in a shell that I I'm breaking out of. I definitely broke out of in my senior year and going into college, and I I found some people I can rely on in college and kick it with, but I always know that when I come back home, uh these boys right here, they're gonna be here.
SPEAKER_00So that's good. That's really good. Anyone else?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. We're like going to college is more of a like I know Jaden lives in a whole different state and he lives on his own, but still just going to a different school with new people, new classes, new building, new location, new everything, like it's kind of scary and it makes you want to like put yourself out there more and talk to people and really like find out who you are as a person, what you like, what you don't like. And yeah.
SPEAKER_01What has surprised you guys most about adulthood?
SPEAKER_03How expensive things are. I was gonna say the same thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_07No, actually. Um freedom too. We have a lot of freedom. Um that could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. Because if you have a you have a lot of freedom, I'm making this decisions that I'm making. Of course, I have people that can like suggest things to me, but it's also my decision if I want to listen to them or not. And at the at the end of the day, it's me making those decisions that I have to uh weigh against the other one to make sure I'm going on the right path. And it's very easy, I could very easily just that's something I thought about. It's very easy to mess up your life rather than uplift your life. It's way easier to make a mistake that you will take months or years to recover from rather than build a skill that you can get. That because that's that skill probably takes months to get, but like I said, you can just ruin that in like a few seconds. Like I see things on campus out there. I could very easily just like the last four years I've spent working to get like my grades in order and my GPA and things like that. I could very easily just not be on what I have to do out there, and and all that work I put up for four years could just be gone in one semester, and is that's just something that really puts into perspective how how dangerous freedom can be if I'm not locked in and doing what I need to do. So I think freedom is really something that surprised me a lot about adulthood.
SPEAKER_03I think that is like a very overwhelming part of adulthood, especially like it's such a shift between like when you're in high school and your entire day is like scheduled, and you don't really have the means to like go wherever you want, do whatever you want, and then when you're going to college, like on your own, you have a car, you have the means to go places, you can really just do like whatever, and it's kind of overwhelming sometimes.
SPEAKER_07I'm saying, yeah, just to mouse up that again, I do think like, and I don't because like I have common sense, so the area is not the nicest, but like I'd think that after I get out of class, sometimes it's like I could really just get in my car and just go to like Kentucky for no reason. I could really just go I think about that every day anywhere. Like I could just go, I can give my car and just go somewhere, but like I don't because like I'm not familiar with the area, and then I'm like, well, what would I do there? Why would I do that? But I just think about like it's a possibility, like I could do that. Like, that's not something I could do in in high school. It's not something I could just I could get, I can't just get in my car and leave. I'm like 14 in high school or 15, whenever I got my license.
SPEAKER_01Wow, listening uh to you all talk is very, very, and I'm sure your mom's as well are going to feel the same way. It it gives me a peace as a mother because all we want as mothers, as parents, is we want to always impart into you all the very best lessons that we can. We want to always make sure that we tell you guys that we protect you guys from making bad choices, and to hear you speak about, you know that the freedom is there, but you also know that in one single decision something could go left, and sometimes you never can recover from that going left. So to hear you all have the responsibility and the maturity, that's what I'm hearing, and that makes my heart very at ease, and it makes my heart very happy to hear the maturity because that is very important. Um, I heard Jaden speak about um he has common sense, and I heard Brandon speaking about how overwhelming the freedom can be, and when you have that type of um understanding and that type of um outlook on it, that'll always make you think before you act, and that is a great thing because like Jaden was saying, man, you could go out there and in the blink of an eye, something can change your whole life, and it could take months, it could take years, and sometimes you never come back from it. So to listen to the maturity in you guys is very, very refreshing and very encouraging, and um it lets us moms know, us parents know that you know we have done our job. Even sometimes when we felt like you guys weren't listening, I guess you guys were listening. So um, I want to ask this what pressures do young men face today? Do you feel like there's a lot of pressures that young young guys um face?
SPEAKER_05I kind of get this a lot, um, not really from like my other like from my other friends, not from y'all, but like the just the pressure to go out, like they're always trying to get me to go out somewhere, and it's like I work in the morning, or it's just like I need to get it some extra sleep. I'm tired from today. It's like there's nothing really to go out for either. Half the time they just want to like just I don't know, go drink or something. Not really my type of thing.
