I'm court and I'm Jess. And this is Moms. Moms. And Marks. Marks uncensored. Hi, I miss you. We're back baby. We're back bitches. Okay. Yeah. I know you guys missed us. Well, you better have, but we missed each other. We missed each other so much. Never again. Are we going two weeks without seeing each other? No. It's like the reunion of all reunions. I literally just, yeah. Embraced her as soon as I saw her. It's like a shared custody battle or literally you were taken from me and I feel like so much life has happened in the short couple weeks of two weeks. Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah. I'm like, Hey, I have a whole new life now. Hey, nice to meet you. I'm a new person. Literally story my life. But what isn't new is drum roll. We are drinking espresso martinis. Something's never changed, baby. No. You know what? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Didn't it feel like when you took a sip of this, weren't you like, we're back, we're back. We're so back. As soon as I took a drink, I was like, this just, this is Mom's and Marks. Yeah. I made one last a week for Tyler and I, but it was not. It was not to this level. This one's a little, and it didn't feel the same. No. I loved having Tyler on here, but it didn't feel right. I did that podcast and I just thought it was the sweetest. I was just smiling the whole time. I was like, they're so cute. Even though you guys were talking about like fighting right, or this stupid shit, I just, just your guys' dynamic. I love it so much. Yeah, he, he enjoyed it. That was funny. When I told him that I needed to be on the podcast, he was like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I can do that. And then he did it and he was like. That was so cool. That was so fun. And I do want to address, because I did post on the Instagram that I was gonna be posting my cook with, oh my God. Not a sign almost falling, and I spilt my martini. Oh no. Um, so I said I was gonna be posting my Cook with Jess journey, everything, um, in honor of it being almost a year of doing that pretty much full time. But when I went to record it, I did it on my headphones. So first of all, the audio was horrendous, but also our ed editing software only recognized it as a, uh, transcript file and on audio file. So I couldn't edit it, and then I just got irritated. So we'll rerecord that at some point. Maybe like next time we have to do a solo I'll do that, but yeah, we'll figure it out. People really wanna hear that. So she will do that again. I'll do that and hopefully I'll be at like a hundred K and audio issues are just, oh, you'll, I'm gonna get you. Get you there baby. 77. You got this, got this. Um, audio issues. Yeah, we had audio issues last week. We had to use these backup mics because she had our regular mics. My other mics were in San Diego 'cause I flew home and I had planned to record out there. Um, you know, one day we're gonna have, when I move, we're gonna have a she she podcast room. Yes, it's gonna have the sound. I mean it's gonna be next level baby. Oh, I'm so excited. Just stick with us. I've been a part of this house hunting. I feel like the third. She is. Yeah. We went look at some houses and she's like, oh, I don't know. And I'm like, right. Yeah. I dunno. I think I know about this one. Yeah, we got this. We're going, um, what's the, this a new saying that I love guys over the past couple weeks. Um, and it was on a Disney movie. I can't remember, but onward and upward. Oh, cute. I was like, Zita, lapita, zita. Nope. Onward and upwards. Non non Zina? No. Oh, okay. No. Onward and upwards. I like that. I might watch that. Watch that tonight. Okay. But wait, update kind of. A lot of moms listen to this. So can I go on a little soapbox about what might be the greatest Pixar movie? And that's saying a lot because I love Pixar. I love Toy Story. I'm like a Toy Story. That's my, one of my favorite because Disney, well, it's Pixar movies and, but Mila and I went and saw Hoppers, and when I saw the preview to Hoppers, I was like, oh, cute, whatever. And Mila, and I love to go see. I know. It's, it's a little strong. Uh, Mila and I love to go see movies at like a MC and get our dinner popcorn. I get a cocktail. We just have like a whole little setup going. And so we sit down and Hoppers is quite literally one of the greatest Pixar movies ever made. I cried three times. Oh, well that's not Salem. That's not, we're not saying much. Um, no, I cannot recommend it enough. If you have not seen Hoppers, go see Hoppers. It is incredible. So good. I mean, okay, so the last movie that I saw was reminders of him. Yeah. And I saw that too. I thought it was so good. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't read the book. Um, they missed some pretty big parts of the book, but the movie was incredible at first. Okay. I know this is like, not a movie podcast, but the way she like walked. Yeah. Okay. Well, how about she looked like Lainey Wilson and I said she looks like a young Lainey Wilson and then Lainey Wilson. And then like 10 minutes later. Um, and my, my best friend Kelly, she had a couple beer weed pre-game before or whatever, and she's just a goofball. I said, there's Lainey Wilson, and she's like. Oh my God, that looks like the real Lainey Wilson. I'm like, no, it is the real Lainey Wilson. She was like, no, no. Like it's the other girl. I'm like, honey, honey, honey, honey. She's a blonde too. But I'm like, no, this is the real Lainey Wilson, which I'm gonna see side note in on Saturday. I'm going to Country Thunder tomorrow, guys. Terrible lineup this year. It's so bad. I mean, I do love Lainey. Um, Gavin Adcock. Okay. I'm a Zach Bryan girl. Okay. I don't care what he did to Brianna Chicken Fry or what the drama was. Listen, listen, listen, listen. They're young. They drank too much. It was toxic. We've all been, we, Tyler and I just talked about, that was us, right? Mm-hmm. And then you add the fame in. Yeah. Um, and then everyone like hates him because of it. And it's like you act like you didn't live a life like that, minus the fame that adds to. Drama. My boyfriend literally had two girlfriends at the same time. We've all been there. Oh, come on. Like we've all, we've all been through some shit come on. And then my other one we won't talk about. Um, but yeah, we've all been with Crazy Men. Um, he is an incredible artist. But can we talk about though, the only thing, his new wife looks identical to? Chicken fruit. Okay. Creepy. That's weird. Oh, it is creepy. I know, but you think about it and you have a type, right? Mm-hmm. Because I like look at like who I'm attracted to. Um, Matt LaFleur, the coach for He was the Packer's coach. Yes. Is he still the back? I don't know. He choked you? I don't know. I don't know. But as soon as I told my sisters, oh my God, Matt Lale is so hot. They're like you. He looks like Tyler. You have a type. Right? But this is outside of typing. No, it is. He went for, he went for the doppelganger. It is a doppelganger, but I like to like, I don't like Beyonce as a person, but I like some of her music. I like to disconnect. Right? So if I like your music, I don't wanna just be like, oh, I don't like what you do outside, so I'm not gonna listen to your music. No. If music's good, I'm gonna listen to it. Zach, Bryan is my people. Mm-hmm. I love his music. It does something for me. Everyone's different. Everyone has different types, but that fucking beef that him and Gavin got. G Gavin Adcock got into where Gavin was chirping at him nonstop during this concert festival thing. And then when Zach came and confronted him and jumped the fence. Mm-hmm. Because he wanted to fight him, Gavin was saying, let's fight, blah, blah. Zach jumps the fence. Gavin runs and has his security guards grab Zach. And he's like, well, I had a big show I didn't wanna root. It's like, well then shut your mouth. So now I'm gonna see him tomorrow and I'm gonna be like, okay. But also how fart separate the music from the fight. I know I like Gavin Adcock because I like his music, so I, I think he'll be great. Live. Yeah. So I'm gonna see him tomorrow. And then I think the headliner on Friday. Is Laney, the headliner on Saturday is Zack Top. I love Zack Top. I just don't know if his music is like drinking music. Oh it is. You're gonna have a wonderful time. I saw him live last June. Good to know. Because I feel like his music is slow and I love it in my car. But I'm like, and here's the thing, at Country Thunder, if you've ever been, if you're drinking and you're partying and then someone comes on and they're kind of, um, I love Chris Stapleton to death. It wasn't the vibe there. He's so slow and he doesn't move around the stage. Yeah. And I was in my seat almost like falling asleep 'cause I'm like, I have a buzz being killed. So, you know when you are out at, let's say the Corral? Mm-hmm. Because you go there and a nineties country song comes on. Oh yeah. And you are feeling it and it's like the vibes are good nostalgic with all the things. Imagine That's exactly how Z Top feels on stage. Okay. I love that. If you are going to have the best time to. It's so, it's so good. And, and he's good at like, crowd interaction. Okay, good. 