Bringing Your Whole Self: How Showing Up As ALL of You Drives Your Impact

Bryce and Liz have a convo that starts as a catch up and delves into EVERYTHING going on in their lives currently, which begs the question...can we really show up anywhere without ALL of us present in some way??

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About Liz McKean: Liz is a hypnotherapist, yoga teacher, and creator of spaces where people can unshame their coping tools and finally feel better.

About Bryce The Third: When it comes to the most authentic and impactful voices rising out of Detroit, Michigan, Bryce The Third is a name you can’t afford to leave out. Not just an artist, he’s an emotional engineer with a live show that a mix of performance art, storytelling, high level lyricism and community building. Not only does Bryce have a story to tell, when you witness it, you’ll wanna tell yours 

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More about Liz → lizmckean.com

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Follow Bryce on Instagram → @brycethethird

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What up, my friends, and welcome to the Friend Lab. We're your host and good friends, Bryce the Third.

SPEAKER_05 0:04

And Liz McKean. And if you're here, you're here to cook up some friendship.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

We know that it's hard to make friends, and it could be a challenge to keep friends and be a friend. So building connections in your life is something that you're looking to get better at. You're in the right place.

SPEAKER_05 0:17

Friendship and connection and relationships of all kinds are the best kind of challenge. It's the thing that makes being a person worth being a person. We're excited to share our friendship with you.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

What up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Friend Lab Podcast. We are your host, Bryce the Third, Liz McKean. And that's a wrap.

SPEAKER_06 0:43

Nice talking to you, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

What's up, Liz? How you feeling?

SPEAKER_06 0:50

I am feeling I am feeling a lot of things. So many that I don't think I have great words for how I'm feeling. Yeah, it's been a grip.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

It's been a grip since we've been in the stove.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Cooking up. I wonder what it is. Why is that?

SPEAKER_06 1:15

Um, you mean like scheduling wise? Because it was it was scheduling wise.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

I mean, yeah, that's the boring answer. Well, I know.

SPEAKER_06 1:23

That's why I'm like, I don't really know what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

What has been on our schedules that has had us to the point where we haven't been able to cook up new episodes? Cook up some friendship.

SPEAKER_06 1:34

I will say for me, last week I was in Tampa. Um, and yeah, traveling, didn't know what my wife I was gonna be, didn't want to pack microphones, etc. And um, yeah, so I was traveling. And then for you, I'll let you fill in that blank the previous week because we each had our own week of shit in the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Yeah, I was just a black man in the world.

SPEAKER_06 1:58

It's a busy, so it's a hard job. Somebody's gotta do it.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

For real, for real. Nah, uh this past weekend or this past week or what we would normally be recording. I was in Pittsburgh at the NFL draft. They called me out to create a meditation space with DeMar Hamlin, and that was pretty dope. It was a quick one.

SPEAKER_04 2:21

I know who that is.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Do you now?

SPEAKER_06 2:24

Yeah. You know who that is because he's a Buffalo Bill, and my husband and whole family are the biggest Bills fan. And he like almost died in the middle of a game and became like the absolute sweetheart of all of Rochester and Buffalo and beyond, and has done incredible work for people since then, which you you can speak to, I'm sure, much better than I can. And he was on a Hallmark movie because of all that.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

He was on a Hallmark movie too. That's how you know that Leez knows who exactly he is.

SPEAKER_07 2:54

It's a big deal. It was all, I mean, Billy was excited too. So, anyways, continue.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

This is very tell, bro, is a really good dude that he he used his influence to because really and truly, like the people who were in the room were only there because they wanted to see Damar Hamlin. I mean, so much so, like uh we did a a bit of promotion before him, but you you you know how that goes. Eventually, though, what ended up happening was we were bringing people in off the street, like, hey, you want to see Damar Hamlin? If people were like, Yeah, I'm at the NFL draft, but of course I want to meet this guy. And so they were coming in. So we had a good 50, 50 to 60 people in there. They're just like, okay, where's Damar Hamlin? And then from that, that's the room of which I was tasked with getting them to sit uh in meditation practice. And I think, well, I don't know, I ain't never been any type of meditation teacher, but I know the meditation teachers I've practiced with that can make me feel like I you're trying to shoehorn this thing, we'll like kick into meditation teacher mode.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

