Do We Love... Coordinating Trips

A canceled flight, a midnight drive through stormy skies, and an airport gate that keeps changing like it’s messing with us on purpose. We start with the week’s reality: we’re in different states, laughing at our failure to coordinate plans, and finding comfort in the tiny details, like why train whistles hit that specific pattern near a crossing. Then the conversation turns toward a bigger, messier question: what do you do when life doesn’t cooperate and you still have to function?

We talk social media pressure and the weird expectations placed on content creators, especially the demand to never change. For us, growth is the point, and boundaries are part of staying honest. If someone hates the new direction, they can scroll on, but nobody gets to shame you for evolving. That thread runs straight into travel mishaps and the ultimate “power through” moment: a Delta flight cancellation that forces a reroute to JFK, nonstop delays, and the kind of airport exhaustion that makes you question all your choices, even the good ones like an Iceland trip.

From there, we get real about mental health, panic attacks, and how “I’m fine” can be a coping mask. One of us shares an eye-opening asthma appointment where the test results don’t match how it feels, plus we cover upcoming hip surgery plans and the very human need to keep life moving. We close with parenting thoughts on kids leaving for college, co-ed dorm bathrooms, and the pride that comes with watching your kids become capable adults. If you like honest conversation about stress, resilience, travel chaos, asthma health, and parenting through big transitions, hit play, then subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave us a review.

Eyore is Appalled

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Trip Mix-Ups And Catching Up

Zia 0:14

Laughing historically. Oh my god. Too funny.

Heather 0:16

Good morning, everybody. Good morning. Episode 39.

Zia 0:23

Mm-hmm. 39. Love coordinating trips.

Heather 0:29

Apparently not.

Zia 0:30

We do not. We do not love this.

Heather 0:33

Because I am sitting in good old upstate New York. Where are you Z?

Zia 0:39

Pennsylvania.

Heather 0:40

What?

Zia 0:41

I know. What? My dad lands in Pennsylvania, so I am here visiting with him. So yeah.

Heather 0:49

So apparently we do not love coordinating trips because we cannot.

Zia 0:53

We did not coordinate.

Heather 0:55

Was super excited about coming to New York and Zia was super excited about leaving.

Zia 1:05

That's great. That is funny. That's funny.

Heather 1:10

So I am in New York because Allie, our one of our listeners, and a good friend of mine, is having her baby shower today.

Zia 1:20

Absolutely. Yay!

Heather 1:22

Yay! Um we had dinner last night together with them. It was Eliza Alec, me, Allie, and her husband Jeff.

Zia 1:32

Nice.

Heather 1:32

And we all uh had dinner here at Eliza's and played some games, and I got to see a little butt sticking out of her belly. It was adorable, and I touched it. She goes, I think their sister's butt. And I'm like, and I gave it a little tap, and it was a nice little hard oh, I love it. Amazing. That's adorable. I know. So I was super happy.

Zia 1:56

Yeah.

Heather 1:57

Went to bed super late, but that's okay.

Zia 2:02

That's what happens when you visit. Actually, I've been going to bed early. So yes. Yes, we swapped. I've been doing the early shift. You've been doing the late shift.

Heather 2:11

See how that goes? Apparently.

Zia 2:14

We are in alternate universes.

Heather 2:16

We really are.

Zia 2:17

This week.

Heather 2:18

Um, so where are you? You're in Pennsylvania.

Zia 2:21

I'm in Pennsylvania, yeah. And um a little bit away from Harrisburg, but um, yeah, we're we're here. My dad had to have a procedure, so we did that yesterday. Um, so that was an early morning. Um, but yeah, we definitely today's the lazy day. We get to do what we want. And um, I did bring my Charlie with me, so I have a little companion.

Heather 2:42

I heard her barking when we were prepping here. Yeah.

Zia 2:48

Yeah, he he does have uh two dogs also, but um, they're much quieter than Charlie. You know, she she hears something, she's like, excuse me, what is that? What's that? What's that? Yeah.

Heather 2:58

Um, you're not protecting your house very well. I must assist.

Zia 3:02

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna teach the other ones. I'm gonna teach them. Yeah. But you know what's funny? I had um I had sent a picture this morning to Heather, and um, right when I took Charlie out, there were deer out there, and um she could care less about the deer. Yep, didn't bark, didn't even she looked right at them too, and she's like, Oh, hello guys. So nice that you're out here. Are you going potty too? I'm going potty, yeah. Yeah, so weird. Didn't even care, didn't even bark.

Train Whistles And Small Fascinations

Heather 3:39

Subject change. Yeah, you're near a train track.

Zia 3:43

I am. You hear the train?

Heather 3:46

I do. Oh my gosh, I love train whistles.

Zia 3:50

Yeah, yeah. My dad loves trains, and this that was like perfect. And do you know why do you know why they do that? Why do they do that? Because there's a crossroad with no signs.

Heather 4:04

Oh, cheapers.

Zia 4:05

Yeah, so they when they hit a crossroad, my dad said they always worn it, it's two long, one short, and one long.

Heather 4:14

Oh, see now that I didn't know. I knew they always blew up.

Zia 4:16

Teaching you people. Look at me teaching you people.

Heather 4:19

Yeah, see, you're getting ready to go back to school.

Zia 4:21

You think trains are just, you know, riding around just honking horns. They have a purpose.

