Sports Biz - All Sports, All Access, All The Time
A roundup of all things sports from around the world with stats, insight, fun and hilarity
Sports Biz - All Sports, All Access, All The Time
#033 - Arsenal on the brink, spying from behind trees and so much more fun.
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Would you believe its episode 33 with John and Martin here to entertain you with the latest on the English Premier League, Martin getting all excited about Adelaide Crows, John's doing the clickerist (this week top sports click bait), updates with the NBA and a new section "Get the foot outta here !".
Good evening, sports biz family, and welcome to episode 33. It's going quick, isn't it? With more frivolity, fun and pheromones of Mr. Martin Winnell, aka the dog. Hello, everybody. Indeed. And myself, John Briggs, or Briggsy, as some of you prefer to call me, the only podcast you will need in your life. Because we hit all those open cracks in all the sports all the time. Because sport is life, and life is sport. What is happening? Martin. Well, John, it's the sporting mecca, isn't it? Everything's happening as always. Yeah. But we've actually got a few finals series going on around the world. There's a lot of culmination of seasons from overseas. Yeah. NHL, MBA, EPL, A-League here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's all they're all drawing to a close. Yeah, yeah. So with some exciting bits and pieces, some exciting results, which we'll cover off and have a bit of a chat about. Uh-huh. The same olds for Australia. Rugby league, the magic round. Yeah. Play every game at one stadium in the pissing wet. In Suncorp, I believe. Yes. There you go. It wasn't a lot of sun. I think it was just caught this weekend. So I wouldn't have wanted to have played probably this afternoon or tonight on that ground. I reckon it would have been churned up like a like a paddock at milking time. Indeed. Absolutely right. Yes. Indeed. So well, but yeah, and AFL and bits and pieces all over the place. I'm sure there's some tennis somewhere. There must be tennis, tennis played all year round, I suppose. There's tennis, there's boxing, there's soccer, like you said. We've got the build-up to the World Cup coming up as well. Oh, goodness. There's some MMA, a little bit of MA MMA. And Formula One is to basically touch on it. But Martin, we're going to cheers. Are we cheersing immediately? Yeah. We must have something to celebrate. I'm just thirsty, mate. Oh, well, that's a good reason to celebrate. I'll just come off the golf course. Oh, there you go. So before you do, ballistic beer company. Cheers, buddy. Cheers, mate. With a Hawaiian hazy ale. Western Brisbane. Alright. Is where it is. It's like what's this hazy thing? It's like, you know, it's all the time. Well, if you poured it into a glass, it would look hazy. Right. Does it taste all right, though? It tastes really nice. Thank you very much. Well, like I said, I've just had nine holes of gold, so anything's going to taste really nice after that. Especially because I won. Anyway. And you played someone of note, my son. And you beat your son. I got my title back. And that's all that counts. Anyway, on that note, I actually have. I thought you'd appreciate my joke more than that, John. Oh. Sorry. You beat your son. Oh, look. We were talking about. He belt chatted you. We were talking about golf. On that note, Martin, I do actually have a golf joke. Oh dear. Yeah, John's joke. A man was marooned. And that is marooned, by the way, not maroned, as you Australians would say it. Because it is coming up to what's the context of your word? Well, he is. Is he isolated and stuck? Absolutely. Then us Aussies would still say maroon. You reckon? You're not too sure about that. You're a complete maroon. Maroon. That's Queenslander. That's Queenslander. Especially with it coming up to state of origin. When we are too. Yes, I know. I believe teams are named next week. For the marooners. State of origin. They sound like I said, that's Queenslanders. You've got to remember Queensland is to Australia what the Irish are to the world. Well, maybe so. Okay, go on. Sorry, you're on the golf course. Yes. Well, actually, no, it isn't sort of a golf joke, but come into that in a second. So a man was marooned. That's right. Yes, marooned. On a desert island. Okay. Picture. Palm tree. Got it. Palm tree. Palm tree. Coconut. Idyllic. Yeah. Sand. Yep. And that's it. Yep. And waves. Gentle lapping waves. Lovely. He's really hungry as well. He's living off insects. Not as lovely. I know. So, anyway, he's lying there. Bit like uh, what's his name? Tom Hanks in that other movie. Ah, marooned? I don't know. What was that called? He just had a basketball as a mate. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, what was his name? Wilson! Ah, Wilson, yes, picture that. I'm picturing Wilson. Sort of. So he's lying there. And really thin because he's had no proper food. Did you say something like sex? Insects. Oh. Well, he wouldn't be having any sex. Because there's no one there to have sex with. But you said he was insects. No, I didn't. I said he was eating insects. Oh, sorry. That's right. I feel like this joke has run off the rails, John. So where are we heading? And he's lying there. And and and out of the water he sees a scuba diver coming towards him. Couldn't believe me. What the hell is going on here? So and it's like Ursula, Ursula Andress, Andress, I should say, in James Bond. Dr. No. Yes. Correct. Of course. And out she walks, and this incredible figure takes off the goggles and the mask and the snorkel, shakes the hair out, and he can't believe thinking, oh she's walking towards him, absolutely stunning. And he's there going, Is this a mirage or what? And she walks up to him and says, in this weird European accent, because