Do We Love... Using our Brains?

The moment something goes wrong, our brains beg for control. Power goes out mid-show, plans get thrown off, a coworker announces a big change, and suddenly you can feel your body flip into fight-or-flight before you even decide what you think. We talk honestly about that switch, what anxiety feels like in real time, and the difference between being angry and being stuck. Sometimes the healthiest answer is brutal and freeing: you cannot fix it, so you have to accept it and choose your next move anyway. 

From there, we get into the messy middle of daily life. What do you do with information you never asked for, especially at work where everyone treats you like the problem solver? How do you set boundaries without losing your humor or your sanity? We share stories that are funny, blunt, and painfully relatable, then zoom out to what those moments teach us about emotional regulation, resilience, and letting go of problems that are not ours to carry. 

We also swap summer updates and the surprising ways hobbies and community help with mental health. Square dancing turns into a whole world of levels, clubs, and learning curves, plus one of the most jaw-dropping moments: watching a blind dancer absolutely dominate the floor. Add in beach trips, family memories, travel planning for Iceland and a solar eclipse, and the reality of medical uncertainty, and you get a full picture of how we keep moving even when life is unpredictable. We close with a practical note on fidgets for anxiety and why they can help your nervous system stay grounded. 

If any of this hits home, listen through, then subscribe so you do not miss what comes next, share the episode with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review to help more people find the show. What is one thing you are ready to stop fighting this week?

Dr Teeth was far ahead of his time artistically.

Transcript

Singing, Summer Break, And Life Updates

Heather 0:20

Hey, what's up? I'm singing over here. She said, let's do it.

Zia 0:26

So I was like, let's do it.

Heather 0:29

Funky comedy. Oh, let's go through all of them. We could do some good songs. I've been singing. I was doing the what is it, the Jeopardy theme a little bit ago. Right, right. You had to wait for me. You were doing that. But everybody, today is episode 31. 31. Oh my goodness. We're in the 30s. Ay, ay, ay. Today's topic. No, title. Yeah. You gonna be one of the days. Yeah. Well, goes with our title. Do we love using our brains? I I would like to some days. Should we use our brains? That sounds like the bigger question. Yes, yes, yes. You don't need to use your brain for the next three months. Oh, I am so excited. I am done with school. Yes, yes. Yes, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Thank you. All right, thank you. That was just going. I don't know how long that is.

Zia 1:33

Thank you.

Heather 1:33

Thank you.

Zia 1:34

Yep.

Heather 1:35

Yay, Zia. Yeah. So with your summer. You don't do you work in the summer? Do you sit on your hiny? Do you do house projects? All three. Oh, that sounds like fun. You sit on your hiney while doing house projects and work. Yes. So we gotta throw Charlie in there because Charlie is so excited as we uh we knew the day I came home from the half day, she was so excited. She was. Yep. She just kept slamming her head on me like I got my mommy. Jersey was adorable. I don't know what she thought she was doing, but she was she just knew. She just knew. She was all over whatever she was all over. Yep. Yep. She hopped up on my chair. I had like a quarter of my seat, and she was just like, Ma mama is mine. Thank you very much. Yep. Yeah. Um, yeah, so I mean I have a few house projects I want to do. Um, I have touch-up paint, so I want to do some touch-up paint for my uh kitchen. Yeah. Uh last year and the last year was uh was it last year or the year before I did my whole kitchen floor, remember? Yeah, I started it during a Christmas. Oh my god, that one little piece bothering me? Absolutely. Oh um, yeah, so I definitely uh I sit on my butt until I have something to do, whether it's a house project or a little trip. So yeah, I kind of do everything like that. I can go in. Um, I do have time that I can go in. Um, I will probably be involved in a few interviews for people in our building, but uh that would be a work of what you speak, yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, um and if she listens, she knows what I'm talking about. Well, actually, let's just jump there because I heard a rumor. You heard a rumor. I saw a rumor on Facebook, yeah, yeah, yeah. So not only did I hear the rumor, but I saw the rumors. Yeah, and the rumor's true.

The Rumor Mill And A Goodbye

Heather 3:43

My one of our one of our office besties is not going to be with us uh next year, and I'm heartbroken but happy for her. Yeah, which her Facebook page was was vague but clear. Okay, got it. She uh is no longer doing her second job. Okay, okay. So I know the rumor mill, so I know what that meant. So I'm so excited for her. I am so excited for her. You know, I'm not so excited for you. No, I it was funny because I gave her a hug after she told all of us, and Todd said to me, let go of her, Zia, let go of her. Oh my god. I had like hung fu grip, and I was like, I don't know if I can let you go. That's right. Yeah. But yes. Young families need to do what they need to do at the time they need to do them. So very now my question is do the great big cubby walls go back up? All depends who we hire. All depends. That wasn't my idea, but hey, I will put them around my cubicle too. If you have to. If I have to. Yep. Yep. So we'll see. But you know, um, Chrissy and I kind of gazed at each other very quickly. Do you hear the birds? No. You can't hear that? No, I didn't. I have my hold on. I gotta I don't know how to mute it. There it goes. Aww. Sorry. I had my YouTube channel watching the babies waiting for you. Funny. And all of there's a bird in the bee yard eating. That's great. In the dead bees, but you know what?

Zia 5:42

That's okay.

