All Beef

Sh*t Sheriff w Bridjet Mendy

• Amber Marie • Season 2 • Episode 12

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0:00 | 1:04:15

ALL BEEF IS SOOO BACK for SEASON 2! Kickin things off with some WOrK TrAumA & DrAMa with our returning guestie and NOW MARRIED bestie, BRIDJET MENDY! We got some BEEF with getting FIRED (literally & LITERALLY!). Bridjet has been putting her whole p*ssy into life between buying a home and stepping into her Tim Allen power! Amber talks about her job burning down (WOMP). Did you know people take bear mace to restaurants?! It is ALL BEEF <3 

SPEAKER_03

Let's dive into today's beef.

SPEAKER_02

Hi, welcome to All Beef with Avery. That's me. Um, I'm so excited. This is technically season two. We're doing it. Yay!

SPEAKER_01

I'm so happy to be here.

SPEAKER_02

Yay! So I'm here with my first guest of season two. You might remember from season one. Hey guys, it's Bridget Mendy.

SPEAKER_01

Hello.

SPEAKER_02

I'm so happy to be here on All Beef season two. All Beef season two. And gosh, do we have some, you know, um beef about our jobs? Oh my god. Holy hell, guys. So um I think the last time we recorded it must have been last summer.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, which is wild. It is now June 5th. This will be coming out. Um but what a what a time. Bridget, you've had a crazy timeline of events going on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, not that much has been happening. Just got married and then immediately got fired while I was trying to buy a house, and then we got the house, and then I had to get a new job, and I got a new job in that time. So it's been pretty chill.

SPEAKER_02

And Bridget did all of this in how much like in like three weeks.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Dude, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That sounds I mean, that's like the timeline of like a fucking rom-com, first of all.

SPEAKER_01

I have no idea how I did it, but yeah, it it was truly the hardest like three weeks of having to do stuff in my life. But at the same time, it was also very rewarding. Um, so you know, I I did say yes at the altar in case anyone was wondering if I was going to. I did. I was there.

SPEAKER_02

I had the fucking privilege of being a part of your bridal shower. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Is that what you call it? Bridal group? Bridal. Uh wedding party. Yeah, wedding party.

SPEAKER_02

And look, I'm still learning. Um, no, it was an absolutely beautiful wedding. Um, you could see all the personal touches Bridget put into it. Um, and yeah, Bridget looked so freaking hot, and Jake looked amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02

Get real. No, I always been I've been telling people all about it. It was so, so well done, and I was really, really happy to be there. So it was so great.

SPEAKER_01

Great work.

SPEAKER_02

And then everything was so great, and then Bridget went to work.

SPEAKER_01

And then I went, I I got married, went to work, and they said, Hey, bitch, get the fuck out. Um that's actually that's a quote. Yeah, and and you can quote me on that. They did walk me out of the building too, and I was like, Oh my god, I love my honeymoon. It's such a good prank, you guys. But for real, I did like pretty much get fired that week. And then my so fucking dark.

SPEAKER_02

And also, like, just you as knowing you as a friend and one of the nicer people, it just like the way they escorted you out just made you sound like a fucking criminal, and it made me crazy.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, my some of my coworkers who like I still talk to them, but one of them looked at me like I had just been shot, and he walked me out of the building too. And like, it was obviously I was bummed because we had just put in an offer on a house. Oh, right before that, right before that, because we wanted to wait until after we had done it before our wedding, and then we waited until like the week after. So we did, and then I got fired that same week, and then we got our offer accepted, and I was like, no shit, icky. Oh my god. Yeah, that was a whirlwind. Um, I will say though, on the bright side, getting fired was definitely a positive thing because that place sucked me dry. And no pun. Not in a nice way, not in the fun way that guys are used to. But yeah, I got I got uh canned and then from there after they accepted the offer, I was like frantically looking for a job. Luckily, found one. Insane. And it's been great so far, but oh my god, it was it was a lot, especially since this was like my first time buying a house. Which, if you are a seasoned homeowner out there, goddammit, this is hard.

SPEAKER_02

And the economy is so good right now, it's like honestly, you got so lucky there.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, never been better, never been better. You should be so blessed, dude. I was selling the furniture in our house. I was like, you're sitting on the couch, but like you could sit on the floor, right? My husband's like, um, maybe keep that for now. Sold like a whole bunch of our other stuff. I was like selling all my clothes, just withering down to nothing, trying to make enough money so it didn't look like anything had been different in our bank accounts because they monitored that.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, no way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and there's so much stuff that you have to like pay for as well. So we just were like racking things up eventually. Luckily, like we were, like I said, we we ended up getting the house, but they had said when they accepted our offer, like, hey, we want to move aggressively. And I was like, What what's that mean? I'm I'm pulling a mortgage into this, like it's aggressive as it gets. Are you gonna punch me? Dude, they're like, we're going stage four. Yeah, you're like, get in the van.

SPEAKER_02

That's so crazy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so everything turned out well. Um, but yeah, it's been crazy. It's been a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. No, I am so sorry. And it's so funny because I've been trying to ramp up to do season two, um, and obviously wanted to have my friends back on, and I kind of had this idea in my head, um, because we'll get to it, but I'm also unemployed right now, unlike you. But uh at one point, Bridget had come uh to an open mic, uh your brat's open mic, right after being let go. Yep. And then another friend of ours, uh, some corporate type shit, was like tossing them around, and I was like, oh my god, I want to do an episode with all my unemployed friends. Yep. But I'm so glad you're not unemployed. This is good, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_01

But um I remember that mic too, because I it was I got let go that day. That day, that day, went up on the stage and was like one of my jokes where I was like, it did feel like I was working in severance, but little did they know like I I said that um what did I say? Okay, the joke was that uh I was working in a place that did make it feel like I was working in Severance, the show, and when I got fired, they shot my innie, but little did they know she hung herself long ago. Which great joke.

SPEAKER_02

Uh very joke, no, but it's so good. It's and what a fucking awesome show. Yeah, so good. So good. I think at one point, Bridget had even um taken a really horrific video of like a cubicle they were trying to put you guys in. Yes. And my like, there was like no windows in the room, and you she's on her like Instagram being like LOL Severance, and I was like, no, that's like not LOL Severance, that's just like, oh my god, it's severance. Like it looked so I was like, do they give you a complimentary gun when you won't get the job so you can end it all just in case?

SPEAKER_01

You know, the second you start putting your split ends in the paper shredder, they have to pull you out just in case that you get skin on skin contact and it's very bad. But thank God they give me a window in my enclosure now, so I am really grateful for that. But yeah, it was very it was a it was hard to be fired, but it was also kind of easy because I was like, okay, bye. All of you have to live here, not me.