I can't exactly you're not gonna know the European accent. Yep. How long is it since you have had a cigarette? It's probably French, but could be Belgian, might be Luxembourg. And probably a year. He's shaking like a leaf. And she unzips from one side pocket a packet of cigarettes and a zippo lighter, puts the cigarette in his mouth and lights it. And he's dragging on the cigarette. He's oh my god, it's fantastic. And then she unzips the other side and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. She's how long is it since you all had a sip of whiskey? You sound like the the Frenchman out of the Simpsons. And she goes, and he's over here. So she gives him the bottle and he swigs down this whiskey. And they can't believe it. You know, thinking, oh my god. Then she starts to unzip down the middle of her frog suit. Of her frog suit, yes, that's correct. Nice. And she has got very round globular lady friends. Yes, okay. Indeed, puppies. And he she starts to unzip them. And she says, So tell me, when was the last time you played around? And he goes, Cool, Blarney, don't tell me you got a set of golf clubs in there, have you? Anyway, that does lead a little bit into some quick bites, real quick. What the hell could that awesome green lead to golf? The USPGA. Three days in, Alex Smalley, I've never heard of him before in my whole entire life, leads with one day to go, with the field behind him of a more inclusive set of names like Rory McElroy and Scotty Scheffler. I mean, they're breathing down his neck. Boxing. Micah Rivetti, who I interviewed the other day, which will be released sometime in the near future. Yeah. Is fighting for an Australian title at the age of 41. Light heavyweight, a reliable story. He's come back from he's gone Coast Boy. Yeah, yeah, awesome. He's going down to Perth to fight for an Australian title. I think it's a cross. Okay. Okay. For the Australian geography. Alright. So he's going across to Perth to fight for the Australian title. His opponent's like 25, 6'3. Mike is only about 5'6. Used to be a welterweight. He's moved up weights, a number of weights to fight a light heavyweight. It's absolutely unbelievable. That's incredible. Apart from that, in boxing, a German called Victor Jürk pulled off possibly the fastest KO by knocking out his opponent with the very first punch of the fight. He just walked over bonk out cold. Unlucky. I know. I've seen a few flying knees in MMA, which have been the first impact and unexpected, and bang. Yeah. She's all that was it. Yeah. Hang on, I can't. Talking about that, Rhonda Rousey in MMA comeback. Rhonda? Did it help me, Rhonda? Did it, according to the Beach Boys, did exactly that today. I didn't think she needed help. 17 seconds. 17 seconds to seal her win and her comeback fight. I know. Quite amazing, really. But yeah. So how old Rhonda Rousey bees. She's 39 or 41, and one or the other. Might be 40. Yeah. But 39, 40, or 41. So anywhere in there. Yeah. She'll probably go into promotion, I would say, as a promoter. You know, when you get past a sell by date as a fighter. Yeah, yeah. I would say that's where it's. Manager, promoter. The money is. Yeah. Yep. Good honour. Absolutely. Again, was the face. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yep. Now she hits faces. So, um she always does. Cricket. England selection. Oh, how did they go? For the forthcoming up company. Who are they playing? New Zealand. Okay. Yeah. At home. Finally, yes, finally dropped Crawley. Whoa. Uh, won't Daddy be a little unhappy? Won't they lose funding through Lords or whatever it is that he runs? More than likely. Okay. Um, Emilio Gay, a name which many people would not have heard of. Well, he's a new opener. You'd be happy he's in the team. And why would I be happy, Martin? Because he's gay. Because he's certainly gay. He was gay, I should say. Yes. So you're happy. Well, that's right. Good lord. That's that's true tonight. Well, no, it isn't. It's only because the word has been bastardized to use in a for a different description than it actually formally was. I know. His parents are uh his mum's Italian. So Italy back in the forefront of cricket again. Ollie Pope is out. Uh, two guys I've kept an eye on for a while now, Sonny Baker in the fast bowling stakes, and James Roo, batter keeper. I believe James Roo's quite good. I find it interesting that they bring in a player with the heritage from Italy and at the same time boot out the Pope. I know. But they kept Jesus? That's because the Vatican. Did they keep Jesus? White Jesus? Did they keep White Jesus? I don't know. Bethel? Oh yes. Bethel. The holy one? The Bethlehem. Yes. Oh yeah, he's in. He's gonna be that one. Is he gonna be gonna be White Jesus? I mean, is that gonna end up being his? I don't think anybody can be called that. It's a little bit high. Well, they called Michael Jordan Black Jesus. They did. But I'm not suggesting that Bethel is going to in some way be at that level in cricket. Don't know. You never know. Well, his surname sort of is halfway there. Very true, indeed. So, anyway, so that's that. In soccer, Manchester City won the FA Cup, beating Chelsea 1-0 with a goal from Semeno yesterday. Uh yeah, the FA Cup, it's not as big as it used to be. Well done. Don't even believe it made the news. Hardly. It hardly made the news in England. It used to. I know. It used to be massive, didn't it? And it's a shame it's really there on the when I was younger. We used to get up to watch it. Me too. Even in Adelaide. Yeah. And we were not remotely soccer fans or English. Yeah. But we would have parties at people's houses and stay up. It'd be on like one or something. Twelve. Well, yeah. It used to be massive in England. And even if my team, Leeds United, weren't in the final, which was at all the time since I'd been alive. Not alive, but since