SPEAKER_01So yes. So Des, what I'm hearing with you is that you have your own mindset. And uh what I pick up from all of you all is you guys are leaders, not followers. So you don't let that sway you. If you know you've got responsibility, you really ain't caring what somebody else says. You already know what you got going on. Am I following you?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, totally good.
SPEAKER_01Good, and that's good that you can stand on you know, on what you, you know, what you feel, and and you're not pushed around or um impressed by the thing that I always found is is when you are coming up, you're a young person, a young adult, be it male or female, when you got your game plan and you got your goals and you know what you're trying to achieve and where you're trying to get to, you can't let anybody knock you off your game. Because sometimes when you get knocked off your game, you don't never get back on. So I'm really happy to hear how focused you guys are on what you got going on and where you're trying to get to. That's very impressive. So, how do you guys balance school and responsibilities and your goals and your friendships?
SPEAKER_03I think it's important to like yeah, planning, setting aside time, making sure you uh take care of the most important things first.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, uh yeah, the planning definitely helps. Um me personally, what I do is I spread things out. I'm a procrastinator, but I always I'm I'm like probably like max level procrastinator, but I always get this what I'm what I gotta get done, and that's because like I spread it out and I'm self-aware that I am a procrastinator and that I could uh let it go to the last minute. But what I do instead is I I spread that stuff out. I do a little bit uh over a period of time. Actually, what I'm doing right now for the summer class, I have to get uh these assignments done before Sunday. So I'm spreading out my work over the day, and then I take a little break so I don't get like bored or burnt out, and then I just come back to it and then rent to repeat. So I think just taking things one step at a time really helps in regards to like schoolwork and then in regards to balancing social life and all that, is just being aware that you're not a machine and that you have to have your downtime too. So if I want to take a nap, I take a nap. If I want to go out and uh chill with uh friends, I go out and I do that, but I always make sure I'm I'm taking into account the other responsibilities I have. But I another responsibility is taking care of my mental state, so I make sure to emphasize that as well.
SPEAKER_04Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01Anybody else?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I think um I think just giving yourself a schedule for a week, especially when it comes to schoolwork. Okay, like it can be easy to burn yourself out doing like like I spent one day this past semester doing like 10 assignments in one day, and it was it was bad. Like I burn myself out for that class, and I just it's important to give yourself a schedule and set a tight time to just give yourself a break.
SPEAKER_01Okay. And you know, Noah just kind of answered like, what lessons have you learned about responsibility? That just flows you know right into that question. Anyone else want to weigh in on that? What their experience has been?
SPEAKER_07Probably one of the most important things of being an adult. Um it kind of just goes back to what me and Brandon were saying about like our freedom, right? It's like it's just knowing what what's right for you is right for you and what's wrong for you is wrong for you. Like everybody's on a different path, everybody has different responsibilities and things they have to handle. So what one person's responsibilities look like might not be what your responsibilities look like, but you have to understand what your responsibilities are and and be willing to go ahead and tackle those. Like if we if we could like just sit there all day and and do nothing, I'm sure like a lot of people would be comfortable in that space, just not doing anything. Because it's very easy now, especially because we have so much entertainment at our at our fingertips, we could probably just sit in the bed and chill all day. But that responsibility comes in where we realize man, we got stuff we gotta do, and then you get up and you go to work, or you get up, you have to get that thing out the way that you have to do. I think that's what responsibility is.
SPEAKER_01What what goals are you guys currently working toward? Anyone want to share?
SPEAKER_03I think it's probably like a common answer for all of us, but finishing school is kind of just the number one right now.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, for sure. Um school after I finish, I I know in my my um plan I want to go and pursue my masters, and then I want to do things in my field, but I think I think that's like Brandon said, that's pretty much the same for all of us. So outside of that, um, I'm trying to further my skill uh just for recreation. I I picked up the guitar recently, and I think this is something that I'm enjoying a lot. It's just something that's some downtime, and it's really rewarding, I think, because I've been practicing for I believe like a month now or a little over a month, and uh I recorded all like my videos of like when I first started, and I just watch those back and it's you can see the improvement. So it's really rewarding to see that, and I think music is such like a beautiful thing because you can kind of put your own touch on it. Like even if you're following instructions, it still has your touch on it because that's how you're playing it. So I really I really like that. That's something I'm working on right now.
