Do We Love That For You?
Our podcast is going to be explaining in “jersey words” the things we experience, products we use, people we encounter, and anything else we think of. Every episode will be different the only guarantee is that both Zia and Heather will be here.
Do We Love That For You?
Do We Love… All The Changes?
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We push back on “new year, new me” and share why health and timing—not dates—drive change. Between a Boston arena comedy night, a beekeeping plan, and a layered family story from a New Jersey dance studio, we keep it honest, warm, and a little chaotic in the best way.
• why we skip resolution pressure and let health set the pace
• how we keep long-distance friendship strong with reciprocity
• the dance studio roots behind “many moms” and found family
• a packed Matt Rife show, crowd anxiety, and a New York whoop
• beekeeping school plans, hive setup, and first-year patience
• winter coffee picks and which snowfall makes us tap out
• where we’d move south and why mountains still tempt
• listener “Do We Love” questions and how to send more
Anyone who's listening, jump on any of our socials and and throw up more questions. We love the do you loves and anything you want us to talk about
So episode six. Episode six. So the new change for this one. We're not doing the hope is anymore. We're doing Do We Love. Do we love? Yeah. So let's see. What is our title today?
Heather:Do we love all the changes? So far, I think we do. Yeah, I think we're doing pretty good. I think uh we are modifying as we go and um bringing you on our journey. And yeah, it's a learning pro it's a learning curve, a learning process. It is it is, and like we said, we just did this uh spur the moment or like we talked about it, and here we are.
Zia:I forgot to hit start on our timer. Well, that's okay. People love us, people love us. We are so yeah, so it's new year's, it's a new year. Yep, 2026. What about that happy new year? What about that cliche? Happy New Year. What about that cliche? New Year, do me. Oh god. Uh, you know, my son had brought that up to me one time. Uh and we were actually going to record, and he said, Mom, you hate that saying. He goes, You get so annoyed with that saying. And I go, I do. I, you know, I'm the same me, I think, since I was born. And I would like to say that I changed, but I don't feel like I have. And I mean, I don't know what changes I could make unless it was like dietary, but that usually comes from our doctors. So I don't really feel like that new new year, new me. I I can't get into that. How about you?
Heather:Um, no, not really. When I went through my weight loss process, the new me, the new year new me started when I dropped Eliza off at college and I saw those pictures. Yeah. Um, I'll tell that story. We'll we'll talk about my weight loss I don't know, run, I guess. I don't know. Um process process. Um, so that was in August when I started that. And then by the time I was able to get into the doctor, it was March. Um and then when I decided to stop working with you and and work on my own mental health for those issues, yeah, that was in August again. So I think maybe my new year, new me, is in August. Um, but no, I I feel like, like you said, it comes from our doctors when we make the changes, or it comes from something that happened that we're like, oh, this should change now, and then we work on changing it.
Zia:Um I don't necessarily feel like you have to break it on that January 1st. It's like that's like so much pressure on people.
Heather:Yeah, I'm looking for um, I want to start up yoga. I used to do yoga with Eliza on occasion, and um I like I like yoga, but I'm waiting for my, as you know, and again, we'll talk about our health issues in a future episode, but I'm waiting on a med change. So I can't start the yoga yet. So I'm hoping in the next month or so I can. So I'm gonna look like I'm doing the you know, January starting yoga thing, right? But it's not, it's because my meds are finally kicking in and I'm absolutely back to healthy. Yep. And that's the thing, it's always based on the doctor. Like, you know, our changes have always been based on are we healthy enough to do it? Did they give us permission to do it? Yep. Exactly.
Zia:Yep, yep. So I'm gonna say a new year new me thing is not an us thing. I I don't mind those people who do that. I I I enjoy hearing everybody make new year's resolutions and stuff, and I jokingly make them, I'm not gonna eat too many carbs this year. Yeah, as I was eating potato chips, you know, or drinking soda or something. But no, I think I think we're I think it's good for those who do it.
Heather:Yeah, and I feel like if you sometimes uh personally, if I did set myself up for something like that, then I feel like I went back a couple steps because I didn't do it, and I'm like, oh my god, see, now I didn't do it. And that's not good either.
