Oversharing about…Court’s IVF journey, finding the right school, and life

Court’s taking over for a solo episode! She’s catching us up on her IVF journey, Riv’s first day at his new school, and all the little life moments happening in between. A real-life catch-up on motherhood, change, and everything currently on her plate. 🤍

Transcript

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I'm Court, and this is Moms and Margs Uncensored. I am missing my little co-host. Um, Life is life in, and we couldn't get together this week. Um, it was just kind of one thing after another for the both of us. We have a lot going on, so I thought instead of just skipping the week, I would hop on um for a quick like 10 to 15 minute chat just to kinda give everyone an update on where I'm at. I know last week I kind of left on a cliffhanger of like, am I doing this IBF transfer? Am I not? So I wanted to hit on that. And also River had his first day of his new school, so talk about that. And yeah, just just wanted to check in. Just wanted to give you guys a little bit of something before um before Jess and I, you know, hop back in together. But yeah, as you know, life gets in the way sometimes. So um Jess injured her knee this week, so that was a bummer. Um, and she's been dealing with that, and I have been kind of nonstop with getting River ready for his new school and then just like all the medications, and we're also opening a new um Prime Leaf shop in Parker. We're moving our Zanzibar cannabis shop from Courtsite um over to Parker, Arizona. So um just getting ready, you know, like my back end stuff. I do HR, payroll, um just like stuff with the employees, marketing, um, you know, stuff for the TVs, like just all that different fun stuff. So um literally, I was like, oh my god, I can't even believe it's already Saturday. I can't believe that we're supposed to have an episode out tomorrow. So yeah, everything got away from me. Um, but I'm not drinking anything right now, but I will say I am on a big black rock kick, and all my friends and family will be so surprised by this because I'm a Dutch bros girl. Um, but I'm kind of just like a coffee snob. I have an espresso machine at home. So generally I just like every morning I drink a hot cup of black espresso coffee, like the full cup, not the shot. Um, I've dwindled down. I used to have two cups every morning of espresso, and I had to, you know, especially going into this transfer, I'm like, all right, I gotta just like chill out. Um, but I'm very picky about my coffee. Like, I don't like super milky, I don't like super sweet, I like sugar-free, but even sugar-free, like I have to taste my coffee. I like it very strong. So everything needs to be super mild as far as like sweetener. And I feel like I'm having such a hard time with that. Like every coffee place I go to, it's like super milky, or even with the sugar-free flavor, it's like way too freaking sweet. It's like, chill out, bro. I'm saying half sweet, and it's still so strong. So my go-to drink at Dutch Rose was the hopscotch, the sugar-free hopscotch protein iced coffee, which is like I think like sugar-free caramel vanilla, I'm not exactly sure, but it has the protein milk in it with the espresso, and um, it's got like 23 or 26 grams of protein in each cup, and so it's kind of like my little hack too to try and get in my extra protein. But I have been off of that lately. I'm like, I don't know what it is about it. I'm like not on a caramel kick, maybe, or I like caramel though, so I don't know. It's just too sweet, too creamy. Uh it's just not, it's not vibing. So I've been going to BlackRock and getting the sugar-free blondie blended. And I really like that because the coffee is like, I can taste the coffee, and that's what I need. But honestly, so I live in surprise, and off of the 10 in like what is it, Pebble Creek or something. Um, if you're over in that area, which is like more Buckeye area, um, there's a coffee shop called Colado's. And I think they also have one downtown. Cutest coffee shop. They have crepes, um, coffee. Their coffee is top-notch. We went there, um, my birthday was on Wednesday. And um, you can just taste the coffee with every sip, and you can taste that it's quality coffee. And I'm like, damn it, like, why didn't they build one of these on the west side? Like, Waddell is like where I'm near. And if you know Waddell, it's this hot spot. Like everyone is there. It's like the new bell for this side of town. And I'm like, you should have freaking built a Colados over there because everybody, it would have been booming, it would have been so booming. But no, they didn't. So um, unfortunately, I can't make like a 25-30 minute drive every day when I want a sweet treat because that's who I am. And I also just posted on my social media that I was gonna try to cut out the um, you know, getting a coffee and start making my coffees at