EAST TEXAS UNFILTERED w/J. Chad Parker: Featuring Sandra Bailey Crowe

In this episode of East Texas UNFILTERED, J. Chad Parker sits down with his longtime friend Sandra Bailey-Crowe for a real and heartfelt talk about kidney failure, dialysis, and the search for a living kidney donor. Sandra shares her story from growing up in Tyler and spending 30 years as a teacher, to the health struggles that changed everything after COVID and years of fighting diabetes, high blood pressure, and pulmonary hypertension. She explains what dialysis is like, why it wears you down, and how getting a transplant could give her a whole new life.

This conversation is also a clear call for help. Sandra is O positive and has been on dialysis since April 20, 2023, with two recent kidney offers that did not work out. A living donor could be the difference maker, and Sandra’s faith, joy, and strength shine through as she keeps saying, “God, I trust you.” If you have ever thought about being an organ donor, or you know someone who has, please listen, share this episode, and help us reach the right person.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

But a lot of people I've heard before their family member gave them a kidney and saved their life or a heart track. That was my intention. You know, I have you identified where you are in the system.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

I have an idea because I've been called twice.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

You did not accept the offer.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Well, I did accept the offer. The kidney failed the test.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Your preference would be a live donor. For living longer. Yes. Probably healthier. Have they told you if you've got a live donor kidney transplant that at 58 that you could likely live the rest of your life? This is a a game changer and a lifesaver.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Very much so for a live donor.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Let's raise a meter.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Welcome to another episode of East Texas Unfiltered. I'm Jay Chad Parker, and I'm your host. Today I've got a guest who I've known a long time. I haven't seen her in a while, but we've reconnected under circumstances related to our high school days together. We have a 40th reunion coming up. It's there where I talked to Sandra Bailey and learned about something uh very serious that she's had going on and needs help with. This podcast is a call out to anyone who may or ever thought that they would be an organ donor. My wife and I both are organ donors on our driver's license, but those are basically called deceased organ donors. We're looking for a living organ donor uh for Sandra Bailey, uh, and she's going to tell you what a wonderful person she is and why uh she needs your help. Sandra, thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Now, it's so good to see you outside the context of the organ uh donor thing that we're talking about, because we go we go all the way back to what was Robert E. Lee High School, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Um and hopefully uh hopefully what you remember of me was that I was kind and and and always, always. You were a cheerleader for me. Well, uh yes, I know we had some classes together. Yes. Um it's just it time goes by so fast, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yes, it does. I mean I can't believe we're here.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

A lot of life happens.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

And for you, we're gonna talk about that life and a lot of life, you know, good, bad, struggling, all those things have happened to you thus far, haven't they?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Yes, they have.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

But what what struck me last night when we were on that Zoom call was just how how much joy you seem to express uh under circumstances that most people I'm not sure could really handle. Yeah. You know, and and I know that it's based on your faith. I can tell from the way that you talk and only because of my faith. Well, let's talk about you early on. You were born and raised in Tyler, Texas. Yes. Um I know you went to Robert E. Lee High School because that's I don't know where you went before that.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Uh I went to Birdwell Elementary and I went to Hog Middle School.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

All right. And so you get to Robert E. Lee and ultimately you graduate in 1986? Yes. From there, I know you ended up being a teacher. So from there, where did you go? Did you go to college? You go to junior college? What did you do?

SPEAKER_01 3:15

I did. I went to TJC because UT at the time was only a two-year college. So I did TJC. I went all the way through there uh studying computer science. Then I decided I wanted to be a nurse. And then the day that I was getting ready to sign for my uh diploma, I decided I want to be a teacher. And all those classes I had taken, you know, lots of times, parents could sort of fuss about their kids wasting their uh, you know, the hours and everything. But I only had to get one more credit to be a teacher because the main program was over at UT Tyler at the time. So by the time I got to UT Tyler, I had enrolled in the educational department.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

What caused you to change your mind from wanting to be a nurse to wanting to be a teacher?