And it's like, you know, now we'll sit in equanimity and we'll sit in peace and we'll be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

And I'm like, hey, I'm like, dude, you probably like, what the fuck is going on? You know, I was I came to the NFL draft from wherever in the country I came from there to, and I'm walking down the street, and somebody snatches me up and says there's a football player that I like, and now I find myself in a basement about to close my eyes with a weird dude for five minutes to practice meditation. You know, you get everybody laughing and and you you bring awareness to the space, and I think that's what I I would need. And so I always like show up for those spaces in ways that you know contribute to what it is that I would need and contextually because context matters, you know? And so I think that, you know, not to not to brag, I think I was the perfect person to like grab for this. And absolutely agree. Also, I think that it was really dope that DeMar Hamlin used that influence. When you think of sports entertainers, think of like money making Mayweather or like Adrian Broner or like, you know, people who like like to be famous and like to have influence and do it in a way that's just like not good, versus somebody who is a personality. Everybody knows the story, but he uses it. He uses the story that everybody knows to influence people to come closer to themselves. And it's like, uh, that's somebody, that's somebody I can I can work with, that's somebody I can build with. And so it was really dope. It was really dope.

SPEAKER_06 5:42

I love that. Yeah, I feel like um it's I'm especially impressed that I mean just shows that he's I mean, I'm sure he's just always been a wonderful human, but you know, he was sort of thrust into that like celebrity kind of quickly and dramatically, you know, because I mean obviously he was already a professional football player, but like he wasn't one that um from what Billy has told me anyways, it was I mean, he was, you know, all the Bills are are beloved by Bills fans, but it was that horrific thing that happened that all and then like you know, he he survived and it was so beautiful and it was like so incredible, like how he there's like this whole like, you know, he did like the heart hands from his hospital bed, and like that became the big thing in Buffalo forever at the games. And I don't know, it just feels like somebody that was like kind of in the spotlight, but then suddenly like big time in the spotlight could really go both ways, you know. It's it wasn't so much a rise to fame or an on-purpose, it was like a very un I mean, it's kind of like a way nobody ever would want to get there through such a scary event happening. But he took that and has just done so much good, I know, like for the Buffalo community and for, you know, he does a lot of stuff with kids who've had issues with their hearts, um, which is just yeah, incredible. And then to do the same thing, like have, you know, metaphorically be driving around an unmarked van and be offering kids candy and then have them come out and be like, and meditation. You know what I mean? It's just like what a cool, what a cool way to use that celebrity and what a cool way to, I don't know, just show up in in a way that's gonna really impact people's like individual lives is just really special. And and you're right, could not have picked a better guy than you to be in that van.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Yeah, I'm and the parallel to a recovery or even how this podcast was generated, is generated, is contributed to is like, hey, it's the hardships that allow for us to contribute to the thing that plants the seeds for the opposite of the hardships. You know? Like if it wasn't for the heartbreak, I wouldn't be able to talk about friendship to the extent that I do. Wouldn't be able to practice understanding and willingness to continue to show back up to the drawing board if it wasn't for the times where like things weren't as good, you know. And this is not to compare like my experience to almost dying, but actually. I'm pretty sure you almost died a lot of times. Yeah, I kinda almost died. You know what's interesting? Damn, didn't know he was gonna go here. Oh boy. I don't know who I am. I'm in a space to where I don't know who I am. And it's so interesting. Yesterday I found myself, so my son gave me some stuff that was at his mom's house. It was like, hey, this was in a basement. Do you want it? And then when I got home, it's just pictures and photos and you know, the like stuff from when I was seven and my 11th birthday, and you know, my sister, my granny, my granddaddy, and and I was in I mean, family counseling, and we talking about things in there. This the session this week went unexpectedly to just like we're almost to a place to where like we're at a place where it's like couch conversation now, because like it's we got the big stuff out of the way. And so now it's like a practice to come show up and be on the couch every week. And in that, it's like, hey, what about, you know, and so this week was one of those, hey, what about changing my name? Like, why did you change my name? Like, why exactly did you change my name? Who, whose, whose idea was it to change my name? I I know I have the story about like why my name was changed, but whose idea was it? And what do you think about it? And and that mixed with like I look at a lot of things that are that I'm immersed in currently, and a lot of the things that like I identify with or have sought to identify with, but feel like I I'm not necessarily, I don't feel like I'm part of that club. Like, how did I even get to the point to where people would call me that? You you know? Like, how did I get to a point where people would call me uh, you know, traffic controller? I mean that's just an example, you know. I don't want to get like too personal because I'm still working these things out, but like how did I get to the point to where I'm a traffic controller? Like I wear this vest all the time, but I don't know how I got here, and I don't necessarily identify with like a traffic controller's life. You know? And I I talk to other traffic controllers and they talk about like all of the things from within the culture of being a traffic controller, and it's like I I got here in a unique way, and I don't I don't even see the world like that. Like, I don't feel like I even belong here. How did I get here? Who am I? You will know, and that can be a contribution to like loneliness, to like solitude, and to like being on a podcast when you're the host of a podcast, and it just comes out and you're trying to tie it into what the fuck y'all was talking about, but you're having trouble tying it in, but you just know it's important, and so you gotta say it. And it's and all of that contributes to like the spaces that we create.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Look at that.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

