E16: Desiree and Fernando “Hinge Screenshot”

Episode Summary

In this episode, Celeste and Dave sit down with Desiree and Fernando to recount their fast-paced and deeply intentional journey to finding one another. Matching on Hinge in January 2021—during the height of the pandemic—the pair met just 24 hours after connecting. From a chilly winter walk in Kitsilano to Fernando cooking a homemade vegan meal on their second date (despite not being vegan himself), their story is a testament to the power of authenticity and shared values. The group discusses the "logistics" of modern dating, the importance of being "the one" before finding "the one," and how a single thoughtful gesture—a printed screenshot of a first conversation—can solidify a lifetime commitment. Whether discussing their 100/100 approach to partnership or their shared love for freedom and adventure, Desiree and Fernando offer a refreshing look at what happens when you stop wearing masks and start showing up as your true self.

The Heart of This Episode

The Power of Immediacy

Values Over Habits

Intentionality & Detachment

Authenticity is a Shortcut

Small Gestures Matter

About Desiree and Fernando

Desiree is a deeply spiritual and value-driven entrepreneur who spent years refining her vision of a partner before meeting Fernando at age 41. A growing leader and advocate for veganism (created and runs a vegan shoe company - do yourself a favour and grab a pair) she believes in the power of "being the one" to attract the right person. Fernando, originally from Argentina, is an adventurous soul who lived in Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, and finally Vancouver before meeting Desiree. Known for his sincerity, honesty, and quiet thoughtfulness, Fernando brings a grounded, supportive energy to their partnership, proving that sometimes the best love stories begin when you're just about ready to delete the app for good.

Follow Desiree and Fernando

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireedupuis/

Get Celeste & Dave’s Book!

The Love List – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1998721264

Connect with Celeste

Instagram: @celestepennington_
Website: celestepennington.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to the Frequency of Love podcast. We are Celeste and Dave, a couple who lived a love story written in the stars and wrote a book about it. And now we're here to spotlight real love stories happening all around the world. In the time when the world focuses on what's going wrong, we're here to amplify what's going right. Honest, unfiltered conversations about how couples met and how they stay in love. Let's make love the headline again. Today we are chatting with Fernando and Desiree, who I am so pumped to have on. There's so much to these two individuals, and I'm really looking forward to hearing your guys' story because I actually think it's actually quite similar. Yes. Yes. There's uh we've got a couple commonalities things. So uh first question how did you two meet?

SPEAKER_05 0:55

We met on we met on Hinge on an online dating app called Hinge in January. Actually, we always have this debate about like what our anniversary date. I don't know if other online couples have this, but we matched on January 5th, 2021, and we met the very next day, January 6th, 2021. And yeah, I think it was very intentional, especially from my part. I was really looking for my person. And yeah, I was like, there was no monkeying around, you know, I wasn't gonna have like chat relationships with people. If you've done the online dating, you can develop a whole relationship with somebody over weeks of texting and to never meet them. And so it was very like, yeah, we had a couple of back and forths, met the very next day, and then the day after that, he was cooking me vegan dinner, homemade vegan dinner in his house. And I think we spent like every single day together pretty much from that point and moved in three months later.

SPEAKER_06 1:56

Oh wow, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

So that was it, January 5th. You guys matched January 5th. We had the same, we met on our first date was January 5th, too. I remember that.

SPEAKER_07 2:06

And we also have our anniversary, like the day we got married is like the anniversary, but we always do the day like that.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Yeah, yeah. Were you guys in Vancouver?

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Yeah, Vancouver, yeah, yeah.

unknown 2:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

Yeah, during COVID. The height well, still pretty much the height of COVID. I was living in West Band. Fernando was in Kitts, and I I don't know if you want to tell them. Do you want to tell? I mean, that's obviously the same story how we met. I don't know what your point of it is.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I was saying no, yeah, I think it was an instant instant connection run away. The moment uh after our first date, we went out a few more times, and after that, we never split up.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Did you guys connect on the veganism then? If that was like right away.

