If you're listening to this the day after New Year's, congratulations, you've survived barely. Welcome to the Emotional Hangover episode. Hair Messy and Expectations Low. We're not doing New Year, new me today. No vision boards and no toxic positivity, just vibes and maybe alcohol. Welcome to Moms and Marks Uncensored. Hi everyone. Hello. I feel like it's been a month off. I feel like. Yeah. I miss, I miss yapping with you. I know. Yeah. We, we can't take breaks anymore. No. Honestly, we're not allowed. We, we didn't talk for over 10 years, but now I can't go a week without you. Yeah. What the heck. I know. Well, tell me all the things. Tell me, how was Christmas? When is the last time you were actually together? I'm like, when is the last time I saw you? We were drinking salted caramel espresso. Marquis. Yes. This is mom's and martinis, by the way. Um, now we're drinking coconut espresso martini. Coconut espresso, Martin. So every time we see each other we drink a martini, but we do not have a drinking problem. I just wanna. Go into the new year. No, I just love a martini clearing that up. Yeah. This is the second time on the podcast. You have put a disclaimer that you, you have to say it that much. It might be a problem. Right. We just love a Martin Martini and especially after the holidays, it makes me sad the, the holidays are over, but I still feel a little bit of the holiday rush. I know. I feel like it's not really truly over until after New Year's. That's when I say like, okay, vacation's over. It's time to, to kick it into gear. But like right now I'm like, everybody's still leave me alone. Well, 'cause right now we don't even know what day it is. It's like that weird in between of Christmas and New Year. Yeah. Like where, what day is it? What do we have to do? Like people are going to work. I don't have a real job, so I'm like, oh yeah, like you work today sucks for you. People are emailing me. I do feel bad for you, but, and I'm like, um. My name's Di. Yeah, thank you. No, no. How was your Christmas? You were at the Dunes? I was at the Dunes, yeah. I didn't have any service. I know that we said we were gonna be doing a lot of updates. Uh, yeah. When I got service, I did update. I, I think I posted my daughter driving for the first time. It was, uh, terrifying and exciting, and I cried because that's what I do. I cry at every moment. Uh, so no, it was, it was absolutely amazing. We were out there, I think for five or six days, and it was just a lot of relaxation. Yeah. Which was so needed. Um, we have a group that we go with, uh, that we spend Christmas with every single year. So they were out there and a few others, and we smoked a pork and we just, all the things ate good food, hung out with people, didn't have anywhere to go. We drank good drinks and I'm actually glad your service didn't. Um, like wasn't working because I feel like you needed that. I, and I feel like if it was, you would've felt obligated to like post and to do things. Yeah. And sometimes God gives you a little sign like, no, you need to actually like truly unplug out here. I do agree. I do agree. I do need to be better about unplugging. Yeah. Um, because I'm always on and when I was working in corporate, I was the same exact way, but at the same time, I am, I'm in a few different brand deals where I'm required to post. So I show and I was like. I'm so behind. Yeah. I have so much to do. Um, so there was a little stress at that point, but while I was out there and you kind of get the motive of like, I can't change this. It is what it is. Yeah. Like you just truly did. You know, you do unplug. So that's, that was nice. That was needed. Um, and yeah, my daughter, dude, she scored. She scored, wait, can I tell the elf story? Yeah. Let's hear the elf story. I have to tell the elf story. She's not gonna listen to this. So, um, I can be totally raw about what happened. Um, and because she can never know, she can never know this. So, um, we pixie the night before we left, pixie is my daughter's elf. The night before we left, she put herself in a jar. Right. Or to take her. Yeah. To, to, to go to the dunes. And um, the jar was by the front door. And then as we were leaving, I grabbed Mila's pillow, her blanket, her stuffed animal. 'cause it was four o'clock in the morning when we left. Yeah. Just gonna go right back to bed in the car. So I grabbed all of that. She was supposed to grab the elf and she was awake. She did not grab the elf. So we're driving to the dunes. We are near Cordite and I look over at Taylor and I go the Elf's at home. We forgot the elf. Oh shit. And I immediately, I was like, mom fail. I was heartbroken. I was like, I cannot believe this happened. Yeah. And so I'm like, let me just put it out there. I text my brother-in-law 'cause he has a key to her house. Yeah. And I was like, Hey. If I can get the other family that's gonna meet us out there, which they live all the way in like almost Gilbert. Oh shit. I was like, if I can get them to come by the house and get the elf, can you go by the house and put it in the mailbox? Like, can we make this happen? Um, and he was like, I'll see what I can do. Yeah. And he did, thank God. Um, so he put the elf in the mailbox. Our friends that were meeting us out there on Christmas day, um, they drove all the way over. They were like operation. They were texting. They get right there. They were like, operation Pixie is a go. Like, yeah, we got this. Yeah, we got this. And meanwhile my daughter obviously has no idea that this is happening because we wanted it to be like Pixie flew to the dunes. It was like you made it into a like Oh, this was planned. Yes. So, um, we get out there day before Christmas Eve. She's heartbroken. She's like, I've never spent a Christmas Eve without my elf. And she was just heartbroken. Wakes up on Christmas Eve. 'cause she was like, maybe she'll come tonight. Maybe she'll come tonight. Wake up on Christmas Eve. Pixie was not there. She was. Devastated. Oh, absolutely. Devastated. Just like wrecked. Um, and she even, I, I was like, Merry Christmas Eve. And she closes her eyes and I was like, are you making a wish? And she goes, yeah. And you know what I'm making a wish for? You're like, oh God. Oh my gosh, dude. And I, I just heartbroken. And this is why I don't do the elf. So the next day on Christmas, they arrive and they go to pull the, like their razor out of the trailer and Pixie is in the front seat with a note that, oh, I saw that video. So sweet. Her face was like, so like genuinely shocked and like, did not expect it. She looked so happy. Yeah. And it said, I can't believe you tried to leave me alone or home alone on Christmas. Oh, good, thanks. And she just, whew. That was a, that's when good friends come in handy because it's like, if you didn't have that village, you would've been screwed. It would've just been a no pixie type of thing. She would've like my just chilling out in the grass. Still, your elf is supposed to go home after he's in the rain. He's, oh my God. All right. Courtney's unhinged. Yeah. Tell me all things about your Christmas. Christmas. We did Christmas Eve over here with all my family, did a little dirty soda and like little bar. It was fun. We just drank. We played games. Smoked hookah, ate a bunch of Mexican food. Christmas morning was just US three here, and River just likes the idea of just like opening all the presents more than actual, like the presents and stuff. He's like, oh, another one, another one. Um, but we did all that and then we went to my parents' house and the whole family was there and my in-laws and my brother-in-law came over and yeah, it was just like a bunch of family, a bunch of