“Standing Cock Has No Conscience” – Dating Red Flags, Horny Gamers & Doctor Bullsh*t

#8 This episode goes completely off the rails… in the best way possible.

From dating red flags to computer games that make you horny, this episode has a bit of everything…  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Standing cock is no conscience. That's yes when you're 20 years old.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Is that what Confucius said?

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I think so. Oh Confucius. Standing cock as a man who has standing cock has no conscience.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

He's a wise man.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is I Steadwood Edward. And people have been uh uh well few p yes I okay few people been bagging me about how sparse this set is so we thought fuck it we'll spruce it up a bit so we just got what was around the place so we got an old fucker's hat a firing flag and that that's about fucking it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

What about the trekkie?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

I know that's just a fucking Star Trek badge, mate. That's just me. So we we we we didn't I didn't make much of an effort, but fuck it's more than I usually usually do. Um we got some uh bad news um due to my ongoing infection in my forehead, um we postponed the first leg of the tour um from a quarry down to s uh former quarry down to Sydney. Um we will be doing it but um look what you don't know is in between casts I've been in hospital, I was on my back for a week um getting any biotic spanting to me. It's a pretty fucking bad um infection. Um it's not good. So I need to get that um cleared up before um I set off on on into the galaxy once more. Yeah. And so and and also we're gonna be asking some questions. If you got any questions, well, you're gonna be asking the questions to me. Um and I'll give you some answers in the half time. Um and then so just forthcoming with questions, please, and I'll do my best to answer them. So we're gonna get on to today's podcast. Is that what we're doing?

SPEAKER_01 3:10

That's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Okay, yeah. So, before the show, I I I I gotta apologize to Shay, because I had a little tummy spit at him, and I am sorry, mate. It wasn't actually at you.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

It was It was at the Part Flag, was it?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

No, it was I know I shouldn't, but I guess it's shit with all these I've done some interviews with certain um institutions, you know, papers and that around the country about um making my comeback. And I I'm honest about what I've been through, about the drugs, the alcohol and all of that shit. And, you know, I don't mind talking about it, but uh when I get baited with a fucking headline of, oh, isn't it so sad? It just fucking gives me the shits because it's like I've that poor little spastic and I've never been the person to play on that. People think I do, but I fucking don't. And when I see it, I get baited, I get the shits, and fucking say all the fucking breath of it. So sorry, mate, I did not fucking mean it. I just fucking get the shits of these fucking coats.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

That's alright, mate. The clickbait thing. It's it's not taking the hook. That's the that's what it's called clickbait. I always take the fucking hook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's something juicy on that hook, whether it be a worm or a piece of lobster.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

It's just it's just fucking I know I've been in this industry so long I should know better, but fucking when you do something in good faith, yeah, and you read some shit like that, it's like fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

You know, like don't dwell on how I fucked up. Dwell on how I came through it.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

And and what I'm doing now. And I'm not the person I am when I was first on TV. I'm now in a wheelchair and now in the scooter.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

And that's got nothing to do well, it's got a little bit to do with drugs and alcohol, but also it's got to do his I know this will fucking shock the fuck out of you reporters, but it's got to do with cerebral palsy. It gets worse, you fucking dumb cuts.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Said with a smile. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

You know, it's not rocket science here, you know, it's it's when you've got something to do with your motor functions, right, and you you're against the odds anyway, walking and talking, it will get worse as you get older.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

And because you got age on top of that, plus cerebral palsy, it will take a toll. You know, and and don't feel fucking sorry for me or make because I don't feel sorry for myself for fuck's sake. If you feel sorry for me, fuck give me a head job. Don't give me a fuck by light, just give me a gobby and I'll be happy.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Is that a is that an open invitation for she, hers, um don't for them's? No.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa there.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

That's an open invitation for. Vegetarians?

