#005 The R.I.C.H Framework of Mentorship

In this episode, Stef breaks down her proprietary RICH Framework for mentorship, the exact system she's used to mentor high-achieving women to build multi-million dollar businesses. But here's the thing: most people in network marketing have NO IDEA what real mentorship actually looks like. They confuse it with coaching, therapy, and accountability, and that confusion is burning people out and giving the industry a bad rep.

If you're new in business and think you need to mentor everyone, this episode is your wake-up call. And if you're already mentoring, this framework will change how you show up for your team.

What You'll Learn:

• The 4 pillars of the RICH Framework: Relationship, Intention, Capacity, and Habits
• The critical difference between mentorship, coaching, therapy, and accountability
• Why new network marketers need to STOP trying to mentor when they're still babies themselves
• The layered leadership approach and why apprenticeship is the key to sustainable success
• How nervous system capacity determines whether you'll hold success or self-sabotage
• Why your intentions matter more than your goals (and how to uncover them)
• The consistency habits that actually build wealth vs. the busy work that keeps you broke
  
  

Key Quotes from This Episode:
"When you have the right coach, the right mentor—someone who's actually willing to call you out on your bullshit and hold you to the standard that YOU want to be held to—that can literally change the trajectory of your life."

"You can give someone the best strategies in the world, but if they don't feel seen and if they don't feel safe, they will not implement it. Their nervous system just will not let them."

"Most people out there have no idea why they're doing the things that they're doing in life. They're chasing goals that aren't even theirs."

"If your nervous system can't hold the level of success that you are trying to build, you will self-sabotage yourself every single time."

"Would you trust a first-year medical student to perform surgery on you? No. But in network marketing, we've created this culture where everyone thinks they need to be a leader from day one."

"Stop trying to be everyone's mentor. Instead, be the best mentee you can be."
"Real leaders know their limits. Real leaders know when it's time to step up and also when it's time to step back."

"Transformation doesn't come from intensity. It comes from consistency."
"Motion isn't money. Stop playing business."

"Shame will kill momentum. Shame will make you want to hide when you make a mistake instead of coming back and trying again."

Resources Mentioned:

Books:

• "Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World" by Ann-Laura Le Cunff

Traditions:

• Wealth Wednesday (giving back in monetary fashion every Wednesday)

Programs:

• Legacy Leaders  (Stef's high-ticket sales business)
• High-ticket coaching with Stef

Transcript

0:02

Hi Queen. Welcome to another episode of Call Her Coach. I'm Stefanie, and today we are gonna be talking about mentorship, but probably not in a way that you've heard it or maybe been exposed to in the past. Okay. I have been in the mentorship coaching industry, network marketing, social selling space for about a decade now. I am the top, I think it's 0.5% in the network marketing industry in terms of. You know, sales made, revenue generated, commission collected. So I'm definitely within the top 1%. I am the founder of the Legacy Leaders Movement, which is my high ticket team, and before I went into high ticket, I was actually building my own life coaching practice. fun fact, I spent months and months and months getting certified in NLP transformative business life coaching, all the things right. Because I truly have a passion for helping other women specifically uncover pieces of themselves that they may not be able to see on their own. Those like those hidden gaps and those blind spots that we have, the things that are keeping. You stuck that you can't even identify yourself because you're just too close to it. You can't, and that's why mentorship and coaching is so important to collapse timeframes of where you are now to where you wanna be. And the most important thing I've learned is that having the right coach and the right mentor, someone who's actually willing to call you out on your bullshit and hold you to the standard that you want to be held to. That can literally change the trajectory of your life. And I don't say that lightly. And it's not just your life either, but everyone else around you, because that transformation, it will create a ripple effect. So over the years, watching what works and what doesn't, building my teams coaching high ticket clients, I have created what I call the rich framework. and this isn't necessarily about money, although, let's, let's be real. When you get mentorship, right? Wealth is absolutely a byproduct of that. And there's a famous quote out there about helping others get what they want, which leads to your own success. And it's by Zig Ziglar. And he says, you can have everything in life that you want if you just help enough people get what they want. what he means by this is that when you are truly able to selflessly focus on serving others' needs. That is actually the key to achieving everything you want in life, your own goals, and it's by creating a cycle of mutual success and happiness, it's service over self. It's gonna shift the focus from self gain to actually helping others because of the law of reciprocity. When you help other people succeed, success comes back to you tenfold. We have a little thing that we do in my community called Wealth Wednesdays, where we go out there and some monetary fashion. So if you're listening to this, um, happy Wealth Wednesday. It is Wednesday today because we changed the episode launches from Tuesday to Wednesday. But we have this little thing called Wealth Wednesday, and every Wednesday I will go, I started this tradition, gosh. Seven years ago, six years ago, when I was in corporate sales every morning before I would, it was a non-negotiable. On Wednesdays, I would go to Starbucks before I went to my office and I would buy someone behind me their Starbucks order. So I continue that tradition now of sharing wealth, getting money to move. Money is like water. It needs to flow. What happens when money is stagnant? What happens when water is stagnant? It goes rancid. It goes rotten. You can't drink it. So you have to be in continuous flow of money, money in money out. And on another episode, we'll get into the frequency of money. But when it comes to reciprocity, in terms of what we're gonna be talking about today with mentorship, when you help others succeed, success comes back to you tenfold. It is the foundation for success. It's the core philosophy for building a successful life and career is just helping. Enough people get what they want. That's it. But the rich framework stands for relationship, intention, capacity, and habits. These four pillars are what? Separate mentorship that feels transactional almost for mentorship that literally will change the trajectory of someone's life and business forever. And we're also gonna be having a really important conversation about what mentorship actually is and what it's not. Because I see way too many people in network marketing, in sales, um, if you're leading a team, I see this getting confused a lot, but primarily in network marketing is people will confuse mentorship with coaching, with therapy, and with accountability. And I see brand new people thinking that they need to mentor everyone when they're still babies themselves. So we're gonna unpack all of that today. This framework is rooted in psychology, nervous system science, and what I've actually worked with high achieving women who are ready to build real wealth, who aren't victims, who aren't fucking out there making excuses for themselves, who are ready to roll up the sleeves, get dirty and build real freaking wealth. This is about creating a sustainable transformation in yourself as well as those that you choose to mentor as well. This is not a quick motivational, like hit episode. So let's break it down. Let's talk frameworks.

