Oversharing about…friend guilt, adult friendships, seasons

Making and maintaining friendships as an adult isn’t easy and adding kids into the mix only complicates it. In this episode, we talk about friend guilt, drifting from old friendships, and figuring out how to build new ones that actually fit your life now. Honest conversations about evolving friendships, choosing alignment over obligation, and giving yourself grace as your world changes

Transcript

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I am court and I'm Jess, and this is Moms and Mars Uncensored. Welcome back. It's officially January, it's 2026. Cheers. Cheers to that jinks again. You know, this is really becoming a problem. What are we drinking? Oh, okay. We're drinking these coconut espresso martinis, but we threw a little throwback on it and she threw some Malibu in there and I don't know if you're like a nineties babe. Then Malibu was like a thing back then. Like I was just telling her I would take shots and shots and shots of that at the river with my cousins and it like just the first drink took me back. I think like for a lot of us, Malibu was the first alcohol we ever tried. Yeah. Like I was way too young when I tried Malibu for the first time. And Yeah, I think, but it's growing on me. It's growing on me. One of my favorite influencers, her name is Krista Horton. Oh yeah. And love her. I do too. So she actually, um, she drinks Diet Coke and Malibu, so that's where I started. I tried that and it was so good. And then she came out with these, she got rid of 'em. They need to come back. So if one day she is listening to this podcast, they're called Horton Rum, like prefix drinks. Yeah, I saw those. Yeah. Yeah. So I used to keep those in the fridge, but it was like pineapple soda and Malibu. Ooh. Diet Coke and Malibu and, um, lime soda and Malibu. Good. And it was like a whole variety pack. Yeah. Yeah. But they were like 9% out called. So you can only have one or two. No, I'd be freaking done. But, but shit, it's so, it's 2026, the holidays are over. How are we doing? How are we. Are we thriving? Are we thriving? Surviving, surviving, thriving? What do you I actually feel like we're thriving. Yeah. I am thriving over here. I, my daughter's back in school, so I went back to the gym yesterday. Nice. And um, Christmas is taken down. Yeah. Which hurts my heart, but also like, feels really good to declutter. Yeah. As well too. I don't know about you, but like I kind of go into psycho cleaning mode. Oh yeah. Like we kick off spring cleaning right away. Yeah. No, I took down all the Christmas stuff and we did it gradually because it made me sad. Like, I hate it. I don't know why, but then everything came down and I was like, my house feels so much bigger, so much cleaner. And now I'm like, we have like no decorations anywhere. So I'm going into that whole, okay, we're gonna do a house mood board and we're gonna figure out how to decorate and we're gonna do a gym in the garage, you know? Okay. Wait things, we're the same person because, um, we now are turning our spare bedroom into an at-home gym. Yeah. And I have like a full mood board for it. Actually, I'll show you after this. Um, but we're gonna do like, kind of like dungeon dark and the only lighting in there is gonna be neon signs. Oh, I like that. So. Another favorite influencer of mine, um, her, her name is Brie, so she actually did that. She only has red neon, like motivational signs, like Ooh. Like get it girl, you know, sweat it out. Yeah. But they're all in red. Yeah. Around like, so it's all red lighting and it looks so dope in there. I like that. So we're gonna do that. And then I'm actually getting rid of the millennial gray in my house, and we're switch, we're bringing in like a lot of like woods warm lighting. Yeah. All of the things. Yeah. I'm wanting to do all that, you know, and the new year comes and it's like, I want a new wardrobe. I want new decorations in my house. I want this, I want that. I want that. It's like, you know. Yeah. So we're gonna keep spending money after Christmas. So our new year is starting with us. Overspending and divorces are pending because the husbands are not gonna like that, but No, no they're not. No, they're not. So do you feel like, do you feel refreshed or do you feel like the emotional, like whiplash, like holidays are over, get back to the grind? Like how do you emotionally handle coming back from the holidays? I feel like it's a mix of both. I feel like every time a new year starts, I'm totally depressed that like the holidays are over just because it does bring, like all my family, we do so much together during the holidays and then everyone goes home. And so that's just kind of sad. And then just the like, oh, it's Christmas and we're watching movies this weekend and we're doing a fire. So like the nostalgia, like cozy feeling is gone. But I'm also feeling refreshed in the way of like. Okay, we're going into a new year. There's things that I don't want to carry into this year. Mm-hmm. Like I don't wanna, I don't want another year to go by and be like, I'm still doing this, this, and this that I wanted to drop, or I'm not doing this, this and this that I said I wanted to do. So I'm feeling motivated in that sense, like, let's get it done. Let's do it. We also started our podcast during such a busy time that like, oh yeah. Now I feel like, like it was, we found the time Yes. Obviously to like get together and spend quality time. But we spent a lot of quality time together and then we dropped the podcast. Yeah. And then it was like holidays. Yeah. So like I feel like now we can like deep dive and actually like pour what we need to pour into Yeah. This podcast as well too. Not spread ourselves so thin and give the 5%. 5%. Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. Yep. Yep. I feel that. So yeah, we're gonna build on our friendship, which leads us to today's episode, which is all about. Friendships in your thirties. I'm gonna drink to that because Same and after. After becoming a mom. Oh, that's the hardest stuff, right? Because like friendships look so different when we were in our twenties, right? Because we were responsible for ourselves and you just didn't care. You didn't have as many responsibilities and you didn't care about as much stuff. So it was like, oh, I only have, you know, $200 in my bank account. Yeah, let's go get a freaking, let's go have a hotel party. Let's go do this for the weekend. Let's, you know, fly off the handle and go party until 5:00 AM. But now we have kids and now we have spouses, and now we have homes, and we have mortgages, we have all these things. We have budgets. Yeah. And it's like. It's not that easy anymore. Mm-hmm. So it's a night and day thing from twenties friendships to thirties friendships. Yeah. Like, it, it makes 'em harder to maintain because that simplicity of it is now very difficult. It is. Because a lot of the time it feels like an obligation. Yeah. And I know we're gonna dive into this a little bit more, but I just like when you were talking, it just made me think of like, I almost look forward to like the birthday, like the kids' birthday parties and things like that to like catch up with the mom friends. Yeah. Um, and like have like someone on one time with them during that because I'm like, all right, the kids are getting along, the kids are busy. Like I don't have to like carve out so much time outside of like the family life. Yeah. Um, which like. We all, we work, we have family life. Yeah. Like there's a lot going on. So like sometimes you feel like you have to like carve time out of that to like go spend time with friends and it's like, then you feel guilty. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, well my energy should be shifted to like after work and after this and that and the checklist like. I should be spending time with my husband and my child. Mm-hmm. And now I'm taking time out of that to go spend with a friend, which, yeah, we should be doing that. But again, it just feels like another thing that you add to that checklist. So it does like damper the friendship a little bit. I feel like it does like, but also too, I think it's comforting to know like that a lot of us are in the same space. Yeah. And like that's why we wanted to talk about this today, because I think a lot of us, we. No one says it out loud like that. Like it can feel really like I'm not texting back, not because of you, like I'm texting back because like life is just a lot right now. Yeah. And it's really overwhelming and like I'm spread super thin and it actually, like, I love you so much, but I don't have the capacity Yeah. To talk to you right now. And I don't have the capacity to barely talk to my spouse right now. Yeah. Um, and I, I just don't think enough people talk about it because the amount of us that feel friend guilt, they, yeah. Everyone talks about mom guilt. Oh yeah. No one talks about friend guilt. Oh, it's a thing. It's a thing. It's a real thing. Yeah. And I feel like, you know, back in the day, in your twenties, you wanted to be friends with everybody, right? Mm-hmm. Like the bigger your friend circle, the more popular you were or it just made you look. Way better than you were like, oh, she's got like 30 friends that she hangs out with. Dang, she must be now. I'm like, I don't, I don't do like a whole freaking count of like, my friends like that. Actually to me, if you have like a thousand friends, I'm kind of like, hmm. Like you're spreading yourself all through them. Like how are you, how can you be such a good friend to 500 friends? Like yeah, I just, I don't know. That's a red flag to me. Red, red flags in friendships. Uh, for sure. And something that we were just talking about offline was like the importance of like, and I guess not really the importance, but. Dedicating your, or pouring yourself into individual friendships? Yes. Um, you know, I, I've been around friend groups. Um, I sometimes envy friend groups, you know, like when it comes to like, I want to be involved in things, but like, also at the same time I've seen like the drama can bring Yeah. Um, as well too. And, um, I just really, I don't know, as I get older, I just really appreciate individual friendships. Yeah. Well, I mean, like when we leave here, I'm not thinking like. Oh, she's gonna go and talk crap about me. You know, because there were other people involved and maybe they Yeah. Heard something I said and later they're gonna talk about it. Yeah. I don't feel that way. Friend groups. I feel like they, they just take me back to high school, honestly. And it can be fun if you are just like doing like a happy hour and having fun. I feel like there's some friend groups where still to this day in your thirties and moms, they will go afterwards and be like, did you hear what so-and-so said about their kid or about their spouse, or, what do you think about this? Like, they just take it as like a, like, we're just gonna go back afterwards and talk about all that. And that's kind of what scares me about friend groups. In the current like day and age, there's nothing that grosses me out more and like just makes me sad because I don't ever leave this room and talk about you negatively. And I, or my best friend Tara, or my best friend Hannah, like my, I'm thinking of like my closest friends and like, I never leave and want to go say anything about them, but I've been in spaces like where I see friends talking about other friends and I'm like, do you know how lucky you are to like have a friendship that survived? Yeah. You know, years and. This and that and that. And then also too, like as someone who is a little insecure Yeah. You know, like, it, it makes me, I'm like, okay, well then like, can I not, is this not a safe space? Like, can I not Yeah. Like, you know, talk about my life. Exactly. And like, what, what version of myself, do I need to be in this group for you to not go afterwards and say this, this, and this. And I don't, I'm too old. I don't wanna filter myself. No. For any, I don't have the energy to filter myself. Honestly. I don't either. Like, especially when you have kids, you just don't have that energy. No. Well, I mean, that goes into like. We've done this and I, you've come in here before where I'm like, fuck, I was wishing you were gonna cancel this morning. I don't have the energy to put into it. And then we do this and we're like, oh, okay. Good thing we didn't cancel. Yes. But there's that guilt that comes with that too, right? Like you, you go all day and you battle yourself. Like you have a plan that night with a friend and you're going all day and you're just like, oh, I have so much going on. I have so much this, and then I gotta go home. I gotta get ready, I gotta get dressed then. Then I have to hold this conversation with this person this whole time, and I don't feel like it. And you're battling like, should I cancel? Should I not? And then when you do cancel. You feel relief at first, and then when you're sitting at home doing nothing and you're like, you are like, fuck. Like, why did I cancel? Like, what was that like a moment or a memory that I would've created that I would've been like, shit, I'm so happy that I went. Yeah. So there is that guilt that comes with friendships these days as far as like canceling plans, not responding, um, just not putting all your energy into it because you don't have the energy. But there is that huge, like, friendship, guilt, it exists. Mm-hmm. You know, marriage guilt exists, kid guilt exists, but like friendship guilt is so strong in your thirties, at least for me. Yeah. So it's a, it's like a hard. Everything is so hard to balance. I feel like it's so hard to balance and I, I mean, I feel, I feel like I feel guilt either way. Um, I feel guilty if I cancel. Mm-hmm. Um, because then I'm like, they're not gonna wanna talk to me. I'm not gonna be invited to the next thing. I know I'm a flaky friend. Yeah. I already know that. And it's not like it's, it, it's not 'cause like, I don't wanna hang out with people, but it's because like I, my cup is running empty. Yeah. Like I, I naturally spread myself really thin. Yeah. And I'm gonna put myself first in that situation. So Yeah. I mean, do I cancel a lot? For sure. Yeah. But, um, when I do go, sometimes I also feel guilty for the other end of it. Not that like. My home life. It, like, let's say I leave the house and the dishes are piled up. Mm-hmm. There's still laundry around. I know. I'm gonna miss bedtime. Yeah. Um, and then I'm like out having a grand old time and I just like left the house in fucking shambles. