.jpeg)
Mom of Sons™ "Faith Conversations"
The Mom of Sons Podcast is a space for real conversation, steady encouragement, and honest faith for moms raising boys. Each episode speaks to the heart of motherhood. The tender parts, the loud parts, the funny moments, and the moments that keep you praying.
Mom of Sons™ "Faith Conversations"
Kingdom Men, Kingdom Fathers "A Roundtable Discussion"
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
A Special Father’s Day Episode
Months ago, someone asked me, “What about fathers? They are important in a boy’s life too.”
My answer is, absolutely, they are. Fathers play a powerful and God-ordained role in the lives of their sons. This special episode is dedicated to honoring, uplifting, and learning from men of God who are leading, loving, guiding, and raising their sons with faith, wisdom, strength, and purpose.
Join me for a powerful conversation as Kingdom men share their hearts on fatherhood, faith, leadership, legacy, and what it truly means to raise sons in today’s world.
This is more than a conversation; it’s ministry, encouragement, wisdom, and healing for fathers, mothers, and families alike.
Featuring special guests:
Minister Brandon Ammons
Dr. James Knight
Minister Earnest Bowie
Minister Jalil Jackson
Minister Jordan Simmons
Pastor James Wells Jr.
Because raising sons was always meant to be covered in love, prayer, guidance, and Godly leadership.
#MomOfSons #FaithConversations #KingdomMen #KingdomFathers #FathersDay #RaisingSons #Legacy #Fatherhood #ChristianPodcast
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Mom of Sons podcast, Faith Conversations. I'm your host, Beverly Taylor Wells, and today's episode is incredibly powerful and special. Today we are celebrating fathers, manhood, leadership, legacy, and the powerful role men of God play in the lives of their sons and families. Our special Father's Day episode is titled Kingdom Men, Kingdom Fathers. Months ago, someone asked me what about fathers? And it was kind of in a challenging way. And I had to let him know this is Mom of Sons is not a competition. God gave us the man and the woman roles, different roles in our family, in our children's lives. And I can only speak from a mother's view because that's what God made me. And God made uh women nurturing creatures. So we're loving, we're nurturing. So, you know, there's a certain um certain things that we bring um to the family table for our sons and for our families. Um, I deeply believe fathers have an irreplaceable role in a child's life, and honestly, that conviction comes from my own story. My dad provided financially, but he wasn't present with his heart. I don't really know what a father-daughter relationship feels like in the natural, and because of that, you know, I it makes me truly understand how important it is for children to feel seen, loved, and protected. That's part of why I'm so passionate about raising sons to become strong, present, godly men, the kind of fathers and husbands who show up fully for their families. Um, Psalms 103 and 13 says, as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Today, we are bringing together powerful men of God, kingdom men, to have an honest conversation about fatherhood, faith, masculinity, leadership, purpose, and legacy. I am honored to welcome my special guest today, Minister Brandon Ammons, Dr. James Knight, Minister Ernest Bowie, Brother Jalil Jackson, Minister Jordan Simmons, and Pastor James Wells Jr. Thank you all for being here today, and welcome to the podcast. And thank you for this powerful conversation. Well, I'd like to just really get started with um, we're gonna just jump right into it. So let's begin with this question. What does being a kingdom man mean to you personally?
SPEAKER_09I will go first. Um when it comes to being a kingdom man, personally to me, this means following after Christ, um, you know, doing my father's will and not my own. Um some some sometimes what can happen is we as people, we as um Christians can sometimes uh live a double life, right? Because being born in flesh, sometimes we of course walk after the the flesh. Sometimes things of the the flesh would would entice us or um cause us to um to fall short. But for me, being a kingdom man, it means to submit myself to the the father. No matter what life may bring, I must submit myself to the father in order for me to live out the the will that he has for me. Um I know personally sometimes fear and sometimes doubt it can creep in. But one thing about it, we who are spiritual, we have to take those things and we have to cast those thoughts out. And so being a kingdom man means for me to rise up above what my flesh sees and above what what fear says and what doubt says, but it means to submit myself to the father, knowing that I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength, literally. And so that's what that means to me. Um, falling on my knees, praying, and submitting myself to the father, walking in spiritual authority, uh, casting down things that's not like God. That's what that means to me.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen. Anybody else?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I agree wholeheartedly with uh Pastor Jackson. Um that that's definitely a kingdom man. When we look at a kingdom man, um in my in my mind, I think of, you know, well, what do we say is a real man? You know, uh a man is is strong, dependable, uh good for his word, um, having integrity, you know, having having physical and also mental and emotional stability, you know, in the natural sense, that's what we would call a real man. I think the thing that separates uh our natural real man versus a kingdom real man is the priority. You know, as you said, we have to be uh our our faith is a priority. Being led by the spirit is a priority. And so while I, yes, I am strong and dependable and stable, you know, it's it's not in and of myself, but I am fully submitted to uh the Lord my God as the one that is making me those things. And so it's not just all about pumping iron in the gym or or getting respect on my name in the streets. You know, I my my priority is exalting the name of my savior and and doing the will of God and being faithfully committed to those things, and in turn, because he's strong, then then now that makes me strong. And that's you know, in my opinion, you know, that's that's exactly what a kingdom man does.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_04Anybody else?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know the word kingdom comes together from two words, king and domain. And when we think about king and domain, you know, we think about the king's domain or the king's influence. So for for us to put the word kingdom in front of a man, we're speaking to the fact that this man has made a conscious and willful decision to surrender to God and to prioritize God's business over his own. So when we talk about a kingdom man, we're talking about a man that wakes up every day with one thing on his mind, and that's how to please the Father. You know, Jesus said, you know, in this manner, when you pray, our Father who are in heaven, hallowed be thy name, he says, Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. He said, This is what we are to pray for, this is what we are to seek. He says, Seek ye first in Matthew 6, 33, seek ye first the kingdom, and all these things will be added to you. So, you know, that that's what I think about when I think about not just about being a man, but when we think about being a kingdom man, you know, we're really talking about somebody who's really about my father's business. You know, when Mary said, Where were you? to the 12-year-old Jesus who was in the temple, he said, Didn't you know I must be able to my father's business? So a kingdom man, you know, in a nutshell is a man that's about God's business. That's what I that's how I see that.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, that's that's real good. When I think of the kingdom man itself, for me, I think of sacrificial leadership. And when I talk about sacrificial leadership, you know, we and when Adam was in the garden, God gave him a purpose, and he was aligned to God's purpose. A kingdom man to me is one who tries to align with God's purpose and what God has directed him to do or to be about, like um the panel said, the kingdom business. So you're aligned with God's the business, the kingdom business as a man of God. And like Pastor said, when you wake up in the morning, that's your goal to align yourself with what God is asking you to do as a man, as a leader, and that and to have dominion over what God has given you.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen.
SPEAKER_01Definitely agree with all the gentleman said, um sacrifice are two words that stick out. And uh just being an example uh through both of those, the same way that Jesus was, uh, to the most of to the best of your ability uh daily. Um things that God has given you. Um whatever that is in your domain, um, there's a I feel like there's a frequency, there's a kingdom has a frequency. Everything that is in your uh domain has a sound and a look and a feel that that draws to the presence of God and it it it uh attracts others to be um interested and intrigued by what's on you as a kingdom. You get you get a I'll call it the smear or you get the fingerprint when you're in the kingdom. That's your badge that the Lord that God he selects you to understanding the renewing of the mind. Uh when things of the world fall and pass away, when things of the you know, the carnal mindset and even the religious mindset, when those things fall and break down and crash, and you take on that mind of the kingdom of man, um you become a witness, and that's part of not necessarily just waking up to just do whatever you want to do. You know, there's a submission to the will of God that comes natural, and not only do you know it, but then your children know it, and they become versions of you, and then people around you understand it and under know it, and they want to do the same thing, and they want to be kingdom men and kingdom citizens citizens as well from watching you as an as an example. Amen.