SPEAKER_02

It's what a fucking relief. That is so crazy. Well, I'm proud of you, and I'm happy and I'm so excited for your house and to see it eventually because yeah, you're um like really going at it. I mean, God, you have the keys for like a week and a half, and it looks like you've done your cabinets and you painted like every fucking room already.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, it's been like three weeks, I think, now, and I have been there almost every goddamn day. Just yeah, the the painting. I I went the Chip and Joanna Gaines DIY like 2008 vibe where I just took everything off. I was on the floor, like painting and sanding. I got a sander. I had a dream that I bought a circular saw, which is oh, I know. A girl can't dream. I woke up and I was like, I just got married, but I think I'm gay. Um, I'm dreaming of circular saws. I'm contemplating getting like an entire Milwaukee like new kit for like putting up different siding on my house. There's just so much that I've been thinking about having to do. And also the people who one thing they don't tell you about homeownership is that you are spending a lot of money to figure out that the person who owned the house is actually trying to deceit you. Like they are a jester, they have done all these little tips and tricks all over their home to try to make it so that it seems like a lot nicer than it is.

SPEAKER_02

No, I can't even imagine the bullshit and the duct tape.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, the inspection part is literally just how can I find the most amount of lies in this house? Oh my god. Yeah. And I we found some and some of them we were like willing to just figure out on our own later, which we already knew. But some of it I was like, What the hell is this? What is go what in the janky ass hell is this?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so is that something you guys went back on and you were like, fix this shit? For big things, yeah. Good, good.

SPEAKER_01

The big stuff we did get fixed, and then some of the smaller stuff, which seems smaller now, but you know, at the time I was like, uh, we'll just do that ourselves. Uh absolutely the hell not. I will be hiring somebody or it will be broken forever because this shit is expensive.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it adds up so quick. I'm like so lucky. My brothers and my dad are so handy. I texted my brother today. I was like, my shower's been leaking for a month, and he's like, Why are you just telling me now? I'm like, fix it.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, I've been bathing in the driplets.

SPEAKER_02

It's so weird. It's like a very obvious drip. Like my friends come over, they're like, your faucet's on. I'm like, no. It's just I've got used to it.

SPEAKER_01

That's my timer for when I need to use the bathroom. That's right. If it drips too much, that's when I know I gotta go. I need to change my diaper. Yep.

SPEAKER_02

Um, no, that's fucking crazy. Well, I'm excited to see it. Seems like you're crushing it. I'm trying. I even I think even on your Instagram the other day, you were like, you went to Lowe's or something asking about drill bits, and they're like, what kind do you need? You're like, just I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. Yeah. Like, I'm a girl. I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl lost in Lowe's. Just you know what, too, is that you know when you're in Lowe's or like a Home Depot and you're like going through the sections and you see other people. Like in the paint section, you'll see other people that kind of look like you or like they they might not know what's going on. And you know, they're trying to do the DIY thing. They're like, well, I'll just do the painting myself. It's the easiest thing to do. You start getting to the drill bits, you're getting into the guys who are like, you know, union workers who do this shit for fun. They're looking at drill bits like their cigarettes. They're ready to take one out. They want to light it, they want to go back to their home where they have their own garage and their own slab so that that that way they can go and put all their little bits and pieces together.

SPEAKER_02

And slab is a word you recently learned.

SPEAKER_01

Because I don't know what that means. I found out our house is on a concrete slab and I was like, okay, okay, hot. Okay, thanks. But yeah, just like it it is a lot, but yeah, that's when you start when you start going over the drill bits, like that is the guy's Sephora.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay, wait, I do love that. Yeah. That's what sucks, is like we feel so empowered in different stores. Like, if I take you to Marshall's and you're scared, hold my hand, we're gonna be in and out. But like when I do go to a Home Depot by myself, like we're just we're just gorgeous girls. We shouldn't be in here alone. So it's just like so fun. Like they just they clock you so fast. Oh, immediately. Yeah, they're like, what you looking for? And you're like, go cross-eyed.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, I don't know, Joe Bits. They're like, We saw you in the Barbie Crocs. We think that you might need some help. Oh god, is your husband dead?

SPEAKER_02

Is that it? No, you lost, sister. Oh god. No, it is um, I mean, I do feel really hot in a Home Depot. True. It's cool. Yeah. And then I feel stupider than hell. Um, that's great. Well, I guess um my personal beef is that my job burnt down April 12th.

SPEAKER_01

Won.

SPEAKER_02

I actually have an air horn. Why did I there she goes? Um, yeah, so uh I I don't think I have ever like named it specifically on here, but people know I work there and they're gonna murder me if they want. So who's to stop them? Um Thurman Cafe caught fire in April. And before we started recording today, I was filling Bridget in on a little bit of how I'm barely getting by.

SPEAKER_01

But getting by is the word. And Thurman is such a Columbus staple that I truly hope, and I know they'll eventually get back up and running, but I hope it's like sped up more than some of the others because of how much of a staple it is here in the city.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. No, it's been like honestly, such a like I know you were saying like it was an obvious blessing to get out of your hellhole habitat of hell. Yeah. Um, but like I kind of selfishly felt the same way, I think, in terms of like coming to terms with it. But I was there for the fire. It was a busy Sunday, and just like out of nowhere. We were like on an hour wait, and I smelled smoke. We all started smelling it. But yeah, there was like an electrical fire, and I feel like I've bored Bridget with this enough, but and I've talked about it plenty on online. But yeah, it was like, yeah, I was like, oh, this was low-key traumatic, and I couldn't sleep for a couple days, and then like kept having dreams that I had to go work a shift while the building was on fire.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, it's traumatic, and I'm so sorry that it happened.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's all dude, thank you. But like it's been um it's been beautiful. Like realizing the connections that I've made and the friends I've made, not only within my staff, but like the community. Like, I cannot tell you how many people I've like met over the bar that like are just coming to my shows now and supporting me in those ways and donating to the GoFundMe. So it's been like it's been hard, but I think I've also found like a deep, deep sense of community that not that I didn't realize was there before, but I didn't appreciate or understand as much.

SPEAKER_01

So not many people can say that they turned someone who came in for a weekly lunch of fried bologna into a comedy showgoer, which is truly a feat that only you can do.

SPEAKER_02

Everyone's like, How do you sell tickets? I'm like, people eat my meat, and then I go, you gotta come to my show. Um I have that privilege there. No, it but yeah, so it's been crazy, but um my beef has been um oh, and then I think right so right before the fire, personal life stuff, but I had gone to a doctor and finally got diagnosed ADHD. Yay! Which yay, but like it's like obviously, but then I finally got medicated. So it's kind of funny because during the fire, and I've of course been trying to write jokes about it, but during the fire, I'm so I was just newly medicated and like crushing it. Like you could not stop me or slow me down at that job. And I was like, ooh, gotta put this order in, gotta get him diet coke, they need another McAltra. And then I gotta find a fire. And it was just crazy the way my brain was working, and I was like adjusting to the meds. But anyway, I'm I was really efficient and I was very proud of how we got everyone out of there, and um, everyone was okay, but it was just it's very damaged and probably not opening until 2027, so rock on. But anyway, that's my beef, and nothing's really fun about it yet, but I'll write jokes about it. We'll get there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And I'm like I said, I'm really hoping that it opens up sooner rather than later. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. Yeah, it's gonna be so fun and so busy when we open back up, it'll be cute.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, you're gonna have everybody in there who's like, I saw you had a comedy show. I gotta come try Thurman's Cafe.

