Meg: From Being Bullied to Being Bold in Him

Meg takes us on a journey from being a bullied girl to a bold light for him.  A softball coach with a career at Columbia University. This girl is on fire for the hard conversations to step into the gap for the next generation of girls. 

Listen, be encouraged and catch the fire. 

Welcome to the BRAVE pod

Where we have conversations that matter to grow a task force that fights against the spiritual trafficking of our girls. We are Bold Redeemed Anointed Victorious and Eternal and it’s race against the enemy for her heart. The time is now to go on the Great Rescue, I am your host Amber Johns, let’s talk about it. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:25

All right, Meg, you're with us on the Brave podcast, and I am looking forward to talking with you because I think we have a lot of the same heart. And I met you through FCA as you are working to come on staff in the southern part of New York. But through that, we've also connected on Brave and just I think a mutual heart for younger girls and what they're going through, what we're going through as women, and just kind of all the things that Jesus has for us, especially in the vein of discipleship. So before we dig into all the things, um I would just love for you to introduce yourself, who you are, where you're from, what you're doing, um, and then we'll get into all the other stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Yes. Thank you so much for having me. I am so grateful for the opportunity. Um, so my name is Meg. Many know me by Coach Meg or Meg. My full name is Megan, but I don't really go by that. But um, yes, so Meg, I am living, I was born and raised in Orange County, New York, and still currently reside there. Um, I have been in and out of Orange County throughout my upbringing, just from going away to school. Uh, I got my undergrad in Buffalo um in journalism communications, lived in Miami, Florida for a little bit, very humid down there, and it was very humbling to say the least. So I definitely missed my fourth season, so I'm I'm happy to be back here. Um, and then I got my master's in higher and post-secondary education at Teachers College. Uh, I currently do work at Columbia University and have been for uh about eight eight years now. But my uh walk has brought me to a place of just understanding my passion for um faith and sports. Uh so the intention for me to go get my master's in higher and post-secondary education was to ultimately work with student athletes at the college level for development purposes. And then when I came to know Christ um in 2022, where I was saved, I didn't realize that God was very intentional in orchestrating um me getting that degree and coming alongside those of FCA to bring sports and faith into the same space, uh, which was really exciting and was an answer prayer. But um just a little bit of background of where that comes from. I've been around the game of softball for a very long time. Um, being a girl, uh uh growing up as a as someone who was bullied a lot of my years, I kind of wrapped my identity around sports uh and softball in particular. And I just realized that I, you know, wish I had advocacy when I was growing up and just understanding the struggles us girls face and young girls at that faced. And I just want to pay it forward and kind of pour into the youth and kind of give them what I lacked um in terms of identity and just support in that regard. So there's a lot to unfold in terms of what I am doing today, but a big part of it is working with the youth, um, serving the youth in that population, whether it's sports related, um, in my collective youth ministry at my my home church, um, and so on and so forth. I just have a heart for our generation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

So that generation specifically. So evident. Even just being around you a little bit, um, you can totally tell. So I mean, it's something that we haven't actually talked a little bit about. And if you want to, um, just being like bully, like what does that look like? Tell me, because I look at you now and I know you now, and I'm like, why would anybody say anything mean to you? But I know we've all probably we have all faced mean words. So tell me a little bit about how that affected you. When did it start, maybe for you?