home. Obviously, that's not going well for me. So there's a life update. Um, something about getting in my freaking car and listening to music, I have to drive through and get a coffee somewhere. It's like a bad habit. Even when it's not on my mind, it's like an autopilot thing. Like I just am driving and I somehow end up in a coffee drive-thru. So I don't know. I there's like something wrong with me, I guess. Or I'm just a girl. I think that's what it is. I'm just a girl. So, but yeah, colados. We went there. Um, so my birthday was Wednesday. We went to the Meet the Teacher for River. Um, my mom came, it was great. Checked out the school. It was just an opportunity for him to like see where he was going because he's been going to a different school for the past six months. So I was kind of nervous, just like cold turkey dropping him off somewhere new. So got to go there. It's cute little farm school. There's chickens. Um, it's just very much like child-led. So they still go by a standard curriculum, but it's all like they're doing it in fun ways and they're going by, you know, like the way that the child is learning. So if they're outside and they are just like super into rocks that day, then like that's how they're gonna do their math. They're gonna count with rocks or whatever. So they meet the child where they're at, they're still getting, you know, the knowledge and all the info and curriculum, but they're just adjusting to the child, which I think is awesome because um, you know, just like us, like we have to learn in a way that is like fun or interesting to us, or else we don't obtain information, like unless you're just a nerd. Um, but if you're like me, it has to be interesting to me. It has to be in a way that I am like like soaking it in and can like understand what you're talking about. So, like, yeah, these are four and five-year-olds. So of course you should, you know, not have them just sitting in a classroom all day and um trying to be still and doing all that. So that's a talk for a different day, though. That's a talk about, you know, the school system and the way that I and I think a lot of other people do not think that it's um, you know, ran or put together properly. But again, that's for another podcast because I also know that Jess feels very strongly about that. Obviously, she's gonna be homeschooling, so um, which I can't wait to hear like that journey with her. I feel like I'm like alongside. So yeah, we went to the Meet the Teacher, and then after that, we drove um, like I said, over off the 10, went to Colado's, um, had a really good salad, really good coffee, ended up spilling the rest of my coffee on my seat in my car, which fuck my seat. I don't really care about that. I'm talking about I spilt my freaking coffee on my birthday. That should be legal. But um, after that, we went to Hobby Lobby and we let River run around and pick out um like new decor for his room. His room has just been like, like, there's not really decorations in there. It's not like a little boy room, it's like more of a guest room. But I was like, you know what? Like, I want to turn this into like a little boy room. He still sleeps with us, which come at me. I don't care. I have no interest in him sleeping in his own room right now, unless he was like, oh, I want to. But the idea is to start getting him comfortable in his room so that he eventually, when he's 20, I'm just kidding, went like, you know, within the next year, start sleeping in his room. So it was fun. We went to Hobby Lobby and just literally I let go of all of my like aesthetic control and let him like pick out stuff. And he went with like this like racing theme, like Hot Wheels, racing, um, kind of like old school, like dodge truck, like I don't know. The whole theme that he went with, I was like, holy shit, this is actually super cute. So he picked out all that at Hobby Lobby, and then um we went over to where did we go? Like TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, Marshalls, like all those types of places, which the one over there, the Home Goods, turns into the TJ Maxx, which is crazy. Like you're just like all you're in Home Goods, and then all of a sudden the other side of store is TJ Maxx. Like you don't have to leave and go outside, you're just in it. So um, yeah, we went there, got some stuff, and then we went to there's a brand new potato bar and off the 10 that um didn't even know anything about a potato bar, and my mom wanted to check it out. It reminds me of like middle evil times, or at least the way that this one's set up. It's just like all this crazy unique, like we my mom and I were like, I feel like all these decorations and all these like huge couches and like tables are meant for like a castle or something. Like everything in there was like jumbo size and like obviously super expensive, but cool to check out. Um she just wanted to check that