Oversharing About IVF, Homeschooling, & Everything In Between

This episode is exactly what it sounds like: a little bit of everything. We talk about where Jess has been, what life has looked like behind the scenes, the decision to homeschool, Courtney’s IVF journey, what’s coming next for both of us, and all the random detours in between.

Whether you’ve been here since day one or you’re just joining us, we’re so glad you’re here. Grab your favorite drink, settle in, and come catch up with us like you’re hanging out with friends.

We missed this. 🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I'm Corn. And I'm Jess. And this is Mobs and Mars Uncensored. Listen to that.

unknown 0:07

Hi.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

That was so in sync. We're so back, baby. We're so back. We're so back.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Guys, I know I said this like a couple days ago. Well, I guess it'll be a week when you listen to this.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

But I miss you. I think it's been like what? Two months? Yeah, I think it's been two months. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm trying to think when that should be illegal. I know the exact moment. That I had to send you that text. Oh, I know too.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

I was sitting doing my makeup. I was gonna go get us coffee. Sorry. I just had to get myself one.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

But she got me coffee this morning. I'm like, my my angel. What is that? Black rock.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Okay, let's tell our orders because mine's not really anything. It's just a sugar-free caramel blondie blended. I was wondering what you got. It looked so good. Oh did you get cold foam? No. Oh, it just kind of sits like that. Oh, okay. But yeah, I'm stuck on this right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

This is uh my hyperfixation as well. I get a shake and espresso with vanilla and honey half sweet with two percent milk. And she said, um, just so you know, the shake and espresso already comes with two percent. Oh my gosh. Wait, the reason I said two percent is because this is actually called a honey haze shake and espresso. Oh, and that probably sometimes. And the honey haze has oat milk. Yeah, but sometimes you get a new person, and actually the guy at mine he goes, okay, honey hazelnut, and I say no. No, absolutely. Then I have to say honey vanilla, and it's a whole thing, but the honey haze has oat milk, and I do not like oat milk at all. It's too thick.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

I it's got kind of a funky flavor to me. Like, I can't do it, but I've been trying to uh I have the Nespresso machine and I like just a black hot coffee in the morning, you know? That's been my thing forever. Lately, I'm like, it's not doing anything for me, and I don't know why. I just feel like you go through phases, right? Pause, pause, pause, pause. Has it ever done anything for you though? I don't think I don't know that it's done. It's just the act of sitting drinking it, you know, like, oh, I need my coffee. I don't really know what like I could drink a coffee at midnight and it doesn't like same do anything. But then I go to Dutch Rose and I get my protein coffee. That hasn't been doing nothing's been doing anything for me. So my sister, because I'm like, I also want to try, I get in these kicks where I want to save money on things, you know, just every so often. Tyler probably loves to hear that. Yeah. And so I'm like, I could save money on not getting a coffee every day if you think about it. So my sister got like the instant espresso powder, and she's been making iced coffees, and she made me one, and I'm a coffee snob, so if it's not, you know, yeah, so I'm like, okay, I'll try this just to flatter her, you know? And I've been obsessed. So we were on our trip, she made one for Tyler and I every morning, but like I try to make it and it's not up to par. Is it the gold one?

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Yes, yeah, okay. I saw that on TikTok. The other one that I like to do, I like to buy the it's like the S T O K espresso blend. Like it's like the like the stock, the stopper. Yeah, it's the espresso blend. Do that over ice, add a little bit of maple and uh cinnamon. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, because I saw something like that, but it was like maple and brown sugar or something. Oh, okay. She's just been using like my like sugar-free vanilla or sugar-free marshmallow. I have one like that. Um, and then I have I get like the fair life protein milk.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

But yeah, she makes it and it's like but I just feel that way in general. When someone else makes something for you, it always tastes better. So good.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Wait, I have a gripe. So I tried, I thought of you when I did this the other day. Mila and I, we went to Black Rock, or not Black Rock, we went to Dutch Bros. Okay. And I got the protein coffee. Okay. I didn't get, I think you get what golden eagle?

SPEAKER_01 4:09

I get the sugar-free golden eagle with protein milk. Okay. Blended.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

I got whatever the other one that they were advertising. Caramelizer? One of the other protein ones. Hopscotch. Hopscotch. Okay. I used to do that one. But I don't know if it's a protein milk. I it didn't taste coffee enough. You have to say less sweet.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Okay. On anything at Dutch Rose, I feel like. Okay. I was like, it tastes like milk. Yeah. My sisters don't really like it because of that. I always say less sweet, like because I want my coffee to taste like coffee. Yeah. And yeah, I get that. Um, that's kind of why I've been off a lot of the places, though. I feel like I go to a coffee place and I'm like, I'm just drinking milk.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Like sweet milk. Gross. Just saying sweet milk is gross.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Well, speaking of wanting to throw up, uh, tell us about your IVF journey. I'm so I have not asked. First, we're doing highs and lows. Okay. Oh my gosh, where have I been?

SPEAKER_01 5:09

She doesn't even know how to do it anymore. How do we do this?