'cause I feel like he, I felt like he was gonna be like a Chris Stapleton where he just like stood still. Oh no. But, uh, message me if you, if anybody listens to Jackson Dean, he's not like big time, but he is, um, he has some songs in like Yellowstone and stuff, and he reminds me of that Yellowstone vibe. He's kind of cute. And what day is he? I think he's before Laney on Friday, so I feel really bad. One of the guys that performs at my, like we have live music at my work. Yeah. My new job. And. He, I, he said something about Country Thunder and then I was like, oh yeah. And I was like, lineup's not very good this year. And he goes, I perform on Thursday. And I go, oh no, what's his name? I don't know. He's one of like the earlier, no, I know. But, um, there's like a Waylon Wyatt who, I don't know. I will find it right now. Let's find out. Because you know what? Here's the thing. And he's, and he's really good. Like I listened to him at my work and I'm like, he's so good. But that's the thing, sometimes people don't show up for the early people because they're like, oh, they suck, or this or that. And then sometimes get this guys, get this. One year I went to Country Thunder Hardy and Morgan Wallen were daytime performers that nobody showed up for. I was literally like partying with Hardy because I was drunk and I went to my seats and he was down there and nobody was watching him 'cause it was in the sun. Ryan Flock. Ryan Flock. He's on Thursday. He's on Thursday. Okay. I'll make sure to check him out. But yeah, I mean, here's the thing about Country Thunder though. It's, I almost was not gonna go this year because of the lineup. It just drastically keeps getting worse and worse. And that's not to say that there's not good performers, but it used to just be a stack of just freaking headliners. Now it's like, is that really a headliner? Because they're all at stage Coach. Yeah. But every year my parents take us, um, and it's just like their friend group who is like, honestly sometimes more fun than my friend group. Like, they're just cool, you know, older people are cool. And then it's my sisters. We don't take our husbands, our kids, nothing. And it's like our time to hang out and have fun and like disconnect. So when I wasn't gonna go, then my sister was like, but this is like our, our thing. Who cares about the lineup? Yeah, let's just like go and have fun. So I'm going, I'm gonna have fun and I'm not gonna care about the lineup. And if it turns out to be. Good. Then it's just, well, because like bonus again, like let's go back to Buffalo Chip, the corral, wherever, when there's live music, it does not matter who it is when there's live music. Yeah. The energy is just, yeah. Tenfold. It, it's so, I love live music. Oh yeah. So much. So it doesn't matter who's on stage, it's like, no. That energy and like, everything that's going on. Well, and there's something about, um, it's like when you go to Vegas, you know that everyone's on the level you're on. Mm-hmm. Everyone's drinking. It's not like sometimes you go somewhere and like you're the only one drinking and it kind of gives you a weird vibe. I don't know. I get a weird vibe. I'm like, okay, wait, I, I'm the only one drinking. If you go out to dinner and everyone orders iced tea and Yeah. Am angar alcoholic, like nobody's on the same level. When you go to Country Thunder, everyone is on a level of some sort, but like a fun, like, they're all fun and friendly and so it's like that's the vibe that we're gonna go off of and we're gonna just have fun and we're gonna do the thing. Yeah. No, it'll be good, but. Highs and lows. Highs and lows. Let's hear it. Highs and lows. Um, high is, so I have a, I guess I have a couple. So since we last talked to you guys, I started bartending a couple nights a week. Um, as I mentioned a little bit earlier, obviously I do social media full-time. I finally hit a point where I'm like, oh wait, it due to something I can't talk about, I don't think ever. Yeah. Um, I kitty, yeah. So I didn't take a lot of brand deals in February and I was like, oh, wait, shoot. I realize that I, this, this is how I get paid. Yeah. So I need, I, I just need something consistent. So I started bartending a couple nights a week, um, because I also like to spend money. As well. And I realized, I was like, wait, I only, um, I need to make sure, like I have money to spend for fun as well. Consistent money con. Consistent money. Yeah. Um, like I said, Mila and I like to go to movies. We like to go to play places. I like to get my nails done. I target, I like to go to Target, I like to spend money and I'm not apologetic about it. So coffee. Oh, coffee every single day no matter what. So, um, started bartending a couple nights a week. I'm having a blast. So that is definitely a high, it's like four hour shifts, three nights a week. Nice. It's totally fine. I got home at like 11 last night, woke up at four and I was not even phased. So I think that's big time for you. I know, but I think like when you said you had, you didn't get home till 11. I was like, okay, I used to text you at 8:00 PM and your do not disturb was on, and I wanna hear from you till the next day. So you're, she's growing up guys. I know last night my bedtime alarm thing went off 'cause my phone goes in as silent and I've already like met the regulars. 'cause I work at a dive bar pretty much with like regulars. Those are the best though. I love them. Yeah. And, and he was like, oh, Jess's bedtime. Yeah, I'm go to sleep. And I was like, yep, yep. I don't know how I'm still awake right now. And so that, that's a high. And then another high, obviously my daughter's not gonna listen to this, but we applied for everything for homeschooling yesterday, so, oh, for third grade. She has been begging to be homeschooled. She has no idea that I finally submitted everything. And um, we are just waiting on the approval and then I'll be able to tell her that she's going to be homeschooled for third grade. And then obviously if she loves it, we'll go from there. But yeah, uh, that's the game plan for next year. So that's another high. A low is, I would probably say the same thing. Um, I love this new job. I'm having a lot of fun just socializing. Everything I do is through my phone for the most part. Yeah. Outside of this. Yeah. Um, we get to meet up, which has been amazing for my mental health. Yeah. Um, because I feel like I'm just like locked to my phone and my computer all day. But, um, I'm also gone in the evenings now three nights a week. So it's just making dinner early and just being gone, not being there for bedtime adjusting. And that is an adjustment for sure, but it's, it. Everyone is doing fine. It's, it's one of those things that's an adjustment that's gonna be good for you long term, but it feels uncomfortable at first, especially because Mila is probably gonna be homeschooled. So I'm like, and my daughter's so understanding, honestly, at nighttime anyways, I spend that time in the kitchen and Mila goes outside to like ride her scooter, ride the bike. Yeah. And she spends that time with Taylor. So it's not even, it's not a big adjustment. It's not like we were spending a ton of time together. No. Anyways. In the evening. But I do put her to bed and sing to her every single night so that, that part's like a little bit of an adjustment, not being able to do that. Yeah. But she's doing totally fine. I, you know, it's, it's not a big deal. I face, we got super slow last night and I FaceTimed them before bed, so. Hi. It's me. Hey mom. I like even, and she's like, it's been two hours. Get out. Right girl. Yeah. Like, okay. Well, um, what about you? Highs and lows. Highs and don'ts. Hi, was my event. Went great. Perfect. Everything was wonderful. Best event yet, then we went. I'm so proud of you, by the way. Yeah. It was so cool. Like, it's always one of those things that like, there's so much work that goes into it and you don't know how it's gonna play out and then it does, and you're like, oh my god, oh my work right in front of me, it's perfect. Um, but then we went to a beach house like right after, which was great. And I think my high would be just river and his cousins, my nieces, they're all like within a five to six month, you know, one's older, one's younger, um, two girls and then him. And just to watch them together and just know like, you guys have no clue what this is gonna evolve to, you know, like you guys are gonna have just friendships for life that you don't even understand right now. But they have so much fun together and every time they're together I'm just like. I just, I just love it. They were playing in the water just at the