Heather 5:43

Hey, take

Bee Yard Nerves And Electric Fences

Heather 5:44

them away. It's her food. Take them away, and it's less work for someone else to do. Then I don't have to worry about the scurriers coming in and eating them through the electric fence. Yeah. I had to go in the bee yard yesterday and I was so scared it was raining. And I was like, I don't know how to turn off. It had just stopped raining. Oh man. But I had to go figure out Dorothy. Yes, absolutely did. She's been having all her issues. Yeah. Um so, and it was supposed to rain on and off all day, and the afternoon was supposed to be thunderstorms. Right. So the minute it stopped raining in the morning, I ran out there and tried to get in, and then I got to the electric fence, and I'm like, I don't want to touch it. Yeah. I don't want to touch it. I was fine. I didn't get I didn't get zapped, but yeah, yeah. But so along with our um losing of a co-worker in the building, um we had our topic that said, you know, what is meant for you? Like,

Accepting What You Cannot Fix

Heather 6:50

how do you feel about that? Like doing what's right for you, or what's easy. Um, and what are like, what are you gonna do about it when there's like nothing you can do about it? Like, so you have an example of like uh the power goes out. Let's just use a simple example, right? Um, power goes out, you're watching a show, you're pissed it went out, you can't finish your show right at that time. What can you do about it? You can't go out and fix the fucking pole. So, what are you gonna do about it? You gotta accept it. You've got to climb up and put on a new transformer, right? You don't even know where the problem happened. You know, can you fix it at that moment? No. What are you gonna do about it? How do you feel about that? Um, so using that example. Yeah. I mean, that's a simple example to what we were talking about. Yeah, right, right, right, right. But I I like that example because it it is the same, it is the very generic concept of what you were asking. So, my opinion, the way I would handle that is, is I would say a couple of explicit. I would wait a minute staring at the dark the dark screen of the TV. Absolutely. Wait to see, does it blink, does it not blink, what are we doing? Yep. Then I'll say a couple more explicit and then go shut off uh light switches because that's all you can do. You can't turn off the TV or the computers or whatever because they're doing whatever they're doing. And then I have my phone andor my Kindle and do I mean if the power's off for more than a while, we have um battery-operated AMFM radio. Um, we have a bunch of power of uh power bricks, yeah, but we also have a generator. No, we don't have a generator, we have a solar panel, a single solar panel. It's a portable solar panel, it's made for like camping. Yeah, and the battery can sustain like the fridge. Okay, yes, like we have a little generator that does. Well, it's not really a generator, it's just the battery bank. Um and Rich also has the um travel star link.

Zia 9:11

Yep, yeah.

Heather 9:13

So we have Wi-Fi. Yep. So we'll have the Wi-Fi for our phones or our laptops until they die, and so I mean, we're not gonna be totally dead out here, but but we'll have a little bit. So but my dad has a generac, so as soon as his power goes off, it goes on. Yeah, yeah, but um, yeah, like you know, real life situations, you know, something happens and you're kind of sometimes that can make you stand still, like just in your thoughts, or you get frustrated and you're just stuck in that angry moment uh for a while. Or right. I mean, I mean it turns out fight or flight. Like you have to your brain starts telling me, Am I fighting? Am I fighting? What am I gonna do? And in that moment, you're paralyzed. Yep, and I think at this moment in my life, there are a few small things um that I do I would get very frustrated about with that. But um, at the moment, I feel like a a lot of things that uh have happened like that at this moment. I'm just kind of like in that mode of this age, being like, eh, it's gonna figure its way out. It's gonna happen. Whatever I'm saying. I wish I could say that. I wish I could say that. I'm getting tired. Yeah. And a year and a half ago, I would have said the same thing. Yeah. But now that everything is different for me, um you gotta readjust. Yeah, I'm I'm not to that point right now. Yeah. Um I will flight or fight. Yeah. Or both. Yep. Yep. Um, but my anxiety is very sketchy right now. Yeah. Well, new environment, new situations, new doctors, new whatever. That's that's not um secure for you right now. Right. So my anxiety is out of control right now. So right now I'm I right now I think I'm just in the position of I'm so sick of stupid people, um so sick of stupid situations that I am I literally like I will get angry at certain things, but they're not the things that I used to get angry about. Right. Um, and now I'm just kind of like, you'll fuck yourself. It's okay. Pretty much. Pretty much. Kind of like when people wish they could take part in joining a sporting event when they have no business doing that. You're just gonna do it and be done.

Zia 12:07

Yeah.

Heather 12:08

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Eventually it'll just be. Yes. There's just like life little things that like you can't control. Um, you do your best and you can't control them. Um, and then you just gotta either keep doing what you're doing or you know, move on. So um that's it. Yeah. That brings up another another topic, another thought process for me, though. What? What did you just do? Oh, I was spraying something nice to smell in my room. Oh, I was like, what did you do? I just saw your arm. Are you doing ballet? And doing doing ballet. Practicing for the bolts on Monday. Oh my god, we have to figure out how to make these things so people watch us because oh my god. Stop it. Anyway, oh it smells so much fun. That's our goal this summer. Summer goals. Yes, yes. Start doing these live. Um summertime. I don't know, I'm all singing today. I don't know what's happening. Hell. I know. You know what I mean? Okay, go ahead. What do you do with information that you don't necessarily? Somebody gives you some information. For example, I'll I'll use you as an example. Sure. You're standing there in the bus port one day, and some

Too Much Information And Boundaries

Heather 13:38

little girl comes up to you and says, Miss Z, I got a poop. What do you what do you do with that? Laugh your ass off.

Zia 13:48

No, it's joking.

Heather 13:49

You don't want that information. What do you do? Absolutely. There's way too if too much information that I am giving it given in a course of a day that I do not freaking need. I don't need to hear shit that I hear, literally shit. I don't need to hear shit that I hear every day. Um I sometimes I have too much information given to me. Um that I either stand there and go, what the fuck did I just hear? Or I say I I don't I can't solve that for you. I don't know why you're telling me when I am not the person that can solve that. Um most of the time I can solve things. I I am the problem solver in the building, but I go around putting out little fires everywhere. Um, adults and children. Yeah. But there are times adults more than children, as sad as that is. That is true. And I actually had a coworker thank me for that. Um that I deal with a lot of adult things that I necessarily don't need to deal with. And I appreciated her acknowledging that um there's a lot of strong personalities that I deal with on the course of one day, and I deal with them all. Um, but yeah, sometimes why do I laugh when people say they're scared of you? I'm like, I don't know. First of all, they ask me if I'm scared of you, and I'm like, what am I scared of? Yeah, it's not gonna hurt me. People are scared of you because you're with me. I was told that I was told that when I worked there.