SPEAKER_02 5:12

All right, you go first because I I totally blanked on this.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Highs and lows. Okay. My high is we just went for four days to a cabin in Flagstaff. And like with my whole family, it was so freaking fun. The funny thing, I'll tell you a little funny tidbit, okay? We were supposed to be in Williams because we were going with my brother and then his um in-laws in that side of the family. I don't how do you what do you call that? I don't know how you explain that. Anyways, um, because it was his birthday that Thursday. So my mom books a place in Williams right on the lake, beautiful, all this stuff. She messages them like a week before and she's like, hey, what kind of coffee machine? She likes to know all the things. They're like, Hey, um, you booked this for 2027, and we have somebody coming next weekend. So like you're done. Okay, so that happens. She's immediately like, she was going to an appointment, so she tells me, like, you got to get on, find a place. Um, mind you, there's 13 of us. So it's not like you can just find a little place. So I look, no cabins in William, they're sold out. Oh, because it's tiny. So I'm like, closest next bet is Flagstaff. It's like 35 minutes away. Um, I do flagstaff. There's only like three cabins. There's one that fits us. Um she's like, just no wait.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Yeah. No, no, that didn't.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

This is back up. We booked another place in Williams. That wasn't as cool, but it was still like it was a different vibe. But we're like, oh, this is sick, you know? Yeah. Cool table, all this stuff. 24 hours before we're supposed to leave, the guy messages her on this second cabin and says, Oh, the um water tank that because it's on a well, it has a leak and there's no water in the whole place, so I have to cancel your reservation. Oh 24 hours before, okay. Everyone's driving in from San Diego, from Blythe, because we're all gonna so then I had to get on, found one place in Flagstaff. We book it. It's next to the historic um hitching post, if you've ever heard of that. And then it's like a boarding horse place, whatever. But we're like, okay, well, now we're 35 minutes away from Williams. We're supposed to go to Barrizona, the coaster, this and that. Um, but whatever. We made it work. This place was so freaking cute. We were literally out in the middle of the freaking forest next to horses and just like so third time was the charm. Yep. Um, but plans did change, obviously, because we didn't go to Williams every day. We went the first night to the Grand Canyon Brewing Company. I want to give them a shout out because it's veteran-owned and they were so cool and accommodating for our 20-something group of people drinking and probably driving them crazy. But um we did that, and then the next day we went back to Williams and went to Barrizona, then went to the little town of Williams, and then did the freaking coaster.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Okay, how would you rate like I've never done Barrizona? I saved the coaster for last because it looked like a blast, and I want to hear all about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Barrizona, I wouldn't go back.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

No, no, I know that's probably not what everyone wants to hear. But um, you drive through, you see stuff here and there. The bears were pretty much you only see a one little small section of bears and they were just sleeping. Oh other than that, it's just like deers and a couple bison. Um and then when you go into the exhibit, there's like maybe five exhibit, like five different animals. No, I wouldn't I wouldn't pay to do that again. Yeah, I would way rather pay to go to out of Africa where you can see tons of stuff. Yeah. Um the little town of Williams was super cute. Again, very small though. We went to the poouseum because my brother-in-law was like totally wanted to go to this freaking poop museum.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Are you being for real?

SPEAKER_01 9:10

I'm being for real. River got a kick out of that. It's a poop. River and my brother-in-law got a kick out of that. Yeah. So silly. Oh my gosh. But we did that. Um the Canyon Coaster. Okay. I thought it was this scenic. We're gonna go through the mountains on a little, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Um, so I'm like, okay, River wanted a ride with Tyler. I'm like, cool. He's just strapped in the front with just like a little lap belt, you know? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, no big deal. We're just cruising. I'm in front of them. My sister's in front of me. I'm videoing and they say don't take your phone. And I'm like, well, why? I'm gonna take my phone. Like, yeah. And they're like, oh, it could fall out. I'm like, we're just cruising, baby. Like, no big deal. Um, all of a sudden I get up to the top, and the guy's like, push forward, push forward on the things. He's like, push forward, push forward. Like everything got really intense, and I'm like, you know, I push forward. All of a sudden I'm flying. Oh my god. 35 miles an hour. I'm thinking I'm going over the side, and then I'm also like, is my son? My baby's back there, just with a lap belt. Like, there were literally times where I thought I was gonna go off the side because you're going that fast. No, and we get to the bottom, and River just was so fucking hyped up. He loved it. Yeah, he wanted to go again. Then he wanted to do the tubes down the in the summer, it's just grass. Yeah. So we go out there and they're like, oh, he's not tall enough. I'm like, you just let him do that with just a little seatbelt harness, but you're not gonna let him do the tubes. Literally. But no, the video is my favorite because it's just river in a nutshell. Like, I'm in the front freaking out, thinking, like, oh, he's gonna go over the side back there. And he just because my heart was kind of like, I was going so fast, I was like, oh my god, like it's an actual roller coaster.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Well, you probably weren't even focusing on you and your fun at that point.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