SPEAKER_01Uh, my goal is to become proficient in an instrument, so and the last question in this segment that I want to ask you guys what kind of man do you hope to become someday? Just from what you know right now about adulthood, you're at the very Um very first um steps of stepping into adulthood. So it's still, I know, a little new to you, but just everything that you have um experienced over the the last two years after um the age 18 and you've stepped into being 20. What kind of man are you already thinking about that you want to become someday?
SPEAKER_07I want to be someone dependable. Um that's my number one goal in life. I want to be somebody that can be dependent on. I commonly have like ideas where like in theoretically, if I were to like strike it rich or get a lot of money or anything like that, or in the future, if I'm doing really well or when I'm doing really well in regards to my job, if I have a lot of surplus money or I'm really successful, uh, my number one thing, I just want to support people around me, the people that help me get to that spot. I think if I were to hit the lottery today, everybody around me we would be out there, we would be we would be lit. I'm just saying that everybody, everybody here would be getting fat stacks of that money. That that's because when I think about that theoretical, it's a common theoretical. If you what would you do if you won the lottery? My first thought is I'm spreading, I'm spreading the wealth with those around me. You're giving me money. Yeah, I'm giving I'm giving Brandon Smith money, I'm giving Noah Lynch money, I'm giving Desmond Mitchell money, I'm giving my mom money, I'm giving my dad money, I'm giving everybody around me money. Because it ain't it ain't no fun. It ain't no fun if not everybody around you can can profit from what you're doing, because you don't want to be up there alone, you know what I mean? And especially if they supported you for that long. So I want to be somebody that can provide, I want to be somebody that's dependable, and that's my number one goal in life.
SPEAKER_03I was also gonna say dependable as like the number one thing, and then also just like being a positive presence in people's lives, that you know, making sure people actually like you, and um you're bringing some kind of benefit to their life as a whole.
SPEAKER_01Anyone anybody else want to jump in? Okay, I want to talk just a little bit about brotherhood. Um, at some point, friendship becomes deeper than simply hanging out. It truly does become a brotherhood. So what have you learned from each other over these past years?
SPEAKER_03I think I've learned how to like maintain a friendship and how to be there for people and how to support people as they're going through tough times. And I think that's kind of the main thing that I've learned from existing in our broader friendship.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I would agree with that. Uh I think from each other, everybody we have like different situations going on, so adaptability is uh really one thing I've learned. Um it's it's like it's not it could be difficult in some situations to be keeping up with people, but I think uh I've learned even since I've been like split up for like a while, like coming like in middle school, I've learned to work around that and then still be there for people. So that's a skill that I've I've learned from being in this brotherhood or this friendship.
SPEAKER_00Anybody else?
SPEAKER_01So what does brotherhood mean to you?
SPEAKER_03I think it means like like you said before, like moving to something deeper than friendship. And I think that kind of comes along with how long we've known each other and how long we've been friends, to where I think we kind of have like an implicit understanding that we're going to be friends for a long, long time. And we're like, I don't want to say like we're responsible for one another, but like we kind of are. Like we're responsible to check in on one another, make sure we're doing okay, make sure you know we're keeping up with our responsibilities, we're doing what we're supposed to.
SPEAKER_01That's nice.
SPEAKER_07People we can rely on. That's what brotherhood means to me. Um anybody can you can I have uh friends, but you can define anybody as as a friend, they can just be an whole time they can be like an associate or something or other. It's somebody that you're just around. But I think what we have, we're we're able to depend on each other, and I think that's what separates uh brotherhood from friendship.
SPEAKER_01So how important is having people around you who genuinely want to see you succeed?
SPEAKER_03I think it's like the most important thing to actually succeeding. Because I know that if we're only uh restricting things to like the people in this call right now. Like I know that I can call Jaden to about anything, and you know, he'll give me advice, he'll be there for me, and he'll guide me through that.
SPEAKER_07I appreciate that. Um to go off of that, we I gotta think. Could you rephrase the question? I was gonna make sure I answer it right.
SPEAKER_01The question is how important is having people around you who genuinely want to see you succeed.
