"What I Wish Every Adult Knew About Kids"

In this episode, I, Malakai, open up an honest and eye-opening conversation about something every caregiver, teacher, and mentor needs to hear—what kids actually need from us.

“What I Wish Every Adult Knew About Kids” dives beneath the surface of behavior and challenges the way we often interpret children’s actions. I unpack the truth that behavior is communication, emotions are learned, and behind every outburst or shutdown is a need that hasn’t been met yet.

This episode is both a reality check and a reminder: kids don’t need perfect adults—they need safe ones.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or unsure of how to respond to a child’s behavior, this conversation will help shift your perspective and ground you in patience, understanding, and purpose.

Whether you work in childcare, education, ministry, or simply care about showing up better for the next generation, this episode is for you.

Press play, lean in, and step into a space where growth, grace, and truth meet.

Transcript

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Yo yo yo, welcome back to the Safe Space Podcast. I am your host, Malachi, and I'm so glad you're here. You know, the Safe Space Podcast is that place where you don't have to have it all together, or a place where you can just be honest, you can be seen, and you can just be. Um, today's episode is pretty familiar. Today's episode is interesting because this is episode 18. So we are two episodes away from 20, and that is gonna conclude season one of the safe space. Woo woo woo! Yes, sir. Season two is gonna be very interesting and very special because we are going to start having guests on the safe space. So after season one, safe space is gonna be taking a small break for season two prep. But please stick with me, please like, please share, please subscribe. All the things I'm on YouTube, I'm on uh Apple Podcasts, I'm on Spotify, I'm on a bunch of different podcast um platforms. So I appreciate you guys for this journey and for the support in all the things. But if you guys are ready, let's get into it. Today we're going to be talking about what I wish every adult knew about kids. Because the truth is, a lot of what we expect from kids doesn't match where they actually are, and sometimes without realizing it, we respond to them in ways that hurt more than help. So today I kind of want to create a safe space not just for you, but for the kids that you interact with every day. Let's get into it. Segment one, kids are still learning everything. One of the biggest things that I wish every adult understood is this. Kids are not mini adults. They are learning everything. They are learning how to talk, how to regulate emotions, how to express frustration, how to handle disappointment. So when a child overreacts or cries over something small or gets frustrated quickly, it's not necessarily because they're being dramatic, but it's because they're still learning how to process what they feel. What looks small to you feels big to them. Segment two. Or something happened and I don't have the words for it. Now, right here in segment three, we're gonna I'm gonna give you a safe space truth. And your safe space truth for today is that kids don't need perfect adults. They need safe ones. This is another thing I've talked about. So this episode is kind of like pulling from past episodes and even adding a little to it. But as I said, kids don't need perfect adults, they need safe ones. They need adults who listen before reacting, who correct without shaming, who stay calm when things get chaotic, and who create an environment where kids feel seen and or heard. Segment four. Yelling isn't teaching. Let's be so real for a second. Yelling might stop behavior in that very moment, but it doesn't teach anything long term at all. What it might do is it might create fear and it might create silence, but it doesn't build understanding. Kids don't learn best through fear, they learn through connection, consistency, and guidance. And listen, y'all, I get it. Working with kids can be overwhelming. Let me tell you, personal experience, for the last three weeks, I have been drained, I have been depleted, I have been tired. That is my reality. I work with kids in outside of my profession. I am a teacher. Outside of teaching, even when I go to PetSmart, my second job, kids come in there all day long. I'm interacting with kids there and educating there. Being the youth leader at my church, I'm interacting with kids there and I'm educating there, and I have a six-year-old son. I am educating him. My last three weeks at work, every day for the last three weeks, I've been bit, I've been hit, I've been spat on, I've been kicked, I've been pinched, I've had things thrown at me, all the things. So when I say I get it, I get it. Working with kids can be overwhelming. But what I've learned is that the goal isn't just to control behavior, it's to develop the child. Segment five. Some kids are carrying more than you know. Another thing that I wish every adult understood was that some kids are dealing with things that they don't talk about. They're dealing with things at home, things at school, and things emotionally. He was telling me that really quick spiritual thing, he was telling me that people forget, adults forget that kids go through warfare too. They go through spiritual warfare as well. So sometimes the child who is doing the most is actually going through the most. So instead of immediately reacting with frustration, we have to lead with curiosity and compassion because you might be the only adult that that child feels safe with. Segment six consistency builds safety. Kids need consistency, not perfection. They need consistency. Oh my goodness, they need consistency, they need to know what to expect, they need to know how you're going to respond, they need to know that you care. They need to know that your care for them doesn't change based on their behavior. Because when adults are unpredictable, that leaves kids open to feel unsafe. But when you're steady, even on the hard days, I've learned that you create stability for them. Segment seven. If you work with kids in any capacity, I really need you to hear me when I say this. You matter more than you think you do. The way you talk to them, the way you respond to their mistakes, the way you show up consistently. It sticks with them. Years from now, they might not remember every lesson that you taught, but they will remember how you made them feel. And this is actually one of my drives. I love that. I always say, I want my three to five year olds to be 13 and 15 year olds, and they say, Dang, I remember Mr. Malachi, that's crazy. I remember what he taught me, and I remember what he did for me. So remember, years from now, they might not remember that lesson that you taught them specifically, that ABC or that one, two, three, or that thing that you taught them, but they will indeed remember how you made them feel as individuals. Now, segment eight, I'm gonna come from a faith perspective for my Christians and those who believe in God. If you're someone who believes in God, we have to remember that Jesus valued children deeply. He didn't rush them, he didn't dismiss them, he welcomed them. And as adults, we have the responsibility to reflect the same heart, not just in what we say, but in how we treat them. Patience is not just a personality trait. That is not a personality trait that we possess, it is spiritual, kindness, understanding, gentleness. Those things matter more than we realize. I want you to reflect on this. Think about a child that you've recently interacted with, maybe one that challenged you, frustrated you, or even drained you. Now ask yourself what might they be needing that they don't know how to ask for? That question alone can change how you show up. Remember, you're not gonna get it right every time. You might lose patience sometimes, you might respond in ways you wish you could take back, but what matters is that you keep learning, you keep growing, and you keep showing up because one safe adult can change a child's entire life. Okay, let's close with this. If you are in a position to impact a child's life, don't take that lightly, but also don't carry it in fear, carry it with intention, with grace, and with love. Thank you guys for being here today. If this episode spoke to you, share it with somebody who works with kids because you never know who might need it. This here, this podcast, is your safe space. So, remember, two more episodes to go until the conclusion of season one. I thank you guys again for your support. I'll see you in the next episode. Oh, remember, every child is a seed. It just takes someone willing to water them. Peace.