That Badass Broadcast
That Badass Broadcast is for women over 40 who lift weights—or want to start. It’s about strength, resilience, and redefining what’s possible. Hosted by powerlifter and writer Miriam Lawrence, the show features real conversations with badass women getting stronger in every sense, plus the experts who help them do it. Whether you’re training for your first deadlift or chasing records at 70, you’ll find bold stories, smart strategies, and the inspiration to unleash your OWN inner badass.
That Badass Broadcast
We Have to Keep Moving
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Every day, Tara “Taz” Kittrell sees what happens when people stop moving, stop challenging themselves, or slowly withdraw from the world.
A competitive powerlifter and psychiatric nurse practitioner, Tara became an EMT at 54. During the week, she helps college students facing mental health challenges at the University of Arkansas, Little Rock. On weekends, she rides the city streets in an ambulance.
Those two worlds have led this freakishly strong deadlifter to one simple conclusion: we have to keep moving.
In this episode, we talk about:
- How both terrible and extraordinary coaches have changed the course of her life
- Training through injuries, arthritis, and a thyroid storm, and why she sometimes deadlifts in street clothes
- Why she became an EMT at 54 and how she earned the respect of her much younger colleagues
- The heartbreaking consequences of immobility she sees in her work as a first responder
- Student "bed rot," mental health, and why movement matters at all ages
- How getting stronger changes so much more than your body
- Why driving an ambulance terrified her, and how she’s managed to overcome that fear and do it anyway
- How her "Deadlift to Uplift" program is getting everyone from college freshmen to the university chancellor to pick up a barbell
Tara sees every day that building strength isn't just about lifting heavier weights. It's about preserving our independence, our confidence, and our ability to keep living life on our own terms. By the end of this conversation, you'll understand why she keeps coming back to the same simple message: We have to keep moving.
Follow Tara on Instagram @tarathewalkingdeadlifter.
For show notes and past episodes of That Badass Broadcast, visit thatbadassbroad.com/podcast.
Writing on strength, training, and competing later in life at thatbadassbroad.com.
Clips and training on Instagram: instagram.com/mirslam.
Full episodes on YouTube: youtube.com/@thatbadassbroad.
Welcome to that badass broadcast. Real stories and straight talk about lifting weights for women in midlife and beyond. Tara Catrell, welcome to that badass broadcast. I am so delighted you're here. Um Tara is a fellow masters power lifter and she is a killer deadlifter. She actually pulled 320 pounds. That's 145 kilo for our friends that do kilo math at 128 pounds of body weight, right? That's 58 kilo. And it's also just an all-around badass. Tara decided to become an EMT at 54 years old. I think I've got that right. And so you can see why I absolutely had to have her on this podcast because you like personify a badass bra, Tara. We've been Instagram friends for a while, which in the strength community means like we watch each other do ridiculous things, we cheer each other on. And I have to say, in my case, occasionally I wonder if you ever sleep. Because between your day job as a nurse and the ambulance, like weekends, and apparently you're always managing to pull something very heavy off the floor, even if you're wearing street clothes. So I don't know when you sleep, but before we get into all of it, before we get into all of it, um, I just want to spend a little time getting to know you because even though we follow each other, we don't know each other that well. Um, I know you grew up in Boston, right? But I think you're in Arkansas now. Do I have this?
SPEAKER_00Arkansas.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, okay. Well, so how did that happen? Just give us a quick picture of sort of where you are, how do you spend your days, who's in your world?
SPEAKER_00So I have now been here like over half my life. So I'm 56 years old. I moved here when I was 26 with my boyfriend, who's now my husband. And we've been going on July will be 28 years. We have two kids. We have a 21 and a 23-year-old. And um, yeah, like my accent will come and go, but when I'm in the ambulance, I really jazz it up like I'm like Matt Damon from the de padded, you know. But yeah, I grew up in the Boston area, and long story short, or with me a short story long, I moved to Georgia, and that's where um I got my master's in counseling. And then I um was a foster care caseworker in Savannah, Georgia, and the big top-tier dude was embezzling funds, so I had to get out of there and get another job. And so I worked with DeCab County, where Medea's from, in Decatur, Georgia, and I worked with police officers as a mobile crisis unit, uh, counselor, and I'd have to rotate into a in into a detox center in a jail. And that's how I met my husband, who was doing forensic, forgive me, psychiatry um fellowship. And so that's how I met him. So we're kind of both in the mental health field, and I just follow him back to Arkansas and I've been here ever since. So over half my life, Miriam, I've now been in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Miriam LawrenceWhat a change, huh?
SPEAKER_00Or is we stay up in the North Arkansas.
Miriam LawrenceI'm not even gonna attempt it because even though I live in Vermont and I've my husband's got family that are from Boston, I've lived in Boston. Every now and then I can get a little teeny bit of the accent right, but if I do it in front of my husband and or my one of my besties is from is from Medford. I always lunge into a Brooklyn accent by accident because that's really where my roots are, and they're just not the same. But so you're a nurse and you're uh you're a psychiatric nurse, is that right?
SPEAKER_00Yes, I'm a psychiatric nurse practitioner.
Miriam LawrenceOkay.
SPEAKER_00So I have been a psychiatric nurse practitioner since 09. So what is that now 17 years? Okay. And I am the sole psychiatric nurse practitioner for the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. And so I'm a licensed professional counselor as well, and an APRN, and I'm fully independent, so I don't need doctor oversight anymore. But, you know, I will bounce things off my husband because my husband's a psychiatrist. And so it's kind of cool because I've been here for 16 years, so I've already seen a generation come through and just the trends in mental health and psychiatry. And before that, I was an ER nurse and I was a sexual assault nurse examiner too through our level one trauma hospitals, uh UAMS, and so I worked there, and then um just kind of had an itch. I wanted to scratch. Um, my youngest graduated from high school, so at 53 I took an EMT course, and then at 54 I joined um our city ambulance company.
Miriam LawrenceWell, we're gonna talk more about that in a little bit. Um I'm interested in what drew you to psychiatric sort of nursing. How did you end up doing mental health focus?
SPEAKER_00Sure. When I was a kid, I would I was a sporty kid and I ran track, and then when I went to college, like I want to be an athletic trainer. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna be an athletic trainer blog. And then you know, I was in the late 80s, early 90s, and we were talked to any old way. You know, title mind wasn't a thing, and we're just treated like shit. And I'm like, oh my god, I hate athletes, even though I was I hate these people. Oh my god, they're horrible. And um, I would go back home because I'd have to take a Peter Pan bus to go back home. And once I was on one and we got pulled over because somebody had a warrant, you know, it's kind of like, you know, we're just in New York it was the short line, but it's the same thing. Hopefully, we could get there in one piece. But I sat next to a woman who was like, I was reading my abnormal psychology textbook, and she and um she just started to tell me her life story, how she was like, you know, she was a prostitute and this and this and this, and it just kind of gave her space, and she just said, You're really easy to talk to. Like, you should really do this for a living. And I was like, hmm, that really kind of pushed me into it, like, yeah, maybe.
