Moshpits, Broken Legs and Human Connections...?

Sometimes friendship looks like family counseling. Sometimes it looks like catching a stranger in a mosh pit. This week on The Friend Lab, Bryce and Liz unpack a Baby Keem concert that went sideways (in the best and worst ways), talk about the "scrolling season" ( are you a SCROLLy Polly??) we all fall into, and remind us that real conversation is still the best antidote for feeling stuck. Welcome to the buddy hood.

Follow The Friend Lab on Instagram

About Liz McKean: Liz is a hypnotherapist, yoga teacher, and creator of spaces where people can unshame their coping tools and finally feel better.

About Bryce The Third: When it comes to the most authentic and impactful voices rising out of Detroit, Michigan, Bryce The Third is a name you can’t afford to leave out. Not just an artist, he’s an emotional engineer with a live show that a mix of performance art, storytelling, high level lyricism and community building. Not only does Bryce have a story to tell, when you witness it, you’ll wanna tell yours 

Join The FriendLab Community! → https://substack.com/@friendlabpodcast

Call into the show to be featured → https://www.speakpipe.com/TheFriendLabPodcast

More about Liz → lizmckean.com

Follow Liz on Instagram → @liz.mckean

More about Bryce → BryceTheThird.com

Follow Bryce on Instagram → @brycethethird

Transcript

0:00

My husband and I are talking about making a really big change. And oh, a big change. You're about to buy a Corvette. No. In order, in order, it goes, shit, I'm tired than a motherfucker. Then it goes, I think I just broke my leg. LOL SMH. Well, LOL. The people in matches are some of the most kind and considerate people that you'll ever come across. What up, my friends, and welcome to the Frame Lab. We're your host and good friends, Bryce the Third. And Liz McKean. And if you're here, you're here to cook up some friendship. We know that it's hard to make friends, and it could be a challenge to keep friends and be a friend. So building connections in your life is something that you're looking to get better at. You're in the right place. Friendship and connection and relationships of all kinds are the best kind of challenge. It's the thing that makes being a person worth being a person. We're excited to share our friendship with you. So throw your lab codes on, or let's get this experiment jump in the Friend Lab. In the Friend Lab. What up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Friend Lab Podcast. We are your hosts, uh Bryce the Third. And uh Liz McKean. Did you have to throw your sexy voice on? Like, was that my sexy voice? Were you Marion? Mimicking your I didn't I didn't know it was a sexy voice, but it felt it felt sultry. I don't know. Really? Oh, well. Did you know that you had the capability to be sultry? Didn't know that. No, no, no, I know. We find out new things about ourselves on a daily basis. Will I use this power for good? Seduction. Watch it. Oh man. Um I went and saw obsession again. It's safe to say I'm obsessed. You're obsessed with obsession. I just was really excited about the fact that this guy did it on such a low budget and that he edited this film in his bedroom. You know, and and the fact that it's really, for me, like top five horror film, top five rememorable horror film in the past maybe like five, six years. You know? And so I I had to go see it again. I also had to go through the lens of what we discussed on the podcast around like consent and just kind of like peep different things. And there were certain things that I peeped in the movie that I didn't peep the first go round that I needed the context of our conversation that we had. Uh, for those of you who are listening, because this is not like an episodic podcast, if this is your first episode that you're listening to, the the film Obsession from 2026. Uh, it's a horror film produced by and edited by Curry Barker of That Sabi Bad Idea YouTube um fame. Uh, and we talked, we talked, it was uh we had a whole episode on its parallels to like the the messaging in the film. Uh the the the premise is snapping a stick and making somebody fall in love with them. And there's just like such a middle ground between meeting somebody and somebody falling deeply in love that if we skip that, now we're talking about like ripping the the like consent, ri ripping will and choice and autonomy from another person. And I think the film was aware of that, and I think going back and watching it again, it it really like it was like wow, this is a great film. Yeah. Now, why is this better than the other cause you said what did you say, top five or whatever? Top five top five horror film of the past five years, I'm sure. Just because you watch a lot of horror films? I do. I do. It started when Bryce was younger, and me and him, we just got deep into horror. Um, Ariaster, uh in my like I feel like maybe when I wasn't paying attention, paranormal activity, which is not a horror film, but it was like I'm just big on media that makes me feel something. And