SPEAKER_02Amen. I agree with that. Uh that's what I was thinking. Um, when I was thinking about the word kingdom men, uh domain was coming to my mind. But um, really, for you to be in a kingdom, you have to be submitted to the king. Um be submitted to his leadership, um, submitted to his his law and his instructions, you know. Um so I definitely believe like a kingdom man has to be submitted to the word of God. Um and when you think about like a citizen in a kingdom, many times citizens they want to be like the king, you know, so there has to be this natural desire to be like Christ so that you understand that the domain isn't necessarily a place, but it's actually it should be any atmosphere you enter into. That when you walk with that type of authority of a kingdom man, that wherever you go, you bring the kingdom with you. And like Jordan was saying, people see it as attractive. Um people are interested, people are curious. So I uh more than anything, it is really how you live, it's a lifestyle. Um, and your lifestyle has to look like Christ. Um because also like being a kingdom man is also being selfless, right? When you're when you're a kingdom man, you have to have a mindset that, yep, you and yours is saved, but eventually you have to begin to have a mindset that shifts that okay, not only is me and mine saved, but what about my neighbor? You know, and uh when I'm talking about it could be your next door neighbor, but I'm talking about people close to you, you know, inviting more into the kingdom. Um, you know, living a way that people want to enter into your domain or enter into the kingdom, you know. So I I just really believe it goes back to the lifestyle you live, and if you are representing Christ, the fruit that you bear that becomes attractive because a kingdom man isn't a man that's only focused about him. Kingdom man is that's focused on the citizens that's also you know in the kingdom or could actually become a part of it. So that's that's what I think.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen.
SPEAKER_04Wow. All right, gentlemen. Um, I'd like to move on to um this is just something that I heard recently called um faith-based masculinity. Um society often gives confusing messages about what masculinity looks like, but as believers, we know God's definition is different. Um what is your view on faith-based masculinity? What do you think that looks like?
SPEAKER_09I think when it comes to faith-based masculine identity, I think that looks like a person who is uh humble, right? Being a a man, sometimes we like to uh boss up, right? If somebody comes at us crooked, or somebody says something to us that uh that is not right, the world says, hey, check them, like who are you talking to, right? But being humble, you um it's very important that we are quick to hear and very slow to speak. Because just because you are loud does not mean uh that you're you're powerful. And so that's why it's like me, I work at a prison, right? And so as a CEO, I mean there are many times that I have to walk in humility, not not because I'm afraid or or I can't do or I'm fearful, but but mainly because I also know that these are God's people, right? I don't care what your past looks like, I don't care what you have have done, but I have to be very careful to walk in a certain way that that's that says, hey, I can easily put you down, but because I am a child of God, I'm also going to forgive you. I'm also going to walk humble because of my father who's in heaven, who of course leads me daily. And so that's one of the the the qualities I think a uh spiritually mass succulent man looks like.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_04Anybody else wanna want to weigh in on that?
SPEAKER_00I'll chime in.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00Uh when you know, a lot of times when we when we hear that word masculinity these days, it's it's following the word toxic, you know, because uh society has just moved in such a way where almost all masculinity is seen as being toxic or or wrong or out of whack in, you know, as a man, that that's a little disheartening sometimes, it's a little annoying sometimes, but we can't say that it's there uh for no reason, because there has been uh a lot of aggression from from from masculinity, there's been a lot of oppression from masculinity, there's there's been a lot of uh taking advantage of of the opposite sex uh due to masculinity. So so it can be toxic, but you know, femininity can also be toxic when it's not un when it's not balanced.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_00So um when we look at a a kingdom man's definition of of masculinity, um our our strength isn't in our muscles or or in our fighting stance or our or our abilities as far as that goes, but it's but it's in our faith. And so um when we look at the world's definition of masculinity, it's a moving target. What masculinity was in the 30s and the 40s is different than what it was in the 90s and the in the 2000s, and it's even different from then to what it is today. But in the Bible, the standards don't change, you know. Uh God God made man to to be the the head, to be the covering, uh to to walk in the same footsteps that Jesus walked in. And so just because uh you know we're quote unquote first or or the head or the covering, it's not a position where we are making everyone uh submit or we are dominating over everyone, but we are in a in more of a sacrificial role. And so uh as uh Pastor Jackson just just mentioned, you know, we are we aren't representing just ourselves, we're representing the Lord Jesus, and what we do is going to be seen by by others, how we react is going to affect others, and our masculinity is is based in wisdom and and and patience and uh and long suffering and all of the things that come as a result of being filled with the Spirit of God. Amen.
SPEAKER_02I agree with that. Um, what comes to my mind too about masculinity? Um I believe a masculine man that's spiritual is just the Bible says that the just shall live by faith. Um, I think that it's very important to be a man that's centered and balanced, and I feel that only comes by walking in the spirit of God, um, being able to, you know, have self control. I think that's another. Strong trait of you know the spiritual masculine man, the ability to control himself through the spirit of God. I believe all of the all of the fruits of the spirit, all nine of them, I believe those are great character traits that that shows what masculinity looks like for a man uh today. Um and I believe that faith kind of wraps that all up into just a single, you know, uh man is by the way that he's living, the way that he's just, meaning that you have the ability to discern what is God, what's not God, what's right, what's wrong. Um being able to um be vulnerable as well. I believe that that's strong as well. You know, I think that like the world tells us we have to be all so strong, and you know, like, but what happens, man, so many times, so many brothers be struggling, and because they lack vulnerability, they can't even go to another brother and say, hey man, bro, cover me, man. I'm really struggling with my such and such, my marriage or whatever. So I believe that that's actually being a masculine man when you can confess and be vulnerable in areas you need to grow. So I believe that contributes to the word just as well, because just is the person that that's balancing fair, you know. Um when you have that that ability to discern fairness, I believe that that is what actually creates a strong leader, too. Because like when you think of a king, right? Mostly, you know, they talk about kings that rule with iron fish, but it's the kings that rule justly whose legacy lives forever. And that's what our and that's what our king of kings, our lord of lords, he's a just king, you know. So I believe that being fair and being able to, you know, because also too, I think you you won't be able to be fair if you don't have wisdom. You know, um, there was a story in the Bible where two women was fighting over a child, and um, you know, it was like, okay, you know, neither of them could come to a conclusion, you know, one was lying, but one was telling the truth. And, you know, he was like, okay, you know, cut the baby in half, you know, but he knew that it wasn't really gonna cut the baby in half, but he was using wisdom and he was being just instead of just making a a decision to be like, oh, I'll just get a baby to her, whoever, you know. He used wisdom, and he knew that the real mother wouldn't allow for the child to be cut in half, you know. But that's the kind of wisdom that a man that's just because he wanted the child's real mother to have the child, you know. So I think that's just an example of what I'm giving of the Bible, but I do believe a masculine man is just today.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen. Anybody else?