Speaker 6:08

Welcome to the Call Her Coach podcast. I'm your host, Stef Willis, neuro operational coach and creator of becoming her the neuro identity calibration system behind high-end Regulation for female entrepreneurs. This. Podcast is for high functioning type A women who are done with surface level mindset hacks and ready to understand the science behind success and wealth. Here we blend nervous system science, wealth psychology and tactical, no bullshit business strategy so that you can rewire your identity, expand your capacity, scale your business, and increase your income if you are ready to regulate, recalibrate, and become the most wealthy version of yourself. Let's dive in.

6:57

All right. The first piece of the rich framework is our relationships and. What I want you to hear first when we go through this is that if your mentorship feels transactional, that's your first red flag. That it's kind of dead in the water. Okay. What do you mean by transactional Stef? What I mean by that, and this goes both ways for mentor and mentee, it's when someone shows up to the conversation to only get something from you. You're the mentor right now. Okay. Someone's coming to you and they, they just, you haven't heard from it in a little bit, and they just need, you know, they want some advice. Maybe they want a new strategy. Maybe they're looking, I mean, more oftentimes than not, they're looking for like a quick fix to whatever their problem is, and then afterwards they disappear until they need something else. That's transactional. Or on the flip side, it's when a mentor treats you like you're a checkbox. On their to-do list. All right, so we had our monthly call. That's done. Okay, well, I checked in, you know, once a week, then I'm done. That's it. I don't have anything else to do. That's also not mentorship. That's literally like, that's networking. It's just networking with some extra steps in there. Real mentorship, however, is built on relationships. And relationships require vulnerability. They require trust, and most importantly, they require psychological safety. More oftentimes than not, you're gonna be mentoring someone that you have never met before. And with that relationship, it means that both people are interested in each other's growth, not just one-sided. You as the mentee are invested. In your mentor's growth and protecting their time and energy and your mentor, same thing. They're invested in your growth. it's not a transactional relationship. All right. Let me give you an example of this. When someone decides to partner with me and they wanna start their own high ticket business, they come in, the first thing that I do not do is I do not instantly talk about strategy. And we even start this on the sales call. I have a very specific framework that I have my. Team follow when they hop on calls with women to see if we're gonna be a good fit to work together. And it's not about strategy at all. Myself and my executive team, we don't instantly, you know, jump into here's how you make money online, here's the system, da, da, da. Right? Like, that's important, that's part of it. But instead we get really curious about who that person is. I wanna know who I'm working with, who I'm coaching. Because if I don't know who the person is, it's not gonna convert for them. I could give them all the strategies on the face of the planet, but if I don't know who they are and what freedom actually looks like for them, if I don't know what they're scared of, if I don't know what their limiting beliefs are about money, success, any of that, I'm not gonna be able to properly mentor or coach them. And here's what I've learned. As well from my psychology background and from doing this work over and over and over again for years, you can give someone the best strategies in the world. Like I could teach how to create a seven figure business where you are making 50 to a hundred thousand dollars a month. I can give you that strategy. I've broken that code. I know how to do it. I can do it on repeat. I can teach a fifth grader the strategy. But if you don't feel seen and if you don't feel safe, they will not implement it. Their nervous system just will not let them. So if you're out there and you're mentoring someone or being mentored by someone. Listen to me here. You gotta stop treating it like a business transaction. There's a lot of business etiquette that will be had, but you gotta stop treating it like a transaction. You gotta get curious, you gotta ask deeper questions. You have to build that trust with the other human being. And without that no framework, no strategy, no nothing is going to work, I promise you. All right. Let's talk about the second pillar intention. And listen, everyone talks about having clear goals. It's the end of 2025. We just started 2026, so everybody's talking about 20, 26 goals and all this, right? But intention is different. Intention is about understanding the real why behind what someone says they want. And I almost hate talking about the why because I think that it's overused and it's so cliche, but I cannot, for the life of me think of something easier to call it. I mean, we could say purpose, right? The real purpose behind what someone says they want. Most people out there. have no idea why they're doing the things that they're doing in life. They're just walking around because they think that these goals are something that they should be aiming towards. I know for a lot of younger people, myself included, when we were younger and we were in high school, it was go to college, get a good degree, go get a good job. And then retire, right? Like work that job until you retire. it took me a long time to realize that those weren't my goals. I was chasing goals that weren't even mine. Maybe you're chasing a version of success that you see on Instagram. Maybe you're out there chasing what your parents told you to do or what you should be doing. Maybe you're chasing what your corporate job conditioned you to value. And what I see a lot of times is this disconnect because people have no idea what their true intentions are in life. They have no idea, and then they wonder why