out, so we went there, then we headed back over towards Baudel and went to Bath and Body because I had so many coupons. We got so much good stuff, wallflowers and candles and all the things. And then we ended at Twisted Sugar because I um love a dirty soda, and my dirty soda order is either because it has to be sugar-free, either a fresca or a Sprite Zero with sugar-free watermelon and sugar-free peach. So bomb. So got that, got River a cookie, headed home. At that time, it was starting to get super stormy, and my mom went home. Tyler got off of work. We were gonna go to dinner, but like River was tired at that point. I was tired, and then it was stormy. And if you know me, I have an extreme fear of traveling, like being in the car when it's storming. And this literally happened to us when we were headed to Flagstaff for my brother's birthday, like the end of July. We're going, okay, not only storm, but going through the mountains. That's like an even deeper fear of mine, an extension fear. And then, extension, extension, on top of that, we turn on my windshield wipers and they're all stringy, not working. Fuck my life. I'm freaking out. River just had woken up from a nap and he was like having growing pains and he was crying, like he was like out of it crying. So he's doing that. It's foggy, it's pouring. I'm not talking just rain, it's pelting, like insane. I felt like we were hydroplaning. I can't see anything. We can't see the cars in front of us. Tyler's like, chill out, chill out. My sister, Danielle, was in the back and Chase, they're kind of laughing. And I'm like, this is like worst case scenario for me. So yeah, didn't want to live out that type of situation on my birthday. Um, like final destination shit. So we ended up just ordering Cafe Rio and um just chilled. And I started a new show. I my mom told me to watch Homeland. Her and my dad have been binging it, and I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna like this. This is very, I think it's like a government-y show, and I don't like too much like politics government talk. So I was like, I really do not think I'm gonna enjoy this, but I just threw it on when I was putting River to sleep, and I'm like, uh, screw it. Like, he's just laying here, whatever. Got sucked in, got totally sucked in. Like right now, I'm thinking about after this, I'm just gonna go binge. He's at a sleepover at my mother-in-law's, and I'm like, everyone's like, what are you gonna do tonight? I'm like, I'm gonna fucking binge this show and chill out and not be asked for anything from anybody. So that's exactly what I'm doing. So if you have not watched Homeland, I think it's kind of older, but there's like I think like a good amount of seasons. Um, watch that for sure. But yeah, so that's what I did for my birthday. And then um tomorrow, my sister and mom and I are doing a spa day to celebrate my birthday. So facials, massages, like, and then like we added on like a foot reflexology massage and a lunch, and yeah, so I'm excited. We got a bunch of um gym stuff too. We've been trying to get our garage um cleared out, and we finally did. Thank you, mom. She came over the other day when I was stressing, and I I like to like stress rearrange my house whenever I'm feeling like totally overwhelmed. I know. Totally, totally normal thing to do when you're feeling overwhelmed. But we rearranged, we like redid the guest room, we redid Rivers room, we redid this little room next to my living room, turned into like a little coffee, like I don't know, lounge type of thing. Cleared out my garage, moved a bunch of stuff because we have a tandem. So in the tandem back part was just like all crap storage stuff. We cleared that entire thing out. And now we have the gym mats down and we have like our elliptical, our rower, and then we ordered a squat rack, um, a workout machine, the pull-up dip bar, all the bars and bells and whistles, um, the rope, the mirror, a big industrial fan, like all the stuff. So tomorrow when I'm at the spa day, Tyler is going to finish putting together our gym garage. So I am super stoked about that because we've been kind of like putting that off, but wanting to do it for a while now. And if you're like me, when I have like easy access to gym equipment and stuff like that, like I don't have to, you know, especially now having a kid and like just shit going on. Um I don't want to get in the car and have to drive to the gym and then oh, it's packed and I'm waiting for this machine and I'm waiting for that. No, I want to vibe out in my garage, work out literally whenever I desire. And I want to just be able to do it whenever I can. So I'm super excited for the garage gym to come into play because also River can be out there riding his bike. Um, and he likes to try to work out too. So yeah, just one of those things that like it could be seven o'clock at night, and I'm like, hey, let's let's