I remember. Whoever played, it was a great day. You know, it was the whole day was I know. Yeah, absolutely. Shame, but there you go. Times have changed. So Man City. Yeah, Man City won. Um, and what more importantly, though, I know this might not be of interest to yourself, but a guy called Phil Foden provided the assisting pass. Now, Foden's been way out of form. Uh, he was the golden child for the England squad. Right. Um, great player, bad form of late. But could that be a water? Is that his his tipping point? He could be. His turning point. Because he's a really good player. I hope he's included in the English squad. His form's changed on a U-turn. Yeah. Well, talk about form. Killian Mbappe for Real Madrid. Not long ago, the best player in the world. That's right. Now he's only the fourth choice striker for Real Madrid. It's unbelievable, isn't it? How quickly these things change. That could have been under a Joker or a Joker or a choker. Well, it might not be his fault. He could have been injured, I'm not quite certain. But he certainly isn't the player he was, although leading into the World Cup, these guys have a habit of standing up in those moments, don't they? Bring on the World Cup. It is Australia's to bring home. Um it is on my notes here, Martin. So, not too far away. Ingoland, England, Engoland, Engoland. I'll shut up right now. So we've got France, no Italy, Argentina, Spain. Hang on, hang on. Let's not gloss over that. Let's not gloss over that. It's the third in a row, isn't it? No, I'm not sure. Oh, I think it might be the third World Cup's finals in a row that Italy have failed to qualify for. There you go. But they're getting brilliant at every other flaming sport that they they play. It's really got tennis players that are playing well. I know. But weird sports. I mean cricket, cricket, rugby union. Who would have thought that Italy would and there's other sports where they're they're doing really well in as well. So I hear they're very strong in water polo. But really. Yes. There you go. And I think they did pretty well in the Winter Olympics, didn't they? Oh, they did. Yeah. So yes, they did. Just not that pesky game that they don't like very much. Soccer. Soccer. Well, they do. That's the thing, you see. They do like it, they love it. It's like Brazil. Not enough. Obviously not. Anyway, so you got the usual suspects. France are favourites. Yeah. Argentina. Spain are right up there. Germany's gotta be there somewhere, don't they? Holland, Belgium, Portugal, England. Quarter finals for England. Maybe. We used the semis last year, so we'll be looking to go one firm. Something to be proud of. Lose the final. Hey, look, when was the last time you had a semi? Moving on. Don't be hard on yourself, Martin. So I don't think we've ever had a semi. What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. Anyway, Messi, Lionel Messi, Leon L. I would imagine it would be Messi. It's all happening. He's in his Lionel Messi or Leon L, however you want to pronounce it. He's in his sixth World Cup. That's a lot. That's incredible. He's 36th. Is this just because Argentina don't have anyone else to pick? Look, no, I mean frankly, aren't they reigning they are the world championships? Reigning world champions. Well, you wouldn't change that up in a hurry. Well, he'll probably come on as a sub and a damn good sub to have. It's a pretty solid sub. I mean, he's still pretty good, but not for 90 minutes. So Neymar's playing for Brazil, as is Ronaldo for Portugal. So other names to look out for. Obviously, Erlin Haaland. We've mentioned him before. Harry Kane, of course. The guy is a great one. Ronaldo, is he still popping around for Portugal? Yeah, yeah, he's there. Jude Bellingham for England. Um, bit of show pony of late, but again, a year ago was probably the best player in the world. And then you've got uh Lamina Yamaha from Spain, he's a genius. Uh Junior from Brazil. Uh, and he's a weird one. Apparently, this guy is superb, and although I haven't seen much of him. Alfonso Davis for Canada. I know. Canada Inn. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you've I I see you've you've missed uh Matthew Lecky. Matthew Lecky. Matthew Leckie had a stellar career in second-tier German football. Okay. Uh, very, very good player, though. Very, very good player. Back in the uh A-League now, playing for Australia. Great name of a player. I I heard an interview on the radio the other day with a guy who has had a bad Achilles injury and he can't wait to get back in the Socceroo team. Okay. And he has an incredibly broad Scottish accent. I thought that is brilliant. Good on him. Why not? However, you have says the man who has Great Britain under his belt. Barangu's cool. Yes, of course. Oh. Tell me about it, Martin. Well, first of all, long, long lineage in Australia. Okay. Um, fourth generation. Is he a marsupial? No. Is he a kangaroo? Barangu. It's like the same. Oh no, it's more like barangaroo. Yeah, barangaroo. Yeah, well, that's a place. That's not a marsupial. Well, it could be a marsupial. I don't know. No, it's a place. It's where the casino is. In Sydney. Terrible station on the metro. Isn't it? Don't go there. Go one further. Okay. Walk back. Yeah. Never go to Bangaroo. Okay. Had a bad experience there. All right. Uh uh, yeah. So um, yeah, like I said, the room of my life, aren't you? Fourth, fifth generation. Very nice. I did get that. Thank you so much. Dear. Dear ya. It slowed down because the joke wasn't that good. It was terrible. Uh, I believe he is an outstanding midfielder. Um and uh yeah, he's a uh a treasure. He will score two goals. Which when you play for Australia, if you can go to the World Cup and boot two goals, yeah, you are Kale Qiduca level. Okay, yeah. Oh, look, well, he's been touted as a name to look out for with the not