Building a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From

In this episode, I’m reflecting on what it actually feels like to take intentional time for yourself and why this time felt completely different.

After working 26 days in a row, I took a full week off and instead of feeling burnt out, I felt aligned, present, and genuinely excited to come back to my life.

It made me realize there is a difference between being truly burnt out and just being tired from a life you actually love.

I open up about a time in my life where I was burnt out, working a 9 to 5 while serving, feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and not like myself, and compare it to where I am now.

In this episode, we talk about the difference between burnout and being tired, what intentional rest actually looks like, why time is your most valuable asset, and how to build a life you don’t need to escape from.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted or unsure if you’re on the right path, this episode will help you reflect, reset, and reconnect with what truly fills your cup.

Journal Prompts

Am I tired because I’m doing a lot or because I’m living out of alignment?

What actually refills me and am I making time for it?

How am I currently spending my free time?

Am I building a life I need to escape from or one I get to return to?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Driving on the Journey. I'm your host, Julia Hulkrow, and this is a space where we're documenting the messy, meaningful journey of becoming her through habits, reflection, growth, and choosing yourself daily. So wherever you are right now, driving, walking, getting ready for your day, I'm so happy that you're here. So I just worked 26 days in a row. Early mornings, long days, constantly on the go. And then I took one full week off. And going into that week, I thought I was going to feel completely burnt out. Like exhausted, drained, needing to shut off from everything. But that's not at all how it felt. I was tired, yes, I could feel it in my body, but I didn't feel disconnected from my life. I didn't feel overwhelmed or emotional or like I needed to escape anything. And honestly, that surprised me because a couple of years ago, I was in that position, working in 9 to 5, serving on the side, and I remember what burnout actually felt like. It looked like crying more than usual. It looked like being irritable, reactive, not showing up well in my relationships. It felt like I had no motivation to live my life. Not just no energy, but no desire. And this time, it was completely different. So in this episode, I want to talk about the difference. The difference between being truly burnt out and just being tired from a life that you actually love. I want to talk about what this past week off showed me about rest, about time, and most importantly about alignment and why I'm walking back into this next season of my life, not drained, but actually excited. Because I think a lot of us think that the answer is to slow down. When really, it might just be about building a life that supports you in the first place. So I think the best way to explain this is to compare it to a time in my life where I was truly burnt out. I was working a nine-to-five job downtown, and I was also serving on the side at a different restaurant than I currently work at. And I felt so misaligned. I did not think that what I was doing was where I needed to be. I was emotionally burnt out. I was crying all the time. I remember that I was, I had, I remember I had a week off coming up in a few weeks to go to Kelowna, and I was dreading every single day that I had, and I just could not wait to get away. And that's how I knew that it was time for me to take a step back and think about what I really needed and what I wanted. It also affected my relationships. I remember I would call Justin and I would be crying, and everything just was so much, and I did not feel happy at all. I was drinking way more, and I was just unwell. And honestly, that version of burnout, it didn't just make me tired. It made me feel completely disconnected from my own life. I felt the lack of purpose. I didn't know why I was getting out of bed every morning. And I did notice this very quickly, though. I only made it about three months before I knew that I needed to make a change. Because I'm not the type of person to stay in a position that made me feel this way. I knew that there was something else out there. And fast forward a year, and here I am, that wouldn't have happened if I didn't have the courage to stop what I was doing and try to find something that suited me better. Now looking back, I realized that it wasn't just the workload. It was the life that I was living. So my current experience, having worked 26 days and 32 shifts, I was physically tired, absolutely. I know that I needed some time to myself. I felt a bit emotionally drained. I could tell that I was still really happy to be at work, but I was not the usual cheery self- because I was getting a little bit tired. So I still felt grounded, still felt like myself, but I knew that I did need a break. And thankfully, I had these seven days and it has been amazing. So I still felt very grounded, still felt like myself. However, I did realize that I needed more quality time with my family and my friends, and I needed to be in nature. Those are the main things that I was missing in the 26 days. Because when you're that busy, it's hard to make the time for the people that you love, especially because I was taking all the extra time I needed to make sure that I was sleeping and eating and taking care of myself first. Because if I couldn't take care of myself, I couldn't really be there for anybody else. But that's why I knew it was time for a break. Also, in a comparison to how it was before when I knew I needed a break, like I was crying. I was so sad. I was not looking forward to every day. Whereas this time when I needed a break, I actually was still looking forward to going downtown, making some money, and just being around the people that make me happy, as I really do value my time there. But something I noticed was that I was starting to feel a little bit emotionally adrained. And so when I was working in the airport, this was tough because there are a lot of emotions going on, and you need to have that sympathy. But when I