SPEAKER_03But some of these words, some of these words get a little challenging in today's context, right?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_03Because when we when we talk about what's masculine, we also have to talk about what's feminine.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_03Now we look up the word masculine or masculinity, it says the definition is it's a set of traits, behaviors, and roles culturally associated with men and boys. Now, culture is shifting all the time. Pastor Wells talked about it. What it looked like in 1920 versus 1990s versus 2027. We now live in a time where the quarterback of the Chicago Bears paints his nails. But he's an NFL player. We were brought up, at least my generation, girls paint their nails, right? Not guys, right? So so so there's the world has created new language around these things, around fluid, gender fluidness, you know, where you can move and all these different things based on how you feel. Now, when you add the face base to it, now we have another interpretation that is competing with the way the world is moving and so forth, right? Now we got to add into other layers can men be attracted to men? You know, that you know, LGBT and all these other things and so forth that creates a lot of controversy. And I think what is happening, some of it is good, some of it is not so good, but for so long, a lot of men have not been able to tap into other emotions or have not been able to display those things. Like men don't cry, men don't go get help, and all these other things and so forth. When the reality is, is that all these emotions that were created by God, whether you're male or female, you should be able to move in these emotions based on wisdom, based on the situation. As a father, based on wisdom, I see my son is going through, I might need to cry with him. I might need to be soft, or some people would say your feminine side or something, to be able to be relevant, to be able to connect with my son and be able to show some strategic vulnerability that I hurt and that I go through when we have seen Hollywood project a certain version of masculinity. So now, as people who are faith-based people, we have to be very careful that we don't stray away from biblical foundation and we begin to embrace other definitions of what it means to be a man. I am gonna learn what it means to be a man by going to the word. For a lot of men, you know, you know, particularly in the African-American community, sometimes our fathers weren't present. And so we had to search for what does it mean to be a man? Like, where do I get that from? Do I do I do Bill Cosby come the guy when you grow up watching the Cosby show? And you know, you see different things. Is it Fred Sanford on San Francisco? You know, all you got is TV, right? But now this generation has social media, and so what we are now is we're we're we're in a in a in a very difficult crossroads where we have to begin to be careful about how we're defining this, where are we getting our models and our frameworks of what does it mean to be a father, what does it mean to be a man? And and we have to go to the word of God. We have to look to Jesus, we have to look to the Father. There's aspects where God shows himself in many different ways, right? Where Jesus is is soft enough that he's laying on the breast of John, that John's laying on the breast of Jesus, right? And some people could say, man, that that's kind of weird, right? But but it it the Bible is showing these relationships between David and John, where they have a covenant and so forth, and these are close friends and so forth. And so some of these things are not things that are talked about. And so sometimes men don't know how to show these aspects of their emotions because there's only one aspect that is always talked about. So I think, you know, I never heard of this concept, faith-based masculinity, but in my mind, I would think that it is maybe the church's attempt to try to get back to, you know, what it is from a more Christian traditional perspective as the world is trying to redefine it. So that that that that's that's what I would probably say to that.
SPEAKER_04Amen. Um, I'd like to tie um our sons um into that, into what we're talking about, just just how, and you touched on it a little bit, um, Dr. Knight, when you were saying um if your son is going through something, you might have to cry with him. I I'd like you all to kind of give an example of how you how you I don't even know how to word it, but how this this faith-based masculinity or how you just father your sons when they're going through something. How do you how do you each handle that? What is your parenting skills as a man of God? And I'm and I'm asking because we've got moms and we've got fathers that are listening today, and some are walking with the Lord and some are not. So, you know, listening to you all today, and like Pastor Knight touched on it, going to the word of God, that is your foundation, that is your guide. Please expound on that, gentlemen, so that the listeners, someone that's listening that might be struggling, doesn't know how to um interact with his son or how to help his son in a situation that he's going through right now. If someone wants to give, you know, just an example or insight.
SPEAKER_08I'll talk about it a little bit. Um and so for me, when I was even thinking about the faith-based masculinity, you know, I think our our masculinity should be we should be covenant uh relationship, you know, we should be in covenant, in covenant with God. I'm in covenant with my son, I'm in covenant with my wife, I'm in, I'm in covenant with my church, you know, to serve and to be a blessing, to, you know, and to be a help. Um, so and when you have and when you're when you understand you're in covenant, you it takes a different meaning just saying, I know a person. So I'll I'm in covenant there to support with, and I'll use my son as an example. I think you got to first understand your child. You got to first talk to your child and know, you know, if you have multiple children, uh just like if you're on a job, there's some people that you have to talk to differently in order to get your message across. There's some people who need different things at at different times. Uh, one of the things you I try to do with my son is just, you know, hey, just have a psychological safety net for him. As a as a son, I'm not gonna be, I don't know if anyone here, if you tried to talk about your emotions when you were growing up, when you're talking about when you're growing up, man up, boy. No one wanna hear all that. You know, it wasn't a safe space for you to necessarily communicate unless you went to your mom or your aunt or anything like that. So, you know, for my son, one, I try to get to a place where he's comfortable talking, whether you know, whether it's on a car ride, whether it's um talking about sports, whatever, you know, I pray the Lord, like, okay, give me an opening to be able to talk to him and be able to receive. And then I'm not so much trying to give him an answer or or a response, but I'm trying to hear where he's at because one, he's living in a world that's a lot different from when I grew up. So he, you know, so that faith-based, you know, masculinity is that is that covenant, you know, what does that look like? I think uh Dr. Nice said, do I need to cry with them? Do I need to let him know, like, hey, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to have these emotions, that safety that's okay to have these emotions that you're going through. You might be here, and at the end of the conversation, you know, let's work together to figure out, you know, how can you how can you deal with what you're going through and not just deal like we're gonna sweep it under the rug, but it might take more than a day, it might take more than just this conversation. We're not we might need to have multiple conversations and let them know that hey, this might not get solved or resolved today. We can pray about it, we can lay it at God's feet. What is God telling you? What are you hearing from God so he can develop his own relationship with with God? I can give him guidance, but again, I I don't know, I'm not I'm not privy to everything that he that he's gonna encounter in that day and age. I can you know, so I try to understand like, hey, what does this mean? What what what what are you doing here? So at first I gotta seek to be un, I gotta seek to understand to be understood. So I gotta seek what I gotta try to understand him at first. So that's for me in dealing with how my son do with masculinity, you know, not using terms like, well, that's weak. You solve for that. You know, I try to let him have his emotions, his time to process.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen.