so fashionable teams. Yes. So I hope he does rather well. Absolutely. You've got the A-League. I'm gonna stick on I'm gonna stick on the A-League, yes. So, mate, we had the second leg of the semi-finals. Now, this was just to recap, Adelaide went to Auckland, scored a one-all draw. We're in the box seat coming home. Right. Sydney, no, sorry, Newcastle went to Sydney. Yeah. Box seat, they got a one-all draw, box seat coming home. Uh-huh. So, the Adelaide-Auckland game, bit of an odd game. There was a suggestion that Auckland played a lot more rugby in their tackling than they did soccer. Right. So uh I saw some of it, it wasn't terrible, but there was a lot of crap let go. Okay. So there's one of those refs. Yeah, yeah. However, it probably didn't equate to Adelaide producing one of the all-time chokes. Oh, really? To lose 3-0. Oh no. At home and blundered their way out of Heinmarsh with nothing to show for the season. Oh my god. Your beloved banana. It's that's three from three. AFL last year, MBL this year, and now the A-League. Do you know what? I do a joker or choker or something. No, no, no. I figured that's I figured that one. Whoa! Well you've done it for me. You would think that you couldn't choke worse than that. Yeah, gone. But let's remember Adelaide was only the second best team in the A-League. Yeah. The best team was Newcastle. Yeah. Who went home after drawing in Sydney, went back to the stadium, took on Sydney, and dropped at 4 2 in the penalty shootout, and they got knocked out as well. Wow. And they were the standout performers. So that's a big deal. So finishing first, Newcastle, not in the final. Finishing second, Adelaide United, not in the final. No way. So now we've got Auckland versus Sydney, and Auckland, courtesy of finishing third, have the home ground advantage. Oh wow. So you might get a New Zealand team anymore. Auckland have pulled this out of the fire. So they're going to kick your ass in rugby, gonna kick your ass in soccer. What the heck is going on here? It's uh the Kiwi fest. Well, let's hope they can't work out how to play chess cricket, eh? Or else you're in trouble. So the A-League, frankly, has turned to shine. Yeah. Yep. So we won't bother reporting on that final next week. No, don't really care. Do you Martin, do you have anything on Formula One? I mean, I've got a couple of bits and pieces here. There's not a lot going on, is there? Well, look, I it's read up that the cars again are being brought into question. However, however, the TV viewing has increased, which obviously means money and popularity. So even if there is a bit of an issue with the drivers and the cars and the da-da-da, would does that really matter? Because it's becoming a more popular sport. Uh, I think it's a more popular sport because the people that are on the fence about it are seeing some new names. Yeah. And it's become more interesting. Okay. Yeah, that's fair enough. Um, when you get used to watching Hamilton or Verstappen win by 32 seconds, yeah, and it's just basically 20 cars doing time trial laps pretty much because there's no overtaking. Yeah, which is again why they make the strategic changes to the vehicles. Yeah. It's so that there can be more actual racing. Yeah. And there's more overtaking. Yes. And they've also changed where they do sprint races and longer races, similar to what the V8s do, but it creates more actual racing. Yeah, absolutely. So the sooner they get rid of their ridiculous, only the top ten finishers earn points and have points all the way down the line to whoever finishes last, yeah, the better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the dumbest bloody things in Formula One that they've never changed. Right. I could rant about that, but I don't think it's worth it. Well, we've got to rant in your panel. So it's really dumb. The next set of engine regulations are not due to come into force until uh 2031, actually. Yeah, that's ages away in the development that happens in that year to year. Yeah. Um, yeah, don't know. But uh all changes create different results. Yes. And that's what Formula One is after. That's right. Indeed. Well, look, can I do a hit in the crack? We didn't do one last week. You can you can hit your crack. Search for and hit strategically any crack you like, John Briggs. Well, what have you got for us? What have you got for us, my good man? Uh a pass hitting the crack. April 30th, 1993. Monica Sellis. I was 20. Oh, hang on. Where are we going with this? Wellon. A deranged fan in the middle of one of the gone there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay. Ran onto the courts and put a knife in between her shoulder blades. Yes. Steffi Graf? He was he was a Steffi Graff. Is that right? Because she was playing her, and yeah. Well, I don't know. She wasn't playing her in that in that match. Oh. But what actually happened was that uh Celis had become number one in the world. That's right. And knocking Graf off the pedestal. Steffi off her pedestal. Yes. Yes. This deranged obsessive nutcase called Gunter Play. Well, tennis will do that to you as a fan. It actually does on a few of them, you know. Not maybe not to this extent. But yeah, there are a few. You don't think this is something that's happened on a regular place? Oh, thank God it hasn't. But the mirac the main miracle of all yes, yeah, a bloody knife in the back in the middle of the match. Um, anyway, the miracle is that two years later, she made a comeback, Monica made a comeback and won the Australian Open, which was quite solid, isn't it? Imagine the mental uh you've got a current is in the crack, rather more amusing. Well, we glossed over that. In a well, we're trying to get it in the time frame here. So in a football match in Spain last week, I actually put this up on our page already. Uh a Spanish team decided that it would be funny to throw 70,000 rolls of toilet paper. Yes. Now, of course, this is more in line with hitting the crack. Yes, very much so onto the pitch. Uh delaying the match. And they delayed the match. Yeah. Well, that's just shitty house. Well, obviously they thought the match was gonna be shit. So, I mean, what on what the heck were they thinking? Either they got they they got the toilet rolls handed out for some promotion. Maybe, or how do they orchestrate that as a group? God knows. Because that is absolute brilliance if they did it themselves. Exactly. That is a gold medal effort. It is, it is, it's top glass. 