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Are they allowed Well I don't think there's I don't think there's any such thing as a true vegetarian or a true vegan? Okay, explain. Well uh if you're a vegetarian or a vegan, does that mean you don't give fucking blowjobs? Because that's technically printing meat in your mouth.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

You put you putting meat in your mouth. We're talking about the at the end game here? Is this spin or swallowing?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

It doesn't matter whether it's the end game or not. It's still physically putting live meat in your mouth.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

No, I mean like if if you're a spitter or a swallower, you know, so you're taking the hit of protein at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

It should've m well it shouldn't matter, shouldn't it? Because because the actual act of putting a bit of meat in your mouth is attached to a live human being.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

I think I think technically it's only if you swallow that piece of meat. So I you know, you can So so you're allowed to wear You put a water bottle in your mouth and that's plastic. It's where it's at the end game. You know, if uh if you if you bite that dick off and swallow, that doesn't make you a true vegetarian or or vegan, I think. I think that's where it lies. So don't bite dicks off, you know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

I'm not in the fuck me to mine, but yeah. No one no one likes teeth in the head, job, do they?

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Fuck me, man. I've got a question for you. How are you taking bras off? Because I suck at it. It's one of the my I'm a visual guy and I can't see what's going on back there, and it's a real mood killer. It's it's it's horrible. Seriously, sometimes my wife's on the phone.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Seriously want to know.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

How I take a bra off.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Because it could be two clips, it could be three clips.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

No, fuck all that, mate. Yeah, that's bullshit. You know, the way I do it, yeah, they get the shits.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

But just cut the fucker off. Oh, so bring scissors to the park. Right, okay. That would make things a lot simpler. Yeah. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

They of course you gotta buy a new bra.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

It's just it's not w it's just just have some spares in your in your mental.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Yeah, it's yeah, you know, it's it's with all the the the dilemma going through your head, what should I do? You just go, fuck it, cut it, it's gone.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

I think it's I think a lot of babies hadn't been made because the guy couldn't get the bra off. For sure. There's been some real moot. Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

You know she can't get pregnant if you tit fuck her.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Hang on, since when? I thought that was always a thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yeah, didn't you know that? So fuck dude. No wonder you know those kids, man.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Exactly what I know, kids. Yeah. I've been doing it wrong the whole time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's uh yeah, you should be down the other end, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Well, there's two old down there. Well, some of it's old. You can get confused. Hey, did we talk about that a couple of weeks ago? That campaign.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Oh, which campaign?

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Not on, it's not on.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

A little bit. Yeah, we touched on it.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Just the tip. We just just the tip. If it's not on, it's not on. Yeah, condoms.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Yeah. Now that's starting to promote if it's Yeah, because everyone's taking it to heart and how's this? They actually did what was suggested.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

And now we've got basically next to zero population growth.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Right, so are they saying even if out of wedlock? Um I guess fucking girlfriend, boyfriend get stuck in like rabbits.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Just go and get stuck in.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Okay, okay. Start making kids.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Come to Gimpy, fuck you. Just come to Gimpy, man. Seriously, they don't fucking care if it's on or off.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

I'm pretty sure that's on the sign as you come into Gimpy. Welcome to Gimpy. If it's not on, great.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Yeah, if it's not on, we love you even more.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, mate, what else we got on the agenda today?

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Well.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Dating advice. Dating advice. We always like to start with um Study Eddie's dating advice.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

I was uh a weird one. We talk about red flags. Yes, yeah. So I started I guess uh had a couple dates with this chick years ago. And um she was either split up from her husband or or in the process of getting a divorce.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

And um one day I get a phone call.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

And um it's uh ex-husband.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

And basically asking me what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Yep. And hang on, red flag.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Red flag, it's a big red flag, eh?

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Yep, yep. And maybe You don't know this guy from Barris.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

No, I had never met him before. Yep. And maybe we should get together and have a beer and talk about it. Yeah. I mean, that's the second one. It's a double red flag right there. That says, Yeah. And I'm just going, you know, he's yo, what's going on? And I'm going, is this guy completely fucking stupid?

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

So I felt like going, I'm trying to fuck your ex-wife, mate, okay?

