40: Unwritten

In this episode of Pouring and Parenting, hosts Inish and Sil help listeners reset for the final stretch of the year without guilt or overwhelm. They focus on how to revisit goals, simplify priorities, and get ahead of the holiday season by communicating clearly with your partner.

We discuss why August feels like a second New Year for parents, how to shift from goal guilt to an edit, don’t abandon mindset, and why trying to sprint through quarter four usually creates more stress than progress.

If you’ve been feeling behind, overwhelmed, or stuck in “hustle” mode, this episode is your reminder that you don’t need to sprint to the finish line. Reset, refocus, and make space for what truly matters—the rest is still unwritten.

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This episode may include references to alcohol. As always, we encourage responsible sipping- water, mocktails, and coffee count too.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:03

Grab your glass and pull up a chair. It's time for your favorite girls' night in. Welcome to Pouring and Parenting, where your besties, Sil and Einish. We're here to laugh through the chaos. Hello, Pourers. Let's start the show. Hey, welcome back to another episode of Pouring and Parenting. It's your girl Einish. And Sil. And today we have another informative episode for you all today. So sit tight and take this journey with us. But before we get started, Sill, how are you doing today? Doing good. You know what? It's been so busy, and I feel like we've barely even spoken this past week. It's just because there's so much shit going on from soccer to work to like all this random stuff. Like I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't know. Yeah. But I mean it's good stuff for the most part. So yeah, what about you? As frequent as we usually do. And I miss our conversations. I miss our early morning chats. And blame Benny. I blame Benny. We need to we need to just try to figure out a time slot that we can now insert in with this new adjustment that's happening on your side. Because I blame you. And Benny. I know. Well, so for those who don't know, Benny now goes to my school. So we are in the car in the morning together. And that was typically when Anisha and I would catch up on life in like those 25 minutes of my ride to work. But now Benny's there and it's a little difficult because he knows what he's hearing and it's just not the same. So yeah, that's where we're at. Yeah. So yeah, the ride there and bad sometimes, too. So we have to find another time slot that can work for us. So you all clicked on today's episode, which is titled Unwritten. And at this point, we're roughly at about 120 days left in 2026. Let that sink in. That's that's a little crazy. It's almost Christmas time. Lord, it's almost Christmas. Uh Mariah Carey's getting thawed out as we speak. Oh yeah. And so we're gonna be walking you all through reset. We're gonna try to help you all reset if you've created vision boards. We talked about vision boards at the top of this year. And helping you all, if you haven't even looked at your vision board, that's okay. We're here to help you reset and just overcoming any guilt that you may be feeling and just evaluating all of that. Okay. So hang tight with us. Still, of course, before we jump into our hot topics, what did you pour today? Today I poured, oh, it's actually so good. I didn't even dig it's good. It's a white cranberry and strawberry juice with absolute lemon vodka. So it's like a strawberry lemonade with white red cranberry. I don't know, but it's really good. Like I tasted and I was like, whoa, my taste buds exploded with happiness. Party in your mouth. It's so good. All right, what about you? Ladies, hold on to your wigs, hold on to your butts. I poured, I poured a little something, something. A sunset spiced rum sour. One of our midweek poures I recreated. And yeah, just that. It's it's spiced rum. It has pineapple. I think I'm lying. It has lemon juice, apple juice, and grenadine in it. So it's good. All right. So cheers. Um cheers. Stink. Oh, the same color. They're the same color. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Yes. So no wine. No wine for me. Mine's pretty good too. So go back. If you don't follow us, every Wednesday we post a midweek pour and we just create recipes with alcohol that are in our kitchen cabinets and make it work. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. As I briefly stated, we're gonna be talking about the quarter that we're in, which is quarter for we're not sure how you look at the years, but we've been talking about all the quarters throughout our episodes, and this is it. This is the last leg of the race. This is the last quarter for the year, and we don't want you all to be stressed. Maybe you haven't even thought about your vision board, but we are here to remind you to stress you out. That's not our goal. But if you if you haven't thought about your vision board or you've been meaning to look at it, or or or or right, I can keep going on and on about that. We are here to help you reset and eliminate things that you might not have a touch based on. The second half of the episode, we're gonna help you just give you some advice and some guidance to navigate the upcoming holiday seasons, making sure you're communicating our favorite word with your