70 70, not 17, 70,000 rolls of toilet paper. I'm gonna announce this and age of COVID where everybody was. Oh no, that's a different world. That was a few years ago. I see where you're going with that. I'm I'm gonna announce for all of our listeners a brand new to be launched in June segment for sports beers. What is it? The gold medal for shithousery. So I've thought of it right now. It's just those little, little things that people, players, or fans do. Yeah, you know, a bit like spying. Yeah, well, that's part of shithousery. Yes. Yes, there's an endless list of these in sport. Bouncing off the helmet, Martin, scandal and gossip in the uh playoffs to see who decides to go up to the premiership. Yes. In the English uh football league. Oh, that'll be West Ham next year. Well, maybe, maybe not, but Southampton versus Middlesbrough. Yes. A Southampton staff member was caught filming a Middlesbrough training station from behind a tree. I mean, this is like pure shithousery. Pure Shithousery. Absolutely, that is pure. I mean, really, what and this might mean. I mean, I've got a bit of a soft spot for Southampton because I used to live there. Thank you. I used to actually live like two streets away from what was the Dell in those days. The Dell was there going, Cheers, cheers to shithhousery. Frothy. Don't call me that. And uh yeah, we they it was pretty scary on match day. All the houses locally used to board up the windows and things. Oh, yes, I've seen this. Yes. Oh mate, I used you to hear the noise. It's absolutely outrageous. Anyway, so that's besides the point. But yeah, um, Middlesbrough are calling for Southampton to be expelled from the playoffs, which is interesting. Well, there's gonna be a uh judiciary, a private one, into this. Yeah, there needs to be. Yeah. Yeah, because you can't go sneaking behind trees. No. Well, was he on a grassy knoll? Probably. With his scope. Yeah. I think so. I'm not sure. So that's it. Mind you, yeah. Mind you, what do they get as a payment if they if they uh go from first division to Premier League? Oh what's the pay? It's how many millions of pounds? Massive, massive, massive. Yeah, there's a lot riding on that. I know. So But really stupid. I mean, behind a tree with a video camera. I mean, why wouldn't you just use a drone? Well, exactly. You know what with 2026? I know. Who was it? Southampton. Southampton, bloody hell. They've been nothing since Matt. Yeah. Once Matt Letizier retired, yeah, Southampton has been a zero. Martin, second bouncing off the helmet. Scandal. What do you know about Luke Sayers? Chad Sayers' younger brother. There was something about some naughty pick. Rhymes with pick. A nose pick? Nah. That he sent. Oh, hang on. It was a bit like uh hang on now Tinny. A bit like Tim Payne. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Luke Sayers, would he have been would he have been a president? Don't know. But I heard that there's another Australian knight sending pictures of his old fella. Okay. I I just before I go any further. Yeah. And you you take on what you're going. I just want to clarify a detail for that. Okay. Luke Sayers. Fair enough. Just because I don't want to say the wrong thing here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'll just carry on with record breakers and records that will never be broken in the National Hockey League. Hang on one second. No, no, you go. Wayne Gretzky. Uh yeah, the Great Wayne. Indeed, the Great Wayne. I believe that's what he was known as. His record will probably never ever be broken. In fact, he has a few, but it's in NHL, uh, they call it points as well, because they get other points for assists. And he has a record of 2,857 points. Um that that seems a lot of points. Yeah, no one's got anywhere near it. Do we know what what what is the second? Like what's the gap between him and the and the standard? Oh look, it's nowhere near. It's absolutely nowhere near. I don't know exactly what it is. But also 50 goals in 39 games, the fastest to achieve this. Uh 92 goals in a season, which is unheard of precedent, yes. In 1981, scored at least one point in 59 consecutive games, and there is two 26 games. 26 games. So it's half. Right. So sorry, 26 points. So, yeah, it's half the amount. So he's like huge, 50% better than anybody else. Yeah. So that's incredible. Yeah, and no one's no one's dropping him off. No, no, no, no. So he is he is the the Bradman of the NHL deal. Do you have something for me about NHL? Uh not right now, because you've got Luke Sayers. Yeah, I've got Luke Sayers. So I just wanted to confirm. Yes. Yes. Luke Sayers potentially took a couple of photos that he shouldn't have and shared them with a couple of women that he shouldn't have. Oh no. Now, what is what is significant about this is because he did it as the president of the Carlton Football Club. I thought so. I thought, well, I thought before I said it, I wanted to be a hundred percent sure he's the same guy because it's not my sport, master. No one wants to use it. And then and then stood down. Oh as opposed to standing up, of course. Indeed. Um because we all know, yes, we we all know that when you are the president of a football club, yes, sending