SPEAKER_01 4:13

It was something in my heart and my spirit. It just all of a sudden I was like, what do you because when computer science, I wasn't really happy at staring at a computer screen.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Yeah, I mean it doesn't seem as interactive as being in a classroom.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Exactly. And then with the nurse, I'm so sensitive. And I was like, you know, people are gonna die on me. Am I gonna be able to handle that? You know? And then it dropped in my spirit to be a teacher. And uh that's one thing I can say that I heard God on, and that was being a teacher.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

And you ended up being a teacher for what, 30 years? 30 years. I know you taught early in uh in Tyler, uh, Boulter.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Boulter Middle School.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Uh was that primarily where you taught while you were in Tyler?

SPEAKER_01 5:06

It was. That was my very first teaching job. And I did my student teaching at John Tyler. But my very first job was at Boulter Middle School. My seventh grade science teacher hired me. He was the principal.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Who was that?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Nathan Hollis.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Yeah, I was trying to think if I might know him.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

He used to be the principal at um at John Tyler High School for a little while.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Well, you know, you had that computer science background that you had worked on at in college. Did you use any of that as a teacher when you became an educator?

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Because technology became really big.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

Right. It grew. I mean, we didn't really have cell phones when you and I were in high school. Right. And we didn't even have computers. I don't remember if we did or not. I wasn't using them.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I don't remember. I remember taking typing class.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Well, that's all I remember. That's all I is taking on a on a typewriter. Right. Like a an actual, you know, uh in the old movies typewriter. Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

And you had the and then we thought we were really doing it big when we got the electric typewriters.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Right. So, you know, we you and I have been in in we've grown up where the world has changed dramatically. Dramatically.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

I mean from And you know what? We also didn't have navigational systems.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

No, no. There was there was only maps from the gas station.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

That's right. Or either somebody gave you directions and you wrote them down or remembered them.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Yeah, you know you often wonder today, um, young people whether or not they could have gotten around like we did. Chad, I just don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

You know how you go to the grocery store and you give them five dollars and your change is a dollar fifteen. They can't count back from 385, 45. Right. They get so confused.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

It's a skill, you know, it's almost like cursive, where it's being eliminated from civilization because it's being replaced by a keyboard or a phone, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Yes, they no longer teach the kids to write in cursive.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Right. And it's, you know, I don't know what that means, if it means anything at all, but it's it's a way that we r wrote and express language, yes, English, that's going to go away.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

And it was your very own Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Like your mark. You know, that is uh interesting that you say that. Uh each person's handwriting had a style all of its own. Yes. And there even were handwriting experts in criminal cases and in, you know, will contest cases to prove that that was the person's handwriting. That's true. Right? Yes. And so with that going away, um, you know, I don't know. Will people still sign things with uh other than electronically?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

That's true.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Um But anyway, you you get into the teaching field and I know you eventually moved to Railette and teach there.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 7:59

Um how many years were you there?

SPEAKER_01 8:01

I was there. I left there. 2007, I left here, and I was there fifteen years.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

You were there fifteen years teaching uh one or more subjects? What were you teaching? I was teaching English. All right. Uh a far a far cry from the computer science days back at UT Tyler. Yes. Uh what grade level were you teaching in English?

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I had sixth, seventh, eighth, and tenth.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

You know, back then, uh I don't even remember what. It seemed like we by the time I got to high school, English class, we were watching movies.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yes. Was that but we had to read the book and take the test first.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I mean, I was hunting the cliff notes over at the at the bookstore. Maybe I could kind of cut the cut the coin.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

That was a no-no.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Well, uh, you know, the older I got in high school, it seemed like the uh less interested I was towards the end, you know, in um, you know, the school work, right? I mean All of us uh we're ready to graduate. I mean, but that's probably was a challenge for you. Just the age of the kids. I mean, probably the older kids were either good or they were more difficult to handle.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

No.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

You were in a good school?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

They were uh yes. Um, under Dr. Marlene Hammerley at Rallitt High School, and the school had just been built. Um, with high schoolers, they come in, they sit down, they want to be there. By tenth grade, they think they know everything, they're ready to graduate, they think they're ready to graduate already. So you don't have that problem, and they're too busy trying to be cute. Whereas in middle school, you run in and one of them throws his friend's pencil in the trash can and pretends like it was him that threw it in the trash can. You got all that going, you know. Yeah. So you're not as physically busy. But with the high schoolers, you do have to be a bit more creative because they're seeing more things out in the world, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Especially now.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Yes, and to challenge their intellect and to the but the thing that middle schoolers and high schoolers have in common is that you have to prove to them that they're going to need what you have to offer them.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

Right. A lot of people struggle with that even in college, where how does this course have application in the world?