Miriam LawrenceIt's kind of like a light bulb, it sounds like. Yeah, yeah. And have you found it uh rewarding?
SPEAKER_00So I think overall, I think I'm well suited for this, but I've been doing it for a long time, and I at times really struggle with burnout. During the week, I hear a lot of drama and and trauma, and then on the weekend it's the flip. I see drama and then I see trauma. And I think you know that's how the power lifting comes into play. Seeing the same students over and over, and some who are pretty severe, it just sometimes feels this non-stop. At times I could really feel the burnout, you know, where I'm like, there's just so much I could do, you know.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, well, and especially because you're dealing with with college students who are already going to be prone to being more impulsive and having a difficult time with control of their behavior. And you've got kids that are in that age range, and I would imagine I I have kids a little tiny bit older than yours, but same, you know, it would be really hard in terms of that emotional attachment because I would sort of like want to mom them up, you know. Yes, yes, and I have to struggle with that too, right? You can't, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And and it's so funny you mentioned that because like I've I've kind of learned to lean into like you know, transference and counter-transference. Like I've said to many students, I'm like, look, when you get pissed at me, it's because maybe I'm reminding you of an auntie. When I get frustrated with you, it's because like I I I know you're not my kid. And I want to and I also will tell them this I go, I'm sure your mom is delightful, and I don't want to come off like your mom. However, so I've learned to kind of lean into it in a sense. Yeah, you know, um, I do like what I do overall. I think I'm decent at what I do because I'm like I kind of have a dark sense of humor, a little weird, um, but not like it's somebody told me this at work. They go, You're crazy, but you're like you're a good crazy. Like, thanks, I think. But also they say that because of powerlifting, Miriam. How dare! How dare?
Miriam LawrenceWell, that and that's a perfect segue along with you mentioning powerlifting earlier because it seems like that would be an incredible outlet for you in in helping you with that numbness and that just all of the feelings of fatigue and burnout. So, so talk to me a little bit about that. And how did you get into powerlifting in the first place? You were a track athlete when you were young, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So, you know, I ran and then I abruptly stopped my freshman year because being from the Boston area, everyone likes to hop into the Boston Marathon. So I was a 200, 400-meter sprinter. I was very good in high school, but then I get to college, I'm just getting my ass kicked, you know. And me and another runner on the team are like, let's hop into the Boston Marathon. And this is the time that you could hop into the Boston Marathon. Casually run 26.2 miles. Yeah. You didn't even have to register. You just come and they'll give you a little wrap around after. And um, I did it in like it was starting to get dark. I think I did it in like around five hours. And um, my mother was a nurse at Boston College, and a lot of the nurses and docs will work, you know, at the um the finish line. And one recognized me and is like, oh my god, you're not looking good at all. You know, because the way I thought to train was, well, I can do if I can run 13 miles, I can mentally I could do 26.2. I I could, but physically it was a very bad idea. Yeah. So then my coach found out that I did that and fudged my time so I'd get into a crazy fast heat. Yeah, everyone called me Taz. My nickname was Taz, yes, for the Taz and He said, Hey Taz, so you think you're a hundred meters sprinter, we're gonna put you in and he fudge the time. And so it was so humiliating because I was in a a heat that was so much faster than me. And so you know, I'm 19, I'm so embarrassed, I just I stopped running track.
Miriam LawrenceThis is his way of trying to tea uh punish you for running a marathon. Oh wow, that's just awful.
SPEAKER_00And so I was really embarrassed by that, and so then I just I I I would run on my own, I would lift weights on my own, but I didn't know what I was doing, and I still ran on my own. And then when I was in my early 40s, I have a brother and he's like, Oh, you ought to do CrossFit. And I tried it, but I really like you know the deadlifting. Um I remember like the first time we were trying to like I learned it in a gym and have never deadlifted before, and it was the first time, and I got up to 243, and they're like, Oh my god, you should do this, you know, you should do this. And my brother really encouraged me, but I didn't know like you gotta squat, like you know, I'm thinking, oh, I I can squat really good, but I didn't really know I can quarter squat, great. Yeah. And the crazy thing was at that time, not to, you know, be like a gym bro, and there's no way I'll ever see these numbers again just because of joint issues. Like I could bench 150 pounds. So I was like naturally strong. So it was 44 turning 45. That was my first power lifting meet I did with his encouragement, and then I just kept going. I kept going. So I'm 56 and I started at, yeah, I'll just say 45. Was that like a math like 11 years? Something like that.
Miriam LawrenceYeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I've been at it for a hot minute.
Miriam LawrenceSo you were strength training in college and as a young adult. Did you keep lifting weights and doing strength training all the way through that transitional time into your 30s and into your early 40s, or did you kind of stop lifting?
SPEAKER_00I always did it, but it was more bodybuilding. And honestly, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. It would always be like, you know, on a Smith machine. It wasn't the power lifting movements. Right. It was when I was in my early 40s, I was taught it, and I just I I really liked it. I was like, ooh, this is the I like this. And uh and you know, like you're a newbie, and I already had some like muscle memory and some some broad strength, so I like got strong fast, ish. I say ish.
Miriam LawrenceWell, it sounds like you started strong to begin with, too. So, you know, that which is it's awesome to make that kind of progress at the beginning. Who taught you?
SPEAKER_00So I I went to like this gym that's now defunct, and I was one of the older people that went, but it was a strength conditioning place for like baseball players, for basketball players, football players, and so I I went to it and I was naturally strong, you know, for for my age and for the women there, you know, and I was so I took to it and it had a lot of fun, and then I just kept doing it on my own, and of course, not knowing what I was doing until I got a coach, you know. Yeah.
Miriam LawrenceWell we'll talk about that because you have a clearly a I think a really special relationship with your coach. Yes.
SPEAKER_00I have you know weights in my house too. So I do a lot of training in my house and then also in this office.
Miriam LawrenceFrom what I can see, you you'll deadlift anywhere.
SPEAKER_00I mean and at the station where I work, yeah.
Miriam LawrenceYou must have like five bars spread out all over the place. I love uh I love the videos of you where you're like, I didn't have time to, you know, get into my gym clothes, so I'm in my jeans. Bell bottom jeans and pulling it, and you're just pulling, oh it's casual, 250, three, you know.
unknownI'm like, no.
Miriam LawrenceUm so tell me how you uh how you met Riley. So Riley Griggs, right, is your coach. Yes, yes. So so how long have you been working with her and how did you meet her in the first place?
SPEAKER_00So I had the coach before, and then he moved, and that was face-to-face. And I'll actually always be really appreciative of him and his wife, because they opened up a gym in Little Rock, Arkansas. There was a gym called BMF or bad motherfuckers up in Cabot, which is like a 40-minute drive for me. And it was during the pandemic. So I was very thankful for him because I could drive up there and you know, trying to do this job during COVID. It just was like a really nice way to decompress, you know, going up there. But then they moved and I had a powerlifting friend that recommended another coach, and he he had some big ticket names. And because I'm not like you know, top five, he just he he became really negative about my lifting and just like had no time. And and really, I all I just need is just just a little feedback, you know, on my video, you know.