dick pics don't work. No, it's not something you should be doing. And I think he tried to claim it was an accident. How can it be an accident? I don't now the question would be How old is he? Old enough to know better. Yeah, he's well in his 50s. So I think the question is was it an accident that he took the photo or an accident that he sent the photo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. So, but I do want to touch on Carlton Football Club. They won the other day. They did, but more importantly than that, Mr. Michael Voss has tendered his resignation as coach. Yeah. And then the bloody team goes out and wins four days later. He must have been sitting at home going, you bastards, you couldn't do that for me. There's no different players. Josh Frazier, as assistant coach, who stood in, I think I found my rant. He didn't. His rant in his pants. He didn't make any major changes. Maybe one or two players, nothing special, playing the Bulldogs, a team five times better than Carlton. Yeah. And Michael Voss had to sit there and watch them win and say to himself, you bastards. I know. And what but I must say, I don't know Sayer, like him, like Mr. Sayer, Luke here, they were all standing up and were counted. Absolutely. And I believe they stood up to be counted. And I believe Michael Voss felt forced to fall on his own sword. Well, he did. He absolutely. On one hand, silly fool, Luke. Yeah. On the other hand, respectful effort, Michael Voss, because you weren't primarily to blame for the mess. And on a third hand, screw you, Carlton, for leaving Michael Voss to have to resign and then you choose to go out and play properly and you bastards. I know. So there we go. You know, so we've had this week's clickerus, which was the Southampton um espionage gate about spying. Um the next bit, which I've got here somewhere. Yes. Oh, fun fact. No, no, no. Do you have a fun fact? I do have a fun fact, actually. Is it fun enough to use? Well, isn't that fun? But it's a fun fact. Is it just a little bit fun? It's like a like a short Mars bar. It's a fun-sized Mars bar, but it's not as good as the whole thing. That's what Marianne Faithful said anyway when she was with the Rolling Stones. So that's another story. It doesn't sound like that's a sports biz story. It could be. Anyway, the longest match in test match history. Oh. Took place in Durban. Oh, I remember going to this. There you go. Did you go? It was in 1939, so I don't think so. Oh, I must be thinking of a different game. Lasted for 12 days. And ended in a draw. That's not a surprise. So it was England v South Africa. Were these in the days where you just kept playing? Yeah. So how did it end in a draw? This is the funny bit. This is the fun bit. Oh. So it was known as the timeless test. Okay. England were chasing 696. Yes. They reached 654 for five when it was called off. The reason why. The reason why it was called off is because England had to catch the boat back.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_00It's brilliant, isn't it? They had to catch the boat back because, you know, there wasn't another boat available. Judging by the year, maybe they had to coach the cat catch the boat bet because, you know, someone walked into Poland. Maybe. Could have been. Could have been. That's right. Yeah. Boys, you better get home. We only needed 42 to win with five wickets in hand. Oh. But yeah, we had to keep the boat absolutely rooted. What's going on? So, but anyway, that was all changed. In 1948, test matches were then cut to five days. So all these people that say how can you play a sport for five days? Five days was actually the reduction of test cricket, which used to just be play forever. Correct? Yeah, okay. I know. I think five days was a big improvement. Absolutely. I do too. So there you go. Martin, NHL, what have you got? NHL. Right. So we're into the first round of finals for the NHL. Yeah. Um, anybody that loves their ice hockey, which John is not you or me. Correct. We are like it. We are not huge ice hockey aficionados. We will research more into this now that they're into their second round. I'm not sure. Yeah. Is it a case of you go to watch a fight and occasionally a game breaks out? Is that still what happens with um at the highest, highest level? Yes. Right. Pretty much. Because that used to be the desperate. Yeah. And although I do notice in their fights there's a lot of padded gloves and they flip them off and then they punch people in the back of the head. Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't really work. It's not really a fight. Is that like AFL when they push each other on the chest a little bit? Oh yeah. Well, it's a little bit better than that. If you enjoy that part of sport, it's a little bit more intense than that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't fully understand the push-shuff inaggression. Yeah, I know. No, it's like when soccer players do it. Oh, yeah. And you just and you just look at them and think to yourself, What are you doing? If you want to fight, do it as a sport. Yes. But you don't, because you can't. Uh-huh. So don't do it. Exactly. But anyway. So we're looking at the Eastern and Western conferences. Let's just go through the top couple of teams. Yep. Uh, Eastern Conference, we've got the Buffalo Sabres who finished first.