SPEAKER_01 10:35

How am I gonna use this? Because these kids now are up against things, and I don't care what walk of life you came from, these kids now are up against a lot. They have all this stuff coming at 'em. Like you were talking about the video games and you know Artificial Intelligence is is now here.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

I mean, you know, how do you know, do people learn the same ways or will they in the future?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Because they don't have to think.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

They won't have to do much thinking.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

They won't have to create.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

Um Yeah, that's gonna be interesting uh to look w what the next 10 and 20 years looks like. Yes. But I can I know you were popular. I know you've told me before that you were, you know, voted teacher of the year. Um several times. But you know, the point of this show is kind of what l leads us to your last day at Rowlett High School. Can you tell us about what happened?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Well, it was in um I moved from Rallett High School to Coyle Middle School. So you mean in my when I left the teaching profession.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Okay. I was teaching eighth grade, and um we um our school needed restructuring. So we would have to walk the kids to lunch and bat. And they had to have assigned seats. We had had several principals, you know, and so things had you know kind of gotten a little difficult on our campus. So they brought a gentleman in who was good at you know, putting things back together in a school, a principal. And um I would be walking the kids back to the classroom and I would get out of breath.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

I mean, like really out of breath, just walking on a flat surface.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

I would have to bend over around the corner. And it and it's it's not that far. And we're talking about a lady that used to walk like two to five miles a day on a treadmill and lift weights, but that started going downhill.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

So you did you think something was wrong?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I just thought maybe I was just tired.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

So you you didn't address it, you kind of let it go.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Right. I let it go.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

All right. But you were how old at this point in time?

SPEAKER_01 12:54

I was about 51 or 52.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

All right. And you had been diagnosed previously as a diabetic.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

In my twenties.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

All right. Yes. And so you were a type two diabetic, great. Right. I don't know. Did you have to take insulin or just have to watch what you ate?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

At first it was I had to watch what I ate when I was younger because I worked out all the time and I would jog. Then, you know, as we get older, we don't want to do that, so I started walking. But I did have to go to pills. And then at one time I was on insulin, and then I got off of insulin.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Did you have any other health problems like you know, high blood pressure, cholesterol, any a lot?

SPEAKER_01 13:32

High blood pressure, cholesterol, um, and my legs one morning I got up out of bed. My sister had spent the night with me in Garland, and I got up out of bed, and my legs gave way from underneath me.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

Was this due to poor circulation or something related to the diabetes?

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Well, they think it may have been some um medicine that I was taking. A reaction, a side effect. Yes. And so I ended up like on a walker, and I remember going on a cruise with my family in a wheelchair. Huh.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

And uh So how long were you how long were you at the point? Because clearly, I mean you're you're healthy and walking around now, but how long were you in a wheelchair?

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Pro the wheelchair thing was depending on where I was and how far I had to walk, and you know, so the wheelchair thing lasted maybe about a year. The walker thing maybe about a year and a half.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Are you out of teaching at this point?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I'm out of teaching.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Okay. Yes. And so when you um had that shortness of breath, um you didn't do anything about it, but it eventually led to a time when an ambulance had to come get you.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

They kept they kept having to come in and get me. And then there was this last time I bent over in the classroom and I hadn't been to lunch. This was in second period. And one of the girls got up and grabbed the phone and called the office and said, There's something wrong with Miss Bailey. Oh my God, somebody get down here. And she started crying. And then one of the boys got up and he took off running to the office, and he said, We need an ambulance. There's something wrong with Miss Bailey. And they had called the ambulance before, you know, other on other times, or or took me to the um the nurse's office, and I would go out in the ambulance, you know.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