Miriam LawrenceIf you're listening to this and you have a coach doing that shit to you, dump them. Like, yes, dump them. I promise you there are people listening to this that are dealing with a coach that's not treating them the way they ought to be treated and get they're gaslit about it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, exactly. Leave, leave. And then so far, and it was hard because he would just tear apart my form. I'm like, I get it, but could you help me? I I just I I wasn't open powerlifting top ten. And you know, that's what some of his people were. At first, he was really excited to work with me because of you know the deadlifting thing, because I guess he it was right after I did that 320. And it was also I was 49, I weighted 128. I look like an effing-praying mantis because at the time I was five foot seven, I was all limbs. It's like it's like, oh, what's this? It's a surprise to see someone like you pull that weight. So fast. And I think, you know, he just got bored with me. And then, you know, or if I needed clarification, or just couldn't get something, because again, you know, at the time, you're looking at me at about 45 50, you know, it's it it does it just doesn't mu click as fast. You know, and us master lifters, we're gonna keep at it. We don't quit, we roll up and get going, but uh we just don't sometimes pick up things as quick. I ended up breaking up with my coach, and it was so funny. I had to talk to a coworker, and my co-worker's like, yeah, Tara, this is bullshit, leave. So I didn't have anyone for a bit, and then somebody told me about Riley, and I reached out and um I've been with Riley ever since. I'm gonna ride or die. Because she has stuck with me through a lot. Like our last prep, I mean, I had I had to do half of it in Boston because my dad went into kidney and heart failures, and so you know, you you're working up to your big lift, and I just I mean, I couldn't, he's fine now, he's recovering, you know, it's a long road. But I'm literally sitting with a doctor trying to talk to him about end of life, and my father doesn't want to hear it. And then I I gotta go try and lift, and it wasn't like, oh, suck it up, you know. She's just super supportive, she meets you where you're at, and also I have also medical issues and joint issues, and she hung with me, never shame me, like knew I'm fucking trying, you know. And she's like that with everyone, it's not just me, she's just like that with everyone. And I know you have a great relationship with your coach, and that's just very special to have, especially I think at our age, where you know, we we have different struggles than younger people.
Miriam LawrenceWell, what's amazing is when your coach is younger and it they they get it, you know. Yeah, yeah. Um, they just like you said, they meet you where you are, and it's not about my age or you know, my I just can share what's going on with me, and that's what we're dealing with. And it makes me so mad that you were treated the way that you were. I know how common that is, that's why I'm sort of like you know, getting on a soapbox for a second about because please do you feel as the athlete in that situation like it's your fault because they're this is the coach, right? And this is the person who's supposed to know, and and you must be doing something wrong, or you're not communicating well enough, or you shouldn't be asking these questions, or you know, you should just be listening to what they say, or whatever. And it's not about them, but that's the bottom line, like with Riley clearly, and with Joe, my coach, it's not about them, it's about us. And that's the way it should be. If you're a coach, it's about your athlete, and your relationship is with the athlete is to help the athlete meet their goals. That's what they're paying you for. They're not paying you so your ego can be stroked by the fact that like if that's what you're in it for, then don't work with ordinary people, you know. Anyway, I I'm so glad that you have a coach that you're so happy with. And I we'll talk about all the issues that you've had because I you've just been through it. You have physically been through it on top of all the stuff that you're dealing with with your work, and she's like clearly stuck with you and just supported, supported, supported.
SPEAKER_00Never got bored, never been like, oh god, fuck another issue. Just super supportive, you know, meets me where I'm at, and just also, you know, um, I know it's not just me. Like, I I love that she meets everyone like it's you don't have to be an elite athlete. Right. You know, she's gonna work with you.
Miriam LawrenceYeah. Well, it tells you that if they if someone is an elite athlete and you have a coach that treats you the way yours did, then they're probably actually treating even their best athletes not so great in in certain ways. They're they're not serving any athlete well if that's their attitude. I think that's just my point.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because two of his lifters who were at one time like, you know, right up there, they left. Yeah. Like, hmm.
Miriam LawrenceWell, it's like the coach that you had back when you were running track. I mean, that what a horrible thing to do to a 19-year-old, you know, to kind of kill your spirit like that and and humiliate someone. I mean, humiliation is the worst thing you can do, I think, as a leader.
SPEAKER_00I agree that really was very humiliating. He did that to humiliate me. Yeah. Also, I was a week after running in the Boston Marathon. My dad still laughs about it. He and his friend had to carry me upstairs into my dorm. So I couldn't walk.
Miriam LawrenceYou know, 19-year-olds don't always make the best choices. Right. Right?
SPEAKER_02Right.
Miriam LawrenceSo, you know, have you sit out, or you know, there's ways to sort of teach you a lesson about it that would be helpful to you and help you grow as an athlete, right? And same with our coaches. I'm pretty good. I suspect you are pretty good also about following the program. I don't go off program, I don't YOLO lift, I try to, you know, follow my RPE. Like, you know, I'm a pretty good athlete in those, in that sense. But if I were to do something wrong, I think I would be gently, you know, talk.
SPEAKER_00Yes, because I haven't, and Riley will attest. I don't uh I I will sometimes like, you know, kind of try to test.
Miriam LawrenceTell me more about that. What do you try to test? What do you mean?
SPEAKER_00Well, like um if I really feel like I can do it, and I guess it's like a fear, like especially when it comes to bench, she might want to see. I just wanted this particular weight, and I don't want these fuckers to be crisp. And I'm like, ew, but what if it's not crisp, but I can just do the weight, you know. I'll sometimes do that. And so she'll um make a little note like you don't have to push it, you know, don't push it. And so I I also realized, and she says it, and I'm in this for the lawn haul. Like in my job as a as an EMT, I see way too much immobility, and I we we have to keep moving, Miriam. We have to, we have to keep moving. And um, if I do something stupid and I can't move anymore, I have to take three months off or two months off because I ego lift. Who am I helping? What was that for? Maybe I might get like 20 likes on Instagram. That was dumb.
Miriam LawrenceNo, totally, and I mean I've some of the worst injuries I've had it from training have been because I was an idiot, you know, and even something like an accessory. I mean, I I hurt my shoulder pretty badly a couple years ago doing up like a pull down. And I I knew I shouldn't go up. I should have stayed at the weight I was at, and I was like, I can do a little bit more, and the little bit more is what did it to me. So yeah, and and then yeah, you're like, why did we do that? Just you know, as masters lifters, I mean everyone needs to be cognizant of this. Young people should as well, because young people hurt themselves doing stupid shit also. But I feel I think we are much more aware, sort of, of yes, the I don't want to say fragility exactly, but I if I get any kind of a tweak, I'm like, is this gonna be a real thing or is this just a little tweak? You know?
SPEAKER_00No, that's facts. That's facts right there. Yeah, so it's like no, I I definitely have learned. Hard way, don't go crazy because I was one and kind of that person, and not crazy, but just like I feel it. Let's go up a little bit and wait because next week will be a D load. Or this felt really easy. Let me bump up. But there's also realized there's a reason in Tara. She's trying to, you know, do progressive ovala, like let her do her magic. Because when you when you don't listen, you you you fuck up.