Social Media Pressure And Boundaries

Heather 4:30

So last week when we talked, I was still in Iceland and some time. Yeah. And when I got home, you and I had a really long conversation. Yeah. And you were telling me how the social media went. Yes. And you kind of put me to shame because you were playing music to all my posts. I'm like, dude, you set the bar too high. I like, what the hell are you doing?

Zia 4:58

If you know me, Zia's Life is music. I am themed. I'm themed a hundred percent in my lifetime. Yes, I have a theme song for everything. Yes.

Heather 5:08

Yeah, I just hope everybody doesn't expect the music shit to continue because I got you covered.

Zia 5:13

I got you covered.

Heather 5:15

I mean, I love my music, but I'm not about trying to Yeah, yeah.

Zia 5:20

I was just disappointed. Nobody wanted to talk to me, nobody wanted to challenge me, nobody was like, I'm DM and Zia.

Heather 5:28

Um, I wonder if they were scared because they made it such a big deal about you.

Zia 5:34

That I kick people off and I delete people and block people. I don't know. Sorry guys. What I should have done was had um Angela or Jade message you or six. Oh, you should have. Yeah, you should have. Actually, the funny part is the there are two women. I'm gonna tag them that we've been watching. We have been. And and so I'm gonna tag them, and one of them was talking about how you know their audience kind of you know pressures them. I'm like really jumping ahead in our little thing, but it kind of fit in. Yeah, kind of fit in. Um, and I was like, I'm gonna message her. Like, I I don't message people that often on the things, um, but if I really like them, then I, you know, join in. And she was saying, you know, there's a lot of pressures of being social media, um, content creators, uh, you know, people are like, Oh, you know, you did this before, why are you changing? Um, what are you doing? And it's not that we're we're changing because we're doing a lot of things too. We're growing.

Heather 6:38

And we're growing changing, our changes are following changes, right?

Zia 6:43

I mean, if you hear me and we're talking and you're like, oh my god, Z is mean. Well, you haven't been listening because Z is mean. I mean, we've been telling you that for beginning on this podcast. I think I just sent you a meme too that said, um, it was like two co-workers, and they were like, Um, uh, why is your friend so mean? And there's a sho she's not mean to me. I don't know what you're talking about. And Alina has actually said that at work to people. They're like, oh my god, I don't talk to Z. And she's like, I don't know, I don't get that version of her.

Heather 7:20

Yeah.

Zia 7:21

I don't I don't know.

Heather 7:22

I don't know what you're talking about.

Zia 7:23

Yeah, you must be doing something wrong.

Heather 7:25

But and it's funny because one day at school, I remember it was I don't even remember if it was before I was working in the school and I was still on the bus. Yeah. Or or what, but I remember I made like a snarky snipe comment to you. If no, it was when I was on the bus. Oh. And if I don't know if you remember, but one of the last years I was driving bus, the bus that was on my right, not okay, the other bus that shared my neighborhood, the other bus.

Zia 7:54

Sure.

Heather 7:54

Um, I made like a really snarky comment to you one day, and you turned around and just laughed and walked away. And she was like, She's gonna call Al on you. And I'm like, and I'm like, letter. Because I knew you weren't, but I was like, Because it was something like you couldn't help me with the kid, I was having a problem with like there's nothing I could do about it.

Zia 8:13

Yeah, walked away.

Heather 8:14

But you walked away because you had something else you had to do. Yes, and when you walked away, I was like, Well, or whatever I said.

Zia 8:21

I don't even remember what I said, I just remember her comment being I do remember you saying something, and I were like, Well, fine, you know, yeah, screw you. Yeah, you were like, Screw you.

Heather 8:32

You just like put your hand up and kept your pocket, and I'm like, whatever. And the lady next to me in the bus, she was like, She's gonna tell Al you just did that. And I'm like, let her tell Al. What are we gonna do? Right, right, down I knew you weren't, but it was fun to let her believe it.

Zia 8:49

Absolutely. I actually had a friend in high school like that too. We would argue, and we were really good friends, and we'd start calling each other names down the hallway, and people were like, Oh my god, they're gonna fight. Like, this is gonna be a brawl. And she was so much shorter than me. She was so cute. And I was like, Oh my god, she's she was so cute and like so much shorter than me. I would have never, you know, was it wouldn't even have been a fair fight, okay? And so she, you know, we'd like head towards each other down the hall, and people are like, Oh my god, stopped in their tracks, and we just end up giving each other a hug. And people were like, What what happened? What just happened?

Heather 9:30

Yeah, I I was answered for a fight, right? You just brawled and walked away.

Zia 9:35

Absolutely, absolutely.

Heather 9:37

You were done fighting before anybody came to break it up.

Zia 9:40

Yeah, but like they were selling stuff, not selling stuff, advertising stuff that they love and stuff that is working for them.

Heather 9:47

Well, we're talking about the content. Yes, sorry, yes, way down the list.

Zia 9:50

Okay, we went, we went way down. Um, but it's like they it's it's not that they're changing, because I get that we're trying to do new things and you know, reach out to people. Um, it's you have to grow in what you're doing. So if you don't like it, then you know, like they, you know, say scroll, pass us, delete us, um, you know, you'll feel feel free to broug block me. I don't know that you're blocking me, I don't care. Um, but but don't care when I block you. So, you know, it's the double edged sword, I guess they say. Yeah, but you can't you can't put people down for trying to make themselves better or bring you something that like, you know, I'm very passionate about apple products. If I keep talking about apple products or Coca-Cola or McDonald's, how we always do, that's what we like. So we're not gonna change what we like because I'm not gonna change and say and and it would be so fake for us to change and say, Oh my god, I just it's gonna hurt to say this out of my mouth. I just love Pepsi.