So they kind of knew something was wrong with you there at the school?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yes. And so as I was on the stretcher and I was getting ready to go out, um, I told the principal, I said, you know what? I probably won't be coming back. I said, because these kids don't deserve this.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Because that was stressful. That's a lot of anxiety for them.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

It is, and that's the last thing I want for them. And I'm gonna try not to cry without tell with without I'm trying going to try to tell this without crying on my way out. The kids were in the hallway, the eighth grade hallway was just full. Chad, it had to be the whole school. It had to be. And they were saying, bye, Miss Bailey. Bye. Bye, we love you. Bye, Miss Bailey. Just it was like a parade. You know how sometimes when the special needs kids are getting ready to go do the Special Olympics and the the school gets out with signs, it looked like that, except for they didn't have the signs. That's what it was like. Because it's a long hallway and the teachers were out there, and I got in the car with my um um I got in the ambulance and I just started boo-hooing, boo-hooing. But I can't remember if it was the ambulance or if there was one time my brother came and got me, because I have a brother who lives up there, and if I call and said, I need you to come get me, be right there. You know, and you take me to the hospital and get me checked out. So I had had a lot of ins and outs, you know, with that pulmonary hypertension, you know, and all and I found out that's what that was, the shortness of breath.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

That's what it was.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Pulmonary hypertension.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

I mean, I guess are you retired from teaching before COVID in 2020?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Um. I had been on leave of absence, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And so I moved to Tyler and my intentions were to apply to teaching Tyler. And so in May of twenty twenty, 'cause we got married in March of twenty twenty.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

That's what I was about to say. Had you met your husband, Roderick Crow, at this point? Mm-hmm. I had met him. Okay. And you guys got married in March of twenty twenty.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

And I'm su the schools were not open during that period of time where you were gonna apply And here and Tyler. Maybe come back. All right. Mm-hmm. And did you ever apply and get a job here in Tyler when you came back?

SPEAKER_01 18:37

I didn't get to because in May of 2020 is when I caught COVID and I was in the hospital for twelve days, and that I found out is what did just plummeted my kidney function to go down.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

And you know that because they were probably monitoring all of your vital signs, including the kidneys, while you're in the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Now, were you one of those people who uh w was put on a ventilator during those days?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

No, I wasn't. I felt like I needed one because I literally felt like I was fighting for my life, but I wasn't on the ventilator.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Well, it's probably, you know, providence from God, because most people that got on a ventilator, or a lot of them, you know, had a hard time surviving. Oh man, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

That's true, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

Um, so for whatever reason, you didn't get on a ventilator and you eventually made a recovery and got out of the hospital. Yes. Now, are you you're not doing dialysis, you don't have kidney problems at that time. This is just when it begins.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Right. Uh at least I didn't know it was as bad as it as it was, yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Right, because kidney function's hard to know. It's not like you can take your blood pressure and and know what your numbers are. I mean your kidneys are I don't know how you find out short of a blood test or something else, do you?

SPEAKER_01 19:59

What happened is um after I got out of the hospital, they uh recommended that I see um a nephrologist. And so I started going and they were asking me, are you ready to get on dialysis?

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Nephrologist being someone who specializes in kidneys. Yes. And as opposed to endocrinologist that specializes in what?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Diabetes.

SPEAKER_03 20:27

Okay. For people that are watching this show and have heard those names thrown away. Right. Now we kind of understand who these different specialists are.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Right, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

So your numbers must have been uh pretty low if the nephrologist said, Hey, are you ready to get on dialysis? Right. Did you go and get on dialysis?