SPEAKER_05 2:58

No, he's Fernando is not vegan, he's Argentinian. And but yeah, the I'll I'll give a little bit more context too, because the just from like how we met perspective, it's a I I think it's a pretty cute story. We're meeting at the I don't know if any of your listeners are from Vancouver Kitts area, because I know that we have that connection, but um, we were meeting at the Starbucks right in Kitts on Cornwall, and there's only 30-minute parking there. And so I had parked there early enough for the date to meet him. And then as it's getting closer to the time of meeting, I was like, oh, I probably should like I need to repark or whatever. And so I ended up reparking, and then that made me a couple minutes late. So I'm like kind of like rushing to get to the Starbucks. And as I'm walking from like the kit, like the beach kind of area, I look down the alley, and sure enough, I see him coming in the same direction, and he looks at me and is like, like this, like and I was just like, okay, he's he's cheeky. Like I that to me is like, because we hadn't had like any, we only had a logistical conversation. Like, where are you based? Are you free tomorrow? Let's meet. And so that was immediately okay. He's funny. I know his first impression that he told me was that I he thought I was too short, even though I'm like 5'8.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

What did you how tall are you, Fernando?

SPEAKER_00 4:25

5'11, I guess. Yeah, you're five. I'm 5'11.

SPEAKER_05 4:30

When you first saw Baby, you're like, she's late.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yeah, I I was running late too. And she drove for about 45 minutes. I used to live there like a 20 meters away from that coffee shop, and I was getting getting late. I was really close. Well, so when I saw her, I was like, You are late. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah. I love that. Anyway, but I love that. And I know exactly what you're saying.

SPEAKER_05 4:56

Yeah. And then for the veganism, like I was very specific on my profile. Like I said, like I was looking, I was 41. Like, I was looking for my husband, the love of my life, and I was like, I'm vegan, blah, blah, blah. I want to adopt children, blah, blah, blah. I don't think he read my profile. I think he saw one picture, liked the picture, matched with me. And then after our date, I had this like, I actually went, so this is like a long, I don't know. Exactly. That's why I asked you how long you have on this conversation because I could tell stories for days. But like, so we we just went for a walk. It was obviously we said January. It was prime winter in Vancouver. He's wearing a sweater on our walk. We just went, we went, met at the Starbucks, went for a walk. You know how it is online dating. Like, I got an hour for you. This is the test beta run. If we like each other, we'll actually plan a date or whatever, right? So that was like, okay, fair enough. It's 4 p.m. He's wearing a sweater. Anyways, we do have this walk. He's making me laugh the whole entire time. I was very impressed. Vancouver was the third city that he'd set up a new life in. He's originally from Argentina, had moved to Rio. First of all, left his small hometown, went to Buenos Aires, the capital city, then went to Rio, Brazil, learned Portuguese, then had relocated to Vancouver and learned English. So immediately I was very impressed. I know what it takes to set up a life in another country. But, anyways, the sun went down and he was freezing. And so I was like, okay, I really like this guy. And he was like classic, do you want to come up to my apartment? And I was like, oh God, like, you know, I don't know. Yeah. But I was like, why are you not like who doesn't wear a jacket in winter? And you're like a baby when it comes to the now that I know you. So I don't know why you anyway. We went up to his apartment. And I it was it was good because I saw that he was like a bachelor, but like very clean, had nice decor, his nice apartment in Kitsulano. And when we were going to leave, he he said it was a terrible kiss, but he like went to open the door and then basically like planted a kiss on me. And I never ever like we had met like two hours for the first time. And like we I never, you know, yeah, like I said, usually it's the second meeting is like more up to date, maybe the third meeting you have a kiss, whatever. So he and that was like very out of character for me. So we kissed, and then he walked me to my car, and I was like kicking his feet. Like, I was like, didn't you read my profile? Like I'm vegan. Like, how are you not vegan? Like, you're not even vegan. And and but he like the next day he was homemade portobello mushroom vegan soup soup. So that is so sweet. Yeah, and from your perspective, what was it like when you knew that I was vegan?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Well, I didn't know that veganism is that extreme that you cannot even eat bottle or b butter or something like that. So for me to cook, create some food for her was kind of challenging. So I was trying to, okay, okay, what should I cook for a vegan person? So I started looking and trying to figure out what to cook for her.

SPEAKER_05 8:01

But you also say that's pretty impressive. He always says, too, that it was like, I know that he loves me for my values, like because I have very strong values, and for him, it was never like it can turn some people off, but for him, you always say that it was like something that you found attractive about me.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah, exactly. I think he was very attractive for me. For her, for me, like she had those values, and I since day one, I support her supporting her in all her journey in veganism. Yeah, I I am not vegan, but uh almost vegan because I pretty much never eat meat or whatever kind of meat. So yeah, very much everyday salad and rice and potatoes.