SPEAKER_03Good earnest. I'll I'll take it a little bit several ways to add some interesting sauce to this conversation. The sometimes, you know, you we have to separate church from what's Bible, what's God, to what might even be Christianity, our version of it, from denomination to domination. You have so many different traditions and culture and all these different things and so forth. And so I think sometimes it can get really crazy and messy. Because if I'm just transparent, when I was coming up, oftentimes when I talk to preacher kids or kids who grew up in church, they had no relationship with their father, right? They they they they were so sold out for church, right? They knew all the scriptures you can know, but they wasn't present for their kids. And so now there's a generation of men that are saying, you know, like, let me pull back because you could be in church, but but the word not necessarily being you, and you not have a level of wisdom and humility that you're able to be relatable and you're able to even understand your kids or even see them and know how to relate to them. So I think it really, if we if we pull back the layer, right? There's an element where there's a culture in everything that exists with people. Anytime there's people present and there's a community, there's a culture. Now we have to step back and we have to say, how does this culture reflect God's word and God's revelation and his truth, right? Because sometimes tradition can get away from what the word really teaches, right? And then we could find ourselves embracing something that that will that will cause us to lose our marriage, it will cause us to lose our kids because we're not praying, we're not discerning, we're just going with the flow. And so I really think it goes back to um, you know, some of the basics of saying, you know, um, I think what helps for a man to be a really present father is a man has to first learn how to be present with God. And as a man learns how to be present with God and be humble before God, to be broken before God, that wisdom flows from above. And when that man has an ear to heaven, then it's gonna help that man to have an ear when it comes to the things on earth, particularly his home and his family. If a man is so busy working and he's getting all the money because he only sees provision as a way of saying, here, I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, but there comes a time in the son's life when he says, I need more than just your money. You know, I need you to coach me, I need you to see me, I need you to speak into me, I need you to speak life into me, right? To encourage me and all these different things and so forth. So I think prayer is a must, right? And I think people miss that, right? Not just prayer in the sense of, our Father, Lord, give me this, but prayer in the sense of well, prayer in the simplest form, far as definition, means to be in fellowship and communion with God. And so prayer is a form of worship that when I'm really in communion with God, God give me revelation about my son. So, so so prayer is not just me asking for things, but prayer is also me asking God how to be a better father because my children are growing. My children are going through things. God says, if any man lacks wisdom, let him ask, and God will give it liberally. And so when we talk about faith-based being kingdom, I'm understanding the responsibility that I have in my position in the home, that part of that is not just to provide financially, but it's also to provide an environment where my family can experience God, they can experience safety, they can they can see me model this out because part of fatherhood is also modeling. So kids catch what we do more than what we say. And so, how do I live this out before them? And how do I take time to not always be talking to my kids, but learning my kids, listening to them, understanding that this is always a moving target. And what I mean by that is that this is something that you never say that you mastered. It's one that this is an assignment and a role in the ministry, fatherhood, where we always have to be um leaning on God more than our own understanding, so that we can minister effectively as the priest of the home.
SPEAKER_04Amen. Wow, Dr. Knight, you you really kind of led me right on into you know my next question, which was what are some things sons need most from their fathers right now? And you you know, you touched on that. And one of the things that I wanted to ask um you kingdom dads is how do you build confidence in your sons? What do you do to build your sons' confidence?
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna piggyback off of what uh Dr. Knight just said. Uh, you know, uh a lot of times the the things that your kids uh especially your sons grab onto is what they see you do, not especially what you s what what what you say. And so sometimes it's easier to show 'em than to tell 'em. Uh but one day, one way of building their confidence uh I feel is to, you know, you celebrate their successes and you and you make their failures, you know, teachable moments and moments where you guys can can grow closer. Um with with with my sons, I've always tried to uh make sure they understand what the main thing is. And and the main thing isn't, you know, not being a failure or or not making me uh disappointed with them or or anything like that. But the main thing is that is that they grow and that they succeed and that they and that they uh grow in their relationship with with the Lord. And so uh, you know, I I have three sons, uh one in his 30s, one in his twenties, and one in his teens. And um and and no one gives you uh no one no one starts off this journey of parenthood uh getting all their pluses, you know, and so and so mistakes were made. And we learn from those mistakes. And and I found that sometimes in the way that I would parent, I wouldn't realize it, even though I had all of the greatest intentions, sometimes it builds up uh a wall between you and your children where they feel like, you know, they can only come to you for certain things or or at certain times and and things like that. And sometimes you need to take a step back and recognize exactly how they feel about things and and and and in some ways just spending time with them and and making sure they know that you care about the things that they care about or that you even want to know what they care about is something that gives them uh a boost of confidence knowing that they have someone on their side, uh especially their their their father on their side. Um and then also uh in the spending time with them, uh not always giving them the answers. Okay, you know, maybe maybe maybe just uh letting them know that I've been at this point before. This is this is how I handled it. I'm not sure how you're gonna handle it, but you know, um, you know, these are the mistakes I made, and and and maybe maybe you won't make these same mistakes. And and letting them see that that that you are human because sometimes you present a a polished version of yourself that's been edited for for television. You know, and they don't see any of the smudges, they don't see any of the bruises, they don't see any of the times where where you know you were sitting in the dark room crying. So you you you have to let them know that sometimes you sometimes you miss, sometimes you lose, but you get yourself up, dust yourself off, and you and and you try again. And and we serve a God that's able to to restore us. We serve a God that's able to to teach us, to grow us, and and and as a father, I am there for their benefit, you know, until until the Lord calls me home. So I just want to make sure I drive home the point that we're in this together. You know, this is a this is a team effort. And and just like they can always call on God, they can they can always call me. And and I will be there for them. And hopefully that that that helps them to have uh you know enough confidence to to to carry on.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen. Anybody else want to weigh in?
SPEAKER_01I dive in there. Man, this figure got really, really good. Um I was just thinking while uh Pastor Wells was talking, and um, it's so cool about how our boys, our sons, especially, uh, even us as men with our dads. And um, you know, you'll hear that comment, man. Like I'm sure you guys have heard it, you know, they'll say, Man, you walk like your dad, you walk just like him. There's certain traits that are undeniable, you know, if you know what I mean, right? You walk like them, and say you you got the same mannerisms, and that leads me to the you know, just the understanding that some things are taught, some things are caught, right? And you're being a you're trying to be the best example as you can. Um I think what I've learned and I was also thinking about from just through experience, because I I also I didn't remember until just now that I I there's a 34-year-old young man that I raised since he was 13 or 14. He wasn't in my home because of course I was young, but I still raise him. And I've also heard people say, Man, he talked like you, he walked like you, but I didn't birth this young man. So they the these individuals who you pour into, um the way that they get confidence is from the trust factor. The ability to have the trust that you have their best interests. I mean, they have your best interests as well. Um and one of the one of the schemes of the enemy, if I can pull something out, would be that we gotta be careful that we don't try to live through our kids. So the best way for me and for my example is to push purpose, push them to find and push them to move and operate in their purpose. Because the the the the uh the opposite end of that, if not doing that, is whatever trauma that you didn't have here, you'll end up pushing it and putting it onto them with passion, all that with all that natural uh traits. Yeah, you walk like them, yeah. You talk like them, but guess what? You're also super passionate like them, you also competitive like them, you also got an anger streak just like them. You also don't like the lose, you know, all those things, all that stuff is there, all that's there. So, you know, being healthy, being healthy and healed as a man is very important in these days as a kingdom man, and being balanced as well. You will have wisdom to understand order, order, and yes, you're always being evaluated by yourself. Confidence comes through competence. I mean, Dr. Knight was talking about that. If they see you studying, if you're studying and you are uh uh just so yourself approved, naturally confidence will be there, but it can't be your confidence, it can't be your confidence, it has to be their confidence. How God gave it to them. Push what God gave to them more than anything, and they'll be led to wisdom in all areas.
SPEAKER_04Amen. Amen. So I did it. Yeah, that was really good. I tell you, I'm learning a lot just listening to you, dads. Um I I want to just say to the Dr. Knight, he just does not know how many times I have like sat in church and when he has started speaking on the things that he imparts to his sons and the teaching, um, the God that goes on in his house. And I have sat there and I have been like, Lord, I know I'm not a dad, but please bless me to be able to um get that for my son. I I I'm not worried about Minister Brandon because God has definitely got him and he's on his path, but Jaden is younger and he's coming on, and I thank God that he has an uncle, you know, he has a brother, he has other uncles, and and and then we have been in a church that you know definitely works with young people and nurtures them, but you know, there's still things in the home, so you know, me being a single mom at times, just when I hear have heard him speaking about the things that he does with his sons and the conversations, and you know, I have just prayed, Lord, you know, bless my son to get that, you know, bless that to come into his life. I I know I'm not his dad, but Lord, I want him to receive that fatherly instruction, that direction. Um, so like I said, I'm thankful that he has an uncle and a um brother, and you know, because he's he's a college man, and Lord, I just kind of shake in my shoes when I try not to think about that too much. So I just put them in God's hands and you know, and go with that. But uh the things that you all are sharing today are so valuable and it's so helpful to mothers, and as well as we've got a lot of single dads out here, you know, raising their kids, you know. So when they hear other men and and you guys are being like so transparent, that's a blessing, and I know that is very helpful. So the next um topic that I would like to talk about is leadership, legacy, and responsibility. So, um, how how do you guys teach or have taught your sons about responsibility? Any any suggestions, any advice?