Zia 15:46

Can I just say that the best line I ever heard, and we won't say what it was pertaining to, but the best line I still remember that Rich asked you was, Did you take a shit on this lady's desk? Oh my gosh!

Heather 16:07

Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. I have kept that. Thank you, Rich. Thank you, Rich. I have kept that little gem in my head to make me laugh. Oh my god, I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. Um, you know, you know, I remember the person who every time I would come and sub while I was still a bus driver, yeah, yeah. You didn't know who I was. No. No matter how many times I came in that. No matter how. No, name, face, nothing. Like but but the funnier part is, is you had to be buzzed in the building. Right, right. So no lie. I just told you who I was. And and you literally went to the building. I am telling you, with a straight face, because she meant it. Heather looked at Rich and said, No, I'm friends with Zia. I am friends with Zia. She does not this person does not like me for that reason. And for that reason alone, I would always ask this person how they were doing today and how was their weekend, and I literally intended to defend them and watch them turn me down every day for two years. Yep, yep, yeah, that was fun. But I mean, that little gem just stays in my head, rent-free. Rent free. Thanks, Rich. I love it. It stays in my head when I need a good laugh. Seriously. Yeah. I forgot all about him saying that actually. Yeah, because we were talking about something that had happened. We were sitting in, we were sitting in Ravenswood. Yep, we were talking, and we just kind of like we're bringing up a scenario, and Rich was like, he didn't know what we were really gonna talk about, like the ramifications of being my friend. You you have to be disowned by certain people because of that. So yeah, you know, I I thank the people that are my friends, which is like three people that are my friends. One of you. Oh, one of you I thank you. You have to be my friend. Okay, we'll put the kids there too. But I mean, even the kids like wait, I want to double digits. Right. Oh, I got double digits double. Eliza's not your friend because she's not answering you when you text her. So take Eliza away. That is true. I'm so sad. She declined me. Oh so like I'm gonna get yelled at for that later. Yeah, it's so true because like even poor Zachariah, he was like a teenager and he had like a teenage job, you know, and he was in a store and some lady came up to him and was just like, are you Zia's son? And my kids are very smart when they're asked that question, they go, Why? It could go either way. Why? You don't know why. Oh no, no, I just really I I love your mom. Like, are you? And he's like, Oh yes, yes, love. What drugs do you take? Yeah. Nobody likes my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like I always say to Alex, I'm like, when he's at work, I'm like, oh, you're working there. Tell them you're and I'm your mom. And he's like, no, no, no, I don't I don't know how that's gonna go. I remember when Zachariah came out to my bus to bring somebody. Yes, yes, and he was like, because this was right at the time when we started being friends, and he was like, Hi, how are you? And I'm like, fine. I'm like, why are you talking to me? Just drop the kid and go. Yeah, and then later you're like, oh, then like the next day you were like, Oh, that was my son, and I'm like, oh, he's so cool. Uh-huh. That's crazy. And then we went out. Yeah, and then and then we went out together that next day to see you. Yeah. To see me.

Zia 20:25

Yeah, because I was like, I don't know who you are.

Heather 20:27

And then I'm pretty sure people complained that you and I and him were talking too long. Hold on, look at my watch. Look at my watch. Look at my watch. Do you remember the time I caught the person sleeping? Yes. That was complaining. You know what? Oh man, gems, man. Gems in my home. Little gems. Yep. You know what? You gotta do it. Oh my god. Too funny. All right. So what else we got? What else we got? I heard. I heard a rumor. No, just joking. Um, so you heard the rumor because I told you, goofball. Yeah, yeah. So square dancing. I know you and Rich do that. So what's an update? Give me some updates. We are one of the youngest couples ever to square dance, I think, unless you're in eighth grade back in the 80s and you had to do it at school