partner. So, of course, we're gonna jump into some hot topics. Still, are you ready? I'm ready. I think yes, I'm ready. Okay, okay. So the first hot topic that we will be discussing is the August reset. We're in August. Let's talk about it. 92% of new year's resolutions are abandoned long before quarter four. I'm pretty sure Still and I mentioned this back in January. Yeah. But I digress. August is also the second new year for parents as school routines kick back in. Let that sink in. Makes sense. So right? We're talking about overcoming made-year goal guilt with an edit, don't abandon mindset. So I felt like that was a lot of word vomit that came out of my mouth, but did it make sense? And how do you feel about that? It it does make sense. And I especially for those of you who have children or s who are school age, and you know it's that time of year is a new grade. Okay, maybe you didn't have the best school year the the previous year. Okay, this is your year to do better. That means I need to do better, and we're all gonna do better together. So I I can see why that would be a reset for new routines when school kicks back in. Also, for me, August is my birthday month. Hello. And I think that even just saying that out loud, when someone turns another year older, they might also want to be like, okay, now in this new year of my life, I want to do things differently. Maybe you know, you reflect on what you've been doing with your life, especially if you're hitting one of those milestone years, you might be ready to be like, okay, I gotta start fixing this now because this was cute in my 20s, not so cute in my 30s. So for me, it's definitely like the second new year because it's my birthday month. Yes, yes, it is indeed your birthday month. So and I are very close in birthdays. Summer babies. We're both summer babies. But the second new year, your kids, and jumping into the kid aspect of it, your kids essentially graduated grade school, high school, even college, early in the in the year, and then jumping into this fall season. It's the it's the new year. It's their it's their brand new year. The kids are looking for brand new clothes, they need backpacks, they need all of the things. So you're starting over. And a lot of people look at the new year as starting over. You're starting from the beginning. We're starting from the ground up. You have a clean slate. Your children are going into a new year with a clean slate, whether it's a new school, a fresh start. And that's a lot of pressure on top of the fact that you may have guilt about the resolutions that you made in the beginning of the year, but you can't focus on them now because you have to focus on your kids and all of that stuff. And it's okay. It's okay if you made that vision board and you're looking at the vision board or you made a mental note, you made a list, however you approached it, and you didn't touch base on everything. It's okay. The topic says edit, don't abandon, don't knock it. If if it's something that you still want to do, but you haven't done it yet, it's okay. Just make some edits, they're your goals. And so having that mindset can hopefully take some of the stress or pressure that you may be feeling to move forward and in that edit, don't abandon mindset. So, you know what, it to me that really does make a lot of sense. It's it's a fresh start, and especially if we could just take note from our kids when they go back to school for that new year. Usually they're excited for that fresh start, new teacher, new friends, new grades, possibly new school. And they could go back and be whatever version of themselves they want to be, hopefully a better version than they were last year. Like, oh, this year I'm gonna maybe put myself out there socially, or I'm gonna try out for a team, or I'm gonna do this. We should take notes from our kids. They are ready to take on new challenges, new tasks. We should do the same. And it shouldn't really matter when it is, but typically most people will do it at the beginning of something new. Yes. Well, let's move on to the second hot topic or just a moment of conversation. Let's talk about a quiet reset versus the quarter for hustle. Social media pushes quarter four sprint energy, but back to school fatigue is is pretty real. So choosing a quiet reset and focusing on subtracting unnecessary obligations rather than piling on new pressures before November. Social media is pushing. There are they are grinding. Social media influencers are applying a lot of pressure. And us as the consumers are seeing that and we're wondering, are we left behind? What are we doing wrong? As opposed to focusing on more of a quiet reset. You don't need to keep up with the Joneses, you don't need to keep up with the Kardashians or whoever you're following. Focus on quiet energy. You don't need to hyper focus on, I gotta end this year really strong. Focus on subtracting that unnecessary obligation. Looking at your list and seeing things that maybe you over, not even overreach. You just didn't get a chance to get to it. And other things that maybe you're closer to, and focus on that. So all right, so I agree. I mean, I know it's we're getting close to the end of this, the not the school year, just started. We're getting close to the end of the year, and it's a lot of okay, I need to hurry up and get these resolutions done. Or I