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Yeah. Um, so growing up, I was a bigger girl. I was definitely overweight. Um, so I struggled with my weight, I struggled with my body appearance. Um, I suffered from body dysmorphia really up until recently. Um, and that was very difficult because really it just affected my confidence level. And I really just was surrounded by individuals who always reminded me of my weight. Um, they would give, you know, share some slurs and and say some things. And, you know, at that age, what people said about you, it you just would internalize it um and you would start to believe it. So I I was I would be reminded that I was, I would, I would be told I was fat or I didn't belong. And that created this place where I felt like I was in survival mode. I would do anything and everything um to just have a seat at the table, regardless of what that looked like. So that ultimately transitioned to me becoming a people pleaser. Um, because I just wanted to be liked. I mean, growing up at that age, you just want to be liked. You don't want to be picked on, you want to be the first person to get picked on a team, um, and so on and so forth. So it became something where I almost lost my own identity. And for a very long time I didn't know who Meg was. Um, and little Meg, I wish I could really hug her. Um, I've there are times where I I still like I just feel for her because she just felt like she didn't have a place in the world. Um, and I get emotional because I really know and can feel the girls and and and who struggle with that.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yeah. And it's crazy that you say that, like we internalize the mean things, we lose our identity. And it's like I do think of that often at that age, but then I'm like, man, like we do it now, you know. Yes, someone says something mean to me, and I'm like, I sit on it for days. Okay, so that's that's a lot to overcome. So tell me your journey towards, you know, you you get out of high school and now you're in college, and like I mean, you you got saved, I would say later, like I got saved as well in perspective of our lives later. Yeah. Tell me how that came to be in your life.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah. Um, so I was actually just reflecting on this with my childhood friends. So um she and her family actually planted a seed in my life in high school that I didn't even realize was planted up until I came to be saved. Um, she actually her and her family served and went to what now is my home church. Um, and she introduced me to the church when in during my childhood of our high school years. I didn't go consistently, but I went a couple of times and something felt different about being in that environment. And that was right before I went away to college. So that seed was planted. And though I wasn't actively pursuing Jesus at that time, um, it was something shifted in me. And I always had just a joy for life. I always was just somebody who tried to be happy, even despite what I was feeling, because I just like to make people feel good and seen and loved because I didn't always have that opportunity to feel that way. So how I showed up for people and how I left them matter to me. Um, something that I always strive is to leave people better than I found them. Um, so for me, going to college, being around people who had different walks of life, that really allowed me to just embrace who they were, but also me. And I think I was introduced to a lot of people who really saw me for me rather than saw me for what I was and what I looked like. Um, so really just it was stepping stones of like the Lord, I think kind of working in me and through me. And slowly but surely I just wanted to be healthier, like rather than saying like the woe is me mentality, I really strive to just invest in myself in that way. Um, and I just kind of started to build more and more confidence. I got more into leadership roles for you know, student life, and I just was getting poured into in a different way. Whereas I don't think my body image and the number on the scale really I, you know, define me. And I didn't, I no longer allowed it to, and I no longer allowed what people would say about me to define me and to consume me as much.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

That's so good. And like that's that's really hard to do, even you know, like it's funny because I felt like, oh, as I get older, that won't matter as much, or as I get like into this, or if I get married, that won't matter as much. And it just and it's so good. It always seems to like creep in, like in some way or form, where it's like, well, that mom had three kids and she's smaller than I am. Like it's crazy how it never that body image just man, it's such a weapon against us. So you're through college. Um, tell me, tell me about why why you chose Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah. Um, well, first and foremost, glory to God and thank God for him choosing me first and loving me first. Um, because at the end of the day, I was even in the moments where he was pursuing me, which is every moment, I wasn't. And I'm just so grateful for his faithfulness and just being just continuously pursuing me and being there for me, even was it when I wasn't looking for him. But um I came to know the Lord. I grew up Catholic. So I under like I believed in something, but I didn't really know what I was believing in. And a lot of the time growing up Catholic, it felt transactional for me. And coming to know Christ, I understood the importance of relationship. And so um, you know, growing up and how I was, you know, grew up, it it took a toll on me in terms of the relationships that I put myself in and the people pleasing. I just allowed and I just allowed to be treated in any sort of way. I didn't know self-respect in terms of boundaries or advocating for myself. I kind of just wanted to be like, so I just allowed people to treat me and kind of walk all over me. So um in 2022, I walked away from a very abusive relationship that I probably had no business being in at the time. Um, but I walked away from it and it was something where I really felt like the Holy Spirit was like, that's it. Like we're we're not we're no longer going to be doing this. And I really found myself hitting rock bottom and I brought myself to what is now my home church, the one that my childhood friend brought me to in my younger years. And I sat in the back and the sermon spoke directly to me. And um I never looked back and I was saved in September of 2022. Um, and I really took three years to really be intentional to really know what it looked like to pick up my cross every day and die to myself and follow him. Um, and then I was baptized in February of 2025, so more recently. Um but during that time I really grew in my faith and I didn't have a lot of that around me in terms of my family and you know, even my community around me. So it was really something where I had to tap in and be intentional with my steps and and just being obedient in that and really just surrendering everything to him to get to know him and to have that relationship with him and what that looked like.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