house. Like it was a two house thing. Like there was like a casita house that we stayed at downstairs and like everyone else was upstairs, like besides my sister and I, and um, her husband and my nephew. And we could hear them like, we would smoke hookah and my parents were like, oh, the kids are upstairs. And we could hear 'em through the window just like yelling and screaming and having fun. And we're like, this is just like, these are memories that they might not have, but like later on in life they're gonna be like, these are my besties. So that would definitely be my high. I love watching them together and just knowing like this summer we'll go to the river house a lot and they'll be together and just watching their little. Relationships evolved from when they were babies and fought a lot. And now it's like they're just best beds. Yeah. And River went on his first airplane and so that was like, yeah, that's a high, I was nervous and then the plane was delayed like two hours. And I'm like, but he did so good. He did do so good. Which was like big time for him because, you know, we went to the beach house and just an example of how my child operates, we said we were going to a beach house, right? Mm-hmm. So the beach needs to be visible in his brain, right? It's a beach house. Yeah. We get there. We're across the street from the beach. Mm-hmm. Mm. He's tired. We had gone to my nephew's game every day. Um, 'cause he had a tournament. That's the whole purpose. We were there and he, it's like the end of the night and he just loses it. There's no beach. You said We were coming to a beach house and he just. Again, got fixated and stuck on it. Yeah. And he was like riding his bike almost into the street. So I freaking swooped him up, put him in timeout, spanked his ass. Yeah. He had a full blown, you know, and then my sisters come in and they're making him laugh and it, and it'll all calm down. And then once you show him like, there's the beach, yeah. Then he's fine. But like, he's a very literal child. Like if you say we're going to a beach house, then you better fucking be able to see the beach. He needs to be on the beach. He just doesn't operate the same way. So those are just little things that I deal with. But, um, my low would be he's loved school and all of a sudden the past couple weeks, um, just crying, bawling in the morning, doesn't wanna go to school, we'll do anything. I'll sit in timeout all day. I don't care what it is. Please don't make me go to school. Um, I. Fight to get him outta the car for like 15 minutes. I get him in, he's screaming, crying at the window as I'm leaving. It's torture. It's like one of those things where I'm like, I need to be strong and I need to make him strong by making him go through this. Yeah. But the mom in me just wants to be like, I'll fucking pull him outta school right now. Yeah. I don't need to pay $700 a week for him to freaking $700 a month. Sorry. But like, it just is not a good feeling. And come to find out it's a kid in the class that's pushing, hitting, punching him, whatever, and it comes to where you're like, damn. Like, have I made him soft? Because all this time, especially with his cousins being girls. Mm-hmm. I'm very much. Be gentle, be nice. Don't, you know, keep your hands to yourself because he is hyperactive and he is a physical kid. So I've instilled in him that he needs to be gentle with other kids, you know? No, it's not. No. And now I'm like, no, punch him if, I mean, we do have a rule that if you are hit first, you do have a right to defend yourself. That's like, that's a non-negotiable. But I think the world needs more kindness, you know? That a hundred percent. Yeah. I'm gonna stand on, on that ground, but I, yeah, I mean, I think if you, you have a right to defend yourself. Yes. I don't think that you should sit there and like take being hit by any means. No. Like, but it's just one of those things that it's like, it's. I guess the realization of like, this is how a lot of kids are nowadays. Mm-hmm. Um, and then it makes me sad for the kid because it's most likely something that's going on at home that's making them like, act out. Like I don't, he, they're in preschool. Like my, my dad was like, oh, well have a conversation with that mom, or whatever. I'm like, I don't wanna be that mom. I always never, I don't wanna be that mom. Those are, those are such tough conversations to have. Um, like Mila, you, you know, I'm a crier. You've met my child. She's a very soft kid as well. She's precious. Thank you. And she, so she, but she treats others with kindness. Yes. And like, be like, that's, I'm big on, I'm big on that. So. She had someone at school say like, well, and this is her best friend, mind you. Yeah. Her best friend. Mm-hmm. And she said, um, well, you're kind of ugly and your cheeks are chubby. Oh, fuck you. Oh. And Mila, Mila sat there and she was like, I didn't say anything. Um, because she's like, what if she was telling the truth? And she's like, so I sat there and cried, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she sat there and cried. No. And she was like, I didn't wanna show her my tears. So I'm like, the, the thought of my child sitting there at a desk just crying. Oh, yeah. Until I came and picked her up because it was the afterschool program. Yeah. Broke me. So I had to reach out to the dad. Yeah. And I was like, Hey, like I, you need to know that your, your daughter said this. And it's so hard because you almost like wanna justify and be like, I, I know that this is hard for you too, but like, your kids said this. Yeah. Like, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm telling you this. Uh, but you have to have those conversations because if Mila ever said that to someone else. I'd be pissed. I would whoop her ass. Yeah. She knows that. Yeah. Like it, you don't, I'm like, you don't hurt my, my two non-negotiables. I'm like, you can, I don't care how you do in school. Yeah. I care about if you hurt someone like it. How Yeah. Like how you are as a human. Yeah. Who cares about A's and B's and whatever. Yeah. Um, how you treat people is like the highest factor of like, who you are as a human being. Mm-hmm. And I guess it just makes you realize like, because River is in pre-K and I'm like, this is just, but he's so sweet. But this is just the start of like how, and Tyler is very against the school system, which I am in a lot of ways as well. Um, but I'm not cut out to homeschool. I got way too much going on. I, I don't, yeah. I personally know my boundaries and my limits and I don't have the patience and the, I just don't have it. Yeah. Um. But I get what he's saying. You know, he's like, they will feed off of others beha behaviors and then certain teachers to, you know, they teach different things that aren't all the things, right. Everybody knows out there. It's become a whole thing with the school system, but I'm like, he's in preschool. This should not be happening already. Like my son loved going to school from the day I dropped him off. He would cry when he found out he didn't have school the next day. And now we're in the opposite situation. And it's just one of those things you have to handle as a parent, but it's heavy. I was up last night thinking I was anticipating the next morning of him crying and how can I make this better for him without. But I also wanna teach him, you're going through hard things, you have to deal with it, but he's three and a half. It's like one of those things that you're like, how the fuck do I do this? Well, like you just, I just don't understand. And I'm sorry, I don't actually, I'm not sorry. I don't care if this comes across judgmental. I don't understand how parents aren't more like, how is my kid act like I'm obsessed with it? I'm like, yeah, how is she acting? What is she saying? Yeah, well, how is she like behaving around other people? And I'm like, people who just have kids. And it's like, well, they'll figure it out. Yeah. Free Rome. I'm like, no. Like you are supposed to guide them. Yeah. So I'm like, there, there should never be a time that they are at school. No. Making other people feel bad. Like you need to step in as a parent and be a parent. Like, I, I don't, I will judge you. Yeah. I will judge you because all of us like. And you could say river. He's wild. He's a little a DH, adhd. He's a little OCD. He's all the things, right? So good. But he's a boy. He's a boy. He's crazy. He's physical, he's all these things. But I know at the end of the day, he will never be mean to any, any person in that class. And to me, that's something that I like. Whatever, say my egos big or whatever, but I hold myself high to that knowing that I've taught him that in the three and a half little years that I've had with him. Yeah. Yeah. He might be wild, he might be physical, he might be crazy and do some fucking part work, but he isn't gonna be mean to your kid. Yeah. Well, and I just wanna preface