need, you know, just trying to sprint to the finish line, getting all these things done. But it doesn't need to be like that. And typically, if you're gonna sprint to something or you're gonna try to hurry up and get your goals done, it's probably not gonna be the way you envisioned it in the first place. So take a step back, do that quiet reset. Focus on taking away things that you really don't need and focus on those things that you really do need. If you look back at your vision board or look back at the goals that you were gonna make and be like, you know what, maybe this goal really doesn't fit my life. Switch it up. Or you know what, this goal maybe it's more of a priority than this one. Let me focus on this one. You're better off getting one real goal done than having a bunch of unfinished goals. Then you got nothing done. Right. Absolutely. And we're gonna touch base on that and the actual meat of the show. So the those were our hot topics, or I feel a lot of people are feeling pressure. Social media is just getting more and more powerful. And in quarter four, you are feeling that you're getting left behind, and your peers or the people that you follow are surpassing you. That can be very stressful, upsetting, frustrating. And today's episode is just to tell you that it's okay, you don't have to keep up with them, slow down, reset, and refocus. The the rest is still unwritten. Hello, unwritten. Hello, title. So let's let's jump into the meat of today's episode and let's talk about the personal refocus. There are two steps that we're going to discuss. Hopefully, it's cut and dry for you all. If you feel like you need a little bit more, do some digging. We're gonna just tap into a couple of steps that you can start right now. Start tomorrow, probably right now, if you can. So let's talk about the first stuff. Let's take a look at the vision boards. If you seriously made a vision board, if not, if again, if you wrote it down a mental note, you were jotting down stuff throughout the first few months of the year, whatever that looks like to you. We have an episode discussing vision boards. If you do not know what a vision board is, go back and listen to an episode or all, whichever route you choose. Pretty much we're saying to physically go back at January's goals and start stripping away what no longer fits in your life, guilt free. We're talking about normalizing life shifts, letting go of goals that felt right eight months ago, but don't match your current capacity. That is big. A lot of people see all of that and or and I say all of that, they see all of their goals and they're feeling overwhelmed, but they feel the need to do everything. If you made a vision bull vision bowl, if you made a vision goal, if you made a vision board, if you made a vision board, again, or whatever you did, and you're looking at this laundry list of things and you're like, crap, I haven't done whatever the case is. It's okay. Normalize that life happens and you're not gonna touch base on everything, and that's legitimately okay. So, what's your take on that? So it's kind of like what I just said a little while ago. When you look at your vision board, you'd look back and see like, you know what, this really doesn't fit my life. This what this goal that I thought I wanted really is not a priority. I don't care about it that much. I don't want to pursue it and just let it go. It's fine. Maybe another year, another time, it might fit where you want it to, but sometimes it just doesn't. Life changes, things change. There's those shifts that happened. So it's okay. Look back at what really does matter. What are you passionate about? What is a priority to you? And just work on those or that one. Choose one at least. You will feel better at the end of the year knowing that you accomplished at least one thing instead of nothing on your board. Absolutely. Because and what Sil's pretty much saying is that just strip away what doesn't fit. If it doesn't fit, get it out of here. Put it to the side and move forward guilt-free. Don't feel guilty about chopping away at whatever your list was. You're not a failure. It's your list, it's your vision. Okay, so let's move into step two, the rule of one. Still mentioned it already. All right, so once again, instead of trying to fix 10 things in 120 days, pick one priority: either a personal habit, a household rhythm, a health goal for the rest of the year. So if you want to finish strong, instead of having a bunch of goals just left undone by the time December ends, and you're looking back like, crap, I really didn't accomplish anything. You're you're be like, I should have at least got one done. Get one thing done. Okay, you will feel so much better. It's one less thing that you bring into the following year. Yeah. And that's just it. And if you're wondering, well, what one thing do I pick? Everything is important to me. Is it though? Because we haven't touched base on everything. So right. Really hone in on whatever you like the first thing that comes to your mind, the first thing that your eyes were drawn to on that piece of paper or in your mental. Focus on one thing. Okay that makes you feel guilty, right? Looking at it like shoot. I mean, you it's it might be the thing that you want to do the least, but you will probably feel the most accomplished. Accomplished, thank you, once you get that done.