SPEAKER_02

Sit down and have a burger. Yeah. Um, no, it's great. So this is one that I wanted to bring up to you, but if you think of any beefs along the way, of course, um, feel free to just shout them out. But um I there's a restaurant right next to Thurman, and I wasn't sure if you heard about this, but I was like wanted to get your take on it. It's a really great restaurant, it's the German Village Coffee Shop. Oh, yeah. Incredible diner. Love that place. Um yeah, it's Craig. We got Shannon and Mark um over there that work there. But Mark and them were all working two weeks ago now, and a lady and her husband were dining in. She got a sandwich she didn't like, and she bear maced the place. Yep. What's your take on that? Have you ever thought about bear macing somebody because you didn't like your sandwich?

SPEAKER_01

After working in customer service, I can say this is the customer service final boss, but why? The fact that she brought it with her and was like, just in case. Why what what you what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

Like, I leave my city mace at my house on accident all the time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then I'm like walking somewhere alone. I'm like, fuck, gotta keep that thing on me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But bear mace? Yeah. I have no and I'm pretty sure bear mace looks different than like regular, you know, pepper spray. Pepper spray, you can listen, I'm cute.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, she's sweater inside of you.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. They have it in lavender, you know, and it most of the time if you buy it, it's bedazzled. Yep. So, but bear mace, I'm pretty sure it has like a crank on it. Like this lady had to have brought in her bag with her and had the bear mace in there. And the fact that she used it is insane because this place, if you haven't been, it's gorgeous. It's all wooden, it's much like Thurman. I'm pretty sure they're teeny, yeah. They're about the same layout. About yeah, about the same layout. A small place. You go, you can get, you know, a piece of ham, you know, from there, like a la carte. Very shishy.

SPEAKER_02

And it's also like so cheap. I like taking comics there from out of town. I'm like, no, no, no, it's on me because the total's $36. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Y'all ever seen a hot cake for a dollar before? No. No. Not in these days. Not in these days, dude. So that is such a bummer because I just hate the fact that now they have to worry about that shit.

SPEAKER_02

Like, and that's the thing, because they obviously I I saw them recently when we went to Thurman to do some cleaning, and um the staff's all outside, and we're I was like, How are you doing? And first of all, they were all like, Okay, first of all, bear mace, real painful.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, well, like 20 times more painful than regular mace, from what I hear, because it's supposed to be for bears.

SPEAKER_02

That's fucking right, dude. For wildlife, and what a monster for having that. But anyway, I was like asking them how they're doing and stuff, and they got away. Did they run out? They ran out. But the good news was they uh the guy left his credit card there.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, snagging that. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02

Snagging that they tracked her down in this past week. Well, we're recording a few weeks before June 5th, so give us a break. But um they got to go identify her in a lineup. I was so happy.

SPEAKER_01

Did they spray her with bear mace when they figured out? Oh my god. They were like, that's her pshh.

SPEAKER_02

And mark her with the bear mace, please. Oh my god. And why don't they let us do that?

SPEAKER_01

They should. They should. I so what's gonna happen then? Are they I mean, obviously they're gonna sue her, but is she going to jail for doing that?

SPEAKER_02

You should dude, I mean, I don't know what's gonna happen. I need to get some updates. I'll have to text them, but I've just been like, we've had customers yell at us. Yeah, we've had customers be so evil, but I've I've had a customer grab me a couple times. Yeah, but you just don't think about like how insane people could be. No, because that is like worst-case scenario type shit.

SPEAKER_01

But it that's insane for someone to bring it obviously any weapon, but even to bring something like that is absolutely insane.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and like you were saying, the space is so small. Like, I was wondering, like, did they fuck themselves up pretty good?

SPEAKER_01

Probably, and all the other customers who are there, which is so fucked because those are regulars, those are people who live in the area, those are a lot of them, from what I know, because they open so early. It's like people who have to go work on the job site. Oh shit. You know, it's people who like live on the south side who are like, This is my favorite coffee shop. I'm gonna come in and get my Maxwell house and my yeah, you know, breakfast sandwich and be on my way, but not anymore.

SPEAKER_02

I wonder how many I didn't even think about that because I'm wondering how many people had to call their boss that day or your their babysitter and be like, it's gonna be a minute. I just got bear maced at breakfast.

SPEAKER_01

They're like, um, no, prove it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, literally, it's like, okay, you made that up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, how fast? Like what? Who does that? But I hope this lady does end up either going to jail or has to pay back restitution for it. Because why would you ever do that?

SPEAKER_02

It's so fucked up. But anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think her husband and her are still together? I would immediately break up with her.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and like that's what I was wondering too. Like, what what because you don't just bear mace a place. Yeah. And and then have like a clean record before that. That bitch has thrown down in an Applebee's. Oh, absolutely. You know what I mean? And she reached for the bear mace that day, but she wasn't quite ready. So, like, what was she like shattering a beer bottle? Was she threatening the bartender? Like, I don't know. It's just like you don't it's like the same thing when you like murder somebody. It's like you were choking people before that. Anyway. This is Daiteline.

SPEAKER_01

And and this is why Yelp reviews just sometimes aren't enough for people. This lady probably got banned from Yelp and decided I'm gonna make my own way.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. She made her like truth social.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

She said, I'm going on, I'm going on signal real quick.

SPEAKER_02

Is that the right one? I don't know. I don't know. It sounds real to me. It's so stupid, but anyway, that's just on Bear Mace.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. That's all. God. I would feel so vindicated to pick her out in the lineup too. The second they walked out, it's her.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, I love it so much. And I what's the point of a lineup? Why can't they just be like, it's this bitch?

SPEAKER_01

I honestly I don't know. I think it's because the fact that all of them got probably it got in their face and maybe they couldn't remember. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, also that's so mean. Yeah. I didn't think about that. It's like she which which was these women blinded you? It's like kind of hard to fucking remember.

SPEAKER_00

I also wonder like her husband's like, Yeah, she just kind of does the things that she wants to do sometimes. You should have. Seen her at the Cheesecake Factory.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, yeah, what's his fucking story? Like, what else has he seen for real? And what does he put up with if she's bear macing strangers?

SPEAKER_01

I just know that they're the type of couple who got married to Buck Cherry crazy bitch.