Square Dancing Levels And New Clubs

Heather 21:23

in the school gym with the record player. Love it. Didn't you do that? Michael, yeah, Michael actually asked me to square dance with him. Yeah. So he heard it. Do you want me to find your square dancing club out there? No, thank you. No, thank you. I can do it. There's an app. No, no, thank you. There isn't. People who are 900 years old have apps. Oh my god. I love it. And then they come to you and we're like, how do you make it work? I'm like, Aww. Yeah, no, he actually asked me, yeah, to square dance. So that's so cute. But um, so we've been we finished the so there's different levels of square dancing, and when you go to a dance, the dances are geared toward certain levels for each dance. Okay, yeah. So you could be mainstream, you could be plus, you could be um like plus one or it's A or plus A or plus B or some I mean I don't I don't know I'm not that high. Yeah Um but Rich and I finished our mainstream lessons Um just now we just finished them recently and we saw there was a club that was doing a summer program that was gonna do a very short um plus program So I reached out and I'm like, look, we just finished doing mainstream, you know, are we qualified for this? And he's like he responded, he's like, Yeah, he's like you'll be fine. He's like, it'll be a lot to learn, but he's like, don't worry about it. You know, it's it's just a quick lesson, you don't need to worry. So we're like, all right, so then we found because our club does not do anything over the summer. We stop in May and we start back up in the middle of September. Um so our club is a very small club for the area. Um, so we were like awesome. So we start going to this plus class, and we're both like, okay, but now we're learning all this new stuff. I'm forgetting some of the old stuff that we're supposed to know. Yeah, so I start researching and I find like literally I found it on Thursday that they were starting this other club, was starting a um mainstream class on Monday. So I'm like, I email and I'm like, hey, we just finished a mainstream, but we don't want to forget over the summer. Can we come? And he responded right away and he was like, Bring it. So we get there and we start dancing, and they're treating us like we didn't know what we were doing, which is fine because it was the start of a class. And so it's been four weeks, three weeks since we've been going. And we got an email this week after class on Monday, and they're like, We do a plus class right after the mainstream class. Why don't you stay for that? And we're like, wow, did we just get asked to like stay with this club and do stuff? So now we're like torn because apparently it is okay to belong to multiple clubs. Whatever, dude. But so apparently it is okay. So now it looks like we're gonna be part of like four clubs because we're always gonna be part of our club that we started with. Then we have this summer club that's just doing the plus, then we have this other club that's doing the mainstream review for us and the plus, and then we were already asked to join another club in September with some people we made friends with. So we already told them, yes, we're gonna join that club because that's actually the club we wanted to join when we looked into square dancing. So we were excited that that club is gonna let us join that one. So we're gonna be part of four clubs now. Hey, you know, more the merrier dancers, more the merrier, yeah. And totally off subject, but not yeah, yeah, at this class, the the plus class, the like high-tech, like super intense plus class that we're doing, it's in Anchester, and there's a blind woman there, and she square dances A as a male or a female, so she can do the boy parts or the girl parts. And she dances circles around everybody, and her guide dog just sits over in the corner. She walks in, she puts him on a little bed over in the corner. He just lays there and just lays there the whole time. She's dancing. Yeah, but this blind lady is like dancing circles around us. I've gotta say, props to her. That's amazing. I believe she sees light and dark. I don't think she's like dark blind. I think she can tell the difference of light and dark because she knows when she enters rooms. Okay. So, and I mean, I don't know. How do you how do you square dance blind? Well, be the the beat, you know what you're doing, just as long as you have somebody there, you can get yourself around because they'll guide you. Um, yeah. She was Rich's partner the other day. Yeah. She was the so because Rich and I are a couple, that he splits us up so we don't dance together. Because it's easier to not, it's easier for me to have a strong man. Because, like you said, if I start to do something wrong, they'll still guide you. So Rich and I can't do that to each other. But this lady was Rich's partner. Oh, the other age. So yeah, and as she said to him when they got together, um, when she walked up to him, Rich told me afterwards, he's like, Yeah, she asked me if I wanted to be the male or the female. Because sometimes men have to be females too. You know, I mean, if you're short men or women, yeah, and um he's like, Yeah, he was like, I don't know, plus, let alone how to do it as a female. And she goes, Oh, you're one of the new people. And he goes, Yeah. And she goes, Okay. So she stayed the female. And actually that night she was all female, she didn't do any male parts, but but yeah, she like bounces back and forth, male or female. And that's awesome. She just probably loves it and feels the rhythm in her. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm just I know I started I when I was younger, I had a dance that I had to do for dance competition, and I started it out blindfolded. So you have to know exactly where you are, how many, how many leg lengths if you're on the floor around you, right? So yeah, I but I did have a dance where I was actually standing and I started it blindfolded, went with the music. I can't imagine I can't remember what it was, but you know, my mother had me do all crazy things like Hawaiian dancing. I did Hawaiian dancing. You did the I did the real whole with the to, you know, say the words with your hands and tell the story. Yes, I had to do that. Um I don't buy you to see a little. I'll just go to your house. You do not, you do not. Um, but yeah, my mom had a lot of girls that did um that. So um she had the crazy idea. Guess what you're doing? No one's doing it. You're gonna do it. Uh, so we did that, yeah. Uh tap dancing, of course, you know, but yeah, it was very hard because yes, you you can, you know, you lose one sense, you heighten the others, they always say, but to be aware of don't fall off the goddamn stage while you're blindfolded went in my head quite a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, funny story, my cousin and I um actually were in a Daggio team at one point. Um they put a lie, I don't know what that is. Um, they you dance

Dance Memories, Talent Shows, And Chaos

Heather 29:35

with a partner, but it's like picking up and swinging around, like very high, high intense dancing. Yep. Apparently. Um, so they at the time the whole stage practicing was clear. And the day that we had to dance on the stage and do our return our routine, they had a table in the back of the stage. Like one of those like fold-out tables, those long ones. Yeah. They put a they put a thing over it. I don't know why it was there. Nobody in the talent show needed that table and they put it there. And we were like, oh my god, he has to swing me around. How do I I'm gonna hit my head? I'm gonna hit my head. If he doesn't pay attention, I'm gonna hit my head. So he had to have the inkling of moving forward on the stage at that point to swing me around and not hit this table in the back of the stage. You were not blindfolded for this part though. Not no, no, I was just I wish I was. I actually wish I was.

Zia 30:52

I actually wish I was freaking blindfolded for that shit.

