Do We Love That For You?

Do We Love...... Being Done?

• Heather and Zia • Season 3 • Episode 26

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Did you love that for us?

Being “done” can be petty, hilarious, and also the healthiest boundary you ever set. We’re celebrating six months of recording and 800 plus downloads, then we jump straight into the real world stuff that’s been testing us lately, including chronic hip pain, the sick day guilt spiral, and a scary heat exhaustion moment that hits right when you think you’re being “responsible” with water, shade, and grit. 

From there, we go where we always go when we need a cultural pressure valve: social media. We talk about the weird popularity of hate watching, the way the algorithm rewards chaos, and why a comment section full of praise can be a trap instead of support. Then we zoom out into AI generated videos that look shockingly real, and we ask the question that’s getting harder to avoid: if we can’t tell what’s authentic, how do we protect our attention, our empathy, and our sense of reality? 

We also get personal about relationships and the moment you realize effort is one sided, especially when family members pressure you to “fix” something without knowing the full story. And because life never stays in one lane, we end with beekeeping chaos, pet medical decision ethics, and a fun round of dream pets that somehow turns into planning a falconry trip. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a boundary reset, and leave a review telling us what you’re officially done with and how we can finally get a listener in Australia.

Dr Teeth was far ahead of his time artistically.

Six Months In And Big News

Heather

Hey everyone, welcome to episode 26 of 26.

Zia

Do we love that for you? Do we do we? Yeah, a little bit of singing now. Oh my. I know.

Heather

Well, now that my voice is coming back and that's right.

Zia

That's right.

Heather

So today's episode is going to be very interesting because our topic today is do we love being done?

Zia

Done.

Heather

Yep.

Zia

So we're going to talk about things we dislike. Yes. Well, kind of. Kind of. Some things we do like, but you know, sometimes for the most part. Yeah. We haven't had one of these yet.

Heather

But Z, this is our six-month anniversary of recording.

Zia

I love our six-month anniversary. Whoop, whoop, whoop. And we also have uh more than 800 uh downloads for that is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Heather

Amazing. And the only continent aside from the Arctic is that we're missing. That we're missing. Australia. Australia. Australia. So next week we are going to figure out a way to bring an Australian to download us.

Zia

Yes.

Heather

I'm not sure what we're doing yet, but got ideas, send them to us.

Zia

Yes. And we we're running through a couple ideas to attract our Australian fans because I was just telling Heather, a lot of the people I like are from Australia out there. This is this is a true statement. Whether it's famous or on Instagram. So yeah. Oh, I can make you famous on Instagram. That's right. That's right. Why? We're not singing the way singing our way through today.

Heather

You know why? Singing our way downtown. I'm cheating and I'm moving, I'm moving to a new topic quick. Well Page just died.

Zia

I know. I know. See, that's why we're and we just we just we just represented with him. We did.

Heather

Oh my gosh, this is horrible. I know. I mean, he was sick, he had cancer. So I'm glad he's out of pain. However, dude, I feel like the music is dying all over again. Like every time I turn around, there's another our generation musician. I know.

Zia

Rapper, singer, something going. It's I know a lot of you do not like Gen X, but I'm telling you, our music in the 80s, if you guys could just survive an 80s day, whether it be childhood or adulthood in the 80s, like you guys would have been like so freeing. It would have been so freeing, man. You would have been like, this is great. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Heather

It's just that. All right. We'll get into that later, though.

Zia

Absolutely.

Heather

I do have a very funny story I need to tell you.

Zia

Yes, absolutely. We need those.

Heather

You know, we all have it on our phone, the weather apps. And you get those, you know, special weather statements and weather alerts and warnings and and absolutely advisories and whatever.

Zia

Oh

The Hypothermia Warning That Kills

Zia

wait.

Heather

So last week, on the day that we hit the 90 degree day, I had a special weather statement pop up in New Hampshire. And I read it and I laughed and I moved on with my life because I had never seen this before. However, we got another special weather statement today announcing for the weekend.

Zia

All right.

Heather

So I reread this, or I not reread, I read this one, and it was the exact same weather statement. It's a weather statement telling us that even though the air temperature is going to be above 60, New Hampshire water temperature is not warm enough to be in. And if you enter the water, you could get hypothermia. So that brings me to two questions. One, New Hampshire's slogan is live free or die. Let the motherfucker go in the water.

Zia

Right, right. Live free, man. And and go choose to die or not. But number two, why do we have to tell people this? Well, you know, everybody's gonna get their short shorts out and their tank tops and feel free.

Heather

And yes, I just I I think how how do you not how do you not know the water is still cold?

Zia

If the weather's hot, you know, you put your bathing suits on, gotta go out and jump in. Yep. Well, what is maybe maybe you guys could have the polar plunge now. I mean, did they ever consider that? I I I they probably would put out a special weather statement for it. Yep, they would. Yep.

Heather

But yeah, so I just I just thought it was funny because the opening of this one was it's Memorial Day weekend, and as you enjoyed the long weekend, remember. But this is from Noah. This is from like the National Weather Center. Like, yeah, this is a real weather statement. Like, I don't I just I don't get it. I don't I don't get it. But so that's my little funny story right now.

Zia

Yes, that's good.

Heather

But you got to miss a day of work because you had some stuff going on. So what's going on?