horror can be like roller coasters in a way to where it's like that you're I I'm a I don't know if you know this about me, Liz. Matter of fact, this this is a fun fact. I slept with a nightlight until I was like 12. For context, four years later, I had a son. Is that why you said but like I I did not like the dark because I and now in hindsight I know it wasn't about the dark, it was about my mind. And some of the freakiest horror, like there was this horror film called um, what was it called? It's about to be on HBO Max, but it what was it? What was it? Uh Undertones. And it was about a podcast. Uh it was the a girl and a guy, they have a podcast together and and it's they explore like creepy stuff. And so they get sent these audio files, and then they go through the files, and as they go through the files, like it it continues to unfold. But a majority of that movie, 75% of that movie, is just a girl sitting in front of a mic and like sounds. It's like the sound design is what that movie is all about. Why do I feel afraid suddenly sitting alone in my house as a girl in front of a mic? I don't know. I'm gonna pull I'm gonna pull back. We ain't gotta go deep into it. But like I literally damn near had a panic attack at the end of that movie. Oh my god. And it wasn't nothing shown on screen, but it was like the audio plus my mind just was like it was worse than anything anybody could have shown me, you know? Um so yeah, that's why I didn't like the dark. And so I think like part of watching horror films now is like playing around with that thing. Sometimes I just want to feel something, you know? So I was like, scare me. Every now and then I'll come across something that's like, bro, like don't ever scare me like that again. Undertones was one of them. We've gone too far. The light isn't crossed. We've gone too far. Am I broken now? Oh no. Break out the night light. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. No, I feel I actually prefer media. I like media that makes me laugh, and but the more deeply it makes me like feel, the less I want to engage with it because I just I have so many big feelings happening all the time that I'm still at the ripe age of 45 learning to navigate that like I don't need more in there to process. I got I got my own, like I I'm already, it's like this is the same reason I don't ride roller coasters. Like I can give myself that feeling just by closing my eyes. I don't need to experience it outside of myself because that just makes it harder to to navigate the the inner world. Um yeah. So yeah, nothing. Yeah, no, that that's that's so interesting because I I have a similar experience, except for grinding the roller coaster gives me the power back. I get that. Whereas like I don't always have control over my feelings. Yep. Matter of fact, let's just move the always away. Like I don't have control over my feelings, I don't have control over my thoughts. I can contribute to a better track. Uh I could plant the seeds for a better process, but I can't literally think I can't control what I think. Yeah. And like riding a roller coaster, I know I'm about to be freaked out, and that's the whole point. You know, I'm going to this horror movie to be freaked out, and that's the whole point. Matter of fact, I'm sitting here with my arms crossed if you don't freak me out. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, like I came here for one job and one job only, and that's to get freaked out. So please do your job. Another thing I I did that you probably would not do is last night there's an artist, uh, Baby King. Um, for those hip hop heads uh you know if you go to a baby keem concert, and and this story is gonna be uh So went to the Keem concert last night. Not even top three, top number one like in moshing. I've never moshed like we moshed last night. And and um I don't know how much I've talked about, you know, the relationship I have with with my sister and like you know the the family counseling on the show because I say a lot of shit everywhere I go. But um I don't know either. It was about like two years ago, me and my sister hit a roadblock in our relationship, and it wasn't like a roadblock, it was like we literally like a there's like a brick wall, you know. You open a door and it's just like a brick wall, and it's like, oh, we can move no further until we actually do some date work. And and that that started at a Ali Sadiq show, which is he's a comedian. Um I went out, took it for her birthday. So you went to a Ali Sadiq show, and like that night was indeed night, it was like not a fun night. And then um, you know, then that set that's that set the events in place that would like kind of sever us for a second, and then come that that new year, uh actually she gave me the call at the Stranger Things finale uh premiere at the movie theater on New Year's Eve, or yeah, New Year's Eve, that uh she she had found a counselor, and then we had been going to family counseling. Um and so this baby king concert was a present for her for her birthday. Oh