SPEAKER_02

At Buckeye Lake. At Buckeye Lake, oh yeah. For sure. They had a papa boo's wedding. Fuck me, dude. Um, anyway, yeah, that's kind of a I just thought that was a wild, fun thing to talk about.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's absolutely. I hope I like I said, I hope that she gets w what she deserves, which is equal bear mace to her, and to be either put in jail for a bit or what, or fined, and you know, everyone gets money from her. But yeah, worth it. Hail. My beef right now is okay. So I am a self-acclaimed. I love to I love thrifting, I love vintage stuff, I love my little trinkets and DIY. I love to do that, but I have such a beef right now with DIY, it is crazy. Some of the things that I see people do online are truly insane and unhinged, and it turns out really well. But as I've been doing all these like DIY projects, and obviously not everyone's doing it in their like rental or anything, but if you are, that's crazy. Um, but I watch so many of those like aesthetic TikToks and like videos on reels about people like doing updates to their house.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so this is more like home renovation. Yeah, DIY type shit, for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Um, and my beef is like, this shit is hard as hell. This shit is so hard, it's so expensive. I've been trying to do it more on a budget, and it's insane how much it costs. And people do like a breakdown of the cost and all this stuff, but at some point when I was installing my cabinets, like back after I painted them, I started Googling like Thumbtack Handyman, help me, please. Yeah, is Thumbtack a like app? Yeah, you can hire like a handyman and stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, I'm just like, you know, I see people doing like electrical work and like changing stuff out like within their plumbing systems, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Have you ever been electrocuted?

SPEAKER_01

Have I no, but I probably will be soon because I'm gonna be installing my own electrical work.

SPEAKER_02

And I'll invite you back on the pod after that. Talk about it. I electrocuted myself once as a child. Oh my god. But I didn't I it was just like a simple thing. I was like fucking around with in the basement and my dad's and fell off a ladder and felt really weird. But anyway, um But that is so jittery. Yeah. Oh, I felt crazy. But um it's that's so scary. Yeah. I don't know if I like that or trust that.

SPEAKER_01

At the same time, though, I mean, they did listen, they approved me to get the house, so I'm gonna electrocute myself all I want in there. But oh my god, like a little rat in a cage. Pretty much. And I I guess I just feel like when people are like DIY is so easy, I feel like that kind of after getting a house and stuff and trying to do it on my own definitely comes from more of a place of privilege because holy shit, either a lot of those people have someone in their family or like a significant other who is a contractor or is like someone who enjoys doing handiwork. Not my man. My man is the opposite of handy. Jake's not handy? No, I mean, I will say we did a big step over the weekend, which was he did build an IKEA, uh, an IKEA calyx, which is like one of those cubes. That's enough for me. Yeah, and and that was enough for me for sure. But my God, I just Well, there's no more that needs done. The yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, he's not doing the electrical work. I probably will. But when I told my mother-in-law this, she goes, No, Bridget, please hire an electrician. And I go, You lost me at hire. That is not the vibe.

SPEAKER_02

I'm not trying to pimp out my dad, but he's very good at electric stuff if you get overwhelmed. And oh my god, I could drive him over because you're out. You don't have to say where right now on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01

Uh Werndeberg.

SPEAKER_02

We're close to we're close to where we grew up. You wanna you want to go back for a little visa? Heavens no, but I will for you. And I'll bring a fork. We can both poke the electrical holes together. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Also, Amber's gonna bring her dad. You guys, her dad is so hot.

SPEAKER_02

He is this is the word on the street. This is um nothing I've ever said. Uh, but yeah, every time I post a picture of my dad, um I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna point him out. The comedian girlies are like, hat dead.

SPEAKER_01

Yep, yep. I was like, your hat dad. You were posting about him on Mother's Day, and I was like, finally. After his birthday, I've been waiting to see him up on here.

SPEAKER_02

No, he's cutie. My dad's eyes are very pretty, I'll give him that. Yeah. He has one um brown and green eye and one brown and blue eye. Oh. And I was like, y'all used to clean up shop. And I saw the way he's talked to the waitresses at Hometown Buffet. There's no way he didn't fuck at least 10 of them.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you know, when you were also because Thurman's has been like in your family history for so long, because uh the the meats of Amber Folter's meats.

SPEAKER_02

And Bridget's doing a very casual plug for me right now, which I love. My family has always provided Thurman Cafe with their beef and bacon. So it does, there's an interesting like timeline of um my family always hanging out with that family, and I love it.

SPEAKER_01

I loved it. And you were posting like old photos from the 70s of them hanging out there, and I know that they're drunk in those photos.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, they're so drunk. My dad had like streamers tied around his neck, like they were a necktie.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was so cute though, them just having so much fun, like off the clock, just partying it up.

SPEAKER_02

They were really dreamy photos, and shout out to Amanda Sikluski for finding those and sending them to me. I'd never seen them before. Oh, really? Yeah, and it was after the fire, she was like being nostalgic, and she obviously that's her family's um business. So yeah, she's so lovely. And she was like, Have you seen these? I was like, What? No, I've not seen my dad drunk on a bar top holding a pickle.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you for that. They were so cute, and I I absolutely love them, and I was just it was very, a very cute and smitten photo.

SPEAKER_02

No, I I'm glad you're bringing that up because I will put those in our post for this episode because they were so fun. But um, okay, so DIY though. Like I know you're like, um is there like the phrase you said earlier, you're like, it's so simple, anyone can do it. Yeah. I kind of have beef with that too, because there's so many even just projects or sewing things I try to do or stained glass type things I try to do. And I I like when people are honest with me about the actual fucking struggles of the projects. Yeah. And I feel like they, for safety reasons, especially with that kind of stuff and home renovation, be a little bit more fucking forward. Yeah. Tell me if you've cut yourself or they hey, actually, I learned the hard way, you're gonna want to wear a glove. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, okay. So you were when you were doing stained glass, this is another thing. So when you're doing stained glass and you cut your piece and you're sanding it, right? You're sanding it. The glass, right? Okay, yes. So you can sand it, but then when you see other people do it online, I see them use the water wheel or they're gonna use it to sand it, and it's like, I can't fucking afford that. That's why I picked up stained glass, it's because it's supposed to be cheap. As a as a hobby? As a hobby, yes.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And so there's like all this stuff that like people don't factor in, or if I'm like watching someone like help, like, I'm gonna renovate my closet and install these like IKEA systems for my closet, and then they're uh like installing them and measuring and etc. etc. But they're not, you know, putting in the fact that they have somebody who is a handy person on them. Meanwhile, my shit's crooked. You come up to my cabinets. I mean, don't look too long, you know, to the naked eye, it might be fine. Yeah, otherwise, it's it's not as good as it looks online always. And I've spent so much time on it. I guess maybe I should, you know, the some some stuff I just maybe should have done more research on, but at the same time, they don't make it seem that way online. And I've even tried using, I regrettably, um, was like typing in because I got some hinges from Amazon or something. Uh-huh. And I was like, okay, these are standard hinges, wanted to replace these ones on this cabinet, and they have like an AI component. And I was like, what type of drill should I use for this? And so they told me to go get one. This is the very sexy part of the podcast for people who are very into Home Depot and Lowe's. Um, but yeah, they said, okay, so get a one-eighth drill bit. So I went and I got one, but just in case I got one that was a little bit bigger because I was kind of concerned that it wasn't gonna be big enough. Yeah. And lo and behold, AI was wrong. So I luckily used my larger drill bit for it, but I was like, this is exactly why this shit sucks.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and then it's yeah, especially with the AI stuff now, because as much as you don't want to rely on it, when you're trying to Google something just for a quick fucking answer and you get the AI overview, it pisses me off. I'd be looking at it, dude. I know it's right there, yeah. And it's the it's like wants you to just go with that. And sometimes if you just scroll down and click on a real fucking article, it's like I would never suggest that. And you're like, oh. But then even with those DIY projects, like you're saying, like, even not just knowing a handy person, but being like, oh, and of course, this is simply done with this tool that costs $300, and you're like, yo, I don't have that. Yep. Not everybody has that. In fact, a few years ago when my house was broken into, all my tools were stolen out of my shed. No. Yeah, they dumped out my duffel bag that I thrifted that was so cute, that was full of all my roller skating gear, and I just watched this motherfucker on the security cameras after the fact filling up my duffel bag with all of my tools. Oh my god, no. Sure, most of them were my ex-boyfriends, but I still got those from him for free. And I don't want to spend the money or date somebody again for their tools.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. No, those are your those are your tools now. Those are they were.