SPEAKER_07Okay, yeah, no, so I think that's the separation between success and failure. And I'm not gonna say that people that don't have others in their corner, they're just not able to succeed, but it certainly makes things easier. Um, especially like if you're going through a tough time. If you're going through a tough time and you feel like you don't have anyone to rely on, that can of course that can make the situation worse for whatever situation you're in, that can emotionally impact you. So I think success, it really, it really kind of depends on if you have people in your corner or not, or it really impacts if you have people in your corner or not, because otherwise you might you might falter in what you need to do because you feel like, well, who cares if I if I fail or I succeed. But knowing I have people in my life, the people in this call, and then of course, people outside of this call, just people in my life in general that I can call up. I can call up No, I can call it Brandon, I can call up Des, or I can talk to my family about that. I think it really just it really elevates me to do my best because I know there's people around me that want me to succeed.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Wow, in the word Ecclesiastics 4, 9 through 10 says, two are better than one. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up, and that is very true. That is very true of friendship, that is very true of any relationship. Um, the support, the care, the compassion, it's very important. So, one thing I think also that is important is helping young men understand that strength also includes emotional honesty, support, and vulnerability. So, you know, in this time and day, there's a lot of talk about mental health and emotional support. Um, how important do you guys feel emotional support within your friendship? Um, how important is that?
SPEAKER_07Insanely. Um, I'm thinking I was thinking of that was about a week ago at this point, but one of our other friends, uh, he had been talking about how he was going through a difficult situation. Uh he's experiencing some difficult things in life, and then uh we just kind of had to to put it out there that we're there for him. Um we just had to let him know that we we support him and that we're there for him if if he needs to talk about anything or if he needs some help with anything, that we're there for him. I think that's just just something as simple as that. Like, I think a lot of people might think that you have to just straight up like tell everybody your business, or just or you don't have to do that if that's not something you're comfortable with, or if that person is not ready to receive that from you, but just something as simple as letting them know that you're there for them, I think it's really important because it because it helps to let them know like that's what we were talking about, having someone in your corner, someone you can depend on. It really helps to know that you have that person in your life.
SPEAKER_03I think it's also important to have somebody that you can like relate to in times where you're going through like some kind of emotional challenge where like I know if I am going through something emotionally or something bad happened to me, I know I can call uh anybody in this call, and I could and they'll tell me they went through the same thing and how they got through it, and that they're there.
SPEAKER_01So, what advice would you guys give a young man that's struggling silently with stress, pressure, or emotions?
SPEAKER_03To talk to somebody about it, anybody, and it's like you think it's embarrassing, which it can feel that way, to like, oh, I have problems. But like at the end of the day, everyone does, and it's very rare that you'll reach out to somebody and like be candid with them and tell them your problems and they'll dismiss it. Like nine times out of ten, they will support you and they will give you advice and they will be there for you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that is so true, Brandon.
SPEAKER_07It's a matter you're not you're not a weak person if you do that. It's not a matter of being strong or weak. I think it's really strong of you to recognize that you have things that you need to consult someone uh with someone about, and if you consult with that person and they're dismissive of it, I think that also just it enlightens you that that's not the kind of person that you want to surround yourself with, if that person wasn't meant for you in the first place to be uh a part of your circle. Um and that could be that could be anybody in your life. So I think even if it's it's a tough situation, but even if they dismiss you, it it's a net positive for both for both like outcomes, because either you cut someone off that actually was a snake and they don't actually support you, or you get some assistance that you need at that time. So I think uh it's really important to know that you're not weak and asking for that help you need.
SPEAKER_01Anything else anybody want to add? Okay, this next segment is about admiration and encouragement. Um, I think that this is one of the most important parts of Brotherhood, recognizing the good in each other. So what's one thing that you admire about each other?
SPEAKER_03I'll go first because I was thinking about this one especially. And I was thinking about how Jaden is never embarrassed, and he will always do I don't want to say whatever. But like it's almost like he doesn't have social anxiety, and I really admire that about him, and I wish that I was the same way. And then Noah's very dependable, like we said earlier, like I can call him at any time. And then um Desmond's like one of the he's just one of the funniest guys that I know. Not intentionally most of the time, but he still is, and I text him all the time.