eating, drinking and hanging out. Really nice. It was so fun though. But then it's always a downer, you know, like they all go home and that's when you realize, like you start looking on Zillow, like, can we all live next to each other somehow? Some way we like, yeah. And then it's like, oh shit, we're not gonna watch Christmas movies. We're gonna take Christmas stuff down. Tyler had to go back to work and he was off for like almost five days, which is insane for him 'cause he works six days a week. And I was like sad when he went back to work. So yeah, it was, that part is a downer. And then I got a little cold. Um, my sister and I were smoking, we were sharing the same hose of the hookah and then her and I got sick. I'm not sick anymore. It's been like five days. But um, we both were like, oh, we're all like stuffed up, you know, oh, it's allergies. But then it kind of lingered on. And then my friend that came over, she hid out of our hose and she was like, I have like this stuffy note. I'm like, yeah, I think we're all, it's going around. Yeah. So it's going around big time. But yeah, I mean, that's pretty much it. But, but it's sad. I know. It is sad and now it's like a whole new year. But we did have some pretty intense responses to the whole, you know, like what was the hardest thing you dealt with, um, this past year and like, what is a goal that you wanna take into the next year? I was kind of shocked by some of the answers, but before we do that, I wanna hear your, oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. Let's hear it. Um, God, you know what? I think it would be just trying to like battle that, like who I'm supposed to be versus who I wanna be. I know that sounds so generic, but like to dig deeper into that, it's like I have. This super bad habit of overthinking and like wanting to please other people while acting like I'm like this hard ass. You know? And so it's like I will overthink, like someone responds a certain way and I'll be like, um, what the heck does that mean? They feel a certain way about me, or whatever it may be. And then I just feel like I have to live up to everyone else's expectations, whether those are expectations that I've like somehow created in my mind that they have of me. It's a lot of like, I create these different realities in my head and then it's like, oh, that's what it is. And I just, it, it just was kind of turmoil. Mm-hmm. You know, as far as like who, just, just be yourself. Just Yeah. Be who you wanna be. Don't feel like you have to please everyone else. Like please yourself first, and then like work on the rest and show up for yourself instead of that. And that was like very difficult to go. Okay. All right. It's recording again. Yeah, so being a mom too, um, that comes with a bunch of other expectations you have of yourself. Like, you know, everything your kid does reflects on how you are as a parent, um, but that's not truly, you know, how it is. Every kid's made up emotionally differently and like biologically differently. It doesn't have to do with circumstance of how you're parenting, and that doesn't directly reflect on you for everything. So, yeah, I guess the image part, that was the hardest thing for me this year is like trying to portray a different image than what was truly going on and figuring that out. Do you think you've gotten more into the, who gives a shit mentality? I do, but I feel like this podcast did that for me. Yeah. Because I feel like our job here, like what we want for this show is to just show up like super vulnerable and put ourselves out there regardless of what someone might think of what we say. Mm-hmm. And like every time we come in here, I tell you when I leave, I'm like, I feel lighter. Yeah. I feel like I like a confessional, like I'm being raw and honest and I'm showing who I really am. I'm not like. Doing this Instagram story, so Yeah. Yes. I feel like I've gotten a lot better at that. Well, and I feel like too, I mean, we talked a little bit about this offline, but it, it's helped. Um, you know, I, I feel like I've, I've gotten more in that same mindset as you over the years. Yeah. Just being now, like with content creation being my full-time job. Yeah. I can't care No. What people say. Like, and I'm, I'm used to the backlash on the internet. Yeah. Um, at this point. But even like, it's been tremendous for my relationship. It's actually like it's turned corners Yeah. In that too, because it's a whole nother viewpoint that our spouses don't see. Yeah. And then it opens up dialogue and conversation and like, things like that too. And I think it's been just ama I'm so happy that we're doing this. Yeah. Because it's been amazing for like, our friendship. We, we found a friendship through this and I'm so excited for, well not just a friendship, but like. Literally like you've been friends for decades. I feel like I, like we literally could, I could call you tomorrow and be like, you're an hour away. I need this, I need help. I need, you know, like heartbeat. Yeah. And it makes you think like, why didn't we do this sooner? Literally, why didn't we do this sooner? Because it, even like the first time that we met up, it was like two P's in a pod. There was no awkward, no. And we were scared that like, we both admitted like, oh, I thought it might be a little awkward. Or I thought, they're like, how are we gonna do this? Like, nothing we do is scripted. And at first I thought we're gonna have to like script everything as far as like, you say this, you say this, like, how's this gonna work? So that we jive. But really, like it's truly just two people yapping. The dynamic is just, yeah. I'm like, so if you have something, yeah, this is, this is, okay. Take this into the new year of 20. 26. If you have something that you've been wanting to go after and you're scared, stop being scared. Stop. 'cause all you can do is try and adjust. Try and adjust. Try and adjust. And I truly believe that. There's no feeling, it's just adjusting. Yep. And that is the honest truth because this has already helped us so much. We're only on episode, what, five? Five. Yeah. And it's like, if it's not doing anything for you, I'm sorry. I hope it is. But it is doing so much for us. So it's like, I can only imagine like a year from now what we're going to be saying. Oh, I can't wait. It's, I can't wait. Yeah. And we are gonna have a Friendship podcast coming up. Yeah. Um, so, and I really think that that will hit home with a lot of people. Um, but I'll, yeah. Before we dive into these, um, I guess my low point of 2025 was at the very beginning. Um, but it led into a lot of growth on this backend, and that was just. Working a corporate job. I was doing everything that I thought I should do. Yep. Um, I, like, I was trying to fit the mold. I was working a nine to five. Um, I, you know, just very traditional and I was so deeply unhappy and that spilled out into who I was in my relationship, who I was as a mother, who I was as a friend, and how I even saw myself too. Like I was not taking care of myself either. Yeah. Everything was like work, work, work. Um, and yeah, I, I, once I stripped that away and I did exactly what you said, went after what I wanted Yeah. With the utmost delusion, um, possible and literally best way to do it, blew up my life and said, all right, well, like, I'm gonna do this and I have no choice but to be successful. It's the best thing I ever did. Yeah. And it completely turned my world around. And I've seen a quote that says like, if you knew me six months ago, you don't know me today. Yeah. And I think that that could not be more true. Um, a hundred percent. Yeah. Now I think you look back at your, like