unknown 16:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

It's some some stuff sucks. It really does. But you'll feel so much better at getting it done. I mean, there are things that, and I feel we can all relate to this. For an example, I know I need to wash the dishes, for instance. But instead of washing the dishes, oh, let me rearrange my dresser drawer right now. Let me do all these little tidbit things just to avoid doing that one task. Just the one task and getting the dishes clean, I'm gonna feel, oh man, I'm so glad I wash the dishes. But you're doing everything and avoiding all of that because you know that that's the one thing that you need to do, but you don't like washing dishes. And the this the list of reasons why you don't want to do it goes on and on. And I'm pretty sure, just like what Sil said, it's probably the least enticing item on your list of whatever your resolutions were. That's the one you need to touch base on and focus on and put everything else to the side. You just you'll feel so much better. And just like the example you just gave, I cannot tell you how many times I've been in that situation. And then finally, when I put on my girl big girl panties and I just do what I gotta do, I'm just like, gosh, like, why didn't I do this sooner? Like, you just feel this weight lifted off your chest. You do not want to bring in this heavy stuff on your chest going into December or going into January. Get it off now, get it done now. You will be thinking yourself and maybe us in the end. All right. So moving forward, make sure that you are following us on all of our social media platforms Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Snapchat, and all that jazz. Email us. We are now going to jump into the mid-show game. Sing to me. So talk about it. Oh, this is how it works. I am asking Anish a question related to song lyrics, and the goal is for her to not only answer the question, but to sing it back to me. And then she will ask me a question, and we will exchange questions for about two rounds, and we'll see who gets the most answers correctly. All right, Anish, are you ready? Sure. All right, and Keisha's Kohl's Keisha's Kohl's. Is that what we're doing now? Woo! This vodka's getting into me. All right. And Keisha Kohl's falling out. Why is she so frustrated? Ankeisha's Kohl's. Ankeisha Kohl's. Falling out? The song is falling out. Baby. I've love with you. Don't know what to do. I don't know. How do we end up here this way? What the heck? How do you not know this song? I'm not either gonna waste your time or my time. I have no idea. I am dumbfounded. I'm pretty tired of the song, but the last time I heard it, like 15 years ago, maybe. This is okay. We clearly just have different playlists. Very okay, all right. So frustrated cause what we had was a happy home. Sometimes I feel like this looking through to you. I can appreciate all that I do. Woman empowerment. Empowerment. And I'm all about woman empowerment, so moving on. Adele. Adele said to wake her up when in her single He Won't Go. Can't do it home. That one? No. Yes. I wanna take a break. Shoot. Okay, hold on. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. No. Oh, it's a different talk. Shoot. I'm hearing her voice and remind me the question, Tori. Adele said to wake her up when in her single He Won't Go. See your wolves turn on teams. I feel like it's probably in the beginning, and I can't think of how the song starts. I start singing turning tables. I don't know why. My brain.