SPEAKER_03It's a good question. You know, one of the things I want to, if I can we could go back real quick, when you when you asked that question, I thought about you know how to instill confidence. I thought about Tiger Woods and his dad being so intentional to prepare him for the level of racism he would encounter. And and I also thought about Serena and Venus Williams and their dad, like we saw the movie, right?
SPEAKER_07Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And you'll see that in the both both these in both these examples, these were African-American kids that were in predominantly white sports where it's a lot of money, it's a lot of barriers, and they're gonna encounter a lot of racism and people making very like bias, underhanded type of like shade type stuff. But you'll notice in both situations the parent, the dad was there and was present, and and it was like the dad equipped them for it. So when we talk about you know preparing our children, there there's something called situational learning where we can create the situation before it happens to help build confidence, right? Like we do this sometimes when we are helping people to go out to do door-to-door ministry. We try to role play and create scenarios so that they can at least have some point of reference before it actually happens, so that they know how they gotta respond, right? And so, you know, I'm I don't know where I heard this from, but I was it was some video where it says that our voice has to be so loud that when our kids are in these situations, our voice is like an echo. You know, you think about when you were coming up, Brandon, you probably heard your mom say you wash dishes this way, and you can't get it, you can't get it out your head, right? Like when you're doing certain things, you know, my mother always said you do this, right? And there's certain things that we just can't divorce that that has become a part of who we are as grown men, because the Bible says when you when you train a child up in the way that he should go, when they get older, it becomes really hard to depart from it. And so there's a quote, it says that repetition is the key to programming. And so what I'm getting at is that there has to be a level of intentionality as as men of God, because the Bible says uh a man, blessed is a man whose quiver is full, because he says the kids would be like arrows. So so part of what I'm doing as a father is I'm helping to shoot my sons out and helping them to push them into their purpose, right? To to shoot them out there. And as I do that, as Jordan was touching on, is me learning how to come alongside them so that I'm not living through them, which is okay to do that, but it has to be balanced so that you help them to discover their purpose, but at the same time understanding what your role is so that you can anticipate. That's the key in sports, right? The people that we love, the Jordans, the brons, you know, the Dion's, they can see it before it happens. Well, in the kingdom, we call it being prophetic. We call it having eyes, right? To be able to see through the spirit of God of what's coming. I know what my son is going to go through. God has revealed it to me in dreams, he revealed it to me in prayer. That part of anticipating is a prophetic act of being able to see what is to come by the Spirit of God so that we can have the conversations and do the necessary work with our children to prepare them for that. Now, leading into your next question, when we talk about leadership, I think that's what leadership looks like. You know, leadership looks like service, it's not about just being in the front. Jesus gives us a model of leadership. He says, let he who wants to be the greatest among you be the greatest servant. So he said, I'm gonna wash your feet. You know, I'm gonna do these things. So leadership is sacrifice. And I think when we do that, we provide a model for our sons to follow. And I think we are able to build a legacy as a result of that because they see that um we were responsible. Because part of responsibility, I think, was baked into that is a level of consistency and dependability. Responsibility is something you can trust. When somebody's responsible, I can trust it. It's dependable. And so though those are some things, you know, um that was going in my mind.
SPEAKER_04Anybody else?
SPEAKER_00That was really good. That was really good. Um when we think of uh teaching our sons to be leaders or or or leading our sons in such a way to to to be a leader themselves, um we have to look at what Jesus did. You know, uh the the the Bible says that that Jesus um you know even though he was equal with God, came and he helmeted himself as a servant, you know, even though he had all his divine ability he picked up a towel and as uh Minister Hammond said earlier, washed the disciples' feet. Um and so as a as a leader, we have to to to show our service um in full eye view. You know, it can't be something that's that's hidden behind the scenes, but our sons need to see us in action and and not only are we you know serving them, but we're s we're we're serving others as well. You know, I think back to my childhood, my father um he's definitely uh was a was a leader in the in the household, but he was a a uh someone who worked a lot. My my my my father's uh you know, in his words, there's always something that needs to be done. And so if you saw my father, you most likely saw him working. And if you saw us, you most saw you most likely saw us working together. But even though he was leading us, he was down in the dirt with us. You know, he wasn't someone that ruled from an ivory palace that told us to do things that he himself was not uh willing to do. And so I think uh, you know, part of the the the the old school way of doing things where, you know, the pharaoh has his job and and the and the and the slaves have their jobs, you know, in this in in this day and age we need to be rubbing elbows with our sons and and sometimes even uh doing things that that would seemingly be beneath us so they can see this is this is how you lead, you know, this is how you uh uh lead your family. Sometimes you lead from behind your family. You can't always be first at everything. Um sometimes you have to sometimes you have to be last to get your plate to make sure that everybody else has food to eat. And so and so our sons have to see us consistently uh being not just willing, but also making sacrifices from a leadership perspective. And when they're old enough to understand we need to explain those things to them. Um and and you know, it can't just be just a one-time thing, but consistency is key.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_02I believe like walking in your purpose leads to legacy. Um I think for like how God ordered my steps and my family, like Layle is crazy. A Bayah found my music and she just be walking around the house listening to my music. And I'm like, wow, like you know, like she's starting to really learn the lyrics and stuff like that. But then it came to me as like, thank God that I'm glorifying God and I'm not like making like secular rap because my daughter is constantly listening to me. And I believe that walking in purpose and just showing your children like how all of us have been saying, we gotta live it. You know, we're living out leadership, we're living out legacy, you know, especially Doc. Doc's in a season of legacy, he's living it out, you know. James is living it out, you know, and we're we're all getting to that point of where we're living it out. And I think like for me, um, I think me and Jalil, hopefully I'll hear Jalil next. We probably have the youngest, you know, sons, bro. And I think for me, Juni just wants to be with me. And I'm starting to realize, like, okay, you know what? Wherever I go, I just let him come because I want him to see what I do. I want to, I want him to see how I talk, I want him to see how I conduct myself. You know, sometimes I'm like fixing stuff, and I'll something inside of me like, man, come on, Joe, watch out, you know, even away. But then I'm like, you know what? No, he's about to be right here. He's gonna watch me because one day he's gonna do this and he's gonna do it better than me. And that that's that's a father's heart that we raise our our son so good that they feed and pass what we accomplished. I think that's the real definition of legacy. Amen. You know, our children surpassing what we did.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen. I like that. Amen.