a version of yourself. Six months ago. And it's crazy when you're in that moment, like, and you're stuck in something, you think like, oh my God, this is never gonna end. I'm always gonna be in this situation. Yeah. It feels like you can't get out of it like quick fan. Like, I'm not getting out of this. This is what it is. Um, same with the seasons of your kids. You know, like when you're going through a hard phase with your kid, it's like, this is impossible. Yeah. I'm failing. Um, I'm not like, this isn't gonna change like this. We're like, yeah, this is permanent. I'm never gonna get out of it. Yeah. And then like a month later you are looking like, oh, cool, we made it. And it's like you can't predict what's gonna happen. Yeah. But like. Stick through it and just at least have faith that like things are gonna get better. Yes. And like most often they will. Right. You've survived 100% of the bad days that you've had so far. So that's not gonna stop now. Nope. Um, well let's dive into some of these answers. So we did ask you guys two questions. Uh, so number one, what was the hardest thing you went through this year? I just wanna say first. Proud of the responses. People that responded and were vulnerable and gave these answers, thank you. Yes, it's going to help somebody else out there, so thank you for responding well, and we all just need to feel less alone. Yeah. I think like when, when we speak up about things, I, I feel like that's when people are like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad that you said that because same, you know, X, Y, and Z feels like everyone else. Like was, you know, having a wonderful year while I was just trying to survive. And we all have those years. Yeah. We all have those years. I think that's my high from this year is some of your guys' responses to some of our episodes saying like. Oh my God. Like, I'm so glad that you said that. Like, I felt like I was failing as a mom, or I felt like I was alone feeling that way about my relationship. I felt guilty or this or that. I read those and like I just am like, yes, yes, yes, yes. Mm-hmm. Like that's all I want. Yeah. Like that's really all we want from this is for someone to feel like related and heard from what we're saying. So when you, we just wanna break through like this image. Yeah. Of like social media, perfection. Like, it's not No. We're all just trying to figure it out. It's lame. It's so lame. You're lame. If you are like just this Instagram image, you suck. But we love, did everybody love you start? I agree. Okay. Um, do you wanna read the first one at first? Alert? My drink. Okay. Yes. First one says, honestly, just keeping it together this year felt like one long, bad week. That's heartbreaking. That is so sad. But like. I feel like for a lot of people, the year flew by, but for some it went so slow. Yeah. And it went so bad. Yeah. Like it just was one of those years that like, I don't know, like either your stuff went right or your stuff went wrong. The AC went out and then Yeah. Like this happened and the car, you know, can't catch a break. Yeah. And then you log in to social media, which is supposed to be this like where you unplug and where your entertainment sources is. And then like everyone's having this great time. Yeah. And it just makes you feel worse. 'cause you're like, well why the fuck am I having such a difficult year? Like why, why God, why that sometimes. Yeah. Why, why? What did I do? Yeah. Is this like a punishment? Is this so like the one, you know, the whole year feeling like a long, bad week? Like, I feel for you, man, that sucks because everyone I think has experienced that year. You know, like, and I know. Um, I mean, we all have our own beliefs, obviously. Yes. I wanna respect every single person's belief, but, um, I found myself like, I found my way back to my faith this year. Yeah. And I think that that has been, um, and not pushing it on anyone, everyone can believe whatever, but I'm just saying in my personal experience Yeah. Just, um, letting go and surrendering to God's will. Yeah. And not trying to force my own path, um, for me personally has been great, but I'm also very much like manifestation. You my, my i, my my, my thoughts and beliefs and everything. Kind of merge a few, you know, whatever. But like I, because we're girls and we're crazy and we are against ourselves and thoughts and like angel numbers and all the things, but, um, but I will say whether you believe in anything or not, I just say, you know, surrendering. Yeah. And just letting life happen because sometimes when we try to control a situation so much, we add so much stress on ourselves. Oh. Families and our bodies, and I'm a control freak. We both are. We've talked about this. Um, so I, I just, you're talking to me. We're having a private therapy session. I know you guys are all intru. She's telling me to stop trying to control everything and Okay. I hear you. I hear you. Okay. This person's goal is to stop pretending I'm fine all the time and actually say when I'm not. That is a really good one that I think everyone can relate to because we, I think especially as like moms and just women in general. Okay. I'm fine. I'm fine. Jessica and you? Yeah, I have gotten better. I used to be that way, but, um, I joke with my sister all the time. She's so like, that, like her life could be crumbling. And I'm like, so how's it going? She's like, okay. I'm like, bitch, what part of your life is fine right now? Like, please do tell. I do feel like I relate a lot with her. Yeah. Like, but sometimes you just have to like admit those feelings that you're having and like, say it out loud, like, I mean, we're doing a podcast. That's, that's the goal of it, right? But like, Hey, no, I'm not okay. Like, shit sucks. This is hard. Yeah. I am blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then afterwards you're like, whoa. Yeah. Like, I kind of feel better. Well, and coming from the person who says I'm fine about everything, um, my biggest fear, and actually it's funny because, and I I brought this up. We've had like, you know, me and my partner have had some great conversations coming off the heels of some of our podcasts. Yeah. And I've always said that I do that because I never wanna burden anyone else. Yeah. And I think that's like a fear that a lot of us people pleasers have. Yep. So I'm calling you out, um, but we never wanna burden anyone else. And like, we want to like, take everything on, on our own, but like, could you imagine, I mean, switch shoes for a minute. Like, if, if you are coming to me and you're just heartbroken, like, I'm not okay, I'm struggling with this. My, you know, my kid is this, I'm dealing with this in my marriage. Or my partner comes to me and he is like, this happened, this happened, this happened. I'm feeling the weight of this. It would be no question. Yeah. That I would want to come in and pick up any weight a hundred percent for, for someone in my life. So I think we collectively, because I know a lot of people pleasers in my life, we'd need to be okay with doing the same. Yeah. Well we gotta show up for ourselves, the way we show up for everyone else. Yeah. Like we wouldn't, like if you came to me and said that, I wouldn't go, oh, no, no, no, that's too much for me right now. I can't help you. The energy's off. So it's like, yeah, like well do that for yourself then. Yeah. Like shop for yourself, like, yeah. And at the end of the day, are people gonna help us? Yes. Like they're not your people if they don't. Yeah. So if you can't like make yourself vulnerable and put yourself out there in that way, then like, reevaluate your circle, bro. That's just what