Miriam LawrenceNo, it's it's it's hard. And you know, and the reason you're a great competitor is because you want it, you want those numbers, you want to push yourself, you want to be stronger, and so it's a hard balance to strike between that side of our personality and holding back and and just doing what the coach says. Yeah. But speaking of injuries, like you I'm so impressed by the fact that you just persevere. I know you've had issues with your knee, you've had knee surgery, you've got chronic problems with your shoulder.
SPEAKER_00It's bone on bone, and I refuse to get shoulder replacement.
Miriam LawrenceYeah. So you you could be a deadlift-only specialist. I mean, we do have deadlift only in powerlifting, but you choose to continue going full power. So why have you made that choice? What is that like for you? Because you are dealing with quite a bit of either pain or frustration or both on squat and and bench, but you just persevere. So talk to me about that.
SPEAKER_00And that's so this was where I think, you know, the the how I I took, you know, like early failure and help because like when I first started, there wasn't, you know, that more and more women are doing it, and I and that is very exciting because that's exciting to me seeing, you know, women in their 60s and 70s lift because I'm like, oh my god, thank God, well, we all won't be in a nursing home. Like this makes me excited. At first, you know, I was kind of like, mm, oh, hmm, hmm. They're lift more than me. And then I was like, Tara, stop. You know, you had your time, yeah, your little world records. Now it's over with. Just keep going. Just keep going. And then the other thing, my sister passing, I'm like, pardon me, who the fuck am I to be all salty about? You got a sister 20 years younger than you that would have loved to lived another year, and you're pissed off because, oh, you know, you didn't get this deadlift, or oh no, you can't do this. So I learned I had to go close grip for my shoulders because um there's a start and effect in my my activities of daily lifting. It sounds silly, but I was like, I can never get arrested because I can't take my sh my arm and pin it back, you know. Um and I if I'm viewed front, you can see my arms look different when I squat because I can't bring the shoulder in. Or when I work on the ambulance, I couldn't reach with my right arm. So I had to work really hard at it, and I knew as much as it sucks, and I'm not going to get the numbers I used to keep benching because I could at least do it light. And I do a close grip. And then it was the same with squat. It wasn't a traumatic injury, it was years and years of running. And I always had knee pain, but I would thug it out, and then what happened is my knee would catch where I would be walking and I would kind of crumble because my knee would give out. I'm gonna start to get scared because sometimes at my job I got to carry like a big backpack with all the equipment in there, and I'm like, what if this happens when I'm walking with that or with a patient? So I went and got an MRI, and basically, like a chip of my bone from my femur went in, and I had a torn meniscus. And he said, You're pretty much already bone on bone, and this was at the age of 48. He says it looks like somebody that's 80. And so it's just I'm one of those people, and then after my thyroid issue, God, I sound like a hot mess. It just really accelerated joint deterioration. But that means I gotta keep moving. Even if it sucks, even if it's painful, I've got to keep moving. I'd see specialists and they're like, Oh yeah, see why you're in a lot of pain, you're gonna be on a pain pump. I'm like, fuck that shit. I'm gonna marinate and opioids. I don't think so. You know, by doing physical therapy daily on it, and I think from power lifting just lighter and the accessories, it sure helps with mobility, and I think it has helped with pain.
Miriam LawrenceSo basically, if I'm hearing correctly, you're essentially continuing to compete in the full power and do all the lifts, mostly because you find there's value just in training for those other lifts, not because okay. Well, that's I mean that's amazing and and really I think inspiring for people to hear.
SPEAKER_00Um because I had to make peace with you're not gonna win, but you know what I can mess people up with? When they look at me and be like, and this sounds horrible, this is a competitor of me, this is the mindset, where it's like, oh, this little cream puff, oh that's so nice to meet you, Tara. Oh, you're so much fun, oh you're so lovely. But then when they see my deadlift, like you're a ringer. I don't win. At least, you know what? I made somebody nervous, and I like that.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, oh yeah, yeah. I don't want to scare people.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But but really what happened is knowing as I've got as I've gotten older in the aging process, like, hey, Tara, you can still move. You know, number one, you can still move. And also each competition I do, Miriam. I don't know if you go through something like, oh my god, why do I do this to myself? I'm never doing it again.
Miriam LawrenceThen it was questioning the life choices when you're three weeks out. Does anybody not question their life choices when they're three weeks out?
SPEAKER_00I'm like, why the hell am I doing this shit to myself? Oh my god, this will be the last one. But then I go, I have a great time, meet meet amazing people, and I do it again.
Miriam LawrenceDo it all over again.
SPEAKER_00Because then I find I find value in it. Like I've uh like I'm like, okay, like I can now close grip, is this it? I was like, okay, I could do a hundred pounds, I could do this much, I could do that much. And then the same with the squat. It was like I just wanted to, and I know this is not a great number for a lot of people, for me, I was just like, I just want to be able to squat 200 again, you know. And so, because when after the knee surgery, you know, the doctor sat me down. It was so rude, Miriam. He said, Yeah, you'll be active and back to everything you want to do. You just really shouldn't run or squat anymore. I'm like, then why the fuck did I do this?
Miriam LawrenceBut also get back to all the things I care about doing.
SPEAKER_00Those are the only things I care about doing. That was so rude. So rude. But I learned, you know, I learned what, you know, I I just slowly just kept going. And it and and again, that's what helps me. I see it has value over my other job. Because in the powerlifting world, I might be a cream puff, but compared to my co-workers, and not saying that I'm stronger than them, but at my age, they're like, you're pretty strong, you know, like they, you know, you're strong.
Miriam LawrenceYou're strong, period. You know, if you compare yourself to the general population, right, that's the hard part is who are you comparing yourself to?
SPEAKER_00Probably, you know, as I said, uh something that's unattainable. You know, we probably all do that. So I have to, you know, I don't want to say lower my expectations, but just be realistic.
Miriam LawrenceAnd you're I mean, you're really, I'm sure, hyper-aware of this whole idea of movement as medicine, both in terms of mental health and physical health, right? You I mean, I know you're aware of you've talked about the research into lifting for anxiety, for depression. So there's that side of it, and then there's the physical side of it. Um, have you applied your knowledge of lifting and training in your work? How do you do that?
SPEAKER_00So a couple of years ago, I went to the director. I go, I think it would be really cool if we had deadlift seminars. Just nice and easy, nothing too, you know, nothing intimidating. Because I have bumper plates. I even got the chancellor. We got the chancellor to deadlift. It pretty much, just about everyone that's an adult can do 90 pounds. Just about that. I've seen. And so we started and it kind of really took off. And I'll have a lot of students, when are you gonna do it again? We call it deadlift to uplift, and we've been to the fine arts, we've been to nursing school, and then for fall festival, and then we had a suit campus suicide prevention walk. We just set it up in a corner that and we go at it. And then, like you're saying, I I talk to the students a lot about movement, and I'm like, look, it's not gonna cure it, but it will help it. And I think when they see me do it, and knowing that I am older than a lot of their moms, you know, and I'm doing it, it means something, and and it's never, you know, I'm not like trying to max out or show off. I'm just showing you at a lightweight, you can do this. Some students will come in and we set time. I'm like, hey, you want a deadlift? Let's go. Because in my office that you see, like right next to me, is my barbell and the bumper plates. And then we can step outside where you see in the videos, like that's where we deadlift. And we also were we're we received a grant, it's it's like an Arkansas Department of Health grant where we are trying to make people move as a substitute for substance abuse.