go work out. It doesn't have to be this whole plan thing where I have to drive to the gym and plan it in around when it's busy and when this is going on and that's going on. So definitely a quality of life move there. Um so yeah, I'm super excited for that. That was part of like my whole birthday present thing. Um so yeah, that's kind of what I have been having go on. And River did have his first day at that school on Friday, and he did not cry. So I am like so happy for that. I was I was kind of paranoid about like, oh, I don't want to go through the crying phase again. Um, which we very well possibly could at some point, but he didn't cry the first day. He was excited. Um, it was a totally different vibe than the other school. The other school you just kind of dropped off, and it was like a hurry, like you're not really parents aren't supposed to come into the classroom. So I never interacted with any other parents or really saw very many for that um matter. This school was like totally different, like the first day, like everyone was there, like the siblings, the moms, the dads, like it was like everyone knew each other from last year, too, from like the shorter schedule. And um, it just seemed very more like family. Um side note, I did go by myself and I was probably the only one without her husband there. So I'm like, oh my god, they probably all think I'm a single mom, which whatever. But I didn't want to have Tyler take off a whole day of work just to drop River off at school. Um so yeah, but totally different feel there. The teacher is so sweet and so great with River already. And um, he had a really good first day, and I'm just excited to see kind of like how he evolves there and how he grows. And I think this is a school where he can gain a lot of confidence and like responsibility, and like they have little jobs and just different stuff like that, and just like I think he can really be himself and like you know, show his creativity and like just they don't try and put these kids in boxes there, and um I think that was one of the biggest things for me is like I sometimes I think do that to River, like trying to make him like, okay, stop moving, stop doing this, do this, do that, don't be jumping, don't do this, don't, you know. Um, but at the end of the day, like he's four years old, he's a boy, and some of those things I need to let go and just like let him be what he's being, obviously, to a to a line, right? I'm not letting him like disrespect or be crazy in public or anything like that, but there's certain things where I need to learn to let go more and like let him be him. And I think that this school is like very good at that. So I am excited to kind of like learn from that as well, like that vibe. So we shall see how this all unfolds. I'll keep you posted. Um, but yeah, the IVF. Uh my mom came over the other day. Like I said, I was overwhelmed, I was stressed. Um, I was gonna have to add in new medication the next day, and I didn't want to do that if I wasn't going to go through with the transfer. So it was like a real pressure day of like, I have to make this decision. And I was not feeling like confident either way. And so um, if you know me, I like to have things planned out, I like to know, and I wasn't feeling that way. So I called her over. We stressed, cleaned, organized, and rearranged my whole house and we talked things through. Um, I love my mom for that. She's so like, how do I say? She doesn't teeter you in one way or the other, but she also is very raw and real with you and will tell you, like, hey, like, be realistic about this or that. She just brings out good points and stuff, but she's very supportive in doing it. But she's not one of those that's gonna tell you everything you want to hear, which I don't want that. Like, I tell myself what I want to hear in my own head. Like, I don't need my friends and my family to do that. So we just talked everything out and talked about my fears, um, you know, which which my biggest ones were, you know, one of my biggest ones is the postpartum anxiety. I think I'm I'm scared of that happening again. So I'm kind of trying to shelter myself. Like, oh, if I don't go through with the transfer, then the postpartum anxiety can't happen. So that's kind of my way of like eliminating that. Um, but you know, that was a big thing, and then just like losing myself and having another kid again as I feel like I just got myself back, and maybe just not going after these passions and these things that I have been putting off and now have the time to do. So um, those were kind of the two main things. And after talking through with my mom and my sisters and my husband, and just in general, just kind of, you know, really taking a look at that and realizing that like this experience is not gonna be the same as the first one. Where five years later, it's my second kid. I also know that that