they feel so empty when they hit that goal. They're like the fuck. In my high ticket coaching container, one of the first things that we do is an intention audit where they don't just write down their goals. We will actually. Dig into why someone wants those goals. And then I keep asking why until we get to the real reason. I've done this shoot almost a decade now. This is what really set it off for me, is really understanding someone chooses to do or not do things in their life. So for example, when someone says, you know, I wanna make six figures in the next. Six months, let's just say. I'm gonna ask them why. Cool. Well make it happen. But why? Maybe they'll say that, you know, maybe then I'll feel successful. Okay. But why does success matter to you? They might say because they wanna prove to their family that they can do this. Okay. And you keep peeling back that onion. And I will do this with people until they get emotional. I will sit in that uncomfortability with them'cause I'm standing for their transformation. And sometimes it really does get very uncomfortable. It gets heated and you have to sit in that with them. You have to love the person so much that you are unwilling to accept the lies and the bullshit. And sometimes they're gonna be like, I don't know why I even want this. That happens a lot of times and you just gotta sit with a minute. Okay, what does that mean? What does that mean? Why does that matter? And ask these questions over and over and over and over again. Sometimes we'll do it for 45 minutes straight. Okay? But you have to get to the root of the intention. So in the example I just gave you, they had said, I want to prove to my family that I can do this. Right? That's it. The real intention isn't the money. Yes, having six figures in the next six months, it's gonna be great, but that's not their real intention. It's validation, it's proving something. And that goes deep in our subconscious. If we don't name it, if we don't get intentional about it, that person's gonna keep chasing external validation instead of building something that actually fulfills them. Intention matters so much in mentorship because when you are clear. On your real intentions, you're gonna be able to make decisions faster. Yes, this is in alignment. No, this is not in alignment. You say no to the opportunities that don't align. You stop getting distracted by shiny object syndrome. Oh, look at this new company over here. Look at this comp plan over here. Look at this person. She's doing this. Look at this person, she's doing this. And you put your fucking blinders on and you get to build something that is actually sustainable. Because it's rooted in what you want versus what you think you should want. as a mentor, my job isn't to project my intentions onto you. You as a mentor, your job is not to project your intentions onto your clients. Your job is to help your client get crystal clear on their intentions. through strategic questioning because their path to wealth and freedom and where they wanna go is gonna look different than yours. And that's exactly how it should be. And we have to, as mentors, as coaches, take a step back and remove ourself from the equation. It's not about what we want, it's about what our client, what our team wants, and what they need. Number three in our rich framework. C. which stands for capacity. And this is where my background in psychology and nervous system work over the years comes in because you can have, again, all the strategy in the world, but if your nervous system can't hold the level of success that you are trying to build. You will self-sabotage yourself every single time. This is the inner work that is required to get you from your current state to your objective state. This is how we collapse. That gap is a regulated nervous system, so let me explain to you a little bit by what I mean specifically with capacity. Capacity is your ability to regulate your nervous system. When things get hard, it's metacognition to where you have dominion over your own thoughts. You can retrospectively look inward. It's your ability to hold discomfort without wanting to quit. I mean, you might even want to quit, but you won't quit. Okay? It is your ability to receive, and this is so hard for women, this. Still to this day is something that I have to focus on in order to accept, but it's your ability to receive, receive money, receive praise, receive compliments, receive success without immediately finding a way to make it go away because it feels uncomfortable. We are taught from a very young age as women to be humble and to give and all these things, right? I see this all the time with high achieving women. You know how to work, you do you know how to hustle, you know how to execute you, but then when someone pays you a compliment or you receive something, money, praise, anything like that from the results of that work. Your nervous system freaks out. I know for me, when someone gives me a compliment, I'm like, oh, I have to give one back. I have to give one back. Or someone pays for something for me. my nervous system still to this day is like, Nope we gotta make it even, we gotta pay them back. We gotta give, give, give, give. And that's coming. I know from an unregulated nervous system. So this is something that I consciously have to think of when it happens. So when someone gives me a compliment, I simply say, I sit in the uncomfortableness and I'm just like, thank you. I fully receive that. And it's so hard to not give a compliment back. It's so hard to let other people pay for me, but I know that I'm breaking generational patterns by intentionally working through this. Does that make sense? So another example. Maybe you hit a new income level, and suddenly you start spending money on things that you don't need, but you're like, I've never been able to buy this before and it's been something I've thought about, so let me go buy it now. When we first came into money, I did this all the time, I didn't have a regulated nervous system around money and wealth because I didn't come from money and wealth. Wealth is a learned skillset, so is poverty. So I had to unlearn. Poverty and learn wealth and abundance where I could be the woman who could have and hold multiple seven figures and I wouldn't just give it all away. I see this a lot of times when people come into a lot of money quickly, which is very normal in the high ticket space. They'll go from having, you know, working 160 hours a a month, making 3000,$5,000 a month to. Closing two sales, making over$10,000, two hours of their time. And so there's a disconnect there. We have to make sure that we have the capacity to have and hold that, or you will self-sabotage every single time. Maybe like when I mentioned earlier, when someone gives me a compliment, maybe you get a praise from somebody that you respect and immediately. Maybe you deflect it or maybe you downplay it, like, oh, your, um, your business is doing so well. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's doing okay. Oh, you're on fire. Yeah. I mean, I'm okay. Why do we do that as women? What the fuck is that about? We have to own that. We have to have to have to start owning it. And again, it's gonna be discomforting at first, I say all this. Because I want you to realize that if you have hit an income ceiling and you can't get past it, it's not necessarily a strategy issue. That could be a tiny piece, but it's more than likely a capacity issue. And here's what that is going to look like inside of mentorship. How to build capacity inside of mentorship. It's gonna look like you being able to help someone notice when they're dysregulated. When their nervous system is in fight or flight or freeze or fawn, and then teaching them how to come back to center, that is an important piece in mentorship. It's creating that space for someone to feel their feelings instead of immediately jumping into problem solving mode or pushing it down, You have to feel the feelings. You have to fully allow your body, the physiological response of feeling those feelings. And working through them. It's celebrating the wins in a way that helps someone's nervous system recognize that this is safe to celebrate these wins. It's okay to have this. I'm allowed to feel good and that may be little baby steps. I always tell women that I work with that I'm gonna put you in some uncomfortable positions. Maybe they've never built a business online before. Maybe they've never went live before. And I tell them upfront, if you're not willing to get uncomfortable, this relationship won't work. So you tell me now, are you willing to embrace uncomfortability if you have someone walking beside you to help you, nine times outta 10, they're like, yes, I'm not gonna push someone off the pool into the deep end. We're gonna walk into the kitty pool first, and then we're gonna build. The muscle and the skillset to where they don't need me anymore. That's what mentorship looks like. One of my favorite things to do with women that I coach is what I call, and they may not even know it, but I do these capacity check-ins. So before we dive into business strategy, which that is my love language. I would just talk business strategy, if I could, but there's more pieces that go, into mentorship than just business strategy. So I might say something like, how's your nervous system today? What is your capacity today? Where are you out on a scale of one to 10? And if someone is a nine out of 10, meaning that they're totally dysregulated, they're stressed to the max day, they're overwhelmed, they're not gonna be able to hear strategy. Their prefrontal cortex has completely already went offline. They're in true survival mode at this moment. So instead of me pushing them to do more work, we're gonna work on regulation first. We might do some breath work, we might do some somatic tapping, we might do some mirror work, we might do some stretching. We might do, you know, something like that to get the person out of their head and into their body. We might talk about, you know, what's actually going on in their life briefly.'cause again, we're gonna be talking about what a business coach is, what a mentor is, what an accountability coach is, what a therapist is, And while I am a coach, a mentor, and a business strategist, and I am not a therapist, I still may hold space for them to admit verbally to someone else what they're struggling with. I can be a sounding board. And then, you know, once we take the appropriate action to regulate their nervous system in that moment, then we can talk strategy. if you have strategy with no capacity, that's the fastest way to burn yourself out in business. 2025 was really freaking hard for me. I'm talking betrayal, backstabbing business. Drama, mean girling, like all of it. There were days. Where I had to look at my team and I had to say, you know, like, Hey, I'm not at full capacity today and that's okay. I'm gonna still show up for you how I can, but I just wanna be, you know, honest and transparent about where I'm at. And that was really hard for me to do. You know what that was? That was difficult because I am known for just being this strong rock. But when I was able to share that vulnerability. And be honest about my capacity in that moment, I was still showing up. I believe in consistency. Some days you're gonna be operating at a 25% capacity level. Some days you're gonna be operating at a hundred. But it's the consistency to show up every single day. And when I did that, when I was transparent, when I was vulnerable about the things that were happening, it gave other women on my team. Permission to do the same, to not have to have it all together all the time. We put enough pressure on ourselves as women every single day. When I was able to be vulnerable, it created a culture for my team that said it's okay to not be okay. Sometimes it's okay to not be okay and still work your business to still show up. Yeah, even though you're not at a hundred percent, and ironically, that's when a lot of breakthroughs really started happening was being honest and vulnerable about where I was at with my capacity and giving them permission to find strength in the fact that they don't have to be a hundred percent all the time. Okay. Before we get into the fourth pillar. We need to have