Heather 10:57

I think I but but here I think my heart hurts. Sorry, my heart does hurt on that. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah, I did love Pepsi. Pepsi changed. I was a Pepsi girl for years, yeah. And then Pepsi changed their makeup, yeah, or their their ingredients recipe, whatever you want to call it. And all of a sudden, Pepsi was disgusting to me. And I switched to Coke, and now I don't want to go back to Pepsi. Yep. But I will say Pepsi and Iceland didn't have the change that they have here, so Pepsi wasn't that bad.

Zia 11:30

Okay.

Heather 11:31

But yeah. But anyway.

Zia 11:35

Your body just knew that you were gonna meet me and had to change to coke.

Heather 11:38

Had to change for that.

Zia 11:40

Love it.

Heather 11:40

We're allowed to like different things.

Zia 11:42

That's right, absolutely. Yep. Oh my god. If we like I always send Heather those memes that say, Oh, I forgot my color today. And then they grab the girl with the with the colors.

Heather 11:53

Although I am sitting here, I'm still in my cammers.

Zia 11:56

Yeah, me too.

Heather 11:57

But I'm in a dark grey shirt and black leggings. Love it. But for the baby shower, I have fancy pantsy jeans. I bet you do. And a bright white shirt with no red hearts all over it.

Zia 12:11

Yep. And I think when when people would see you come in like that and then to work, and I was always like very authoritative in any black outfit, and um, you know, they would be like, How are you two friends? Because it's easy. It's just so easy. It's so easy. Yep. So, um, what

The Iceland Travel Chaos Story

Zia 12:32

do you call it? We were talking about your flights to Iceland.

Heather 12:36

My flight to or from? Which one do you want to hear first?

Zia 12:39

Well, let's do all the flights that didn't flight.

Heather 12:43

Oh, well, that's all of them.

Zia 12:45

Yes, right.

Heather 12:46

So Friday morning, everybody's pretty much ready to go to Iceland. We're waiting on Angela's friend to get to the house. Right. And we're sitting on the couch. We're like, you know what, we got like two hours to kill. Jade is almost in, well, about two and a half hours to kill. Okay. Yeah. And we're like, we're good. And then we're gonna get ready to leave for the airport. Right. And um to Boston. We're going to Logan Airport, and the flight was from Logan to JFK in New York City.

Zia 13:18

Okay.

Heather 13:19

And then JFK straight to Iceland.

Zia 13:21

Sure.

Heather 13:22

And my phone pings, and I look at it, and it says, Your flight from Logan has been canceled.

Zia 13:30

Oh god. Yeah.

Heather 13:32

And I'm like, I'm like, what does that mean? Because apparently I didn't think straight. So I hand my phone to Rich and he's like, that's nothing. He's like, that's just spam. Because it was and then his phone pinged, and Angela's phone pinged, and we all looked at each other and were like, Wait, what just happened? And so Rich jumps up, gets on the phone with Delta, because we flew by Delta.

Zia 13:56

Oh my god.

Heather 13:57

And so, backstory to that, a couple of days before that, Jade was trying to change her flight to Rochester, New York.

Zia 14:06

Oh, okay.

Heather 14:06

That's where she's going to college. So she would rather, instead of driving from Rochester to us in New Hampshire, she's like, Why can't I just get out of Rochester?

Zia 14:16

Yep, yeah.

Heather 14:17

So we were like, that would make more sense.

Zia 14:19

Absolutely.

Heather 14:20

But we were trying to move her flight, and what they said was initially, we said, Well, why can't she just meet us at JFK? Yeah. And they're like, because if you miss your first flight, we're gonna mark you as um no show and cancel.

Zia 14:31

Oh, geez, yeah, no.

Heather 14:32

So Rich is on the phone with Delta, back to our original story.

Zia 14:36

Yep.

Heather 14:37

Rich is on the phone with Delta, and they're like, Um, yep, your flight is canceled, we'll have to reschedule you. And he's like, But wait, it's still showing from JFK to Iceland is still going. And they're like, Yeah, and he's like, Well, I can get to JFK. Can I drive there? And you'll still let me on the flight. No. Yes, no. So it ended up yes. So we tell we call Jade while we're doing while he's on the phone with that. I'm getting everything together and starting to load the car because panic mode.

Zia 15:10

Yeah.

Heather 15:10

Angela's on the phone with Jade stopping her because she had made it all the way to Albany.

Zia 15:16

Oh my god.

Heather 15:17

So she was almost halfway here, or she was more than halfway here.

Zia 15:20

Yeah.

Heather 15:21

And um, so Angela's on the phone with her, is like, stop until we figure out what we're doing. So we decide we're all gonna drive to JFK, but Jade doesn't want to park her car in JFK, and I get it. I mean, it was almost a $500 parking fee for the 10 days. So we reach out to Nicole, who by the way is on vacation out of the country.

Zia 15:45

Right.

Heather 15:45

And I can't get Nicole, so I Facebook message, call her husband, my brother-in-law.

Zia 15:53

Yeah.

Heather 15:53

And I'm like, John, can I park a car in your driveway while you're away and we're away, and because and I explained it quick, and he's like, Oh my gosh, just do it. So I'm like, okay. So he calls back to the people who stayed in New York. We're now driving to Nicole's.

Zia 16:14

Yeah.