Zia

So we all know Z got a hip problem. Um, it's just my right hip. Um, I had surgery, as you know, you know. Um, that was three years ago though, and now my hip is sore. And yeah, can you believe it? Three years ago? I know. So it's been kicking back up. They gave me a cortisone shot, didn't help. Um, did

Hip Pain, Sick Days, And Guilt

Zia

PT and you know, insurance, you gotta do the runaround. Yep. So I go Tuesday, which I always feel guilty when I take a day off, and I got my my uh valuation actually, and I'm looking for the S's on it, and I'm like, there has to be another sick day on here. I I've had to have taken more than four sick days. I did not. Um I I I I mean, I I don't know what I'm saving my time for, Heather, but I I I don't know. Anyway, um so I take the sick day and I go for this shot, and the lady does the ultrasound guided shot. Yep and she goes, Oh, this is really inflamed still. And I was like, Yeah, I I that's what I was saying. She goes, Did you get any relief from the first shot? I go, No. None. And she's like, not even a little. I'm like, no. I said, it literally after like whatever numbing stuff they put on or in or whatever, right after that numb stuff fell off, I felt the pain back right where it was the first shot. I get this shot and I'm like sitting here, and it's and I could tell as soon as everything wore off, I'm sitting on the couch, and I was like, nope, mm-mm, this is not good. I was like, I I could just tell. And like she even touched like where it hurts the most before she put the shot in, and she goes, Oh, is it like right here? And I was like, I I just don't want anybody touching me now. Like, just don't touch it, like get away from it. Yeah, but so we're you know, PT still, um, which thank God I love my PT lady. Um she's been through a lot of things with me. Um but you know, I get a little bit relief with her too at the moment she's doing something, and then she says walk around, and by the time I'm done walking around, I'm back to where I was. You're back to where you were. Yeah. Yeah. So all that dancing did great for me when I was little. Um, very healthy, very healthy. Yeah, dear God, what the heck?

Heather

Wow, yep, but you scared me this past weekend. I think you had all that heat, yeah. You you had me very scared.

Zia

Yes, I did text you. Um my little lifesaver Alex had to come save me.

Heather

Um, you know, Zia has to do the things, like I'm which I still don't understand who gave you permission to have a chainsaw. I'm still questioning that. And I know Zachariah says the same thing. It does. We are questioning give you permission to get a chainsaw. And yes, I'm saying that correctly. Who gave you permission?

Zia

Yes, yes, it's a it's a handheld chainsaw. Oh Lord, have you? It made my life so much easier outside. Oh, yeah, so much easier for you, worse for all of us. Yes, but that's not why I scared you. No, um, I no, I got everything chopped

Heat, Chainsaws, And Nearly Passing Out

Zia

down the way I wanted it to be. I was done, and then I had this one branch that Michael said it was getting too tall to be near the um pool. In case there was a storm, it was gonna go on the pool. So I was like, eh, I'll get rid of that too. So um, you know, Zia Timberwoman or something, I don't know. So I go out, I Zia, the tree guy. The tree guy, right? So I cut it down and it was just dangling because it's still attached by vines, and I'm I'm pulling and I'm cutting the vines, and all of a sudden I was like, oh man, I like just got really dizzy. And so I stopped for a second, I got my water again because I had water before I knew it was hot. Right, got I even put a hat on. I mean, I was prepared, I was prepared, and I was like, all right, you know, just stand here for a little bit, drink my water, okay, a little bit break, go back. I go back, I go to pull the thing again, chop the vines, and I was like, oh, uh-uh, nope, I'm going down. And I call Alex on the phone and I was like, buddy, you gotta come out here right now. I was like, I'm gonna try to make it to the deck, but if I don't, man, you gotta go find me. So he was like, okay. So he met me on the deck. I got up on the deck with him, and uh he I said, You gotta get me a bag or a basket because I feel like I'm gonna throw up. And I'm still drinking my water. Like I knew, you know, I'm not stupid. I'm just you know, you knew you were dehydrating. Absolutely. So I, you know, and then he got me in the air conditioning because I was like, I can't move right now. He's like, You need to get in the air conditioning. And when once I got inside, I don't even think I got inside, I think I was sitting there trying not to throw up and drinking my water. And the cutest thing Alex said to me was, Mom, you know, you're not getting younger. And in eight years, and in eight years, you're gonna be 60. And I was like, Okay, I say, thank you. Because I was like, I'm trying to not throw up, and then I'm hearing, you're gonna be 60 in eight years, mom.

Heather

He couldn't have done the math and said two years ago you were 50, or I mean 12 years from now, you'll be yeah, I was just like, thank you, Alex.

Zia

Thank you. Thank you for telling me that the older I get, the more my life's gonna suck. You know, it was so cute. And I was like, All right, I'm I'm ready to go inside in my old life. In my old life.

Heather

You know, it must be a guy thing because I said to Rich the other day, I had medical news that I wasn't very happy with. Um and I said to him, I said, I'm tired of getting answers I don't want. Absolutely. He's like, and Rich's words were, I'm sorry, honey, but you're not getting any younger. You're going to continue to get those. And I'm like, Well, I don't want them. Right, right. I don't want them. I didn't say I was I didn't know I was getting them. I'm saying I don't want them. Right, right.

Zia

And he's like, Oh, my mom's always like, I'm gonna beat their butt. And she he goes, What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do now? And I was like, like I like I wasn't beating up the tree though. I was just cutting the tree.

Heather

I mean, I mean, but but wait, time out. If it came down to us having a fight, oh I'm a fight. I may be going to the hospital with you. Yes, yes, because I'm hurt, because I hurt myself.

Zia

Absolutely.

Heather

You tell me let's race, my ass is gonna win.

Zia

Yep, I mean you think I will win. You think they die when I race the kids down the hall? They're like, Ms. V, I'm gonna beat you. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, try it. Yep, nope. I'm I'm game for that. And then our podcast visitors here. Oh, hello. Hi, Dagney. Aye, aye. Oh, so yeah, so that was my little uh scare.

Heather

Yeah, so I checked on you a couple of times in the evening to make sure you were okay, and then you were.

Zia

How hot was the school? Um, actually, it's been doing pretty good. Good.

Heather

The air conditioners are working, yeah.