No, panicking of like And you are going so fast, you're going through these mountains. I'm like, I couldn't imagine a little, but no, we loved it. Oh, I want to get off so bad. Yeah, like just adrenaline shape he jacked up. Um, and then the rest of the trip he has to go. That I would a hundred percent recommend. That was actually super fun. I think it's like I want to say we paid 50 bucks for the three of us to do it, and it's not very long, but it's still super cool. I mean, you're going through the mountains. That's so fun. Yeah, I would recommend that. Okay. Flagstaff, the little town of Flagstaff, we did that on Sunday, and um it started storming as soon as we were driving out there, but we went to that little like hotel, is it Monte Vista or whatever? It's like in town. Yeah, the cutest little lounge, like happy hour lounge, we all just because there's a bunch of us, and then we went to like the basement shops, and then went to like a Mexican restaurant. We were just kind of like hutting around. It was raining, we're walking in the rain. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And then at the cabin, walks and hookah and hot tub and amazing drinking, yeah. Yeah, so that was uh the first night I drank, but I did have like I started my new medication, and um the next day I was like, Unfortunately, my drinking days are over because I felt so sick the next day that I was like, and I didn't even drink I hadn't freaking mojitos, yeah. But no, so I and now I've come to the realization that if I do actually get pregnant, it's gonna be like 10 months, no drinking for me.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Yeah, sound like an alcoholic and RAP to the mojitos and coconut, shoot, but that would be my highs the whole trip.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I love the low is obviously like my sister and I, we like we'll call each other both my sisters, and it's like, oh, we're just so depressed now. Like, why do we have to live so far away from each other? This sucks. For sure. Do you guys have anything else planned? Um, no, but like my birthday's coming up on the 12th, and we were going to what are we doing? We were gonna do something, and then we thought um we are moving our courtsite shop to Parker. Okay. So we're gonna have a prime leaf in Parker, Arizona now. And we thought it was opening on my birthday, so we're like, we're not, you know. I even moved like my appointments for my transfer. Like I could have done my transfer sooner. I'm like, I need like a 10-day to get this shop open. Yeah. Well, now the inspection is set for literally the day after my 10-day period that I set. So yeah, I'm available for my birthday now, but I don't know how I'm gonna work that out because anyone in the IVF world knows you can't tell them, like, oh move this around. It's like I have to go in for 48-hour monitoring every other day. So it's like I can't, they can't just like move some stuff around. Well, then let's at least plan like I want to do something like a spa day or like uh go to a resort and float on a lazy river and I don't know. Yeah. Movie. I love going to the movies, but there hasn't been anything good out.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

We can even just find yeah. Something. Sushi. We'll think of something.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

All of it. Well, let's get the sushi in before baby. It's another thing. God dang. Otherwise, it's all cooked rolls. Yeah. But what is your um what's your high and low? My high and low. Um, I think my high is today. Mila and I, we are gonna go back to school shopping, back to school closed shopping for the first time ever because she's always worn uniforms. Oh, yeah. Since she's been in school, which is probably a little nice. Yes, uh, it is, but now she's gonna be homeschooled, and I'm big on you have to like wake up and get ready. Yeah. Um, so like you can take on the day. So she is gonna pick out her wardrobe, her school wardrobe. That's gonna be so fun. Leave here. So what where are you gonna go? Um, we we were actually thinking last night. So definitely TJ Maxx. Yeah. TJ Maxx for sure, and then probably Walmart. Like, if we go to a good Walmart, you've been stepping it up. Walmart is so cute. So I think we're gonna do those. And I don't like I don't. She was like, Can we go to the mall? I'm like, I can't think of one kid's place. We're not going to like gap. No, the mall kind of sucks now, too.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Ours at least. Like it doesn't um you know who has cute stuff? I don't know about little girl just because HM would be cute. Hm just too, but um, Old Navy. Yeah, again, I don't know for little girl because I'm never, but like I find really good stuff for River there and me, and they usually are always having some kind of deals.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

I went there once when she was like five, and the sizing was so off. So I think we can try it again. Yeah. Because Tara always shops at Old Navy and it's so cute. Yeah. Yeah, I go to Old Navy a lot too. Yeah, so maybe we'll hit up Old Navy too. I don't know. I gave her a budget today. So let's see if we actually stick to it.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

But that's gonna be fun. You have to do like the old school, like we did, where you come out and you gotta show every outfit.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Yes. Oh my gosh, we totally that's why um at first I was like, maybe I'll order online. I was like, no, no, no, we need to make this like a good thing, like a thing. You need to get lunch, you need to make it a thing. Because I love doing this with my mom.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Oh yeah. Back in the day for me, it was limited to me coming out, yeah. Like the little ties with the balls, you know, and the hair, like all everything, yeah, matching stuff. Like then as I got older, Tillies was the spot. Tillies was a big one, pack sun, pack sun. Now you go there, and I'm like, what is this tiny little piece of cloth that you want me to put over something?

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Like, what and Mila's very conservative, uh which is good. It is, but she's like, is this too low? Is this yeah, is this showing my belly?