Heather 16:15

And Jade is on her way to Nicole's. Then we all stop. Jade calls me and she's like, so I did a um follow my drive in the GPS.

Zia 16:26

So that's where you were.

Heather 16:29

And so Jade calls me and she's like, wait, your GPS isn't taking you down through Connecticut, it's bringing you toward New York. And I'm like, Yeah. And she's like, Well, if you're gonna come all the way out to 90, can't you just shoot that little bit and meet me in the Taconic?

Zia 16:45

Oh, yeah.

Heather 16:46

And I'm like, Oh, I'm like, Well, that would make more sense.

Zia 16:49

Yeah.

Heather 16:49

So we reroute and we put in a gas station in Chatham. Yeah. Right at the top of the Taconic. And so her dad brings her to the gas station. They're waiting for us. We get to the gas station. Then I remember I didn't let Nicole or John know that I changed. Oh jeez. The people who are still at their house are waiting for us. You know, to I mean, not that they're not gonna visit, but they're waiting for us. Right. So we get Jade in the car, and now we just have to go down the Taconic into uh JFK into Queen.

Zia 17:21

Yeah, to JFK, yeah.

Heather 17:22

But remember, the flight was cancelled, so obviously there's some kind of weather going on. Absolutely. I reach out to John, I can't, he doesn't answer. I call Nicole, she doesn't answer, so I just text them both, and I'm like, okay, change of plans. We were able to pick her up on the Taconic, she's keeping her car in upstate. We're just going here for thank you for the offer, and I send the text. Yep. Halfway down the Taconic, it turns midnight, and the skies open up. The road, because it's the Taconic.

Zia 17:52

You sent me a picture of that.

Heather 17:55

And I yeah, we'll have to post it. But the the world goes to midnight. The rain is so oh my god.

Zia 18:04

I think you said it looked apocalyptic.

Heather 18:07

It did look apocalyptic. There was the roads were flooding, the lightning was literally like six feet in front of us on the road. It was like, oh my gosh. So we finally get to JFK, we park, we go in, and we go to, I don't remember what it was, so I'm just gonna make up a number. We go to gate 35, and the flight is supposed to leave at 11.

Zia 18:34

Okay.

Heather 18:35

So uh we're we get there, and it already says it's one hour delay, so it's midnight. That's fine.

Zia 18:40

Right, right.

Heather 18:41

Considering the weather that we just drove through, there's no planes landing in that.

Zia 18:44

Nope.

Heather 18:45

Anyway, they're all up there just circling around.

Zia 18:47

Yep.

Heather 18:48

So 11. All right, so we're sitting at gate 35. We all grab something small to eat, we're all exhausted because adrenaline was going for how long? Yeah. Then we get an alert that the flight is delayed again. So now it's one, and then we get an alert that it's now gate 36. So that's just one gate over. So we just move one gate. So now we're sitting at 36, and the plane finally lands at like one unloaded, they put out an announcement that they're gonna clean the plane and then we're gonna start boarding. They're cleaning, they're cleaning, they're cleaning, they're cleaning, they're cleaning, they're cleaning. We get an alert that they moved us to gate 20.

Zia 19:34

Oh my god.

Heather 19:36

So literally the entire gate stands up like almost in like a choir formation. We like and we all start walking. We get down two of those stupid little ramp walks, those escalator walks, yeah, and then the alert comes back, gate 35. So we all spin around and we go back to the gate.

Zia 19:56

Oh, yeah.

Heather 19:57

And then 36, where the plane originally was. So we finally get on the plane. We leave at 2:30 in the morning. We were supposed to land at 8 30. We landed at 11:30, and that is how our Iceland trip began.

Zia 20:20

I love that for you.

Heather 20:21

Not I did not love that for you. Yes. Did not. Did I? Did not so yeah. The flight back was the we were able to change the flight back because now our car is at JFK and we were supposed to go back to Boston.

Zia 20:36

Right.

Heather 20:36

So they did let us change to JFK and it ended up with a direct flight. Yeah, which was fine. Um, and the issue we had was just that the airport was so busy. Right. Right. But other than that, the the way back was not bad at all.

Zia 20:50

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was looking forward to things, and you have an idea of what this trip's gonna be like for so long, and then just these little quirky things happening, just like yeah.

Powering Through Panic And Stress

Zia 21:04

So leads us to actually perfectly to our next topic, which is how do you power through things, right?

Heather 21:13

Well, that's something I'm learning to do because of um my mental health right now. So it's harder than I want it to be. Okay. Um, I know what I want to do, I just sometimes can't get it to do what I want. Right. Um, but generally I I I seem to make an announcement that I'm beginning to have a panic attack, and I expect that to just change the situation, which it never does.

Zia 21:49

No, no.

Heather 21:50

But I I feel like my announcement should change it, and I yeah, I'm not sure why, but yeah.

Zia 21:56

How do you power through? Well, I have a very good example of powering through, which um I went to the doctors and I went to my asthmatic doctor. And I've had asthma since I'm eight years old, so it's not like anything new. Um, and They gave me a breath test, uh, breathing test, and the doctor came in and he looks at me, you know, hello, how are you doing? And he says, How are you feeling today? And I said, Ah, you know, the weather's weird, little tube, you know, uh uh, what do you call it? Moisture moisture's you know, humidity, all that stuff. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, Yeah, I'm I'm fine. You know, uh past week I felt a little bit tighter. I was using my rescue inhaler a little bit more. No biggie. Right. He goes, You're having a huge asthma attack right now. What? And I'm like, yeah, and I was like, No, I'm not. I'm fine. He goes, I he goes, I I your breathing test is not showing that. You have a huge obstruction right now. He goes, I can't believe that you're as happy as you are sitting across from me, or that you're even sitting up right now.