it's, but conversations are hard, but yes, totally admit when you're not. Okay. So the next response we got was burnout. Like the kind where even texting people back felt like too much. Oh. I feel seen, I feel like you have binoculars on me. Dude, I, that one, you know me, I'm so bad at texting back. I texted her twice and I just showed up at her house, and that's what I need. Like, just show up. Don't be like, you didn't text me back. I, you know, like, okay. The tabs on my phone, I have like 160 tabs on my phone. I have like 120,000 emails. That's my brain though. So when I receive a text, it's like, for you, it's like, oh, that's really easy to respond to. But for me, it's like I'm processing my response, then I'm responding to something else. Then I'm opening this tab, then I'm doing this. That's just like, I don't know, a DH, ADHD, maybe. Mm. Self-diagnosis. But it's not like a disrespecting, it's just like a simple. I didn't like sensory process that right. Or something. I don't know. Yeah. And then by the time I go to respond, it's like, well, you're at my door now, so I'll text you back right now. Yeah. But that's a totally valid thing. That is a burnout. Like those days when you get so many emails, so many texts, so many calls, and you just feel like, oh, but you know what's the worst is when you have a day like that, which is every day as a mom. Yeah. I feel like, but you still feel like. There's so much that didn't get done. Oh. All the time. And I don't text pe. I, I like to phone call though. I'm a phone call person. Well, 'cause then you can just answer what, whatever needs to be answered. Let's do it 30 seconds, let's end it. Then I don't have to like, have this expectation. I'm like, fuck. Did I respond? Yeah. Like I lay down at the end of the night and I'm like, oh, someone texted me at 9:00 AM and it's 9:00 PM and I didn't respond. Now it's almost like, do I say, oh shoot, forgot to hit send. Or what do you say? You just, you different, you just don't acknowledge it. Me. And so I, one of my very best friends, um, of many years and we've, we've kind of as adults, like we've grown not. I guess apart, but like I still love her. Really? Yeah. Um, she's one of my favorite people in the world and like I would drop anything for Yeah. But we, we have a text conversation. It's funny 'cause she texted me I think two days ago. We have like four texts back and forth and she's probably gonna listen to this. Um, we have like four texts back and forth over the course of three days. Yeah. Like, because we both are that way. Oh yeah. It just, and you don't acknowledge it. You just, we're both busy. We both have a lot going on, but that's the best. Right? You can't call. Yes. Low effort friendships. Go back every episode. Low effort, friendship. We'll talk about it because Savannah and I just had the same, you know Savannah? Yeah. But it's never like a pressure thing of like, well you didn't respond. Like I responded. She text me Christmas morning, so sweet saying, Merry Christmas. I hope you have a great day, blah, blah, blah. The chaos ensued. And then the end of the night I'm like, oh. I'm so sorry. I forgot to respond. And she's like, that's totally fine. What did river get? Like just picks up. And I'm like, dude, you texted me on Christmas and I was like, I didn't have service. Oh. And I, and you know me. I'm like, you could text me 10 days later and I will all think it's the same day. So I'm like, I'm the perfect friend to do that too. Well, and one more thing before we read the goal. Can we stop in 2026? Normalizing burnout. I feel like we live in burnout culture. Like where it's like, oh, hustle work harder. And I'm like, can we normalize a little bit of peace? Yeah. And just like forgiveness and hundred percent grace. Um, come 2026. Yeah, because burnout I feel like is a little, like highlighted. It is. That's like the the goal. Yeah. But like my goal, I never said my goal for, we didn't, but my goal for going into 2026 briefly very quick is like creating more memories and moments instead of like. I'm always trying to plan things out, like whether it's work or whether it's this, and then when the moment comes, I'm just kind of like, like it's like the, the plan that is like the high of it. Yeah. You know, but it's like, let the high be the actual moment. Yeah. Like, go on more trips, take more time off, do the different things. Like we're, we're gonna, we're gonna die one day. Use your PTO. Yeah. Um, okay. So the goal for this one was to rest before I completely crash out instead of after. Absolutely. Don't have a, a crash out burnout. Explosion like I do. I let everything build and then it's like I just freaking go mute and then my husband's like, everything okay. And I'm like, Hmm. Everything's fricking fine. I'm overstimulated. I hate you right now for nothing. My kid's driving me crazy. Everything's wrong, but yeah, sure. Everything's great. Like don't let it do an explosion. Okay? Yes. Don't do that. It's not healthy. Don't do that. All right. This one says, okay. This is good. I like this one. Got out of a toxic relationship that I stayed in for 16 years because it's all I knew. Just for him to get into a new relationship a couple weeks later, or honestly, probably why we were still together. Ooh, we'll do that one next. Yeah. Um, damn. Ooh. 16 years in a relationship and then you get out of it after almost two decades and they just go and date someone else like a week later or possibly while you guys were still together. That is hard. That's really hard. But, you know, I was, I was in a toxic relationship. The one that I won't dive in too much on. And I'm just gonna play devil's advocate here because I think from the other point of view, like what if you're checked out? Yeah. Like what if you're already checked out and like you've already left the relationship mm-hmm. Before you've actually left the relationship. Because I, in that situation, even though I was a serial dater Yeah. And like I did find a new relationship, I know that I was ready to get into that new relationship because I was already mentally done. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. But that is it. You don't, you kind of hold, you hold your ex-partner. Yeah. Um, like you, you kind of like still are like, well how could they, you know, like, so I do understand like, because yeah, it would be really hard, especially after, you know, 16 years. I couldn't imagine in my relationship now at 10 years. Seeing them like a couple weeks later, like, wait, after we've shared all of this. Yeah. Um, but also like, we don't know the dynamic, you know, like were they, were they sleeping separate? Were they, you know? Yeah. Like, have you guys been emotionally and physically not together for a year of that or whatever it may be. But I think we hold other people to the standards of ourselves. So like, say this person specifically, like they get outta the relationship and they're like, oh, I couldn't imagine dating for years. Um, you hold your partner. Mm-hmm. Your ex-partner to that. Like, okay, well they shouldn't either. Mm-hmm. But I feel like everyone moves at different paces. But I could see how that could feel very like, you feel disposable. Yeah. Like, oh shit. Okay. So two decades practically. Two decades means, yeah. Absolutely nothing to you. Yeah. And you can just like, move on and, and emotionally like unpacked all that and give yourself to someone else in a week right away. But it's probably get over someone by getting under someone. Yeah. Like doubt. Yeah. I'll guilty you of that at some point. I doubt they're in love, you know? Yeah. Like I, but no, because if you're together for 16 years and