a really important conversation about what mentorship is and what it is not because I see so much confusion in the network marketing space about what mentorship is and is not. There's so much confusion out there about this, and I'm gonna break it down really simple for you. There is a difference between a business coach, a mentor, a therapist. Ain't an accountability buddy. Okay. We're gonna just, those are the four that we're gonna talk about because those are the four that I see get intertwined so much in this industry, and it burns women out. It gives the industry a bad rep, and it's because people are out there building businesses wrong, if you don't understand these distinctions, you are gonna burn yourself out. You're gonna burn your team out because you're trying to be everything to everyone. Or you're gonna get disappointed when someone doesn't give you what you need. So let's start with what a therapist is. Okay? Therapists are trained, licensed professionals who are able to help you work through trauma, through mental issues, through deep psychological patterns. That is not what I do. That is not what a business mentor does. That is not what a business coach does. And if someone in your upline is trying to play therapist with you immediate, like red flag run, they are not trained to give you that level of support and it can actually set you back. So don't rely on an upline of any sorts to be your therapist unless they are a licensed therapist. That is the only way that you can, okay. Now a business coach in comparison is someone who is gonna teach you specific skills and strategies about said business. They are going to focus on tactics. Here's how to run a sales call. here's how to build a website. Here's how to structure your funnel. Here's how to create an email nurture campaign. Here's how to close a sale. Here's how to, convert a lead to a booked call in the dms. Okay. That's coaching. It's skill-based. It's usually like short term goal oriented, That is my love language business coaching. A mentor on the other hand, is someone who has been where you want to go and is walking alongside you in your journey. Mentorship is long term. It's relationship based. It's about personal and professional development. A mentor doesn't just. Teach you what to do. They help you become the person who can do it. So in the high ticket space, my role is a business coach slash mentor. Those are my two areas of genius that I help with. And then lastly, we have an accountability partner, or an accountability coach, or an accountability buddy, accounta, what do we call those? Uh, accounta buddies. Anyways, that is someone who is checking in on you. Making sure you are following through on what you said you wanted to do. It's a more transactional relationship. It's helpful, but not in the same way that mentorship is. So your upline, your mentor. This is where a lot of people think that their upline should be an accountability coach. That's a specific skill set. Not everybody's going to have that. You can go get certified and go take courses on how to be an accountability coach. But if you haven't done that, it's gonna be really exhausting. So I tell people all the time in my industry, my business, I'm not your accountability buddy. I'm not. I'm your business coach. I'm your mentor. It is up to you to show up for you. Now, if you need an accountability coach, if you need a therapist, I can absolutely make recommendations, but I would be doing you a huge disservice trying to put on all these hats that are not in my area of genius. Here's where network marketing gets really messy and gets a really bad rep. I see this time and time and time again over the past decade, it's time that we have a different conversation the industry is beautiful, what it can do for people. I've seen it create multiple seven figure entrepreneurs. I have seen it help sales in general help women. Get out of horrible relationships, controlling, narcissistic, abusive relationships, and when they learn sales in any capacity, network, marketing, coaching, whatever. When they learn sales, let's just talk about sales. They're able to get out of those situations because they find their purpose, they find their passions. They have a skillset that is transferrable to any industry on the planet. It is the most marketable skillset that you can have. The greatest expense in life is lack of knowledge. And when you learn skills, when you have that knowledge, you're undefeated. let's go back to network marketing in general. Okay. Someone joins a network marketing company and you know, let's say they're three weeks in, they've made their first sale, or maybe they've hit like that first little rank, whatever it is. And suddenly they think that they need to start mentoring everyone. They're getting a team, they're getting an organization. Maybe they have five, 10 people. They're in their dms. Like, you guys can come to me for anything. I'll help you through it. Like whatever questions you have. And they're positioning themselves as some kind of expert. And I mean, this, with all the love in my heart, baby girl. You are not an expert yet. You are just a baby yourself, and I don't say that to be mean or to discredit the work that you've already done. I say that because if you are trying to mentor when you are still figuring things out yourself. That is a recipe for disaster for you and your team. You're gonna be giving advice that you're not qualified to give yet. You're gonna be making promises that you can't, you don't even know if you can keep'em, and then you are likely gonna be burning out because you're trying to pour from an empty cup. This is why I teach layered leadership inside of the network marketing container. When you are new in network marketing or business in general, let's just say that. Your first job is to master the basics. Your first job is not to be a mentor. Your job, your only job is to be coachable and be a mentee. I want you to think of it like what's that movie with the Grasshopper? Not the Grasshopper, but he's like, yes, grasshopper do this. And he's like, yes, master, I do this. That's the approach that you need to take when