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I'm like, you're fine on everything nowadays, yeah. But I feel like just the style in general. Like, I used to be able to go to Target, Target's my place, and just find outfits and like like spend too much. Now I'm going and finding like I'm not finding anything, everything's like a weird style.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

It's like a we and like they have different areas. You know what actually slaps, and we might go there too? Kohl's. I like coals.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Everyone doesn't like it because they say, um, like, oh, they always try to say something's on sale, but it's because they pushed like you know, they bumped it up before. And I'm like, okay, whatever. I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

But I do know that they just have a lot of options, they have a lot of options, and we find so much cute stuff, especially for kids. Yeah. So maybe we'll hit coles too.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Yeah, you should. And you there's like cold cash or whatever, too. Like, there's always coupons.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

I always, I always get a deal.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah, I always get a deal. You should definitely do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

And low. Hmm. Maybe that work was slow last night. Work was slow, but I still got off late. I think. So that's a double whammy. I know, I know. I just had like a couple lingering customers, so nothing, nothing crazy. Um, I mean, obviously, there's an elephant in the room, and some stuff's been going on. We'll talk about it in the future. Yeah. So life and by no means is is perfect, but I am back. She's back. And that is my ultimate high.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

That is my high too. I should have said that.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Damn it.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

I'm saying it now. I'm saying them too.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Yeah. Because also, Court and I haven't had a yap session in so long. Well, like God dang. I'm terrible at texting, and actually, voice notes have has been high.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

We voice text a lot because it's just we both will be sending parrots like, okay, I'll just voice text you a two-minute long random. I sent her like a three-minute long random. Okay, here's my random. I was up last night, and I'm thinking about this idea and this and that.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

That's just what my I don't think you understand the smile that status on my face when I wake up and I'm like, here she goes. And then I I like look at the memo first, and it's like, so I have this idea.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, you're like, oh no. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

It's my favorite, my favorite thing to wake up to.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

But no, so like a lot of stuff is different in our life. We're just literally gonna catch up this episode because Courtney has new hair. I do have new hair. I'm like a new person. It looks so good. I haven't had my hair done in two years, something like that. And it's just been all one color. And so my good friend from Blythe, um, she moved up like 15 minutes from me, and she does hair. And so I'm like, I'm coming. Coming in. And um, yeah, I love it. I feel like it was time for a change. Yeah. And I've been in a new season of life. So I feel like whenever you go into a new phase of life, you should um change something with it. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

So with that, um, you know, I'm dying. I have not asked one thing about IBF. I've been wanting this whole story in person. I want to know what you started, I want to know where we're at, I want to know all of it.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

I literally got on a Zoom call with my doctor, Dr. Behara Bloom, and was just like, I just want to talk about what this will look like because before I did egg retrieval, then transfer. So, like, what's the timeline? This and that. Um, and somehow it turned into like, okay, we're doing this. And I and she even was like, make all these appointments now because I know you, you're gonna get cold feet, you're gonna bail out. And she's like, It's been five years, it's time. And I'm like, So um, everything just happened quickly and went to all like the beginning scans, and thank God and thank the heavens, I like all my scans and stuff were clear. Amazing. All like my um like blood work and stuff was better than it's been. So, like, because I thought I was gonna have some problems there. So that's also why I was like, okay, get it started now. It's probably gonna be like a seven, eight month process, but like get that stuff out of the way. But no, everything was like pretty good besides my normal stuff. I don't um process or like absorb progesterone or estrogen the way, but we already knew that. So those were, of course, low. Um, but like nothing else out of the ordinary. I didn't have any cysts or polyps or anything like that, which I usually always do. Um, so yeah, I had the one procedure where they went in and shot the dye and like checked all my tubes, everything was good there. They checked my um like internal C-section scar too, because there's can be some issues with that. Um, everything was smooth. So next steps. Um I'm just on like the pill forms of the hormones right now, and starting Monday, I start my first two shots.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Okay. What are those?

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Um luprin and what is it called? The one that burns metformin. Is this for retrieval? Uh no, this is for transfer. Oh. Because we have two embryos. So we have the boy and the girl, and we are doing the girl.

unknown 22:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Because Tyler. I don't know how I feel about that. I think once I have a girl, I'll obviously be like, oh my God, I was meant for this. But right now, my thought on it is like, I don't think so. I think I'm more of a boy mom. You know, River, I'm like tough and rough with him, and he eats his shit. And I'm like, bro, get up, do this, and so.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

But like we just talked about back to school shopping and lunch dates and all of that.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

My bank account, Tyler, I don't know why Tyler's asking for something he shouldn't be asking for here. But um, no, we asked per Tyler's request um if we could do both embryos together, because as of now, I don't see myself doing another transfer after this, but things change. Um, she said no, just she did not feel comfortable, like my safety-wise, because of how my body couldn't really handle it the first time and how that all transpired and I had to go early and my blood pressure and all that. She's like, I you I wouldn't feel like I was putting you first in that situation. Like I would be, you know, putting you in harm's way. I think I don't think your body can handle it. So I respect a doctor that can say no. And she said, and if you don't like that and you want to take your embryos elsewhere and you want to ask, you can, but I will never do anything that's gonna harm you or that I don't feel a hundred percent comfortable with. And that's why I know she's my doctor because she just I it wasn't like, oh sure, yeah, because it would cost more money. Like, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I'm like, no. So um we'll do the girl. And so Thursday I have to be put under and they do a what do you call it? Hist uh hysteroscopy? His how do you say that?