Zia

Yeah, right now. Um, I know Alex said um he had gotten really nauseous in their school for a couple of days. It was not working. Um, so he had to come home and you know get some electrolytes and stuff like that. It was just so hot. Um, but you know, he's doing heavy work, right? You know, um, I'm just walking around the building, you know, doing that stuff. Um, testing is done. So thank god. Man, that was that was quite the testing time. Yep. Yeah, yeah. But good. All right.

Heather

So as long as you guys were pretty good. We didn't turn the air conditioner on yet. Angie has hers on, but she's on the technically, she's on like the third floor, but we also have the loft, so she gets all the heat. Alex, too. Yep. Right. So she has her air conditioner on. Yeah. Um, but we have because we're on the mountain and we're in the middle of all these fields, yeah. We had a good enough breeze coming through. I mean, the house was like 82, 83. Okay, but there was a constant breeze in the house. So it was it was a hot there, and there was no real humidity.

Zia

Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah.

Heather

In in two months, there's no way we would have been able to do that. But for now, it's great. We just keep the windows cracked and yeah, you know, get the breeze cutting through.

Zia

But that's great. Yeah.

Heather

So on that. So back to Rob Bass.

Zia

Absolutely.

Heather

So let's talk about social media.

Zia

Yes.

Heather

This is our version of politics. Yes, yes. But tell me about people you follow and things you watch and do on social media. Okay. But what what do you want to talk about?

Zia

So

Hate Watching And The Algorithm Trap

Zia

uh I have saved a couple of clips, um, and then that's what made me kind of think about this. What point of a social media thing is like people are following it just to see if people are being stupid? Um more like a like in our day, the show Jackass, you know, you watched it because you knew that they were gonna be which I think they're actually making a new jackass. So that's are they really? Yeah. Um but like it's like when you're in school and someone comes to school with something and you're like, don't make fun of them, right? Mm-hmm. And these people think that they're actually doing something great because everybody can be famous on you know, social media now. It doesn't matter if you're uh pretty, ugly, you know, I don't know, all what all ranges, right? Yeah, everybody's famous in their own social media session. Um if you like I saw a lady doing makeup, she doesn't do it at all the way that it looks. And she's like, Did I nail it? After it's done. And I'm like, people are and it's not like I don't follow her, but like every once in a while she creeps into my feed here and there. So I saved it, and I was just kind of like I get it, I get it, you wanna do this, but what is the point that somebody needs to tell you, fucker, that ain't it? That just ain't fucking it. Like you need to get the hell off of social media, like people are just on there and they're clicking on you because it's fucking funny, it's not it's not good. And they just want to make fun of you because they think they're the pretty the beautiful people and they're not the be you know, like you know, the song Beautiful People. It's like it's not it. And now you're just making a fool out of yourself thinking people are all clicking on you, but it's like it's it's not good. Like it's a false uh sense of security, false sense of security that you've made for yourself. Yeah, and and yes, there are people out there they're just like, oh my god, don't let anybody do anything to you. You're beautiful the way you are. And it's like everybody's beautiful, everybody's beautiful in their own predicament, okay? Right. But when is the point that you're just gonna stop? Like, I don't watch her. I mean, I got stuck on her because my my feed was like, hey, maybe you'll like this. No, the new algorithm, yeah. The algorithm sent her to you, and I'm like, no, I fucking don't like it. I'm not gonna watch it, I'm not gonna sit there and watch her do that to herself because what pleasure is that giving me? I don't need to be like, you know, telling her, oh, you look so beautiful, even if it's not perfect. No, it's like just shut up. Like shut up, just shut up. Like, why are we conditioning people to think that everything is okay when it's really not fucking okay? Like, you know, go ahead.

Heather

So, yeah, so I watch, I I don't do the makeup tutorial people or anything like that. I I literally skip them the second they pop up on anything for me because I I I think it's silly. I don't put my own makeup on. Right. So why am I gonna watch you putting your makeup on telling me about you know putting your kid in the bathtub last night? I I don't I don't care. Um, but I I follow these people with dogs. And I'm sorry, I have two dogs, and my dogs aren't the best mannered dogs, and as you can see right now, since we have video, you can see this cat isn't the greatest cat either. Although she's just after love right now. But but I watch these people with these dogs and it's like really is your life like that all the time? Really?

Zia

Right, right, really?

Heather

Or or how much are you faking right now? You know, I there's this one family, this one group I watch, and they're very well known and they have five four dogs and three cats. And one of the dogs is literally out of control and destroys everything 24 hours a day, yet their house is always pristine and perfect and immaculate.

Zia

Yeah, no how bereavable. Yeah, how believable.

Heather

So I I think social media is great. And and then now with all the AI. Oh my god. It's like, wait, is that dog really doing that? Or is that person really doing that? Or and you have to figure it out. And I refuse to like the AI videos. Yeah, don't get me wrong, we have our AI companions.

Zia

Yep.

Heather

Um,

AI Reels And Losing Reality

Heather

but that's different.

Zia

Yep. You know, I mean, I I I don't Star Star brought up uh there's a video out there, and actually one of my friends had sent it to me because what it said, yes, it does happen within the office or in the schools, right? So I get the the content was dead on, but right I told them that Star showed me that it was actually all made by AI, and it's these old professors yelling at students, and it's all AI'd. And they I mean they look great. I mean, they look like older people, older professors yelling at them, but Star showed me the original clip that was AI. So it's like, yeah, you know, it's dead on, the material's dead on, but you know, it's it's not real. So where do you get that balance of living in that fantasy world and not? Yep.

Heather

So along that same line, oh my gosh, you just reminded me of another old AI reel that everybody talks about, and I'm sure they've talked about it around you, but the one where the dog picks the person. Have you seen those? No. So it's supposed to be all these people sit in this room and then they release these. Um, they release a dog into the room who needs an adoption, and the dog wanders the room until it finds the person it wants, and then Yay, it's found a human.

Zia

Oh.