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And um, and so that put it down on the date. I didn't go on the date because of the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

I just didn't go, I just I just walked away from it. I just thought so many red flags to the cards, yeah. It's like, and the fact that he's got into her phone. Yeah, I'm just going that.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah, yeah. Uh, so hang on, he rang from her phone. Her phone. Oh, that's a triple red flag right there.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

So he's gone through the phone trust issues. It's it's weird, eh? Yeah, very weird. So she must have talked about me.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

And then he's gone through the phone to find my number.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

And then rang me.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Was there a trail of text messages between the two of you? Yeah, there would have been. Okay, so he would have seen that as well, probably.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Yeah. Okay. That's a I think uh three strikes and you're out.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

Probably that's uh Yeah, I just but it's a lot of fucking efforts to go through, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 14:17

It is. It is. So how did that conversation end? It's like, have a good life, mate. I'll probably never talk to you ever again and uh tell you this is. I say somewhat.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Okay. I didn't tell him to fuck off.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

You're thinking about it though, weren't you? I thought about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

And I just said, mate, I think I just laid it out. Yeah. So you split up.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

And she's doing what she wants.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

This is yeah, okay. Right. So then how do you really none of your business. So what what's the next text message to her? Oh I rang her.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

You rang her and said, No, I just rang her and I just I just went um he's rung me. Yeah. And blah, blah, blah. And she was apologetic about it.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

I don't think it's a good idea that we date or go out.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Yeah, I just went, I Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Nah. And I ju I see this is going back when I first got sober.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Right, okay. So I really didn't need more drama, extra drama.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Extra drama of it.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Yeah, yeah. So basically the the the steady eddy piece of advice here is uh beware of the red flags and beware quickly and let maybe let you go. Because when you're 20, you sometimes just override the red flag with maybe there's some sex at the end of the rainbow. And you just say, uh, I'll maybe let that red flag go.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Oh, yeah, yeah, standing cock has no conscience. It that's yeah. When you're 20 years old. Is that what Confucius said? I think so. And he said it with uh a gin accent. Yeah. Oh Confucius. Standing cock has a man who has standing cock has no conscience.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

That's brilliant. Yeah, he's a wise man. But he is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

But it's true when you're that young, you don't care.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Yeah, you let uh you let a lot of things go under the the breach, I think.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Yeah, well it's you're young, dumb, full of cum, and you really got an ego that big that you don't care.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But the older you get, you see those red flags and like, okay, I'm pulling the pin.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

I think you Yeah, it's just uh I don't know yeah. It's a kind of a different red flag. Yeah, well, you can probably Part of it is huh, I'm 57 years old. Yeah, I'm cerebral palsy in the wheelchair, yeah, and I really don't want to fucking fight anyone.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

No, no, that's that's the truth of the matter.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

I mean that's basic logic.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

How many points of virility do you think you've lost since you're 20, like in your 20s? Because I've thought about this the other day. It's like because when I was 20, a a slight breeze would blow and I'd go stand in the corner and tell my armate went down. Right? These days it's not as I think it's gone down about five percent for me. Testosterone, you know, all the above.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

It depends see it depends, mate.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Yeah. But I'm st I'm I'm still ranky as hell.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

I get all I oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

We've gone down that rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Yeah, man, it's fucking I get horny at fucking weird fucking things now.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Like what? Is it AI?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

I I get horny over AI. Yeah. I get horny over some characters when I'm playing the game.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

You know, because then look, the the gr graphics and gameplay that they got in the next generation games.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

You just go, I know this isn't real, but fuck, that looks good.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

You're confused. Well, you you're fighting your brain.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

But my cock doesn't get confused.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

No, it doesn't. No.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

It just stands at its engine and goes, Yep, we're here to play.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

You just gotta you just gotta make sure you grab the right joystick.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

I don't fucking care at that stage, mate.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Oh, jeez. Yeah, yeah. It's funny, like, you know, what turns you on. And I think in some ways you feel like it's gonna wane a lot the older you get, but it's still present, it's still there.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

No, it's still there. Yeah. And it depends on the we I know this is weird, but it it depends on the time. This is gonna sound weird. It depends on the time of the month.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

For you?

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Please explain. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 19:08

I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

What do you want to cycle?

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Most people. Because there's some parts of the month I've noticed that I'm fucking hornyer than other parts of the month.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Can you tell me what they are now and we'll make sure we won't schedule a podcast for those days?