it ends and then you get into something else, chances are you have not like, unpacked everything that you needed to heal from, from that previous relationship. So you're gonna carry it into your current, and you're probably gonna like, show those same habits that may be resulted in the end of the last one. So actually that's toxic. Yeah, that's crazy. They, they definitely have, you know, whatever it is, you know, they're gonna treat their next partner like they're narcissistic or whatever it is, you know? Yeah. Because you sometimes take out that anger on your next partner. Yeah, for sure. Um, like I, unless you're with a saint, like I, I know with Taylor now, like I, there was a lot of. Toxicity from a previous relationship that yeah, I still am like, hey, and I don't take it out on him, but like I walk on eggshells. Not because he does, he caught that. No. Um, but because it's a habit. It's a habit. Yeah. It became a habit. And I'm like, that's something that we had to work through in this one because I never unpacked it. I never solved it. So it automatically becomes the new person's issue, um, to deal with. Well, and I feel like when you find your partner, like your permanent partner, like that's kind of how it is. They're like a habit pegboard. Like you, like peg all these habits from your last relationship and they do too. And you guys kind of work through 'em together and you figure out how to navigate and how to not like hold that on. Mm-hmm. And then that's how you find out like, whoa, they stuck through like we made it. You, you leveled up, you're gonna stay together. Yeah. But shit, that's still like, that's a really freaking rough thing to go through, especially just seeing someone with someone else. After you've been with them and you've Yeah. But their goal, I do love their goal. It's to put myself, oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm so sorry. Rebuild myself after being codependent on someone for almost two decades. Yes. You need to do that because after being with someone that long, I could imagine you are codependent. Especially if it is a toxic relationship. Especially if it's the only relationship. Yeah. I'm imagining 16 years. Um, we're young, so it's probably the only relationship, like serious one you've been in. Yeah. So codependency was probably a huge issue for the toxicity. Mm-hmm. So like, become yourself again. Figure out what you like, not what they like. Figure out what you wanna do, not what they want you to do. You gotta like rebrand yourself pretty much. Yeah. Well, and especially after 16 years, you are a totally new person. Oh God, yeah. With like new likes and like you're gonna find a new hobby and like you're gonna Yeah. You're gonna fall so in love with yourself, like once you get to know yourself again. Yeah. Oof. And just figuring out like without that voice of that person mm-hmm. What do I really like? What do I really wanna do? Like without their influence. Yeah. And you probably will find that you are a totally different person than you were in that toxic relationship and have totally different desires. So yeah. That is a great, that's. Great goal for that. That is, okay. So my mother-in-law, and I really don't get along. I feel like she's constantly trying to take digs at me and get under my skin. And honestly, it works. Sometimes it makes me think differently of my husband because it feels like he doesn't stand up for me. But I know he's in a hard spot. It's difficult all around, but taking, but taking a toll on me in my marriage, that's rough. I feel like a lot of people go with that. I wanna preface with, I personally don't, I have a really healthy relationship with my mother-in-law that I always am. Like I even, you know, tell my mom and my husband talk about this, like, we're very lucky. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of people's situations are not like this. Yeah. I feel like it's a common thing for like the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law to not get along. It's almost like a power struggle. Hmm. With the son, I feel like, especially if it's like. Their only son. Yeah. Or something. I don't know the dynamics of this, but, um, I feel like I could see that kind of changing your perspective on your husband if he's not standing up for you. But then on his end, his mom is his mom. That's like your top loyalty, like Yeah, that's my top. So that's a really freaking hard place to be in. All. Well, and you don't wanna be toxic too, and like cut off a family relationship? No. 'cause like, I think one of the biggest signs of abuse is they tried to pull you away from your family. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So like, you don't wanna do that either. Um, and I don't really have a dog in the fight. Taylor lost his mom before we got together, so, um, I don't really, I don't have a Yeah. A mother-in-law. Uh, that's sad. Yeah, it is. It's, it's tough, you know, raising a child without that other grandma. Yeah. There. Yeah. So, if anything for me, I'm like, I yearn for a mother-in-law. yeah. So I mean, that, that's, that's tough. Yeah. That's really hard. But I mean, I feel like that could definitely put a wedge in a marriage, but just, but if I had any advice to this person, it would be communication, right? Mm-hmm. Like it might be a simple thing of you sitting down with your mother-in-law and expressing the things that she's doing or saying that you feel like are taking digs at you. Um, and just clearing the air. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of the time, like with me, um, I. Read into things wrong. You know, I read into them and I think they're one way, and then I talk to the person and I'm like, oh man, I've been holding on for that two weeks. I've been feeling a certain way. We've talked and now you're telling me it was something totally different when especially we're all women. So that's what your mother-in-law might be the same way. She may have taken something that you said, or if you and your husband had a little tiff. Yeah, and then he went to mom and told his side of the story. Which also that's like a bad game of telephone. Yeah. And then she thinks that you did X, Y, and Z. You know, like, it, it can be so misconstrued, but Yeah. Simple conversation or addressing something of like, Hey, we are, we're family. Yeah. We're stuck together. You know, like, let's, let's navigate this. Like, I'm not trying to replace you. You're not trying to replace me. No. Um, like, let's, how do we all come together? Because it's not fun for anyone. No. And don't make the the husband get in the middle of it. Yeah. Like that. He, she birthed him like, don't make him, like if he's gonna choose sides, he's gonna choose his mom. Um. But go to the source always. Mm-hmm. Go to the source, be mature, sit down with them if you have a conversation and you express those concerns and those feelings. And from there she decides to be a real royal bee, then like at least, you know, like, I did what I could do. Yeah. And now you have something to go back on. Like, as far as like, okay, well I tried and she's still acting a certain way. Yeah. Like, but I can almost guarantee when you sit down with a mom and talk to her about that, like, I, I think you can resolve it. That would be absolutely advice. Yeah. Absolutely. And oh, I can already tell I like this one or this is gonna Alright. The hardest part, um, becoming a mom and not recognizing myself anymore. I feel like my child is extremely difficult and like I'm failing as a parent. And then I feel guilty for missing who I used to be because of it. I am living that reality right now. Honestly, I'm going through like a