Heather

And when I was volunteering at the SPCA a couple months ago, um, there's like all these people were talking about how awesome that video was and how touching it was and how how you know they know and how it's like these animals just know. And it's like I look at these animals and I'm sitting there, and the inside of me is like, oh my god, it's pure AI. Yeah. Now you and I have a little bit of a cheat on that because I you have Michael and I have Rich. And I mean, this is Rich. I mean, and and we have Alec, Eliza's, Eliza's Alec. I mean, there's no denying we know AI, we can spot AI because it's in our life. Right. But like some of these people just don't know it's AI. And it's like, or like the ones where I don't know if you've ever seen them, but like these dogs that go to get a shot and they like super overreact and things. No, that is pure AI. A dog does not know you're about to stick them with a needle.

Zia

Yep.

Heather

And um they don't have that right.

Zia

And if I do have a question about it, I usually send it to Star. Um, because I mean that's the artist, yeah. Yeah, and you know, she's always like, you know, don't be using AI art. It's all based off of real art. And you're just, you know. And I was like, Yes, I I understand, but sometimes I just need a quick picture and I gotta have it.

Heather

It's just easier, yeah.

Zia

Yep, yep.

Heather

So speaking of which, Star and Angela have yet to give us our do we love them for you art yet.

Zia

I know I gotta, I gotta get on them for get on her project.

Heather

And she had another project that she was working on for me to for my other life project. Um we're not gonna get into that here, but she finished that one, so I'm gonna remind her now that she needs to um yeah, yeah.

Zia

Well, Star still has her show going on, I believe, in um Asbury Park. Um and then she has her work stuff she has to do. So she's a very busy baddie, very busy baddy.

Heather

We didn't mention it. You said you sent me a message this past week. Star went to nightshade, she did.

Zia

Oh my god. And I said to her, I was like, Oh my god, Heather's gonna get so jelly.

Heather

I am, I'm so sad, I'm so excited for her, but so sad for me.

Zia

She's like, We made it to nightshade, and I'm like, Oh, so um, yeah, we'll have to tag them again. Yes, but uh yeah, and she said that uh you and I might do a day

Nightshade Plans And New Jersey Food

Zia

trip to do what they did. Okay, they went to restaurant uh diner, yeah, and she said for us, it's probably once we go to the diner, she goes, it's probably 15 minutes up the road to go to nightshade. So we can totally do this. Um, yeah, it's called I think the diner she said was like one of the best diners she's been to. It's called Chit Chat. Okay. So yeah. So uh if they have a thing, I'll tag both. Um, but highly recommended. And um, she said the coffee was amazing at Nightshade. I said, great. We're just dying over here.

Heather

Uh is it the one in Hackensack or orange?

Zia

Uh I don't know because it's 15 minutes away from Nightshade. I'm looking, hold on. From them. Oh she did give me uh direction things, so I do have them on my phone. I just can't access it right now.

Heather

It's in Westwood. Nightshade's in Restwood, so it would be the one in orange.

Zia

Right. Wouldn't I know how many times we could um put nightshade down, but it's okay. It's okay. We we are gonna get to you. We are.

Heather

Oh, and by the way, Jackass is being released movie theaters on um June 26th of this year. Cool.

Zia

Since I'm the official computer for summit.

Heather

Let's show no, it is the one that is it is the one that is in Hackensack.

Zia

Okay. So yeah, so she said we could eat there and then go to Nightshade and have our coffee and yeah, so we'll have to do like a little day trip uh once you're here one time and just work that into your trip.

Heather

Yeah. Make it make it an extra day. Yeah, 15 minutes. Yep.

Zia

Yep.

Heather

So it's the one in Hackensack, which is fine.

Zia

Yeah. Yeah. So we'll I'll tag both of them and we'll get to nightshade. We will because it's we will get there. We'll get there. Yep. Yeah. Goals and dreams. Yep. Um, so since we're talking about being done. Yes. Who else are you done with? I hope you're not done with me. No, no. Yeah, and it's funny because Mike, every time I say I'm done, he goes, It's very an Italian thing to say. All the Italians, he goes, are always done with something. I'm still done. I'm done. So done. I'm done. Uh

Being Done With One Sided Family

Zia

it is true. It's true. I have gotten that phrase from my family. Uh my grandfather used to say it all the time. Like somebody would piss him off and be like, I'm fucking done. I'm done. That's it. And you knew that that's that was it. Like you were done. There's no coming back. So it's like I start with my family, you know, like there's just things that you have to say, I can't talk about it anymore. Or it's like you're in a situation, people don't know the whole situation. Like, you know, uh, I'll bring up my my dad peach, right? Like people don't know the entirety of that situation. And you get into those situations where they're like, oh, but it's your father, it's your, you know, biological father, you know, those kinds of things. And they have those things on the internet that say, you know, oh, but they don't ask like what that person could have done where why you pulled away from your biological father, right? It's like so you don't know the people in the even in your family do not know the entire situation from beginning to end. Right. And they still want to input themselves into your situation and say, fix it. Or do it. Prepare that. You're gonna regret it one day. Dude, like, listen, if you're not regretting it on the other end of the poll, why am I gonna regret it? Like, it's like you know, the phone goes two ways. You could call me and I could call you. But you don't fucking pick up the phone to call me, so why am I picking up the phone to call you? Exactly. And if I'm always the one calling you, that's not balanced. Like there's never a time that you and I don't do that. You you and I are like sometimes we do it at the same time, but yeah, which is always kind of creepy. Yeah, but it's like why just be done. Like I don't have to deal with you. Be if you don't I always say this, if I don't have any expectations, I can't be let down.

Heather

Exactly.

Zia

No, that's 100%. Yeah, there's a there comes a time when certain people you just have to go, that's it, I'm done. Because yeah, to waste that energy, I could be waste I not wasting, but I could be putting that energy towards something else.