SPEAKER_05 8:49

At home, like I'm very much like we're not having animals like in the in at home, like in my life. I'm not opening up the fridge and seeing chicken. So definitely at home, we are very vegan. He's been very supportive of the journey. Um, I think he really does care about the environment and about animals and the things that I care about. But the last thing I'll say about our our meeting and our love story, because it was like a very fast kind of falling in love, was that as I said, we we matched on hinge and and Fernando was like over it. He calls like Vancouver girls flaky, like he was already ready to delete the app. And so, and like I said, we kind of like when we matched, it was like, okay, we're not seeing anybody else. But, anyways, he he deleted himself from the app very quickly. And I had gone on because I really wanted a screenshot, even though it was very brief, like I wanted a screenshot of our conversation and like just some memorabilia around that. And when I went on to screenshot the conversation, he was gone and the conversation was gone. And I was like, Oh no, like you, and he's like, Yeah, I deleted the app, like blah blah blah. And anyways, on our one month, just one month together, we went away for the night to Whistler. And on our one month anniversary, he gave me, I think you gave me a gift. I don't even remember what the gift was, but anyways, he had printed up the screenshot and like wrapped it in like some wrapping paper. And I was just like, it's over. Like the man is so thoughtful. One month later, I have the screen. Like, I didn't even had I hadn't even told him it like this. The art he was already off the app by the time I said I wanted that screenshot. So he had already premeditatively screenshotted our conversation and then gave it to me on our one-month anniversary. And I was just like, Yeah, that's just the most thoughtful.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

That's what I wanted to say. Like, Fernando, that was so sweet that even like on date two, for you to go so into something you've never done and make someone a vegan meal, like we know it ain't easy. And like, that's just so thoughtful. It's just so kind. Like, you must have been quite swooning very quickly, Desiree. Like, okay, this guy is real and he's extremely kind because we know that you know, these it's like these small gestures, like that's for Dave, that's his love language, like through looking after his family and feeding us all the time and constantly adapting to whatever that is, and we feel that all the time. And it's it's very special, I think, to be on the receiving end of that. I just want to acknowledge that, Fernando. Like, it really we talk a lot about that in our family. Thank you. How much it matters. Okay, well, then how did you know that it was it? Was are you saying at the one-month anniversary you knew it was it, Desiree? Or what do you what was it for both of you? I'll give him a chance to answer.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

I feel like I've been talking a lot.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Um like I said, I think it was an eastern connections, uh connection, and then after like say a few a few days, a few more uh date. We know we wanted to see keep seeing each other. So after I think three months, we move together, right?

SPEAKER_05 12:03

Yeah. What what period of time did you feel like I was like it for you? Or or do you I don't even know if he operates that way. I think it was just like I'm gonna commit to this. Like, what do you I don't do do you now do you now think that I'm it for you, or is there a point in your time in time?

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, I think after yeah, I think after a month or two months, I realized, yeah, she's the one, she's the person I want to meet.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

What was it?

SPEAKER_00 12:32

What do you mean what was it? Like, was there like anyway was what it was just easy to be to be together? Okay, let's go tomorrow to whatever to the for a walk, let's go to for a coffee, for coffee or for lunch. Was easy from day one. So after two months, I realized, like, yeah, I want to be with her.