SPEAKER_03I think I think it's so important for those listening to understand how critical the father is in the order and the structure of God's design for the family. I talk to brothers at church all the time, you know, when we try to minister to to young men that are coming up, even older men, when a father is not present, Miss Beverly, it becomes hard for him to receive from a man because we have a generation of a lot of men that have not had strong men present in their life to correct them. So, so we have men that only want to, they're used to women being on them. So when another man holds them accountable and calls them in and says, You can't do this, you need to do this, and so forth, they they buckle and then they run away. It's like they don't know how to respond to that. And and I think that ties back to this legacy that we need men to be present, yeah, and and not and not not just be so quick to tap out and to quit. And because and and I would even I would say even go if I would just be honest, I'll you know, in church, we we deal with all these situations. There are men that are home, married, still not present, and they're putting the weight on the mother to have to be mother and father, to have to try to defend, to have to speak up. And the man's just there taking up space and just going to work, but he's not identifying who he needs to be in Christ and what that looks like to be the priest in the home to speak to that, you know what I mean? And and and that's where the enemy comes in at because the enemy can't come unless he comes and binds a strong man.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_03That the they don't lose a garden until Adam eats, and so so going back to where we start this conversation, we need strong, kingdom, faith-filled, spirit-filled men that's not gonna bow and it's not gonna eat what the serpent is trying to bring into the home through the kids, through whatever Avenue he's trying to give. We have to be men that are gonna be praying. Why is it that when it's a prayer meeting, the women show up, but the men don't think they need to be there? This is not God's design. In fact, in Judaism, we go back to the old testament, they couldn't even start church until it was 12 men present. A lot of churches be shut down in Lorentz County.
SPEAKER_07Oh, hey man, that's good.
SPEAKER_02You know it too. And just adding a little bit of my transparency because I I just want to come along and give context to what Dr. Knight is saying. I went through a scenario in my life when I was in tenth grade where something happened with my father, and the situation produced a mindset that led me even further away from um and what I mean by that is me and my father had a situation that the the actual conclusion out of it, I started to think I don't need a dad. You know, I don't need a dad. I was working a job at that time and my mom was always there, and I and I didn't realize what that mindset that I don't need a dad was creating rebellion. And what happens when there isn't a father, there there becomes this anger inside of a young boy, and he begins to become very rebellious. And I'll remember thinking back, because I I just sometimes I think over my life, I remember I didn't my dad never corrected me, too. I remember my dad whooped me one time when I was in second grade and I was cussing at school. And other than that, my dad never corrected me again, right? Until I was in my 20s and I was in a jail cell talking to him through glass. That was the next time he corrected me. And I thought about it like what Dr. Knight is saying, like, I wasn't used to having any man give me any kind of direction. I was figuring it out myself. And what would happen is every time a door closed, I would just go back to what I was, what I knew. Like in my family, I saw my cousins hustle. I saw my cousins get high and drink and be womanizers and stuff like that. And when doors started to close with me for college and I wasn't getting the grades I needed, I started to go back to what I knew. And that's when I used to just be in the streets because I'm like, well, you know, because I thought about it deeply one day. I'm like, man, you know what? If I was never introduced to that, I would have never had thought that was an option. If I had a father that told me, man, son, that's not the way to go. Because out of it, nothing good comes out of that. Maybe I would have had that mindset to be like, you know what? Man, I ain't gonna, you know, I ain't gonna get into the streets. I'm not gonna, you know, hustle. So us being present as, you know, in our children's life is so important because not even just us being present in our children's life, I don't believe that we truly learn how to be a father until we develop a relationship with the Heavenly Father. When we learn his love, that's when we begin to be able to give the right kind of love that our children need. And that and when I begin to walk with the Lord, that's when I begin to think like, even though I was like in my late 20s, me and my dad started developing a relationship again. Because I realized that's not no, that's not a healthy mindset that I don't need a father. You know, like I had to forgive him. I had to realize, you know, some of the things that I went through was just seasons in my life and that my father, he really did care, but he was just wired different. And I think sometimes, you know, children have to learn that, but that comes through maturity. But what I'm I'm going back to the point is, fathers, we are so important in our children's lives, and we really have to get as close as we can with the father so we know how to be the kind of father that our children need.
SPEAKER_04Yes. And and I just want to say so that you you all can really understand where I'm coming from. And and like I said in the beginning, my dad was present financially, but he was not present with his heart and his presence, which made me feel like a bill most of the time, until he and my mom parted, you know, ended up separating and eventually divorcing years later. But this is why I feel that the Lord has given me the ministry mom of sons, because I know deep within my soul how important it is for a young man to know God. When you have a relationship with God, you know God, you walk differently, you think differently. You know that God is holding you accountable, you know who God has made you to be as a man because your leadership, you're somebody's husband, somebody's father, somebody's safe place, somebody's spiritual covering. So I know clearly that God spoke to me months ago, and his core message is it is never too early for a mother to introduce her son to my son. That means in the womb. That means when a woman is carrying that baby boy, she needs to start speaking those affirmations over him because we are the nurturers, we are the first voice of love, God's representation that those baby boys hear. So I know it's very important for these boys to learn who God is and to grab hold of him at an early age. It changes his life, it makes him walk differently, he knows who he is in God, and when God blesses him with a family, he knows what to do where his family is concerned and his children. So that's where I feel mom of sons fits into what you all are talking about. And like I told that gentleman, I said, God always intended for children to be led and raised by godly counsel, that means a mom and a dad. I said, it's never been about oh, mom's reign, blah blah blah. It's not that at all. This is not a competition. We have our purpose that God has given the fathers in a child's life, and He has things He has given the mother to impart into the children's lives. Mom of Sons is just trying to walk alongside and do our part and get God's message to these mothers that it is never too early to introduce your son to God's son. He needs God in order to even be able to survive and all the things that you men have talked about, leadership, um, that the word of God is is your is your guide, it's your direction. A young man, if he doesn't know the Lord, he doesn't even know what we're talking about, is just foreign to him. Like we're talking a foreign language. So I'm sorry, I just get passionate about it. Free girl. We're here, we're here for it. We're here for it.