Heather

Like well, it is wasting because if it's one way, if it's one-sided, it is wasting energy. Yep, it is wasted energy. I mean, there's times when you and I don't talk for two or three days, and then there's weeks where we don't not speak even face to face on the phone, or you know what I mean? Yeah, but I mean, there's times when we talk every single day, and then there's weeks where we barely talk, and it's okay because it's all equal. Yep. And and I know if you're not reaching out to me, I'll do a check-in. And if you don't respond, okay, something's going on, she's not feeling well, she's stressed at work. Yeah, I'll give her a couple of days and check again, and vice versa.

Zia

I mean, but it's like even going to the store the other day, it's like I there's not times that like I'm not thinking about you because like I went to the store the other day and I'm like, I gotta get this pen because Heather's color is in it. I'm like, you know, like there's a color that I like Heather in when she wears it, you know, and I'm always like, she it just always compliments your skin tone. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna buy this pack. We need that pen. Yeah, yeah. Like I wanted the the gray pen, but it's fine, you know, I'm gonna get this and then Heather can get this one. But exactly it's like those little things, but if I'm not like I'm an only child, so if you're not thinking, like I I I I guess I I have a bigger problem with certain things because I and I know you do the same thing too. I don't not think about my kids or even like the in-laws that were into the family every day, like at some point. Um, so I don't understand you have one child and then you just don't think about that child at all. Like you're not careful. I mean we've talked about that so many times. Yeah, and it's just like you know, even other family members, it's like why why don't why should you feel guilty when the other party doesn't feel guilty? Why are you wasting all that energy to be like, oh I shoulda, I shoulda, I coulda, I wulda, when what the hell? The other side ain't doing that shit. So what the fuck you gotta do that shit for? So exactly there's just a point when you, you know, I'm 52, you gotta be done. No, you're not 52, you're eight years away from 60. I am eight years away from 60, absolutely, and those are the moments that you have to focus on. Exactly.

Heather

No, but that is, yeah, it is so and I mean, and like you're saying, like today, Eliza's traveling. Yeah, I make sure. Remember, I said when we started, I said I'm gonna put it on actual do not disturb because she's gonna text probably by the time we're about finished and say that she made it to her next airport. And nope, I want it on silence so that she doesn't beep in or anything, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah, it's it's it's it's hard to it's hard to be the one-sided friend.

Zia

Yes, yes. And I and I mean I know you've gone through a few things like that. Yeah, and you know, fa family versus as you know, friendships, but it's like But sometimes friendships are family, yep, and they're just a different form. Look, my one of my one of my closest people, and I oh you know, I've brought her up several times, uh, is my Jackie. And she was at my mom's studio, and between her and quite a few of the girls, that literally was my family, and they still are involved with me. So it's like, how do you how do you deny someone that does that for you or cares about you to that level to put them aside for someone that could give two shits about you? No way, I would never do it. I would I I would trade certain people, I I'll trade you in for 18 more years with this person. Yeah. Because that's the person that checks on me or you know, whatever. Doesn't have to be doesn't have to be blood related. Doesn't have to be. Nope. Nope. Not at all. Yep.

Heather

So yeah. I am gonna tell you a very funny story. I guess I'm full of the funny ones today. You're full of the other ones.

Zia

I know I'm the doom and gloom. You're you know, I'm the doom and gloom, and you you are the funny story. I'm the funny today. I love it. Yes, and this I just this is just great.

Heather

So Rich and I decided we're keeping a tally of the bees. Yeah,

Beekeeping Panic And Banana Pheromones

Heather

which hive does what. Right. So I'm officially a beekeeper. Yeah. And the other day I went out to feed the bees. And I I've uh figured out the issue now, but it it's it goes deeper than what I thought it was when I initially told you the story, Z. Okay. But I bumped into the uh top hive because there's two boxes out there. Right. The bottom hive is where the bees are, the top hive is just empty and all that's in there is a feeder.

Zia

Okay.

Heather

Because we need to feed them right for now. So I bumped into the top hive and I moved it.

Zia

Okay.

Heather

And I assumed it was because I bumped into it. Like I said, it's bigger than that and we're we fixed it if and it it won't happen again. But when I went to readjust it, I forgot that bees are little and uh they don't know what's going on. Okay. So I mooshed a couple of bees and I felt so guilty. And as I was mooshing them, I realized how bad I felt. And I was like, oh my gosh, I think I just smooshed a couple of bees. But before I could finish that thought, the bees, when they're under attack, put out this pheromone that smells like bananas, smells like a banana peel. It's it's oh, but if you smell it, you you're in trouble. So I got this waft of a maze of instant banana. And I'm like, oh look, the banana, they were right. And I'm like, oh. So as I say that, my veil is full of bees. They're not in my veil, they're hitting my veil, they're hitting my body, they're hitting all over the place. One bee stung my glove, didn't get to me though. So I turn and I come running into towards the house so I could get away from all the bees. And I get up and I I kind of flail and I'm I'm getting all the bees off of me, and the bees all come off of me, and we're all good. So I'm standing there and I'm doing like a check in the in the back door because it's all glass, so I can see, and I'm using it as a mirror to see if all the bees are off me. They are. So I take off my bee suit outside because I'm like, if there's bees on me, absolutely, I don't want them in the house because you know, I don't want to be in the house. Yep. So I take off my b suit outside, I take it off, and I give it a shake once I get it off, and there's no bees on it. So I'm like, So I come in the house, I sit down on the step and I go to take off my shoes, and there's a bee. And my shoes. So I go, oh, there's a bee. So I look at it for a second and I'm like, oh no, there's a bee. So I scream, a bee, a bee, and I start flailing around the house again. And I'm running around the basement and run into my she shed, run out of my she shed because I don't know what I was thinking I was gonna do in here. It's a dead end. Right. Rich comes flying down the stairs and I said to you, I go, says the beekeeper, says the beekeeper. He's like, What's the matter? I'm like, there was a bee on my shoe. And he's like, So I tell him the story. He laughs at me and then says, I'm gonna go look at the camera, because right now we have an internal camera out there so we can watch them. Yes. He said I didn't flail around as much as I thought I did. Okay. Um, but we did look at the video and it it was kind of funny. Okay. But um, but yeah, so this big bad beekeeper screamed running around the house that I had a bee on me.