hormone drop and all of that after IVF was like, you know, contributed to my situation. I also know that five days of being induced and being given Pitocin and all these medications didn't help my postpartum and emergency C-section. Like there were a lot of different pieces that went into play that caused that experience to be what it was for me. And I have to remember that this experience is different. It's it's a whole different one. So, yes, I am going through IVF again, but it's shorter. Um, the first time I was doing IVF for two years before I did my transfer with River because there were different things that came into play that um kind of kept, you know, stalling the transfer and having to start over and and keep on the medication. So I was on hormone medication for two full years, you know, from the egg retrieval to the transfer and the And things kind of stalling and starting over. So um there was that factor. There was the factor of the way that my labor played out was very traumatic. And um also it was my first child on top of all of that. So I have to, you know, as my mom said, remember that this experience is different. It doesn't, you know, just because what happened the first time did doesn't mean that it's going to this time. And I think I just associate it with IVF. I'm just like, well, I'm doing IVF, so it's gonna be the same. But again, this time the the hormone, um, you know, like all the injections, all the shots, all the the pills, the patches, and all the hormone medication that I'm taking is a lot shorter of a stint. Um, I will have to do it through my first trimester if, you know, God willing, I get pregnant. But I'm not doing a two-year stint of that. It's been about like, you know, three months of um of everything. So um that in itself will be different. Um, I know now that I most likely will just have to have a scheduled c-section because of circumstances that I have. So that will be different. I won't be getting, you know, induced in and laboring for five days and in such an emotional and physical state where it, you know, it turned into an emergency c-section. Like that, that won't come into play. It'll just be a scheduled situation and you go in and you know this is happening. Um, and and it's gonna be my second child. So I would hope, you know, like you're gonna be nervous with all your kids, and there's gonna be that that normal amount of mom anxiety that always exists no matter how many kids you have. But I think, um, from what I hear, with your second, you have a little knowledge from your first. You know, you know the things that, like, okay, this isn't rational to freak out about. I I went through it with him. So there's things you have something to compare it to. You have a baseline, right? So that's a big part that's different. And I think in general, just knowing that all of this happened for me the first time, I've talked to my team and I've made it very clear like, hey, I want to make my postpartum like a huge priority on everyone's um, you know, I I want it to be on your guys' like the top of your list, you know, as far as my OB team. Like, we know this happened with me before, so I want to nip it in the bud before we get to that point, if if we get there, you know? So um just kind of coming off of the hormones in a more subtle way rather than a drastic drop. Um, and then having some kind of stimulant ready if if I do need that. But I think there's a plan in place, and so all of those things combined really helped me feel like, okay, I'm going into this and I have to be positive, and I want to do this because at the end of the day, I do know that I do want River to have a sibling. I do know that I want a chance at being a girl mom. And I do know that in the, you know, in the grand scheme of things, I want another chance at this. I want another go at this. I want, you know, to expand my family in that way. I know I have that love to give to another little human being. Um, and I know that I'm capable of giving it to both of them because that was another fear, you know. Am I able to spread it? Because I just love him so much and it's just been him and I. But he's gonna be starting kindergarten by the time, you know, around the time that God willing, she would be born. And so he'll be at school and I will be able to shift myself. And yeah, I think another thing is just giving myself more fucking credit and more like believing in myself more that like you're capable of this. You got this. You're trying to freak yourself out because I think it's a coping mechanism with like how you think you can handle, like, okay, if I just act like I don't want it, then it's not gonna hurt if if the transfer doesn't work. And it's like, that's a cop-out, and I don't want to be that way. I don't want to just not do things because, you know, it might be hard or the outcome might not be what I want it to be. Um, that's something