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Not right then, I didn't. I didn't realize how bad it was. And this is why I tell people in the communities, go to your checkups, go get checked out. You know, if you see something, don't say, Oh, well, let's stop. Go go get checked out.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Well, what we're gonna learn about your case and our and our hope and our our plea and our search for a kidney donor is that either getting on the kidney wait list or dialysis starting on a regular basis are the are the two things that set the timeline. That's right. Right? Yes, it does. And with it being a priority system where there's uh it's an average of five years for a person to get a living donor, it's important to get on that wait list as quickly as possible. Right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Well, on the wait list to get a deceased donor is it takes about five years. They told me it would be about it may be about four years before I could when I got on the wait list before I could get a deceased donor. So a living donor It's a lot faster.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

It's a lot faster. Which i this show is is really about explaining to uh people the medical predicament that you are in and how it is to live, but also to to look for and ask for. For a living donor. Yes. Right? Yes. Because y there is a a database, an organ database in the United States that prioritizes people by region, blood type, tissues, that type of thing. Yes. And when you said deceased donor, that means someone like me, my wife, who we've elected to be organ donors on our driver's license, if we died in a car wreck, someone would get those organs, right? Mm-hmm. But that's not as uh that's not that's good, but it's not as good as a living donor for you.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Right. Because the deceased donor, those kidneys are known not to last as long as a living donor's kidneys.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Right. And and I I've read somewhere that uh they want uh someone to be pretty certain that they'll live five years after the transplant for it to be, you know, really a feasible or an approved surgery. Yes. Have you have you read up on this stuff? I'm sure, you know, part of it's depressing or it can be, and part of it's scary, but I mean just to know kind of what you're where you are in the system, have you identified where you are?

SPEAKER_01 23:09

I have an idea because I've been called twice to get a kidney. Uh few a couple of months ago, I was called to get a kidney. And um Who called? Baylor Scott White Dallas.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

They said, Sandy, we've got a donor. Or Sandy, we've got a deceased donor.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

We have an offer for you for a kidney.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

What was the offer?

SPEAKER_01 23:33

The offer was that uh we have a kidney for you, and the only thing that's wrong with it is there is an antibody in it that's already in your body. And but what we do is if you get transplanted, uh, we give you some medicine that gets rid of that antibody. And uh they do let you know the age of the person. They don't tell you uh if they're male or female, their name or anything like that, you know. Um maybe if I would have asked, you know, but I wasn't sure if that was information that they would give me.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Right, because you know, HIPAA absolutely and ethics and things, but a lot of people I've heard before search for people that their family member gave them a kidney and saved their life or a heart transformation.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

That was my intention.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

You know, I and so a lot of people think like that, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

That is my intention.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

All right. You did not accept the offer.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Well, I did accept the offer.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

Okay. And um But you did not get the kidney.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

The kidney failed the test.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Which test did it because I've looked into this. There's first of all, there's got to be blood type compatibility, right? Now that was correct. And you are for this audience, you are O uh positive. O positive. And so according to what I've looked at, you can only receive from another O, O positive or negative.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Right? Either one of the O's. Yes, sir. All right. And so then we got the tissue typing, which looks for these um, you know, these kind of proteins that help the immune system recognize uh what does and does not belong in your body. Right. Right? Because antibodies, you know, sometimes react to what they think are something foreign in a person's body. Right. And that's what's going to happen if they took a kidney from somebody else and put it in your body, right? Right. Um And then, like you said, there's uh I've seen this thing called antibody screening, the PRA test. Do you know much about that?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

I don't. I just know that they um that they they do one. They do a test for it. You know?

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Yeah, and I mean and it's like um I understand it uh this is as simple as I can say it, if I'm even correct, which is it's a sensitivity test for antibodies. Like, you know, if they're not very sensitive, then it don't create a lot of antibodies and it's better for you for a a match.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

So my body doesn't have to fight it.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

Right, it doesn't fight it and ultimately end up in a rejection.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Absolutely. So the first offer that you got from Baylor Scott and White for the kidney, um, it didn't match on one of these tissue or antibodies tests.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

But she said something about they put it on some sort of pump. They put it on a pump and it it failed this pump test.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Okay, maybe just the mechanics of the uh or uh of the kidney, maybe it was an older person.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Right. Well she said they were like fifty.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Okay. She they were younger than you.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yes, they were younger than me. Now, and I just remember her saying, We're so sorry, and we'll keep looking for you. All right. And I said, Okay. And then When was that? That was that was the first offer.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

The first offer. Were you on dialysis or not at the time?