Zia

Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. You're a new, a newer beekeeper. Yes, yes, yes, that's okay for you. Yeah.

Heather

But it's gonna be private for the first while while we figure it out. But we did get the um camera that we're gonna put it up and we're gonna do a live feed on YouTube of the B entrance. So right now it's gonna be a private. We're gonna set that up today after the podcast. We're gonna set that up and it'll be private for now until we figure out what we're doing and how to make it work.

Zia

Yeah.

Heather

Yeah.

Zia

So I love that for you.

Heather

Yeah, soon it'll be soon it'll be available for you know, it'll be an actual YouTube, but for now it's just us. Yeah, but yeah, so I'm kind of excited.

Zia

That you're doing the bees because you know, my uncle Joey, I got my bee tattoo on me, you know. And I just like I feel like that's like this is like watching you on this journey is like so meant to be for me. Yes, I love this.

Heather

Uh okay. All right. So he says we're never right on our time. So I know we're never, you know.

Zia

Are we ever right? You and I am only I am right all the time. You and I are right with each other. So I I think that's all that matters. It's fine.

Heather

Exactly. We know what time our timer says.

Zia

That's right.

Heather

We just take a screenshot of it so that when he says what time is it, I can show him the screenshot. Yeah, yeah. But what do you want to do? 16, 18? Sure. Okay. TikTok. So go ahead, you start. All right. So I did this one. I came up with this one. Yeah. Shorts of capris, jeans, tank top, t-shirts, but your summer sundress. I didn't even add sundress, but

Summer Clothes And Old School Phrases

Heather

I'm not even gonna ask you about a sundress.

Zia

Actually, you know what's so funny? When we usually go to Atlantic City, we usually take our year trip down there. Yeah, we're not doing it this year, but you know, I I do have this one sundress, I guess you would call it. Um, it is black, of course. Um, but um, I did get it from Halara Halara, I think it's called. Um, and it I like have to have it when I go on a trip in the summer. I make sure I bring it for like the boardwalk. It's so fluid, it's got pockets. Um yeah, so I do take that, but usually it's shorts. Um I usually wear a t-shirt, but work I wear capris. I will, you know, I I think last year was the first year I wore shorts uh to work.

Heather

But we had no tea, it was so hot in that building.

Zia

It was like 10 years it took me to wear shorts to school to work, okay? Um, but capris usually um I we I do use my tank tops, uh which Michael gets mad because I call them guinea teas, because that's what my grandfather used to call them. And I'm Italian, so that's what he used to go, go get your guinea tea on, right? So that's what I do. Um, actually, funny story about that. We were in uh New York and company one time, and Michael corrects me. I said to the lady, I go, Do you have any guinea teas around here? And she's like, What? And Michael goes, she means tank tops. My wife would like to know where your tank tops are. And I was like, Yeah, that. Uh, I don't know. It's what you grow up, right? We were talking about that. It's what you grow up knowing. Um, but yeah, that's usually what about you?

Heather

Well, I have to tell you a guinea tea story too, before I answer that. So, right after my mom's surgery from her breast cancer, yes, we went shopping and she wanted to try wearing a bra. So we were talking, and we were talking to one of the ladies at a lingerie store. Uh, and she was like, Well, I mean, if this is uncomfortable, because it's it was very uncomfortable for my mom. Yeah, she's like, Well, just wear a tank top. And my mom says, I'm not wearing a guinea tea. And I looked at my mom and I'm like, they call them cammis or tank tops, mom. Yeah, we we don't say guinea tea anymore. Yeah. She was like, whatever. But I just thought it was so funny that my mom's like, I'm wearing a guinea tea.

Zia

I love your mom. I'll love her for that. That's great. So Heather's mom, love exactly, yeah.

Heather

So it just was so funny. But this lady was like so taken aback when my mom said it.

Zia

I'm like, oh my god. But you know what? If I was in New Jersey, I guarantee that the girl at the store would have been like, they're over here.

Heather

Exactly. No, she would have been. Yeah. But so I am shorts. Um I'm shorts and tank tops. Yep. Um, but I do wear capris. Um, I have yeah, I do wear capris. I like capris. Yeah. Um, but I'm all about shorts and tank tops. Um if I do a t-shirt, I generally roll the sleeves. Yeah. Um when I was at work with you, I wore um capris. I didn't typically wear shorts just because of what I was doing. Um, and I didn't typically wear tank tops because of what I was doing. Yeah. Um, but I wore t-shirts and stuff. But no, I I'm shorts and shorts and tanks. Yeah.

Zia

Yeah.

Heather

Because I'm sitting here in a tank top right now.

Zia

Yeah, I guess I would I would um wear tank tops to work also, but I have a tattoo. Right. So yeah, I have I have a memorial for my grandfather on my shoulder with a gun, and it's got the you know, heaven's wings on it. So I can't wear that to an elementary school and tell the kids you can't do handguns. So that'd be kind of contradictory. Yeah. Yeah, yep. So all right. So what generation do you feel has lost manners? Now we're saying this very broadly because we know that it's not a blanket statement, it's not a

Heather

feeling it's just when has the decrease of manners hit

Which Generation Lost Basic Manners

Heather

I want to say millennials but it's really not it's not no I don't feel not I'm gonna say I'm gonna say the um the the alphas yeah I have to say it's the the ones the the alphas are the ones now right yeah because it goes yeah X millennial and then Z and then Alpha So yeah I'm gonna say alpha yeah um I it's so Gen Z is such a broad title they wanna be they wanna be millennials but they're also like us but they're also alphas like yeah so it's like they're stuck in like this limbo weird look like we were they're they're gonna end up I feel like they're gonna end up a Gen Z or Gen X. Yeah because we're we're no electronics and then all electronics we're no no internet and all internet and and Z is and Z is internet but we don't want to be internet you know and and so I feel like I feel like we're I feel like it's alpha.