unknown 23:50

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

I don't know. They go in and make sure everything's good, and then they also like kind of spread things so they can see exactly where in my body they need to place the embryo, kind of like a mock draft, yeah, per se. Um so I do that on Thursday, and then I said Thursday? Yeah, I know. Wait, tomorrow? Oh yeah, it is tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. Oh my gosh. But my mom and I are going to get pedicures first because I said whenever I want everything to feel relaxed, normal and relaxed, for sure, and not a big deal. So she's like pedicures before. And I'm like, yeah, we're gonna do something normal with something and we're gonna make it all, you know. No, it's not gonna be a big deal. So um do that, and then I fly out on Friday, which they're like, you have to be down for three days after. I'm like anyways, so my fact no, uh not happening. So yeah, then I start two shots on Monday, and then like every week I add in like a shot, transfer schedule for the tentatively, because if you're in the IVF world, you know it all depends on monitoring and how you respond. Um, but it's set for the 31st of August. But again, if I don't respond, which is a chance, the way that I'm supposed to do the progesterone or estrogen, which I'm gonna be on the highest dose, and um I can't do any kind of like pill form or um suppository forms of that. I have to do the shot in the upper butt. Is that like where you get the knots? Like the welts or the knots or whatever. That's the worst because it's that thick, but it's the strongest form and it goes straight into your system. So for me, that's my only option. Um and if the pregnancy sticks, I will be doing that through until my second trimester.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

That girl I follow on TikTok, um, the one that her and her husband dealt with like dual infertility. Oh, yeah, whatever. She would always, she would post every single day when she was doing like her yeah, and just like the pain, it looks so painful.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Well, it's a really thick medicine and it has to go, it's intermuscular, so it goes into that top muscle in front, like above your butt. Um, which is more painful than just going into a fatty, you know. You have to go really slow because it's thick, and then after, yes, you have to like I have Tyler do the massage gun, it hurts, but it works the knot out.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Because eventually, if you think about it, I'm doing this a month before the transfer, and then I will have to do it through my first trimester, which is how many months or how many weeks? 13 weeks. Yeah. So a total of like, you know, 18 weeks. So you get to a point where where do I go now? I'm shooting into a knot. So that's when it gets um yeah. It's not fun, but it's I'm like putting it out there that like this one's gonna none of it's gonna be a big deal. Yeah, because you've done it before, you did it. So you can do it again. And that's it. It's gonna be great. And I also have a toddler now, so that will distract me from the penny because I'll be dealing with him, so maybe it won't be I won't be as like fixated on all I can think about is cute little voice.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Like if you're like mom, like I know and he's gonna be all up in the business.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Oh, why are you putting that shot in your butt? Like, and he's gonna be telling everybody, oh my dad's giving mommy shots in the butt. Okay, say that. But um, I didn't realize like I will be a little vulnerable here. I I didn't realize like how many feelings it was gonna bring up of just like fuck, like I just forget how emotionally taxing this process is, just the pressure of like the appointments and all of that, and just the unknown of like okay, I could do all of this, and at the end of the day, like I'm not exempt from it not working. Just because it worked for me the first time, yeah, does not mean that that's the outcome that we'll have now. I'm five years older, my body's different, it's a different embryo, like so many different things. So um I think like with my family and with Tyler, they're all just they just assume it is because it went so smooth the first time. And so I'm trying to be like, well, you just you know you don't know it's a different outcome, you know. Yeah. And I also just have a different feeling, and I can't figure out like with River with my transfer. I um everyone thought I was crazy, but I knew it worked. Like going into the transfer, and immediately when I left the transfer, I was like, I am going to be pregnant. Like, I know right now you're not feeling immediately confident. I am feeling the opposite. And I'm like, is it a gut feeling that I'm having, or is it a way that I'm trying to like pre-protect myself? Like, so the letdown isn't so yeah, I can't figure it out. But right now, I I feel very um without sounding doom and gloom and negative, um I don't see myself pregnant at the end of it. And that's like a weird, I know, it's a weird thing to say. But if you're in the IVF world, I'm sure that somebody out there, you know, you know how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

There's lots of um but is that your thoughts like before you started all of these shots? Because like I know it's it's I you know it's it's gonna affect your mental, it's gonna affect your it's it yeah. You've started the medication, you're already feeling side effects from it. Do you think do you think that's more of a hormodal thing? Or even before you started this and you were on the phone? And also, too, with with River, you had time to prepare as you went into this process. Yeah, you got thrown into this, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Like it was like a two-year thing before um, you know, this is a lot faster. I felt this way from the beginning, and it could also just be because it's our only girl, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure with that because it's like if it doesn't work, then that's just it for my chance with the girl. And so I don't know, like I said, I it might just be me just preparing myself and trying to like, you know, just get in your head it's not gonna work. So when it doesn't, that you won't feel so bad. I don't know. Yeah. Or it might just be the fact that it's a girl and I can't see myself being a girl mom right now because I have a boy, and so that's why I can't like picture picture it. Yeah. So I don't really know. And I'm not being, I'm praying every night to God, like I hope this works, and I hope that you know, but at the end of the day, whatever his plan is, like I just fully trust it. So I do feel like I'm in a way better mental place this time around.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

So it's just kind of like it's like picking up the groceries right now. Yeah. Now it's not like the first time when that was your entire life. You try to, you know, like there was so much, like you poured everything into that, and now it's like, well, I have to go get River from school, and then I have to do the shot, and then I have to go pick this up from the store. It's like your entire world this time. So it's like assuming me that way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