Zia:Yeah, so you it's too competitive to me too.
Heather:Me too.
Zia:Yeah, I'm too competitive to set myself up. That's our signs. That's our signs.
Heather:We got a Capricorn and a Scorpio. Come on now.
Zia:Yeah, so all right. Well, yeah, people have asked how we on um on our Facebook, yeah. People have asked us how we're keeping in touch with each other being so far away.
Heather:Yeah, well, this is number one.
Zia:This is number one. We we um we talk at least, besides this conversation, yes, we have at least one other conversation, and I think we've had a running text conversation for about what five years, six years? Oh my god, yeah, where it just picks up from where we left off. Um, my other friends that I still have in New York, which don't be sad, I have other friends.
Heather:Oh my god, no, no. Wait, wait, I do too. I have them too. Oh my god, stop.
Zia:Um I typically when I know I'm coming out to New York, I'll typically put it out there um on my personality.
Heather:Wait, your other friends are in New York too? Oh my god, this is so disappointing.
Zia:Wait, wait, I still have some in Jersey too. Oh no, me too. You're screwed. You're so screwed. No. I'm so evil. No, um, but no, I really do. I'll I'll put a note out, you know, or I'll I'll reach out to a few of them and and let them know I'm coming out. Um my neighbor, our our our um middle school friend, I never let her know when I'm coming. I just show up and knock on our door and live.
Heather:You have those friends.
Zia:I do. Um, I'm coming out this weekend. Um I'll be out actually. We're planning on doing a live, well, not live, but an in-person recording next week. Recording. Um, yeah, because I'm gonna come out um this coming weekend. I'm going to New York and I'm gonna stay the weekend. Um Rich is gonna Rich and Angela are staying in New Hampshire, and then we're meeting in New York on Sunday to do our family Christmas. Yeah.
Heather:Um, yeah, so I I keep it as I this weekend you're coming out because there's something else happening.
Zia:So nothing else is happening. What are you talking about? Like my birthday present. I was gonna be older. I'm turning older. That's right. You're you're always gonna be almost a full year older than me. Yeah, yeah. Oh god, too funny. But otherwise, I I feel like I do well. I mean, I do have a belief that I won't reach out to you more than you reach out to me for my friend. Yeah, if if I reach out to you two or three times and you don't respond, I I kind of hold off. And and if it gets to be six, eight months, then I kind of drop you down on my priority list. It's for my own mental health.
Heather:Yeah, I feel like my list gets smaller and smaller per moment, not you really year. Um I think over years, what when you get older you know what's happening. And I always used to tell my kids, they used to say, Oh, how do I know if it's a true friend, or you know, or even dating, you know. And I would always say to them, the, you know, you won't think of them as they think of you the same amount that you think of them. And exactly your caring about each other is equal. That's how you know. It can't be more than one side. So I always have put that in their head, and it's true, you know, my circle is very small. I've learned over the years. I don't know if that's a Capricorn thing or not, but well, if it is, it's a Scorpio thing because my circle is very small. I mean, I could name on maybe two hands.
Zia:Yeah, my I agree. My my important immediate friend.
Heather:I agree.
Zia:And have a lot of acquaintances.
Heather:Yep. Oh yes, yep, lots of acquaintances, not good friends. Yep. Right. Yep. And it's funny because uh, you know, a lot of um the people in Jersey, um, it's family um that you know I'm close to, but most of my family, which actually will bring us into uh one of the questions we got is why does Zia keep saying mom, uh one mom, two mom, my other mom, my real mom. I know are they are they are they a LGBTQ world? I know, I know they are. I giggled at that question. That's funny.
Zia:It was a fair question.
Heather:Yeah, I mean, wow, that would have been that would have been like really modern times back then if that was true. Seriously, right? They would have been really on the times, but you remember that TV show?
Zia:What was it, my two dads or something like that?
Heather:My two dads, yeah. Yep. Yeah, that was pretty progressive.
Zia:We can yeah, we can watch that.