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Make sure it's looking really good.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Are you actually sitting in a chair right now or are you using the force? I always use the force. That's interesting. So you've actually worked out that certain times of the month you're hornier than others. Yeah. Wow. Okay. All right. I don't know why. Okay. So yeah. Yeah. I think it's just a 24-7 thing for me.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

No. I can go for a while.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

And then I'll just go ballistic for a month for uh a week or something.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Right. Okay. Is it is like what games is is the does you get it turned on by? Like, is it one certain game in particular? Or is it every game? Could it be um NBA jam?

SPEAKER_00 20:22

No, it's mostly Star Trek Online.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

I know that's a weird thing to say, but they've got coming out of your mouth, no.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

It's that's right of the bill.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

You can you can like when you build your character, yeah, they can have So it's like an avatar? Yeah, avatar. Yeah. You can have uh certain stances.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

So they look gruff.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

They look relaxed.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

What is your avatar avatar?

SPEAKER_00 20:57

One of them looks seductive. Seductive. Yeah. And she wiggles her hips.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Hang on. So you play a she?

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah. Okay. I quite I've got a few main characters.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

So I'll I'll play.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Always. Always when I'm gaming.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

I'll do one of each.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Because I like to see how good they're um it's like you're interacting in this game too with other players, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Some games. But also I like to see how the developers whether they've developed male or female characters equally.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Whether if you play a female character on the same level, whether it's easier or whether it's uh just the same.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

And I found that a lot of them are easier. I'm female.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

So you get treated differently on the online game because you are a female and you look a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Wow. That's interesting. Not all. Yep. But some. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

And not only online games, um, games are download.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Right. And so then every now and again you'll play a a muscle bulky guy. Yeah, just to start just to see what happens. What happens. And so how do you get treated when you're playing that character?

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Um it's less forgiving when you're in the battle.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You know, instead of if they take you out.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

So basically you can take someone down with a clip, you know, of a hangout.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

If you're female and a male, it'll take a clip and a half or two clips.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

And there's the same um um uh degree of difficulty.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

So it's it's nuancy, but you can see subtle.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Yeah, and you don't notice it and look, I'm talking about Fallout 4, which I've been playing for over a decade.

SPEAKER_03 23:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

So it's taken a while to figure it out. Um Skyrim's another one, and both games are done by Bethesda. So uh it's something. I mean, if there's any people out there who a game is who have noticed it.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Also, uh reach out if you're getting a stiffy while playing the game. We want to know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

We reach out physically or metaphorically, which will not only give you stiffy, you know, I mean, male or female, which fucking if you're male or female, let it which which game turns you on.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Let us know if you're playing with one joystick or two. Where do we sit? Yeah, that's intriguing. That is, because I'm not I'm not privy to the game world, but I'd imagine it's getting so realistic and so true to life that you could get a little bit confused. It's like, that chick's hot. Oh, that guy could beat the shit out of me, or you know, it becomes real.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

And and especially I think it's either next year or the year after is the next generation of consults.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

So it's going to the next level.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

There'll be PlayStation 6 will come out.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

What are you using at the moment? I'm on five. Five, right. Okay. So it's just gonna go again to another level of reality.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Yeah, well, I've got five, then I've got five enhanced.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

And then it's going to go a step above.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

What does that mean? Like it's it's um H T?

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Oh, it's 4K or it's 4K, it's a good thing. Yeah, okay. Yep. All right.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

So moves at a faster rate and blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Refresh rate's good. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, so that just makes it even more real.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

Yeah, gotcha. All right. Far out.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

He's been playing the older games.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

You know, and that that's what a lot of um gaming companies are doing now.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

They're re-releasing the game in a faster rate.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Yeah, gotcha. Okay. What do you remember the first game you ever played as a kid?

SPEAKER_00 25:34

After me, I the Pac-Man and Space Invaders.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Yeah. And if you do you every now and again just go for nostalgic reasons, go back and have a crack at those games? Fuck no. No, they're too old. This is the stuff now.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

No, it's just I've I like RPGs. Okay. Role-playing games.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Yeah, right. I don't like just I thought that was a military term. RPG. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

No, I do I don't like just standard shit 'em up or whatever. Yeah, okay. I've got to be story driven.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I mean, one of my favorite games at the moment is Ghost of Yote. Yep. Um I mean, Fallout Forbes are always good for a story-driven game.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Okay. So ask the punters at home. What's their favorite game?