You get a space in Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh where it's a random space where somebody can come in and and be like, whoa, what the heck is going on? But they feel the genuine, authentic nature of what's going on because of the things that you went through to be able to create a space like that.

unknown 11:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

You know, or you know, a podcast like this where it's like, hey, the friend lab, it's you know, it's pretty, it's a pretty simple concept. It's a show about friendship, and and you know, it could seem, you know, topical in nature. You could come here and it's like, this is the three things that you could do to be a good friend, but it's it's like it's deeper than that because of the things that you and I went through to be able to get to this point, to be able to have these conversations. You know, when people get here, it's like, oh, whoa, wait, like this, there's depth here. And that depth comes from the experiences that we have as well as like, you know, the experiences that we're having currently. You know? And I think that's what makes authentic, real spaces what they are, because of the things that the people who hold them have gone through to be able to be there and create that space.

SPEAKER_06 12:35

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, and creating it's so interesting because we use that. I feel like creating space or holding space like all that is just we say that all the time now in this like moment in our culture or whatever. But I I like that it can mean a lot of things and and it's kind of ethereal because you know, space by design is like pretty unlimited, right? And I think that's it can be really scary, but the person holding the space is the one that allows that limitlessness to be exciting because there's also like some gravity. There's also an anchor, and you you definitely do that in every space that you're in, and the fact that you are creating space. I feel like we've said the word space a lot of times, um, in a way that allows for every single layer of that, right? Like all of you is is welcome here. And that means all of you that is now and all of you that ever was and all of you that's coming, and and you know, you get to have the freedom to decide which which is part of the conversation today, which which version you are. You don't have to know who the fuck you are to like be here and to have that be very welcome and to talk about it. And I think that's uh God, I was just I was just thinking this. Oh my gosh, I this is so timely. Cause like literally today I was watching some people that I admire on like Instagram or maybe I was reading Substack and thinking what I like about this person is they speak from a place of authority that I trust and that I that I that I you know respond to and they have things to teach me. And never does that rely on them being the same exact person every single day. Like you see their and I don't need to know like behind the scenes their entire life, like nobody owes me that. But I love I have the most admiration for people both in my personal life and otherwise who have space for all of them and let it be confusing and let it be messy and and yeah, which is what you're doing right now, and I think that is that's the kind of spaces I want to be in.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