SPEAKER_01 26:53

I was on dialysis.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Okay. So when did you first start uh dialysis?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

April 20th of 2023.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

All right. Have you been regularly on dialysis since then?

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Yes. I don't miss a day.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

All right. So we know that that is your kidney donor wait list date, right? Right. Yes. When you start it. So we're coming up on three years.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Um, and for a you're hoping this is the year, potentially, yeah, for a deceased donor for you to get an offer that will match.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

And I got called this past Sunday also.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

This past Sunday. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

I got called this past Sunday and um they called. I was teaching youth Sunday school, and I picked up the phone and she said, Mrs. Crow? And I said, Yes, this is from Baylor Scott White Alice, and we have an offer for you for a kidney. I said, Great. And she told me that uh this person was brain dead and she said that I was second on the list for this uh particular kidney. She said, What we are going to do, I want you to um wait until about 12 or 1230, and I'll give you a call back because what they needed to do was test the f person who was the primary person to get the kidney. And if they checked out and then wait until the kidney got there and they tested it, then they would call me for me to come to Dallas to get tested. And so people were saying, Well, why would you have to go and they already have somebody? Well, just in case there's not a matter of the person didn't work out. Right.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

I mean, yeah. I mean, the first person up, if something like the sensitivity antibodies doesn't work well with them, then they move to the next person, and that was you, number two, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 29:05

Now, and and from reading, I see that old blood types have to wait the longest because they're the most common. Right. And there's the most need for kidneys.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

And let me tell you how God favors. Let me tell you how God favors. I got on, they told me it would be four months, uh four four years. That's how long the wait list would be for me. And then they turned around and called about three or four months later. That was the first call.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

The first offer?

SPEAKER_01 29:35

I think that was in that may have been in August.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

And then August of 2023. 2025.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

So Because I didn't get on the list until 2025.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

But since you had started dialysis on a regular basis, that's it's the earlier of the two that they put you in priority. Right. So even though you didn't get on the wait list, thank goodness you'd started the dialysis earlier.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Yes. Because see, I had applied at another hospital and they turned me down three times.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

What? Turns you down for what? For to get on the wait list. Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. Uh and look is it an application process? It is. It's an application process, and they look at your health records. And yours weren't looking too good until after the triple bypass.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Well, no, this before.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

I mean, before they weren't looking before the triple bypass, it was just fine. I mean it they're the ones who had me to go do the triple bypass, and then afterward told me no again. Okay. They had told me no two times. Then she wanted my heart looked at, and I know that you're gonna talk about that later, and then afterward, they denied me again because everything looked well, and my cardiologist said she's a go. And I found out later, I don't know if I should say this, but I'm not gonna name that hospital, okay? How about they were looking at old records from way back like before before 2020.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

When you looked less healthy? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Okay, so they but they didn't have up-to-date records. Then I go to Baylor Scott White and they needed something from this hospital. Then this hospital turns around and says, Oh, you can reapply reapply with us again. But I didn't go back.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Well, I know.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

I don't you know, and I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

I just it's frustrating, obviously, because um it I mean it's your life and you're hopeful and I'm sure it's when you get a call and you get an offer, I'm sure your your hopes get up, and then when it doesn't work out, it's it's a it's a pretty big letdown.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

It is, but guess what I say? Every time, both times, even this last time, when the first donor decide he was gonna take it, when I hang up the phone, the first thing I say is, God, I trust you. I look up and say, God, I trust you.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Because that that second one, that second offer you talked about the primary was a match, and so you they didn't come they didn't come to you next, did they?

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Well, no, they didn't. But they wouldn't have called him if he wasn't a match either. But what happened is like you say I mean he was primary and th he took it and it worked with him. Right. So then they didn't use so I had to turn around and come back home. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

Right. And and that's another thing. You know, not only are your hopes getting up, but you actually have to get in a car, drive to Dallas, wait around.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Maybe get tested in some way.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I mean it's kind of a stop, go, stop, go kind of like this stuff happens at 1 30 in the morning, four in the morning, you know.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