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna feel a little guilty Yeah. About that as well too. And then I'm like, oh, like, like, I don't know. Yeah. It, and not that it's never held over my head, but it's just no. A natural guilt. I'm gone. Yeah. You know, next week I'm gone too, and then this week I'm gone twice. Yeah. You know, but I think that's the thing that we like hold so much weight in our current friendships, like in our thirties these days is like those friends that don't hold any of that over your head. Like the canceling over your head, the hey. We haven't talked in two weeks. I went into freaking silent mode because I just have so much going on. Or maybe not even, like, I have so much going on, just I don't have a charged social battery to like sit here and have small talk with you. Mm-hmm. Because it doesn't always have to be like, Hey, I have a thousand things going on school, drop off this and that. It doesn't have to be that. Like sometimes I just am socially drained. Like I don't, I, I'm overstimulated and I think. The friendships these days that hold so much weight are the ones that like they respect that and they understand that, and you don't have to explain and like they'll just meet you where you are. And then the two weeks later they're just like, well, how's it going? What's up? Yeah. Like they're not like, well, she didn't talk to me for two weeks, or she didn't reach out first, so I'm not gonna reach out to her, or I haven't heard from her, so I just don't think like I, come on, we don't need to do that. We don't have the energy to play games. No, no. We don't need to do that. We don't like, we're already being freaking mindfuck by our kids. We don't need to sit here and be mindfuck by our friendship. Yeah. Like it just doesn't need to happen. Yeah. No keeping score. Right? No keeping score. And I think that's what builds strong friendships, uh, these days because it, like I think of my very best friend, Tara. Um, we see each other a couple times a year. We talk on the phone every day. Yeah. I'm like, I have the capacity while I'm running errands, you know? Yeah. And doing X, Y, and Z to talk on the phone. I don't always have the time to carve out. Yeah. Um, but Mila went back to school on Tuesday, so on Monday we were gonna breakfast and I like called Tara and I was like, if you have time, come meet us. Yeah. Like, I'm out with Mila, come meet us. And then we went to Target because we both had errands to run. I'm like, if we can run errands together Yeah. Can we make that a regular friend date? Like Costco runs, target runs, that's the thing. Remember the Dollar Tree? And then you're like, I gotta rep softball goodwill. And I'm like, cool. Go. Let's, let's go. Whatever. Yeah. Meet your friend where they're at. It doesn't need to be this big grand planned. Mm-hmm. And I have like, the same thing. My friend Kelly, which it's unexpected because she's married and she is a calendar fool, always going, going, going this vacation, this trip. They don't have kids. And so I worried when I first, you know, had river, I thought, shit, she spreads herself very thin. Yeah. Now I have a kid in the mix and she doesn't like, are we going to still connect? But day after Christmas she calls and let, let's hang out. I'm like, okay. I'm over at my mom's river's here. He's having a day. I'm, he's very clingy right now. He needs a nap, but we're probably gonna smoke hookah and drink and hang out. Mm-hmm. Have leftovers, whatever. She's super close with my sisters and my mom like hangs out with them alone and stuff. Oh sure. Shows up. Brings my mom flowers. We're just drinking in the backyard. I mean, river was like so tired. He like cried and fell asleep on me, but just totally, no, like, oh, your kid's there and not the fight. Oh. Oh. You know, she could been like that. 'cause she doesn't have kids and she doesn't have those obligations that she has to tend to No, she comes over, she hangs and it's like, those are the friendships that I need. Like you wanna hang out? Okay. I'm at home. Come over smoke hookah. But my kid's gonna be here. My husband's gonna be here. Yeah. Okay, cool. I'll be there. Like, but that is why she's your very, very best friend. Yes. There's no stipulations to have. How long have you guys been best friends? So she actually is the one that introduced me to Tyler. Oh. He got me out of my last very toxic relationship. Like she started coming around, hanging out and she's just like the most bubbly, positive person. But she was just telling me like, Hey, the guy you're with is like really mean. Like he's mean to to you in front of all of us. Like, he's not cool. He is not a good guy. Like you deserve better. You're cool. Like she pumped me up to the point where I got like enough courage to be like, yeah, you're right. Like I'm leaving him. And then I just like attached myself to her whenever him and I broke up. 'cause we'd been together for four and a half years and I was like, all right, what do I do? Like, and we just went out and partied and had so much fun. She just showed me that side because I got straight outta high school into a relationship and I never really like had fun. Yeah. And she showed me that side of things, introduced me to Tyler and it was history. So like my relationship with Tyler is because of her. So Tyler and I have been together. Shit, it's 11 years this year. So, um, this month. And so Kelly and I have been friends for probably, you know, longer than that 12 years because it was before that. So Amazing. It's not like a childhood friendship or anything, but it's one that like Yeah, it's it's true. And it's like I don't have to question if I don't text her back for three weeks, it doesn't matter. We're not keeping, there's none of that. Yeah. Like, I've never felt that way and it makes me wanna hang out with her and put more energy into that friendship because of that. Right, because you feel safe. Yeah. And I don't feel like I have to go around her and be like, so how's it going? Mm-hmm. Okay. I have to tell you, I went to the park yesterday. My mom and I took river to the park and there was a stroller group, right. And I'm pushing river on the swings, and I'm just side hustling. Like I'm ear hustling and I'm like, what do these fuckers talk about? You know, like, 'cause I'm thinking me in a stroller group. I'd be kicked out day one. The girl cannot. Girl is telling the other girl I can't. I'm like, and I'm trying not, you know, my facial, I'm trying not to look over there like, and tell him, what are you guys, what? And she's like, oh, Henry. He's just so loving. We're just in a part of our relationship where everything is just so smooth. And baby Josh, he just sleeps so well. He's just such a good eater too. Everything is just, my life is just so great and I felt like going fucking faker, like. Bitch, your relationship probably rocky as hell. Your baby ain't sleeping. Yeah, I saw that baby. That baby's eight months old. Oh, I don't give a fuck who you are. Like, but I just thought that's totally what I avoid. Yeah. I don't wanna go somewhere, put this mask on and get in my car and just feel worse afterwards. Because you feel so fake for what? You just spewed out. Like No, whenever you and I get together, it's always immediately like, bitch, I'm on my period. There's fucked up. This is what happened. Like it's, and there is no, um, I walked into your house, you're like, my fucking hair look. My hair. I fell sleep on it. And I'm like, I brought cocktails. Yeah. You're like, oh, Malibu. But it's never like, no. Hello, how are you? Like, we're fucking separate wives. We're not. No. We're just regular people. Yeah. And we'd be able to be regular with our friends. And if you can't, don't be friends with that person. Period. Like, I wanna be able to come over and be like, dude, I have a mustache right now. Can you see it? Like, you know, like, like, let's shave it. Literally, here's an idea. Next episode. Ding Courtney shaves my mustache. Um, but I literally like, that's what I want. I don't wanna, I, I don't want the, the facade. I think that can feel so isolating and so draining. I don't wanna feel like I have to be perfect anywhere. Like I just, I wanna be me. I wanna be me. I wanna walk in, of course, like I'm a very bubbly person Yeah. As well too. But like, I don't wanna f if I, if I'm, if I'm on my period, my hair is greasy and like, I just like feel bloated, let me say it. Yeah. As soon as I walk in the room, I don't wanna fake anything. No. And if you feel like, honestly, if I go hang out with somebody and I feel that way mm-hmm. I just won't hang out with them anymore. Yeah. Maybe that's toxic. I don't, it's so good. Like and, and no, I don't, I don't want that. I don't wanna, especially when it's like, I don't know, you just can feel like, no, that's not what's going on with you. Have you ever worked in corporate America? Yes. I, I think that's the first thing that comes to mind. Yeah. Is like when the boss walks around and you have to, hello? I'm forgot. My stats are perfect. I took 200 phone calls today. I worked at Discover for a long, so did I. You did? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, and I just think like worked at it like the IT department. Okay. I was in balance transfers and it was very competitive, so it was very much that like the boss came around and you were just like, oh, my stats and my call time is down and this and this and my retention. Yeah. That's like, no, I'm not having a friendship like that. Fuck that. When did you work there? I worked there like high school. Yeah, same. And I was there for probably four or five years. I actually. I actually loved that job. I love discover the cafeteria, like the, everything about it. They look at like Asian chef and he made me these bowls that I still think about. He made me these like, um, there was a Red Bull machine. Oh my God. And, and I will say, because I'm not like a corporate, I hate corporate America, but they were great there. They were. I felt like all my managers were so nice, so supportive. Oh, you need a mental health day. Go ahead. Yeah, I just feel like all the like, and then I drove past there the other day. They demolished, demo, discover. It's so sad to see. I was like, they were demolished. Did you ever get a call? Like, and then the wild calls. Okay. You used to discover your calls. You would go like once a month in a meeting with your whole team. They would pick a random call that you had with a customer. Oh. Oh. Like my hands are sweating thinking about it. I just got used to one of my worst calls once and I had a crush on the guy on my team too, and I'm just sitting there like, and they were like, okay, let's unpack this here. This is the zero out of zero. And I'm like, my Like, but it was so fun. It was so fun. But no, like we don't want any corporate friendships. No, we just don't want it. We don't. We have to be that way in our work world, regardless if you work for corporate America now. Um, no, but like when I send brands emails I have to Yeah. You're not like, yo little bitch. No, I'm like, hi, I'm Jessica. Hi, I'm Courtney. Yeah, I know. We joke about that. Um, my sister and I, when we'd go out front at the dispensary, 'cause we work in the back, but we'd go out front and someone would walk in and we'd always freaking at the same time, we'd be like, hi, how are you? And we'd both be like, bitch, like you even had the most attitude back there right now. And now you're like, hello everybody. You, Mila calls it my, uh, video voice. Yeah, because your fake voice. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, welcome to cook with Jess. Yeah. Like, we screw with my mom when she's on the phone, like, hello. And we'll be like, hello, this is Cindy. Oh yeah. No, no. Corporate friendships. Okay. No, no. We are so done with that. So I kind of wanna talk about, because like when did that transition happen? I know a lot of it's with motherhood. Yeah. I think a lot of it's with motherhood because your priorities change. Yeah. Completely. And I, I always try to give grace to my friends who don't have kids because they don't understand. No, it's a different world. Like the, the demand. Yeah. Um, and also I think this is where like you don't need to explain anything. Um, our friend, our friends that are moms get it. Yeah. And like, nothing against those who don't have kids, but it's just you get it once you're in the situation. Yes. Of like, I can't right now, regardless of the reason why. Yeah. It. You don't need to know the reason why. No. It could be like, I'm mentally tapped or I genuinely would like to have like my house in order right now versus going out to dinner or, you know, going to game night, whatever it is. Yeah. Um, and so I wanted to kind of talk a little bit more about how motherhood has changed our friendships. So, I mean, I think it's changed our friendships because we change so much mm-hmm. During motherhood, and I know that sounds generic and cheesy and whatever it may be, but like I, I know personally for myself, just going through IVF struggling to get pregnant, going through loss and then the postpartum anxiety afterwards, like, I am a completely different person than I was. Did you feel supported through that journey? I did. Um, like looking back now, right? Mm-hmm. When you're in it, you feel like. You isolate yourself when you have postpartum anxiety? Like, uh, personally for me, I don't wanna speak on anyone else's experience, but like, and even I, yeah, you feel so isolated. It doesn't matter who's there for you, they're not going through it, they don't understand it, and you just feel so isolated. But then you look back and you're like, wow, like I did have so much support. It's just, you don't wanna accept it because you're like spiraling in that moment. But when you come out of all of that, you really are so different. Mm-hmm. Like so different. I, um, just, I don't know, I, I don't care to like, pretend to be somebody else anymore or like put energy into people. I know that sometimes my family and stuff is like, well, don't read too much into this or give this person another chance. And I'm just very much like a cutoff. Like no, no, no. Like I am old enough now. Yeah. Where if you show me who you are, I'm gonna. I'm gonna say, okay. Thank you. Um, thank you for showing me who you are. I don't care to be around that person. I don't like that energy or I don't like the passive aggressiveness that you put into things. I don't like certain things. And it's like, let's not normalize. No, just keep the peace. Mm-hmm. Just, just do it because they're family. Just do it because of this. No, I don't think so. I think if something like is bringing negative energy to you, you can cut it off and it doesn't matter who agrees with you or who thinks that you should not do that. Like do what's best for you. And I think that's where it's different now because maybe back in the day when we had friendships, we put up with a lot more than like we do now because it was just like, okay, well kids aren't involved. 'cause I also think about certain friendships that I don't have anymore because I'm like, I don't really know that I want that person around my kid. Like they kind of do some crazy shit or they're kind of like all over the board or they always have drama or they're always involved with. Kind of sketchy people. And so you think more into your friendships, like, yeah, oh no, you do this, this, and this. You hang out with some fucking weird ass people. Like, I got a kid. Yeah. I don't want that shit around him. Well, and also too, like sometimes that reflects like who a part of who they are. Yeah, yeah. Um, too, like you have to, like I, in 2026, I wanna be wildly and I will be wildly successful. Yeah. I live my life on delusion and I don't care. Manifestation has gotten me so far. Yep. Already and like it's gonna continue. So like, I want to be around people who also have really big goals Yep. Who also, you know, want to continuously chase their goals. Yes. Who aren't complacent. And that's nothing against, like, it's not being judgmental, it's not anything. It's just I'm choosing my circle based on who I wanna be. Yeah. And also people that will celebrate your success and not get jealous of your wins. Mm-hmm. Um, as well too. I think that, um, that's a hard thing at rh. It's hard. I feel like there's a lot of people like that