too, because like some kids who, well, and especially boys, like they have like the testosterone spikes. Oh yeah. They might get angry and like hit or smack out of emotion. I'm like, okay, reacting out of emotion is different than just being mean. Yeah. I'm like, so if, if you're, if like someone gets like so overwhelmed with frustration or anger and whatever, and like they hit, that is a mistake. And I, I understand. Yeah. Um, but if anyone is just downright, you are ugly, your cheeks are, if you are insulting or like if you get to like that point and like, and your kid is acting like that step in Yeah. Step in. I mean, because No, my kid, your kid, yeah. Never go home feeling like I. I'm gonna get beat up tomorrow at school. Like I'm gonna be No. And I'm, I'm gonna be made to feel bad at school. That's a space they should go. They should have fun. They should be learning. Yeah, they should, they should want to go. And that's what it was for him. And now it's taken away. And I'm like, I'm just upset for him because I'm like, I don't want that. Oh, I don't wanna go anywhere where I feel like someone's fucking mean to me, or you know, a certain way. And I'm an adult, so I'm telling this little three and a half year old, tough it out, be a big boy, you know? And then he's crying and screaming at the door as I'm leaving. And I'm like, and it makes it harder because he didn't start out that way. He loved it. I would walk out, bye, mom. Yeah. From the very first day we dropped him off. And I'm like, I, I told my sister. I'm like, I'm not cutoff. I'm not strong enough. I'm weak. I can't do it because the mom in me wants to just be like, come here, I'll pull 'em out. Yeah. I don't care. I'm not gonna pay this money for this type of situation. Yeah, I'll pull 'em out, I'll put 'em in like a, and I am considering like a home preschool. I think that that might be a better, but, um, again, expectations. There's, there's a lot of people out there that you know, think no, make 'em, stick it out, make 'em, you know, and that's kind of what we're going into on this podcast is just expectations in general and how they. Mess with our, our thoughts and our mental state and our wellbeing, right? Mm-hmm. Like we let other people's feelings and thoughts and opinions drive us. I don't care who you are. You can say, I don't care what people say. Yes you do. You're a human being. You were made the same way I was made, I have an example. Let's, let's hear the example because like, um, and this, oh, she might even listen to this and she might, I don't know, but doesn't matter. Someone posted something the other day and it was like such an ugly mentality, but for some reason it stuck with me. And I was like, was that about me? And it might've been, it might've been. Um, that would not have been, it, it might've been this girl posted a status and it was basically like, um. You know, when someone posts something that you can tell is directed at someone Oh yeah. In particular. Oh yeah. But they don't have the balls. Mm-hmm. To say it to them. It's like, tag 'em bitch. Yeah. So it basically was like, I can't, like, I don't know. It was on a story and it was like, I don't wanna get it wrong. Basically, like when someone posts like an influencer to like, they're all their fake followers, but like, they just wanna hear themselves talk and they're saying like, everyone always asks me for, and I'm like, I totally said, everyone always asks me for this chicken marinade, but it's just a hook. Like, it's just, it's, it's not that deep. Plus people do ask you fake chicken. I know. And I was like, also my followers are real. I don't know why they fought. I'm thankful that they follow me. Yeah. Thank you. Uh, thank you. Uh, very, very thankful that they follow me, but I also, I don't know, I was like, I've built my platform. I hope this isn't about me. I was like, I put so much work into this. Like, um, but basically it was like that and I, it was like kind of like. Even if it didn't have to do with me, I was like, damn. And then I was like, you know what? That's such an ugly, like hater energy. Yeah. It, it was such a like why hate on other people for putting themselves out there, even if it's not a way that you would. Yeah. Who cares? And I think when people on the internet, 'cause like I get a lot of hate on it, it's just when you go viral, it obviously pushes it out. Oh yeah. So like, haters come in, everyone comes in. Um, and those comments don't get to me. But when it's like someone in my community and I'm like, wait. Yeah. Like that personal, I don't like a hater energy. No, I don't like a hater energy at all. But yeah. So like that kind of like, no, but I mean, we're driven by, um, validation. It's sad, but yes. Validation or. Things that we take personal, and a lot of it is social media. Mm-hmm. It's sad, but that, that's the truth. I don't care who you are. Um, I'll be vulnerable right now and say, I can see something, say somebody like, put the effort into making like a reel on the, like it's just a day of the life of, or whatever. And then I start thinking, I should have put more effort into doing that today. You know, to like, try and put that out there to people and like, try and promote our page and try and do this. There's always something that someone else is doing on the internet that you take as like a, a strike against you as far as like, oh, well I didn't do what they were doing, so I'm less than today because of it. And it's so sad that we, like, that's our evaluation system these days, but that's the generation that we're in. Yep. It's like a, it's great that it, it exists because there's so many opportunities from social media, but it can totally drive you into a spiral. A spiral that, um. You know, you feel like this week I feel depressed. I feel low. I feel, and I mean, depression is a heavy thing, right? And a lot of people I think experience it, but they don't admit it because it makes you seem weak. It makes you seem like you don't appreciate, like how, well, how are you depressed? You have house, you have a child, you have a husband, you have all these things. Yeah. Like you, you're not allowed to be pretty much. Yeah. But it's like, no, there is, um, I don't wanna say it this way, but like different seasons of these different little depression spurts that come up. Mm-hmm. Or just blah blow, I'm feeling everything's flat. Right? Like, okay. I just had this big month of like very exciting things. And now, um, I'm coming home and I'm just in the routine of things. My husband comes home, we get river ready for bed. He goes after river, goes to bed sometimes. Tyler goes and plays this video game. I watch my show, I scroll, we disconnect. Yeah. And then the next day you're like, this is so blonde, boring. Like, and you see someone on social media that just went out with their husband to like a new restaurant and is trying something new. And you're like comparing yourself like, well, I suck because during the week I don't really do much. Mm-hmm. Because he gets home late and I'm putting the kid to bed. Yeah. But these people are making time and they're connecting as a, or weekly date nights. I love that. And I'm like, yeah, like, what is that? And I don't wanna have that same hater energy. No, no. I'm like, because it's also, it's not hater, it's, it could be a a dash of Envy. Envy jealousy. It could be, yeah. Dash of envy jealousy. We've just never had a microscope into other people's lives like this. No. And we don't know if they're doing those weekly date nights because they just almost went through a divorce. Yeah, exactly. We don't know. We don't know if they, you know, or you know, this person is like. Now doing all these things with their kid because they used to, you know, work. Like for instance, I used to work a full-time corporate job. Yep. I've never had time to do things. And then now, like, I'm like, I, I'm very blessed. I'm very thankful. Yeah. I get so much quality time. Yeah. With my kid. But like, I could see from another angle posting, we get to do this during the day. We get to do this during the day. Mm-hmm. Oh, I'm, we're gonna play hooky. I'm gonna take her out. We're gonna go do this during the day. Yeah. I could post that. Someone could be like, wow. Must be nice. Yeah. You know, and it's, we've just never had a lens into people's lives like this, but also too. A lot of us are women and a lot of us go through usually a week, a month, where we're like, you are a hideous, ugly creature. Yep. No one loves you. I'm bloated, I'm ugly, I'm bleeding. I suck. My makeup doesn't sit right. I'm sure fused, I mean, my husband will, uh, contest to this, but there's some times where he just, uh, like the other day he sneezed. Right when I was starting a conversation with him and I was like, what the fuck is your problem? Why would you choose to sneeze Right. When I was speaking, like, everything was irking me, like, irking me. I