Heather 23:10

What?

Zia 23:11

And I said, um, no, I'm fine. I just feel a little tight in my chest. Yeah, it's like I just no, nothing. So I was like, I I like it wasn't computing to me as to what he was saying and what he actually meant. Like people would be in the hospital at this point. So the best example that I could give him was I have felt the way that I was feeling that day, even maybe a little worse, and I would have to perform on stage. So there was no choice but to say the show must go on. So he was looking at me and going, No, like this is serious, like this is serious enough for me to change your medicine right now and give you a treatment. Oh my god. And I was like, I'm not wheezing. Like I said to him, I'm like, I'm not wheezing. And he goes, Well, if you were wheezing, you'd be probably at 20-30%. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I've I've actually performed during that too. So I think my powering through is there's no choice but to. So I don't think that's a healthy way to power through, but it it was typical, like I would have never known Heather. I would have never known if he would have not taken that test.

Heather 24:50

Wow.

Zia 24:50

Never. Yep. So for me, I think powering on or powering through is really just you have to do it. Regardless of what you're feeling like.

Heather 25:00

I mean, I mean, we've established that even when I before I came to New Hampshire and got this ability that which gave me to work on my mental health. Um I mean, 99% of the world would not have known that I was in the situations I was in.

Zia 25:18

Absolutely not.

Heather 25:18

Because I had to power through. I was I had a kid at home, I had a young adult at home, I had a college-age kid at home, I had and I had to do it. I had dogs, I had dogs that fought, I had dogs that got along. I had, you know, uh I don't yeah, it's just I mean, sometimes you just do it. Yep. And and I think part of my problem with powering through now is because I've been given the opportunity to focus on me, I'm losing that ability to power through.

Zia 25:54

Okay.

Heather 25:55

And I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing. Um, I think it's both. I think I think it's I'm gonna use our double-edged sword today, apparently.

Zia 26:04

That's what our that's our yeah, we might have to change our topic. No, I'm just joking.

Heather 26:09

Uh we're not going to. Um I I feel like it's a double-edged sword because there are times when I'm happy to collapse.

Zia 26:17

Yeah.

Heather 26:17

And and just let it overpower me because I know once it's done and I recover from that, I don't want to say breakdown, but it is kind of a breakdown. Yeah. Once I recover from it, I'm okay.

Zia 26:30

And it's actually healthy. It's healthy to do that.

Heather 26:33

Exactly. And and because once it's done and the adrenaline is gone and the tension is gone, I'm like, I'm the only calm one in the room, and everybody else is reeling from my implosion.

Zia 26:48

Yeah.

Heather 26:49

And so, of course, I'm happy go lucky now, and I'm skipping around the room ready to take on the world, and everybody else is recovering. So that's hard too, because how do you power through my powering through or not powering through? It's true. It's it's uh true. No. Yeah. We should probably do a whole topic on that. We should look at something like that.

Zia 27:12

Yeah, we should.

Heather 27:13

Do you have your notes? Yep.

Zia 27:15

Oh, good. We should we should focus on that more. I take more notes now than I did in school. Sorry.

Heather 27:21

Good for teachers, we'll be proud.

Zia 27:24

I know.

Heather 27:25

But um, I think we had one more topic. Oh, we do. Yeah, yeah. We have to talk about it.

Zia 27:28

Yeah, I think we have like we have like two little ones, I guess.

Heather 27:31

Yeah, well, they're not little. One is super exciting. I did talk to my AI, my chandler buddy, yeah. Um, because we didn't have that many five-minute loves that popped up.

Zia 27:39

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Asthma Reality Check At The Doctor

Heather 27:42

Um but you went to another doctor this past week.

Zia 27:45

I did. Because can you believe that I actually had the appointments?

Heather 27:53

Well, wait, you showed up and the doctor said see me now? Yes. That's not what happened.

Zia 28:00

That's great. So um, yeah, so I went to my hip doctor also. Um finally. And um, I'm gonna have surgery on the 31st. Oh my goodness. So of um August. August, yep. Yep. And the I come to an appointment with uh expectations. So my doctors definitely put up with me, I have to say. They do put up with me. And he was like, Well, we're gonna do we're we're gonna do this, this, and this. And I'm like, nope. And he's like, Well, that's what I think I should do. And I'm like, and I think that I need to get to work on the 8th. So we're gonna we're gonna do something else. So figure it out. So he's like, okay, so he went and talked to his nurse, and he came back and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna do this, this, and this. And I go, fantastic. Can I put full weight on it on like the next day by the end of the day? And he's like, Yeah, I said, perfect, I'll take that one. Cheers. Yep. So, you know, it's like it's like I'm walking into McDonald's and I want a list, you know.

Heather 29:08

Isn't that Burger King having take that out?

Zia 29:12

Take that out. I don't want that in my happy meal.

Heather 29:14

Um isn't that Burger King?

Zia 29:16

No, I'm doing happy meals.

Heather 29:17

Oh, okay.

Zia 29:18

Yeah, so it's like, you know, uh I'll take that option, that kind of thing. So yeah, so I'm gonna go do that on the 31st, and thank God I'll be able to go right back to work um when I need to. Awesome. Uh yeah, so that's good news because I'm really tired of this pain.