SPEAKER_05 12:55

I think for me it was like very, I don't know, I'm so spiritual. And so I have had this like affinity or like calling in my heart. Like, I always pictured my person. He it's kind of strange, but you do hear women talk about like sometimes we have this affinity for like our father figure. My dad is is very dark, French Canadian, has a French accent, and so for since like my early 20s, I just pictured this guy like with dark features, really dark, thick hair, had this like calling for South America, Argentina in specific. And so, even previously when I would date other guys, and I was just like, Where's that dark haired guy that I'm like picturing? And so even when we matched, I was like, whoa, like he likes me, like he's so handsome, like he's like the per like he's my physical archetype. Like he is like the exact like type that I like the dark eyes of the Latin American. So right away I was like, obviously, the physical is there. And then when I went to his apartment when he cooked me dinner, his playlist was like all of my sign songs, like Cold Play Fix You, Justin Timberlake Mirrors, like you are you are the love of my life. So I'm like on this like first date with this guy who was like my physical like vision board, and all of my like love song musics are playing. He's speaking my love language of like talk about love language. Like, we speak all of the love languages to each other. I would say gifts is the least, but like in the beginning, he was giving me gifts, he was giving me words of affirmation, acts of service, like all of the things. And so, and because I was at that point in my life where I was like ready, I like immediately. Like, I think the first week I was like all in. I was like, Yeah, he's he's it for me. And I remember I stayed over at your place, you had to go to work, and you gave me keys to your apartment, and I put them on my keychain. Like, I was like, Yeah, these keys are like never going back, like they're mine now.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Yeah, I was expecting her to give me thick. I gave it to care for one day, and I thought the next day she's at least gonna cut.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

No, I was like, Yeah, these go right onto my my own keychain. Like, I have keys to his apartment now. This is great.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Like, this is happening.

SPEAKER_05 15:17

Yeah, yeah. That was like I was that to me, it was like, yeah, no doubt. Like, yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Okay, uh, what is one quality that you loved at the very beginning when you first met that you still totally adore in that person today?

SPEAKER_00 15:37

I think she's the most honest person I ever met. Yeah, for sure. She's uh the most honest person I ever met.

SPEAKER_05 15:46

Yeah, yeah, I would say probably something similar, like honesty and thoughtfulness. Like, obviously, you heard he's extremely thoughtful. He is very honest, like very transparent. Fernando cannot hide his emotions if he's mad, if he like that's to me, yeah, like he's white hard rage. Right, yeah. Actually, I think the word is sincerity, like he's just a very sincere person. I think he does what he he says what he means, he means what he says. And to me, his sincerity as obviously, and when you first meet somebody, you don't know if it's genuine, but it did feel extremely genuine to me. And obviously, now five over five years later, I know that he's just like yeah, the most sincere, sincere, honest, thoughtful person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

And we know sometimes that can be rare, right? Like it's it's weird, but in today's world, unfortunately, it's almost like a rare quality, and I think it's so refreshing. Yeah. And also, if you guys are both having the same thing, like both honesty, we have the same thing too. Like it's like there's no hiding, there's no faking or skirting. It's like, let's just say how we're feeling and go from there.

SPEAKER_07 17:02

But I defend that you like took yourself off the dating app. Because that's just like, well, I'm done here. Like, I'm done. Like, why would I be on it? When I I was on Lava Life years ago, like whenever that was.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:17

2000 or whatever, 2005 or whatever. And I remember they had like three categories, and one was like relationship, which is what I was in, and only that one. So I think it was relationship, dating, and intimate encounters. Those are the three. And then when I was dating, if if they were in the intimate encounters one, I'm like, delete. Because like you know, there's no integrity there. Like, you can't be both. I applaud that. I don't know. I applaud the integrity stuff. Like, I would have done the same thing. I'm like, and we're done. I'm my soulmate. All done.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Yeah. What keeps you guys both in love after all this time? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Feeling that we are a true team, I guess. Like she's the most supporting person, uh loving person. So um I feel her support every single day. I think that's the relationship. Keep it this way, like always happy and doing new things. I think uh the supporting stuff.

SPEAKER_05 18:25

Yeah, I think it's I mean, people will say, uh, especially long, like the longer you're with somebody, it there is that like I hate the word like work because work has such like a negative connotation. And I know that there has been times where we've slipped into it where you just get complacent or you take the person for granted. And and it is hard, especially when you start off so strong and you're doing all the things, you know what I mean? Like he was doing all the things, like cooking for me, making me green juice to take home, leaving me love notes in my wallet, like all the things. And then six months later, you know, those little things start to like I don't remember the last time I got like a little note on my a surprise note on my computer at my wallet, but it's like so you still have to like individually keep showing up for each other. And I think maybe we don't do it like as much in like the courting ways as we as we might have used to. I think both of us are such thoughtful, giving people that I will do whatever I need to. If he's busy working during the day, I'll cook lunch or whatever, and like vice versa. Like, we are both equally pro I've heard this people talk about this, how it's not 50-50, it's like 100, 100. And then sometimes maybe I'm at 80 and he's at 30, or like whatever, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 19:39

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, it's cool.