And at the end of the day, um, I want River to have siblings. Of course I do. I have a big family. Tyler wants that more than anything. But if God's plan is for us to just have River, like I just freaking thank God every day that I even had the chance to do that because in the grand scheme of things, I wasn't even really supposed to have him. Yeah. So I think that takes a little pressure off too, just knowing, like, at the end of the day, I'm lucky that I have him. But then the other side is like, I want him to have siblings and I want to experience pregnancy again. Um, I want to experience the freaking newborn stage again in a different light, hopefully. Yeah. Um, because that was all a blur and that was really like a bad time for me. So I'm like, I want the newborn snuggles. I want, you know, I want, I want to do it again. Try it over. Yeah, try it again. But we'll see what happens. It's not it's not on my hands. I can only do my part as far as you know, yeah, medications and show up for appointments and take care of my body the way I'm supposed to, but ultimately uh it's God in science.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

So let's say she's here.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah. Do you have names? I do. We've had a name for a while. Really? Um, like yeah, we've had a name since right after River was born. We were at a restaurant and um the server came up and said her name. It was so different, never heard anybody have it before. And um, we immediately both looked at each other and it had like a significance to us too, like a tie-in um to somewhere. So um we immediately were like, oh, that's that's it.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

That's it. Oh, I love it. So yeah, yeah, which I'll tell you afterwards. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't say it yet.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Don't say it yet. Yes, but yeah, have a name. I think that's the scary part too, is like you have this idea in your head and you you have a name picked out, and it's like, okay, say this transfer does work. Then I still think about you have to experience those, like just trying to make it through the first trimester, scared at every scan. Like there's just so much that goes into it that just is like, you know, just that anxiety of like, okay, yeah, next appointment, are we gonna hear a heartbeat? Are we not?

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Like, I remember that so like I would look away from the screen and just wait and just hope I heard I have so much like empathy towards anyone in this world because at what point do you get to relax and enjoy your pregnancy?

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Like everything is a hurdle, no, everything is a stressor. So no wonder that like I yeah, and I think you went through so much of that in your first pregnancy that I really think your brain is just trying to protect you from yeah, I think it's just wired to to do that.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

But I'm gonna try. I mean, God willing that this this happens and this transfer is successful, and I'm really gonna try the whole pregnancy to just put it in God's hands and not worry so much and just like, you know, yeah, let's just, you know, lay your hands over this baby. I hope that everything but I don't want to be fixated on things like that, like just up at night thinking I have an appointment tomorrow. No, I don't want to do that. No, get your pedicure tomorrow. Get my freaking pedicure. What color are we doing? I think I'm gonna do French. I think I'm gonna take it old school. French on toes? I just I feel like um my nails are horrendous because I haven't had them done, but I feel like it's just such a clean look. Yeah, it really is. Because I'll probably do my nails like that too. I can't, I don't have enough time to get my nails done tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

I usually do French on my nails, but me and Mila got matching. She got white polka dots, I got black polka dots with cat eye. Um, and then I did white on my toes, but I actually think you guys might have the same color. She did that, but glittery. This is like from before 4th of July.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

No way. Yeah, it's gel. But um Yeah, but they don't look bad. No, but they're so grown out and stuff, so yeah. I'm just thinking a clean French. Yeah, you can never go wrong with French. Yeah, yeah, because I'm going, I'm going to Zach Brian this weekend. It was the last day of the cabin. We're sitting out, we're all sitting out on the porch, and they're like talking about how my sisters and my nieces and nephews are going to Zach Bryan, and everyone knows that's my guy. He's always been, I liked him. I I kind of showed him to everybody, you know, like, guys, look, Tyler and I. And um, I'm like, I'm so sad that I can't go. Like, that's I've always wanted to go to his concert. I go inside and then I come back out, and Tyler's like, yeah, I have a surprise. We're going to Zach Ryan. I'm like, what? You're lying. So we fly out on Friday. Rivers staying with my one of his concerts. No, and I know every single song. So it's one of those, it's gonna be at that Snapdragon um stadium, which is like a football stadium in San Diego. But literally, both my sisters and um my two nephews, my niece, and then my nephew's girlfriend, who's like my niece. Yeah, so um, yeah, we're all going.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

You're gonna have the best time ever. His concerts look like such a good time.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Well, but when you go to a concert, when you know every song, it's a different vibe. It is like because you're just you know, yeah, it's like when we went to Garth Brooks. You just you know every song, you're on your feet the whole time. Like, so yeah. I I'm a little sad, I can't drink. I mean, I could try, but it'd probably be not good. I wouldn't try.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Well, it wouldn't be good. Like, this is my first time seeing my favorite artist, and I ruined my night. Yeah, I'm in the bathroom puking the whole time. Don't do it, don't do it. No, I think it'll be fun. I'm excited. It's gonna be such a good time. I definitely want to. Well, now that Mila's older, uh, I really want to start taking her to concerts. She is a she knows like every word to like most MGK songs, but he was here last year. So I I don't think I'll be able to see him anytime soon. Yeah, like um, I just bought her a couple MGK shirts, so that'll that that'll hold her over for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

No, she's I feel like she's at a good age to like start going.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

Yeah, and then like Morgan, she loves Morgan Wallen, Phil Smallone, like any of those guys. So does Tyler. But you know, I was talking about this last night with someone at the bar. Concert tickets just are so expensive. Like when I was a kid, I was like, my very first concert was Destiny's Child, and then my second one was Christina Aguilera, and my parents weren't well off. So I know that concert tickets had to be so cheap at that time. And now, and if you want an okay seat, you are spending well, upwards of thousands if you're on the floor, but uh it's crazy, it's nuts.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

That's why when I was looking at Zach Bryan tickets, I'm like, do we really want to pay that money right now with everything we got going on? And like, and then I just didn't know, like, okay, and then we gotta fly and then yeah, river, but we need to get rid of like the resell world because literally that's what it is, and then they hike them up like insanely. Crazy. No, I hate that shit. Yeah, no, but I am super excited for that. Okay, you're gonna start. Um, we both have different schooling things going on right now, but you're starting homeschooling. When are you starting? That's a good question. Um, I when's your school year?