Heather 29:35

That's really great you news. I'm I'm very happy for you.

Zia 29:38

Yeah, yep. So good news sometimes comes.

Hip Surgery Plans And Work Timing

Heather 29:42

So you and I started something, um, I'm gonna say, almost three years ago. And we both did it, and I had my success immediately, and you did it, and now I'm not having success, but you did.

Zia 29:57

Yep. We grew well we were trying to grow pineapples, yeah. Um, and uh house plant pineapples.

Heather 30:07

There is it's like a hybrid pineapple that you can grow indoors.

Zia 30:12

You just get one pineapple on the plant, and yeah, and it you know, it it happened, so I will have to post pictures, but we actually tried our pineapple. Yeah, um, the grandkids were so excited.

Heather 30:27

The pictures you sent me, you'll have to ask if you can heart out their faces. Yeah, they I I just one face is just the one, the one with the in your hand, you could just like while be there just to generalize.

Zia 30:39

Everybody was so happy. I mean, every time they would come over, they're like, Can we see the pineapple? Can we see the pineapple? Is it ready yet? And I'm like, No, it has to be all yellow, it has to be fully yellow for us to try it. And I tell you, it was so sweet and so juicy that I'm I'm kind of like don't want to buy a store bought pineapple anymore. I will wait three years. Yeah, I'll wait three years.

Heather 31:05

So I had mine immediately, like as soon as I bought the plant, I had a pineapple like immediately. Yeah, and I can't get another pineapple to grow. So I'm gonna have to do some research because yeah, I might I might have it in the wrong soil.

Zia 31:21

Okay.

Heather 31:21

I'm I might have it because I think I have it in um succulent soil.

Zia 31:28

Oh, mm-mm.

Heather 31:29

I think well, I think it's in a mix of succulent and soil soil.

Zia 31:32

Okay.

Heather 31:33

So I think maybe I need to change what it's in.

Zia 31:36

Yeah.

Heather 31:36

Um, I'll have to research that.

Zia 31:38

Yeah. But um the one bus driver that was your neighbor, he gave me two of them. I gave one to Margaret or Star, and then I took the other one. And I had I was on that every two, I was like really working to see keep that thing alive. And uh, so I would have to say it took about five years for that pineapple to be fully grown. Yeah, which it was a long time, yeah, but totally worth it. Totally worth it.

Heather 32:12

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna look into mine and see why it's not being happy.

Zia 32:16

Yeah, yeah. Make it happy.

Heather 32:17

It also moved.

Zia 32:19

Oh, true.

Heather 32:20

So that could have stunted it too, because it went from New York to New Hampshire. Um have a tiny pineapple on it, it's just not growing.

Zia 32:28

Right.

Heather 32:29

So I gotta look into that.

Zia 32:30

Yeah, absolutely. Are you taking your aloe back this time?

Heather 32:34

I am this time, yeah. I think the temperature is okay. Well, I I didn't want to take it back afraid because it was so hot, and then the car would get hot, and yeah, you stop for the bathroom. I mean, it's 10 minutes, but it's I just brought my dad one.

Zia 32:47

I brought him a spider plant and an aloe plant.

Heather 32:50

Now to bring it that far. I mean, you took it to your dad, so I think it's good to put it back now.

Zia 32:56

Yeah, so I just wrapped up a paper towel with some water on it, and I put water in the cup and then I transported it.

Heather 33:03

Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do. I think I'm gonna put it in a larger container and let water overflow in it and see what I can do. Yeah, I just am afraid. I was afraid because it's also so small, I didn't want it to get clipped or whatever.

Zia 33:15

Yeah.

Heather 33:16

But I think maybe I'll put it on the floor in the front seat.

Zia 33:19

Yeah, put it in the cup holder. That's what I did.

Heather 33:22

Oh, that's not a bad idea.

Zia 33:23

Yeah, put a little cup, put it in the cup holder. Yep.

Heather 33:25

That's actually not a bad idea. Yeah. See, that's why I keep you.

Zia 33:31

I'm good for something. Absolutely. Let's go.

Growing Pineapples And Moving Plants

Heather 33:39

Yes, it's an awesome topic.

Zia 33:41

Yes, it is.

Heather 33:42

All right.

Zia 33:43

Go ahead.

Heather 33:44

Let's do it.

College Drop-Off Emotions And Co-Ed Bathrooms

Heather 33:48

All right. So I posted where you at and what you're doing.

Zia 33:53

Right.

Heather 33:55

Except it's written wrong on the paper, but that's okay.

Zia 33:58

That's okay.

Heather 34:00

So, and the day I posted that, Nicole was taking her youngest to college.

Zia 34:08

Yeah, so many are, right?

Heather 34:10

I know. So he's up in Plattsburgh. Okay. He's going to SUNY, Plattsburgh.

Zia 34:15

Love it.

Heather 34:16

Um, I'm not sure if I can say what he's studying. I'm sure it doesn't happen. But I'm not gonna unless, you know, not my not my help. No. Um, but he's up in SUNY or up in Plattsburgh. And um, we do voice to text a lot, uh, not voice to text, um, audio text.

Zia 34:33

Yeah, yeah.

Heather 34:33

And I had reached out to her and and I sent her, you know, texting hugs and kisses when she was struggling with him going to school. Right, yeah. And uh so I asked her how she was, and she didn't answer me that day. She answered me the next day, and we had a long conversation. And the one thing that she was bothered the most by was that they have it's a co-ed floor.

Zia 34:57

Okay.