it comes to mentorship. As a mentee, you need to be completely. Ego put aside in apprenticeship mode. You need to be learning, observing. You need to be absorbing everything you can from people who are actually where you wanna be. That's how you're gonna fast track your way to success. And I want you to think about it like this. I'm gonna give you a practical example here. Okay? Would you trust a first year medical student to perform surgery on you? No. They need years of apprenticeship. They need to watch seasoned physicians practice under their supervision before they're ever qualified to operate on their own. They're gonna go through skills labs. They're gonna be working on cadavers, not real life human beings. They're gonna be doing all the other things to build the foundation, the really basic skillsets before they go and operate on a human being. but in network marketing, we've created this culture where everyone thinks that they need to be a leader from day one, a world class surgeon from day one. And that's not how it works. That's not in any other industry how expertise is built. So what the fuck are we doing here? We have got this so wrong. I love sales, I love network marketing, but we have to start training people correctly, or again, there's gonna be this ripple effect, and then we're gonna end up where we're at, to be honest with you, and why it has such a bad rep. So what layered leadership actually looks like. When you are brand new, you find a mentor, someone who has been in the business for years, or can connect you with someone Who has the results that you want? Who embodies the kind of leader that you want to become, and you learn from them. You stay close to the fire. You ask questions, you implement what they teach you without question. And I say without question because if they're telling you to do something, there's a reason for it. So do it. And then ask why. Don't be like, well, why do you want me to do this? Like just do it. See what happens, and then have a conversation about it. And you gotta show up with consistency. As you start getting results, as you start figuring things out, then you can share your experiences with other new people. Not as a mentor per se, but as a peer. And this is where a lot of people get it wrong. They think that they have to be more than they are, and they're not enjoying where they're at in the journey because they're comparing themselves to someone who's a chapter 20. So as a peer, this is what that looks like. It's, it's you basically saying, here's what worked for me. Here's what didn't, here's what I'm learning. That's it. And then once you've been in the game for a while, once you've hit some real milestones, once you've developed skill sets, once you have developed your own philosophy and approach, that's when you can start stepping into mentorship. here's what I see. A lot of times when people skip the process, they start quote unquote, I'm doing air quotes right here, mentoring people that don't actually have the capacity to hold space for someone else's growth yet. They are still figuring out their own nervous system regulation, whether they're calling it that or not. That's what it is. they're still trying to figure out their own money mindsets, their own consistencies or inconsistencies, and they're trying to help other people with those things and they haven't mastered them yet. It doesn't work. Or worse, they start really confusing that mentorship with therapy because it feels good to be needed. It feels good to be wanted, and you have your downline and your team coming to you with all their problems, and then you are burning out because you don't have the capacity to hold one for yourself, but two other people's shit. So typically someone will come to them with a real emotional issue or trauma, and instead of saying like, Hey, that's outside of my scope. I think this is something that you would benefit. Having professional support from. I can make recommendations. They will try to fix it, and that's dangerous. And here's my advice. If you're new in network marketing, stop trying to be everyone's mentor. Don't instead be and focus on. Being the best mentee you can be. Show up to trainings. Stay close to the fire. Stay close to your mentor or their mentor. If you are brand new, ask great questions. Implement immediately. Share your wins. Share your struggles. Be coachable. Be consistent. Build your own results first. And if people start asking you for help, point them to your mentor. Say, Hey, I'm still learning this myself. I don't have the answer quite yet. But this is who is teaching me. They're incredible. let me find the answer. There's so much power in that people think that they have to know everything. They have to know the ins and outs of the business, the comp plan, the everything to be helpful, and that's so not true. You're setting yourself up for failure. You outsourcing proves. Your leadership. It's not you being unhelpful, it's you being honest and there's so much strength and safety you can provide in being honest and having that integrity. And ironically, those are the stepping stones that are gonna make you a great future leader, coach, mentor, because as a leader you know your limits. Real leaders know when it's time to step up and also when it's time to step back. They don't always need to be in the spotlight. if you are a mentor, here's what I want you to hear from this. If you are actually in a position and a place to mentor another human being, you've been in the game, right? You've been doing this for years. You have results, you have the capacity, you've done the inner work, then it is your responsibility to set boundaries around what mentorship is and what it is not. If you do not, you will not be able to grow your leadership capacity. If someone needs therapy, you have to refer them to a therapist or trauma coach. If someone needs tactical coaching and that's not your area of expertise, they need frameworks, they need something like that, connect them with a coach. If someone just needs accountability and that's not your area of genius. Refer them to an accountability coach or set up an accountability