And this is the thing, because you know, people will argue you down, and you know, just like Leah has the committee of lizards, I have the committee of Bryce's, and it's just a whole bunch of me's inside of me that are like, well, what about the opposing notion? And if you're my brain surgeon, I don't really want you to be exploring like all of the different parts of you while you're exploring the most important part of me to make sure that I'm okay. Even though I don't need you to be thinking about like anything else but getting in my brain and then getting out. But even there though, like there's things that may have led us to be a brain surgeon or a specific brain surgeon or the people that we operate on, or et cetera, et cetera, that are like pieces of us that make us a better brain surgeon. Do you know? So to not embrace the fact that I have like I'm from, you know, the the black community and I want to make sure that I I treat, you know, I I want to make sure that black patients have equitable treatment. And so I I I can I can inject that into the fact that I'm going to school for brain surgery to make sure that I create a space that is representative of my advocacy for, you know, the people that I care about. That part of you can come with you here. The ability to discern. I mean, yeah, just inherently, you know. Uh but the ability to be able to discern what goes where is, I mean, is a practice. And sometimes sometimes all of you isn't in a room. What do you do when you feel like all of you can't fit in a room? Do you feel like every space that you're in these days is fully representative of every piece of you?

SPEAKER_06 16:46

No. No, but I I n I don't feel like I'm in spaces, and this is actually probably more of an inside job than even about the spaces that I'm going into, but um I don't feel like any part is like ostracized there. Like there's nothing I I don't I mean, there's definitely you go to the DMV, you know, and you're not gonna probably like you're just not gonna be the versions of you that you're gonna be when you're like with your best friend, you know, like there's just so many there's a million places in the world that we need to go and show up in where it's just like I just need to put this hat on right now and get this shit done. But when it comes to like places where I'm really contributing in like a meaningful way, um I mean I guess I just make the choice to just show up as I am. And I sometimes I look back at that and I'm like, I don't really love the version of me that sh like that like there's something that I maybe wish could have changed, like my energy was a little off or something, but I don't think I'm censoring myself like I used to. I don't know. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 17:59

No, not every space is for every part of me, but I think that's part of like what I'm experiencing now, where like you mentioned earlier I'm attuned in a way to where there has to be like there has to be an alignment with where I'm at, with where I go, and like I can't be like I can't be in spaces too long where I feel like I have to suppress pieces of me.

SPEAKER_06 18:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would agree with that. Same.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

If it gets like that, then it's literally like an allergic reaction. And I start to I start to either being repelled or like weird shit starts to come out, and it's like, hey, you gotta you I gotta look at this before I'm weird.

SPEAKER_06 19:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

You know, because it feels weird and I'm showing up with integrity, but what ends up happening is it grates on me in a way to wear, like I'll start being weird and I'll say shit that like or I'll do things that when I do my my inquiry at the end of the day, or I, you know, self-reflect, it's like I didn't like the fact I did that or I moved like that, or I, you know, like I'm moving weird. You know? And so in in order for everybody to be okay, like I have to have that conversation with like why like why am I even here?

SPEAKER_06 19:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Like, who am I? You know?

SPEAKER_06 19:34

Well, and I think that's also like a knowing of yourself, you know, that that we've talked about before, where I think there's probably I know for sure, I don't know, I'm putting this in all these like maybe, maybe terms. I'm I've been in a lot of relationships, communities, jobs where I was showing up as the ver the thing, the the creature that I thought had was supposed to be there. You know, I was playing a role and that was just that very little of that role was me. The me part was just the me who had the ability to be like, this is what you need for me, and this is who I will be. And I just, you know, was so unwell in those spaces. And I I feel certain that there was giant red flags, you know, smoke signals and and missiles going off inside of me being like from the whole Council of Liz. They were like, Oh more mission! Like, get out of there, you know? And I just had mastered the skill of not listening to them, you know, and and that never has ended well. That's always made me sick, you know, in multiple ways. And now I, like you said, with that allergic reaction, I don't have the ability to ignore them. So now if I am in a space, a conversation, a relationship, whatever, that's just like this is bad, and the council has voted no, like I'm I'm gonna do everything I can to get out of there right away because yeah, it's not gonna be it's not gonna be good for anybody, mostly me.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

No. Yeah, and that understanding of self allows for you to be the best person for other people.