SPEAKER_06So he brings it. You want to go first? No, you got it, you got it. No, go ahead. No, I think Jaden is like really easy to talk to, and just like he's an easy going guy. I think what Brandon said with uh him not being afraid or just having not having any social anxiety, I think is like a really strong aspect of him. Um I think Desmond's just a really fun person to be around. I think he's also just really funny, like what Brandon said. And uh I think I also admire how like sociable Brandon is. I think I noticed in the past few years that he's just been like like every time I go out with him, he's just like he's talking to like everybody, and I just admire that about him a lot.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_07Um just to start, I think Brandon is a very intelligent person. Uh as of late, like I think it really just makes me think back. I think it was around um it was it was around the election. So it was like I wasn't super um informed on like a lot of things regarding that. So consulting Brandon about a lot of things, he does know a lot about uh things regarding that, and he does know a lot of things that the average person wouldn't know. So he's a really intelligent person. I think I really admire that about him. Uh he's someone you can talk to if you need something explained. Um Desmond is Desmond, and and just the extent, Desmond and his entire family, he's there's they're so dependable. Um, I rode to school with Desmond every single day for like the entirety of my high school, besides the first year because I was online, but that don't count. Um he just he's just you just call Desmond up and he'll he'll be there for you. And especially thinking back into like even before high school, Desmond, it was like Desmond was one of my one of my like my best, like my best black friends. Like I had black friends in Constellation, but Desmond Desmond. Desmond was Desmond was my black friend. Desmond's number one black friend because we have a whole lot of we have a whole lot of black folk at Constellation. We had some, but I really I really hit it off at that with Desmond a lot. So I really gotta attribute that to him. And and and when I went to open door, uh there was not many black people at all. So talking to Desmond about struggles I faced out there when I couldn't uh with people out at open door, that really helped me out a lot. And he's probably still laughing while he's muted right there. I do not blame him, that was pretty funny.
SPEAKER_03And then um I just wanted to bring up when uh this is this is Jaden not being dependable, very rare circumstance. But you talking about Desmond taking you to school reminded me of when uh y'all got like a flat tire. You know, you remember what I'm talking about? And you stayed in the car?
SPEAKER_02L was peak, by the way. It was cold Desmond literally in the dead of winter.
SPEAKER_07It was like it was literally like cold out of his mind. It was literally like like we were going to school and we were turning right there where um where we're uh not where we've come across an uh outpass or underpass where uh Drug Mart is, and they got like a flat tire. So we pulled over at that gas station right there, and they had a flat tire, and Desmond hopped out. I was watching from the car in the backseat, and he was so he was so hot, so Desmond and his dad changed the tire.
SPEAKER_02I was I was watching like I was a king or something in the backseat. I did not hop out the car.
SPEAKER_01It probably shouldn't be that word Jaden Anderson Wells, but they they look they look like they had it, so I I heard the tire.
SPEAKER_03I heard that Jaden even poked his head out the window and hurry up.
SPEAKER_05Nah, it reminded me of the Squidward meme where he's like watching Patrick having fun, bro. Like that's that's how he was being through.
SPEAKER_03We weren't having fun. No, bro, it was cold. He was having fun. I hear you.
SPEAKER_07So and then Noah, I wanted to say also about Noah. Um we really we go back a long way because I've I've known Brandon for like a long time since first grade, but we we hadn't like been like connected as we were until I believe I believe like it's probably 2019 or 2018 or 2020, it was around then. And then of course I'd known Desmond. I saw I've known Noah and Desmond for a really, really long time, and I've known Brandon too, but like uh Noah's been there like for a really long time. Like I've I remember kicking at his old house. I remember when he moved. Um I was there when he got uh Finn, his one of his dogs. It's just me, me and Noah. It's it's like like I said, it's he he's a ride or die. Like we've been talking about how Noah's a ride or die. Like, he really we we kind of just we go everywhere where Noah, like Noah will pop out at any any request. And then a car Noah is the glue. Yeah, noah, noah, Noah really the foundation. He there in the Xbox party all the time. He's there, he's hosting when we come over to his house all the time. He's he's there when we go out all the time, and we we I'm sure everybody here is thankful for that because a lot of memories have been made at Noah's house in his basement or in his room or spending the night or whenever. So Noah's really, really one of the or he is the foundation.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's the foundation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Almost every single time that we've hung out like all together, it has been at his house, and we do not ask if it's okay.