SPEAKER_02

The ones that remain are still mine, so shout out my ex. Thanks for that. God. Good for nothing. Um, but what else was I gonna say on that uh it's okay, we can always edit this part out.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah. It's not really a a a a huge beef. It's obviously more of like a I wish I was more handy beef. But no, and you just want it to be livable, so you're not living there yet. No, we're going to be within the next couple weeks because oh my god, lease is up. Tell me. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I'd also we do need to mention what was the main issue at your old house.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I I have updates about this that you don't know about.

SPEAKER_02

Yay!

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so Bridget's current home that we're renting. The current home that I am renting, you guys, I'm gonna take you on a quick journey real quick. So renting Gorgina home in a very cutesy part of town, and our rent was a little bit higher, but you know, still doable. And we got this house, it's a Cape Cod house, very cute. The owner of the home, she is a realtor, and so she fixed up the home herself. Uh, she lived there with like her two kids and boyfriend at the time. Became too small for her, valid. It is a tiny house. And uh she moved away and she started renting uh it out to people, and we were her first tenants, my husband and I. Okay. So it's me, my Doug, and my man, and we're living there. So first year is fine. Second year, uh, there is a lot of construction on the roads in front of the house because uh where I'm living is a neighborhood where they still have septic tanks. So these are like some older homes. There's a lot of homes in this part of town of Columbus that are just like more historic, but not too historic, that they don't have AC, just like their plumbing just isn't up to code. So anyway, the city is doing construction on this road. The there's three roads where I'm at, and they're doing construction to basically lay the groundwork to integrate the sewers, which are going to be happening uh in June of this year.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Supposedly. Oh. Supposedly. So in 2024, I am texting her, hey, um, just so you know, they're doing construction out in front of the house. She goes, Okay, cool. If anything happens, let me know.

SPEAKER_02

Does she not live in Columbus?

SPEAKER_01

Apparently, she well, she like lives nearby, but I think in a more rural part of Columbus.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so she's not something she would like be nearby and see, but no, you're just letting her know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And you know, everything with the house was going fine until uh this construction went on for about six months. It was crazy long. We ended up negotiating our rent that year. Uh so the construction happened like toward the summer, uh like into the winter, and then our lease was up in in March. So we negotiated our rent to be the same. So we stayed there because the construction was just so annoying. It was going on and on and on and on. So right outside your home, too. Right outside our house. Just the traffic and being late for everything and trying to get home. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I hate it.

SPEAKER_01

So, you know, pulled a little bit of a flex, did that, and she said she said, Yeah, okay, no worries. You guys are good tenants, et cetera, et cetera. Um, and everything's going well, and then all of a sudden, my washing machine in the laundry room starts to fill up with some kind of dirty water, you know, just like not like super dirty, but it looks like it just either like got backed up with like some rain water. Okay, no problem. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

I did not know this part of the story. I did not know it started in your fucking washer.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's where it starts because it's in the basement. So my God. That starts, you know, she says, hey, just you know, there's like a drain button, okay. So we're doing that. Start letting letting her know like when things are starting to act up. So uh this starts, and then within the next six months, it goes from the washing machine is like filling up with water to now the pipe behind the washing machine is actually spewing up water. So now, so now that's happening. So uh we we stopped doing laundry. So we stop doing laundry, we don't use the washer and dryer anymore. Because every time we do, the water starts shooting up. Okay, fine. So that starts. Um then do you start using a laundromat? Yes. We start so annoying. I know, yeah. And but you know, we're like, okay, negotiated the rent, we'll use the extra, we're gonna go to the laundromat, it's gonna be fine. So we start doing that. Then within the next few months, and mind you, every time something's happening, I am texting her, letting her know what's going on. Sure. Then within the next couple months, every time that we use the dishwasher upstairs, water is spewing from in the back of the basement where that water was going up. And then, okay, I guess we'll just do hand washing. So, you know, we stop using the dishwasher and then we move on. Then we start noticing if you take a shower too long, water in by too long, I mean five minutes. What? Yeah, it eventually gets down to like five minutes, and we are one person is hopping in the shower, one person is running downstairs and running back upstairs to let them know that the water is spewing everywhere. Mind you, there's electrical work in the back. Like there's plugs and shit, like everywhere. That's good. Plugs and the water all over it. Yeah. And then it starts to get mildewy, and then Sounds like you're living in a dorm at this point. So I'm just gonna point that out. Yeah. So obviously it's very soggy and it's like kind of stinky a little bit, like like stinky water because of all of the, you know, uh like condensation, all that stuff is going on. So it's starting to get a little mildewy. Mildewy, yeah. Yeah. So then that that's like when things get really bad.

SPEAKER_02

And at this point, you're dealing with this for like four, five, six months.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yeah. So, you know, I'm showering more like we'll go to Planet Fitness and it's like, hey, let's hit the showers, you know. We're starting to like live in a way that no one should live if you're paying rent. Yeah, all your amenities are gone. Yeah. Yeah, you're squatting. Yeah, pretty much. And uh the thing that happens next is that now, whenever you use the shower at all, uh now waste is coming up. So if you your shower head, no, not through the shower head, through the basement in the back. Oh so someone's taking a shower, one person is running downstairs, all of a sudden I see that there's uh toilet paper coming up through the pipe. And I uh start freaking out. I'm freaking out. There's toilet paper coming up, and then there's poop, literal poop coming up from the pipe from the back of the launder, from the back of the like the uh washer and dryer, the pipe that's like connected. So that starts coming up.

SPEAKER_02

I've been holding my breath for like 20 seconds, dude.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, and at this point, we had been telling her, hey, there's something wrong with our septic tanks, and she had sent out like a septic person a couple times. So they ended up um, they ended up like draining it.

SPEAKER_02

The septic person is so funny, and I'm picturing Josh Waddle as the worst character.

SPEAKER_01

It's truly like an old guy who's like, Yeah, I love septic tanks.

SPEAKER_00

People don't use them and utilize them enough.