out there. There's a lot of Yeah. I, I, I definitely noticed that. And like, I, I think along the lines of what you said, I just don't care anymore. Yeah. I just don't care anymore. Um, I, you know, I, I don't know if it's, I try to tell myself though, I don't think it's all jealousy. I think some people. Just simply maybe aren't okay with where they're at. Or maybe they're experiencing hard times. Maybe they're going through something. Maybe they're in the midst of postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression. And you just said it yourself when you're in the, in the lowest of lows. Yep, it does. You don't wanna see wins, you don't wanna see anything. You don't, you literally don't want life to around you to keep moving. It's like when you're going through grief, you wanna feel understood and you wanna feel like someone is, it sounds terrible, but like you're going through the same thing that I am. Yeah. You are having it as hard as the time. Yeah. Like I know when I was in the trenches with River, like when he wasn't sleeping and stuff and someone would post on Instagram about their kids sleeping through the night and this and that, I'd just be like, fuck you, dude. Like I would pick it personal. Yeah. But then I'd see one that was like, Hey, any tips? My kid isn't sleeping through the night. And I was like. Yeah. Like you go off to someone's misery and that's such a sad place to be, but we've all been there. Yeah. We have to admit, like we've all fed off of someone else having a hard time. Yeah. Because it made us feel a little more like normal, but it's also like, that's not the way to be. Like, I am trying to go into this year and I, I feel like I have been for, you know, like the past six months or whatever, but just being more intentional about supporting people. Mm-hmm. Because like, it takes a lot of fucking balls to go out there and like give something your energy and your time. Yeah. Especially at this age, and especially with the delusions that are put out there and in, in this generation of like, go to work, do your work, go home, do this like you're not supposed to. Start your own business or take risks or like that's too risky. Mm-hmm. Oh, I don't know. That's a lot of work. That's too hard. That's this. Yeah, it is. But like all the people that are successful and have made it into like huge, like millionaires, or not even millionaires, just happier, made themselves happier, are doing things that are fucking hard. Mm-hmm. And that are like, not things that are like on paper what you're supposed to be doing at this age. So support someone if they're going out and they're trying something new, like. Good for you, dude. Dude, I love to see it. I, I get so excited when I see people look at you. Yes. Like I know that it took you a lot, probably, you've been thinking about this for months. Yeah. You've been working up the courage to kind of like put it out there. So when you do put it out there, I am gonna be the first person that's like. Stu, good for you. Wait, can we, can we do a public shout out on this? Because you just hit on something and I'm So I think you're talking about the same person on Dylan. Yes. I'm so bumed. Yes. Like, good for you. Yeah. No, di she's gonna be on this podcast. I've already voluntold her that she's gonna be on this podcast You're on. Um, but she, I'm like, hell yes. Yeah. Like, that is what, like, that's what we wanna see. I love seeing people just go after what they want in life. It's so cool. It's not a competition. No. Like there is like, I just absolutely just love to see it. Yeah. I wanna see people like chase their dreams and go after that more than I wanna see someone complain. Uh, yeah. You know, again, like, or you know, like, do something well, like, you know, life is this and I'm like, no, life is what you make it. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Like we, every one of us have been through extremely hard times. Yeah. No one, I mean, well, besides the newborn stage. After the newborn stage, I complained a lot about the newborn stage. I will never get over it. I didn't like it. Um, but I. Other than that, I'm not really complaining about anything. No. Some, some people don't know the low, low, low, low lows that I have experienced. Yeah. And that's okay. But we have all been through it and I think, I don't know, I just like, let's just cut jealousy in 2026, a hundred percent. Let's do that. And someone is out there trying something new and putting themselves out there. And it is a very vulnerable place to be because you don't know. You are thinking about how many likes, how many people are gonna support this? Is it gonna work? Is it that it doesn't matter. It is just about you putting yourself out there. It feels so good. Mm-hmm. Like each episode that we do, I really am not focused about like how many downloads, how many this, how many that, no. It's like, what did, what am I taking from that episode? What did I share that made me feel more free? And what did I share that maybe someone else out there, like it made them feel so heard in a time that that's all that they needed. Yeah. Like it made 'em feel like they had that friend. Like that's how you are going to turn yourself into a happier person is by like, not thinking about what everyone else thinks. And just thinking about like, what do I think, what do I think about this idea that I have? What do, do I think it's gonna make me happier or do I like and. I will always support that. Uh, there's no competition in that. Yeah. There really isn't. Well, and you will be happier. I, I mean, I, I do watch my views on my cooking channel, like quite a bit just to like, see what, what performs, um, and like what's not performing and things like that. But it doesn't ruin my day. Um, it doesn't ruin my day at all. And like all of my ideas that I have, I, I just don't care. I don't care like what I, I'm gonna throw it out there and see what sticks. And I think like that's the mindset that everyone has to get in about their dreams is don't do it because you think that people are going to like, love it. Do it because you're gonna love it. Yeah. And then that people feed off that energy. If you seem like you're in your element and like, happy and doing what you love, people can feel that. Yeah. No, a hundred percent. And I mean, there's definitely a lot of things that go into a, you know, well, a marriage, a friendship, but anything that, like, you see as like a red flag and there's a lot of green flags, right? Mm-hmm. So I, I think that like this day and age, um. We are like looking for a lot of those red flags and friendships. I think back in the day, we didn't care. I mean, I'm thinking of some people that I was friends with. I was like, holy shit. Like we did some stuff that like, I probably should have looked at you and like my dad said, who you hang out with is who you are. Yep. It's a reflection of who you are, who you're around, who you're surround yourself with. Like that your circle is who you're going to become. So like, be comfortable with who you're surrounding yourself with. Mm-hmm. Like is that a reflection of you? Like that you're cool with? No, back then, no. A lot of the people it, it was like I searched for the red flags, but now I'm like, totally. What are the green flags that people bring to a friendship? Um, I would say meeting you where you're at. That's a huge thing at our age, right? Like. Don't expect me to like be on the same page as you or vice versa. Mm-hmm. I'm not keeping score. I'm not, you know, you didn't text back and so now I'm pissed off at you for two weeks, or I reached out, you didn't reach out the next time. Like, let's cancel all that. Mm-hmm. Like, let's cancel that type of like keeping score. I