SPEAKER_05 19:40

I think it's like, I think that is truly what makes our relationship work is that we are both 100 with each other. Like I am here for him, 100. I will, I want my life with him for like as long as possible, as long as we are like this. Um, and I think vice versa for him as well. And so I think that's it's just the commitment and the commitment to like, and again, because we felt it like this is not a facade. Like, I am not pretending to be a thoughtful person. He's not pretending to be a sincere, thoughtful person. So I think it's just it's easy to be with somebody for a long time when the person you fell in love with is the person that they actually are. Like we don't have to like pretend we're something that we're not, like you just this is what you get with me. Like, I'm a thoughtful, kind person, so I'm gonna be kind and thoughtful towards you as my partner, and vice versa. So and and fun and adventure, of course. Like, you know, like we have a very fun, adventurous life and we and values. I think that's what I will say for people too, is like we I knew that we connected on our primary, although my value is obviously veganism, but like even above that is freedom, and we both very, very, very much value freedom. And even like below that, right below that, like love and family. And so we have those values that really keep us connected and supporting our relationship.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

I love that. I think I think it's also it's a good reminder for like everybody or anybody listening, like it's normal in life for us to just get into the it's like we're not trying to take it for granted, but that's just life, right? You're getting into the patterns and the routines and what you're doing. And anytime I kind of pull myself out and just observe the act of what someone is doing, like when I witness him in the kitchen, or like you know what I mean, like when we witness what we do for each other, it's like I all of a sudden I'm just like so filled with like love, right? So it's almost like it's helpful for us to remember that because it makes us feel good, even to just be able to acknowledge that in the other, even though we're doing it for them too, but we're doing it for ourselves as well, because it just feels different, I find in partnership when you're really able to just see the person, which is also I think honesty and sincerity, and like when you just see them and you're like, No, I see you, and like you're awesome.

SPEAKER_05 21:58

Yeah, and be in each other's like. Number one champion. Like, I truly want like the absolute best for him and him the same with me. And so we will do whatever that takes to be that for each other.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 22:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Totally agree.

SPEAKER_07 22:12

It's not as you don't even have to ask. It's just like Celeste and herself today. I don't need to solve anything. Just I'll just take care a little bit more today. You know? Yeah. That all happens without any conversation. It's just you just know. This is just a knowing.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm so curious too about more about you guys, too. Like, obviously, it's been a lot longer and there's children involved too. So we like, I feel I still feel like we're relatively young with just five years and and obviously no kids or anything like that. So it's also a lot easier. We don't have, and for the a lot of it, we've just been the two of us traveling and not like not having friends or family around. So yeah, it's well, that's a big one, right?

SPEAKER_07 22:49

Like we know the traveling too, but like that's hard. We haven't traveled as much as you, but man, that's hard. Just creating a new life every couple of months, like like you mentioned earlier. Like, that's sometimes you're not in the mood to do that. So the other person has to take on a little bit more, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:04

And also people travel differently too. Yeah, there's also that. We're both very different, but we find we travel best when we're together, whenever we've traveled separately. His stuff spirals for some reason. So I gotta go for school.

SPEAKER_07 23:16

It looks like I was in San Jose and I was gonna go to the airport. I think I was going to Miami. And like I was in the car, the van, it took it to the airport. I'm like, can you pull over, please? So he pulled over from like my bags down in here. My bag had my passport in it, my laptop.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

He forgot it at the hotel.

SPEAKER_07 23:33

Because I went out like Costa Rica's like just this, it's like Costa Rica time. Everything was a little bit late. So I went, we're supposed to meet the driver at five. I got there at five. I waited about 10 minutes. I'm like, well, it's you know, it started to rain. So I went back to my room to wait. As soon as it came back, he knocked on my door. It's like, let's go. So I just grabbed my bag and left. And my other bag was on the dresser. And anyway, so I went back, ran back. It's only two blocks away, but ran back with my bag. Got it. Like but Celeste will always do the room check.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

And I guess she shocks me for doing the room check, the room sweep whenever we leave. And I'm like, that's why I do it. That's why. Like, you know. And what was weird is even actually the morning that that happened, because it was like 6 a.m. I actually woke up at that time and I was like, he forgot his bag. Like oh, he doesn't want to forgot his bag. Yeah. And so I don't know if I sensed him or if I then told him basically, like, you need to remember your bag. I don't know which one came first, but it was exactly at the same time.