and so it's kind of like yeah, it's kind of like full circle. Um and it was it was an amazing time. And my sister might it tour MTL. No, I know I know that so last night it was it was all so fresh, and like, you know, she was joking about it. I was kind of joking about it because like there was a we got separated when you match pit. Like you can stay together, and I tried to stay together as much as we possibly could, but then we got separated. And so when we got separated, after we connected at the end of the show, it's like she's limping. I'm like, what the fuck is going on with you? Like, you good? Like, why you limping? She's like, Oh yeah, you know, uh, I I text you, and so I look at this string of text messages, and it it is an insane string of text messages. It in order, in order, it goes, shit, I'm tired than a motherfucker. Then it goes, I think I just broke my leg. Lol, smh. Well, lol. Then it goes, they're getting a medic. Then it goes, never mind, all good. Then it goes, got it wrapped. Then it goes, I'm going to get some water, lol. Oh my god. She's so cheerful about it the whole time. And this is between 1015 and 1025. Like they're just coming in, but I can't see what's going on. So I'm kind of glad I didn't see it because I probably wouldn't have been able to enjoy the rest of the concert. Yeah. Um, but I'm bumping into some things today around like I just gotta sit with it because I feel like I, you know, because one I know how to how it feels to be out, you know, physically, and too, there's some like protection things that are there. Like, damn, like could I, you know, could I have protected her more? You know what I'm saying? Like the the where it's like the things on our shirt, our shoulders and our backs, you know. When we were walking to the current, I was literally telling her, like, yeah, like, you know, stay close to me because I know that like when I hurt my back, like I still haven't been an Orange Theory crazy. And like I had, like, I just felt like I couldn't trust my body after I hurt my back. And then literally, as we walked, we walked about five more minutes, I was like, Man, I wish I could put you on my back and fly you to the curr. She was like, That's funny. You just said everything you said about your back. And I'm like, Oh, no. That's interesting, yeah. Yeah. Hmm. How is she today? So last night she was gonna go to the hospital. Oh, and but then she ended up not, she was like, I think I'm just gonna go to the crib and sleep it off and see how I feel. And today she was like, Yeah, I gotta go, I gotta go. So she ended up going and um they gotta order a MRI, and then when I get the the MRI, then that those results will come back two weeks later. And the doctor said it might be the MCL or you might have just tore a muscle, but she said she heard she heard something pop, you know. So no, it's it's it's okay. So next year, just give her a present she can open and enjoy. Maybe maybe the experiential situation is just not you guys' jam. Like, maybe let's learn. I'll show you some video though. When we get offline, though, she really, really enjoyed herself. And even like at the end, she was like, because this is the thing about moshing. Like, mashing looks and can be dangerous, and the people in moshes are some of the most kind and considerate people that you'll ever come across. You know, like the DJ came on before the main artist came on and played like a whole bunch of like similar music and like gave us a preview into what the night was gonna be. I'm like, oh shit, I don't even know what I'm in for because I was soaking wet after the DJ said. Yeah. Went to go to the bathroom, get some more water, go to the bathroom. There's a guy in the mirror, like with a bloody nose, just like, you know, somebody else getting dragged out, like like by security or whatever. Like, I guess maybe he was like too drunk. What I don't know. You know what I'm saying? So it's like proving your point about the kindness of the crowd. On the outset, it's like, oh, this is a dangerous place. You know, but I could name four instances. One before we even started rocking, like the way I sit water, I'm sober, I don't drink, but the way I sit water, it can look like I'm vibing. You know what I'm saying? Because like I put the water in my molecules, and so I'm like vibing. Somebody tapped me, like, hey, you good? It was uh I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I'm straight for like, okay, cool. I was like, okay, cool, I see what this is. You you know, uh, somebody cleared out because they dropped the glasses. Everybody moved out and then he turned the phone on. Because usually, like, when you clear out, you're kind of clearing out the pit to like hop in the pit and go crazy. He clearing out everybody like ready to go crazy, thinking he's clearing out the pit. And he actually hit his phone and he's like looking on the phone or on the floor for his glasses. And so everybody helped him find the glasses, give him the glasses, he put the glasses on, and then he started