SPEAKER_08We're here about to that though, and Bev, is just that you know, I think a lot of times when we with our children, is we make them they're not in the car with us during our journey with the Lord. We don't have it all figured out. Some of us weren't raised in the church, some of us did have people who poured out into us in the church. And as you know, it's kind of like that person you witness to and you ask them to come to church, they say, once I get my life together, I'm gonna come to church. And sometimes, you know, we try to get our uh and we say, Well, hell, you know, you know, that will help you is coming to church, it's getting a relationship with the Lord. Yeah, and sometimes, you know, we we separate, we don't allow the our children necessarily to see the evolution of our of our relationship with with God. As a man, as a as a leader, I look at it as like we're a first responder. And that first responder that comes on the scene, the steps that they take is critical to get the person to the hospital. You know, what steps they took, the things they did, you know, until they get that person to the hospital. And that's the same way for us as a husband, as a friend. How does my son see me when I respond to my wife? You know, am I, you know, instead of me, you know, arguing back and forth and and you know, how do I handle a situation? How does my how do my son see me initially respond to that? And if I don't respond in the right way, do I come back to and say, hey, as a man, as a human, as a Christian, that wasn't the best way for me to approach that situation. I took that to the Lord, and the Lord, you know, gave me direction. He corrected me on that. And here's what the Lord told me to do, or I knew better when that took place, and I didn't I didn't respond to the best of my abilities or what got, you know, strength. And as a man, sometimes we didn't always get we got strength a lot, but we didn't sometimes we didn't get compassion, sometimes we didn't get humility from the men in our lives. So we're trying to, you know, figure, figure that out as well. So when you talk about leadership, you know, that leader is that you know that the the first one responds. I think uh Minister Brandon said it as well. A lot of times we get the challenge, but we don't get the care. There's a concept called radical candor, and in radical candor, it says, do you care personally before you challenge directly? And a lot of times we challenge directly before even letting the person know that we care personally for them. We believe our children know that we care personally for them because of what we do, but you know, like you said, sometimes you need the words of affirmation, you need the communication, like, hey son, I'm still trying to figure this out when I'm putting something together. You know, me and my son were we're doing some moving around the house, and I was trying to, you know, we were trying to come through this doorway. Stop for a minute and say, hey son, what do you think we should do here? Give me your take on it. How you know, build his confidence as well. Like, hey, should we come this way? How do you think we can get this up the steps? So I wanted to hear his thoughts for process because I know you know, when I was with my uncles or my grandfather, and they asked me a question, and you know, we did it the way I said it, it built my confidence. Like, oh, my grandfather asked me what what I thought or how we should do this. So I think in that, I think Pastor Knight always says that that humility, you know, humble leadership, how are we you how are we being you showing humility? It's okay to show humility, it's not taking away our strength. And as our sons and our daughters or what you know, whoever we're leading, you know, they need to see both sides of it, they need to see it holistically how we operate, amen.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_04Amen. Well, I know we could talk all day. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Mr. Jordan. When you were gonna say something, no, I just this is so good, and it is so much meat. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Um just had a thought, man. It was just bubbling. I was just thinking about uh talking about you know, correction and mistakes, and part of fatherhood is that part, like Brandon said, like um being that voice of correction. And also whatever response that you have to mistakes becomes a norm, becomes a standard. So blowing up or coming hard, coming down on hard, like that stuff you don't forget, right? Whatever the method is, it would it came from your great grandfather, went to the grandfather, it went to your dad, now it's you, now we doing the same thing to our sons, right? Yeah but um so much of it, man, you know, you you look at certain children, especially sons, and you can kind of like just off of a conversation, kind of just say, Man, I know what kind of environment they have at home. More than I know who their father is, I know who their mom is. You can you can just determine, okay, just you can almost see it just how they walk, how they talk. The environment, right? And part of the environment is dependent on the the man, the father, the man of the home, stepping up and being the man of the home in a righteous way, right? Kingdom way, not being the thermometer, but being the thermostat.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_01Okay, because the environment is everything when it comes to growth, when it comes to growth, and and it's two quotes. I just want to just put these out there, um, especially when it comes to correction and mistakes, because so much of that is just being a father. I have a son, um, and I laugh as many just like me. It comes to uh being like a perfectionist and wanting to do so good and right and not handling losses well. And I'm like, son, like this cool, man. But I get it, and I'm thinking about the quote that I think it was Wayne Gretzky, Wayne Gretzky, great hockey player. He said, You miss a you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So introducing that to my son to Judah, you know, hey man, you're gonna make some mistakes, but don't make the mistake of not trying. I mean, in trying, you make mistakes. It's cool, but let's do it like this, like Joshua said, and Joshua declared he wasn't quiet, he wasn't the thermometer, he was the thermostat. Joshua said it. He said in um, I wanted to make sure I quoted correctly. In Joshua 24, 15, he declared, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_01And that kind of like translates to this, and I love this quote as well: the environment that you create in your home as a man of God, today will be the foundation that your children will build their lives on tomorrow.
SPEAKER_04Wow, that's good. That's good. I'm telling you, we could we could talk all day. This is so good. But um before we close out, I would like if you all would would give some encouragement directly to the fathers and sons that are listening today. Um, and even some some moms that are single moms. Um so each one of you, what whatever God lays on your heart, you know, um, and whoever wants to start first.
SPEAKER_09I'm gonna go ahead and go go first. Okay. Um while everyone was was talking, um, I was just just thinking about my my personal situation situation and being a father of a kid that has a disability, right? There are many fathers who suffer with with kids who have disabilities. And most of them leave, right? Most of them uh they they they they find out that their their kid has Down syndrome, my son has Down syndrome, and I can remember um I can remember when the doctor called me in and it was it was during COVID and I knew something was wrong, because first God already showed me this. But be but because I was like, no, God, I don't want to like this keeps coming to me, I don't know why, but I knew for a fact, because I am rooted in faith, I don't care what was going to come. So the the doctor called me in and at this point we found out that our son had down the send. And I can remember the doctor, um he asked us if we wanted to uh to abort our baby. And what's so profound is simply this. I informed that doctor, and I said if God allows for that that seed to go forth, they will have a purpose. And so to the father who may be having a kid that has a disability, uh the father to a father, I want to encourage you not to give up, not to throw in the towel, because there's not there's not any fathers that have sons that know what to do, right? There is no manual that says, hey, if you have a kid with a disability, here, do this. In fact, the doctor told us 90% of parents abored children that have Down Tunis syndrome. And so at that point in time, my faith was so in tune with with God. And I said, if God lets this be go forth, he'll have purpose. If God did not intend for for my son to go forward, he would have killed him, right? Something would have happened. But I just want to encourage that father that may be um going through this currently. Trust God. Amen. Right? We don't um there's there's some of us who are go going through it. We don't know how to teach our kids that have disappointed abilities. It doesn't take much patience, but one thing about God is that that God will remain faithful. But but but you too have to remain faithful and just go along on this uh journey. It's not easy. I didn't know what God was was was going to do. I didn't know the outcome of this because who wants to, of course, have a son that might not have children, right? But for some odd reason, God does everything for a purpose, and so I say that God is a miracle worker because my sister's son, he has uh went against all odds that the doctor had to say, and so so he is currently a walking miracle, amen. But at first I didn't know what to expect. So I'm just saying, hey, Father, trust God.
SPEAKER_05Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.
SPEAKER_00That's a powerful, that is a powerful testimony, Pastor.
SPEAKER_05Amen.
SPEAKER_00Um the advice I would give to mothers raising sons, um, first and foremost is is believe on God, trust in God, lean on God, hold on to God, and and depend on him. Um you're going to need to know the Lord in order to raise your sons right. And so some mothers aren't aren't believers, some are. But God needs to be the major piece in that puzzle. Um and and if and if you are a mother that's that's raising sons, I'm I'm I'm thinking that with this question, we're we're thinking of the the single mother. Am I right in that?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_00So um for for for single mothers, um, I want you to to to know you don't have to do it alone. Uh whether or not the father is in that son's life, there are other uh men out there, upstanding men, uh righteous, god fearing, and and and god-obeying men that uh that would love to to help you in whatever way they can to raise your son, to to help you raise your son. Um and and again, we need to trust in God that He's going to send uh the provision of what we need. You know, I can't tell you how many times in different aspects or different areas of life that I've dealt with uh people that that that had children that you know, just to make a long story short, they it's almost like they didn't know what to do with them, or or maybe maybe they didn't value. them in a way that I would think that a parent should value their child and you know and it breaks my heart. But there are people out here that that have children that that that are able to help. And there's people out here that would love to have a child but unfortunately aren't able to that that would devote time and energy and resources in helping you to raise your son. So sometimes we feel like we're in this fight all alone. I want the mothers out there to know that you're not alone. You have you have family you have church family you have friends you have community that are that are willing to to to lend a helping hand.
SPEAKER_08Sometimes we just don't know what's out there because we haven't looked or or tried to look so uh I'm gonna finish where I started uh you got to trust in God believe on God lean on him and hold on to him anyone else my no I was I would say just I think Brandon you know from a from a person that encouraged mothers who was raised by a single mom you know and who had you know influences around him where you know she got got us around uncles and grandfathers and she had brothers and different things like that be of good courage is that I know the world nowadays wants uh people not just women but men to live in fear and we want to protect our child from from everything that we we have from everything that we see we don't understand it so um don't operate out of fear and don't operate out of uh what the world tells you of lack but be strong in the Lord in the power of his might you know and trust God um with your child you know sometimes you know we get we got to give our child back to the Lord sometimes you know that's what we that's the first thing to do is give your child um back to the Lord put the put your child in the Lord's hands and by doing that put yourself in the Lord's hands as well and let the Lord direct and lead and guide you uh like uh Pastor Wells said let the Lord lead direct and guide you on how you should raise your kids how you how how to prepare your kids your sons for the world that they're entering in and go you know and go it like like David said I come in the name of the Lord you know so make sure that you know who you have that the one don't like yes other people around you hopefully there's a community that the Lord and pray for that community for your child as well but also what you want to do is trust in the Lord with all our heart lean not to thy own understanding in all your ways acknowledge God and he will show he shall direct your path so that's what my encouragement is is to trust God and be of good courage and don't don't raise your kids in fear.