SPEAKER_02 38:49

Whenever I want, yeah. So that's the cool part. Um, I think the third week of August is what I'm going for. We're gonna start with a recap, two weeks, uh second grade recap, like just going over things. Yeah. Um, and then I ordered all of our curriculum. So ESA was a little late paying out this year. So yeah we do the ESA method, like with Arizona. So we get um about two grand. It's a little bit less uh every quarter to go towards like educational costs. That's pretty nice though. It is so it's all it's like in like its own little class wallet, yeah. Yeah, and like they you can't just like freely use it. Yeah, um, like everything is like you like I have to like tie everything towards the curriculum. So I ordered all of our curriculum from that, and that's coming in, but like just being able to freely choose like how we're gonna spend our days. Like I was just actually going over our loose schedule with her, and I was like, okay, so we're gonna wake up normal time, yeah, and then we're gonna go hit the trail at the mountain once it cools down. Yeah. Or we're gonna go walk down central, or we'll hit our gym.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yeah, some kind of physical activity.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Yeah, we'll start our day with that. We'll get ready, we'll do classwork from you know, this time to this time, whatever subjects we want to do. Um, and like for for instance, so our science, our first like section of science that I'm doing with her is marine biology because she's now obsessed with sea animals since our sea world. Plus, that's just fun. Yes. So we're gonna do that. And then um ESA also covers like tickets to like the aquarium. So like at the end of like our little like section, I'm gonna the aquarium, and we'll go do that. And um, yeah, and then we did like our reading test. So she's at fourth grade reading level, which I was like awesome. So my goal is like to just keep her a couple grades ahead. Yeah. Um, like how we have her, but like it's just gonna, there's gonna be like a lot of freedom and just like a lot of flexibility and well, and just taking that like traditional school, because I think we have to like I have to unlearn, break that, yeah, so much. Like it when I was like, okay, and I know I do I need to hit all five subjects, right? Yeah, like and but just say, like it's the fact that we can go on like a nature walk and we can like study birds, we can study flowers, like we not just reading from a freaking history book, because I if other people there's other people like me, I don't learn that way.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yeah, I'm a um like physical hands-on learner. So when I'm reading from a book, I can't, I don't process things that way. No, but if somebody were to like take me somewhere and show me, I immediately would get it. So, like the traditional way of learning doesn't work for a lot of different kids because it's like not all kids learn the same way.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

No, or in that direction for most kids, and and you know, actually social studies was my worst subject. Oh, always that in math for me. And I genuinely dreaded it. There was something about like, I was like, this is boring. Yeah, I don't relate with any of this, confusing, but now as an adult, I love a certain historical documentaries, yeah. And like and diving into like different backgrounds and cultures and also art and and things like that. And I'm like, okay, but but I need to know the why. Like, why do I resonate with this? Like, why am I gravitated towards this? Like, what style learning is this? Because Mila's the same way. So her social studies that she was learning in school, she's like, I don't like this. Yeah, like, okay, we need to find a way to make history yeah, like uh easily absorbable.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

And that's the thing with kids is you have to find it, it has to be like relative to them or like in some way of something that they're interested in to like grasp them and like really lock in to make them understand. For sure. So it's almost like you have to kind of adapt to them and what their like learning style is instead of like traditional schools, like, nope, adapt to the teacher, and that's that. But it's like, well, what if I don't understand that? It doesn't matter. That's how you're learning. That's how I'm teaching all of you. Thousands of kids have to learn the exact same way. And it's like we're not doing the same.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

That's not work. And I know we talked about this before too, but like we're learning real things, like we're learning about taxes, we're learning about credit real life.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Yeah, we're we're learning about things that we are actually gonna use, and even X divided by Y, because I never still have not used that. My teacher, you only use it one day, bitch. No, I didn't. Never, so I never have. I want to go to my school to that one teacher and be like, you piece of crap. At what age? You piece of crap.

SPEAKER_02 43:21

What am I doing?