Heather 30:57

Because yeah, we fought we fought a lot, but it was like he he had dropped me on my head once um learning this stuff. Um because you know, you're nervous, your your hands are sweaty, you're nervous, you've got the the whole life of somebody in your hands picking them up, throwing them down, you know, uh grabbing onto one ankle and one hand. I actually have pictures on my mom's memorial page. I'll have to go look at us. Yep. And it's a lot for I mean, he was 13 and I was eight, seven or eight. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So you're you're doing this like high intense adult moves. And guess what my mother in a in our Catholic school had us dance to? Just take a take a gander of what song my mom made us dance to in Catholic school. The two the two worst kids. I mean, there was maybe five other worst kids in this school. That were okay. After we figure this out, remind me to tell you about my concert um chorus, nine ninth grade chorus? Chorus. Fine. Yep. Um, so Catholic, 80s, let's go with I don't know, ACDC something. Oh god, I wish. No, no. My mother made us dance to devil woman. She is a devil woman. Yep. Yep. Yep. That is what we danced to and came out with. So I pretend I'm a soprano, but I'm truly an alto. Okay. But I fake soprano well. Um, but when it came to our chorus final, we had to sing a verse of a song. And we had like two weeks to prep for it. It's not like it's not like it was anything dramatic. But this the chorus director insisted that I sing the song from a from a musical because he asked what I wanted, and I said I I love musicals. So he said, Okay, let me pick the best alto part that has the theme that gives you the soprano edge you like, but it's in alto. Okay, perfect. I'll just let you guess. I'll let you be that. It was Rogers and Hammerstein. Would you like me to narrow down the play for you? Yes, please. Oklahoma. Oh, Jesus, I have oh god. I I don't think I know too many songs. I'm in a terrible fix. I always think, come on, let's go, just when I ought to say NYX. So I had to sing that in front of our ninth grade class, our entire class. I love it. I love that for you. I did not love that for me. Because so many people are like, why'd you pick that song? And I'm like, I didn't pick that song. He picked that song. He picked it, yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, um, my mom always wanted me to dance for my talent shows. And my dad was a singer, he was in a band, uh, Dad Pete, and um mom did the dancing, and I decided one time I was gonna sing without her knowing. Well, if you wanted to see the rays of lightning come down from God into my eyesight, it would have been the fact that I had on no dance gear walking out on stage for the talents portion of my career. I love that for dance. So I picked the song because I wanted to sing it for my mom. I I held I held this song in high regard for my mom. Okay. That was my thought. I told my dad Pete, and he was like, this is amazing, she's gonna love it. Everybody was like, Joyce is gonna love this. Yep. It's just there's no way Joyce could not love this, right? Because dedicated to the woman. Yep. I sang sweet child of mine. I don't even know what to say. If you saw, like, I don't know, any movie that they could have picture Ghostbusters when, you know, the girl's up on the top and she's the demon and she's going to kill the Ghostbusters, right? Yep, that was my mom. And I won. I won. Congratulations. But did you? But did I? But did I? And my dad kept saying my dad Pete kept saying, she sang the song for you. She wanted to sing this song for you. Wanted to do the song for you, dedicated to you. She feels the words are touching to you. To you. Yeah, no, I don't care. Didn't do the dance I choreographed, didn't do the dance. No dancing means equals Joyce Mad. So, yeah. Even though she used to sing on stage. Oh my goodness. Dear God. Dear God. You know what I mean? Definitely the uh uh corruption of my my my mother, Joyce. Yes, yeah, yes, yes. Gotta love them. Gotta love 'em. So my parents came out to New Hampshire last week. I love that. They came out, so Hampton Beach, which puts me in a tizzy all the time because they claim it's on

Beach Day Wins And Parking Pain

Heather 37:35

the Atlantic. It is not. It is in the Gulf of Maine. Got it. Okay, hang on. I gotta take a deep breath because I get very feisty about that. Anyway. Oh, seriously. Um they do this sand sculpting competition every year, and they bring in it's it looks like beach sand, but it's not. It's it's called flat sand. Okay. So it melts together easier. And sure it's not the kinetic sand. Sorry. No, so honestly, no, I they like have this pamphlet, and and I have the pamphlet. I'm looking as if I have it here. It's not, I know exactly where it is, but yeah, I can pretend to look around like it's here. Sure. Um, but it's it's flat sand that they make at a local quarry, and they put the sand sculptures together with um like framing structures sand and water, and then once it's done, then they spray a glue, okay, uh environmentally okay, obviously, glue on it. I want to know what glue is environmentally. It says in the pamphlet. I don't have the pamphlet. You'll have to tell me later. You'll have to tell me later. I love it. But um, but anyway, so my parents came out to watch that, and I I've never seen it. I've seen pictures of it, and I'm sure you've seen pictures of it on Facebook or whatever, instead of whatever. But Jersey does it too. Cool. Yes, but I've never seen it, and this was really, really interesting. I'm a little annoyed at the parking because you know, I'm one of those locals now, so I can go to the beach. Sounds so weird. I I don't ever call it the other word because it's not. Why would you? I I would actually, I think my my lungs or my throat fire. I would consider that the beach. It is the beach. So I can go to the beach, and typically it's you know, three or two or three dollars to park at the meter or you know, ten in the lot. It was thirty dollars to park. I'm like, what the hey, man? Yeah. I was like, this is like 90 bucks just to park for the weekend.

Zia 40:00

Yep, yep.