system, and if they need true mentorship, meaning someone to walk with them, to see their potential, to help them navigate the messy middle, because you have been through that and you have figured out how to get through that, then show up for that and show up for that person with that intention. Don't try to be everything to everybody. Be excellent at one thing that you love doing, and run with that. All right, let's get into our fourth pillar H habits, consistency over intensity. And this is the one that's gonna separate people who actually build true wealth online from the people who just stay stuck in the same cycle of starting and stopping and. Switching teams and switching companies and starting over and doing all this and having the shiny object syndrome because their flag's not LAN. Transformation doesn't come from intensity. It comes from consistency. You are not going to build a multimillion dollar business from one single thing, one launch, one post. You were going to build it because you showed up every single day because. You do the unsexy work that nobody sees, you're gonna build it because you're being consistent. Some days you might show up as a 5%. Other days it's gonna be a hundred percent. And if we are women, we operate in 28 day cycles. So every single week is gonna be a different version of us. You don't change your money story from what it is right now to where you wanna be from one thing that you do. Maybe it's a coaching session, maybe it's a business. You started like you're not gonna change your money story from one thing. You're gonna change it by consistently challenging your limiting beliefs and rewiring your nervous system over time. It's like going to the gym. You don't expect to get six pack abs if you just go to the gym once a week. No, you gotta be committed. You gotta be dedicated to the transformation. You have to physically go in there and you have to rip your muscles apart when you work out. And then eventually your muscles are gonna rebuild themselves. They're gonna become stronger over time, and then you're gonna have six pack abs. But you have to be committed to the transformation. You can't just fall in love with the idea of having a gym membership. I could have a gym membership and I could be paying$250 a month for my Pilates membership. And if I don't go to Pilates, I'm not gonna have a healthy, strong body. You have to be realistic about that. You don't become, in contrast, you, you're not gonna become the type of leader that people wanna follow. By having one inspirational post or one inspirational moment, you're gonna become the leader that other people need you to be by consistently showing up with integrity, even when it's fucking hard. This is why integrity. Is my number one value that I operate in life and business. And here's what I want you to focus on when it comes to habits in mentorship. Okay? First, we are going to identify the habits that are actually making you money, not the busy work.'cause a lot of people out there just do busy work and then they wonder why. They're not getting any results. I like to call it people playing business. I say, stop playing business motion isn't money. Like stop dorking around. I'm literally talking about the habits that are directly tied and lead you to revenue, relationships, and growth. For my high ticket team, my high ticket clients, that looks like daily mindset work. At least 15 minutes a day. Nothing crazy. 15 minutes. You could do that while you're in the shower. You could do that, you know, if you're still working a job on your drive to work from work. But minimally, 15 minutes of professional personal growth. It also looks like consistent outreach and relationship building, not just posting on social media and hoping and praying. That someone sees your content and starts a conversation, that's great. That's the ideal goal. But for a lot of people, that doesn't happen at first. So we have to build relationships. It's called network marketing. We have to go and network with people and not to pitch our product or our service, or magical unicorn juice, whatever company business that you're in, it's not that. It's actual relationship building and not fake relationship building, neither. I'm not out here saying, go build fake or poor. Not even in the slightest. I teach my team how to do this ethically and with integrity, and it comes from a place of service. I teach them how to do this. It also looks like weekly financial reviews. You have to know your numbers. If you don't know your stats, you don't have a business. You have to celebrate wins. You have to look at the strategy and you maybe have to pivot, right? That's all business is, is pivots, is testing. Analyzing, keeping the strategy, changing the strategy, like that's it, that's business. And then regular visibility. So whether that be, you know, Facebook Lives or being a guest on podcast content creation, speaking on stages, like whatever your channel is like, you have to be visible. You have to be omnipresent. And second, we're gonna make those habits so small and so simple that your brain cannot come up with excuses not to do them. I don't care if you only have five minutes, we can work with five minutes. And then third, this is key. We build in accountability. Shame will make you want to hide when you make a mistake instead of coming back and trying again. And this is what I see a lot of times in toxic narcissistic coaching relationships is there's so much shame when someone doesn't do something. I see coaches all the time. Maybe someone said that they're gonna post every day for the next week and they post maybe three times. I have seen and heard with my own eyeballs and my own ears. Coaches out there say, you are manipulating me. Don't talk to me again. And I'm just over here like, are you fucking kidding me? There's a reason that they didn't, and yes, you have to have boundaries and you have to, honor your time, but also in that same breath, you have to understand the why. Maybe someone has shame or they have guilt, or there's something subsurface as to why they're not doing the things. It's not just because they're emotionally manipulating