couldn't, um, I, I, I didn't even wanna get on social media 'cause I'm like, you're stupid. You're stupid. Like, I hate you. Everything was so negative. And then when you're negative like that, you're mad at yourself because you're like. Quit being that version of yourself that's so ugly. Like hating us, bitch. It's a spiral. It's a spiral. It's not good. And then again, you get in that little depression funk where you're like, why do I feel like this? Because again, I have a home, I have a husband, I have a healthy child. I have all these things that people somewhere else don't have. Right? Yeah. Like the health of your child or the health of yourself or your family is like taken for granted for because Yeah. I, um, I follow, and I don't know if she, she listens, but, um, I follow a close like family friend who her daughter is going through cancer treatments and it's been like three years, right? And she's in and out of the hospital and she has a new baby. I wouldn't, I wouldn't say new, one years old. Um, she's trying to be present for her, but she's in and out of the hospital. Yeah. And they're staying and they don't know what. You know, her immune system is shot. All the things she's going through, chemo, all these things. And you sit back and you're watching your child fall asleep. Mm-hmm. And you're feeling blah. You're feeling like, hmm, nothing exciting is happening in my life. I feel depressed. I feel low. But you're like, but how? Like my child is falling asleep, healthy. I have a job, I have a husband, I have a house, I have a family, I have friends, I have all these things. And that guilt sits in where it's like, but why am I feeling that way? Yeah. But we can't compare like our level of feelings to someone else's situation. Because like again, we're not in the same spot. You and I aren't in the same spot. Right. Yeah. We're living totally different lives. Yeah. We meet up once a week, but we are on. Different levels of life. Totally. You know, like we're, we're at different phases. We're at, we're going through different situations. So for me to compare my level of like blindness or happiness to yours, it's not, it's not a it in math terms. That's not a perfect equation. Yeah. You know? Well, and same thing with like, I mean, us and anyone. Yeah. So like anybody and, and so because me and you on like a surface level, I think when we first got to know each other, we're like, oh my gosh, we are so similar. Yeah. Like on like a, because just our personalities. Yeah. How we mesh and all that. And then we start digging below and we're like, you could be, you know, doing a new, like, first of all, you went through IVF. Yeah. You're, you could be doing a transfer coming up. You guys, you know, could be looking for a new home soon. Yeah. Things like that. You have a, you have a toddler? I have an older kid. Yeah. We, you know, I'm not married. We we're at different stages. Like we've been through, you know, a long relationship that's been through some things. Yeah. I, you know, quit. I was in corporate, quit my corporate job. I do this. Yeah. And it, and there's just so many different factors that are pulling us in different directions that actually when we dig below the surface, we are two very different people. But I think one thing that is like, that we all go through, because all of us, if you're listening, you're going through something Totally. You could be going through addiction, you could be going through a new job, you could be going through also a brand new baby. You could be, there's so many things that you could be going through. But I think that universal feeling and just. You're not alone because I think all of us deal with this at some point is one is that I have everything I wanted to have. I have everything I once prayed for. Yeah. But for some reason I'm sitting here sad. Yep. Like, and, and not all the time. Like if you are no. Through depression, absolutely. Please get help. But I think we all, it's something that needs to be addressed. Yeah. We all find ourself in that spot where we're like generational sadness, what's wrong? Yeah. Like I, what's wrong? And, um, I need to find there is a term for it. Um, it's actually so funny that we're talking about it this week because someone on TikTok was talking about this. They're like, I, I have no reason, but I sit here and then all of a sudden I'll feel like a big wave of sadness. Yeah. And there is a term for it. I, I believe you. Yeah. Because I mean, that's the bad thing about social media is that like. There's so much comparison, but also the good because we No, there's good and bad. Yeah. We find that we're not alone in that. Yeah, exactly. But it's, it's what people choose to share and that's what, like if I can encourage anybody out there, and it sounds like so silly, but. Share the real stuff too. Mm-hmm. Because I think there's a lot of people on social media. I know there's a lot of people on social media who are posting this perfect post, right? Me, everything's perfect. I don't post the sad. No. And you don't have to post the sad, but they're posting this perfect post of them and their husband and their kids, and everything's perfect, and their kids look so happy and well behaved, and their husband and them look like they're just in love for the first time ever. You know, all these things. But behind that post is a person posting who is feeling sad and low and doesn't know why. And they're posting that because they're trying to feed that feeling like, okay, make me feel better about myself. You know, like, and I feel like sometimes don't post, we don't need the negative, but sometimes it's just the real stuff, right? Like I try to share stuff about River where I'm like. Okay. I gave in today because he was being a psycho and this happened, you know? Yeah. And the reactions I get from people that are like, oh my God, my son was doing that too. Oh my God, that feels so good. Knowing that I'm not the only one. It's kind of sad. Yeah. Like the people that reach out to those types of things because they don't always wanna see the perfect stuff because sometimes it makes them feel like they're not reaching that standard that social media has set. And yeah, don't be negative. We don't want negative, we, we don't want that. Let's, let's, let's draw a line, right? Yes. But be honest, you know, like if things are going on that day and things are a little tougher, like, like fun humor, you know what I mean? Like, oh yeah, here's my kid throwing a tantrum in the store, but we're thriving. We got a coffee, we're gonna fucking fight through it. Yeah. That could make someone else feel so seen that day. Like you have no clue what you're posting, like how it impacts people. Negative, positive. You gotta think about that. Yeah. Because like again, we talk about our kids in school and the impact that everyone else has around them. On them. Yeah. That's the same thing with social media. We have that impact on people that are seeing our posts. I agree. And you know, one thing actually on that same topic, and I know we are gonna talk, we're gonna have A-P-C-O-S episode. But I think one thing recently that I saw, because obviously a lot of people talk about ozempic. We've had a lot of conversations about this. Yeah. I did a GLP one, which I talked about back in 2024. Um, I had PCOS. I have, I'm pre-diabetic and I've always had weight gain issues, even though I work out religiously. Yeah. And that hater energy that we're talking about right now, I would get, when I saw people that were just naturally thin or barely worked out, post all this food and. They were extremely tiny or fit looking. Yeah. And I'm like, Hey, little do you guys know. Yes. I, I make food all the time. I cook food all the time. But little do you know, my portions are extremely small. If I eat it all, sometimes I post and I lose my appetite, my family eats. I put it away and I'm like, I'm gonna eat this later. I don't end up eating. I go on a calorie deficit. I cut things, I cut sugars, I do all the things and I'm like, I, the, the scale's going up and it's because of just my hormones, my, yeah. You know, everything that's going on internally that is not talked about. And I got on a GLP one, I felt amazing. Um, but there's such a stigma with it and I'm like, you know. Excuse my language, but fuck that, like that. Because when I got on it, I had to work still extremely hard. But finally it was like my body was operating the way it should, and I looked in the mirror and I was like, this is the hard work that you've been putting in, and you can finally see it. Yeah. I didn't magically lose weight, it took a very long time. Um, but I'm like, it's that same stigma where I'm like, I'm gonna be very open Yeah. About being on a GLP one and then now, well, I'm switching to a GLP three. I just ordered it. So excited. Um, we're gonna do some red and see how it works, but I, I think it's like, it's that it's being real and