Heather:Yeah, yep. So we did get that question. Um we did, yeah. You want to go through that? You want to? Yeah, sure. Um, so my mom had a dance studio in Garwood, New Jersey. Um, pretty uh I'm gonna say infamous in Garwood, New Jersey. Yeah, they um pretty much she was a celebrity in Jersey um in her hometown. Um, and they used to entertain the troops uh at Fort Dix. Um, my dad played in a band. That was my real dad and my real mom. Um and uh yes, she had a I had a dad there. Um, but yeah, he um their studio uh I keep saying that because one of the students, uh, when my mom and dad eloped, um, my mom was pregnant with me, they eloped, and um one of the students there was very, very close to my mom. And that was my mom Karen. And she actually ended up being my godmother um at that point uh when I was born. And when I got older, um she was my adopted mom, in quotation marks. Um and her husband is my adopted dad. And he, you know, he wasn't really involved in the whole family, um, like she was. Uh like my grandmother and her mom were very close friends, uh, my Gigi and her. Um, and they used to call themselves the Dolly sisters. That's cool. Yeah, that's what they used to call themselves. But um they, yeah, they were like very close friends, you know. Uh her uh my mom Karen's uh dad was very close friends with my grandfather. So it was like very family involved that way. Um and then, you know, when she met my dad Len, then he got kind of pulled into that family circle. And you know, he did not have to uh put up and be that like godfather father figure, and he did, and he has been like the best father figure I can I could uh possibly have. Um you know I could call and be like, hey dad, my car, and what do you think? And you know, you know, I want that opinion from him, so it's very awesome. Yep, and uh just the girls at the studio, also a big family circle. I mean, they're they are my friends too, but um I going back to who you see in Jersey, I make a point in seeing certain ones when I go back to Jersey. But exactly my Jackie is my shadow, and she uh I used to watch her like a hawk when dancing because I wanted to make sure I was doing exactly the steps that Jackie did and how. Oh, I love that. I got that for you. Thank you. And I one time I was looking underneath the door of the studio because my mom would shut the doors and you can't see. So I was looking underneath this little space underneath the door, and I'm watching Jackie's feet, right? And my mom was like, she knew I was there. She swung the door open and she's like, What are you doing? And I'm like, I'm watching Jackie. And she's like, How do you know it's Jackie? And I was like, Jackie had silver tap shoes. She had him, she had silver tap shoes because of a dance she had to do. And uh, so she's like, How do you know it's Jackie? And I said, Because of the silver tap shoes. So she's like, Do you know the dance? And I'm like, I do know the dance. And here's all these big girls, and she brings me in the room to do dance with them. So I get to stand next to Jackie and do the do the dance, you know, and it's like, wow. So my mom used to do uh me and my shadow. And so we kind of have that as our little thing where, you know, she's my shadow and I'm her shadow. That's awesome. But yes, I mean, you're thinking about when you're little and these people in your lives this long and the influence, you know. I always say she was like my uh back in the day duelupe, you know, that's that's how she was to me. Like that was my that was my my duelupe uh girl to follow when yeah. I really didn't know of like girl figures everybody knows. I love my David, my David Bowie. Um, but I didn't really look up to too many girls out in there at that time because I had girls in the studio to look up to. So they were my, you know, uh people in the magazine and stuff because they were, I mean, they had my godmother was uh a roquette, so my mom had I think six girls that were roquettes, yeah, and I city music hall. So that's amazing. So there's a little glimpse for who asked that. Um, I know it's a little complicated, but that is my life complicated.
Zia:And that's one of the things I love about you.
Heather:Thank you. I love that you love that for me.
Zia:And I want everybody to know I know this story because I've heard it before, and I still get confused on the people's names and who they are in their relation. And I always have to run through my head. I have like a little family tree of Z in my brain, and I'm like, wait, oh yeah, that one.
Heather:Oh yeah, that one. Yep, and you will hear me. I do say mom Karen, I say mom Joyce, you know. You do, you do, yeah, dad Len, that's you know, so yeah.
Zia:Yep. So so I'm gonna jump topics and I'm gonna go back to the new year topic. Go ahead. Because I want to tell a story.
Heather:Oh my god.