Heather 40:01

Heather's like, do you see the plate? Do you see the plate now? Yeah, local. Yeah, they didn't care. Terrible. That's terrible. But it was beautiful to see. That's it. It was very good to see. Worth the money you paid. Um yes, because Angela and I shared a hundred-ounce drink. A hundred ounce? What the fuck? What? Yes! What'd that come in? A tower. Stop it. Would you walk with it on the floor? No, it just went up from the table. Stop it. And they gave us a cup and you just put it under, you pulled the little nozzle and it filled up your cup and you drank. Oh my god. That means you both drank 50 ounces. That's amazing. No, Rich ended up with two. He drank two little glasses or two little cups, and we we we did drink about half of it. That's amazing. I'm proud of you guys. Ours was all Bacardi's, ours was all different rums. Theirs, the blue one was all like tequila's. Oh, God. God bless them. But they drank theirs down. It was two of them, and they drank it down. I don't know how long they were there. But but yeah, we wonder how their night was. I will, I will, um, I will send you a picture so that you can um Yes. So that you can see it. And you can post it. I'm okay with that. You can post it. That's amazing. I'll I'll I'll block out my mom and dad's face when I'm just being on social media. Yes, yes, I love it. That's awesome. Yeah, no, we uh yeah, Angela and I shared that. So I mean that day it was very worth it. I mean, did you even know what the day was after that drink? I do know I ate a funnel cake. Well, no, they don't call it funnel cakes, they call it fried dough out here. Like they do in New York, fried dough. I did eat fried dough after it. Zapoli. It's a zapoli. And fried, it's a funnel cake down the shore, and it's a zapoli everywhere else for me. This was weird. This was like a long oval blob. Yeah, it was it was gross looking, but I mean So a fried log. It was a fried, yes, it was a fried log with cinnamon sugar on it. Cinnamon sugar and powdered sugar on it. It was it was a weird couple, but yeah. I didn't really care. Just trying to accept all the things. Trying to accept all the things. Just just go with it, man. Just go with it. All right, before we dig ourselves any other holes. Yes, yes. You ready? Absolutely. I love it. So we put a secret one in here because we weren't sure what we were gonna do. And you wanna know, first of all, five-minute love time. Five minute love time. We can say our TikTok TikTok.

Pets Knowing You And Listener Picks

Heather 43:07

Five minute love time. TikTok, tick tock, tick-tock. Okay, you wanna know. Does your pet know you? Yes, yeah, Charlie knows you very well. Charlie knows me. Yeah. I think I think you're so you have Porthos with you there, but I feel like your other friend, I forget the name, but Briscoe. Briscoe knows you or wants to know you more than your your own dog. Yes, Briscoe is so loving. Briscoe. Yeah. But Briscoe's also kind of a whore because he'll love anybody who loves him. Oh, oh. But but he is with you a lot. He typically, he's not allowed down here when we record because he is known to just rando bark. But I guarantee you he is blocking the door so I can't get out of the basement. Yep. Yep. Um, and Dagny, of course, knows me. She actually's mad at me because she tried to come down here with me yesterday when I had. A VA uh video with VA. Yeah. And she kept stepping on the keyboard and I kind of just chucked her across the the she shut. That's funny. And she has really talked to me since. So she's a cat. She'll be mad at me for a day or so. Yeah. Yeah. Charlie, I call her my nurse, as you know, because if I am sick, she tends to me. She will sit there and she goes and gets Michael and says, Hey, mom needs something. Let's go. Yep. And I don't know if you saw it yet, but last week our question was your favorite saying. Yes, I did see it. Okay. And Michaela was late, which is fine. She's just got excuses. Yeah. She's allowed to be late. So I want to give her her shout out. Absolutely. She said, Your mom. Yeah, and I tease her all the time that she should have been an 80s kid. When she first came into this house and she started saying uh your mom, um, it became a huge thing in our house because I just appreciated that being an 80s kid that she says that. But do you know how many times she has literally meant your mom? And Zach took it the other way because she says it so much as your mom. I love it for her. Yeah. And it's like literally she has meant, like, where are you? You know, and he'll like text something and she'll be like, Your mom. I'm like, I'm with, like, who are you with your mom? And she's and he's like, okay, haha, funny. And she's like, no, literally, like, I'm with your mom. Right. So it's little things like that, but it's so funny. I told her she needed to be at heart an 80s kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Why don't we do um our listeners first and then we'll do ours? Yes, absolutely. Go ahead. You want to start? I'm gonna take Eliza. Um, okay, eating inside or out at restaurants, which would you prefer? I'm all about eating outside. Me too. And can I just say I have to give a shout out to Starr. She kidnapped me on Friday. Um, last uh last Friday. Yep, she kidnapped me. We went on an adventure and we went to an oddity store in Poughkeepsie. Awesome. And I didn't even know what direction we were going because I really have never been to Poughkeepsie other than for one pageant I did a long time ago when I was a kid. Okay. Um, and she kidnapped me and we went to this restaurant called on the water. It was called Shadows. Okay. And I will tag them. It was beautiful. Like outside, we were just chilled and relaxed. I'm not a wine drinker, but I am when Margaret orders it. Um so bad. She does. She does. She yells at me. I say, I try so hard not to say Margaret, but I do. Um, but yeah, um, and it's funny because I have so many pictures of of obviously I gave her the name Star, but um there's so many pictures I have, like I have a picture of her. I put star on her balloon. So it was like uh for her birthday. So like I pushed the star and I still yell. I didn't you know I yeah, I yell it more because of my grand. I gave her that name because of my grandma March. And she was Margaret, and that is the heartfelt on that. So for me to say that name sometimes, it's like a I don't know, a breath of fresh air in my brain to give me a break to say that word when I don't get to say it out loud anymore. Yeah, you know, so when it comes out, I'm so sorry. It is star because she is an artist and she's a pretty uh renowned artist. So I want to acknowledge that. So yes, but yes, totally outside. Um, it was beautiful. The boats were there, there was the bridge, the water, the air, the breeze. Ugh, it's the whole environment. A glass of wine I wouldn't normally have ordered. Beautiful. You had. So Nicole's summer plans, and this touches me because she's trying to soak up all the hugs she can get before her youngest just graduates high school. I see the pictures. College. Uh so we're going down in the middle of July for a dinner, uh, a luncheon for him, a celebration. Um, so I'm quite sure I'm gonna cry for him. Absolutely. Happy tears, happy tears. Yeah, of course, of course. And I keep telling her that they're not sad tears, they're happy tears because he's moving on. You did what you were supposed to. Yeah, you prepped him for college, and now he's going. And I think that's they always say that online, but it's so true that your whole life you're raising children to be independent and do things on their own and teach them all these things, and then when they actually have to go, you're like, No, you need me. Wait, you need me. Why don't you need me? I need you to need me. I know I'm going through that with Eliza now because you know she's starting to do like actual grown-up things, and yeah, and I'm I'm not gonna lie, I'm struggling. Um but that just means you're a good mommy. Yep, yep, you're a good mommy. You did the things you had to to make them an independent person, and now they can live their little lives. Yep. You wanna do Ali's?