hate that. I hate that so much. Like that shit will keep me up at night where I'm thinking like, I wonder if that person is mad because I freaking. Forgot to text him back, Courtney. The amount, the amount of things that keep you up at night. I always text Jessica in the morning. She, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking this, this, and this. It's like a novel to her. I think we should do this. I think I, I'm gonna slip a melatonin into your cocktail next time and I'm just gonna let you rest. Okay. I swear this great. Courtney kept up at night by her brain. Yeah. All the time. But the wonderful thing, she doesn't think I'm mad at her, but they're all great. They're all great ideas. It's always like a, Hey, I was a blast night. I have this idea. And Justin probably like, fucking mu this, like, God damn it, I love you so much. Um, but they're my favorite text to get first thing in the morning. Um, they just crack me up. But, but yeah, no, I, it's definitely meeting, meeting where we're at. But then would you say that, well you did kind of touch on this. I think I am too. Passive with things still to this day. Yeah. I'm a lot more cut off like when it comes to family, unfortunately. Yeah. Like, I'm like, family's not blood. Yeah. Do you know, like, especially 'cause like my kid is a lot more involved, like in, in that situation. Yeah. Um, but with friends, I, I'm working through and I'm hoping in 2026 I don't allow as much like, walking all over me. Yeah. Um, but I also too, I wanna be a little bit more open to my friends as well too, because I tend to like keep a wall up. So like I don't have that many close friends. Yeah. Um, neither do I. My sisters are, and I know it sounds cheesy, but those are my best friends. Yeah. I know that those are like the people that like, no matter what, like, and I know it shouldn't be your sister's or your mom and dad, but like those are my best friends. I think it should, and I don't think that, that's like pathetic of me. Yeah. I think that I'm like super lucky that I have that because a lot of people don't have that in their family. But I don't have, like, I don't have a lot of close friends. Mm-hmm. You know, like I have friends that I know I can reach out to and we will still be as close as we were the last day we hung out. But it's not like I'm just like filling my calendar and hanging out with people all the time. And I do miss, like, let's just go out and let's get drunk. I know that sounds bad, but like, let's go out, let's get drunk. Let's have fun. Like not this. What was, what's your kid up to this week? What's like, let's go out and not talk about our kids and just like turn our brains off and go watch a fucking football game at a bar. Yeah. And drink and play pool and play darts and like you can do that this weekend. Yeah, I do actually Like a hundred percent. Let's go do that this weekend. So I do miss that side of friendships too, where everything was just a lot less like thoughtful. I feel like these days it has to be like, let's meet for a play date with our kids and let's compare what yours is doing to my, and it's like, oh, just the thought of that makes me like I'm already canceling. I think as soon as it feels like a chore. You know? Like which kind of leads into, I think we choose our friendships based on how we feel when we leave the interaction. Yes. Yes. Um, which is like, why the divine timing with us? I'm so thankful for Yes. Because a hundred percent I think we've, we've talked about it. We met up that first time. We're like, this is easy. Yeah. This is cake. Okay. Yeah. Um, like we can both just show up as who we are and then like we leave feeling like refreshed. Yeah. And not, which is rare. I know actually for us to meet at this point in our lives. And we also have like a lot of mutual, um. Would I say friendships or like Yeah, like people or how would you explain that? Yeah, whatever. We know a lot of the same people, and I feel like sometimes when you become friends with someone later on in life when you know a lot of the same people and maybe have heard things about each other or this or that. Yeah. Or, oh, she's this, and like it doesn't go so well because there's already like certain things that are like created in your mind about that person. Mm-hmm. But for us, I just feel like the first time we met it was like, we've been friends for 30 years. Even your family said that. Yeah. Like my family loves it. Like it was just so natural. Yeah. And I think that's like. That's what you want at this point. That's what you want. Like if it's not natural first, like right off the bat. Same with the fricking when you go on a date, right? I haven't been on a date in, in 500 years. I'm gonna tell my husband, let's go meet randomly and act like we don't know each other. I told I think it'd be fun. It would be so fun. I told Taylor this for Christmases. Yeah. You know, they shop the bar and like, let's do that because like, I wanna know, what do I bring to the table? I don't know anymore. I don't know like as far as like do I know how to flirt? Do I know how to like, Hey there, big guy. Hey there, big boy. Like what? What do you say? That's what I'm saying though, but like that's how it feels sometimes going on a friend first, friend date. Mm-hmm. It's kind of like we're on a date and I need to like show the best version of myself. Yeah. So that you want to hang out with me again, but I'm kind of opposite now. I just show up and I'm like, Hey, yo, what's up? This is me. Hey mama. Hey mama. Everything's a mess. Let's fucking go. But like, I don't know. It is fucking hard. no, it's very hard to maintain. Um, that's why you need the low effort ones, the ones that are easy. Yes. But then also one thing that we didn't touch on too, does your spouse play a role at all in who you're friends with? Like if, he really didn't like he loves, well he, obviously you met through Kelly, but like if he really didn't like one of your friends, would you end that friendship? I. I don't think I'd end that friendship unless he gave me some valid reasons as to why it was like toxic for me to be friends with them or something. Um, it's hard for me to answer that one 'cause Tyler's just not that person. Yeah. He, he will say like, he'll bring up his way of like, entering himself is like bringing up questions like, or if they're like really annoying and he's like, he will say like, oh God, like, you know, like, yeah. Like he'll more so ask questions like, well, do you feel like she supports you? Do you feel like they are good around, would be good around river. Like he'll more so do that type of thing where he asks these questions and when you answer you're like, whoa, my answer is answering for me. Okay. Like, no, I shouldn't, but no, I, I don't think he's ever. There's been certain guy friendships that I've had mm-hmm. At the beginning of like, our relationship that he's like spoke on where he's just like, I don't fucking like that guy. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't think he's friends with you for the right reason. Yeah. I think he's this, I think he's that. Never like, don't hang out with him, but like he'd put that in my ear. Yeah. And then like, it'd make me like, I still hang out with them and it would make me realize like, fuck. Like, and if he somehow is always right later on, like I don't ever listen to him because I'm so stubborn. At first He's gonna love to hear that. Yeah. He's gonna love to hear that he is Right. But no, he's gonna clip the part that says he's always right. Yeah. We have a friend group that it's, he has a guy friend group that he's been friends with since, I don't know, like eighth grade. They played football together, like they've been friends forever. And now I. The wives, like we've all become really good friends. Yeah. But not that like, oh, we have to be friends type of thing. Mm-hmm. You don't hang out a lot. It's probably like once or twice a year, but every time we do, it's so fun. And like I'm really good friends with his guy friends. Mm-hmm. Like, and I know people say, no, you can't have guy friends when you're married. Um, it's my husband's guy, friends that I'm friends with, but like, we went to the casino and Tyler was gonna go to bed and he didn't wanna leave me downstairs. And his whole crew was like, no, we got her. Like, we're hanging out. Like, and we all hung out the rest of the night. And it's not like a weird, like you can't be hanging out with those dudes without your husband. That's such a weird thing this night. No, but like, I feel like. It's more of a we're hanging out, we're family. Mm-hmm. Type of thing now. And, and it's not like a weird, I don't know, again, it's not a forced thing here though. Yeah. Yeah. It's more like, Hey, our, our husbands are friends and now we've become friends and we all hang out and it's funny and it's fun and it, it's actually interesting to see like his single guy friends. Whenever we go and hang out, I think I'm like their counselor, like, we're drinking and we're hanging out in the pool at talking sick. And I'm like, so what's going on? And like all of a sudden it's just like, I was dating this girl and she broke my heart. And you know, like they're like breaking down. Yes. It's like they crave that too. Yes. They probably just go out with guys and are drinking beers and talking football, but really, they're like, is there like a female that I can talk to about this, this, and this? Like, they do wanna talk about it. Yeah. I think guys do too. Because anytime Taylor comes home from hanging out with, with his guy friends. Yeah. I'm like, so what about this? And he is like, we didn't talk about that. What about the we, we didn't talk. I'm like, what do you talk about for how many hours? Get the details. Be like, oh, so and so has a new girlfriend. And I'm like, Ooh, what's her name? What's her name? How did they meet? Oh, I don't know. Well, is she, did he say she's cute? Did she sh did did you see a picture? Yeah. Oh no. Well, like what more was sent? Like what did he Oh, I didn't, I didn't ask. What the fuck is wrong? What did you talk about wrong? Even like, if you're not gonna do it for you, do it for me. Like, what the fuck? Like, yeah. I don't know. There's no substance in these guy relationships, none. Like those friendships are so surface level, they're like everything that we don't want. No, no. Any, if you come to me with like the slightest bit, her name is Kayla, I will find out her social security number. Like I, I asked my brother-in-law the other day, he gave me a girl's name and I said, well, what's her last name Du Well, how am I supposed to fucking search her on Facebook? And yes, stalk her whole family and her extended family and her brother's brother. And how, how am I gonna do that? Yeah. Her uncle's next. Yeah, like, you gotta, you gotta do, gimme something to work with here, please. All right. We're gonna go through some like quick little like respond without thinking. Okay. Okay. Like just gimme your honest. So you ask, I ask, you ask I ask, or what? Yes. Let's do that. Okay. Text back immediately or sit on it for three days, sit on it for three days, maybe forever. Yeah. I don't know. I'm sorry. I think you answered that one because I, oh, this one's meant for me. Group chat. Love it or hate it. Hate a group chat. It's the worst. I don't, I don't wanna after it gone to 500 people. Nope. I don't like it. Cancel plans or rally and go. Uh oh. Wait. Oh, uh, cancel plans. Yeah, for sure. We're, we're on the same page there. One-on-one Hangs or group chaos. I love a one-on-one hang versus a group fake out. Um, silent hang or chaotic overshare. Well, I was gonna answer for you just because Are you kidding? I know. What is this? I think the audience will answer that one. Do we ever just, let's try and hang out one episode. Silent. Just silent. Just face facial, facial expressions. Just sit here and send each other tiktoks. We'd just be drunk. That's perfect. That sounds terrible. I am down though for like a, like a little hotel staycation. We'll just sit there and, no, you know what I wanna do, and I think I, I think everyone would think this was cool too, especially if we like really launched the video part of it. I told her this before. I wanna go camping. I wanna get that company that drops the RV off and her and I sit around a fire drunk and we do like a two hour extended podcast where it's just us out in the middle of the freaking forest or desert and we're just drunk talking about like, crazy stuff around a campfire. I can't wait till Taylor hears this podcast and he is gonna have a heyday with this one, um, paragraph reply or TikTok link. Mm-hmm. I do both to you. I feel like I send you a lot of paragraphs. But I send you a lot of fucking dumb videos. Yeah, I I love both. Yeah. Yeah. Um, double text or wait it out. Wait, wait. You'll never catch a double text from He waited it out. She just shows up at my house. 'cause I do, he'll be waiting forever for me to respond. Yes. Girls trip happening or forever, we should plan it. That's a goal of mine this year. I wanna take more trips in general with my family, but also like my friends and I wanna be that person. I've never been this person. I always make fun of these people that are like, let's get in on the calendar. Let's get in on the calendar. I wanna get in on the calendar bitch. I wanna be like, okay, let's talk about it and let's be like, what works for you? Yes. Get it on there or else it's not gonna happen, you know? I don't know. The last girls trip I went on was like, so healing. Yeah. And I'm like, even just like a weekend in San Diego. Just something. Yep. Just something. Natalie, my sister. Where you at? We're coming. We're coming. We're going bar hopping. We're we're doing all the things. Yeah. I could just use like a, a Red Bull vodka Slushy from PB Shore Club. Yeah, right, right there. Over the water. Watch the fricking sunset. Yes. And just Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something we could so easily do though. Yes. We gotta get it on the calendar. Oh. Have you ever outgrown a friend? Friend? Yeah. Yeah. A hundred. How many? A lot. Yeah. Like we are, we are we keeping score here, but Yeah. And I mean, I don't take it like, I hope that they don't take it personal either. I don't, I don't think it's anything of like they did or I did or. It's just simply like you grow and sometimes you grow in different directions. Mm-hmm. And it's not like bad or everything's amicable. Everything's still like, I'm rooting you on, I hope you're doing good, but we're just not at a spot where like our lives are aligning. Mm-hmm. So like, let them unalign for a little bit and then maybe later down the line, like everything, everything comes full circle. I feel like in things that are supposed to be, yeah. Um, when things kinda like break apart, I truly believe like if they're meant to be together, they will come back together. And that's not just like, oh, your relationship, it's friendships, it's just anything in life. Mm-hmm. Like your passions. Like, oh, I'm gonna put this on the back burner because it seems too hard to accomplish or figure out right now. And then like later on it creeps back up in some kind of way. God's always like inserting little things. Yeah. Like, remember this, remember this person. Yeah. So yeah, definitely everyone's outgrown friendships. That's. Agree. It's not bad. Like it's okay. Um, stayed friends out of history, not connection. Um, yes, but I also think