was starting to feel a little bit tired, it was harder to be that way. But it's something that I noticed quite quickly. Now, this time I wasn't completely falling apart. I just knew I needed to pause. And there's a difference between being exhausted from a life that drains you and being tired from a life that you actually love. And I think that's why this past week off felt so different for me. Now, in this time, I was fully living. Okay. I got to go to Kelowna with the love of my life, and that is the place that we fell in love. We both work so much, and we work really hard to have the life that we have. But that sometimes means that the quality time is maybe not there. So we've been having to figure out how to connect again. And I think going to Kelowna, everything just fell into place nicely, and it just made sense. And then when we were there, we got to see our friends, which was amazing. We learned a new board game, we went to wineries and we joined a new wine membership. And honestly, for me, wine isn't about getting drunk, it's about enjoying these flavors and this quality time and food pairings. It's it's more of an experience. I don't need to just keep drinking and drinking where I don't remember anything. But I also don't need to be drinking wine every single day. There was kind of getting a point where I started drinking a little bit more than I wanted to, but it wasn't causing me to completely fall off the wag. I'm really happy that I got to enjoy my time at the wineries, but I knew that this was kind of uh, okay, I get to enjoy this moment and experience it. I do need to be mindful moving into this next chapter that I am drinking a little bit more wine than I would like to. And that was a realization that I had, and it was really exciting to come into this first week actually working. And I have taken some days off drinking, and I plan to continue to do that, and I feel way lighter, and it feels really great. And so in Kelowna, we definitely had our fair share of hardships. Our vehicle, the Jeep kept dying, so the battery kept having some issues, and it was kind of frustrating. But at the end of the day, it felt really great because I got to spend some more time getting to know people in our life. I took the time to do some puzzling, and I never puzzled, but they happened to have a puzzle there and there while we waited for our BCAA to come save our lives, and then another time that it died. You know, it wasn't exactly the experience we were hoping for in Kelowna, but we made the absolute most of it because we were living in the moment. We ended up discovering a new brewery. We went for a total of eight kilometers walking back and forth to go get some food. It was definitely an experience, but overall, I think it really brought us closer, and I'm really happy for that time. And then from Kelowna, I went straight to Saskatchewan just to stay at home. He had to go back to work, and then I went to see my friend Kayla. I went to see my sister, my nieces, my nephew, my best friend Krista. Although Saskatchewan is not the most exciting place to visit for me, what made that really special is the quality time with all of my friends and my family. And there was definitely some drama that happened, and it wasn't the most amazing thing. Like life still happens. However, I still made sure that I was living very intentionally and using that time to heal and do what makes me happy because that's what I needed to come fresh into this new work week with these new opportunities and this new chapter that I'm beginning. I also went to the mountains. I took a day with more friends that came to visit me. Like, I don't know how I got so lucky that on my one week I got to see so many people that make my heart feel so happy, and I'm so grateful for that. I'm super, super grateful. So my friend is also moving to Calgary, which is amazing, and I am so happy for that. So she took me out to the mountains. We got to experience that together and be in nature. I got to be next to a waterfall. I got to journal. And the one thing I said I wanted on my vacation was to be by a waterfall. And I made it happen because I knew that when I don't know what it is, when I'm sitting next to a waterfall and the sunshine is hitting, it was a little snowy too, a little rainy, but there were it was so beautiful. The sun cleared up, and I just got to listen to the sound of the water and the birds chirping and having my nervous system reset. That was so essential for me. And that was pretty much the end of my holidays. I went back to work and could not believe that I just spent seven days doing the most amazing things. It felt like time slowed down. Not because I was doing nothing, but because I was actually present for it. I wasn't in my bed trying to recover and sleep the entire day away because I didn't have the energy to move forward thinking that my life, going back, would still be shitty. I knew that going back to my life would be great. And I wasn't escaping my life. I was actually choosing how I got to spend my time and living in the moment. I wasn't taking a break from my life. I was fully stepping into the potential. And that is why I do what I do and and why I work hard as well. Because when you work hard and especially on becoming that best version of yourself and taking that time to be grateful for your life, good things happen. I genuinely believe that. So this week off has also made me realize something really important about rest and what rest actually is. Rest is not doing nothing, it's about doing what refuels you and listening to your body. Now, for me, that meant quality time with the people that I love, time spent in nature. And honestly, board games. I played a lot of games, which made my heart so happy because I like challenging my brain. And when you're playing board games and card games, you have to think a little, and I really enjoy that. With that being said, I definitely want to emphasize the fact of listening to your body because I knew that there were signs that I needed to take a rest because I'm on my feet all the time, I'm running around, and my body just needed some time. So I also, when I went back to work on the Saturday, Sunday, I still worked, but to me it was kind of a day off. I took that time. I pretty much slept the entire two days until I came back to officially off of my break, where I worked a double