SPEAKER_06 21:13

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, that's the thing. I mean, how how many times on a podcast, whether it's the ones we've done together or like m my own stuff that I do, and you've probably had this experience too, where it's like the the one that I'm just kind of like maybe a little tired, maybe just like whatever, and I'm just showing up and I don't even have any filters. Like there's just whatever kind of attempt to be what I think I'm supposed to be, is just completely absent. Afterwards, I will be like, oh my God, I think that was just probably terrible. What did I even say? Who even was I? I was not even trying to be likable, you know what I mean? And those are always the ones that are like that I get the most response from. Those like the most the the they're the yoga classes I used to teach, the ones where I was just like, yeah, it's like when when I don't even have. The ability to put up or put on a show, it's always the scariest. It always feels to me like it's not enough, and then it always is the one that resonates with people the most. And that has been like a forever lesson that I continue to have to learn.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Yeah. Yeah, I definitely had a relationship. I I think I have a similar experience. It's not necessarily like when the the censor is just like, hey man, I can't even so I'm just gonna be who it is that I am. Yeah, what you get. It's really that for me. What it is for me is the times where it's like, hey man, you know, I was spitting game. Like I know, you know, I know that was the best that I like I don't get the feedback that I thought I'd get.

SPEAKER_05 22:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

And then it'd be the ones that's like it's business as usual. And I'm just like, I thought like the most important thing here is that I showed up so I can continue to practice. That people will pull out things like you said this and said that. I'm like, I say that shit all the time. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 22:59

Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Yeah, but you really said it, you know, and it really resonated with me. It's like, okay, cool. So it's just I I know that uh it's not necessarily based off of what it is that I think it's gonna impact. It was most important is that like I show up. Yeah. That I show up, you're not trying to figure out like what's gonna land, what's not gonna land, just like prioritize the work I do on shelf and then from there was supposed to resonate with you.

SPEAKER_06 23:25

Yeah. When you hear that, when somebody says like you that that you really showed up or you did this thing and it really, you know, hit home for me or whatever, or maybe if maybe not even quite as like specific to like one occasion, if somebody's like, you are this, like you are so generous, you are so wonderful in this way, like in an incredibly complimentary way, like that almost like just hits exactly the thing that you always really hoped that you were being, but like somebody sees it for the first time. How does I'm not gonna frame this question without answering myself first because I'm I'm framing it really confusingly. For me, I've noticed that that will like amplify the performance sometimes. That it feels it'll feel like pressure sometimes. Somebody will be like, I see you for this like you know, person that you are, and give me some like lovely reflection or feedback or compliment, and I will be like so touched to my core and then be like, Oh shit, I had them fooled and now I have to fool them forever, you know, instead of just being like, Oh, thank you. I that's that comes from my heart. That is who I that's who I have strived to be as good friend or whatever. And um what the fuck is that about? Yeah, I guess it's my question.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

I think I'm I think I'm seasoned enough now to be familiar with the things that pop up when I receive feedback that's favorable.

SPEAKER_07 24:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Because I tend to like the feeling that comes, like, oh, like I I I liked it when you did da-da-da, or you said dah, dah. It's like, oh, okay. And then you just it's like a dance move. I liked it when you did that little tap with your right foot. It's like, okay, now the whole routine is just right foot tap. I did tack it, one was good, more is better.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

You like it?

SPEAKER_02 25:14

You know, and it's like then people walk out of the theater, like, man, that was way too many right foot taps. I don't know what the hell's going on with bro.