really hard season with River. He's three and a half. And, um, I mean, I think it's normal, but I do go through phases where I'm like, is this normal? Does he have a DHD? Is he, is this wrong? Is this wrong? You know, um, the whole Google train, the whole chat GPT, yeah. Every time I ask it's like he's three and a half. There's a lot of testosterone, there's a lot of changing. They call it a three major for a reason, but um, especially during times like this, during a holiday with lots of changing of routine, lots of people coming and then they're going and, um. Candy. I, you know, it's lack of sleep, all the things. But he is so dysregulated right now. So easily triggered. Mm-hmm. So, wound up, um, his little snowman cookie broke in half and it was like a freaking 10 minute breakdown and I lost my cool. I threw it away and said, no freaking cookie. Then I'm done with you. Yeah. Go in timeout, do the, like all the things. Yeah. And I feel like him and I are just constantly like beating our heads against the wall. Yeah. And then I feel like I'm failing and then I feel like I need a break. I miss when I didn't have to feel responsible for you. And then I feel guilty. It's like a whole freaking, it's a dominant effect. Yeah. So that part I think it doesn't go away. I dunno that that's like very helpful, but I think that's totally your I think it does. I think it does. When he. It, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Um, for me it was, it's more of like the physical Yeah. Aspect of not recognizing myself. Yeah. Um, and like I've always struggled with that. I was big into fitness before I had Mila. Yeah. And I can't find the time. Yeah. Like the, like stay in a routine and like take care of myself the way that I once did. Yeah. Sometimes I'm just eating the scraps of whatever she ate for lunch. Mm-hmm. And I'm not doing my protein goal and all this. Um, but as far as the difficult stages, we navigated that. We went through it and it's really freaking hard. Yeah. Um, there's a lot of times that I just cried, um, or. Yeah. Like I, I just felt like I couldn't make her happy. We couldn't see eye to eye. Yeah. Um, it in turn has fed into a great relationship. Yeah. Um, that we can talk through things, but, um, I'm not gonna discount the fact that some days, weeks, years are really freaking hard and you're just like, and then you feel guilty needing a break or needing a minute. Yeah. And, um, but like, you have to make sure your cup is full to take care of your kids. 'cause otherwise you are meeting them in their like tantrum, whatever it is. Yeah. With a really short fuse. Yeah. And like, I, you are tantruming to their tantrum and you're expecting a non tantrum. Well, I think, I think the biggest thing that I learned through the hard stages was I, I, I was expecting her to handle her emotions like an adult. Yeah. And um, like when it's my job to teach her how to navigate her emotions, and I was like, well, you should be doing X, Y, and Z. How is she gonna know Yeah. To do X, y, and Z? So I think that's like one of the biggest things that I had to like, navigate and learn and like actually was like a punch to the gut for me that I'm like, Hey, you're meeting her in a space like an adult. Yeah. You want her to respond like this. She's not mentally at a capacity to regulate the way that we do. And let's be honest, the way that I'm responding to him sometimes is not very regulated myself that. So, um, yeah, I mean I act like so immature sometimes where I'm just like, just go to time out then like, why are you doing this to me? You know? Like you take it personal, but I remember a long while ago, um, I think whenever it was like one and a half, I randomly reached out to you because you were talking about dyes and stuff. And I was like, Hey, like my son seems very hyperactive, this and that. What do you say about dyes? And like, I remember you talking about having a really hard time with her. With that. Yep. And it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, when you're in it, it feels impossible to get out of like you feel like, why me? Why is this happening? Why is everything so difficult? Yeah. And then you move to the next phase and you know, it just. I'm still crazy about dyes. Yeah. And and now she is as well too. Like, it, it's, yeah. River started saying that. Yeah. Does that have red dye in it? Does it have red dye? Yeah. No, it's, when we were at the dunes, she got an ice cream and she was like, it does have blue. It does have blue and it does have yellow five. And I'm like, that's fine. We're on vacation. Yeah. Like it, but just be cognizant of it and, and maybe not all kids, but dies, diddys and sugar make a really, really big, um, oh yeah. Like they, they change her, her attitude quite a bit. And not even her at, not overall her reactions to things. Oh, that's, it's the rollercoaster that I notice that I like. We're gonna go ahead and, and, and that's river. He's just, um, this week and, and I feel like we all get this, like during the holidays, I don't, I can't speak for everyone, but I get anxiety, like a little bit of like, okay, we're going around these people and we're going around this, and we have to kind of navigate where we're going and what we're doing. And like you do build up that little bit of anxiety because it's outside of your normal routine. Yeah. And it's like, well, we can't expect them to not be the same, but like it's gonna be heightened for them. Some kids deal with that really well, but like I said. Biology makeup is different. It doesn't have to always do with like what I did as a parent. It's just like he emotionally is made up different than the same kid his age. Right? Yeah. Like he might just process sensory stuff different than him. So I can't say, oh, I'm gonna compare to him. And she didn't freak out when her cookie broke and he did. So he's not right in the head. No. It's like I'm not gonna respond the same way that you are. Yep. I'm probably gonna be a lot more explosive. No, I had my it it comes with the age. Yes. It comes with the age. Any three and a half. Exactly. Exactly. So I mean, it comes with the age, but I can't remember that when I'm in it. Yeah, that's the problem. So I feel this, I feel, I hope you feel seen. I hope you know that like there's probably way more moms out there feeling this way. Um, I. Your goal was to let myself evolve instead of trying to get back to the old me and make my child perfect. Yeah. Don't, don't try and make that, that image perfect for anyone else. Um, I've done that. I've been there. I've felt that way. It's not, your child isn't supposed to be perfect and we aren't at 30 something, so like, let's not make that expectation for them because they're gonna grow up feeling that way. And like we are going to condition them to feel like I have to be this way and this way and this way to everyone else, because that's kind of how my mom always made it. And that really fucking tugs at my heart when I think about that. Like, is he gonna feel that way? I don't ever want him to like, worry about his image to anybody else, but it's like. What I'm worried about is image to everyone. So like how I gotta like recondition myself. So Yeah. And it, and that's, that's what I'm dealing with at this point in time. Yeah. Um, because like I feel like I've, you know, I came down to an extent, I, I, I like being a strict mom also because it has made her, she's extremely respectful. Yeah. She, she has boundaries. She has really good self-awareness, um, about things. But there are times like where, like going to the store in the morning where she's like, I need to take a shower and get ready. And I'm like, wear your