matching, and everybody started crying. You know, uh, I I can't I can tell you how many people I caught, you know, and they're like, oh yeah, good looking, bro. You you know, so we support each other, and I I've seen videos of like people getting kicked in the mouth and stuff like that. Like, but that's the type of motion I don't do. Like this type monch, though, like it's so much love, you know. Yeah, and it just goes to show like how how like people can on the outset look into a community and be like, I don't understand that. Like I would never, and it's not it might not be for you, but then on the inside of the community, it's like, oh yeah, this is what we this is how we connect, you know? Yeah, yeah, it's just very physical. Yeah. And the last thing I'll say about that because I feel like I'm taking up a lot of space, is that the artist is so funny. Like, I didn't even look on stage until about 25 minutes into the set. It was like it literally wasn't about this artist, it was about the community around this artist. You know, like his show, like his live show wasn't even like top 20 for me, you know? Yeah, but the crowd, the audience, the community, like that was like a number one experience for me, you know? So it was dope and she had a good time and it ended in a an unf I won't I won't we won't call it yet. We won't call it what it ended how. You know what I'm saying? Like I think it's well she got hurt, like that part is is known, yeah. Yeah, oh that's too bad. But also she probably have I mean, just even the fact that she was texting you like, well, let's have an LOL. Like, you know, like and now this LOL. Like it feels like there was a lightness to it where it wasn't just like, oh my god, this person crashed me and this thing happened and a motherfucker. Like it wasn't like there wasn't there wasn't a lot of anger and fear around it, it sounds like, and you know, the fact that they got medics there, got her racked up. Like that was all I mean when you have to have an experience like that, which sucks because nobody wants to get hurt, but to like have it in a space that you're gonna be supported um is you know pretty awesome. And the whole time, like, you know, she knew her brother was there, you're gonna get back together in the at the end. So, you know, the best that a crappy situation could be, you know, a crappy thing happening in a good situation, I guess, is more like it, which you know I mean it's kind of a microcosm of this whole friggin' lunatune world that we're in right now where it's just there's a lot of bullshit happening and a lot of scary shit happening, and the thing that makes it livable and allows us to like be, you know, humans having a human experience that includes joy and also sometimes includes getting a hearing a pop in your leg, you know, is the the people that you choose to surround yourself around and still listening to music and jumping up and down and and you know, supporting each other and checking to make sure somebody else is okay right next to you, because you know it can feel pretty lonely and hopeless in moments when all you're doing is scrolling and looking at all the the shit and look at it from the outside and it you know when you go and be be be within something, be within some group, be within people. Like that's what that's what allows it, even if you're gonna end up on crutches, to you know, still be in something that you were part of something that you feel supported in. Yeah. Have you been scrolling a lot? I've been scrolling a lot, dude. I hear it. I hear it. Yeah. Yeah, I really have. And not not like like I really I did the thing on Instagram where I um I turned off like suggestions so that I only see the things that I follow, because that's really helpful for me. And I and I curated what I follow and like I've muted things that it's like I actually really support this person and I want to, you know, be uh, you know, on their list of followers or whatever, but like I I just don't want to see their shit right now or whatever, not because it's not good, but because it's just not good for me. And um, so I feel pretty good about what I've curated, and also I know that it's there's a a numbing agent in there that's not great. And I'm feeling stuck sometimes, you know that feeling of stuck that you get when you start scrolling and you're like, why am I still doing this? Why am I still doing this? Why am I still sitting here? So there's an awareness. I've got my brick that I'm not using that I need to start using again. And I'm trying to Oh, you're talking about the little the little uh thing on the phone? It's it's separate. It's an actual little like tire. Yeah, I got it stuck on my refrigerator in the other room. So if I brick my phone, I have it set up so it's like Instagram and then all the other apps that I'll open up if I go to open Instagram and Instagram doesn't work with like I mean Pinterest, sure, why not? I don't really know Pinterest, but like I'll open that and scroll it. I have all of those will become unusable until I go back