SPEAKER_07 25:21

Like you paint a picture that makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

I like feedback, I appreciate feedback. I I know my my propensity to double down on what it, even when it comes to like the the things that work. And this is like it might be an ADHD thing, but so it's been a minute since I got a call for mindfulness. So I got that call for mindfulness, and then it's so much energy. It's the NFLs, NFL players, yeah, flying now. You come in there, you send the feedback, and then I come home, and it's like, I just I haven't the mindfulness guy. You know, like I need to do more mindfulness. How can I integrate that? Same as when I get a call for some music stuff. And if it's the recording academy and it's the Grammys, and here goes this guy who produced for Usher, and and I contributed to that room in such a way that I know nobody could. It's like, okay, well, music is the thing, you know, or you know, somebody orders a bulk order of books and then books me to speak for their high school, flies me out to Florida. It's like, oh, I'm I'm the public speaker and the author. And like I want to double triple down on that thing. And like I said, it might be an ADHD thing. But all of those things have something in common, and that's something in common is the work that I do on myself in a way that they are expressed through these different mediums that I found that organizations, businesses, nonprofits can consider and find a contribution. And so as an entrepreneur working on how to like package that up can be a thing where it's like, well, do you want the right foot tips or the left foot tips or the whole routine? What do you, you know, what like what do you really need for what it is that you're working to put together? And that's like a legit conversation because you don't have a business without it. You know, if I go to a swarma spot, and every time I go to the swarm of spot, it's just like, hey, you know, I'm just gonna be me and everything that brought me to who it is that I am, I'm gonna share that with you. Is so today you might get grape leaves, tomorrow you might get fatouche, the other, the next day you might get, you know, feta on on your swarma, even though we don't put feta on a shawarma usually, but hey, I'm just being me. This is a place where I'm on. It's like, no, bro, give me the right foot taps because I came for that shruma that I had last time. Tap the right foot because that's what I'm coming to you for. Like you have no business without the ability to show up and repeat what it is that people have found to be a contribution as an entrepreneur. So it's a it's a balanced act, especially with when you're in the realm of entrepreneurship like we are, where I'm I don't sell swarmers, you know. I sell me for real. As a personal brand, I sell, I sell me. You know, I sell me and what it is that I can contribute. And that might not always be the case. And and but as of right now, with a personal brand, that's what I'm doing. And so to mix that with the fact that, you know, I'm also just somebody who, you know, if we met for the first time and we're having a conversation, I might say something that somebody will come back, like, hey man, like you said this, you know, the last time I talked to you, and it really impacted me in a way to where I've been saying it to all my friends. And and like having that feeling too in that circumstance, it's like, oh, I should tell that story more just because that's who I am.

SPEAKER_04 28:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

You know, is is it's an interesting process to like not cross those wires. And all of that feeds into the fact that like I've I've got this constant conversation going, underlying who am I? What is important to me? Where am I in life? Do I identify with being who it is that I've said that I am? You know, am I as a as above, so below, as within, so without? Am I the same at home as I am outside? And if not, like where where am I DVA? Like what is, you know, this constant human conversation comes into play as well in that instance. And so it can it could be it could be intense.

SPEAKER_06 29:34

Yeah, yeah. I think it's by design intense. Well, especially when like what you do is s not only linked to, but also I mean, dependent on who you be, like you know, and we we have this this uh I think societal expectation that you've got like your life life and then your work life. And when your work life is you as your human self who is also going to be in your personal life, it just it's that that identity stuff becomes first of all, like a critical contribution to the work that you're doing and to the way that you market it for less than a bit for for lack of a better way to say it. Um but it also becomes like so important to to have those conversations, to always just like be beholding like all all the things and who you are and and and I mean, no wonder you don't know who the fuck you are. Like I I feel like similarly where it's just which especially in a good way though, right now for me, I feel like I'm feeling more myself than I ever have before. And there's a lot of like just to swing back where we were, there's a lot of spaces I'm in. Like I work one-on-one with clients in this like coaching and hypnosis and often like recovery and mental health kind of conversations. I, you know, am in front of communities where I'm talking about um same kind of thing, but it's very different in like a group setting for a specific like organization versus with like one-on-one folks. I've got my own podcast, I've got um, you know, consulting work that I'm doing for some companies and in all of those places. And then, you know, I go to Tampa that I haven't been there in like two plus years, and I'm walking into, you know, like the local coffee shop and the local even the local pet store, and like people know me there and they haven't seen them for two years, but it's just like this whole conversation, and I feel like me in every one of those spaces, but I'm not exactly I'm not the same in every one of those spaces. So allowing that to be true and to be be something I'm really grateful for and proud of. And also know that it it's like there's some integration that has to be done when it's just me here by myself because I'm gonna replay a lot of those things. And if they don't feel like they are integratable, that's gonna feel hard.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