authentic about what you're doing. And even the other day when I made that post about like, Hey, like I'm getting like, can we stop about like being like the hater, like, Hey, your boots are saggy. And I'm like, stop. Yeah. Like I've had kids, like also if you know me, which a lot of people. Don't, um, unless you've been around. Yeah. Like I've been around, but I'm like, I've had big boobs forever, so like this. Yeah. That's the only version of you I know. Literally. So I'm like, the the gravity's gonna do something, but also what does it do for you exactly. When you, when you, you just shit on someone else. Is it just like a total dopamine, like you just feel so fucking high about yourself because you just put someone down, literally. Because if that's the case Yeah. Then you're just an ugly individual that like, I don't even, I I shouldn't even consider what you're saying because you're so pathetic. Yeah. To me, I don't, I don't think that putting other people down to bring yourself higher, that's just such a nasty mentality. I don't, I don't agree with that at all. Um, I have a big problem with internet bullies. They, they drive me nuts. But I think, again, like we've talked about, like being authentic and just being like, Hey, yeah, like this happened. Let's talk about it. Yeah. Like, like it's, it's that type of stuff that makes you like. Like you're a real person. Yeah. And I think if more people came out and were like, I'm dealing like I've been doing this and like my skin is like, or in my thirties, like my skin's acting totally different. Yeah. If more people like came out, like I see a video. If more people came out and like talked about the issues, yeah. Stop acting perfect. I'm like, we can all like, oh, like we are human. We're not just this Instagram person, this TikTok person. No. Whoever. Like we are real people. Me and you sit here and I'm like, we have gotten to know each other on like a human level because we've been just totally like vulnerable and authentic. Yes. I don't think that, like if we didn't get to know each other on this podcast, if it was something else where we were totally surface level, would we have gotten along? I don't know. Yeah. It would've been a just total like. Yeah. Oh, cool. How are you? Not how you, yeah. No, but we're diving in and I'm like, Hey, didn't have my curling iron. I look like a dude today. My face is breaking out. I need a good skincare. I'm, I'm gonna reach out to all of you guys if anyone has a good fricking skincare every time I get, get out my period mecu. Okay. It's like these, like I'm on it now. Oh my God. The hormonal breakouts are insane, nutty, especially since I've been pregnant and I just, um. But those are the things no one wants to say. Everyone's always just like, look at my perfect skin. Look at this. It's like when you're more relatable and more real, you are more liked. Believe it or not, you are the body image thing. It's huge. I think everyone struggles with it. I think even, even dudes do. I think they don't like to admit it, but I think everybody does. And whether you are overweight, whether you are fit, whether you are skinny, whether you are, whatever it may be, I think everyone is trying to live to a standard. Um, we live in a generation where it's always what's next, right? Yeah. We could be living in our dream situation and it's like, but what's next? What's next? What's next? Like, that's just how we operate. It's sad, but that's what it is. I, um. I'm thin, but I see myself differently Yep. Than other people see me. So when I look in the mirror, if I am like a pound heavier or a 0.5 heavier mm-hmm. Or I feel bloated that day, I see myself just completely in a lens that like. Well, it just, it's different than what everyone sees me, but that's how I see myself and it drives my way of dressing. I'm gonna go to a more, you kind of like her conservative. Yep. I'm gonna, um, if I had plans to go to the pool, I'm not going to the pool anymore. I'm bloated. I don't feel, and it's sad because I think a lot of people struggle with like body image issues, like deterring them from doing certain things. It it alters your plans in your I didn't get in the pool almost one time last year with my child. Yeah. And I'm like, I I'm missing out on her. Yeah. On her childhood. Because I am so ashamed of myself in a swimsuit. I'm like, over what? Yeah, over 10, like over 10, 15 pounds. Like I fluctuate a lot. Yeah. And I'm like, even at the gym, I'm like, if more people would post themselves, like when I see someone post in like a workout set. And like, they actually like sit down and I'm like, and I see like a little like pouch. Not that like, I'm proud of it. I do want it to go away. Don't get me wrong. Like, I'm like, I I'm not gonna lie to you. I wait, show us, but like, show us. And I'm so we know we're normal. Sometimes I go to the gym. If I look, I won't wear oversized clothes to the gym either because I have to look in the mirror and look good. I get shit for wearing, I've always worn makeup to the gym. I always will. Yeah. Um, if I look in the mirror and I'm like, damn, girl, you look good. Then I get a better workout in. Yeah. If I go in and I feel frumpy, I feel fat. I'm like, I look in my clothes, I look like I'm busting out. I get the worst workout in. Yeah. You would think it would push me, but like, I think we are all so hard on ourself, like, oh, because no one else sees us that, have you ever met someone who, what like. I don't even, maybe they're a little bit bigger. Maybe they're like close, but whatever. I, I don't notice. I'm like, I like you. No, I like you. I'm like, it your person. I, I'm not, I don't, but that's the sad thing because the, the things that we pay attention when I meet people or I'm around people. Yeah. Like, I don't, I don't even know. That's not what I pay attention to. I'm not paying attention to like, oh, look at that. Look at this look that Absolutely know. I'm just like, I love this person. They're funny, they're this, they're that. But that's how we see ourselves. Yes. The first thing we think of with ourselves is, well, how is my makeup? How is my stomach? Did I look bloated? Did I look fat? Do I have arm fat? That's the thing. I struggle with the arm fat. I'm going to country thunder. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna wear tank tops because I have arm fat. And then I'm thinking. Fucking stop, stop. Nobody gives a shit. No one cares about you that much. No one about your fat. No one. Everyone would, I'm more worried about what I look like when I meet you than what you look like. Yeah. When I meet you. I, I, and to be honest, if you are like, if your energy is good, I'm like, you're so pretty. Like you're so I don't, yeah, no. It doesn't even matter what you actually look like. I am obsessed with like, people Yeah. Like what, how, however they act, whatever their energy shows up as. And I think like, we just gotta, we, we gotta stop man. We are way too literally. And just going back to social, we have made it like so hard, um, because I, yeah. If I post a picture of myself, please know. Please know. Put it on the record. That one, there are 100 photos taken and then I face apt that. Yeah. Like my face is smooth for sure. Like I, it's not No, it, well, I don't look like that on a day-to-day basis. No. And I had to stop because I was like posting pictures like of me in a bathing suit. Right. Because I wanted people to gimme validation and tell me, oh, you look so little, you look thin, you look this and that. Because I didn't feel that way about myself. It was coming from a place of insecurity that I wanted someone else to feed. And it's like, only you can feed that. Yeah. Because no matter how many comments I got saying that if I looked in the mirror, I still felt that way about myself. So why am I reaching? And it came to a point where Tyler was like. Why I, I don't like that you're reaching for validation from these people Yeah. On the internet that you don't see, you don't talk to Probably, yeah. Why do they matter? When I'm telling you, you're beautiful when your sister's selling you, you're beautiful when your mom's telling you. And it really hit me because I was like, why am I, why am I searching for validation from these people that I probably don't even see in person more than once a year? Yeah. And why am I basing my feelings on myself of these people that have no, like they have no buy-in in my life. Yeah. Like, they're not invested in my life, but I'm invested in what they think of me. And that's gonna drive how I feel today. Like, it's just ugly. That's ugly, but it's just a mentality and like a, a thing that's been created on social media. And that's why I try, like lately I'm like, I'm gonna post like. Just motivational, fun stuff. Like today, it was like, yeah, we've been sold the wrong dream. It's not the materialistic things. It's about traveling and mm-hmm. Experiencing things with your