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Tell me, tell me where I use that, please. Like, knock it off.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

No, she's gonna be doing the budget for like groceries, yeah, like real life stuff.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Yeah, when we go out, taxes, um, credit card, like debt, all of it, yeah. Because I wish I learned about that type of stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Well, which is like why making it um through like our little home economy system, she can take out loans. Yeah. Well, in the second half in the second half of the school year, she can take out loans and payback, you know, and she's gonna have stars instead of a credit score, and you know, but I'm like, we're diving into real life things here.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Yeah, because before you know it, she's gonna be in. Real life situations with that type of stuff. And thank God she won't be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh, okay. I accidentally racked up a hundred thousand dollars in debt because I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Literally. Well, let's not even dive into the fact that ASU now has an influencer course.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

And I'm like, oh no.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

I'm like, you don't need any what to like learn how to like take a bit. People are doing this without debt. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

If you don't you can go on YouTube and figure out all this stuff for free. Yes. Let's not try and make everyone pay.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

No, it's crazy. That is crazy. So I'll definitely keep keep you posted as my journey goes on and as your journey goes on. And yeah. It's life is just life, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

I'm in a dilemma. I'm in a school dilemma that I've talked with everyone about before. Um I I feel like it was a while ago when I talked about this because Rivers been at his school for six months now. Already? Yeah, it hit the six months. So um back at the beginning, I told you guys I was debating between putting them in the farm school in this like traditional private preschool setting. And I went with the traditional private preschool. And shortly after there was problems, and um I reached out to the farm school and was like, hey, I'm I had I'm having second thoughts. Like, can I get them in? And they're like, I'm so sorry, we're full. Um, because at that farm school, they only do it's two teachers to 11 kids, which I love. Okay. Yeah. I don't think that I don't like one teacher to 20 kids or whatever. Like, you're not equipped to handle that many kids, and what kind of attention are they getting? So um that was kind of a bummer, but I was like, okay, maybe it's a sign, stick it out here. But I've given them the six months to kind of work out different kinks and stuff, and they're just not um working themselves out. He has not really even had like a teacher, it's just a fill-in person. And then there's like 20 kids when I pick him up to one teacher, and it's just a muck.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

And um no direction.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

There's some more, there's some kids that require um like a higher level of attention. Um like autistic kids that need, you know, which I respect. They should be in that environment, but if they're going to, I believe they need like an aid or something, you know? Yeah. So um his fill and teacher is also her time is just fully occupied with handling them. So I feel like Rivers is kind of on the back burner, and I'm paying a lot of money for him to be there. It's not like I'm just, you know, and I technically don't need to have him there, but the point of having him there is so he gets used to like the consistency, the routine, the socializing, yeah, all of those things to prep him for actual school. So I was feeling really icky yesterday when I took him, just the whole setting. I'm like, nothing has changed. It just seems like it's getting worse. And my tuition's about to go up, which is insane. Um, and then I literally got a message that day, almost like a sign from the farm school teacher saying, like, hey, we have an opening and you're the first on the wait list. Um, so my mom and I are gonna go check that out today, just because I like to have a second, um, you know, I'd like it for me, Tyler, but he works 10-hour shifts and he works far away. So it just doesn't, but I like to have a second person with me when I'm checking something out. Um, because I don't want to have like rose glasses on to what I'm seeing and be like, oh, oh, oh. My mom is very good at like pointing out things that I should think about. So before, you know, because we have to make the decision like today because she's gonna go on the wait list. But I have friends that have kids there, they love it. Um, that style that it is, I feel like is like a non-traditional. I feel like he would thrive. But you know, as a mom, you always question like, am I making the right decision? Like, am I moving him? And I know it's just freaking pre-K. But still, I'm sending my child there, and I just I want to make sure I'm making the right decision and I have decision anxiety. Yeah. So I'm like, fuck, I don't know. Do I do it? Do I not? Like, I'm leaning that way, but then there's that part of me that's like, well, should I just keep him where he's at? And like your heart's been pulling you towards this for a while.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Yeah, like there's been so many things to pop up yeah that have been like, I don't know about this. I don't know about, you know, like is sh is this the right thing for him? Yeah. So I think this is the right move.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Yeah. I'm hoping that I'm hoping that when I leave there with my mom, I just have like this clarity and this just like feeling of just knowing, like, okay, that's this is the right, you know. So um, yeah, but just the joys of being a mom. We have these humans that we're just fully responsible for and we have to make these decisions, and it's like sometimes I'm like, am I qualified? Literally, literally, like, yeah, no, we're still just girls in our 30s at the end of the day. But you know what?

SPEAKER_02 48:52

I knew I was doing something right when the other day Mila quoted white chicks word for word.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

Yeah, like this is it, I made it. I'm I'm doing something right. Yeah, I saw a film in Rivers in the car, his favorite song right now, Janice STFU by Drake, knows every every word. Okay, so proud of him. He has top three songs. This is the diversity. Okay, top four, technically. Um Janice STFU by Drake. Okay, A Day to Remember if it means a lot to you. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Zach Top, never lie. Okay, and Brooks and Dunney on Moon. I'm so proud. He knows all the words, and those he will in that order. He wants those played every day on the way to school, and he can sing every word. I'm like, such a diverse, um, you got old school country, new school country, rap, and you got like a alternative rock pop.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Old school.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

I love it. But I'm like, we're doing good. Yeah, we got this. We got this.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

This was so nice. This was the best.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

I'm so happy.

SPEAKER_01 49:59

We're back on our regular scheduled program, and we want to know if you want to be on this podcast, if you have something interesting to say, or even if you just want to come yak. Yeah, if you just want to yak, we don't care. Come on, join us.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Yes, please do. Yeah, and we will see you every single Sunday. Well, you're not gonna see us this one, but you'll see us in future episodes. All right, love you, bye. Love you, bye.