SPEAKER_00 26:23

What's your favorite game? And what do you think of the Black Flag remake which is coming to delayed it, so it'll be this year sometime. But your thoughts on whether you think Black Flag was the best Assassin Creed game? Um, and what do you think of them remaking it?

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Good. Okay. Alright. What's next? Star Trek Academy.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Star Trek Academy. The series. What's going on there? Okay. This is a new series um developed by Paramount Plus.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Paramount Plus? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

And um I've been in Trekkie since I was nine years old.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

So I've seen a lot of things come and go. Um, but this is just Is William Shatner coming back? No.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Would you like to see him come back? Just play a cameo? Leonard Nimoy.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Well, he wouldn't in Starplane Academy anyway. Right. Because that's um Kirk would be long dead one hour. Yeah, okay. He's in the future.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

Okay. Can I just level with you? Oh, like I'm I'm into films and storytelling and all that. I've never watched a Star Trek. I've done all the Star Wars. Like I know there's a battle between Trekkies and Star Wars, but I just never got into Star Trek, you know? Yeah. I can do that, but you know, that's about it. Am I missing out?

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

None of the new stuff.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Um you're missing out. Oh, I made these the original.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Then you got next generation.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

So the original was a TV series, wasn't it? Yeah. Okay. And then it developed into movies.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Yeah. So you're talking about the TV series that you really got into?

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Yeah. Yeah. And then you got the next generation. Yep. You got Voyager. Yep. Got D Space Nine.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

You got Enterprise.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yeah. Okay. Right. So where should I start if I was going to if there's gonna I'm there's gonna be a couple of punters like me that aren't into it. Where would you start?

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Okay. If I if if I were you I would I would seriously start in Star Trek Enterprise.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Okay. Start there.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Because it's before the Federation.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

Is right at the beginning of Starfleet.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

So there is no academy at this stage. Okay. There is no United Federation of Planets. Yep. None of that. Right. This is when they first go out into space in experimentals ships.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

And so what was the dopamine hit for you as a nine-year-old kid to say, I just want to keep watching Star Trek, I love it. Is it the storytelling? Is it just the imagination behind it all? What got you hooked? Everything. Both. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Fuck you. You flip your your communicator open.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Beat me up.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Beat me up, Scotty.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Gone.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Yeah. What was the robot in Star Trek? Wasn't there a robot?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Data.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Data. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

So that that's not into the next generation.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

Right, okay. All right. So start at the first gener though. What's what do you say the first generation?

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Enterprise.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Okay. All right. Start there.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

So chronologically, it would go Enterprise.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Then Star Trek Original.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Then you would go to Next Generation.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

And within that time period, Voyager and Deep Space Nine happen at the same time. Okay. Virtually at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Right. Is William Shatner in the whole thing?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

No.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

No. What's he at the start? Middle end? Where is where did he come in?

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Oh he's he's at the start. He's at the start. The original series.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Right, okay. Alright. And same Len Lennon Nimoy. He had a break?

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Well, Len Lennon Nimoy's the only one that's been there was there since the pilot episode.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

There you go. Okay. Yep. A bit like MASH. All through the TV series. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Alright, so start there.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Yeah, and there's rumors at the there's always rumors. But there's rumours at the moment. You know, Scott Bakula.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

So what was his series he was in? Um Quantum Leap. Quantum Leap. That was brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Yeah. Well, he plays Captain Archer in Enterprise.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

Okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

And they're thinking about rebooting a series because his character, Captain Archer, becomes the first president of the United Federation of Planets.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

So they so they're thinking of bringing back him and a few of the crew and telling you about the early days.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

And what's Scott Bacula these days?

SPEAKER_00 32:20

He must be 70. 70 odd.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

But that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

He can play a president.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Bring him back. Quantum Blake was a great show. I remember watching those shows. Great show.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

Starfleet Academy is like the biggest woke of fucking bullshit shit. You know? We've got uh in this series you got uh a race of people that doesn't even exist in the canon of Star Trek.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

And you've got a fucking what boils down you know a Klingon are a warring race of people.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

Yes, correct.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Well this Klingon is fucking Moonbeams and Sunshine. He's a fucking hippie cling on. Jesus, all right, so they're now fucked in.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

And they're trying down trying to make it all inclusive, right?