into the other room and and unbrick. So I've been I've been trying to do that for you know an hour here and there. So you know, baby steps and you ever like brick your phone and you just thought it break out the window. No, I've not done that. I feel like that's that's the solution to all the problems. Oh my god. Yeah, it's so interesting because it's just like I don't there's there's there's people in those spaces on that on my phone, even in in social media spaces that it's like I actually do feel better being connected to them. You know, there's conversations I'm having and stuff, but it's also an entry point to like that that stuck feeling that I'm experiencing, which is also because I'm in I'm a little overwhelmed right now in life. Like there's just a lot going on. Yeah. Yeah, I think previously we've had conversation and um I have been a big proponent of like online spaces. And I think right now I'm in a season where it's like my shit is really analog. Like I'm like, you know, I'm I'm curating the algorithm of my life. Who am I hanging around on a daily basis? What environments am I in? Who am I talking to? You know, uh people in real life. Because if I feel like even the good stuff on my phone, every time I turn it on, it's just like some stuff that like I'm not a part of, but I shouldn't be a part of, and it's like, uh, you know, like even when some of us I feel like even with stuff that I used to learn from, it's like I'm learning like I I learned different now, you know, and and some of my some of my content has even become contrarian. Yeah. And it's just like I need to like, I need the wor I need, I need the world. You know what I'm saying? Like I need people in the world. I need to touch it, I need to feel it, I need to like be in the environment with it, I need to hear the tonality of your voice, not on a speaker from, you know, that type energy. What what has been how have you been able to show up in this scrolly season of yours? I w what what has been have you are we at a point where we could talk about the antidote, or is it still something that you are currently experiencing and working on how to show up for? Uh well, first of all, I feel like let's trademark scrolly season because I feel like that's let's do it. How are you doing? I'm in a scrolly season. For real. Um what is it? Uh all I could think of the age of the age of Aquarius. The age of scrolly. Nope, not working. I thought I had something there. Oh, almost. It's not an episode of Blees Don't Sing, so you know, now it's an official episode. That's canon. I'm disappointed in myself. Maybe I'll find a better song later. Um I mean I don't know. Um I don't know if yeah, I don't know about an antidote. 'Cause antidote also would imply that there's I don't know, that there's like a poison, you know what I mean? And and I don't I don't necessarily deny that there is when it comes to social media in general, but so you know what is a bo what is a poison though? You know, poison is something that is not good for me right now, you know, and maybe things that used to be good for me are are not good for me. So I mean, you know, there's things maybe I don't know. I I think I'm just def defending my metaphor, but no, go ahead. Yeah, no, I well I don't I think it's a perfectly good metaphor, but but I'm just deciding whether or not it feels right for the situation that I'm having for my scrolly season, for my scrolly poly season. Don't be a scrolly poly. I know be a scrolly poly if I want to be a scrolly poly. I don't know to to answer your question. I, you know, we are talking about my husband and I are talking about making a really big change. And oh, a big change. You're about to buy a Corvette. No, I don't know what's going on. Oh, you're gonna taste yet. You're gonna make a um you're gonna make uh your own flavor of ice cream. That obviously that's what it is. Yeah. You know, if that doesn't send you to Instagram, I don't know what will you call it the Florida mullet. I had um Cherry Garcia last night for the first time in a minute, and it was so good. Oh my god, so delicious. Anyways, um there's just a lot going on right now, and so that's this does tend to be the time that I'm like like try like it right now, it's a little bit of an antidote in itself to like be scrolling, to be to like go to this thing. And I know myself well enough to know that it's like, oh, we we're a little over the threshold of like this is helpful and a treat. And now it is just a um, you know, numbing thing that I'm like losing time to. So I mean, yeah, we could talk about it, but I don't really know if I have anything beyond that. Like I'm just figuring out as I go. I don't I don't want to like force you to learn a lesson. Yeah, my kids where I work uh uh sometimes at the juvenile detention center. Um but there's there's one and she and she's gone now. But she had this thing was like, oh, here you go, you're about to turn it into a lesson. Like, why can't we just fucking have fun? Shit. I'm like, all right, all right, all right. So no, I mean