SPEAKER_02Amen so to speak to raise your kids in the spirit of the Lord amen that's beautiful that's beautiful I would say uh be uh who you you needed when you were little be all those things that that you needed to be that amen don't don't be so safe don't be so safe try and uh ask questions you see someone that is doing well you see someone that is modeling kingdom mindset building an amazing uh healthy environment for their children ask ask questions ask uh never stop learning and that's all I'm saying encourage I would encourage that for sure amen um my advice would be you know the Bible says train a child up in a way so they will not depart from it um I I believe that my advice for a parent is you have to know that no matter what you're preaching it's really your behaviors that is really you know raising your child so you can't you can't expect good habits out of bad living um you know you you you really have to check yourself and you have to really be present you know in your child's life um it's so easy to get stuck in this digital world or you know where you're not present or that um you know like that illusion of providing that I'm providing so much for my my children and I don't have to spend time with them you know um you know I I believe that time spent is the greatest display of love you know there's a like I love that movie where um Will Smith was homeless but he was grinding hard with his son right there you know like he he he taught his son so many lessons and he was homeless you know but he the way that he strived and didn't give up and when he finally had got that job you know he was right there I I believe man that's a really was that pursuit of happiness I think that yes man that's an excellent story of like a selfless father you know um just sacrificing everything you know there was I remember there were scenes in that movie where he was going without food so his child could eat you know uh just a whole bunch of different things you know but I I really I just want to you know stay focused on the part is that you know our behaviors is what truly train up our children so you know even what we might be you know telling them you can't do this you can't do that you just gotta make sure that you're living that because our children of today they're not stupid you know they they see exactly what we're doing and they're like well you don't do that you know sometimes that's why I believe sometimes that's why you even see it in your children with their lack of uh like their lack of care in God sometimes you see that in church like man what you know certain children just they're not you know at all um interested in God but then when you really look at it like I think it was um brother Jordan that said like let your children see you study it you know like you if your children don't see you studying the word and then Sunday comes and now you know you holder than thou you know your your children is like but you don't do that at home so they don't have a natural interest in God so I just you know my advice is man live what you're preaching and make sure you know you're preaching the word of God and you're getting you're feeding yourself you know and living to your best ability like Christ.
SPEAKER_03Amen oh very well spoken um couple thoughts a couple thoughts um I as I was listening to everyone I thought about what is something simple I could share um humility has just been a big word for me I've built the whole ministry around it um humble parenting the opposite of humility is pride what we know about pride is that pride is the mother of all sin. It was the first one it was pride that turned an angel into a devil the devil lost his position he lost the glory that he had because of his pride and so I think about what does pride look like in the house what does pride look like um you know as a father as a parent one of the things that you know I I try to remind our church about is that Christianity is community and and and and for a lot of people they kind of flex and say this is just my relationship with God and God talked to me but Christianity was birthed in community. Yes and it takes humility to be in community right um and so my words of wisdom is that you don't have to do this alone. One of the ways that we define humility is recognizing that you know your limitations you know what you're good at you know what you're not good at you know what you know you know what you don't know and so oftentimes we don't get the wisdom we don't get the help that we need in raising our sons our children because we're so prideful that we don't want to ask and so and so it's the African proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child. Yes there's another quote it says only the humble can grow because only the humble can learn you will never grow where there's no humility because you don't think that you need to listen so humility is the key to growth it's the key to learning and so we go further um together and and and that that's my prayer you know when I even when I think about some of our black and brown communities that that that we have to begin to think about what does it mean to build the village because Pastor Wells might be really good or something I'm not and when we come together the Bible says two are better than one and the three floor chord is not easily broken. Yes and and so and so I think that's what the future looks like we've already seen these models in other cultures you know when we think about the dollar it it lasts longer in other communities than it does in the African American community because we won't work together and so forth. And I think about these dynamics I think about these frameworks how it impacts socioeconomic impoverished communities where people just leave me alone I won't be bothered and so what happens is we get a generational cycle that's repetitive and we have to break that and I think we break that by humbling ourselves God says if my people which are called by my name will humble themselves and pray he says then will I hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and I will heal their land I believe that's what we need in this hour is we need God's grace to show up his mercy to bring forgiveness and to bring healing but that will not happen without humility. And so I want every person that's listening a parent to to know that there's grace for you to know that it's not too late. Amen for those parents that are listening whose child is older and they may feel like they're on their own it's not too late. Because as Brandon spoke to it even when he got older he said I still needed my dad as he came into the Lord he said God can still heal it he can still mend it whether you're 40 you're 50 20 whatever age it is God can still heal it because you never get to that place where you don't need your dad you don't need your mom and so hopefully those that are listening to this that God really moves on them that they will begin the process of reconciliation or the process of reconnecting and that takes humility to do that. But where humility shows up man it'll keep the devil away so that's my prayer those my important words Amen Amen this conversation has truly been powerful honest inspiring and necessary I believe today's discussion reminded us that God is still raising up kingdom men and kingdom fathers who lead with faith integrity wisdom compassion strength and purpose to all the fathers stepfathers grandfathers mentors spiritual fathers uncles and men helping guide the next generation thank you your leadership matters your prayers matter your presence definitely matters Pastor Knight would you uh lead us in a in a word of prayer please yeah thank you thank you for the opportunity Lord I I thank you for you know what what you're doing through this ministry Mother of Sons Mama Sons I just pray over Miss Beverly Lord God that you give her the wisdom you give her the grace just to continue to prosper at whatever she sets her mind to Lord just bless the work of her hands. I'm reminded of Proverbs 31 of the virtuous woman who who who who was was was was was so equipped to manage her home but also to be able to effectively run her ministry and her business and so God I pray that um over our sister I pray Lord that those who listen to this that their hearts are soft that the word will land on good ground that it will produce much fruit some 30 some 60 some 100 and Lord I thank you Lord that the devil will not get your glory he will not be able to steal the word that was planted today and so Father we just declare that the enemy will be defeated and that he's under our feet and we thank you for all the guests that that that were able to be on this podcast as panelists we just pray favor and and health and strength and life over their lives and over their ministries and their callings and I thank you father for what you're doing and we're gonna continue to believe you Lord that this is just the beginning of something even more that's to come as a result of this Lord so in Jesus' name we give you praise and we thank you Lord amen amen and I want to thank you men of God again for joining me today and if there's somebody you guys want to say happy father's day to please you know give a shout out want to say happy father's day to my father uh James Awell Sr.
SPEAKER_02He has made me and my brothers the men that we are today happy Father's Day Amen I like to say happy Father's Day to my father Michael Ammons and I just I definitely want to give him his flowers because my father has had difficult conversations but he's been so honest and transparent and is really giving us a chance to have reconciliation and I just want to let you know man I love you dad appreciate you amen happy father's day to my father and happy father's day to all the men um that I know that have really been present amen amen and I want to thank all the listeners for joining us today for the special Father's Day episode please like share subscribe and continue these conversations with your families sons fathers and communities remember we are not just raising boys we are raising kingdom men.
SPEAKER_04Until next time stay encouraged stay prayerful every