So, do you have anybody in your life now? Like, I mean, what does that look like for you? Mentoring, discipleship, uh small group, like what does that look like for you now? Because that's hard. Like getting saved, you know, in your 20s, right now you're like, okay, I've lived life this way. I don't really know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Like, did you feel that way? Yes, I absolutely did. And I I laugh with my current, I have I it's hard because I feel like I have mentors in different areas of my life in in different instances. And um, there's one in particular, her name is Amy, and she wears many hats in my life. But something that she has always done since the first day I met her was just pour into me, pour wisdom into me. Um, I meet with her weekly. Um, and she's just somebody who's not only a friend, but she disciples me and really um shares the word with me. And we are definitely spiritually walking together. And she has helped me grow in my faith so much. It's just been so beautiful and um something that I don't take for granted because it is difficult. It is difficult to not have or be around people who are like-minded, who are going to be bringing you closer to Jesus um and just pouring the good news onto you. Um, so being intentional with surrounding yourself with people who have that relationship with Jesus and can pour truth into you is so important. And I think because Amy took me under her wing so early on in my walk in faith, it has helped me kind of stay in alignment and in obedience to where God is calling me. And I am so grateful to the Lord that uh he brought me uh to her.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah. So can I ask you this? Because this is we were talking before we started recording about discipleship, because that is literally brave. Like, like let's get involved, let's get our hands, like let's let's stop making excuses for not reaching out. And so it kind of is like on both shoulders, right? Like, you know, there's there's uh I would say my age, I'm clearly older than you, but like, you know, on us to to be kind of like looking out for, watching for, praying over, like, okay, God, who who can I insert my life into and then what stage should I do that? And that's so Holy Spirit led. But then also for the younger girls to be like, okay, who in my life is older, theologically sound, who could help me do this? And so that crossover becomes, and I I'll this is not from the Bible, I will place the more responsibility on the older women. Um, we we have more seasons of life to be on the search for, and then a smaller responsibility, and people can tell me if I'm wrong or not, um, on the younger girls searching because they don't they might not even know what they don't know or need or that they should be. So, in that, how were you approached? Like, how did that relationship begin between you and Amy?