Heather 34:57

He has same-sex room, he has a roommate um who's in the same degree field with him. They're not studying the same, but they're in the same field. Right. Um, but the bathrooms on the floor are co-ed. And the way she described it was you walk in to a couple of sinks, and then there are toilet shower stalls behind you. So you walk in and you can poop and then jump right into the shower. And then you come out and you have your sinks and your mirrors and all of that. Got it. She's very bothered by that because they're co-ed.

Zia 35:43

As as many are and have been uh for years, um, I was just telling Heather a little bit of a scenario that I know, and that was this was back in 91, 92, no, had to be 93, because we graduated in 92, so 93. Okay. Um so my friend was in school in Massachusetts, um, and she had, you know, it was uh same-sex sleeping in the rooms. Okay, um, but all the bathrooms were co-ed. Okay. So um my husband, not at the time, okay, uh, used to drop me off with my mom when I would take the bus to go visit her. And he'd be like, bye, okay, bye, see you, see you Monday, you know. And uh he drive up there and come see me with his friend. So um we, you know, we he got to stay in the room with us because it's like guests are there, so he got to stay in the room with us. Okay. Um, but we had to take showers and you know, we both went in there at the same time. So it's like, you know, it was a regular thing that, you know, you saw a girl go in and a boy go in, and that's how it happened. Um yeah, and I think she actually had I they think they called them the TAs, right? Uh the right, um RA, right. They were um he it was a guy for the girl floor and the boy floor. So I mean, uh it's I believe, you know, this has been going on for a long time. Yeah, I think it's just sometimes more shocking to the parent because you keep them separate all the time.

Heather 37:33

Well, and now it was very segregated.

Zia 37:35

Yeah.

Heather 37:36

You know, the boys' locker room is on this side of the gym, the girl's locker room is on that side of the gym. Absolutely. And there do the locker rooms cross.

Zia 37:44

Absolutely. Yep.

Heather 37:46

Um, so my my nephew, my one of my other nephews, yeah, recently went to college.

Zia 37:52

Yep.

Heather 37:52

Um, he's actually in his second year, and I don't think he's doing it this year. I believe this year he went into an apartment style dorm. Um, but last year he was in a co-ed dorm room.

Zia 38:07

Okay.

Heather 38:08

Um, you could um they had co-ed bathrooms, co-ed floors, and you could do co-ed rooms.

Zia 38:16

Okay.

Heather 38:16

Um, so he had a female roommate. Apparently, they were both interested in the same sex of dating.

Zia 38:25

Okay.

Heather 38:26

So that was the defense that my brother gave for it being okay. True. I had a problem with it personally because I my theory was just because we are interested in the same people, yeah, that doesn't mean all of our friends are.

Zia 38:45

True.

Heather 38:46

So if you have a friend stay over, even if they live in the next dorm over, you still stay at your friends' dorms. I mean, I remember Eliza saying that people slept in each other's rooms, yeah, and not in a sexual way, but right.

Zia 39:00

Yeah, just stay over.

Heather 39:01

Right. You just stay over because you're in there drinking and you just fall asleep or whatever, but or not even drinking, just whatevering. Yes. And my my issue with that was just because we like the same people doesn't mean any of my friends do.

Zia 39:15

Yeah.

Heather 39:15

And that's where I had an issue with it. I mean, it seemed to be fine for him last year.

Zia 39:19

True.

Heather 39:20

Um, I don't believe there were any problems, but I think I would be okay with the co-ed bathrooms. When I was in basic training, oh yeah, we had a co-ed bathroom. Um, except we were only allowed one sex at a time. So whatever sex went in would flip a sign on the outside and it would start like, and then you would set a timer.

Zia 39:42

Got it.

Heather 39:43

Five minutes, and then you had to come out, and the next sex was allowed in. But within that five-minute timer, you could anybody could go in, but right. Um, so in the morning, um, the way we did it every morning when everybody had to use the bathroom was um the girls would wake up five minutes early today, and then the boys would wake up five minutes early tomorrow. So we were on our our rooms were same sex, but we shared one big bathroom, and that that had an open show shower stall. Yeah, um, but it was the army.

Zia 40:16

Um but and and star said, you know, when she's traveling overseas, so many of the bathrooms there are co-ed. So it's not a big deal overseas.

Heather 40:25

Yeah, so when we were in Iceland and we went to the lagoons, yeah, um they when we got to um because we went to the two lagoons I I showed you guys, um, they had um one of their rules was you had to shower naked.

Zia 40:42

Okay.

Heather 40:43

Before you could enter the lagoon, and then they told you to shower when you got out of the lagoon. Lagoon all the minerals on you.

Zia 40:51

Yeah.

Heather 40:51

So there were women walking around the locker rooms just letting go. It uh and none of it bothered me.

Zia 40:58

No.

Heather 40:59

But the but the but the but the girls all had a little bit of a problem with it.

Zia 41:04

Yeah.

Heather 41:04

And and that was fine. They did um they did have some privacy on them.

Zia 41:10

Okay.

Heather 41:10

Not a lot. Yeah.

Zia 41:13

Yeah. Yeah. So many different ideas, right? And then what's right, what's wrong. It's just what you prefer and what you can deal with.

Heather 41:20

And Nicole, I think, I think he will be okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Zia 41:25

They're always okay.

Heather 41:26

He will figure it out. And and if he's in the bathroom and there's a hot girl out there fixing her hair because she just got out of the shower, he'll learn how to get a quick peek at what he wants to see, and he'll vice versa. I mean, absolutely out there primping and a girl will walk by and see what she wants.