that I've gotten a lot better at just like letting those fall away. Yeah. Um, and like I'm learning exactly what you hit the nail on the head there. Exactly what you just said. Not everything needs a why. No. Not everything needs a why and like, not everything is bad either. I think that there's like so many friendships that you're like, well, but we, we grew up together. Yeah. But like we, but we did this. Like, but we did vacations and whatever it is. And you're like, you just like wanna hold onto it so tight because of that. Yeah. But like, um, e everyone grows up and like, they take different paths and, uh, not every friendship needs to be forever. No. It's more of a facade thing, I think too. Like, you like to keep that like tally like. We were friends for 10 years. Mm-hmm. And we had to keep it going. To show everyone that we can keep a friendship for that long. Yeah. No. If it's not working for you anymore, then fuck the 10 years I can meet someone tomorrow that I feel like you. Yeah. Like I, I feel like we've been friends for 10 years. Yeah. We haven't. So what, which hurts more? Drifting or breakup? Oh, I would probably say a breakup. Yeah. Yeah. Drifting. I think 'cause it naturally happens on both parties. I think that there is like a little bit of hurt. Yeah. But Well you always kind of wonder a little bit like, was it more something I was doing or take something personal that they were doing? Like the overthinker and us, I don't care who you are, everyone takes things personal. Mm-hmm. Enough of this. Like I don't take it personal. You do though a little bit and you should sometimes, yeah. Certain things require taking it personal. Don't agree. Don't brush something under. Have you ever been the flaky one? Have I ever been the flaky one? I am the flaky one, and I have no fucking shame in my game for that. Okay. Sometimes being flaky means I'm showing up for myself or my family more, and I stand so strong on that. I don't care. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll be a flaky friend, um, because like it, I'll be a present mother and a flaky friend Oh yeah. Any day. Yeah. And not a flaky mom. Nope. So, nope. I actually, uh, bombard her a little bit too much. Right. Friendship, jealousy. No. And that's always no. Yeah. I don't, um, that's always like kind of, I don't know. That's like rubbed me the like the wrong way. Yeah, because, and like, maybe it's because like I am like a. I stay very detached. Yeah. From people. Yeah. Um, not to like get deep, like I, I don't know, like a lot of people have like, let me down. So like, I just like, yeah. I keep a lot of people at arms length. Um, and like, I, I like a few chosen people. Like, I would be probably jealous, but like, not in like a creepy way. Like if I like very best friends, I'd be like, wait, but like, what about like our friendship? Like if Norm, if they, yeah. If they left my friendship like in the dust. Yeah. You know, like didn't wanna see me talk to me or whatever anymore because of a new friend, but like, that doesn't happen. I think I more have the opposite of it. It's like, I'm not jealous. I'm more like, I don't think you guys are as thick as these, as you guys pretend you are. Oh yeah. It's more of a like, ooh, whatever you guys got going on, where you act like you're so friendly, friendly friend. Friend. It makes me a little, it gives me a little bit of the it. Lesbian pipes confront conflict or disappear. Confront conflict disappear. I, I can't let things, I'm a picker, you know, like I'm an overthinker. So if I disappear, then I'm disappearing into a hole where I've created scenarios that this shouldn't be. Yeah. No, it's not healthy for me to disappear. I just spiral uncontrollably. I just go into like my detached don't care mode. Yeah. And I'm like, I care. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Oh my God. All right. Okay, so you have the answer that you have to fill in the blank here. Okay. Okay. My toxic friendship, that is what? Oh no. My toxic trait. I can't read. I have glasses on. Sorry. Sorry, sorry. My toxic friendship trait is, oh, maybe. Maybe it's what I just said, like keeping people at a distance. Yeah. What's yours? Not texting back. That's okay. It's fine. I'm gonna do a broad sorry to everyone. My biggest strength as a friend is, oh, it's me. Um, I think I'm pretty reliable. Pretty trustworthy. Like I, I might not respond to your text, but if you call me and you're like, I'm two hours away, I need this, this, and this, or can you take my kid? I need whatever. Like, I will no answer like I am, I am that friend. Mm-hmm. So I'd probably say the same for me. Like Taylor, that actually was like, kind of like a tip in our household is, um, he's like, you need to be more selfish. He's like, because if your friends call you in the middle of the day, like you'll drop, you'll put yourself on the back burner to be there for everyone else. Yeah. And I'm like, but I like yeah. Taking care of my people. I know there's a line though, right? Yeah. There's a line we have to learn. I guess. I guess, um, I guess one thing I wish my friends understood about me is that I shut down when I'm overwhelmed. Mm-hmm. And it has nothing to do with them. I just kind of like could go Yeah. I like that. I, I definitely agree with that too. I, I wish my friends understood that just because I'm not like reaching out or maybe always present or maybe not always showing up to plans. Like, I am somebody that feels very deeply and cares very deeply about people and like, just because they don't like physically show up or communicate that. Like, just know that I want the freaking best for you and I care about you and I want everything good for you. Like, even if it's not said, you know, I think that is like the best note to end on. Yeah. Literally. Like, because it's like, it's, I you couldn't have said that any more. Perfect. Like, I think that just wraps up the friendship, guilt. Yeah. You know, all in a, in a pretty package. I think that's what you just said is what we all feel because Yeah. Like we tell ourself a story in our head of like, they're gonna hate us. They're not gonna invite us anymore. They feel like we're not there. Like we make up the story. Yeah. And like when in reality, like we can't be there physically. Um, out of whatever reason. Yeah. But we, we want the best for you. We love you. Yeah. And it's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's me. And it's not really our job in life to like, just constantly show up for everyone else when we're like, if that means letting ourselves down or like giving ourselves less, like that's not really our job. That's not our place. Uh, my place isn't to fill a void that you have one day, and that means abandon my family because of it. Like, just meet me where I'm at. I'll meet you where you're at, and we'll just be friends forever. Amen. That's it. Yeah. That's, that's it. It makes you complicated. No, no, no. So, but I am so, I don't know about you, but I'm so excited for just all the episodes to come. We have so much fun stuff planned. We have, um, some guests lined up that are gonna be, I think really, really, really, really like fun and just. I don't know. A couple of these guests, I just feel like are at a place where a lot of you are at yourselves and maybe feel a little isolated. So I feel like having them on is gonna make you feel heard, and I'm really excited for that. Especially if you've ever said the phrase, that's my first husband. Oh, that's my first husband. And if you've ever experienced, um, co-parenting, we got you. We got you. We're gonna have you covered here. We got some good stuff up coming up. So happy 2026. Let's thrive and let's keep listening to Mom and Mark's. We love you. Love you. Bye.