SPEAKER_07 24:36

But now I do a room check every time now when I leave. Every time.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 24:39

You are very that is that that's like ultra condition.

unknown 24:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 24:44

It would have been very bad. Well, I thought I left in the in the uh parking lot too. I didn't even know. I left in my room, thank goodness. By the time I thought I was sitting in the middle of the parking lot.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_07 24:54

It's all good. But yes, we all travel differently. I I can't function off if I'm not if I don't have enough sleep. Like I'm just I'm not there.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 25:03

Whether it's cranky or just absent, but anyway. Let's fix it up.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Yeah. Well, I think that's like a partnership, right? The yin and the yang, right?

SPEAKER_07 25:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Oh, completely. So this is kind of a tricky question, but I hope. So what is a positive quality that you see in your partner that you wish that they could see in themselves?

SPEAKER_07 25:27

Or they don't see in them. You think they don't see in themselves.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yes, but you see it.

SPEAKER_07 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Other people don't see in you.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Or no, like what do you see in me that is a good quality that I don't necessarily see in myself?

SPEAKER_00 25:50

I think she's a really strong woman. And sometimes she she needs to believe more on herself. And I after after all these years, I know that she's a very strong woman.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

Thank you. Yeah, he's definitely always there to support me and push me and um do that. So and I I it's similar, I guess, with him. Like I think it's the confidence. I think that he has a lot of you have a lot of self-doubt and lacks some confidence. And I see that you have so much to offer and you're very smart. And yeah, could step in to show like presenting a bit more confidently.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Yeah. It's a good one. They're both good ones. Well, you got what you're doing. And it's interesting. I think it comes also from entrepreneurship, though. I was gonna say that's kind of been a similar thing with women in entrepreneurship that their partners are like, no, like, do you not see how freaking awesome you are? Like, look what you're doing. But because it's business sometimes and you're wearing all the hats, sometimes it's hard to write. You always feel like you're not doing enough. So I think it's just natural. But um, and yeah, I've actually a co couple of women have seen the same in their men. Like that they wish that they could see actually how incredible they really are, right? I mean, that's what's worked for us. I don't actually know. Actually, I I don't think it what I've been actually I don't have an answer for that one. I've been trying to think about that one for you, what I see in you.

SPEAKER_07 27:32

But I don't see myself, I see everything.

unknown 27:34

Oh, shut up.

SPEAKER_07 27:39

No, no, so for Celeste, it'd be uh sometimes she oftentimes you don't see your value and your worth. You know that already. You know that being continue to do that.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 27:52

She forgets. I have to remind her.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, and I would say that you don't always trust yourself.

SPEAKER_07 27:57

No, no, I trust myself implicitly.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

No, that like no no, I do ignore him.

SPEAKER_06 28:06

I have confidence issues, I know that. Yeah, yeah. I'm overcoming them, but yes. I'm just kidding, I'm very confident.

SPEAKER_05 28:16

Yeah. Okay. At the same time, it's like a charming, like endearing quality because he does, he's not like this bro that has this ego that is like, you know, so it's kind of like this fine line of like, I actually love him even so much more because I see this, like, again, like the sweet sincerity of somebody that is like not this like super out there showy guy.

SPEAKER_07 28:40

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to become arrogant, right? It's a fine line.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

So would you guys have a tip for other couples on how to keep love strong and connected over the years?

SPEAKER_00 28:56

I think a communication is key. Being able to be 100% honest with your partner, I think it has very important communication.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

Yeah, I think the commitment, like I think you have to be 100% all in all the time and again, doing your best not to take it for granted. And if there is anything that's causing any, I don't know, hesitation or resistance, then that's where the communication comes in too. Like, oh, I I don't see myself showing up 100% in this relationship, and maybe here's why or something like, or something that needs to be addressed. But yeah, definitely communication and commitment. I think both people have to be equally committed to the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Yeah, I totally agree. Our story, like we happened so fast because we actually got pregnant even before I technically got pregnant before our first date. Right. So it happened very fast, but it was, it was because we decided, like we were in. So even though all the crap and all the things that we had to navigate of life, we were in. So anytime someone could feel insecurities come in, and we had a lot of red flags and a lot of shit that we still had to work through. But yes, it was the commitment that no one's going anywhere. See, that wasn't even part of the so even when we fought, we fought with respect because we didn't want to add anything new to it. We always just wanted to be like, how do we resolve this so we can move forward?