SPEAKER_03 33:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

But the thing was Star Trek was always inclusive.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

From the original pilot episode.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Yeah, okay. Yeah. What's happened? Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Just fuck with one and then go, oh, instead of um, you know, uh making sure our fans stay here.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

Yeah. You gotta have equal rights for the Klingons as well.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

We'll go for some other minority of of society that doesn't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah, right, right, right. Oh god. Okay, so uh Star Trek Academy, the series. Don't fucking watch it. Don't watch it. No. Don't go there.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

Look, look, look. I'm not I'm not encouraging drugs. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

But take some if you're gonna watch this.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Oh yeah, get fucking stoned off your head before you watch it. Because that's the only way you'll be able to watch it.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Coming from a man who hasn't had drugs in what? Oh yeah. 20, 25 years.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

22 years.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

22 years. Yeah. Hey, do you want to take a break and we'll go to the live and um we'll just see if there's a couple of questions?

SPEAKER_00 34:50

So what we're talking about now is doctors with triple talk. We all know what double talk is. It's bullshit, bullshit, right? But triple talk is bullshit upon bullshit wrapped in facts that you won't fucking understand.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Can you give us an uh example?

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Yeah, ask the doctor what's wrong with you.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

And they tell you, but they don't really tell you.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

It could be this.

SPEAKER_03 35:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

But we're not really sure yet.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Um, but do this anyway because it's gonna help you. It may help. If it is. Okay. But we don't know if that it is this, but take this just in case it is.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Gotcha. Okay. All right. And we're trying to eliminate one thing.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

Yeah. Okay. Gotcha. All right. Triple talk, the the triple talk, mate.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

You just go, what the fuck are you on about?

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Yeah. So is this happening to you?

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Yeah, all the time, mate. Okay. All the time.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

All right.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

I had one of the best doctors uh uh at the private hospital. But I he bamboozled me every time he fucking talked to me.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Yeah, right. Okay. So you walked out none the wiser.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

No, I knew sort of what was happening. Okay. But I not really clear.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

It was an enigma wrapped in a puzzle.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Yeah, sometimes you gotta just go no.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

Right. I'm not what so what, no, I'm not taking that? Um that makes no sense.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Can you please make no sense?

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Yeah, okay. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

You know, there we go. There we go. So we go and send me home, and because I'm I got we know hand function problems, yeah. I couldn't do my own dressing and all that. Yeah. Right? So it goes back to that again. And it's like we can help you, but we can't help you because you're not 65.

SPEAKER_02 37:21

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

We can only help you when you're 65. Right. And I'm thinking in- Can you hold out for that long? I'm thinking, fuck, I won't have a foot by then.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Well, we were discussing this last time. There's grey matter that we all fall into sometimes in life and in certain stages.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

But you would think, mate, is it's they're so on to keeping people in their own houses.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

You know, so they don't weigh down the the care housing, nursing home, fucking whatever.

SPEAKER_03 38:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

But they forget about people they that they don't fit into their little fucking pigeonhole.

SPEAKER_03 38:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Well it's I still I look after myself. The only things I can't really do is dressings.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Um, mowing the lawn and going shopping.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

I can go shopping, I just can't get anything back to the fucking car with the scooter and a fucking trolley.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah. So you get um food delivered.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Or I get a carrot to help me.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Gotcha. But uh So you give them a shopping list, they head down to Woolies.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

Yeah, or I go with them.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

Gotcha, gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Yeah, depending on at the moment I'm just getting him to do it because of the foot. Right, okay. But um uh the powers that be don't account for anything outside what they perceive.