SPEAKER_01

But just one guy who's really against integrated sewers. For sure. So we've had this guy come out, and before the poop starts coming up through the pipes, he comes by, he drains the septic tank, and then he comes back the next week because it fills up again. That is like your number one like no-no. You're supposed to drain it every two years. Okay. So then um Did you learn all this once this was happening? Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, again, because I was like, Yeah, of unfortunately, but I was also like, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. But it's just a tank that's full of shit and piss. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So when I tell you the amount of times that my husband has said the words piss trap, and I cannot hear it now without going into fight or flight. Oh no. Because in the winter, if you have a septic tank and you smell something kind of funky in your house, it's because the pea traps froze and there's no water in the pea traps. And he would explain this to me every time I walked into the house and I'd be like, What's that smell? And he'd be like, Well, the pea traps. I'm like, I don't want to hear any more about this. Wait, so like a normal working septic tank. Sometimes that can happen in your house. A normal working one. Okay. Oh my god. Ours was working a little bit over time. Um so now we can't we can't wash our selves, we can't wash our clothes, we can't use the dishwasher, and um, we're only washing like we only are using the toilet basically, and we're like washing our hands, like our fingies for like a a couple seconds. Did you feel kind of like gross eating and cooking at this time? Oh, disgusting. Disgusting. Because the worst part about it is like once the shit is coming up through the pipes, the worst part about that is that no matter what it is that you do, um, you're gonna notice, like, as soon as I was like, well, I have to use the bathroom, but I don't want to like flush because I don't want it to come up through the pipes in the basement. Do you know what it's like to pay rent and have your husband piss outside? Oh my god, because your landlord won't do anything about it. So she was pretty use useless. Yeah. And at this point, and I have some videos on my phone. There was a one point I was I was like, fuck this. I'm showering. I'm showering, I'm like mid-wash, and I hear because you can hear it like spew up from the basement. I run downstairs naked with my phone. Yeah. I'm in the basement, barefoot, completely trying to feel clean. Trying to feel clean, completely naked, wet, like taking a video, yelling, what the fuck? There's shit flying up into like the ceiling of our basement. It's disgusting. So all because you took a shower. Yeah, all because I took a shower. And then um it's at this point that we're like, hey, if you don't call someone to come fix this, like I'm calling the health, like the health department. So we had been asking her after every instance to come and fix it, and she was like, I will, like, we'll see, like Rotorooter, like that's the company that was coming to do it. Um, I was like, no, no, no, like they're not here for a quick fix. Like, you have to ex- They had to excavate the front yard where the subject tanks were. Okay. There was a pipe that was like crushed from the construction. So it was backing everything up into our house.

SPEAKER_02

Is that kind of something the city has to deal with then?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but that's not my problem. If I'm wranting, dude. Yeah. So, you know, the health department comes, uh, this is basically all of 2025 for you.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Yeah, this is within 2024. Yeah. And you're being so like, honestly, if you guys do not know Bridget personally, Bridget and Jake are some of the best people. They are so accommodating, you are so sweet, you're so fucking patient. But like, it's just so annoying to me that this didn't happen to some like asshole who would call her that day and be like, I will ruin your life if you do not fix the poop that is flying out of my basement.

SPEAKER_01

Mind you, this is from from the time that we had this issue, which was say this was March, because we we wanted to stay at the house. So we our rent started for the next year in uh that April. So from March until when we finally got the excavation done, which was in October.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Think about all the poop and piss that has been backed up into my basement. It's truly horrific. No. At one point, the smell, and mind you, the smell, like in the summer, too, like if it wasn't too hot, we would open the windows and like we would air it out during the day. So we would air it out, go to work, come back, close the windows, and be trapped in the our own jank um, basically, throughout the throughout the night. And uh the smell got so bad by the time the health department came by. The health department guy who was doing our inspection said it's unsafe for you to live here. He said the smell is overwhelming. There's poop particles basically. Being circulated throughout the house. You guys have to go.

SPEAKER_02

Of course.

SPEAKER_01

So we leave for a week and a half or something, or like two weeks. We stay at my um like at Jake's parents, or that's my husband's name, but um his uh his parents' house. Uh-huh. So we're there for like two weeks, and she finally says, Okay, like I'll get someone to fix it. So thank God they fixed it, but you know, we're traumatized now, which is why we are like, you know what, we're not staying here another year. Because he wanted to stay. He was like, we should stay another year and save up. And I'm like, I'm not staying here. Save up for what? It's it's now or never, fuck it.

SPEAKER_02

The economy's getting worse. Let's just buy a fucking house. Yeah. Good for you. That's so to live in that for a whole fucking year. Yeah. So did you yourself call the health department? Yes. Okay, good for you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh my god. Um, another part of the story though that I haven't told you, or maybe I have. So that happens, everything's going well. Because they replaced it, excavated. Yeah, they excavated, everything's okay. And then But all the cleaning falls on you guys. Well, she had to get someone who like would clean the basement because it's like excrement and waste. And the guy who cleaned it said, This is the worst he had seen in quite a while. So that's how you know how it was bad. Because we they left all their equipment there for a week. Like giant fan, taped it off. Like oh my god. The shit smell was so bad that it was there for over a week. And he, when he left, he goes, By the way, do not use that washer and dryer. And she had just bought it before we had left. No.

SPEAKER_02

And have you not been doing laundry the whole time there?

SPEAKER_01

Not there. Hell no. Fuck. It's so annoying. So from there, and that was in October. So, you know, a couple months go by, everything's whatever. Um, about a month and a half later, maybe, we get a knock on the door, and it's the guys who excavated asking for our landlord. And we're like, uh no, she doesn't live here. Like, we're her tenants, and they're like, Okay, well, you know, like we give the info and everything, and they go on their way. They come back again and they start banging on the door, and then mail starts coming in. She has not paid these guys, so she is like not, yeah, she's not paying these guys. And uh it got to the point to where like we started getting like letters to her, and we told her, like, you gotta come get this stuff. Like, hey, this looks important. Yeah, this looks kind of important. You might you might want to do this. Um There's a lot of people very mad at you. And she doesn't. She's like, Oh, I'll come get it some other time.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, Where is this bitch?

SPEAKER_01

I have no idea. Have you ever met her to her face? Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02

I have, but the thing is you can pick her out of the lineup if we have to. I mean we can bear mace a hoe if we have to.

SPEAKER_01

Where's the bear mace when you need it?

SPEAKER_02

Um honestly, we should just start bringing some around.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

In case we don't like our poopy house or a sandwich.

unknown

God.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, every once in a while, too, like, it still stinks in there too. And like the fact that that went on for so long is not a good idea to like for for homeownership, period.

SPEAKER_02

No. And honestly, I was just thinking when you said the people that came through were like, this is the worst I've seen. It's so sad that you guys endured that for so long. But like, it is those professionals coming through and these people coming through that kind of probably give you a lot of validation. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because maybe you're like, Am I being crazy? Like, it's if it's if it's is it not that big of a deal kind of thing? Or like, yeah, should I be doing something DIY clean Um Hey guys, it's super simple. Clean your own septic tank. Follow along. DIY, my piece of shit basement. Uh how to repurpose the shit that you pooped out into a project.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, it's it was so nasty.