Zia:So it's a great story. So your New Year's Eve, my New Year's Eve, very freaking. Yes. Um Rich had gotten me for Christmas tickets to see a comic um in Boston, and um it's the comic is Matt Rife. I don't know. Yes, I know a few of our followers um know Matt Reif and they know how much I love Matt Reif.
Heather:Yeah.
Zia:Um, so we went to go see Matt Reif, and there was a few things about this show that made me A think of you a few times, and B just love the night. So, first of all, we all know Zia is a devils fan. Yeah, in more ways than one, but true, true. A lot of concerns for that devil were that that was a big pun. That was an unexpected pun. Um, so we were in the Bruin Stadium, it was the PD Garden in Boston. Yeah, so I walked in and it was pee pee yellow, and I was like, whoa, and I'm like, whoa. So I even said to Rich, I'm like, I should take a picture next to the Bruin. Oh my god. And he was like, Yeah, but it was too dark for the Bruin outside, so he didn't. Um and the stadium was filled. So at one point, Matt Reif said 18,000 speeds were sold to his New Year's Eve show.
Heather:That's awesome.
Zia:Um, it was amazing. Um, so that was very weird. Um, that was a lot of people, and if you know me in my anxiety, for those who know me, that was a lot for me to deal with. Yeah, that was a lot for me. Um, I did very well though. Um we we were told our phones were going into phone jail. Okay. Um we went and saw at Spack that um we didn't know. We saw Bill Byrd Spack a couple of years back, and we had to put our phones in phone jail, and we didn't know going in. Yeah, and it made my anxiety much worse because it was my watch, my phone, my wallet, everything had to get me locked up. So we went in thinking this was gonna happen for Matt Rife, and it didn't. Um, it was just said to keep them off. Yeah, but the story I want to tell, the big story I want to tell, is towards the end of the show, he always does a uh audience interaction. He'll talk with the audience and stuff like that. And he was doing that. I love that part. He was talking to one guy and then he talked to a grandma, and then another guy jumped out of his seat and was like, Look at my shirt. And so he looks at a shirt and a shirt, I don't even know what it said. Something like my wife beat me in the shirt or something. I don't know. I don't know. And again, and Matt Reif was like, What are you talking about? He's like, I I don't like that shirt, and he was like, But it's cool. He's like, Where are you from? And he goes, I'm from New York. 18,000 people, well, 17,999 people, because I whooped all booed.
Heather:Because you're in Boston.
Zia:I wasn't in unison because we were in Boston and this guy claimed to be from New York, and I'm like, Okay, I'm from Jersey, but I am from New York, so whoop whoop, and then I'm like, well, I mean, we have our built-in rivalry between New York and New Jersey, but I'm like, I got New York's back, and then everybody booed, and I'm like looking around, and Rich Rich reaches over and taps my leg and he goes, It's okay, honey. And I'm like, don't let me hear now. That's great, that's great. I don't know where that many booze at once.
Heather:Of course, all the all the Boston people in there were like, So you're a Rangers fan. Is that what you're telling me? Is that what you're telling me? Get the hell out of my stadium, you're gonna jinx us.
Zia:Exactly, exactly. But yeah, it was very weird. The show overall was perfect. Love it. Um, but um, but it was it was it was a very good show, but I thought that was the best part, and I thought of you during that, and I'm like, I was trying to support New York.
Heather:See, always support Jersey, always support Jersey, it it gets you in trouble. It does. Uh yeah. See, he would have said, Oh, I'm from New York, and you're like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm from Jersey. You would have been safe.
Zia:I would have been safe, but nope, nope. I whoop whooped him. And and the lady sitting next to me did look at me. She's like, uh, and I'm like, hey.
Heather:Yeah, and yeah, there's like my best friend is a Jersey Devil fan, not a Ranger fan.
Zia:Exactly. Yeah, I I don't like the Rangers, I don't like the Devils either, but I like the Devils because they're Jimmy.