SPEAKER_07 30:21

And most of the fights were the baggage we were carrying, wasn't really at the other person, you know.

SPEAKER_05 30:26

Of course, yeah, yeah. You have to yeah, be able to be there for that person. And again, when you have like an awareness, you can see, you know, if they're acting outside of themselves or different things like that. And I think along with the commitment is like the priority, so it's like making like he is my number one priority always. Yeah. So that's like yeah, you have to, I think you put each other first above everything.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Yeah, yeah. Totally agree. Do you guys have any advice for anybody that's looking to call in a partner or their soulmate? Any of the single people that are out there.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Be patient. Yeah, all the group are the same. Maybe the right person is out there for you.

SPEAKER_05 31:16

Yeah, I think for me it's be your own, like be the one. Like, I invested so much in becoming the one. You know, I was like, had all the lists and all the things of what I wanted, you know, my partner to be. And then it was like, how do I use that as a mirror? Like, am I 10 out of 10 on this? Am I 10 out of 10 on that? You know, so yeah, I think it's just like be the one, and then because they always say, A the best related. I mean, I don't know what you guys it was like a wham bam, thank you, ma'am, and then uh married for life. But yeah, like when you like I was definitely very much looking, but I also had done, was doing the work. I was working with a relationship coach at that time, which was more like investing in my own self, my own personal growth, just not settling really. I mean, I was like I said, I was 41. Like, people had told me I had broken up with good guys, and my people in my family or my life thought I was crazy, like my dad being like, you know, like you're never gonna find what you're looking for, or like I bel I believe in sort in in like storybook romance. Like I am a romantic comedy love, I'm a cancer, I'm emotional, like I believe in love. I have two love tattoos on my body. Like, I was like, I want a romantic love. And and if I didn't feel that, then it wasn't good enough for me. And I was will like Fernando said, be patient. Like, I was willing to wait, especially because I don't have the driving force where I was like, I I didn't feel my like maternal clock ticking, or like I need to have children by this date. Like, I was like, I just want to find my person. That's what mattered to me the most. And so I think it's just know your worth, know your values, because I think that's what's really gonna make a relationship last is when you have like those connections of like values and what you care about and how you're living your life and your lifestyle. But yeah, be the one, like be your best self, invest in yourself, do the things you love to do. Um, because if you're doing the things that you love to do, you will like probably meet somebody who's also doing those things, and then you already have something like in common or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

But yeah. Well, I think too, what you're saying with that is you you guys were able to move quickly because you weren't wearing any masks, right? There was no pretension, there was no faking it, you weren't trying to be somebody else. You're like, this is me. And so you're like, I like that, I like it, let's do it. Like, and there, I think there's something to say for that also in when you're saying not giving up, because Dave thought he'd given up on having a family. Like when we connected, that's why we were so grateful, actually, that our family happened so quick because Heath was giving up and thinking that it was just gonna be him and his dog at gifts in Vancouver. Same thing. So he was just kind of like, this is it for me, and he'd settled and settled.

SPEAKER_07 34:01

Yeah, I already decided that it's fine, it's just a different kind of life. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

I think that's also key too, is just like be that is like the key thing, especially as someone that has like, I feel like I have analyzed romance and love and dating. And the thing that they that always came to the top was like, you have to not want it. And I was like, how am I supposed to not want it when it's like the only thing that's all I think about it? That's all I think about. And like you like try to convince yourself that you're okay or you don't want it, but it's like, but honestly, it was the same for me. Like it was actually until I got to the point where I was like, you know what? If this is, I love my life, if this is it for me for the rest of my life, I'm actually happy. Like I'm I will be okay. And it's like, yeah, I think it's when which is like again impossible to get to, but when you finally get to that point where you're like, okay, and then the universe, I don't know how this algorithm of life works, but it's like literally as soon as you are like okay with it, it's like, oh, here you go, by the way.