SPEAKER_02

So this bitch like on the run right now.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it gets worse. Oh my god. So she so obviously, like, okay, she's not paying the excavation team. Okay, whatever, not my problem. I did tell her too, I was like, it because the city messed it up, like it will probably take a while, much like Thurman's with like the insurance. It's gonna take forever, but you can have them pay you or pay this off if you end up like taking it to court or whatever. Whatever, not my problem. So time goes on. We tell her, hey, we're moving. Hey, ding ding ding. This is the time for us to leave. You're like, this should not surprise you. Yeah. Oh my god. So we go month to month because we told her, like, we don't know exactly when we're gonna get the house or like what the time looks like. And she goes, Okay, I'm actually thinking about I'm thinking about selling the property, and I wanted to wanted to offer it to you guys first. And we were like, Absolutely not, absolutely not. We will not be taking this.

SPEAKER_02

This turd-covered fucking excuse for a house.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So we were her first and last tenants, basically. Um and from there, we're like, you know, like, thank you for the offer, no, thank you. Like, we're gonna go somewhere else, so that's all fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_02

We're gonna try to find a place that doesn't have uh piss and shit everywhere, if you don't mind.

SPEAKER_01

Would like it for for it to stay in the toilet. Oh my god. And then um, you know, my husband's working at home, and all of a sudden the sheriff comes to our house. He starts knocking at the door, and uh he's like freaked out.

SPEAKER_02

Is it the shit sheriff?

SPEAKER_01

It should be, but he goes, he goes, Hey, well, one, she got she or he, whoever the landlord is, uh, got served with papers because they're being sued for the excavation, basically. There it's like a Because she didn't pay it. Yeah, yeah. So, but then the sheriff comes and the sheriff has nothing to do with that. So he knocks on the on the door and he goes, Yeah, the person who owns this house has not been paying the mortgage. And was like, So are you that person? And we're like, No, we're the tenants. And um, it's at that point that I realized too, after buying a house, they give you about so for one, if your payment, it's not like with rent, like if your payment is due on the first, you have until like two weeks after, and it won't be considered late. Okay. But if the sheriff is coming to your house to look for you, that is like at least four or five months worth of back payment that you are missing.

SPEAKER_02

My God.

SPEAKER_01

So that happened, and on top of that, we had a rent increase from there, from like our re-signing for the last couple months or whatever that we're at this place. So I'm like, what is going on? This place is cursed. Our landlord is terrible. I have no idea what the hell is happening here, and I am so happy to be out of there because at this point I think they're gonna either well, one, I don't know what's gonna happen to the house, they're probably gonna just, you know, put it up for auction or something.

SPEAKER_02

I just picture them literally blowing it up like an old like cartoon where they hit the like lever.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, like a wily coyote. Yes, thank you for knowing the thing I was trying to think of. Dude, they should because my god, this thing is falling apart. It is falling apart. Another DIY thing, the first week we moved in, I remember going out with my dog in the backyard and I saw a dead raccoon. Uh it was either a dead raccoon or a uh dead possum. Oh and I was like, oh, there's a possum in the back, but he might be playing dead. Uh, if you want to like call animal control to like come get it. And then I just see my landlord pulling up. Uh she was like, she was like, Yeah, like if there's you know some animal, I can just like go get it. And I see her putting it in literally like an old Kruger bag, and I'm like, this is not the time for DIY!

SPEAKER_02

Wait, her her so she shows up to pick up roadkill but not fucking deal with the poop.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I hate her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And what okay, so you're like, what the fuck is she doing with her life? I have no idea. I have no idea. But like I said, I I cannot, I cannot imagine this place even being available. Like, I don't know, I truly do not know if it's even a place that will be considered to be livable because of the fact that there is so much with it that has gone wrong.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I have no idea, dude. And I'm so glad to be out of it. Holy shit. Thank you for listening to that saga. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02

The the whole saga is crazy, and I guarantee it's gonna be like really relatable for other renters and stuff. And that's a great thing to have beef with. And I didn't want to like bully you into talking about the rent the the whole situation and stuff, but I think it's like fucking fascinating and it makes me irate.

SPEAKER_01

Literal, literal poop with toilet paper was coming up through the basement. It was so bad.

SPEAKER_02

Disgusting. This is one quick little story about my dad because he's such a self-taught electrician, plumber, all these things, and we run the meat packing plant, correct? So my dad is it's just all he's known, it's all he's done his whole life since he's 15. So there's a story like a couple summers ago. Here at the meat plant, we were having issues with our um facilities and our plumbing, blah blah blah. So these guys come out to handle some of this like plumbing type shit. But my dad knows his way around this place, he's fixed everything himself. Yeah, he wants to try to DIY it before he calls anybody. And funny enough, I asked him years ago when we were fixing something in my car that seemed impossible. I go, How do you know how to do all this stuff? And he's like, Amber, YouTube is an amazing place.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, YouTube is truly where most people find out how to do stuff, and I need to I need to utilize it a bit more, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we yeah, but it was just funny to me. I was like, Oh, you didn't like learn this in a class. But I guess these plumbing people were coming through dealing with some septic type shit for real. God damn it. And my dad thought they were done because they went on lunch, so they left. And my dad was like, Cool, I'm gonna pop open this like little pipe that they were supposed to be clearing out.

SPEAKER_01

I got it from here.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, Look, listen here, Mario brother. You know, so my brother, my dad pops it open, and then my brother hears him screaming, and they had not like closed the valve off. It was like so anyway, my dad opened basically a shit tunnel. No, it started getting blasted with shit. Oh my god. And couldn't close it, and so he's screaming, and my brother had to help him close it. But my dad was like, they sent like a video or something, but my dad looked it looked like a movie, like he was just covered like in fudge.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, head to toe covered in shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but like just knowing that image and thinking about like the relentlessness of like your your septic tank backing up and doing that to your house over and over and over again. Like, oh my god. But yeah, my dad was like just covered in all of his friends' piss and shit.

SPEAKER_01

My god, what a true friend.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. And honestly, but like that's also like that thing where it's like don't DIY if the professionals are here.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

They were like, no, we went to lunch, we did not turn that off. Oh my god, you covered yourself in shit.

SPEAKER_01

The worst part about it was eventually after getting married, and people were like, Oh, what's like the next step for you? And we're like, we're actually trying to buy a house, and no joke, every single person, because I put this like saga on my Instagram story and it captivated a lot of people for some reason because it probably has to do with piss and shit, but you know, whatever, we're all five. And but I remember like uh knowing when I posted that uh months ago, but every time I told someone like we're really excited, we're gonna buy a house, they're like, Oh my god, you're finally gonna be out of the poop house.

SPEAKER_02

The poop house is really the name of it.

SPEAKER_01

It cannot be on me to stay at a place that is called the poop house TM trademarked. That's crazy. I had to get out of there. And I kept I kept telling my husband, I'm like, has anyone asked you like if you're gonna stay at the quote unquote poop house? He goes, Every single person. We have to get out of here.

SPEAKER_02

I'm glad he's finally on board and you guys are I'm so proud of you for getting like a house that that's crazy. Like I don't even know how that happens, but I honestly have no idea.

SPEAKER_01

I think they I don't know what it is, but yeah, they thankfully they accepted us and now it's ours. So I love it. Me too. I'm so happy about it.