I and I think like for me too, some seasons I just need to like go through it, you know, and not necessarily have like an antidote. But I think what I was looking for is well what I would what I'm attempting to do here on the Python. The script I did not follow was uh about her on this podcast about friendship is like to show up for you, you know? Because I know for me scroll whenever I'm a scrolly pulley, it it is but of a symptom of like, you know, some like you said, like hey, there's a lot of shit going on, and this feels like I know for me, like I I need to regulate and I can reach for this thing as like the regulation, but unfortunately, just due to the nature of it and the nature of me, it it tends to like spiral into dysregulation more. Yeah. So it's like ah, you know, then I gotta actually like grab a book or something. Yeah, yeah. I think yeah, yeah, I do. And I think that is that is the thing. That is the next step. Because, you know, Billy meant when Billy gets home from work, we usually he gets home pretty late a lot of the time. So and I also go to bed really early, so it's kind of a small window when we're both home. So usually we'll have some dinner, you know, whatever. He'll do his thing to kind of like decompress from work, and then we'll turn on whatever rerun show we're watching at the in the moment. And we it's really easy. That's just like another version of the scrolling, because you know, when you're watching reruns of something, you can just watch hours and hours of it if you let yourself. Um, so we're like, all right, we're gonna just do only one episode per night now. We're not gonna like let it go on for however many episodes because it'll just continue. And, you know, we had two last night for like 20-minute episodes. So we gave ourselves a pass. Naughty, naughty. But it was better than like four or five. So it's like little things like that. Let's just do, let's just do one episode because that, you know, because otherwise we're just kind of like getting ourselves stuck on this couch. And it helps that it's starting to get nice out. Because I also think one of the reasons this kind of these habits set in is because we felt a little trapped inside for, you know, the last, I don't even know, decade. How long has this freaking winter been? Come on, dah. It's been a lot. So now it feels a little easier to, you know, be able to be moving into other things. And when it comes to me and you know, at home when I'm, you know, on my phone, going outside and and taking a walk is is forever the thing that makes me feel better. And I'm finding that I there's a lot of value in doing that without putting my AirPods in because it's easy for me to go out and immediately um you know, turn a podcast, whatever. And it's just like, okay, I just need to like hear my own thoughts again. And that's that's been really helpful. So it's those little things, and as opposed to like a sweeping, this is a bad thing that I cannot ever do again. It's like, no, I don't want to, you know, I don't think it's it's like I I feel like I've done a lot of the antidote, I think, in general, is like all the work I've done over years and years and years to even notice when something's starting to not feel as good. The antidote is the awareness, it's the awareness, the awareness that we come back to over and over again. Yeah. No matter how far we go in the direction that we may not desire. Yeah. The antidote is our ability to practice awareness of if we're moving in alignment with our desired values. I had a moment where I was doing something where I'm I'm caught in a spiral and it's like I know I'm not supposed to be doing what I'm doing, but like I'm doing it. And you ever hear hear that that uh the story about, you know, the the God or the higher power, whereas like the guy, it was like a tsunami or whatever like that, and then um everybody was evacuating, and he was like, ah no, I'm God, I'm not gonna evacuate, God'll get me. And then like somebody pulls up with a boat, like, hop on, he's like, No, God'll come. And then uh somebody pulls up with a life rap, he was like, No, you know, God got me. And then somebody pulls up with a helicopter, like, yo, this is the last yeah, and he was like, No, God got me. And then he drowns, and then he goes wherever God is, and God he was like, Why didn't you save me? And God was like, bro, I sent a boat, I sent a life rap, I sent a helicopter, he was tweaking. I literally had one of those moments, and so I come from you know, 12-step and and like things being super linear and having like this super loud relationship with my higher power because at one point I didn't have a relationship with a higher power, and and so it was like really like an eye-opening moment because I was doing something I wasn't part to be doing. And then a a bee came into the basement, and like I had to stop doing what I was doing to like get this bee in a box so I could put it outside, and it was like a hornet, like a like one of them loud, like if I make a wrong move, towards the shoot me