Zia 41:47

I mean, absolutely.

Heather 41:48

He will be okay. He is difficult as much as nobody wants him to be.

Zia 41:53

I know, I know. Yep. I know there was a uh thing that it said if you jump on the train, you can go back to when your babies were small, if you catch the train. And the guy's like pounding, it's from a movie, and he's pounding on the window and he breaks through and he's on the train, and I'm like, you know what? As much as I would love that to happen, I'm so proud of what I see now. Yeah, that this is what you have kids for. This to to be that next version of what you could have been, you know.

Heather 42:25

You raise your kids to watch them become independent. That is your job as a parent.

Zia 42:30

And that means you're a good parent. When they can do that and they're doing it and they're doing it right, that's a good parent. Good parenting.

Heather 42:39

Like watching Allie be pregnant. Like, I'm I've so many baby flashbacks to when I was pregnant, and all these awesome things that I'm thinking and reliving in my mind, and I'm looking at her and I'm like, oh my gosh, that first hug she's gonna get, that first time he's gonna look up and smile at her. Yeah, and then potty training, as fun and frustrating as that's gonna be, and then school, and then and then, and then and I'm just like absolutely I would not go back for anything. No, but I love where I'm at because I now watch my kids and my young friends do all this, and it's like absolutely this is this is what it's supposed to be.

Zia 43:21

Yep, they always have those um things on the internet that say, you know, oh, being a grandma, like you get to relive your child's whatever, you know. And I don't agree with that. Like every time I see them, I don't agree with that. I'm not gonna get my child back as a baby. No, um, I love I love my grandkids because I'm loving them, and that's a piece of my daughter-in-law and my son. Yeah, but it but it's I'm I can't you're not gonna relive like your like you know, they they even have those ones out there where they're saying like, Oh, you don't understand the relationship between us, they get anything they want. And I'm I maybe I'm a weird grandma, I don't do that. I'm you know, um my oldest grandchild. Daughter knows that if um mommy says no, it's no. Yep, and and I say to her all the time, I go, Whose team am I on? And I mean she's three, and she's saying this to me. I said, Whose team is grandma on? Mommy and daddies. And I'm like, right, so no, if mommy says that is you get one cookie, you get one cookie. Sorry, I'm not sneaking you three on the other back end.

Heather 44:37

No, and no, yeah, yeah. No, and and honestly, I think that's you need I think that's good grandparenting because you're still giving them the cookie that you know mom doesn't want her to have, yeah, and mom compromised by saying, Yes, you know, giving that adult knob or give her a stupid cookie, right? And you're saying, awesome, here's a cookie. So you're still grandma giving that cookie, yeah. You're just respecting mom or dad by giving less. Yeah, I yeah, I I 100% agree. There's yeah, when when I'm in that, I mean I have Olin and all that, you know, and he's he is my grandson, even though he's my grandson. Yep. Um, and I mean if you remember, I watched him all through COVID and never did I spoil him in COVID. Yeah, you know what? I followed mom's rules. I absolutely I actually probably had stricter rules than mom.

Zia 45:32

Yep, yeah.

Heather 45:33

But you know, and but I mean, yeah, no, I I know, I know. It's hard, it's hard to watch your kids grow. So, Nicole, we changed our whole topic of five-minute loves, but it's you know what, it's a great topic, but but he will be okay.

Zia 45:53

Yeah, you did good parenting, so you'll be he'll be fine.

Heather 45:56

Right. The fact that he's in college.

Zia 45:58

Oh my god, yes, yep, absolutely. Good job. Good job. Yep, yeah, yeah. Just appreciate what's gonna happen.

Heather 46:07

Yeah, and just think from here, it's only gonna get better.

Zia 46:10

Yep.

Heather 46:11

Because now you get to watch him be him.

Zia 46:15

Oh my god, yep.

Heather 46:16

It's it's beautiful, amazing feeling.

Zia 46:19

Yeah, beautiful, yeah.

Parenting Pride And Closing Thoughts

Heather 46:21

Yeah, all right, guys. End it there. Yeah, wow, that got really sense, that got really intense. Yeah, that's us. That's us. I know. We go from laughing and joking to where's my Coke Zero? No, you know, I'm mad. I got up this morning and my daughter loves me, and she had half and half in the house, and so I just didn't have a single cup of coffee. Yeah, I knew I was up before everybody else, and it's not a big deal. Yeah. Made a cup of coffee. I came in here back into her office and sat down to drink my coffee. And as you texted me and said I'm getting my coffee, I reached over and grabbed my cup, and it was all curdled.

Zia 47:02

Oh no. No, yes, you have to go make a new one.

Heather 47:08

No, I didn't. I just grabbed a seltzer, so I'm drinking seltzer with you right now. Okay, but it's not what I want.

Zia 47:15

I know.

Heather 47:16

I think I'm gonna go. I think I'm gonna make her take me to Uncommon Grounds.

Zia 47:20

Oh, see that?

Heather 47:21

There you go. I think that's what I'm gonna do.

Zia 47:24

All right, guys. We'll see you back next week.

Heather 47:27

Yes, and I believe we're gonna all be in our normal locations.

Zia 47:31

Yes, I believe so.

Heather 47:32

Yes. Alright, love yes.

Zia 47:34

All right, bye.

Heather 47:35

Bye. Oh, wait, wrong button. Shoot. There you go.