SPEAKER_07 35:01

What are they called? Uh detachment, right? That's all the spiritual coaches say. As soon as you're detached from the outcome, the outcome will come. Yeah, like doesn't make any sense. But that is not how it works, though. But yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 35:11

So do all the things like you want the thing that you want, but then don't actually want the thing that you're trying to get. So it's like this really huge then really don't care about it, yeah, as much as you can.

SPEAKER_07 35:22

Waiting my whole life for this, don't care, and there it comes.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 35:26

Like I always wanted kids my whole life. So to tell to try and tell myself I didn't was of course, but it was it wasn't telling me something to want it. Like in the book, I always say it's just a different life. That was my detaching from it. It's just a different, I was just gonna travel more, I was gonna do different things, and yeah, you know, like a soon as I kind of made that yeah, yes, acceptance, another word, yeah. And then it came.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Yeah, we actually lived a block from each other. I was the eighth in you, he was seventh in you for three years, and we never met till he started at BGH. And then the minute I saw him, I actually knew. I completely knew. I was like, that's him, and I um and he was aesthetically like I was like, yeah, that's him. And he's English and doesn't really pick up on any kind of advances, he still doesn't really pick up on advances, so um it took him a bit longer to notice me. So even in the book, there's quite a few jokes about like my outfits because they were very bright and very colorful, and he's very straight laced and like kind of English and stuff.

SPEAKER_07 36:32

So all blues and grays.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

Yeah, and I was all rainbows and colors. But um then when we met, and that's why when we had the first date, it was like we just knew, like it was just it was just then when that finally happened, we just completely knew. Yeah, and uh but yeah, yeah, I know it's crazy how it can all kind of unfold like that because we weren't really looking at the time. We'd both just decided, like, yeah, we weren't looking. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_06 37:02

Yeah, shutting off our exes.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

And then he thought too, he goes, Well, maybe you wouldn't have noticed me. I'm like, no, I would like for the three years that we live that close. And and he was like, You want to know? I'm like, Oh, I would have noticed you 100%. I would have noticed you. You're like, you had the dog, you had the height, you had the looks, you had all the things.

SPEAKER_07 37:20

Like that coffee shop, that Starbucks, that's U Street. U Street's the one that goes to the beach, and Cornwall's the one that faces the beach. Yeah, that's yeah, yeah. I live like five six blocks from there, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

So him and I used to walk down that all the time. And we never that would have been, I would have been there 2008, 2007 to 2010. And two years about the same too.

SPEAKER_07 37:41

Yeah, so I don't know if you guys were there at that time, but well, I would be there at five o'clock in the morning with a dog and Celeste would be there in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Yeah, like we just realized it was different times, passing ships, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:51

And that is such a small neighborhood, so that's pretty wild that you could live in that same vicinity for so long and not I actually did. I lived at Fifth and Maple in 2011. So might have been around that oh no, sorry, yeah, 2009, because I moved to Port Moody in 2010, so yeah, it was like 2000, 2009. Yeah, I was neighbors with you guys.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Isn't that weird? I know, and it's like if you could look back now and I wonder if there was like cross paths and like I'm sure, you know, all the light endorsing.

SPEAKER_05 38:23

I love that stuff. He was nowhere, he was in I don't know, Rio or Buenos Aires or somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Somewhere warmer in Argentina.

SPEAKER_05 38:33

Yeah, he was in Argentina. He didn't come to Vancouver until 2016, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Well, this has been a pleasure, guys. I absolutely loved listening to you guys and getting to know. And I mean, I know online, like what comes across is the deep respect I find that I think you guys have for each other. Like, I just that comes across like the commitment, but the respect and like just such a partnership, like and love. Like I just and it's lovely to see and it's inspiring, and um, it's just been so great to hear more of the details of how that all unfolded. And it sounds you guys have just such quite a balance for each other as well. And I truly, truly wish you guys everything that you uh hope for and want. Because I know you're both doing you're both you're both doing it from heart.

SPEAKER_05 39:27

So definitely. I'm like crying crying, half crying like the whole time, which is so meaningful to like, you know, we've never shared our story before. Fernando's never even been on a podcast before. So it's like, yeah, it's really special for us to just connect with you and to share some things that I've yeah, I was curious to know his answers to. So it's very meaningful.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

I know, right?

SPEAKER_05 39:50

Super great. I know, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Good, good. It's been an absolute pleasure.