family. Like I'm like, I'm just gonna spread positivity. Yeah. In hopes that it like changes the algorithm on my social media because Tyler said, you need to go through your social media. Quit following these people, these girls that post pictures in their bikinis and this and that. He's like, I think what's happening is you're going on there, you're seeing all these things and it's feeding your mind in a negative way, and it's making you think a different way about yourself than really what you're actually seeing. Ever since he said that, I kind of done that. I've gone through and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but like I just need to see things that like are not gonna drive me in a negative manner. Yeah. And like everybody should do that in their life. Not even just on social media, but relationships, friendships. Family. I don't care if it's not feeding you in a positive way. Agreed. That's like making you better then. Like don't feed it back. No. Get rid of it. No, you delete it. You have to. Yeah. but yeah, I think that these are good conversations to have, obviously. Yeah. And yeah, I do think that you definitely need to change your social algorithm. Like I. I always joke, so my algorithm on my personal Facebook page, this is a sharp left turn, uh, is tweakers anding it, um, a u-turn here, even know Sharp left. It's a, it's a U-turn because me and I like to, my brother hates these videos so much and I will, I can't even describe them. Um, I send them to my brother randomly throughout the day and I ruin his day with them. That's what you do to brothers though. This is what I do. So I've, I've, I've perfectly curated my entire algorithm on my personal Instagram page to be, yes, nothing but tweakers. Um, pretty much just meth heads with a burner phone who got an Instagram and it's so funny. And then, um, so that. I've, I've worked into an art, so no one has making me feel bad about my She's a professional over there. No, because they don't care about anything. No. They, they don't care about anything. Um, and then on my cook with just page is nothing but like manifestation, so, yeah. Um, I try to keep it to that. Yeah. You have to. Positive quotes coming up. I want like, good cooking pages. Yeah. Like I also, I really like the cooking community because everyone is extremely supportive of one another. Yes. So like, it's not a competition over there. So I, I've again, perfectly curated that I don't wanna see. And, and maybe I do and, but like, sometimes it is like motivational too to like see like people enjoying their life. Like at the river or at the lake. Yeah. Um, like in their bikinis. And I'm like, you know what? Like that girl looks my size and she looks stunning. Do it. Like do it like you can. That's the thing. You can go be with your friends, like you can go enjoy time with your friends and like not hide, you can go have a good time. But that's the thing, right? We like say it's you or say it's my sister, or say it's Tara Kelly, our friends. Right. Our closest circle. When we see them, we just see the best version of them literally. And we just wanna hype them up. Yeah. Like my sisters, I just wanna be like, you guys are fucking beautiful. Yes. You look great. The outfit's on point. Yes. Your makeup's on point. Quit feeling that way about yourself. Right. But we can't give ourselves that same energy. And also we get one life. We get one life. Yeah. And I don't think at the end of it, when we're being put down in the grave or however you, you go, I don't think that our last thoughts are gonna be like, but did everyone think I looked good in my bikini? No, but did everyone think my face and my makeup look good? My hair, my, this, my back? No, but our kids will remember, if we didn't get in the pool with it, my, our kids will remember what memories we created them and what memories we didn't based off of how we felt about ourselves. Yeah, because it's selfish. At the end of the day. I, there's no other way to say it and I'm guilty of it. Yeah. Everyone's guilty of it. River. No, we're not going to the pool. But also you should, I'm bloated, but you should also in this, in the flip side, not be ashamed or, or whatever to do what makes you feel good in your body. Yes. A hundred percent. I'm getting a, I'm getting a breast lift by the end of this year. I'm getting a breast lift and like that's where my own selfish Can I, can I tell you something? Yeah. Tell us. On Easter, I bought matching dresses for me and Mila. Yeah. This is my favorite story. I'm gonna tell it to my grandkids. One day I put on, first of all, she looked like a star. She was so cute in her dress. Oh, I put on mine my boobs. Sit below the breast below. Yeah. The, the boobs were like, the breast spot was up here. I know. My boobs were directly under it. And I looked at Taylor and I said, enough, I just wanna fit in clothes. Yeah. iPad just enough. Fucking life's hard enough. I don't mean my boobs hanging the whole low, the fricking boob line. They wouldn't even, I like grabbed them. 'cause I can pinch guys. We're friends here. We're friends, they're skin. I grabbed it and I tried to put them in. Lifted. Yeah. Yes. And they get in it, they slip right back down. I was like, okay, we're done here. So with that being said, again, you should like, without beating yourself up. Yeah. But also like, do what makes you comfortable, but also don't, don't miss out on life because of it. No, but that's the thing about like the GLP one, like you were talking about, it's like, yes, accept yourself in certain manners, but if there's certain things about yourself that are just not clicking, they're not working, they're not vibing, they're, they're messing with your mental, they're messing with your physical. Um, as long as it's for you and not anyone else. If it's for you. Yes. And it's not because you wanna make someone else think this way of you. Yes. But if it's a personal thing where it's like, yeah, like I had, um, what are these called? Elevens? The priest in between. Yes. Yeah. I had Botox right there, right Back in the day. I would've never admitted that to you guys. I would've just been like, oh, look at this. You know, and I need 'em done again. I get the smallest little amount that that'll be our next, we'll go together and we'll do it. We'll go together. Those are things that like, no, I'm not making my face, like if you guys could see the video right now, I'm smooshing my whole face together. Like I'm tight as a fucking tight, tight. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. I'm doing little things cosmetic like makeup or like things that are gonna balance out hormones for you. Those are things that you we're not shitting on those. Yep. But if you're doing them for the wrong reasons and for people other than yourself, yeah. Then that's where you need to start looking and thinking. Who am I doing this for? Why am I doing it? What is it eating? What is it gonna help? Well, and that was the big conversation that Taylor and I had when I, 'cause I've talked about a breast lift so many times and he's like, against boob jobs. Yeah. Um, and, and I'm like, it's not it. And I'm like, it's, it, it has nothing to do with anyone but me. Yeah. I'm like, there, there's something about putting on a swimsuit and or putting on an outfit and like, they just, it just doesn't work because of that. Yeah. And I'm like, I want to feel good in my skin. Yeah. For me, like I wanna be able to put on something and be like, okay, that's feel good. Yeah. Like, I feel good. I'm like, but. As soon as you're starting to do it because you're like, I wanna look so hot. Like, no, I, I wanna be able to post like this and get all this validation or like, I want, I wanna go out and get the attention of every single person in the bar. Yeah. Then you're in the wrong, then it's circle, then you need, you need to take a look inward because, but it's like someone who's bald or balding or gray. Right. You know him with a bald man. Right. I know my dad's bald. He has alopecia, he has no eyebrows, no eyelashes, no nothing. Our friend has that. Yeah. And he does nothing about it. Right? Yeah. And that's just how we all see him. But he has admitted, like, I do get insecure about it sometimes, you know, maybe someone makes a certain comment or something and he's like, and I just start thinking like, should I, you know, and it's like, no, because I see him and that's just the way I see him. I saw your dad. I didn't even notice. Yeah. It didn't even come to mind. No eyelashes, no eyebrows, no hair. Um, but some people in that situation will get a hair transplant or whatever it may be. That's okay if that's what you feel like you need because it's gonna make you feel better. But my dad just hasn't done it because he knows that like it's a surface level feeling. Mm-hmm. He's okay with himself. It's just when people make certain comments, it gets to him. Yeah. That doesn't mean he's weak. It