Heather:But that's right, that's right. Yeah, I'm just not a person. We'll have to talk about how I got into that. I'll I'll write that in our notes too. Okay. Oh my god, that's yeah, that's so funny. That's so funny. Yeah, he does talk a lot like us. Um, well, he definitely talks a lot like me. So yes, I I agree with a lot of. Things he says, which is maybe terrible of me, but I mean, but I come from like you know, liking you know, Andrew Dice Clay when all the women were like, Why do you like Andrew Dice Clay? And I was like, Because I do, you know, I'm sorry.
Zia:Okay, so so just so you know, half of our audience does not know who Andrew Dice Clay is.
Heather:That is true. Look him up, you'll hate him too. Like, why did you like crazy at him? Yeah, yeah. You'll sit there and go, I hate, I hate this guy. Why would they why why he talk he talks down about women? And uh, you know what? I'm not I'm I'm not I'm not the biggest fan of some women either. So oh my goodness. Too funny. So um I wanted to ask you, um, how is your um honeybee school going? So or your studies, I should say, your studies.
Zia:It is going quite well. Ironically, I've been reading the book Beekeepers for Dummies. Okay. Um, which I didn't realize how much of a dummy on beekeeping I was, but I mean I I've learned a few things that I didn't know. Like all bees, all the bees that you see and that sting you are all girls. The only thing they make a boy bee for is nasty bees. Yeah. The only thing a boy bee does is mate with the with the queen, and then they die. Wow, they kick all the boys out of the out of the hive in the winter and they just die. The boys are literally disposable. If there's if there's too many boys in the nest or in the hive, the queen stops making boys, and wow. Yeah, so I learned that, but B school officially starts the first week of February. Okay, and it goes all through February. Um, and then we have the in-person class, that's all on Zoom. Um and then the in-person class is an entire day on a Saturday in March. But for Christmas, I got the hive, Rich got me a hive for Christmas, so I have the start of it. Um, I have a B suit. I'll have to put the suit on and take a picture, and I will post that. Yeah. Um but yeah, so it's coming along.
Heather:I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
Zia:You'll get you'll get real honey. You won't get honey for the first year. Yeah, you can't take their honey the first year because they'll be growing. Um, but after the summer, next summer, you'll get honey. That's exciting.
Heather:Yeah, and then we'll have to uh get into candle making.
Zia:Yeah. Or lip chap, lip chap, chapstick. Love it. Lip chap. Um, yeah. So I hate to break it to us, but we're gonna have to. We have two other topics that we wanted to talk about, but we're running out of time. That's okay. Go ahead. So let's jump into our five-minute do-we loves. Yeah. So we did talk about the new year new me. So new year new me, yes, no. No, no, I'm a no-t. Can I say I'm gonna say hard no? Hard. I don't have to say a hard no because I'm always looking to improve myself. But we do I'm not gonna improve it. Yeah, right. I'm not gonna do it because it's January 1st.
Heather:Yeah. Um, you got a green thumb? I do. I didn't, but I do. I didn't know I had it and it was hidden.
Zia:You it was hidden, yeah.
Heather:I think I just I started go ahead. I I think I just had to start with the plant I liked, um, which was the aloe plant, and then I worked up to that. Yep.
Zia:Yeah, yeah. I started with um my grandma's spider plant, which I have a piece. You do, you have one of her many, many babies, but I started with my mom, my grandma's spider plant, and um I now have half my kitchen is is plant. Yeah, and uh yeah, I love it. I started the hobby.
Heather:That was one of our uh talking points when we first met, too. We were treating plants. Yep, we were, yeah.
Zia:So we have um we had put out on our Instagram and our Facebook, do you have any five-minute do we loves? Yeah, and we did get a couple back. So from um Allie, shout out to Allie on Instagram. Um, she asked us around what point in the season do we get sick of the snow?
Heather:The first snow.
Zia:The first time I have to go out, and even when it's cleared, I still have to be careful walking. Yeah. I I'm good with s no, I'm good with the first one. The first one's always so pretty, but I'm I'm done with it after I've cleared it and there's still snow there. Like you go out and you clear and you clear and you clear. Yeah. So I'm um, I want to move south.