Miriam LawrenceSo, like I feel like people our age, you know, we're not gonna be the best lifters in the world. Yeah, but we can change lives. I mean, I when I go to meets, I have had young people, you know, k people my kids' age just be like, You're the most inspiring person here for me, because I can see that this is something that, you know, I'm gonna tell my mom about you, I'm gonna tell my grandma about you. I want to be you when I'm almost 60, you know. Yes. Or I meet people at conferences, you know, and I talk about what I'm doing. There's always at least a few people that are like, especially men, interestingly. Women too, though, but men will be like, they they didn't think they could be doing this anymore. Like they maybe they were doing it when they were young, but they thought it was behind them. And they're like, wait a minute, maybe I could be doing this again. You know, and your work as a nurse, I'm sure, in your professional life, right? You're spreading this gospel.
SPEAKER_00And they see it like because we're in our 50s at work. First, it's like, What's this cream puff doing here? You know, what's this nurse doing here? What does she think she is? And you know, you gotta go through being a rookie and all that. But like I can literally pull my own weight, you know. There was a poor gentleman who fell into a fire, and this was during the winter, and he was unhoused, and we had to pull him up like a little embankment, so I could use my leg and my deadlift strength. I was able to just pull him out fast, and they're like, Where she came from, you know, because we're not fucking around, we gotta get him in the hospital. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, and that's where I see my strength come in. You and I were not big women, we're not big, you know, empowering big. I mean, um, I'm not petite, but I'm not imposing. So it's like, okay, you you have some strength, and that comes in handy.
Miriam LawrenceYeah. Well, I was gonna ask, did that play a role? When first of all, what inspired you or made you crazy enough to think to yourself, maybe 53, I'm gonna go become an EMT? Yeah, and did your physical strength play a role in you wanting to do that or in believing that you could do that? Why did you do it? What about it called to you, and how how has lifting been a factor?
SPEAKER_00So I I was always scared to do it, like, oh, I don't have the chops to do it. I was starting to kind of feel burned out. I knew I wouldn't leave here, but I wanted to do medicine in a different way. We have other nurse practitioners at health services, love them so much. Kirsten Chanel, love you guys. They're over at health services. I'm the only one in counseling services, so kind of falls on me. The psychiatry part, the mental health part. If there's a bad outcome, it falls on me. Not that as an EMT, it doesn't fall on me, but I have no problem having a paramedic be in charge of the scene that's like 30 years younger than me, you know, because I respect that. But also felt like I could give something because I have a very strong mental health background, and our number one cause, even in a major city where we see a lot of shootings, is mental health. So, and you you you know, we we're older, I know how to talk to people. Like I I don't get sketched out talking to a seven-year-old, I don't get sketched out talking to an 87-year-old. Like I know how to talk to people. And I did a uh a meet in 2024 July in with deadlifts. I was able to like finally hit like a 300 again. I'm like, I can do this. And then I was like, if I can get in front of a bunch of people in my 50s and wear a singlet, I could at least do an EMT class. I I took a class at night, I was the oldest person, and then it was like, just get me through two weeks, just get it through two months, just get make it six months, just make it a year. I'm like, well, let's see what happens, let's keep going.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, well, I mean, you're killing it, obviously. And thank you. Yeah, it it's it's like I said, very badass. It's badass work too.
SPEAKER_00So just try not to kill anyone in the process.
Miriam LawrenceJust don't pick them up and drop them.
SPEAKER_00Right, right.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00Don't add to the body count. I do like it though. I like it, I like the job. If you're with a great coworker, being in an ambulance for 12 hours with somebody, you're with a great co-worker. You feel like you're you're taking on the world and doing things. And even bad calls, if you're with a good coworker, it's kind of a beautiful thing, and like my humor and everything, I feel a vibe better with like the first responder community than I do with like people in higher learning and you know, some of the elite crap, you know.
Miriam LawrenceYeah. You've got that sardonic humor. Yes. Lack humor. Obviously, the physical strength piece of it has been very valuable, pulling somebody up out of a fire, up an embankment, etc. Um, has training and powerlifting psychologically, emotionally uh affected your ability to deal with the trauma, to do the work that is so difficult as an EMT or first respond.
SPEAKER_00I think it's like when you get ready to do a heavy lift, you gear yourself up and we get the jitters before meet or before heavy lift. Like, am I gonna get it? I'm gonna get it. Still, I still get the jitters before every shift. You know, I still will sometimes have anxiety dreams, like what if, what ifs. And so I think both of them play well with each other because you learn to manage. Like, I know I'm gonna be anxious, but I learn to manage it, and that's both ways. And also, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Like, we need some of that anxiety because it helps tap into a little bit of flight or fight. We don't want to be like super calm and chilled before you're gonna do a heavy lift. You know, you want to like not be in a panic state where you can't at least think through your lifts, but not so panicky that I'm not able to function doing the job. So I think there's a a lot of overlap. I was very scared to drive an ambulance because in my early 20s I was in a near-fatal car wreck. I was a passenger. Oh wow. And I was behind the driver. She lost control of the car and she hit a motorcyclist. And where I was, I felt the impact of them and I saw them get dragged. It I didn't think about it for years, Miriam. I didn't think about it, I didn't think it affected me. And then my second day when we were, you know, we were rookies, they would just tell you horror story after horror story after horror story of all the wrecks that happened in ambulances. And I felt myself get really panicked, like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh shit. And then I remember like texting my husband, I'm I'm coming home, I can't do this. And then I'm like, wait a minute, take a deep breath. Let's just get through the day. And that's the way someone sometimes like when I get very nervous before me, some like, I don't want to go, I don't want to go, fuck this, I don't want to go. And I'm like, mm-mm, take a deep breath. You already paid. What's the worst gonna happen? You're gonna be okay. And then I think what's the worst gonna happen? You're not driving the ambulance, you're not gonna run over somebody.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, now this is beneficial to you because now you have something to compare it to that actually does have consequences.