Zia 50:24

I her summer plans. Yes, she's preparing for her baby's birth. I'm so excited.

Heather 50:34

We're excited for you. Cannot wait to see baby. She's having a other end of the spectrum of going away. Oh Nicole! Yeah, so we have Nicole saying go be grown, and Allie saying, come, let me take 100%.

Zia 50:56

Yeah, full circles, full circles.

Heather 50:59

Oh my god, that gives me chills.

Zia 51:01

See, see, I do that to you. I do that to you. See, I give you chills. You do. I love the chills you give me. See, I'm incentive. I'm incentive one at a time, sometimes.

Heather 51:18

Oh my goodness.

Zia 51:19

Sometimes on that note.

Heather 51:20

Jesus. What are your summer plans, um Zia? So I did receive news that I thought all my summer plans were going down the toilet. But now they're

Summer Plans, Surgery Uncertainty, And Iceland

Heather 51:34

untoileted. Yes. They're untoileted, yes. Um plunged them out of the toilet. I plunged them out of the fucking toilets. Um, so we had a little scare. Had a little scare that uh surgery for my hip might may have been during the summer. So I was trying to fit that in uh before and after plans, but now they're saying it might be September, October. So I have to figure that out because I've all I've for a person that has only taken four days off of work with no lunches really. Um, you know, it's hard for me to say I have to be out for a certain amount of time. But my summer plans. Yeah, so my summer plans uh are definitely to go see my cousin Barb first, which may be a new listen listener to us. Um little shout out, little shout out to my cousin there, my cousin Barb. Um join in the five-minute loves. Join, join. Um, so that's New Jersey. So actually, I may be recording while I'm there in the morning. Um I will be in Jersey recording for that on location, yes. Um, and then Pennsylvania is totally planned um for my dad in August. Um that's a definite date, um, just because I have to be there for something he has to do. Um, and then um I want to get to see you. Yes, yeah, yes, yes. So I know we gotta, we gotta pick, pick, pick. Yeah um, and I did I if you're heading this way, I was gonna mention this to you, but why not online? Um if you're headed this way at any point during the summer, maybe we can do a day trip to your nightshade and come back at night. Ooh. Ooh, okay, five talking full circles here. Yeah, that's a full circle. Yep. But I mean just uh I just did a whole full circle in my own. Oh, there you go. So I was just thinking about that last night after the dream I had that Heather and I were there and people didn't want us there. And ironically, I woke up ready to be and I didn't know why. I was ready to go. Yep, yeah. So, yeah. So um figured I'd bring that up too because of my lovely dream I had of being there. Yeah, let's let's talk about that offline to work stuff out. Absolutely. But I instantly came up with a uh a plan in my head. Okay, now what are your plans? So we all know I went to Florida early. Um, I had a friend who needed some girl time, so we kind of rearranged our typical mom-daughter trip. Um and and I went down to to talk with her and and and give her the love she needed, and I got a couple of days at the beach down in Florida. So that was awesome. Yeah. Um, Eliza's birthday, so is in this is in July, so I have to go in July for Eliza's birthday. Um, Dominic, um, Nicole's son, we're having his celebration in July. So we're going there. Right. So those are scheduled as day-ish trips, but I'm not sure that's why I'm thinking I might work something out there. But then in August, we are going to Iceland. I know, so excited for you. So um there is going to be a full total solar eclipse that crosses over, I think, Spain and Portugal and then up into Iceland and Greenland. Oh my god, and that's where Margaret's going. Star, sorry, Jesus, I did it again. No, she's going for my chemical romance. She's going to England for my chemical romance, and she's going to Portugal or Spain for No, I think she leaves, she leaves a little bit from now uh to do the one concert and then the next concert. So oh, okay. I was gonna say she's gonna be there in August. Wouldn't that be amazing if she was there? That would be cool. You know, she um, you know, hey, if my chem is listening, Jersey boys. That's right. And I have I have been posting her videos on all the history and uh archives that she has uh accumulated from them also. So you have so our we don't have many plans officially in Iceland yet, but we've scheduled a whale watching and puffin' tour. Oh yeah, I want pictures. I want pictures of the puffins. Definitely, definitely, definitely. Um, so we have um and that's all we've got. We've got the eclipse and the whale watching the puffin. Um, there's obviously a million other things we want to do, but we're trying not to pre-schedule because we don't want to be locked on a schedule schedule. Absolutely. Um, but the eclipse is on Wednesday, the 12th. So that's already scheduled. We can't change that. Love it. Yeah, so and then um You can't change the eclipse. No, I wish I could. Slackers. Slackers. I know. Shame on me. Um, and then you and I were talking if I was gonna come out and spend a weekend with you out there or midweek with you. So I've got New York as a question mark to go hang out with you. Um, and then I've got um, you're coming out to here, to New Hampshire. I've got my army buddy Danielle, is planning to come out, and my friend uh Rebecca, my from Jersey, my elementary school, we met in kindergarten. She is coming out, but she's gonna come out in September. She's gotta get her youngest off to college. Start it. Okay. Yep, her youngest is starting college. So she says once her youngest is in college and settled, it's basically the summer of her daughter.

Zia 58:05

Okay.