Heather:Yeah, I I don't wanna, I don't know. I don't know how much south I would. We've lived in Florida and Virginia, and you know, every everything looks great until you're actually there and you're like, okay, it's hot as you know. Best hell. And uh you're like, no. Uh I've lived on the um east coast of Florida, west coast of Florida. I hated both of them. Um, East Coast more I liked because you got a couple of uh um season changing. Um, but uh West Coast, Jesus, you take a shower and five seconds you walk out the door and you need a new one. Um agreed. So yeah, it's like I don't know how much more south. Maybe Jersey. Maybe Jersey would be a good south for me. That would be a good south, but yeah, that's that's about as south as I would like to go. But yeah.
Zia:No, I want I want to go a little farther. I'm I'm good with the Carolinas, Virginia, South Carolina.
Heather:I do like South Carolina because Georgia, you know, I like Georgia, yeah.
Zia:Sylvanna, I would go there, but I but I do want to stay on the east. I want to stay on the east coast.
Heather:Yeah, but I do like living up here because of our if there's a meteor hit and it goes, like I'm still safe in the mountains with the water backed. That's why I stay here. I got I got a creek.
Zia:Oh, yeah, I go there. I will go see you. Yes. We have 200 acres. Yeah, there we go. Um, and then from our Instagram follower as well, Eliza. Shout out to Eliza. Um, who's also my kid, but shout out to Eliza. Um, best winter flavor coffee.
Heather:Oh, I have been hooked. It's not really a coffee. I don't know if they put coffee in it, but I like this gingerbread chai that I've been I've been really in with the gingerbreads. Okay.
Zia:The gingerbread year. All right. I did um I did the uh one of the little coffee plate shacks here. Um, and I call it a shack because they're that's they're in a shack. That's okay. Go to you, it's only a drive-up. You can't go in, there's no inside. Yeah, um, they had an eggnog, and I and I tried it, and I'm not gonna lie, that was really good. I I really enjoyed that this year. So this year's flavor for me would have been that eggnog. I went there a few times. It's not local, it's it's about a 25-30 minute drive. Okay. Um, but I do go that way enough that I've gotten it uh a couple of times. So I'm I'm gonna go with I did eggnog this year.
Heather:Yeah, my my first place that I we have that little um shop, the Mokalisa's. And I had gone with one of my other friends there for coffee, and they had a gingerbread coffee. And um that started my gingerbread kick. And I'm not usually a gingerbread person, like I don't really like gingerbread cookies. I like ginger snaps. Oh, ginger snaps, yes. That's a Jersey thing, though. That's it. Yeah, um, but yeah, definitely. Um that kicked off that gingerbread haul and coffee. But that gingerbread chai, if you're at a Starbucks, um, I got it cold. Yeah, it's so good. I I could keep drinking that. Even after. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully they come back with it next year.
Zia:I was gonna say that. Is that a winter thing or was that a Christmas thing? Do you know?
Heather:I think it's a Christmas thing because I don't think I saw it right in the kick of winter. Yeah.
Zia:Okay. All right. Well, yeah, but we only had those four this week. Um, yeah. Anybody who's listening, jump on any of our socials um and and throw up more questions. We love the do you loves um and anything you want us to talk about. We did have a couple other topics we were trying to hit to, but we're trying to keep these podcasts to 30 minutes. Yeah. Um just because I don't know about you, but I lose my attention span after 30 minutes. Yeah. Um, so we'll we'll we'll move those topics down to next. Hopefully, we'll get to them.
Heather:Yeah, and we'll try to answer all your questions like we did today. Um I know you're trying to learn about us and um Yeah, anything you want to know, and maybe we'll throw in some of our health issues.
Zia:We'll each maybe tip off one or two generics. I don't know. Yeah. Um, because I know that's a question people have asked. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I know we mention a lot.
Heather:We mention a lot, and then they're like, what about that? We would like to know about that.
Zia:What do you what do you mean? Um but yeah, so other than that, um I think we're gonna have DJ Slink play us out when I Yes, absolutely. And uh we'll see you all next week. See you next week when we are in person. Yes, and happy new year. Happy New Year. Do we love the changes? Do we? I think we do.
Heather:I think we do.
Zia:All right.