So Yeah. That's actually a really good point. Oh, thanks. Because we come home to ourselves.

SPEAKER_06 31:59

Yeah, every day.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

And then especially if I'm looking at the feedback that I get from different spaces in different ways as an indication of who it is that I am that can lean into worth stuff, and then I get home and it's like, wait. Wait, you know, like even with the the NFL stuff, like it was such a whiplash experience because literally the day before and the day after, it's like, okay, I'm I'm forcing myself to get outside and be in spaces where like I'm the I'm the little dog because I need to be around people who know more than me. And with that comes people who don't know me, people who I admire, and I'm maybe like anxious to like how do I start the conversation? Like, what does it look like? You you know, and then saying the wrong thing. Well, not the wrong thing, but you know, it's been a minute since that's been like the fuck, especially when you you're you're getting booked and and you're getting put on stage as you you the main draw, and you don't you don't have to people are coming up to you talking about, hey, you know, I follow you for this long, you know, on social media, people DM me all the time, like, hey, like you, you this, you that, you this. And then now you in this room where it's like, hey, I'm Bryce the third. How you spell that? Or, you know, uh, hey, I'm Bryce the third. I was like, bro, it's on my it's on my jacket. Like you, like you, you should know who I am. Like I present myself in a way to where it's like, I don't, like, what do you do? And then I don't know. Everybody else knows what I do. Like, I why I gotta explain it to you. And it's like, oh, it's because this person doesn't know me. But now I'm faced with the fact that, like, damn, do I even know me? Have I been using the feedback as the gospel for who it is that I am for so long that I don't even really know for real. It's just like I am whatever I'm the best at in whatever room I'm in, you know? And then the whole thing where, you know, you like it's been a minute since I've, you know, that when you go into these rooms, you don't know who where you at. Like, you don't you people don't know who you are. You in these rooms, and and then afterwards you do the recon, and it's like, why the fuck did I say that? I I remember at this brand innovators conference. It was like literally the day before I got the call to go to Pittsburgh. Uh uh it was relatively, it was relatively straight. I didn't have too many conversations where it was like, but it was one conversation with this guy, he's Nick, and he is like the head marketer of meta wearables. You know, like bro sells meta glasses for a fucking living. And I, you know, I'm just to a point where I'm just like saying just random shit to whoever. So I'm like, hey bro, like, what is your favorite part of like the meta glasses? And he like, uh he like, oh, listening to music, because they, you know, they they bang out the music. I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, have you ever heard of the bone conductors? And those are like the headphones that like vibrate on the side of the. You know, it's not a comp it's not a competitor, but it's what I ended up you. I guess maybe, but it's what I ended up using because I tried to do metaglass. Basically, I ended up telling him I bought two pairs of meta glasses and I ended up like sending them back, you know, because the bone conductors work better. Yeah. And like there's this discourse in the culture around like the invasiveness or the creepiness of like these wearables that people don't know if they're being recorded yet. People don't necessarily understand. So I I don't know. In my bizarre world, I felt like I was giving feedback to the guy who's the head of like putting this stuff together, not thinking that he was like a Kool-Aid drinker, but thinking that maybe like I don't, maybe I'll say a thing that was like, oh yeah, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_04 36:14

Like, yeah, consumer to marketer, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

I gotta, I'm a sucker for like black women. You know what I'm saying? So like I've seen too many posts of like black women like feeling, like having weird interactions with men with these fucking glasses on. And so I think that's why I sent because I got I got a pair for Christmas this past Christmas. I'm like, uh, like I'm these cost too much for me to probably use them as less as I'm gonna use them. So let's send them back, let's get the cheese, and then I'll I'll get something else with them. And then I because I'm such a selfless person, I ended up using that money on birthday gifts for my daughter. And anyways, that's another thing. And that's that was yeah, that was bullshit that I just said, because no, like I could have used it on me.