and then a triple. And now I have a day off. Somehow I got lucky and didn't get scheduled. But those two of days of taking the rest felt like a full reset for me where it really just finished off this vacation. And I'm so ready to come into this next chapter with a lot of intention. And I think it's really important that I acknowledge when you start being intentional with your time, everything shifts because time is valuable. I don't want to spend my life scrolling on social media watching other people live their lives. I want to spend my time on experiences out in the world. I want to choose connection. I want to spend time with people that matter. I want to be in nature. I want to create memories that will last a lifetime. So the craziest part is that this didn't want to make me slow down. It made me want to keep going. And this is why you don't burn out. I didn't avoid burnout because I worked less. I worked more than I ever had. I working 26 days in a row is the most I ever had. Done without a break. And yet I didn't spend the whole time in bed trying to recover myself. I was living my life. The reason I didn't get burnt out is because I am building a life that actually supports me and what makes me happy. And I think that's the biggest shift for me over this past year. This identity shift over time. So it's actually almost been about one year since I started working at the airport and since I started having to wake up early. And who I was a year ago is not even close to the same person I am today at all. And that took a lot of discipline and consistency, but mostly building routines and learning to trust myself. A year ago, I wasn't the type of person who could work 26 days in a row, go see my family, create memories, come back, clean my entire house, organize my closet, catch up on all of the things that I didn't bother to do on my vacation because I was on vacation. I actually took that time to, hey, I don't need to be doing everything right now. I can take a minute and do what fuels me without shaming myself because I know that I will get to it. I just needed that vacation time. I needed that rest and I took it. And now coming back, I have been the most productive I have been in, I would say, probably a couple months. And it feels so good because I took that time. And I also, over the past year, have been building routines like picking out my outfit the night before, planning my day, scheduling it, time blocking in my calendar. I write down in my journal the highlight of my day every single day. I keep track of when I'm drinking and when I'm not. I keep track of my bedtime and my wake-up routine. I did fall off for a little bit there, and that is definitely another bit of a podcast topic that I'm going to be talking about, but I do want to stay focused kind of on the main topics here. And this past year, I didn't just change my habits. I changed who I am. I've become someone who shows up, follows through, and listens to what I need. And because of that, I can walk into this next season of my life differently. I'm returning to work energized, excited. I'm not drained going back to work. I'm not dreading the next shift that I have. I'm feeling grounded, grateful, and super, super excited because there's new opportunities. I'm literally entering a new chapter of my life. And it's all thanks to how I've shown up for myself this past year and adopted this mindset and this identity of who I am. And that is what has given me the opportunities that I have today. And I'm I'm feeling eternally grateful for everything right now. And I'm so excited to see what's next. And I think that's how you know that you're building the right life. When rest doesn't feel like escape, it feels like preparation for what's next. So if you're listening to this podcast and you're feeling burnt out, I do have a few journal prompts that can kind of get you inspired, get the juices flowing, to see where you're at in your life, and maybe see if you are just a little bit tired, or maybe you need to make a shift in your life. Here we are. The first one being, am I tired because I am doing a lot, or because I'm living a life that doesn't feel like me? Next one here. What actually refills me? And am I making time for it? Some examples include, like for me, and I've said this entire podcast, being in nature, spending time with my family, playing games, little things like that are things that fuel your soul. So think about it. And finally, am I building a life that I need to escape from or one that I get to return to? And that one I've been thinking about a lot lately because I actually went into work so thrilled to be there. Not even exaggerating. I was could not stop smiling. I was so looking forward to being at work. And I never really had that feeling before, especially coming back from a vacation. Because usually I'm like, oh, I just I wish I was still back over there. Like I don't wanna, I gotta be back to doing this again. Now I'm like, yes, I get to do this. I am so looking forward to putting my best foot forward and I get to see what is coming next. Okay, with that being said, I think that if there's anything I'm taking away from this past week, it's that rest isn't something you earn when you're completely burnt out. It's something that you build into your life so that you never get there in the first place. Because I didn't feel because I didn't need to escape my life this time. I just needed to step back, refill my cup, and come back to it. And that's such a different feeling. It's not dread, it's not exhaustion, it's alignment. And I think that's how you know you're on the right path. When you can work hard, take a step back, and come back feeling grounded, not drained. So if you're listening to this and you are feeling burnt out, maybe it's not just about doing less. Maybe it's about asking yourself, does my life actually feel good to come back to? And if the answer is no, that's not something to judge yourself for, but it's something to start getting curious about. Because you deserve a life that doesn't feel like something you constantly need a break from. And as always, this is your reminder that you don't have to have it all figured out. You just need to keep choosing yourself one day at a time. I love you guys, and thank you so much for being here. And I'll talk to you in the next episode of Thriving on the Journey.