pajamas. Yeah. And she's like, but I want, like, I want my hair brushed and I want like this. And I'm like, there's like a fine line. I'm like, I also like want you to be a kid. Yeah, yeah. Like, you, you don't need, you're not trying to impress anyone at the store, but it's like, did I grade that? Like, did I, yeah. Like you can wear sweat. I wear, I'm wearing sweats, so I'm like, you can wear sweats, it's fine. But, um, just, I don't know. It's such a balance and no one's ever gonna get it right. No, that's it. No one's ever gonna get it. And it's just hard being a mom, period. End of story. Yeah. Um, next one. Letting go of a relationship I knew wasn't right, but stayed in anyways because starting over felt scarier. Mm-hmm. We've all been there. Yeah. You are seen by literally probably every single person that is listening or not listening. Mm-hmm. Everyone has been in a relationship. They stayed in way too long because it was comfortable mm-hmm. Before they found something else. Um, because it just felt like what they knew when deep down you knew, this ain't right. This ain't long term, this is not healthy. Yeah. So I, I think that's a really normal, um, hard thing to go through. Yeah. Well, I mean, 'cause yeah, I mean like this person probably just doesn't know what's on the other end. No. And then you start, you know, playing the game of like, is. The grass greener or like, is this, you know, like, but if you know in your heart of hearts that it's not good, it's not healthy, it's not what you see for your future, then just leave. Yeah, just leave. Um, the goal is to trust my gut faster and stop romanticizing red flags. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like you try and create these red flags. You try and say like, oh, no, no, no, no. They're green. It's just something I'm doing to make them red. No, a red flag is a red flag period. A stop sign is a stop sign. Right. We don't question like, do I stop here? No. So a red flag is a fucking red flag. Yep. These are deep. They are deep. Okay. I lost my mom unexpectedly. That's fucking tough. Dude. I am so close to my parents. Um, my mom is like, sh. I love her to death. That's my best friend. Like, I just, I, I don't even wanna think about that. Okay. I really don't. Um, so I am so sorry. Like, there, there's nothing else to go through that it's just unimaginable. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we shouldn't have to, to bury our, our parents and our parents shouldn't have to bury their kids. So it's like there's no, there's no win in that. I literally, I can't wrap my head around the thought of that. No. Because my parents are my best friend. Yeah. Like, they're my very, very best friend, so I'm so sorry. Yeah. Like, yeah. I'm like, the only thing I can say is like, to love that fiercely and to like, feel the void of somebody that deeply Yeah. Um, means that you love really, it's a blessing. Yeah. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, and it probably won't for a while, but like, the fact that that void exists means that like, that relationship was so deep, so like. Just, you know, you're lucky to have experienced that. So Yeah. And the goal, the goal is to be more present for my kids. Yeah. I think every mom, I think that's all of our like goal. I think it's a never ending goal, right? Yeah. Like we never feel like we're present enough. Or there's some days where like I work from my phone or my computer or my iPad, and I feel like that's just all I'm doing every day. Yeah. And he's coming to me for things and like, there's been times where he grabs my phone and is like, no more phone. And it's just like, whoa. Like you feel disgusting? Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm looking at this screen and whether it be work or not, it doesn't matter. Like we have to prioritize things differently. Like Okay, then create a space where like I'm working and then I'm, I'm. Solely giving my energy to this. Like Yeah. But that's the generation we're in, where it's like, spread yourself thin, spread yourself here, here, here, and here. At the same time, you should be able to do that because that's who you're supposed to be. People lost it. Yeah. No, but it's not, yeah. Like, let's normalize giving our energy to things independently. Yeah. And not just 5% here, 5% there, like, no. Yeah. Woo, stop. Normalizing burnout. Um, age. Oh, this one. Um, being lonely in a room full of people and not knowing how to explain that to anyone. Ugh, that one. Yeah. Um, that one hits home. Um, but that also kind of like leads into something I'm leaving in 2025 and that is, um, stop saying yes if I mean no. Mm-hmm. Like, so, um, I'm, I'm being dead serious. Like there's, there's events that I've said yes to. There's, you know, things that I said yes to, like, where I. I just go because I felt bad saying no or not having an excuse to get out of it. And then I go and I'm like, my gut was right. I don't want to be here. Yeah. I don't feel comfortable here. The energy's off, or I'm not driving with anyone. Or like Yeah. I'm in a head space where I am so burnt out. I am so overwhelmed. I, I need to stop spreading myself so thin. Yeah. And like saying yes to these things. 'cause right now I'm in this space, but my head is elsewhere. Yeah. Or like, I would rather be home with my family. Don't be like, don't feel guilty about saying, I would rather don't say I would rather, because like, that sounds rude, but like, I, um, like I, at this time, like I, you know, I'm, I'm actually just gonna hang with the FAM tonight. Yeah. Like, and that's okay. Like you're, that's okay. You don't need to say yes. You don't need, no. You also, let's also leave over explaining. Yeah. In 2025, you don't owe me one. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. Period. You suck. I don't wanna be there. Okay. We are very different people. Um, I don't, no. Period. You are really cool. But I don't wanna be around you right now. Still harsh. Okay. Still harsh. You know, we're gonna work on this. Everyone my life knows that I am the like no queen. Um, I've gotten better. I think we're like the opposite, but like, if I don't, I'm just like, no, I'm not gonna do that. I may cancel last minute type of gal. I'll do that too. But I've gotten better at just like immediately if I know I'm not gonna do that, I'm just like, no, thank you so much for inviting me. I don't need to tell you why you don't, you don't need to know that. You don't. And if, if me satisfying you is gonna dissatisfy myself, then like it's a no go for me. Yeah. Like when you think of the plan and it makes you feel really overwhelmed or anxious and like another to-do, say no. Yeah. And I, when people are like, it could be for me, like there might be certain people there that I'm just kind of like, it's not that I don't like you, I just don't enjoy your presence. And it'll be like, well, you shouldn't let that keep you from the rest of the people. No, sometimes it will. Yeah. Sometimes I don't wanna be around that person then I'm not gonna be around the rest of you this time. Yeah. It's just my energy. It's just to help save my sanity and that's okay. Don't make me feel bad about it. Yes. So the goal is to be more honest about how I'm actually doing, even when it's awkward. Yep. And if you, if you need to like be a recluse for a little bit because it saves your mental health, then that's okay. Yep. That's okay. Like stop. Don't, I don't wanna hear any of, any of you bitches. I don't wanna hear. I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend. No, I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm sorry. Don't apologize for any of that. You do what you need