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yes, um, that's a great question. So, and uh why I I laugh now looking back, so she is she works at the church and she is um our next steps coordinator, and one of her responsibilities is to do outreach and coordinate courses that we could take, baptism, all of these things. And I remember prematurely when I first kind of engaged in wanting to get involved, I wasn't ready yet. And so she reached out to me and I ghosted her. Um, I very much so ghosted her, and I did not go, I did not follow through with it. So it was a little difficult in that regard because I was like, I at that moment when I did shift and I was like, okay, now I'm ready. She just was there for me. She was like open armed, she didn't look at me any differently. She just was like, here we go. Like, we're like it was, and now looking back at it, now I realize it's the same way for me and how I disciple the girls that I do. Um, it's it's their journey. Um, we're meant to plant seeds, we're not called to transform heart hearts. That's God's uh doing, but really it made such a difference because it it she did take that initiative and engage, but it was also partly on me, just like you mentioned. Like a cross, there's a crossover in terms of that initiation and and it's a relationship, and that's big for discipleship. Relationship is probably essentially first and foremost what that looks like in order to be able to disciple somebody. So I think the way that she discerned where the Holy Spirit Spirit was calling her to and kind of when to intercede in that process and journey, I think um ultimately that relationship was being able to be built and that rapport was had because she was intentional with where the Holy Spirit was guiding her ultimately.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Yeah, so good. I love it. I love everybody. And so now you're coaching. So how many you see girls all the time now? Uh tell me how you got into coaching and what you love about it.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah. Um, so I've been around the game of softball since I was four. Love all sports. I think it's such such a pivotal vehicle to reach the youth in particular. But um I kind of stepped into coaching give or take almost a decade ago in various capacities, whether it was personal, um, one-on-ones. I started to assist and coach uh with the travel organization now that I'm now a head coach uh for. But I love it. Um I think it's one of the most pivotal roles that you can have. Um, the amount of influence that a coach has on an on a student athlete is so, so much more than I think we even realize. Um, and I just, you know, recognize not too long ago, coaching is a mission field. It's a ministry in itself. Um, and I do not take it lightly or for granted. I think it's one of it's one of the, aside from being the daughter, daughter of uh our Heavenly Father, um, I think what one of the most important roles for me is to be a coach because of God calling me to that, not only but being able to utilize the gifts that He has given me and being able to glorify him in that process and bring those um discipling or coaching closer to Jesus Christ and reminding them of who they are in him. Um and I just think it's such an such an amazing opportunity to be able to coach these girls, not only just on the sport, but one step further, it's always bigger than the game for me. And it's just coaching them and helping them become the best that they can be off of the field and being that kind of influence on them.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Yeah, so good. And I love I love that you see that. So, I mean, even if you're not coaching, there's we're all made to do something. Like there's that whole verse, like we there, God has plans for us, and so yeah, I I sometimes get people like, Well, we're we're not coaches, we're not involved with these, but you know somebody who knows somebody. Like I just always believe that there's a way, you know, like even and then God has all created us and that you're using what you know, like He made you a softball player, he made you to love sports. So, what a beautiful segue into relationship with girls is to do the thing that you were created to do with them. Um, so you were at the Brave Conference in October, and because I I had told you before, I was like, I saw this, and I was like, Meg, you make me cry. But I love your reasoning for it. So at the Brave Conference, we invited Andrea Mills. She's with the Love Like Lexi Project. So if you were there or you listened in, you know the story of her daughter taking her life in 2019, also a softball player, beautiful, wonderful um Christian family. So I will let you go to the Love Like Lexi Project um and and listen um to her whole story, but um her her profound ability to use the worst day of her life to minister to others, you were there. Um, and then you brought it back to your softball team. So I know you told me before, but explain explain how that transpired and like why you felt it was so important to bring her story back to your girls.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yeah, absolutely. Um, again, how I mentioned earlier, it's it's so much bigger than the game. And I think that the one of the biggest reasons why I brought it back to my girls, and I thought it was so important to share Lexi's story is because we all have something we're struggling with, whether we bring it to the surface or not. Um, it's really difficult to be vulnerable, I think, especially at uh the girls that I coach's age and just younger teenage girls. Um, and I'm grateful for the the experiences that I've endured at their age because I can I feel I can relate to them and empathize with them and put myself in their shoes. So it really allows me to provide a safe space for them and just to be able to pour into them and remind them that their life matters and they are all being called to something and that they have value and you know that they're seen and they're heard, and that any time that they have something that's bothering them, that they have people around them that love them and care for them. Um and I know that again, God has called me to this place, and I just try to steward that place well and embrace where my feet are planted. And it really was just to shed light on the fact that their lives matter, um, and that softball can be a platform to create love and to pour into one another and to be compassionate and just to cheer each other on, not even on the field, but off of it as well, and to be able to do life together. Um so it was just a really important thing for me to bring that back because it really touched my heart. And uh yeah, so this season we're honoring our season in honor of Lexi and her life and just all that is going on because of her uh her legacy. It's just such a beautiful thing, and it not only just moved my life and my girls, but I know the softball community is is moved too and beyond that. And I just think it's a very power powerful thing. Um, and I'm grateful to be able to to shed light on it.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yeah, I saw, I mean, I saw you even had there, it was it embroidered.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Um on her sleeve on each sleeve, it has um uh Love Like Lexi project, and then it has um wings and a and a prayer, uh, because we definitely want to integrate that in in our day-to-day, especially when we're playing um softball, we try to make sure that we're praying every single time we step on the field together because it's very important that we give glory to God and that we thank him for the gifts and abilities that we have to be able to play the game that we love.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So did you what was um because that's a heavy topic. Like I know you said you had the kind of like a Valentine's Day night, and that's like fun. And you didn't hesitate to kind of also bring something heavy because I do feel sometimes there is hesitation in that too. Like, oh, that's a law, it's too heavy for them, it's too much for them until you see the world they live in. And I I don't think anything is at this point. If they have a phone, nothing is off the table. That's always my uh that's like when people are not too young. I'm like, I don't know, do they have a phone? Then no, they're not too young, they've already probably seen it. But um, with that, what was some of their reaction to this? Um, and to listening to her story, I think it's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Yeah, um, I could definitely tell body language shifted a little bit. Um, some tears were shed, including for me too. Um, I think it it it called for everybody to be vulnerable in a sense, and whether we want sometimes, and I'll speak for myself growing up, you put uh a facade on, you put a mask on and pretend like everything is okay, not realizing the internal battles that we're facing. And I think it kind of allowed them the opportunity to feel safe within themselves and to really kind of look with within, like and see if there are things that are going on that they that they're battling with and struggling with. Um, but ultimately, I I and glory to God for this, I'm not afraid to have the Kinds of conversations. I'm not afraid to bring light to the difficult things that we face as women, as teenage girls, because I think without having those conversations, that's where we get into trouble. Um, because the reality is we're going to face challenges, we're going to face struggles. Um, and I just want to be the person. And and one of my favorite verses is be the light, Matthew 5, 16, like be the light of Jesus and show them who Jesus is and love and lead like Jesus. And I just think it's such a powerful thing to be able to provide a safe space um and encourage them to be vulnerable because it's not always easy. I mean, I'm 32 years old and sometimes I don't even like being vulnerable. I don't even like opening up and sharing things. Um, one, because I'm a I'm I like I cry all the time. I'm an emotional person, but two, um, it's it's a sacred place when you share things that are are you know something that you try to hide and and not bring to the surface. So it's just it's just empowering them to feel their feelings, knowing that they're valid and seen and heard.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Um yeah, I love that you said all of that. I couldn't, I there's I couldn't say it any better. And I think that most of that is true to 99.9 of us, you know, where it's like we all have this weird thing and perception about other people not experiencing it. Because anytime, anytime I've talked to somebody, whether it be eating disorder or anxiety, we just did a podcast on crippling anxiety as a Christian and how shameful she felt, you know, because like you know the truth, you should know better. And like, but in our minds, we know other people have it, because clearly it's been taught, it's more talked about now than ever. But I think that vulnerability that you're speaking about, like, I don't want people to know that oh, so you you have that issue, like ew, you know, like you're like, no, no, no, uh, you know, like it you just have this weird perception. I think, especially as Christians, we kind of put even more pressure on ourselves to have it all together, and that's so not what Jesus said it. He's like, Come to me, abide in me, you know, like all of those things. So, what a beautiful gift you are to those girls. Is there any a time where you start to feel like insecure about sharing Jesus with them or you get nervous about the conversations you're having? Because I think you and I kind of have the same like bent towards, well, it's gonna be uncomfortable, it's gonna be hard, but somebody better do it. I feel like we kind of have that, or not everybody has that, like, oh, if it's hard or if it's I don't, I don't feel that's appropriate. Like, what do you say about those hard conversations? Like, why are you so willing to have them?