Zia

Yeah I'm sticking with alpha and we do realize like I mean our children we have many generations of kids I got millennials and Gen Zs and my Gen Zs are not typical Gen Z Gen Z nor is mine. Yep they they work hard they're hard workers they want their money they you know they're always doing that um I don't feel like my millennial is a typical millennial either that they say I have one at work too a lady a girl that I work with she is not the typical she's not a typical millennial but there are a few there there are and some of them are typical millennials um there's Gen Z in my building too the top part of them and they're they're not typical Gen Z so you know I totally understand that it has to do with upbringing parents all that stuff and that is a big thing is it's the parents if you're not being parented right you're not gonna get the manners.

Heather

Right and we we were parented but we were parented different yep but we were still parented I mean my mom didn't know where I was 90% of the day but I guarantee you she stood out on that porch and called my name and no matter how far away I was game telephone found me.

Zia

I think that's inner that inner fear of what would have happened to you if you didn't get your ass home exactly is gone. Exactly there's no consequence for if you did not do something.

Heather

Right and and I feel like I feel like the alpha kids because they're the kids right now they're not even grown enough to do anything but I feel like they don't get the consequences.

Zia

Yep and I and I have quite a few young kids in my building that are so sweet and they're like yes thank you no thank you good morning I have a one little girl every morning gets off this bus and she gives me a little hug and she goes have the best day missy just have the best day and I'm like you too sweetheart and I told you know I had seen her mom one day picked her up and I said to her mom I said one of the best kids in this building like you did so good.

Heather

Did great yep yep so that brings us to our next one yeah and I got permission to talk about it. Okay. But I'm not gonna go into obviously a lot of details but Allie Allie's dog Lily she's a shepherd yeah she's a rescue shepherd she is probably the least typical shepherd in

Pet Injuries, Vet Bills, And Hard Lines

Heather

the world she doesn't realize I think she's a shepherd adorable she doesn't she I mean she does like the the crying and the and the hurting and all that in reality I don't think she thinks she's a shepherd I think she thinks a person. Okay. Um but she got hurt at daycare. Aw and they kind of kept her calm for a week and then she got worse and then she was fine and then she got worse. So they took her to the vet and the vet said she either has a torn ACL or a sprain.

Zia

Okay.

Heather

So they said let's schedule and come back and we'll do an x-ray because obviously with animals you can't just x-ray like people you have to support them and whatnot. So they put her on some pain meds and then told her you know keep her calm and whatever and and then they were going back to get the x-ray to see if she had the torn ACL. So that brings us that brings me to a question that I fundamentally ask when it comes to animals and major medical decisions, surgeries, um, conditions that require daily meds whatever where is your personal line drawn?

Zia

Well I feel like first of all and I hate to say this because you love your animals but the first line is cost. Mm-hmm because I and I hate to say that not that their their life isn't important but if you can't afford it how are you gonna do it? You know um and it's very expensive. We had one puppy uh she had liver shunts and she did not get her first little menstrual cycle because of this and it went through she was only a year old and she she was dying and they said oh yeah you could take her home and we were actually in Florida my my mom Joyce and my daughter were here with her and um they were like you could take her home and give her this anti-seizure medicine every day but you're gonna have to pick her up and put her outside to go to the bathroom because she won't be able to walk well first of all what kind of life is that for her she's not gonna be able to play with toys or she's just gonna lay in a bed all day that's terrible um to look at the sadness on her face like every day. Come on. So yeah so we decided to put her down um and um the problem was to get her ashes because we wanted her to be separately cremated um it was like three thousand dollars yeah to get her plus whatever you know it was like three thousand dollars with what they did and the cremation right so it's like did we want her back? Yes we wanted her back so we paid the medical bill and then we had to wait to get her ashes because I could pay three thousand dollars at that point to get my dog back. Yes. So you know so yeah it's all those little things that a lot has to do with money. It's yeah such a money game.

Heather

Yeah I I 100% agree um during COVID we had a dog and she got sick during COVID and um I took her to the vet and I well that's not true. I tried to get her into my vet but my vet wasn't doing emergencies because it was COVID. COVID right um so I could schedule an appointment and their next vet appointment was scheduled like three weeks out and I'm like no she's sick today. So I took her to the emergency vet which everybody knows is $400 to walk in.

Zia

Yeah.

Heather

And so I took her to the emergency vet and basically the emergency vet was like we can do one of two things. We can let her be comfortable for the weekend and you can say goodbye or we can do it today. Those are your choices and because I told them I'm like look I I I'm not working I mean it was COVID so everything was weird. And um so we ended up letting her be the most spoiled dog in the world for the weekend and we brought her back the following week and we said goodbye to her and she's sitting at home on Eliza's TV right now. Yeah um because we did the same thing we paid the actually the emergency vet was very nice they didn't charge us for the visit she just charged us um or I'm sorry she didn't charge us for her time she just charged us for the visit and the medications okay so the vet was like it's because it's COVID she's like I'm not charging anybody who's having a situation like this she's like I can't yeah um so um yeah um I never asked Allie what their plans were um but I would have supported her in anything that she chose absolutely because it's a different scenario for everybody. Absolutely her her and her and Lily her shepherd go way back. I mean she rescued Lily that was her first rescue. And it's it's different when it's that kind of an animal but um but no I'm I'm with you the first question is the money and the and the and the life right right what if I can't afford it or almost afford it what kind of life are they gonna have anyway absolutely yeah if if they're gonna be painful and I'm gonna have to give them pain meds daily oh my God is that worth it no no I don't so I don't know yeah so sad. I mean just to satisfy your own needs that's selfish dog yeah yep very well wait a minute that brings us back to our generation of manners true so that is true but but that that to me becomes a very selfish moment.