SPEAKER_00And then, you know, I'm like, you can do this, Tara. You can do this, because what's the worst is gonna happen is it doesn't move, and you're gonna be fine if it doesn't move. So I think both of them help me, and then I guess the power lifting it gives me confidence because a woman in their 50s who you know become an EMT, that doesn't happen, but you know, it it did with me. And maybe somebody else is hearing it going, I can do this, you know, or be a nurse or just whatever you're scared to try.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, well, that's one of the the things that I feel is one of the greatest benefits of women, especially older women lifting, but younger women also. You know, we don't we can't take our physical strength for granted. I think guys take physical strength much more for granted. Um and that gives them confidence that they don't even know that they have, but they do, and we don't have it. And when we get stronger, it just changes how you live in your body, I find. I don't know if you feel that way. It changes how I move through the world, it changes how I walk, it changes like literally, like I'm I'm yeah, I'm just more confident, and I feel like I can take on the world and I can do things. I can I can do hard things, right? And I know I one another way you and I relate is you're you you you talk about the stoics, you talk about amarfati, and you talk about Numementamori, and I'm into that stuff also. And we can do hard things, you know.
SPEAKER_00That's it right there. Like that's another thing I'll repeat to myself, like with the mems, the mems is the ambulance service. I say you could do hard things, like when I'm driving up, you can do hard things, and they cross over each other in that way. And like you're saying is perfect, like we'll go into, I mean, we'll go into all types of scenes. And usually I as I said, I'm not the lead, I'm I'm an EMT, a medic runs the call, but I don't come in meek, you know. I come in, even though I might be like, oh my god, what the hell am I getting into my holy shit? I don't know what's going on. But the confidence you're saying from powerlifting and going into rooms, you know. Because I view myself like I'm nice and I'm not intimidating. I'm like, you know, a little soft, mushy bear, or a little mushy inside. So people like, you're intimidating. I'm like, how? How am I intimidating? Like I I'm really sensitive and I'm mushy, you know.
Miriam LawrenceI get I get why people say that though, because you look you look badass. Like you just you so much. You look tough. And well, you know, I think we don't we don't know that about you. We just look at you and you're like, you know, pulling this heavy weight, and you're you're kind of tall, and you're you know, you just you look tough, you know. You are tough. You are tough because I mean we haven't even talked about the you know the thyroid storm and the thyroid problems, right? You have been through it with your health, yeah. Um and like almost died with this, right?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't want to be dramatic. I I didn't know.
Miriam LawrenceYou could have died if you hadn't treated it, right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It it it it's it it can it could have been, yeah, yeah, definitely. It got treated long before, but when at like probably when the attending physician came in and said, I'll pray for you, you're really sick. I'm like, Do I need to tell my kids?
unknownYou know?
Miriam LawrenceYeah, yeah. So so tell us really quickly what exactly is a thyroid storm. Yeah, sure. When did this happen and how has it affected you since?
SPEAKER_00So a lot of people think of hypothyroidism. They're like, oh my god, you know, I'm tired, I'm fatigued, and a lot of people are on medication for hypo. Now, hyper is actually more common. Um it could be something called Graves disease, but also you can get hypothyroidism from, and this is what happened to me, like sleep deprivation, extreme stress in surgery. And that was what was happening because less than a month before I had a student die by suicide. And that really did a number on me. And then how how did I respond? I just started working more for MEMS. I start working here, and just so I was in a sleep deprivation, and I again I don't have any history of thyroid issues, though my mother has Graves disease, so that's a type of hyperthyroidism. And how it presented at first, and when I look back, and this is like a warning sign, I was so irritable. Like I'm usually kind of irrit irritable to begin with, but I mask. But it was like a situation that's a four, I'm like responding internally like it's a 10. And then my heart rate and my blood pressure just kept going up. Like it, you know, it would be normal. And then then like it'd be 150 over 100, and then it get up to like 180 over 100. I just thought, oh, you're stressed. And then I thought, oh, it's you know, even though I'm on HRT too, maybe my hormones are off. But then I started to run high fevers at night. It um I would wake up drenched, like like I jumped into a pool, and I would have soaked through the sheath. My fever would go up to about 104, 105, and I would take, you know, Tylenol, and it would maybe bring it down to 101, 102. And I was having palpitations. My doctor thought I probably had a mosquito or a tick-borne illness. So I I live in Arkansas. We don't have Zika virus, but you know, they ran Zika on me, they ran everything, and then they're like, Well, we think you have some type of infection. Do you really need to go to the ER? And my doctor even called me and goes, You need to go into an ER. And I was like, Oh, I don't want to go in an ER. You know, like we even first were so like, God, I don't want to go.
Miriam LawrenceI've worked in those, I don't want to be there.
SPEAKER_00The one thing they never checked was my thyroid panel. And then my girls over at health services go, but it's weird, they never checked my thyroid. So I came in and they checked my thyroid, and they called me and go, You gotta go into the ER. So I went into the ER and showed them, I said, this was done, you know, where I work. And so then they were like, Yeah, you're going into what's called an impending thyroid storm, and that could be fatal because it's like your blood pressure rises so high in your heart. I lost so much weight, and it's not like cutting weight, so I didn't look ripped, I looked skinny fat because it just your your metabol it's like a furnace and it burned through most of my muscles. How long was the process of of this of this dysfunction? I didn't realize what was going on almost a month, but then when I got really sick and it got dicey within a week. And so the I was hospitalized, discharged, and then it got sick again because the medication it was too low, and then I had a function again like that when I was taken off of everything. You you go from hyper to normal and great, and then to hypo. But on that medication, I felt like I couldn't keep anything in my head to learn anything new, and I was very worried about the ambulance. I still lifted, but it was very Light. And it was so frustrating because you know you just lose so much strength. And then Riley's like, you gotta eat, you gotta eat, you go, man, I'm trying. I'm like losing weight and you know this isn't healthy. You know? Yeah. And you look different too. You have no muscle. Yeah.
Miriam LawrenceLike you said, you're just burning your metabolism's just on fire. Um so so it sounds like what was basically was an acute issue turned into a chronic.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and then endocrine is like, uh, we're rolling out cancer because the nodules were suspicious. And then I can't find anything. I was like, all right, later. But my endocrinologist is like, I don't want to put you on anything because I want to see if your thyroid returns back to normal. And then that's like brain fog and like trouble concentrating. Well, that was just a whole process functioning like that. If I get really tired or it's later on in the day and I've not had an energy drink, I um I have trouble with words. I will feel like really tongue-tied, but more importantly, I'll start slurring my words, or I am not making sense, like an aphasia thing where I know exactly what I'm trying to say, but the words won't come out. And I'm itchy a lot. My skin is always itchy, and my nails are just really brittle. But I feel very, very lucky because, like, seriously, as I said, um, people die from thyroid storm.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, and something you're getting healthier slowly, right?
SPEAKER_00It's it's it's slowly working itself out. Yeah, it was like three months of feeling pretty damn good. I did get myself almost into trouble where I try to run in the heat.
unknownThat was dumb.
SPEAKER_00And I felt my heart like do where it just beat so fast, and then I was getting really faint, like it was gonna pass out. And then I was like, okay, this is really dumb. Shit, that'll be really embarrassing if somebody to work with came and had to cut off your shirt and do CPR.
Miriam LawrenceThis is what it wasn't a fear of death, it was a fear of looking like an idiot in front of your colleagues, right?
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna be mortified. And then um, I think the big thing I talk about the joints, you know, I really felt it age my joints by about 10 to 15 years, where already I had issues. And I I just was like, I gotta stop going to doctors. Each time I go, they find something new, you know. So you just gotta keep moving.