unknown 19:52

No.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

I came and then the other stupid song, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. That song is in my head. There's two hinties. I do go. You went so far back in time. It's just how that happened. So it's so hard to get to this answer when I have a stupid song. And then I can think of just dance on the Wii. I can't. I can't. Dancing to that song. So I I don't know. Like I just I know, I know, but the craziness that's happening in my brain right now is not letting Adele's angelic voice you are there. And that's what's tingling my spirit. You're gonna be so mad. You are there. Okay, okay, here we go. Wake me up. Wake me up when all is done. I won't rise until the presentals are won't go. I could not think of how the beginning started. Like it just wasn't, it was just too much nonsense in my brain. Yeah, so the answer Adele said to wake her up when all is done. Okay. Alright. So Drew Hill and how deep is your love? What does he like to be called? So he's he asks a question. Do you know that what? Do you know that what? Wait, what's the question? Don't confuse me. Okay, I know. It was weird the way I confused it. Okay. I feel like I'm just giving you too much. I might just need to change. Do you know that I like it when you call me what? You know when I you know I like it when you call me puppy. Is that how the answer? I feel like you're saying it really proper and that's really saying, you know that I like it when you call me. We gotta go back and listen because I feel like you throw me up. Why is he so obsessed with Spanish? He's obsessed. So, yes, you got it, but you were being Really weird about it. That's how he says it. Do you know that the when you call me papi? Okay. Maybe you got it right, but you were just throwing me the hell off. I don't know what's happening. That's what he's saying. But you know what he's saying. You I didn't know what you were saying. I had to sing it back to you as if I were Cisco. Locked up. Okay. Okay. Last question for our sing to me challenge falls upon you. So let's go. Okay. I'm locked in. Nibia can't stand no what trying to take her man and don't mess with my man. Fuck. I can't stand. Here's my uncle. I don't know what she says. You're there. I know, but what's that word? What do I say? That's the question. What do you say? That's the answer. I actually want that answer. Please tell me what you say right there. I don't even you can win this round. I wouldn't love the dinner. What'd you say? No bitches trying to take. What do I say? Is that what you say? I mean that's clear. That'll sound right. Yeah, it does sound right. No, but it's not the answer. No, wait, I can't take no. Oh my god, I'm gonna go with bitches. That sounds right to me. I don't know what's what they wanted to say. That is not what theezy's the st that's not what the studio approved. They had to make it radio approved, I'm sure. Is it the unedited version? I don't think that's the unedited version. Who knows? I don't even know. I've never heard the unedited version. You don't know. Well, I don't know if there is an unedited version. I've never heard it because my parents were stripped with edits. Making sure, you know, parental advisory. They make sure that wasn't on it. Okay. All the clean versions. Yes, clean versions. Okay. Because he's mine. And I can't take no pigeons. Pigeons. What the fuck? Trying to take my baby. I never in my life said pigeons. Man, people are all about pigeons. Did you know that before you looked it up? I think so, yeah. I feel like it's pretty clear in her vocal dialect as she's singing away. So I thought I had a lettuce. And I feel a lot of the songs back then, these artists comparing their significant others to animals. Chicken Head, Three Six Mafia had a whole song called Chicken Head, and we have Nibia singing. But she wasn't referring to her significant other. Well, the the man. Or then she was or excuse me, the woman, right? So just people. They were all referring to people as birds of some type of bird. You a bird. So yeah. I think I knew that. Well, this was a tough, this was a tough go. Yeah. Go, go. That's there we go. This is gonna be in my head for a while now. I don't want it in my head. Get it out of my head. That was a tough round. Please message us. Are you playing along with us? We have so many questions. Do you know the lyrics? If you don't follow us, again, go on Instagram and Facebook specifically because we do post little highlights about our games that we play. And we may post them in our stories. So if you're not following with us, you're gonna miss the story and miss guessing and putting yourself out there. How many people thought pigeon? I'm just, you know, I may again if I remember, because oh, we have a lot going on. If I remember, this will be a question that I post on our on our main page to see. Because we get pigeon, because that's crazy. There are a lot of people, or a good amount of people that interact with us on our page, especially when we post our Sting to Me challenge. So let us move forward with the episode. This second half of