Heather 58:06

So once they're settled, she's like, I'm gonna come out and do a long weekend with me out here. So, and then this weekend we've got our oldest daughter, Ariel. Um, her they're coming out, her and her family are coming out this weekend. So we've got a bunch of people coming to New Hampshire. My parents came out. Um, and yeah, so we've got some some plans too. I love it. When I go to New Jersey this time, I think I'm going to have a serious conversation with my uh my Jackie. I always say my Jackie, just my Jackie. Your Jackie. Um, my Jackie. Um, because I really want to kidnap her. And I always tell her I want to kidnap her and bring her up here and show her my little life up here. Yeah. So um I think I'm gonna have a serious conversation as to how I can get her up here. I know she always is cons she has uh considered the train at one point. Um, but um I don't know that she wants to go to New York City then here because that's the way to get here from Jersey Transit. Right. So um that's a tough one. Uh but yeah, so either, you know, I just go up there, get her and kidnap her, and then return her. Uh that's fine for me to take a day trip or whatever. Yeah. I might have to pop out then too. Yeah, I do want to kidnap her and um take her here and show her my little world because it's important to me to show her that. Yeah. Yes. Yep. But yeah. Back to Iceland for a minute. Yes. We're gonna be traveling on a Friday, which means we may have to be able to do that. And we're not gonna get there until Saturday. Yep. Because it's an overnight travel. So that week before everybody, we're gonna have to either have our own five-minute loves or everybody's gonna have to put them up early. Yeah, very early. Yeah, because we're gonna have to record on Thursday that week, and it'll still be posted for Saturday, but we're gonna record early. And then the following week, maybe we can work something out and I can record in Iceland. Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah, oh my god, that would be great. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing to be able to record in Iceland. We might have to do that early in the week as well, but we'll figure all that out. But we'll remind everybody when it gets closer about the the five-minute loves coming early. Yeah, so yeah, I think we got a pretty full summer. And if we're not, if we if you see that we did not post a five-minute loves, you can DM us, you know. Uh put us put some out there if you need like something to be said, we'll go through it. Yeah. Um, get our full-hearted. Wait a minute, Nicole responded to something. Oh. Um, last week she answered something that we asked. Well, while you're looking that up, I just wanted to say something because you and I have been playing with fidgets, and I just wanted to do a little shout out to you. Oh I know totally not planned, but since my embarrassed now. Yeah. Um, yeah, you got your little Etsy shop set up. I do. And um, go

Anxiety Fidgets, Etsy Plug, And Closing

Heather 1:01:22

ahead, say your name because it's your product. It's called Anxiety Makes. Yeah, and it is on it is on Etsy. Um, I'm still working on getting it neat and organized, but I do um I've got about 10 or 15 fidgons on there. Um, and I uh I'm I'm making them because it's occurred, it has occurred to me that with all this anxiety that I've had lately that I need fidges. Um and I used to laugh at them at the school that kids had to play with fidgets, but now I understand it. And yeah, so if you need fidgets or want fidgets, um I've got a bunch that I use in my car. They're one-handed fidgets, and they're perfect for when you're stuck in that traffic jam and you just want to butt. Yeah, I'm sorry, I just uh that was a that was a very chilly thank you. I yes, I actually have my little egg you gave me on my desk. Oh yeah, there it is. Yes, yeah. I actually have to steal it away and put it on my desk because my grandkids like to take them separately. And um, of course, um my oldest, when I first got it, I was showing her how to put it into the egg, the second piece into the egg normally, um, which she was actually putting in in from the top of the egg. Okay. So when I showed her how to do it from the bottom, she took it back apart and looked me straight in the eye, put it in from the top, like it's not the only way, grandma. Not the only way. Wow, she knew that. Yeah. So I was like, all right, smart alec. Yep. We'll post a family. We'll post my Etsy shop up there. I can't find the post. Oh, well. Well, when I find it, I will I will share it. Uh but I I noticed it was a comment she made to our five minute loves last week. Okay. She responded the week before. I'm sorry, Nicole. I will find it. Last week my brain wasn't working because I lost five minute loves last week. And yeah, it's okay. I didn't have a fidget. It's okay. It's okay. What do you do with the information that you have and you can't do anything about it? There you go. Move on. Lost it. Can't do anything about it. Nope. It's there. We'll find it. I I can't look quickly. Yeah. No. Yes, we will. I'll I'll have you post my uh Etsy shop. Um, yeah, yeah, we'll tag you. Yeah. And uh I guess that's it, guys.

Zia 1:03:52

That's it, guys. Yep. Thanks for being with us.

Heather 1:03:54

Next week.

Zia 1:03:56

Absolutely.

Heather 1:03:57

Enjoy your we're all gonna be in a heat wave. So drink water, check out your leavers.

Zia 1:04:02

Yeah, yeah.

Heather 1:04:02

Most of the listening world, um, the northeast. I know Europe is in a heat wave right now. Yeah, Northeast is gonna be in a heat wave, so drink your water. Is it a heat wave or is it just summer came? No, it's gonna be in the 90s. Yeah, that's summer. I know. Yeah, but the nights are gonna be in the 80s.

Zia 1:04:23

So, okay. Yeah.

Heather 1:04:25

Yeah, we're not gonna get the cooler nights. It's it's no, it's it's it's a heat wave, but Europe is closing stuff. Like the Eiffel Tower closed early because it was too hot. Sounds amazing. Love that they closed that. Sorry, sorry, shut up, see, this is why we don't set a timer for our podcast. No, no. Um I have a I have a vacation trip planned for us. I know we're gonna get one in 27 or 28, or maybe 30. You know, 2020, 30. Yeah, yeah. 2030, not 2020. Yes. There's gonna be a full solar eclipse. The ring of fire, I should say, not the solar, not uh it's the ring of fire eclipse over Egypt. That's my heart. On that note, I'm gonna stop recording. She got me speechless. Bye.