Miriam LawrenceWell, as I was gonna say, were you able to lift at all during the sort of recovery period?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just really light. Yeah, and it was really frustrating because I had to learn stop comparing yourself. Because I was in prep for a meet when I went into thyroid storm, and I was so mad because it's like, oh my god, not only can I not do my openers, I can't even do warmups. Like I remember, you know, just for context, like I was hoping in this meet before I got sick that I would maybe pull 320. I couldn't even deadlift 200.
Miriam LawrenceSo did you did you go ahead with the meat or did you drop out?
SPEAKER_00No, I dropped out. And then like I was doing a deadlift only in June. And literally in June was when I was in the hospital. This was 2025. And then in July I did um bad bitches only, and I knew I was going in. Then each week I got a little stronger. I got a little like you know, the first week I couldn't lift 200, then I I I could do 200, it was heavy as fuck. I couldn't really do 225, and then three weeks before I tried 250 and I'm like it wouldn't budge. But then at the meet, and this is the first and last time, like I was worried I wouldn't make weight as in I was too light, you know, because like I for context, I'm about 5'6-ish. Um, and I will, you know, compete at 132, but walked around at 135. Like I dropped to 125. Wow. From from 135. And then I was like, oh my god. I I had like a smoothie, chips, salsa, and chicken fajitas before weigh-in. And I got up to 132. I know everyone hates me for that, but I promise you you don't want the smoke. No, I I mean, no. I don't think it was pure adrenaline that I was able to lift from 250 two weeks before to 290, you know. I I I felt good, my family was there, but oh, that was that was a big struggle. I'm just I'm very lucky and very thankful because it was I'm never sick, you know. And then to be that sick, and even my husband's like, I didn't realize how sick you were because you kept getting up and going to work till I couldn't. I mean, I was fighting about going to the ER.
Miriam LawrenceYou're a stubborn bitch. I mean I don't even know you that well, but it that's very clear. And for for good and ill, like the ever my husband always says people's greatest strength is also their greatest weakness, which I've found to be like the most profound thing I think I've ever heard. And I've never seen it not be true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. No, it's true because like Tara, it's a hundred degrees and you try to run, you just got out of the hospital. What the fuck's wrong with you?
Miriam LawrenceWell, that's that's the same impulse as what you know we were talking about earlier, that we go too hard. You know, you know we should hold back, but we're like, I could just do a little bit more and then we get hurt, right? Yeah. Well, on that note, um, I know you've been told more than once by medical professionals that you can't. You shouldn't, you won't, you won't ever be able to squat below parallel, you shouldn't squat at all. You'll I mean, all the things, right? You're a medical professional. Um, so how did you deal with that? And and how did you manage to kind of forge ahead anyway? Obviously, you're not gonna tell people, oh, don't listen to the doctor, but right, no, absolutely, because there's spectrum.
SPEAKER_00I mean, there's some people who've never moved before, you know, just like get up and go to work and come home and just move to go to the bathroom and move to to their sedentary job. You don't start balls to the walls, you start slow. And so I also knew that like what they were saying, they were also saying it in a way, you know, because liability to protect themselves, you know, in that way. But also my body probably even on gear, I can't ever see myself squatting over 300 pounds. You know, I it it just won't happen. I just won't be able to lift that much because my my body can't handle that much weight. But I think you start slow and you listen to your body, and um I already had muscle memory from years of doing it before, you know, so that helped. So I think it's not that you don't want to listen to them because it's also the same like what I tell the students here, because I'm prescribing meds, you know. I'm like, let's have this conversation. You have a right to stop the meds at any point, but you know, hear me out about the risk and benefits. See, everything is a risk and benefit. It shouldn't be, it should, should, should. It's a it's weighing out risks and benefits. And and to me, the benefit of moving was much more profound than the risk. So I look at it as a risk benefit.
Miriam LawrenceWell, I think part of the problem is the medical community largely doesn't understand still strength training. Yeah the benefits of it, the relative risks of it, like they they are still living in 30 years ago in terms of the knowledge base. Yes, and especially for older people and older women, and so older women hear it all the time, you know, that they're gonna hurt themselves. And so I think it's very hard for people to know what to do when their doctor's telling them, you know, you shouldn't do that, it's dangerous. And then you know, the fitness community is like, no, it's the most important thing for you to do. You need to do it. What what do you do? Right. So, you know, what would you tell a woman our age who is hearing that message? I'm not talking about someone who's like got cardiac issues or high blood pressure or just had surgery. I'm just talking about your average, you know, person.
SPEAKER_00Well, this is where we could talk about like what you mentioned before, Miriam, about studies. And I even have to say this because uh I am not a psychiatrist, and I'll see students that have been to a psychiatrist, and I'm like, well, I'm respect their scope and their their opinion and all that. But here's I I I say this a lot. Here's another perspective, you know. It's another perspective. There's studies that support this, and the big thing we all can agree on is our risk of osteoporosis, and and that what do we need to do to prevent osteoporosis is weight-bearing exercise, whatever that looks like. Because I'm sure your doctor would much rather you move some type of weight safely than be on medication for osteoporosis. Or break your hip and go in the hospital and die.
Miriam LawrenceYes.
SPEAKER_00Yes, even more. Yeah, even more. So absolutely, and I think slowly doctors are getting on board, but I think they're not on board with like people older than us, and they need to be because again, we're not at all saying that's why I loved the gentleman that you had that trains, you know, um older older adults, because that is that was so empowering empowering to me to see. Because I I mean every weekend I'm doing a transfer, at least one or two transfers of people that are within 10 to 15 years of us that are are bad written or in nursing homes. You know, that's that's scary to me.
Miriam LawrenceSo, what's your message if someone's listening to this who is uh maybe contemplating getting started with strength training, but hasn't taken the lead? I mean, you you have a unique perspective as somebody who in fact is working in EMS and and first response.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
Miriam LawrenceWhat would you say to somebody if they're sitting here in front of you?
SPEAKER_00I would say it is imperative for you to move, whatever that looks like. And we start slogan, we're not asking, and I always I tell the students I'm not asking you to do a power uplifting me to run a marathon, but you got to move. And it will help physical health, mental health. Like we know you as the young can say, touch grass, but gotta go outside for 10 minutes. You know, gotta walk like that. We know getting outside and walking for at least 10 minutes does wonders. And then the strength training part, it's like if you're not ready to even go to a gym, like modified push-ups against a wall, like body squats, you can start low when you're watching TV. I mean, they even have this in, you know, like for older adults, you know, they'll have classes of this that and that if you like need research, I'd be more than happy to point out the research. This isn't terror ideology, this is stuff that's been tested. You know, I would also meet the person where they're at, you know, because we're all at different parts in my life our life where we're ready for change or not. You know, because a big chunk of what I see is students that um bed rot and smoke cannabis and don't want to move. I see a lot of and this is not to body shame, a lot of obesity and obesity due to lifestyle. And that everyone that's obese is a lifestyle thing. Realize there's medical issues, but if you're not moving, you know, that's like really that that's you gotta move in some capacity.