the episode, we're gonna be talking about partner and household alignment as we step into the holiday seasons and just so many different facets of the year that's coming to an end and just different things. Again, still and I have discussed a lot of the stuff that we talked about, but like, how do you navigate it? How do you talk about it before you get there? Our discussions were you're already in the thick of it in the holiday season, and or you've been living in it and that's just what it is, hoping that your spouse has little to no family, and compared to a big family, there are just so many different outlets or just different angles that your your particular lifestyle can be in. Okay, so let's talk about the partner and household alignment. You want to talk about what's happening in these next few months and have a focal point. Sit down with your spouse before the football season. If your spouse, your partner, girlfriend is sit down before football season starts really, because there are a lot of women fans out there before the school calendars get really hectic and holiday demands completely take over quarter four. Because August is repping. School is back in session for a lot of people. If you're not back in, you you're you just started, whatever the case is, but it's gonna come fast. The the holidays are coming fast, Halloween's right around the corner, Christmas, we gotta go Christmas shopping, all that jazz. But let's focus. We're gonna talk about how to execute all of that. So, the first little bullet point we're gonna talk about is getting on the same page about scheduling boundaries, budgets, and social commitments for the next four months. You wanna make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. If you trade off holidays, we go to your mom's for Christmas, we go to my mom's for Thanksgiving. Make sure that is set in stone because mother-in-laws tend to forget every year. Are you sure you're not coming to my house this year? They gonna forget. Someone's gonna forget. Are you? Is that what you usually do? And then now everyone's confused. You and your spouse need to have a sit down and fully discuss about the commitments that are going to be happening the next four months. Schedule the boundaries. You have four parties to go to in one day. Who do you choose? Is it your sister? Is it your aunt? Is it who is it? Have that discussion. If you need to make a PowerPoint, maybe make a PowerPoint now so you can decipher what's gonna happen. Remember what happened last year? We're not doing that again this year. We went to four parties in one day last year, we're doing two this year. Set the boundaries, set the budget for the gifts. Who's all getting a Christmas gift this year? My cousin, my aunt, not your cousin and them. Who's in them? We're not doing that. Be very black and white about how the year is going to end and how it's going to look to alleviate any potential stress that may come forth and cause friction in your house. Okay. That's it. Okay. Okay. And it's not hectic. Okay. So I just think it's going to get hectic, and you're going to have to find the time with your person to have this discussion and still not forget about your your marriage, your your partnership. So if that means, all right, you know what? I'm going to get a babysitter, you and I are going to go to the bar and we're going to watch football, but we're also going to talk, you know, just to have that fun time together. Like I know I I love football season. I'm excited about football season. And it's usually a time that my husband and I will spend together. I mean, the kids will be running around the house, but him and I will sit on the couch and watch games, and we could do that almost all day for the most part. But you still got to get shit done. Okay. Have those conversations. Hey, well, I mean, this is what I do. I start my Christmas shopping in September. And I'll sit there on my phone and I most of it freaking shopping online. And we'll talk about it. Okay. Mainly me talking and him semi-listening with footballs on, but hey, I said it out loud and you didn't listen. That's your fault. Yes. You know, I get that done, getting the calendars done. Start scheduling pictures, whether you're taking fall pictures or holiday pictures, like all that stuff. You know, get them when you can. Okay. If they don't happen to hear you because they're into the game, that's on them. Okay. And is. And that's really good. You mentioned pictures. Schedule those appointments with the photographers. They're they're gonna start getting booked and busy. Get those holiday pictures. Yes. To to take pictures. Oh, and then what you said about the in-laws wanting you at their holiday party. So my mom, she already booked me to be at her house because she she actually didn't forget. She was like, okay, I'm having Thanksgiving at my house this year. Like, I remember you were with his family last year. Now you're gonna be with us this year. And I'm like, dang, okay. Like, I mean, it is what it is, right? But it it's happening. Things are get starting to get booked, and you know, we feel like we're so far away, but it's