to do. Can make your mental health better. Yeah. Okay. That's. Doesn't it? Exactly, dude. Oh my gosh. Okay. These are heavy. This last one is okay. Okay. Alright. Having a miscarriage and struggling to get pregnant and wondering if I emotionally can even handle the fear if I did. Oh, ooh. Um, we're ending on a really, really, really tough one, but I feel like one that a lot of women have maybe experienced and not expressed. Um, yeah, some people are more open about, you know, miscarriage and loss and things like that. Um, I'll say for myself, like, I have experienced that and I felt really like, ooh, I don't know the feeling. I never wanted to share it like with the world 'cause it felt too heavy to do like, um. But that's a super hard thing to go through and then to try and get pregnant afterwards, but also carry that fear of like, what if this happens again is so valid. Like that is so, like, there's no way to explain that feeling. It's so terrible. It's, it's, it is. Um, but like, and no one also talks about how it carries into when the baby's here too. Yeah. Because, um, I didn't talk about it. I had multiple miscarriages before Mila. Yeah. Um, so I was with a high risk doctor and, which means thankfully I did get to see my baby a lot. Yeah. Um, we had a lot of ultrasounds, we had a lot of things. But with seeing them a lot and being at the doctor's a lot comes with a lot of anxiety. Mm-hmm. Of like, what am I gonna see on this next ultrasound? whatever it was. Like there was always something or you know, your baby's breach. Like there was always something. Um, but then like, okay, great. So she's finally here. And then I'm like, but like, how do I keep anything from happening to her? Like, yeah, there's so much anxiety. Um, and I don't say that to like scare anyone, but like, I just want you to know that if you are experiencing that, like you can be really thankful to, you know, if you do end up carrying, um, but like, don't feel like you have to like, I don't know, like, like have like this bliss. It's okay. Yeah. It's okay not to be okay. And I know like we talk about that, but like all of that's normal. You can be. Navigating this and scared, you know, to potentially carry, or, yeah, whatever it is, any of the feelings are normal. They're all normal percent, and like there's no perfect way to handle this situation. Miscarriages. The only thing I can say is miscarriages really fucking suck. Yeah, okay. They're really fucking heartbreaking and no one, I think we normalize. Having a miscarriage, unfortunately, it has become so normal. Yeah. Um, in our society that like, oh, you had a miscarriage No. On to the next Yeah. It's a loss. And like, it's like, well, how far along? Oh, you are only seven weeks. Oh no, it's, no, it doesn't matter. Yeah. And like, it's, it really fucking sucks. It really fucking hurts. Yeah. And, um, yeah, like my heart just goes out to you. It's, there's no perfect way to navigate this, no matter what stage. Getting that positive pregnancy test and then knowing that it's no more, it's like, it doesn't matter what stage it's at. I, I remember vividly, it was right before my transfer was scheduled with River and I was on a work trip. I, I worked for Billy's place at Grief, um, center and um, I'm with these girls and something just felt weird and I stopped in the middle of the conference and I went to the bathroom and I took a pregnancy test. I always had 'em with me. I did IVF. That's just a normal thing. And they were pregnant. And I called my coworker in and I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God. Like, what do I do? What do I do? The whole way home, we had to drive six hours home from California. I'm like, oh my gosh. I get back, I take the pregnancy again. It's still six hours later, I'm still positive, you know, and days to come, I'm going. And of course it falls on a freaking weekend. I can't go see the doctor. Oh, I can't see you until this day. So it was like a couple weeks before I could get in, and they, they were still positive, had my HCG done. And they're like, you know what? You actually were about eight weeks pregnant. But you, you know, it, it didn't hold. And I just remember feeling so defeated too, you know, like, okay, body, why? You know, like you did something that was like remarkable for you to do, especially my body because I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant. Like, you did that and then it didn't. It didn't last. And then I just remember constantly thinking, and I still randomly think, you know, what would that baby be like? Or what would, like, how old? Like, you know. Yeah. And there's different things that you go through and there's different emotions that still get brought up later down the line. And it's like nobody can tell you how that's supposed to feel or how to navigate that. Everyone is so different. And the only thing that is consistent or the same for everyone is that it's fucking hard. And that's it. Like it truly is. And all I can say is going into your next pregnancy, if it is, just try and be present and try and be hopeful and try and just remember that it's a different situation and there can or will be a different outcome. And that's the only, I mean, that's really the only advice I can give. Yeah, that's, that's, that's a hard thing. I'm sorry you went through that. You know, we as women are very resilient. Um, this, ooh, this was a lot you guys. All right. So we, I feel like, you know, like when people write things down about their year and then they throw it in the fire. Yeah. That was it. I, that was it. This was our, this was our bonfire moment. We, we are a fire. We are, we are the fire. We are the fire. Um, we, this one especially, but, um, this, um, she's the feisty one. So this was a lot. Um, I think, you know, this is just a snippet. I think everyone, though, we all deal with stuff. We've all gone through a lot. Oh yeah. And this year presented challenges. And next year will too. It just is a, it's a part of different phase, right? Different phase. So, um, for me, I just feel like I feel so much closer to our audience just from like, we just unpacked so much. And so many people were so vulnerable. And I feel like a lot of you out there listening are probably thinking like you could relate to some part of anything that we said. Right? Yeah. And I hope you can just take that and feel a little like less alone when you're feeling those feelings. Yes. That's really the goal. But, well, and we did also talk a little bit about navigating friendships Yeah. Um, in this as well too. So I think next week Yep. Let's deep dive on friendships. Yep. And especially navigating friendships in your thirties, forties, fifties. Yeah. We can speak on thirties at least, but, and through all the different life phases. Yeah. And not just the, you know, it, it's not all pretty. Let's be honest, like these friendships are not all that they crack out to be online. So let's deep dive a little bit into that. And you know, later on we will have guests as well. We will be, you know, talking to different men about their perspective on something. So we have a lot of fun stuff in store for this new year and we just hope that we are gonna laugh next week. We are gonna do some real laughing, okay? We're gonna tie some laughing into this. Um, but yeah, we just appreciate you being here and we are so excited for the new year and all the different shit that it's gonna freaking spin up. We can't fucking wait. No, we, it's gonna be a good year. We will be here for it all. There is your saving grace or don't you worry, or for downfall. I don't know what, I don't know us, but we love you. Jinx. You want me to go?