SPEAKER_07Desmond might be the only person that's been to my house. I've never everybody else has been outside Noah's been to my house. He said I I thought he hadn't been to my house. He brought it up like last week, and he had been to my house, and it was like, I didn't even remember it. And I think it's been like twice.
SPEAKER_01I'm trying to get Jaden to get the sun room together so you guys can come over and cook out this summer and hang out.
SPEAKER_03But he doesn't walk in.
SPEAKER_01So, Noah, how do you feel about being the foundation of the friendship and the hosting and everything? How does it make you feel to hear your bros talk like that about you?
SPEAKER_06Uh, it feels good. It feels I don't know. I just I'm glad to be there for everyone to be dependable.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I remember dropping Jaden off at your house when you lived off of Lake Avenue. I I can't even remember what grade you guys were in then. So I don't know, elementary.
SPEAKER_06I don't know. Might have been maybe early middle school.
SPEAKER_07Okay. When that was that was like that was 2015 because we was playing uh Black Ops 3 all the time over at his house. Oh yeah. But yeah, no, that that that old house got many memories attached to it, and I didn't even live there, so I imagine what it's like for Noah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So how important is encouragement amongst you guys?
SPEAKER_00You guys ever encourage each other with anything?
SPEAKER_03I think so. I think there's a lot of like Want to call anyone out, and I'm not saying anybody here specifically, but like a lot of people struggle with self-doubt. I know I do. And it means a lot when someone says, like, you can do this thing, there's nothing stopping you. You're, you know, a capable person. And it really helps a lot to like change your own thinking and to make yourself think, yes, I can do this, I can, you know, be successful in whatever endeavor you're going into.
SPEAKER_07I think that encouragement also hits harder when it's somebody close to you because anybody can kind of just like say, Well, yeah, you got this, but it it means something different when it's like somebody that's seen you do that thing before. It's somebody that's that that knows you as a person that knows you can do it with their whole heart. And it's not just someone that's just just giving you encouragement because they know it's the thing to do. It's somebody that they they wholeheartedly are encouraging you because they actually believe in you and they want to see you succeed. It's not just it's not just words from them, it's because they they know that you can do it. So I think that's another angle to look at it from because we've all been around each other for a while, so we know what we can do, and we know what we're capable of. So when we encourage each other, I think that each of us knows that we truly mean that, and that we're we're not just saying that just because.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I think getting that real encouragement also just helps build your trust and like helps strengthen the friendship in the long run, too. Just having that, you know, is is really helpful for maintaining a friendship.
SPEAKER_01So for me as a mom of sons, I always want these conversations to encourage both young men and the mothers raising them. What would you say um to mothers that are raising young sons today? What type of encouragement with everything that is going on in the world today and and just what you guys have walked through already? Um your experiences, what type of um encouragement or advice would you say to a young mom raising a little boy?
SPEAKER_03I I think I'll let everyone else answer this one because I'm I'm maybe the least qualified person to give any mother any advice.
SPEAKER_01No, it's it's actually like from your view as a little boy, um, like you know, what it was like when you were little, you know, what you needed um growing up. Like, um, for example, I'm gonna just try to clarify it. You know, maybe it's that it's okay for a mom to have a little bit more trust in her little boy, and you know, letting him experience some friendships or having a little more responsibility, anything like that.
SPEAKER_03And I think, yeah, what you just said about trust, and if my mom listens to this episode, she's gonna not be happy about that. But I think that it's become kind of like normal now, more so than before, to like kind of be a helicopter parent or you know, try to control your child's life a little bit too much. And I think it's important for everyone's life to like be able to make mistakes and you know to do the things you want so that you know what to do and what not to do. And I think everyone in their life has some kind of experience like that where they you know did something they probably shouldn't have, made a mistake, and then learned from it. And I think that it's kind of harmful to try so hard to avoid that mistake ever happening.