with his 45 caliber the hornet thing. Right. Uh, and then I I once I got the bee out, I got back to doing what I was doing. And then I got a call from somebody that don't never call me, you know? And then he asked me, he was like, uh, you know, I was told to to call and and tell you to say what meeting we going to tonight. And I'm like, I'm trying to take a nap because I'm I'm going to the concert, which was going to the concert is true. I can't go to a meeting tonight because I'm going to the concert. But I was not taking a nap. I was doing a thing I wasn't supposed to be doing. And that's when it clicked. Like, oh, like, you know, I've sometimes I get in these moments of being in a cyclical, like in a hole. And it's like, you know, you know, those foxhole prayers, like, damn God, like, like I need something. I need like help me be different, you know, help me, dah, dah. Guys, like I sent the B. I made Mike call your ass, you know. Like, what more do you want? Like, oh yeah. And that was the moment where like click, and it's like, oh, if I'm not attuned or in relationship with my awareness, like I could have a spiritual experience and miss it. You know, when I first came into recovery, like it was this whole thing where like the the AC blew a specific paper on the floor and it was like, it was so magical to me. You know, it's like, God is being loud, you know. But I don't think I've had any of those God or loud moments. But then last night was kind of like one of those moments like, well, maybe they've been happening, but I have not been paying attention because I've been so hellbent on doing a thing that I'm asking, like doing, like perpetuating, even though I'm such in a loop, even though that I can't see it, you know. So that was an eye-opening experience for sure. Yeah, like you stopped holding up your side of the relationship you and you just expected it to just be handed it to you, handed to you. Meanwhile, it was being handed to you, but like you weren't even open to a lot of people. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. So I was like, hey, if you if you if you want there there's ways that we could practice paying attention. Um, and I think like when we scrollly pollies, like I think the definition of that is like take my attention away from me because there's so many things that are like super loud and painful, like right here, and I really don't want to be attentive. Yep. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And it's especially interesting, I you know, in like the corners of the internet that I'm on, the, you know, the there's a lot of like coaches and healers and you know, people that are doing, you know, I'm I'm a yoga teacher, I'm a hypnotist, like I'm a, you know, in the recovery spaces and stuff like that. So there's a lot of people offering support in a lot of ways. And another thing that pops up a lot in those spaces that I enjoy is people who are really into different types of spirituality and they're offering, you know, like messages and um, you know, even if they don't frame it that way, they're offering like it can feel like I'm gonna find what I need in here. I'm gonna find the message that's for me in here. I mean, how many times you come across something on, you know, your whatever social media you're on, you're like, oh my God, I was meant to come across this. This is the thing I needed to hear. And it's like, no, bitch, that was an algorithm. Like you were looking for that. You're engaging with things like that, you know, and like, sure, it could be helpful for you. But yeah, I I totally agree with you. That is a very different feeling. That feels like the you know, artificial sweetener version of when I'm outside and I have like a very poignant, poign, poignant powder. Oh my god, help. I think I think you I think you did it. Poignant. Okay, I'm not gonna try to do it again. That word, emotion or feeling or thought, and and I'll, you know, look up and it's a bird that is like a you know, that I don't usually see. Or there's, you know, like a ladybug that just landed on my hand. You know, like those little things, or I'll notice that, like, oh my god, the leaves rustling in the trees is a sound I haven't heard for months and months and months. There haven't been leaves on the tree. That's a split literal sound that has not been heard, you know, in however long, and just have that feeling that gives you like goosebumps, and then the next step becomes very obvious. And like those. Sorry, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, or oh my God, like I don't usually listen all the way through the friend lab episodes, but this one, I don't know what it was about it. How did they know that I was a scrollly poly? And now I have the language to understand what I'm going through in the season that I'm in. Oh my god, wow, divinity. One of them YouTube videos, this was meant to find you. If you're seeing this, this was divinely placed in your. I know. Well, but also, I mean, and I don't wanna I also don't want to discount that