Miriam LawrenceOur whole culture at this point is counter-movement, if you think about it. Everything is is online, it's desk jobs, it's computers, you know. Kids are gaming, their physical uh classes are getting cut, their recess times are getting cut, then the pandemic happened, they were all locked in their houses for a year and then in in their dorms. If you're like an athletically minded team sport person, then you'll you'll move. But if you're not, I think it's much harder.
SPEAKER_00So I I don't know if that that explained it that I I basically I meet them where they're at and I encourage some type of movement. Yeah.
Miriam LawrenceSo yeah, when you look ahead in terms of what's coming for you, what are your goals right now, whether it's in your life or on the platform, what are you up to next in powerlifting?
SPEAKER_00I would love to grow the deadlift to uplift, and I would love to get a power lifting club on campus. I would love that. Um, my personal goals is I would like to break my PR. I would like to break 320. And it we really thought it was gonna do it, and that would have been so amazing in March. I really thought like I was thinking, well, let me just let me just do that and maybe go for a fourth. I would like to, and I told my son this because he thought it would be really badass, if I could squat 225 again, have sorry, 245 plates on each side.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I would like to get back, you know, to benching. My best in a competition is 130. I don't think I'll see it, but I'd like to get back to 120. I'm getting close. I actually did it 122 with no pause. So I'd like to do that. Um, I'm getting stronger in different ways, Miriam, where I could do more reps, like today, my program. I've never done I did 243 for six. So uh in my clothes today. So I I I'm like, okay, I can do more, you know, sets of five and and you know, fours, and that's exciting. Uh I would like to see it off the streets. Uh I I got another year or two. I mean, it'd be pretty badass if I can make it to 60. But I I think I got another several years of me in EMS if I'm just smart about it. Yeah. You know, and then personal goal, I would love to bring movement to more people because it is really cool, and it it makes me want to cry almost like want to see a student that was very timid and didn't want to do this and didn't believe in themselves, like you're saying, then lift, and you see they kind of ha you know that is su that is the coolest thing. That is the coolest thing. It that's awesome to me.
Miriam LawrenceThe the beautiful thing about fitness and for lifting, I think, especially is that you're you're giving yourself evidence every rep, every set, every training session, every day, every month, you're giving yourself evidence that you can. Yes. And that's how you build confidence. That I mean, there is no other way. You have to prove it to yourself. You can tell yourself shit all day long and have affirmations and good messages, but you if you actually did it, you did it, and you know you did it, and you proved it to yourself, right? Which is sort of like that mentality you need to have on the platform, and I need to I need to remember that too. It's like, you know, you earned this, you put in the time. You have evidence that you can do this, so believe it. I love that. I love that. Yeah. Um, I I'm guilty of not. I don't I don't think I fully believe that enough when I'm in that moment. I don't know about you, but you know, that anxiety. I I undercut my own strength, I think, by thinking I can't. I think on some level I don't believe it. So that's something I'm working on.
SPEAKER_00We'll work on it together because I I I get entirely what you're saying. No, I I get that, and that's that fear, and then I have to think like you like what you said, we can do hard things. We could do hard things.
Miriam LawrenceYes. We are we are doing hard things. You are doing unbelievably hard things, and you're a huge inspiration. I know you're an inspiration to me, and you're an inspiration on social media because I see other people commenting on your posts. And by the way, where can people find you? What's your handle?
SPEAKER_00Sure, it's Tara the Walking Deadlifter. Yes, from The Walking Deadlift. I mean, sorry, The Walking Dead had a character named Tara. So I took it from that and it just kept it. So Tara the Walking Deadlifter.
Miriam LawrenceGuys, you gotta follow Tara. I love your posts. They're funny and they're self-deprecating and they're wise and they're all of the above. And they're top-tier trash. They are so not trash. And if somebody happens to be local to you in Little Rock and wants to get involved in or donate to or whatever, the deadlift uplift, is it a program?
SPEAKER_00Is it like how can they basically on campus, but but I think we're gonna try to open it up where, like, hey, if you're just on campus a walk by, we're not gonna be like, are you a student? Just hop in. Like it was really cool. Our campus walk for um suicide prevention. Just people were walking by because there was like, you know, survivors and family members, and so we're we we were doing it for anyone who wanted to I would love to do one once a month, but we're just you know trying to get our schedules together. Because I mean, I have the equipment and I now know I could just set it up any I I could set it up on the grass outside have done that. Like, I don't need permission.
Miriam LawrenceThis is University of Arkansas at Little Rock? Little Rock. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_00So we're we're known as UALR.
Miriam LawrenceYeah. Okay. Well, anyone listening, if you have family members or friends or kids or whatever that have any relationship, yeah. Yeah. Just giving it a shout out so people can get more involved with it. And last two questions. One of them is what is your favorite lift other than deadlift? Obviously, deadlift is your favorite. I'm not even gonna ask you.
SPEAKER_00Can it be a non-powerlifting one? Sure. I love vertical leg press. And I know everyone hates the laying press. I like it because like I'm sure with all of this, I can do a lot and I feel like I'm a badass. Like I have gotten up to where I could do 12 fucking plates. I'm like, oh my god, look at me go. Of course, you know, it doesn't translate on the platform, but that I love the leg press because it's just all lower body. It's just um, I use my my my whittle whittle wags.
Miriam LawrenceLast question, because I'm trying to build a playlist, is what what is your hype song? If you're going for that 320, you know, five chip on your record.
SPEAKER_00Well it changes, but I like you know, rap hip-hop. The big one that I've been listening to lately is Plan B by Megan Thee Stallion.
Miriam LawrenceOkay.
SPEAKER_00Is it just gets me like anything that makes you feel violent?
Miriam LawrenceYes. When we need cool. There's a few songs I listen to that are in my ears in the gym. And it was like all these like, you know, 18-year-old boys at the gym training, you know, after they're all a little flexing in the mirror, you know, dweebs. And I'm like, I've got like you know, Megan the Stallion Savage playing in my ear, or I've got um uh crazy bitch. And it's just these obscene lyrics going into my head.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, if they know what I was listening to right now, this whole lady is like oh, she's probably listened to Madonna, our trailer's with all. We're listening to Megan The Stallion. Very soft rocky.
Miriam LawrenceYeah, Jared, it has been such fun talking to you and such a pleasure. And I wish you all of the best and great success as you continue your journey of recovery from all this shit that you've been dealing with physically. And uh, I hope we get a chance to meet sometime.
SPEAKER_00Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much, Miriam. I really appreciate you reaching out, and it was an honor to be here.
Miriam LawrenceThanks so much for listening to That Badass Broadcast. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you're subscribed wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find the show notes for this episode at thatbadassbroad.com forward slash podcast, and you can subscribe there for my writing on strength, training, and competing later in life. You can watch the full video of this episode on YouTube at That Badass Broad. And for clips and training, follow me on Instagram at Mearslam, M I R S L A M. Thanks again for being here and have a badass day.