SPEAKER_03 39:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Okay, you're sixty-five or over, you can't do this, that or that, so we'll give you this.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

But if you're under this, yeah, you still need it, but we can't help you.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you found a way around the grey, the grey hole, the gray matter for the grey hole. Yeah. Always find a way around the gray hole. Yeah, don't disappear down that one. No. Yep. Um, and so but uh now the foot's flared up again.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

It's flared up again. Yeah. Um they'd think that um it just you didn't get the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

Right, okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

And with cellulitis, yeah, um, all it takes, mate, is a micro abrasion.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Do you know what I mean by that?

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Yeah, you're saying like the the bandage or like a the bandage just rub it's rubbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

A rub and bang, it'll it'll uh inflame it.

SPEAKER_02 40:15

Into the pores.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

And then uh it'll be infected.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Yeah into the blood, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

And then the bacteria takes hold and fuck. But the good thing is I got it, I I did the right thing. I went to the hospital and said this is what's going on, and the guy figured out.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

And it's amazing, this guy his doctor. Yeah. And I understood him, yeah, which is fucking phenomenal.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

But he he could tell when he took the dressing off.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

What was going on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

He said it had as this is a bit scary, but he goes, it's got a bit of a whiff to it.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's never good.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

And he goes, that's when I know that the infection's still there. Yeah, okay. It's not bad.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

You did well getting in here fast.

SPEAKER_03 41:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

But that's what's happening. It's come back.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

And because of that skin and everything around the wound.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:28

I got pictures of me foot. Fuck, mate. Even you know.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

Swelling?

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Oh, mate, it's like it's pretty gross.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

And my last picture is still pretty gross, but compared to the first one, it's a lot fucking better.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

And that's still with the infection.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

First one's like chocolate and rainbows competitor.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

Oh, mate, it's just yellow, inflamed, fucking.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

I know we're getting more viewers just by this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

Mate, it's a no, it's amazing. It's amazing. I never thought I would have to fucking be so proactive.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

In a fucking foot.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

You know? You know it's a foot you fuck with. Yeah. Well, no, it's it's it's the difference between a week on my back getting intravenous um antibiotics and staying at home and getting um oral antibiotics.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

Yeah, right. Okay. That's the difference. Oh, it speeds the process up a bit.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

Yeah, but if you're proactive, yeah, then you don't end up on your fucking back.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

In hospital with a fucking doctor not being able to find your fucking vein.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

So that's why we uh there's a bit of hiatus on the tour, a bit of a postponement.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Yeah, it's not it's not look, we're not um cancelling anything. Yep. The second leg is still going ahead at this stage. Yep. Um, it's just giving me another three weeks to get my shit together and hopefully get rid of this fucking infection. Yeah. So if there's any which one was either all.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

So if there's anyone out there that's got a natural way to boost your immunity and so on, I'll try anything at the moment. Sunshine?

SPEAKER_02 43:36

You tried that?

SPEAKER_00 43:37

Yeah. Sun does it, vitamin D does it. Um sauna. Tried that. I told you I'm not fucking buying it.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

That's my little plug for the day. Sure, mate. Yeah, yeah. Sure, mate. Here I would just never do it. What is it? Zeneva. Zeneva.com. That's where the shirt is. It's all bloody. Okay. And the only reason I'm on this show is to plug my fucking sauna company.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

Zeneva? So study any podcast brought to you by zenivis.com. And it's a it's a it's a sauna. Yes, that's right. For what? $5,000 is the four and a half.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Yeah. Four and a half. That's it. Yeah. Fuck you. Get in fast.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

I recognition. Fucking give me one.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

Um nutrition. Yeah, the layer way plan. There's after pay. And zip money's coming. Yeah. Um nutrition. Nutrition's good to Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 44:50

I've been looking at that as well.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

Um, I've been looking at um a lot of a lot of stuff is and I don't know whether it's good, bad, or indifferent.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Yeah, talk me through it.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Like cumric and antioxidants.

SPEAKER_03 45:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

They all look they say it's all going to do this and that.

SPEAKER_03 45:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

I don't believe that, but I believe that it can help. If it can boost what's happening now, then like antibiotics and make them I don't know, work quicker or whatever, but I'll try anything.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

How'd you feel after the deluxe package when you came on my podcast? So the breath work, the ice bath, the sauna.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Yeah, that was good, but all all those other people that followed me were a bit puffy.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 45:46

Well, they didn't go for the whole hog, did they?