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Yeah, I think um I think time and place is important, and I try to be intentional with praying and asking for discernment of when that time and place is appropriate. Um, I know that we're called we're called uh to be set apart. So I like to think that even if there's an instance where I don't feel it's an appropriate time to have that conversation, maybe it's not because I'm afraid to have it, but also, but more so because sometimes they might may not be receptive to it or sometimes it just might not be the time to do it. Um, I like to just try to be intentional with the way that I live my life. Like, do you see the fruits of what I'm doing and how I'm treating you and how I'm I'm you know, glorifying God through this in every day of my life? Like those are things that are important too. So even in the instances where I may not be able to have those conversations, I like to think that there's other ways to plant those seeds. Um, so so realistically, just being intentional with the time and place and who you're speaking to. Um, I know that we all are in different walks of life and I try to honor and respect that. And I never want to push anything onto somebody. I want to respect who they are. Um, and all we can do again is plant the seeds and and show the goodness of God through what he's doing in our lives and um just continuing to pray for bread for those around us um in that regard.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah, that's so good. It's so good. It's all gotta be, it's all gotta be bathed in prayer because I know I can step out of line and say something I shouldn't, or say, or be, you know, quiet when I should be bold, be bold when I should be quiet. So we, you know, we have full capability of really messing that up. But I love that you, you know, you have enough, you know, where you've seen people come invest in your life, the fruit of that. And I just, you know, what's in the final minute here? Like, what's your encouragement to those who feel like it's it's not their maybe not their role, but they don't feel equipped enough. They don't know what to do if somebody asks them something hard, they don't have time. Like, what would you say to that person that's like they're on maybe they're interested, but they just don't feel like they're the person called to get into these younger girls' lives, and younger could be 40, 30, 20, 10, you know, like depending on where you are. Um, so what's your encouragement?

SPEAKER_00 27:04

I would say um don't be intimidated by the idea of stepping out in boldness and in faithfulness. Um, I would say there have been times where I've have felt called to do something and I try to not want to, or maybe seeking out a way out because I'm uncomfortable because I don't think that I'm equipped to do it. But God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. So it's just it's in an instance of like um just being intentional with being in your prayer life and seeking out the that discernment of what God is calling us to do, but also just being our authentic self. Um, I do agree with what you were saying about this misinterpretation of Christians are meant to be perfect or we're called, we are the farthest thing from it. I'll speak for myself. I fall short all the time. I'm human. Um, as do we all. Um, we're all sinful, we all have a flesh. And I think something to be um intentional with is being genuine, being your your authentic self. I think people can feel that. And I think there it's more respected when you come across as somebody who's just being you, um, not performance base and just being intentional with wanting to connect and build those relationships. I think relationships are one of the biggest things and the most important, having those conversations, getting to know who somebody is and seeing them for who they are. Um, the Holy Spirit is going to do the work. Um, and just asking for those words, even if we don't feel like we have the words, Holy Spirit, speak through me, allow me to be that faithful vessel vessel to you, God, and let the let us serve the kingdom. Um, but not applying so much pressure on us and just living out our life, asking for those fruits um that we bear and just allowing us to be set apart enough where they see the goodness of God through our life.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

So we're gonna end with that powerful statement. Um, Meg, thank you so much for spending your time with us and just sharing your heart for discipleship and girls. I really appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.