entirely because it all it is, yes, there's an algorithm involved in all that, but also, you know, whatever path you took, even if it was gonna lead there because of this little digital environment we're in, like there was a real person at the end of that path creating a real video. And if you're lucky enough, you did land on someone like Bryce the Third who is gonna say something that is absolutely from his heart, that is absolutely meaningful and hopefully allows you to take a next step in a loving way. So that is a thing that actually can be real. But if that is the only thing you're looking for, and if you're just stuck in that scrolly season, as I have definitely found myself lately, it can feel like yeah, it's like you get sort of addicted to the the artificial sweetener of it all. Um I say that as a person who loves diet soda, so please know I'm not judging you if you like artificial sweetener, it's just the metaphor I'm using in this moment. Um so yeah, I think the real stuff is good stuff, and also we're real people out there on these internet streets, and also we're just doing the best we fucking can. And I think having the conversation is a hundred percent the antidote for like for that feeling of like, ooh, I'm stuck in something, stuck in my head. Yeah, yeah. I 100% agree. And uh before we get out of here, uh we'll switch to the final segment of the show. Time for the buddy corners ooh. Uh so today's buddy corner question is Liz. Wait, I'm supposed to ask you a question. Well, you lacking, so do you have a question loaded up? Oh my god, so judging. Cool, go ahead and ask. Like I was saying. Oh, like I was saying. What kind of food stand would you open? Ooh. Food stand. It's like a food truck kind of thing. Can it be a truck? It could be whatever you want, I guess. I wish you could hear the birds that are I d I literally heard those birds. Did you just hear those birds? Oh my god, those birds. I literally lay in my bed sometimes and turn on my little Merlin app so I can find out what bird is singing right outside of the window. It's usually a Robin. Cardinals are real loud too. Okay, food, food, food. What food would I not get sick of making? Um I used to think soup. I used to be like, why aren't there more places that just do all soup? But I also don't think I'd want a food truck that's just soup. Because my food stand is a food truck. I think oh my god, why is it so hard? I'm not a very good cook. Toast. I would make toast. Oh yeah, all different kinds of toast. So toast with peanut butter and fancy things on top, toast with fruit on it, toast with avocado on it, toast with that'd be the really expensive one because that just makes everybody go broke, apparently. Um toast with different cheeses, and toast with, I don't know, things you wouldn't expect to have toast. And you'd also have like your just basic toast with like the really good like salted butter. Oh, my mouth is watering. Yes, it definitely does. And I could have soup too during the cold days. It'd be good to because then you could like dip your toast in your soup. Soup and toast. Soup and toast. Yep. Soup and toast. How about you? I love I love how how the direction you took it in was what could I make? Like, what would I not get tired of making versus like I think where I would have went with the question would be like, what do what like food do I like? You know? So mine probably would have been like an Ethiopian food place just because like I like Ethiopian food, but I can't make Ethiopian food. You know, so it's it's so interesting to see how people take questions and run with them. Yeah, it is. Well, because I'm imagining it's just a one-man show. Like I'm sitting there, I'm a charge of all the things. I wonder, are you like the visionary, but you actually have like partners that come in and do the cooking? I mean, yeah, I probably got a whole squad. It's probably the 15th truck, even though um I probably got the best uh in Ethiopian c culinary arts to do what I need them to do. They introduce me to new dishes, maybe it's a roll of menu. Who who knows? But yeah, I'm I'm definitely not sitting at the truck. I'm eating at the truck. That's that's for sure where I went with it, because like I could eat that. Yeah. I want my toast. I want your Ethiopian food too, though. That sounds delicious. I am hungry. Yeah. Well, it's time for us to go get something to eat. We thank you all for paying uh uh close attention uh to the friend lab today, because uh if you're here now, you are definitely the homies. So what were we calling everybody? The buddy gang? What was it the uh Buddy the Buddy Hood? The Buddy Hood. There you go. Um if you if you if you if you consider yourself to be a part of the buddy hood, I should have put this at the top of the show, but I didn't. It's at the back of the show. Give us a rating and review. Um, share this episode to a friend that you think could benefit from talking about or being exposed to the terminology uh scrolly poly. And we will catch you on the next episode of the friend lab. Yeah.