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00And we've got the Tampa Bay Lightning second. Okay. And they were uh uh level on wins, so they are uh the standout performers in the Metropolitan Division. You've got the Carolina Hurricanes. Didn't know Carolina even had a team. There you go. And the Pittsburgh Penguins, which we all know. Yeah, right. We all know them. Uh again, standout performers, but Hurricanes from uh Carolina performed better than the two uh the Lightning and the Sabres in the Atlantic division, and the Penguins were way behind as a uh third-ranked team. So uh definitely three. Uh in the Eastern Conference, three top teams. Why do they call it a conference if you know I'm not putting you on the spot, but yeah, but why do they call it a conference? Any idea? Because they do the same with the basketball as well, don't they? Yes. Um is it something we need to do? I've got a feeling it's something the Americans just do. Okay. There's also this bit like them having the world the the World Series in baseball. Yeah. Yeah. Um the world. And they're the only country that plays in it. Yeah. But if you go back far enough, it's because the newspaper, which was called the World Series, was the principal sponsor and they demanded naming rights. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only reason why it's there. Yes. And so it's got nothing to do with the world whatsoever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh okay, Western Conference, the Avalanche, Finnish top of the Central Division, Colorado Avalanche, that's actually a pretty good name. Yeah. And a really boring name, Dallas Stars. Yeah, just a touch. Yeah, a bit of a dud dud name. Lack of imagination in that one. Yep. But the uh, and then by far the weakest division is the Pacific Division. Uh, just based on win loss. By far the weakest. We're talking 10 wins less than the other guys. The uh Vegas Golden Knights topped that division.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then who rolled in second? The Oilers. Oiler? Edmonton. Oh. So Canadian, right? There's a couple of Canadian teams, the Blue Jays and the Oilers. So uh so there they're your top four. So we're into round one. Next time we talk, we will give some results of who's made it through. Right. Uh, and then I just want to touch quickly NBA.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yes, of course.
SPEAKER_00So NBA's still flying. Yeah. Uh what have we got here? Let's go. Oklahoma Thunder, defending champions. Yeah. Uh Whitewash swept Phoenix Suns round one, 4-0. Yeah, wow. Round two took on the Generation James. Yeah. LeBron and the Atley Sun named Bronny. Yes. Hello. Imaginative. And the Thunder swept them as well for Zip. Made absolute mincemeat of them. So the Lakers are gone, right? Lakers are gone. And look. So now we're into the semifinals because. Sorry, can I just quickly ask? Yes. Was the Lakers um what's the word? Exposure due to the fact that it was LeBron and his son. Um did they really have a chance again anywhere? Because you can't rely on players. Well, they've got um uh Jock Um Jokic. Okay. Exceptional player players. I know Jokic earlier today, and but a Kira fixed that exceptional player. Uh their biggest problem is everything goes through LeBron and He's just more about falling and yelling and screaming and complaining than playing now. Okay. Um, very soft on defense, doesn't cover the court like he used to. And he is forced to think he's just cashing in. Yeah, yeah. That's all it is. Fair enough, too. So they've made it through to the conference finals in week three. So against the San Antonio Spurs, who beat the Trailblazers and then beat the Timberwolves. They've got half a chance, haven't they? Yeah, Spurs are good. Yep. So Thunder versus Spurs. Uh on the opposite side, the Eastern Conference, we got the Knicks who have already made it through. Yeah. So New York hung on to beat the Hawks 4-2. Yeah. Then played the Philadelphia 76ers and spanked them 4-zip. Uh-huh. So swept them and they're into the uh conference finals. Yeah. We don't know who yet. So uh uh who have we got there? Detroit Pistons and the Cavaliers, Cleveland Cavaliers are tied three-all.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00So they're about to roll into one more game and then hit up that conference final to see who plays in the final. Holy crap, NBA, just about done. There we go. Jartin, do you have a rant in your pant today? Oh, look. I've had a couple already. Um NRL. Magic roundabout. Oh, yeah, the magic roundabouts. Magic roundabouts. Times of an Zebody. I don't even know that. Right, okay, it doesn't matter. Um, play all games in Brisbane. Now. Do we know why? Because it's magical. Why is it magical? Oh no bloody idea. Because the powers to be um Peter Vallandis, let's say, the guru himself, and I'm pretty sure it's it's pre-Peter Villandi's. Okay. But I'm not too concerned about details right now. So I'm gonna blame Peter Vallandis for an uninspiring magical round. Okay. Nothing good about this whatsoever. Right. So uh all games played at Suncorp. Yeah. There was no sun this weekend whatsoever. So it was raincore. The ground is sodden. Yeah. The ground is busted. Yeah. The ground is churned up. And they're still playing on it right now. They all every match is also. Every game played on the same weekend in the same ground. Same ground is really silly because the the last team or the teams matches at the towards the end of this round will play on a worse pitch. Yes. That's just that doesn't make any sense. Yes, I agree. Now, when the AFL do it, which let's face it, that whatever that round is in the AFL, gather round. Yes. Now that goes to Adelaide, but it's played across three to four different grounds. Okay, that's different then. That's different. However, it is a bit of a copying thing, to be fair. Yeah. It's a dud anyway. But that this is, I don't know, this is next level. And in weather like we've had up here in Queensland, where it's bloody well poured with rain every day since Anzac Day, um, ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh it's just as well that the last game is Penrith sitting top versus my boys, St. George, sitting bottom. Well. So the question is have St. George managed to do something incredible in this. Oh no, they haven't. What's the score? Uh it's not too bad. It's 12-0. I was gonna say it would be but it's only half time. Yeah, it would be closer because obviously the backs aren't allowed to run in the heavy, well, they're not allowed to, they're allowed to run on. Exactly. So it becomes a forward orientated game. Yep. Yeah, so no, bad luck, St. George. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you're gonna get over the line there, boys. Yes, yeah, not a pretty win. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And that's what happens in rugby when it's yes, the weather's rubbish like that. So now, uh, if I can just touch also, uh World of My Love. A world of world of my love. Yes. Diamond League. Oh, okay. Now we're going we're going long tonight, so I am not going to go through this, but we will next podcast. Brilliant. Because we'll have two under our belt by then. So the Diamond League is the European fortnightly athletics competition that goes through all of their summer. Yeah. So uh we'll touch on it next week with the current results. Yep. Uh, but it's a one-day competition each time, so it's not every single event. Um track and field. Track and field. So essentially, Diamond League is an expensive recess. Okay. So it's a bit like going in primary school. Yeah. You run out at recess and everybody's jumping, throwing, and running. Yes. Yeah. That's Diamond League in a nutshell right there. Well, sounds good. Now, okay, they're pretty good at what they do, but essentially it's a primary school recess break. But we'll talk more about recess next week. All right. Now, Martin, do you have a wacky sport before we just quickly we've touched on soccer. Uh-huh. It wasn't wacky sport in itself, let's face it. I think it is at times. Yes. It's a it's a silly sport.
SPEAKER_01Especially when West Hammer about it. Especially when you're caught.
SPEAKER_00No, we'll be right. We'll get over it. And thank you very much, Leeds, for being unable to beat the sperms. How look, while all is okay. We've given you half a chance there, by the way. We've given we've given swamp soccer a bit of a bull on a previous episode. Yeah. So what do we know about cycle ball? What? Cycle ball, John. Okay. It is soccer. Yeah. Played on bicycles. Okay. I'm sure we did something similar when I was about five. So this is going to be some interesting videos to be posted. Uh-huh. But this sport, wait for this. Can you guess when this might have been introduced to the world? Uh-huh. 1883. Wow. Yes, by an American artistic cyclist, Nicholas Edward Kaufman. Kaufman, of course. Kaufman, yes. The household name in soccer. Absolutely. Historical name in soccer. Yeah. It's also known as Rad Ball.
SPEAKER_01Rad. Wow.
SPEAKER_00Almost like Bazball. Yeah, come on. But not quite. Yeah, a German term. So the match was first played on the September 14th in 1883. Yeah. Just a bunch of guys riding bikes and trying to hit the ball with the front tire of the bike. Okay. And that is essentially it. So otherwise, it's just a small, it's on the wooden floors like a basketball course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. And you just got a couple of blokes education. You'd do it very slowly. You'd have to be because to control the ball, you'd have to be game. Yes, the first world championships were held in 1929. And then the sport spread to Germany, and Germany took it on like you wouldn't believe. Then Austria, Switzerland, Czech Republic. Wow. Oh my god, it's gone everywhere. How would you? It'd be interesting to see what the rules are a little bit more in detail for next time, maybe, but wow, cycle ball. It uh it has made the Asian Indoor Games Championships in 2005 and 2007. Right. It um hasn't gone much outside of that. Yeah. At that bigger level, other than club and maybe a little bit of national stuff where you are. So cycle ball, girls and boys. Well, look, I'll post some videos. Please do. And have a bit of a laugh. And that's what we're here for. We're here to entertain you. We have a fun laugh. I will finish with tennis. Um, Yannick Sinner has just broken a world record, actually. Uh, nothing to do with the amount of um drugs he's taken or anything like that. Wow. I was wondering if you were going to roll through that. Sinner, sinner, sinner. But he's beaten Novak's record with his 33rd straight victory, and he beat uh Daniel Medvedev in the final of the Italian Open when he won it two sets to one. Uh also Coco Goff lost in her final in the Italian uh open to Svit Lova. But that leads into the French very nicely indeed. Are they all playing at Roland Garros or are they gonna strike? Well, that's another subject, isn't it? That's another subject for next time, maybe. Greedy. Really? They earn millions and they want more? I don't know. They've dropped the percentage. The revenue's gone up, and they've dropped the percentage of revenue for the players for the players to take prize money from when their revenue has gone up. Hey, look, you might have a live tennis thing happening. Because without look, be what's what's the name? The world number one female tennis player, Sabalenka. She wouldn't be shooting her mouth off unless there's something perhaps going on in the background. I wonder. Don't know. No idea. Just thought of it there. You've heard it first. Yeah. On sports indeed. We're breaking the big news. Live tennis. Look, it's a big possibility. It's a thing. And we know this because John has announced it. Absolutely. Anyway, that is all we have for now. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Unless Martin's got anything else to say. No, mate. I am I am done. Okay. Well, remember to have a gander at the socials and all the rest of it. See the videos. And listen to the um Micah Rivetti boxing uh interview. But it is now good night from me. And it's now good night from him. Good night.