I stress that I want to teach my son, you know, that like you're gonna be in uncomfortable situations, things aren't gonna turn out the way that you want them to sometimes, but you still go through it and you you man up and you do it, you know. So who would I be to just kind of, you know, give that advice to him and live by that way, but turn around and be like, oh, well, you know, this could go wrong or this could go wrong, so I'm just gonna bail out. So in saying all that, um, I have decided, you know, we have decided that we're gonna go through with this transfer and it's all in God's hand. And, you know, I pray to God that, you know, on the 31st that He's laying His hands over us, and um, you know, our little girl embryo is put in and she flourishes and she grows, and you know, one day she's here earthside. That is the ultimate, you know, hope. And all I can do is literally just give it to God and give this process my all and stay positive and stay healthy. And I think just like lean on people more when I do need help. I'm really bad at like asking for help or just admitting that I need it, I guess. So I think I've already like realized a lot of things, and you know, I have grown in these past five years, so I'm a different person mentally and and maturity-wise as well. So I think I just needed to remind myself, like, hey, you're not that that what felt like a young girl that was scared and going through all these things. Like, you have a lot more tools and resources and mental and emotional capabilities than you're giving yourself credit for. So buck up and like, let's fucking do this. So that's your reminder, too. If you're in the thick of something, you're questioning something, or you're scared of something, like give yourself more credit. You're stronger than you think you are, literally, probably 20 times out of 10. And we are our biggest doubters, so don't let that doubt crowd you and crowd your mind from really going after what you want to go after. So that's my message to you. I have made a vow to myself that I am still gonna go after these passions and these things that I want to go after. I am going to, you know, be a woman of many hats, and I'm going to try my best to be a great mom, but I'm also gonna try and feed, you know, that independence in me that wants to go after certain things and show my kids that you can do it all because you can. You just have to, you know, have the balls to do it. So that's where we're at there. Um doing all the shots and all the things. Um literally, as you know, as soon as I get off of here, I gotta go do some things, get some medication. Um but yeah, so the 31st is when the transfer is planned. If all, you know, I have to go in for monitoring every 48 hours and make sure everything's progressing and the medication's doing what it needs to do. But God willing, it will be on the 31st. And yeah, we'll see, we'll see what happens from there. But I really appreciate everyone that has reached out to me. A lot of you have from listening to the podcast and stuff, and just reach out and just like, you know, been thinking about me or just, you know, giving me little bursts of encouragement. And it really does mean a lot because in today's day and age, I feel like there's a lack of women supporting other women. Um, and I'm no feminist by any means, and that's a talk for another podcast. But I think we all like to say, like, oh yeah, I root for people or I root for my friends, but sometimes it's lacking, or there's that competitive edge of like that little bit of like, oh, I don't want to see them do good because it kind of clouds maybe me not doing so good, or oh, they're at a better place in life than me. So I don't really like that. There's a lot of comparison. Um, so I appreciate everyone reaching out to me and rooting me on. And I have really been trying to do that with everybody else lately and just like try to lift people up because shit's too heavy in this world. We don't need to be putting each other down when there's so many other factors that do do that naturally. So yeah, whatever you're going through, I'm praying for you. I'm thinking about you. And you got this. You freaking got this. So that is my little update. And yeah, I can't wait to be back with Jess next week. And we have fun stuff planned and fun content planned. Um, more kind of like behind the scenes or just us making drinks or different little things or different little crafts. Like we have lots of different ideas. We want to highlight different businesses, so as always, reach out to us if you feel like there's a local um, you know, we always like family owned or mom and pop. So yeah, we have so much fun stuff planned for the rest of the year and going into this beautiful fall season. So can't wait for it. I love you guys. Everyone have a wonderful week ahead, and we will talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.