already August. We're at the end of it, it's about to be September. Yes. It's gonna it's gonna go fast, and it's an exciting time, it could be a stressful time, but get that communication out there, get started early with what you gotta do, finish the year strong, pick one thing that you want to really accomplish this year before the year ends. Stick to it. This is it, you don't have to sprint, but you do got to get it done. Well said, Sil. Next, we're gonna be discussing communicating what each partner needs to feel supported so neither person drowns in the invisible load. The holidays are coming. Sil just stated, which I'm sure a lot of all of us mamas are out there, we're scrolling on our phone, we're shopping on our phone, we're looking for deals, and our hubbies are watching sports. Football season is starting so conveniently during the holiday season. But I'm a football fan too. I don't mind sitting down watching a game myself. Communicate. And honestly, if there are any men listening, this is probably more geared towards you to make sure that your wife's not drowning. Women, direct your husband to this part of the episode, just communicate with your person. Let that person know, hey, I need some support. There's a lot going on. Help me figure out what the kids need. Help me, what does your mom need? I don't want to keep shopping for your mom. I don't want to keep shopping for your parents. I don't want to always shop for your siblings because I feel typically men are in my in where I come from. They're not thinking about all of that. And they let that burden fall on their spouses. Communicate that with them because, oh, why didn't you tell me is ultimately what's gonna happen. Because a lot of women, we shut down, we stay silent, we're slamming stuff in the kitchen, and we're stomping our feet, and oh, everything's fine with the attitude. Communicate. This year doesn't have to be like last year or the year before that. Take a new approach. That might sound crazy to you because oh, he should know me by now. We've been married 30 years, 20 years. Try some different girlfriend. Or if you tried it before, try it again. Men need a lot of beating across the head. You saw Wilma and Fred Flintstone, she was hitting them across the head with her rock pan and stuff. So giving each other grace, that was the word of the year last year, and just making sure that your partner understands that there's a lot of pressure that you're feeling. And if there's any way, give them something easy to do. Pick one gift for your mother and walk away. And hopefully he can do that one task. Or just try to get the support if you feel that you need the support so no one's drowning in that invisible load. And last but not least, make it an intentional conversation before the chaotic fall calendar forces it on you. So, like I said, maybe go out on a date and just know that the purpose of this day is one, to spend time together, but we got to communicate without the kids being here and interrupting us every five seconds. Let's figure out our life for the next few months or four months and make sure you communicate. If you need to take notes down, show it to him, like, all right, this is what you're agreeing to. Because I don't know about your man, but my man has been forgetting a lot of stuff lately. And it's like, I wish I had that replay button, like the commercials. I need that replay button in my house because sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, we just talked about this, or we talked about this last week. And it's like, oh, what? Like we gotta take a breath and come to an agreement, share the same calendar, share Google calendars, or just send a bunch of text messages here. This is what we're doing, it's right here for you. I said a couple episodes back, I have a calendar on our wall, and I write a lot of stuff down on there. So there's multiple ways to communicate and making sure that whatever is coming your way in the next last part of the year, that you are not left alone and that everyone knows exactly what's going down and there's no surprises. Absolutely. Communicate with your partner in their language, and I feel like we'll leave it at that. Oh, so after sex? After sex, leave a note on the pillow, leave a little money on the nightstand with a note. Communicate with them, just find a way. Listen, find a way to communicate with your partner and hey, talk to your cable company and see if you can write words during the game or something. I'm sure if you get a woman on the phone, she'll say less girl during halftime. And it'll be like, don't forget your you know, a put a picture of his mom pops up on the screen or something. Just have the discussion. But at the end of the day, don't stress over where the year went. You still have at least roughly 120 days, depending on when you're hearing this episode, to claim a win. Evaluate the vision board, pick your one thing, and get on the same page with your partner before the fall of madness hits. The rest is still unwritten. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Pouring Parenting. Where sip happens and we pour about it.