SPEAKER_01Yes, because life lessons are life lessons sometimes, and um sometimes is as much as you don't want your your child to um make a mistake, and I think coming from a parent's point of view, especially when you've walked in a situation, so you know what the outcome has been and it wasn't good, we as parents we do have a tendency that we want to protect you all from making some of the same mistakes that we have made in this life. But for me, raising a son, it's like you have to know when to kind of take your hands off and trust that your your son has become a young man. And I'm just gonna tell y'all, that is very difficult. When Jaden floats up in here late at night, sometimes I am like, oh my god, where is he? It's it's not easy, and and you guys, once you become parents someday, you will see what it's like, but I have to understand that he is not 17 anymore, he is 20, he's a young man, so I have to trust that I have done my job, I have given him the tools that he needs to be responsible and to make responsible choices. It's really a very hard transition to walk through when your son goes from being a young man to a young adult. And especially when you all enter college, excuse me, college, and you become college young men. Um, I I guess I could speak for most moms. Our biggest um thing is that we do want to protect you. We that's our instinct to protect you, but also once you become a young adult, releasing you into that adulthood journey and trusting that we have done our job. Does that I mean can you guys relate to that what I'm what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I agree with that.
SPEAKER_07I think we talked, we talked like maybe a few days ago, or it might have been a week where I was saying that I had noticed that you um you eased up ever since like I became an adult. And you I'm grateful that you've been allowing me to go out and do more things than I would have like maybe in like high school when I didn't uh know everything or wasn't an adult. So I really appreciate that. Uh we did talk about that. So I think that that's something I noticed. But to talk to um the younger generation, I think you just gotta keep the people that you you trust close to you and and do your best to keep that relationship uh upkept and keep that relationship fruitful. And if it's someone that you see like like I was saying before, if it's someone that you think that you couldn't trust with anything that isn't just laughing or joking around or playing the game or having fun, if if you need to sit down with that person and have a conversation with them and you you would be scared to tell them that, or you would be hesitant to tell them that, then maybe that's not someone you want to be around as as you go further in your life because they might not be there for you if that's something that you're afraid to talk to them with. So I think just knowing who you're around and then once you know who you're around, make sure you keep that person close.
SPEAKER_05To add to what Jay was saying, um uh like he said, make sure to keep the right people around. But um, when it comes to sometimes when you're younger, you don't know who the right person is. I've always made sure that like when it came to my closest friends, my parents at least met them, met them like two, three times, like just so I could get another point of view. Because of course, my point of view is gonna be different from my parents, way less experiences, and I'm always around this person at school. I think they're the greatest person in the world. But then my parents, they may have like hey, a point of view, hey, you know, he that person can be a little too outspoken sometimes, you know. Make sure they don't get you wrapped up in an argument with somebody else just because you you're wanna help them or offend them, you know. Just make sure not to overplay your part, overextend yourself for somebody who wouldn't do the same for you.
SPEAKER_01Some really good advice. anybody else have any advice for any of the younger younger boys um about friendship and growing into manhood? You guys are doing great. Okay. Well, I always have prayer on my podcast, so I want to pray over you guys. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of friendship and the blessing of brotherhood. Thank you for bringing these young men together and allowing their bond to grow through the years. Through childhood memories, school days, challenges, victories, and new seasons of life, you have been faithful to sustain their friendship. Lord, we pray that you would continue to strengthen the connection they share. May they encourage one another in faith, challenge one another to grow and support one another through every season of life. Let their friendship be rooted in respect, trust, loyalty, and love for one another. As they continue their journeys into adulthood, guide their steps and direct their paths. Lord, help them to make wise decisions, walk in integrity, and pursue the purpose you have for each of their lives. Protect them from influences, Lord, that would pull them away from you and surround them with godly wisdom and counsel. Father, remind them that true brotherhood is more than shared experiences. It is standing together in faith, celebrating one another's successes, carrying one another's burdens, and pointing one another towards Christ. May they become strong kingdom men who lead with humility, serve with compassion, and honor you in all they do. Let their friendship be a testimony of your goodness and a reflection of the power of lasting brotherhood. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Now, moms, I want to stay connected with you beyond this podcast. So I invite you to visit the Mom of Sons blog, momsofsons. Please subscribe so you don't miss a week of encouragement, scripture, or prayer. You can also follow us on the Mom of Sons Facebook page where we continue the conversation and encourage one another on this journey of motherhood. I'm always looking to connect with guests for the Mom of Sons podcast. Mothers, sons, counselors, teachers, pastors, mentors, anyone passionate about helping guide, encourage, and strengthen and support the next generation of men. If you have a heart for that, please reach out to me at moms of sons25 at gmail.com. Until next time, moms, keep trusting God, keep moving forward, and continue raising your sons. And guys, thank you so much for sitting down with me today.
SPEAKER_05Thank you for having us.