means he's fucking human. And that's the whole point of this whole episode. We can feel weak about certain things when people say stuff to us, but don't let it consume you. Yeah. Because what happens is their thoughts and their feelings are now just totally feeding everything that you think. And they're over there not thinking twice about you. So don't let them control you because again, one life, you have one freaking life. And when you get to the end of it, you wanna know that you did things for you, for your family, for your loved ones, for your circle. You don't wanna get to the end of your life and be like, you know what? I changed myself and I lived my life in a certain way for all my 500 followers on social media. And they're happy with me. They're not at my funeral, but they're happy with me. So great life. I lived, they told me. Great job. No, no. So speaking of this, let's, let's end with some rapid fire questions. The first one I have for Courtney, um, on this rapid fire, 'cause I think that your energy will just be great for this. Uh, what is the last thing that made you irrationally angry? Oh, you know what makes me mad? I'm not like a, um, like a road rager, but I don't like people that like you are going, like I, I go over the speed limit, right? Yeah. Speed limit 65. I'm going like 85, 90. And a guy comes around me flying and looks at me like, bitch, speed up. Nothing Gets me more at Tyler gets so mad. I'm like. What the fuck is your problem? Yeah, I'm already flying. And then I'll try and speed up to not let them over. I'm that person. Oh, you're petty. But then Tyler's like, dude, do, do, do, do dude. People pull a gun. You know, we're in a different, but that freaking nothing gets me more mad. Mad. And then if they're driving a Prius. Done. You're even worse. You even made, you made my blood boil even more. What about when there's a bike and a car lane? Oh, that makes me irrationally angry. Angry. I just bitched to my sister about this other day. You are not a car and you're not going 50 miles an hour. You have your own designated lane. It was created for you. You told you that you are a car and then you wanna get over here in your tight spandex with your big butt and you wanna get in front of me and go slow and act like I'm the problem. You have your own lane, bitch. Get in your lane. Nope. Yeah. Don't even get started about that. A bike in a car. I literally just, no. That shit. Mm. A text you typed out but didn't send No. Probably to me. Hey. No, no. We Okay. Speaking of like how we, we think other people's, like pe other people feel, if I can talk, other people feel about us. I thought Courtney was mad at me. Like, remember I'm like, girlfriend, I didn't post it, didn't do this. And she did not care. A single bit. Uh, no. No, this, I don't have a good one for this because the only thing I can think of is how I thought I replied to this brand, uh, six days ago, but it was just sitting in my, oh, not sent, and I was like, I'm so sorry. I know that this project is due in two days, but here's the concept I was thinking of. I'm infamous for that. Just like leaving a typed out message and not sending it Yes. Or email or whatever, so that would not fun for me. Mm. Okay. One thing your partner does that instantly puts you in a mood. I will answer this one. Yeah. He's, he answers, he never says yes or no. It's, yeah, maybe. Sure, sure. What do you think when you, nothing is like, yes. No. Like, do you, do you want this for dinner? I don't know. Maybe. No, I don't like that. Okay. What would, I'm scrolling down because I want this one. What would fix your mood instantly right now? Me? Yeah. Would fix my mood instantly. Right now. Big old coffee. A big old, I think no staycation. I'm excited for that. I think it's stay guys, we want you to DM us and tell us all the best. Like, because I know there's like the generic ones that are like, oh, this is the top resort, but sometimes those aren't the top ones. Yeah. So like if you've stayed at somewhere low key where you're like, oh my God, I enjoyed this. I loved it because we're gonna document the whole entire thing. Me and Tara went to that one in Cave Creek, uh, what's it called? The Boulders. Oh yeah. I feel like I loved that one. My mom and I got facials there my last birthday. The spa's amazing. Yeah. And like it's not hotel rooms, like you stay in your own like little Yeah. Casita I want, and there's like multiple restaurants on site that like, you get, like you order your golf cart and like they come pick you up because that's what I wanna do. I want us to hang out by the pool. I want us to document everything, hang out by the pool, getting ready, go to drinks, go to dinner. If the resort has a club, fuck it. We're not club people, but like just all the things. Right? All the things. Experience. All the things. So if you know a place, tell us what's one thing you wish you could say with zero consequence? Ooh, that's rowdy. Let's hear it. Um, fuck you. You suck. Your opinion is trash. You're nothing. Do you feel so good? No, I don't. That's mean I'm not gonna put someone else down. No, there's some people that deserve that, right? Though. There's some people that are just poopy heads. And they like this little boy Jack at my son's school. Like, can you imagine you threw his name out? Oh, Jack. Jack, Jack. If you're listening, if your mom Okay. Jack's mom. If you're listening right now, quit being mean to my son. Okay. What? What? Oh, what's your I'm in a funk behavior. What do you do? Oh, just short fused. I will make it known without like, you know. Yeah. Like how do I do it? I know I'm doing it when I'm doing it. Yeah. It doesn't feel good, but I still do it. That's my toxic trait too. So that's two questions answered. Um, did you take out the trash or are you just not gonna do that? So are these dishes just, they've been sitting here for two days. What's, are they gonna sit here or are you gonna do something about it? You gonna be a man and, but that's me. I will get petty mean. Yeah. Especially if like, I'm on my period and I'm triggered and I'm overti. If the overstimulation kicks in, then it's game over. But like, I don't really have to do that anymore. 'cause Tyler sees it in me, me and he just immediately starts like, just panicking and like trash this, that, everything before, before it hits. Because I get mean. Yeah. I don't love that about myself, but that's just the trend. That's okay. It's ugly. That's okay. We all, I'm an ugly person sometimes. Do you guys all still love me? Do you tell us, do you still love me? Okay. Tell me on social media if you still love me, please, please tell Courtney how great she is. Please, please, please, please. All right. Last question. Ready? Yes. What's we're gonna end on. Good note. What's something you're gatekeeping right now? Ooh. A food, a product, um, a place, a restaurant. Um, well, I guess I can talk about this now. Um, okay, well I thought I was gonna be on this. I'll tell you later, I'll tell you later. But the podcast Yeah, the other podcast. Mm-hmm. That is no longer happening. And I'll tell who, I'll tell you why after this, but no, I am going to be in a Phoenix magazine. Excuse me. Yes. Uh, I'm very excited. Can I hear that? Yeah, I think they can. I'm snapping, so I'm, yeah, I think that that's, that's awesome. I'm gatekeeping. Yeah. And I guess I'm not gatekeeping it anymore. No. But, but my like little interview will be in a little in a, in, I love that magazine. We're gonna have that magazine, um, framed in our. Podcast room. Let's do it. Uh, not above my head. No, because we have signs falling. Yes. We have like a work in progress situation going on here, but our for sure, our, our like set in stone. Cool podcast. She shed. That shit will be burned into the wall. I cannot wait. It'll be there. Hammer and nails. Yep. Courtney and I will also film that. Yeah. Us with hammer and nails, us setting up power tools. Each shoulda recorded us because if you can't see a lot of things have fallen down that Tyler said, just wait, let me do it. I know how to do things. I'm a carpenter. No, we got this. That was a fun day though. Yeah, it was. But no, everything's slowing down. But maybe that's just a sign that we're moving onward and upward. Call back. You like that? I did. I did. I did. We're back baby. It felt so good to be back. It did feel so good. We won't skip like that ever again. No. I don't wanna say ever, but we will try not to skip like that. But guys, yes. Life happens again, not social media, real situation. Life gets in the way and things happen. And sometimes you have to like put your energy into certain things and other things Miss out. Yep. But we're back and we'll be here. And we can't wait to talk about more things. We can't wait to interview more people. Businesses, our staycation, we have so much fun stuff coming up. We can't wait. And we love you guys. Love you guys so much. See you soon. Bye Bye.