SPEAKER_06 37:00

But anyways, Bryce would have tossed his hair back, but you know, I'll do fun.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

But yeah, so I'm I'm saying this thinking that it's gonna impact my man's in a way to where he's gonna be like, Wow, that is such amazing insight. But like, I'm the way it came out and the way bro looked at me, he's just like, okay, that's like don't you can't let anybody get to you, man. Don't let anybody dictate what you wear and what you don't. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll catch you later. And then the next day I get a call to go to the NFL draft. Like, you know, is it could be so whiplashy if I'm using the feedback that I get from others as gospel as to who it is that I am. And it's just not a it's just not a dependable met like I can't depend on it. Yeah. Will Smith before he slapped Chris Rock had this video on YouTube that really hit me. Did I do that?

SPEAKER_07 38:02

Well done.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

It really hit me in a unique kind of way, just like a slap across the face, where he he would say, like trying to use others' opinions of you to shape who it is that you are as like trying to fix your face in a broken mirror.

SPEAKER_06 38:22

Mm-hmm. I've heard it as like, it's like if like if I tried to put lipstick on my reflection, and then I was like, wait, why don't I have it? Why isn't it on me? You know?

SPEAKER_07 38:32

But yeah, I feel like both of those work. I've just heard that one recently.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

Yeah. That's that's actually a good one. I mean, I I've never thought of the lipstick metaphor because I've never put lipstick on. I probably I remember when I was young. All right, it's time to end the podcast. I'll tell this story that when I was young, I got in trouble because my my granny found me putting on her lipstick. I had her shit all over my face because I was, you know, I was like five years.

SPEAKER_07 38:56

That's adorable. I need to see that picture. If that picture ever comes up, you're gonna need to send it.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Oh no, there was no pictures.

SPEAKER_07 39:02

No, just a just a lot of getting in trouble. Those are probably her good lipstick, too.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

Well, yeah, on that note. Hey, we thank you all for listening this far. I think conversations like this are important where we need to float because um without these couch conversations, uh, those those super, these are three things that can help you be a better friend. Though those conversations feel void of personality, of spirit, of actual friendship, you know, because we're gonna have those. You know, there's gonna be there's gonna be articles that come out until we see you. I'm gonna I'm gonna definitely use that voice every time. There's gonna be things that are.

SPEAKER_07 39:50

This is the last thing you'll hear from Liz on this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

And we're gonna come on, and the the name of it is gonna be like the man's loneliness epidemic. What? But then when you get here, it's gonna be some real shit, you know? But like we know the importance of like marketing and and making sure that you all are aware that we exist and and being, you know, being the best podcaster we could be. But we also know like what it doesn't matter if you hear if we don't give you like the heart and soul. And so I think this is a heart and soul conversation. We appreciate you listening to us or yeah, we sure do.

SPEAKER_06 40:30

Yeah, no, I agree. I think this is super relevant, like identity stuff and self-worth and knowing who you are. Like, I I don't know anybody who hasn't grappled with that. And I think if you're in the clicking on a podcast that has to do with relationships and friendships, then I mean it's it's it's a critical part of that equation. So I love this conversation, and I appreciate you bringing it into our ether.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

So uh check out our sub stack, pop in there, join the community. We go live there. You can come ticker with us. You could also send us some topics, call in, give us your questions and the things that you're going through with relationships in your life, and uh follow us on Instagram too, you know, so you can see everything that we got going on. Until next time, we'll catch you on the next episode of The Friend Lab. See ya.