SPEAKER_02

On that note, I had this thought earlier. So let's say you get settled in the new house. Um, would you rather, now that you've dealt with it, the um poop start filling your basement up or it be haunted by like a bunch of like creepy children?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

Um, because both would make me crazy. I mean, it's that's a tough one, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, kind of a Sophie's choice there. Uh kind of depends, because poopy stinky ghosts don't smell that bad. No, and I have I feel like I have such a like trauma response to like when a bathroom smells bad now that I'm scared and I have to run to the basement anyway. Oh no, to be to be greeted by some creepy children wouldn't be the worst thing.

SPEAKER_02

You're like, you're gonna at least go away eventually.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, or help. Grab a wrench, kid. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, they probably have a little bucket, they probably all died being neglected anyway.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, DIY, do it yourself. Do it with these haunted ass kids. They're gonna pick up orphan and they're just eager to please. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god, I love it. They definitely have some sort of blue-collar skill if they're haunting the home. Maybe these are the handymen you've been looking for.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Maybe you should be hoping and praying that your house is haunted with little handymen, little underage handy boys.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, child labor laws do not apply. That sounds great. Oh my god, I love that so much. How much could it possibly cost? A nickel? Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

I bet they're cheap.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, get them on board. Oh my god, it's not even Angie's list. They're like, what's Angie's list? You just hire me for a popsicle.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, perfect. That's beautiful. Yeah, I truly hope. I truly hope uh that things get better um for for that home once we leave. But my god, so don't buy it. You can you can DM me if you're like looking for a house. Yeah, and it comes up on Zillow. Do not buy. Do not buy.

SPEAKER_02

Christ. Um, what else did I want to say? Uh, thank you so much for doing this episode with me. Yeah, of course. I loved it. I am always so happy to talk with you. Um, I'll have you back if you're interested. Absolutely. Cool. Okay, and we can keep updated. But I did want to ask one question. So this is kind of a throwback to our first episode. Yeah. During our last episode, which was literally last year, which is crazy, um, there was one thing that we talked about a little bit and I wanted to follow up. Yeah, maybe, maybe it's mean, maybe it's not, but it's also kind of a thing for myself. We talked a little bit about boundaries with our schedules. How do you feel? How do you feel about how far you've come in this like eight, nine months? Do you feel like you're a little bit better with your boundaries? Are you feeling a little bit more rested, a little bit more bridget? Are you on your path that you want to be on?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. I would say it's a little give and take. Yeah. Because I wanted to be more mindful with like what I was doing comedy-wise.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I have for sure, especially towards like the last couple months, because I was like, I gotta I have a wedding I need to plan. I have to be at my wedding, turns out, you guys.

SPEAKER_02

Which this bitch was doing so much leading up to her wedding. I was like, you know, you're getting married soon. But the bar show. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, okay, girl, go off. She's tagging people in this like bar. I'm like, you get married tomorrow, but okay, I should yeah, have a have a do a show for 15 bucks.

SPEAKER_01

Listen, I had I had to do what I had to do. And she did, but you're so good at it, and I I can't blame you, so but I have taken more of the boundaries that I had into consideration, and like I've been I was blocking off more weekends at that point. Yes. Um currently have most of my May free kind of kind of just happen that way, but also, you know, I'm not too upset about that. Yeah. Uh really house to Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

To live in that's not full of shit. You've got a washing machine you can probably use.

SPEAKER_01

True. Right? Yeah. I can use it for now. Um but yeah, definitely way better with my boundaries, I think. Um another thing that I was trying to do back then was to be more intentional about what I was doing, and I think I've done a good job at that.

SPEAKER_02

So that's been really good. And on that note, I feel like in terms of the shows, you are saying yes to. Bridget has been doing you did like a comedy festival. Yeah. Right after your wedding. And I think you have maybe more coming up. Or is that the one?

SPEAKER_01

I that was the one, unless I get into some of the other ones that I'm gonna apply to, but like, yeah, I I realized I'm like, oh, I actually have done enough. I've done enough. I don't need to do too much. Yeah. And then you got to go on the road with Amber Autry, which is lovely. Yes, that was honestly so much fun. And I'm gonna be with her when she comes to Ohio too for a couple weekends. Yes. And it's been really nice and really chill. I really haven't been putting out as much like of my own shit since being on the road there because I'm like, that's enough. That's good for me.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. No, and I can tell that she adores you, and it's I just can't think of a better fit, and it makes me so happy. And all the Columbus girlies are like so proud of you and so happy, but oh, that makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_01

It's no, we mean it. I really put my whole pussy in that because I it's a really it was a really it's a really big deal.

SPEAKER_02

So it's a huge deal. This girl does not not sell out shows. Yes, exactly. So like what an honor. And it, yeah, it just seems like a very good thing for you, and I'm glad it's been like a reoccurring incident. So I wanted to brag about that a little bit. But yeah, thank you. It's so sweet.

SPEAKER_01

And you're you're doing so many shows too. More than I am for some people who don't know, because Amber has taken some time off before in the past.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, I'm so annoying.

SPEAKER_01

But I would so annoying. I feel like you're on like such a upswing. And I know the fire obviously is terrible, but also knowing that you're able to do some of the things that you're really freaking good at, like being hilarious and doing cool things like this podcast are in your favor now. So look at you being miscreative.

SPEAKER_02

No, and it was I'm I feel like very lucky that once the fire happened, I kind of put out like a little bit of a nudge to our homies, and I was like, Look, I've got a lot of free time. And I've not, I know you're the same person, but we don't like having free time because we gotta stay busy. I think it's good for our menti health, like all that shit. So, like I'm very, very like lucky that we have so many great friends that have like been putting me on shows and like even paying me and stuff. And hashtag comedy club shout out, they've been really good to me in terms of not letting me starve to death. So I'm not even fucking kidding. I have not looked at that timer this whole time. Bridget, the numbers I keep seeing since this fire, 111. Ooh. Constantly. I have looked at the timer just now at exactly 111.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. My what the hell? My new boss actually told me that uh 111 and well, 1111, her kid was born on 1111. And so when it turned to be 111 today, she made a note for all of us to take a breath.

SPEAKER_02

Oh wait. So we like our new job. I love that. That was your new boss? Yeah. Oh, what a cutie girl.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but that's so crazy that you said that too. So kind of I low-key just freaked out when I looked at the timer and I was like about to scream.

SPEAKER_02

I was so excited because I was smoking.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so the number of the day is 111.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I love it. Well, I know it definitely means something along along the lines of like being on the right path and stuff. So how weirdly serendipitous that it did it right then when we're talking about our paths and comedy and shit in our lives. But yeah, I'm always honored to hang out with you and spend time with you. And especially now that I'm so severely unemployed and just gonna cosplay that I'm a comedian for the summer and for the rest of the year until I have a job again. Um, I would love to have you back. Would love to. This was so fun. Yeah, we'll yap it up and catch up soon. But um, Bridget, it's been a pleasure. I love you. Thank you. Love you so much. Thank you. Bye guys. Bye.