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Oh, there's a lot that don't, yeah. It's in the ice bath. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's the sometimes it's the biggest, bearliest guys, um, like they're out after 30 seconds. My brother, he can't do more than 30 seconds. He's like, Man, come on. Fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

What are you?

SPEAKER_02 46:05

Come on. But yeah. Don't be shy. Well, maybe ask the people at home what's some natural things. Yeah, I just did. Oh, did you? Okay. We'll get back to the talking to him, man. He doesn't even fucking know I'm talking to him. I'm just thinking about my brand.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

Fucking these normal fucking people, mate. Fuck. All right, we've got um You go off out of the monster, man. They just don't fucking listen to you.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

Okay, um, with the podcast, we've got uh we always end it with a question from the the punters at home. Um this is uh this is a crucial question, this one. Um someone wants to know, do you have a big dick? That's uh the question from the punters at home.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

I do have a big dick. Truly? I do.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Okay, all right. How do you know? Have you you know what are you comparing it to? The hand? Have you measured it? I've got big hands. Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:07

Big feet.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

That's the general rule, son.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

Yeah. Well, how tall are you?

SPEAKER_00 47:13

Why is it that everyone wants to know about my dick?

SPEAKER_02 47:16

I don't know. I don't want to know about your dick. I'm not that cool. Well, you asked the question. Well, no, it's I feel like I've been set up here.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

For someone who doesn't know what want to know about my dick, you seem to ask me a lot about it.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

I'm uh I I saw a thing with Adam Sandler the other day, and he had he's got Shaq in a few of his movies. Yeah. And he said, I'm not gay, but I was curious, like, because Shaq was in having a shower, and he was just curious as to how big his old fella was. And I'm kind of like, how how big is is Shaq's old fella? Like it's got to be, you know, half the size of his it's gotta be down to his knees, hasn't it? So look, I'm it's not a gay thing, but it's like there's a curiosity.

SPEAKER_00 47:56

No, it's not a gay thing, it's not a gay at all, yeah. It's not gay enough. I just wonder how big his dick is.

SPEAKER_02 48:05

But not gay enough, no. But you so are you about 190 centimetres, 195? Oh fuck, I don't know. Heights. I'm talking not girl. You'd be about six foot. 191. 191, okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

About six foot three.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

Yeah, okay. So if you had a small member, that would be kind of disproportionate to your body, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_00 48:24

It'd be a little I got a big mouth, I got a big dick. Yeah, okay. Work that one out.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

There you go. When you answer these questions, then people don't come up to you on the street because they know. It's like, yeah, he's got a big dick. Don't need to know anymore. I've listened to the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

It's the only part of my body that's straight. Right.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

I don't know about when you had the iceberg though. That could be a different story. I think you had two belly buttons at that stage. Most people do. Disappears.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

I'm not most people. No, I know.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

Okay. Well, there you go. For everyone to know, he's got a big dick. Oh, I've got a big dick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

You happy now?

SPEAKER_02 49:04

Yeah. Alright, anything else to talk about, wrap it up with?

SPEAKER_00 49:12

No, I've got a few other things, but I think we'll well, there's my favorite one, I'll say for the next podcast.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Um, have we got new dates from the postponed dates? No, yeah, mate. Alright, so check the website out.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Yeah, check the website. Um this uh this only happened yesterday. I rang Jabba, my new manager, and told him what was going on, and and he rang the agent for Sydney. Yeah. And yeah, the agent just said, We need to make that decision like today or tomorrow. Yeah. We were going to leave it to next week. Yep. And he said, uh So basically the first He didn't have the shit as far as Jabby said. Yep. Um but he wanted to get out in front of it.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Yeah. So the first three leagues uh three weeks of the tour.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:09

Yeah, okay. So you're still done the last week of um Feb.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

Yeah, okay, all right.

SPEAKER_00 50:15

And I think of first week of March.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

March. Okay, all right. So check the website.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

Yeah, check it and see what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 50:26

Yep, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Okay. All right. Well, I think we're good. Anything else we need to talk about, discuss, besides your big dick.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

I love you, see that. I love you, guys, and I'll see you later.