you. That's another episode for another day is toxic mentorship.'cause trust me, I have experienced my fair share. So here's how I do accountability different because again, I'm not out here. Checking in every single day. Hey, did you do this? Did you do this? Did you do this? Did you do this? That's exhausting. I don't have time for that. Okay. That's not a high value skill of mine. If someone on my team or in my coaching program, they miss a call or they don't follow through on what you know, something is that they said they were gonna do first things first. I don't guilt them or make them feel bad for it. I just simply ask them like, Hey, what got on the way? Like, what do we need to adjust? And sometimes the answer is, I'm overwhelmed and I need to simplify. Maybe it's, they don't actually believe that this is gonna work for them, that limiting belief. Maybe it's, um, you know, maybe they need more support in a specific area. First, the foundational work in order to have that conversion to where they are consistent in that area. All those answers, whatever it is that you are getting, they're very useful because they help us course correct. In real time, instead of letting someone quietly just check out, and here's what consistency looks like in my own business, okay? I have people schedule time on my calendar if they need really strategic, specific support, and I protect that time. If there's not a coaching call scheduled or if they're not coming to me during office hours, I'm simply not available. I, I have to protect that time because I have so many things going on. I show up for my team even when I'm going through my own stuff. That's my commitment to them. Whether it be at a 5% capacity or a hundred percent capacity, doesn't matter. I still show up in some capacity. I record podcast episodes even when I don't feel inspired because I know that you guys out there are counting on me. I do nervous system work every single day, not just when I am stressed out. These are things that they may not always be perfect. No, they're not going to be actually. But their consistent and that consistency has built trust and credibility, and a business that does over$5 million in revenue a year and has generated over 1.2 million in commissions in my bank account in the two and a half years. So I want you to look at your current habits. What are you doing consistently that is moving you forward, that you're not out there playing business? What are you doing inconsistently that's keeping you exactly where you're at with your current income level? And then pick one habit to commit to for the next 30 days, just one, and build from there. There's a great book that I read, it's called. Tiny experiments. How to live Freely in a Goal Obsessed World by Ann Laura Lako. I think that's how you say it. This is a game changing book. If you're in business and you get overwhelmed with habits and things like that, it will completely reframe your mind on how you look at productivity. It. Is a complete game changer. I'm looking at the book right now and I have so many notes inside of it. It is insane. Okay, so let's bring this all home. Okay. The Rich Framework, relationship, intention, capacity, and Habits. These four pillars are what I use to mentor every single person in my world, Relationship creates the foundation of trust and safety. Intention gets you clear on what you really want, or, intention gets your mentee clear on what they really want. Capacity is gonna build your nervous system's ability to hold whatever that version of success is. Whatever your intention is, and habits are gonna turn that. Transformation into a sustainable lifestyle. And remember what we talked about where mentorship is not the same as coaching. It's not the same as therapy. It's not the same as accountability. If you're new in business or network marketing, your job is to be a great student and mentee first. That is it to keep a simple, keep it basic. Learn the apprenticeship approach. Remove your ego. It will not serve you. Stop trying to mentor people when you are still figuring out yourself. Build your results, build your capacity, build your expertise, and then slowly step into that leadership. And if you're someone who's actually qualified to mentor someone, it's really important that you set boundaries that you know what's in your scope and what's not, and refer out when necessary true transformational leadership. And mentorship is sacred, and it's gonna require you to show up with intention, with integrity and complete awareness. Mentorship isn't about having all the answers for everybody. It's not about you being the answer for everybody. It's about you being able to walk alongside someone and help them find their path, their answers. It's about creating a space where real true transformation and growth can happen, not just like the surface level winds or surface level success stories, like true deep transformation. And if you're currently being mentored, I want you to ask yourself, are all four of these pillars present? And if you're brand new, give yourself permission to just be a student. You only are a student for a very short time in the grand scheme of things, and that's not a lesser position. That is the foundation of everything you're going to build on. If you don't have a solid foundation of how to be a mentee and a student and be coachable, you are not going to duplicate that down because you have no idea how to even do it, and then you're just gonna have complete chaos. All right. That's all I've got for you today. If this episode resonated, screenshot it. Share it on your stories. Tag me. I love hearing from you. The best thing that you can do to help a podcast grow is to rate and leave a review. That's how they push our content out, and I'm just a little baby podcast right now, so that would be extremely helpful if you would like to. Start exercising the law, reciprocity. And if you wanna go deeper on any of these topics, just send me a dm. Let's talk. My dms are open. So until next time, keep building, keep regulating that nervous system of yours. Stay in your lane and remember, you are closer than you think. Peace is.