Zia

Yep absolutely beneficial for the dog like you gotta make them happy.

Heather

Yeah but luckily Ali said she sent me pictures of her this week and the x-rays came back she did not tear her ACL it was just a bad sprain and Lily is starting they're trying very hard now to keep her calm yeah so that means she's feeling better so I'm very happy about that.

Zia

When uh when Charlie was little she sprained her tail I know she whacked that tail so hard around when she was a pu I mean she still does it but she learned her lesson and she was just such a happy happy puppy yeah and she was running around back and forth all of a sudden she I think it was like either the edge of the uh door frame or the door and we just heard you know like that high pitched cry and she was just put her tail down and we were like what's the matter sweetheart what's the matter and so we're checking and she was like looking at her tail like this really hurts. So it got swollen so we took her you know to the vet and so like she literally sprained her tail and she couldn't pick it up for like months like you couldn't pick up the tail and I was just like who has a dog that sprains their fucking tail me yep too happy just too happy I'm too happy that's so funny. You know Charlie she's very happy puppy I mean she's gonna be seven this year but she's very happy puppy. She's a puppy yeah yeah she's it's so funny because one thing she hates is if I do an accent a certain accent she hates this one circuit certain accent I do and also she hates when I do the line from uh Conair where he's reading the note from the child and I go my name is Charlie and I'm six years old I'm gonna see my daddy on July 14th she just is like shut up lady I can't take it yeah she just hates it so well she is Charlie and she is six years old yep yep absolutely and she's just like I hate that shut up lady yep epic all right yep you want to do the last one um five minutes this yeah this is from Kate and um she wants to know what animal if you were allowed to have as a pet what animal would you want it to be like any I guess any animal and why why would you want it to be that animal so Rich says my answer was supposed to be a raccoon

Dream Pets And Falconry Field Trip

Zia

because they're so smart and cool and cute.

Heather

Oh that would be Michael's yeah huh that would be Michael's he loves raccoons that would be Rich yeah yeah um mine would be a tiger I love love love tigers that's why you love me I'm the year of the tiger see I'll just keep you as my pet. Okay there you go um no tigers they're they're just they're just so beautiful I mean they're they're beautiful and they're loyal I mean as odd as that sounds they are loyal yep but thank you no joke and the crazy people who make very weird accents.

Zia

Yes yes um I guess I would have two so one would be a monkey I would love to have a pet monkey uh I wanted one since I was like little and that's why I have my little puppet um and a panda I would love to have a panda oh yeah pandas are adorable yeah yeah so a panda I mean they always have those reels of why they even exist because they they don't defend themselves very well. They're falling out of trees and rolling you know rolling and yeah and Alex and I have always collected pandas and um I have my panda tattoo for him and it's like they're just like a big bear and we we went to actually see them one time um I think it was in Washington um they had the pandas. So we we took Alex and the kids to the zoo and we didn't tell Alex that there had pandas there. We just went and he sees like the little statue and he's like oh that's a panda and we're like yeah that's a panda statue. So we went into the little area where they could see them and he about like cried because he's like he never saw real panda and it was just we watched the panda cam all the time and yeah and um and actually the panda cam that we used to watch was the one from the zoo. Oh that's funny you yeah and I I feel like they were going to have babies or something and that's why we kept watching it because they were gonna have to probably because that makes sense because that was the first time they had one get pregnant in a zoo in captivity. Yep so he was there and here comes this little panda out you know and he's ripping the bamboo and Alex was just in shock that this thing was real in front of him and it was just like I still can picture his little face being like oh my god I'm so excited it's a real panda yep that's funny yep so I guess I if I had two my second one would be an eagle oh well Zach would be right up there with you.

Heather

I would be an eagle or I wouldn't be I would have an eagle have an eagle yeah if I could have if I could have the tiger and an eagle I think my life would be complete yeah I would love to learn how to do the Falcon tree falcon there's a place in there's a place we can do it.

Zia

There's a place in Vermont really yes oh I would love that I love my falcons so all right yeah you know me I'm hitting the Google here we go we got a lot of trips man a lot of trips came out of this uh podcast for you and I yeah I I love my falcons I do follow quite a few um things on Instagram for birds um I do follow I think it's Ro on Instagram okay um and I follow this one man that talks about all of the different birds um which I do believe he's in Australia um I feel like yeah and he talks about owls and all those like different birds how they mimic sounds and stuff he's very educational I like to follow educational things on Instagram so you ready for this?

Heather

Yep I found a falcon tree place in Woodstock Vermont which is two hours and 20 minutes from your house and an hour and 50 minutes from my house oh cool and it's where we actually get to play with them awesome we'll have to do it so all right got plans we're getting we're getting plans from this uh podcast seriously all right but but yeah nightshade we have we will be nightshade is our first one we've been waiting for that yes but all right all right i will wrap us up here I guess or we will wrap us up here I don't know what the I was okay she's gonna wrap us up I'm gonna wrap us up and tie a bo no no we gotta go out to the bees as soon as they start to get active we got to go out there and put the cams out the the new secret webcam so we can love it hook it up when I get that I'll link it to you so you can see it and eventually we'll get it out to everybody. Absolutely absolutely but oh shout out to Charlie he's getting baptized today or this weekend yay all the Charlies I love all the Charlies yep but on that note we love you guys thank you so much for listening 800 more than 800 now more than 800 thank you and six months in people yeah yeah we're amazing

Bee Cams, Shout Outs, And Goodbye

Heather

have a great weekend guys bye love yes bye

Head Shot

Heather Dominelli

Host
Head Shot

Zia Markowski

Host