And they expect you to get up and go right then.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Get up and go right then. Or, you know, just like they um ask me to wait a couple of hours. You know, you're kind of waiting around at your home or wherever at church until they call, and when they say, Come on, they what time can you get here? They know how far you live, yeah, you know, and everything. And then after you've done all that, sitting up all day with that and driving back home, I got about a couple of hours of sleep. And then I get up and go to dialysis.

unknown 33:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

And my body's gotta go through all of that with dialysis after, you know, all that stress. And it's it's stressful um when they call you, and then you're waiting around, you know, on your your emotions, your intellect, just everything. You're you know, in your steady praying, you know, and your physical man, it's just it's it's tiring.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

Well, I can see that, and it at least there's the hope that at some point there will be uh a deceased donor kidney available, right? Now, as far as those those kidneys, how long can they keep those preserved or alive after they're removed from somebody waiting, you know, to match up with a new person?

SPEAKER_01 34:22

I you know what, I don't even think e it's eight to twelve hours or whatever because wait, let's see. They called me at nine thirty that morning and then it was eleven thirty that night when they said the primary uh recipient is going to get is uh going to be transplanted. So that's what? That's three that's fourteen hours.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

All right. But when you go up there to Dallas and you're on the list or they've called you with an offer, are you thinking in your mind that you could go from a waiting room into a surgery and have a transplant all in a matter of hours after getting up there?

SPEAKER_01 35:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

I mean, that's kind of a wild thing to think about, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:11

And people are I look, and my family's like, are you excited? I mean, I'm excited. But but but you know, there's still that talk about mixed emotions. Right. Because if you know you're gonna say, if you know you're gonna have a surgery like the open heart, we set a date, right? But not this. You're enjoying some kids in your Sunday school class, and then in eight hours, you all of a sudden realize that you're getting ready to have a kidney transplant. Yeah. That I'm I'm I'm excited, but that's something to really turn your brain around on.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

You know, what I've read is that uh most people can live perfectly fine with one kidney. Have you understood that to be Yes, yes. You have two kidneys in your body at this moment. Yes. Uh both of them perform so poorly that they don't amount to one. I c evidently not. Right. I mean, I'm right, you're right. As you lead into dialysis, I'm trying to capture this where people can understand where I can understand. Yes. That, you know, your doctor we talked earlier said your kidney function was very poor. Yes. And since we have two, I'm assuming that both is so poor that one healthier one can handle what your body needs. Yes. That's the point of why you need a kidney. Yes, absolutely. Because without a kidney transplant, can you go to dialysis forever?

SPEAKER_01 36:41

You can, but it becomes very taxing on the body. It's bad on your heart. And I think about that after having that open heart surgery, you know, it's bad on your heart. It's hard on your body, you know. Um, I'm everybody who knows me knows I'm a vibrant person, but I'm not able to do what I would really, really like to do. I would even like to go back into the school district and do a little subbing, you know, interacting with children, still changing lives, you know, uh just as a substitute teacher.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

I mean, do you find your energy is lower?

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Can you feel that? Yes. And I'm assuming it's way lower on dialysis days.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Very. You feel like you you feel like someone has taken you and doused you in some water and then run you out real good. That's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_03 37:41

Because I mean you look great. Thank you. You know, you really do. And you know, you're you're 57 and you're uh sorry for telling her age.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

No, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:51

I I'm proud. Your birthday is coming up April 10th, and you'll be 58.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

I'll be 58.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

And so, you know, the hope is you you don't want to be on dialysis forever. Obviously, like you said, it wears out other parts of the body over time. And it's a schedule that just has to be almost demoralizing at times looking at Monday, Wednesday, Friday coming again and again and again.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

And my the the the staff there at West Tyler Dialysis Persenius, they are absolutely wonderful. It's like family there, you know. Now I look forward to seeing them, but I don't look forward to seeing that machine. But they they work so hard and they're just they're a jolly group and and they're great.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Well, let's let's pivot to dialysis itself, okay? You know, there's a lot of people that have heard that word, have heard people are on dialysis. I remember a guy uh from John Tyler named Lumpy Wickware. Yes. And Lumpy was on dialysis for quite a while, from what I understood.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

Uh he's since passed away. But uh, you know, fun fact, um, you know, the Lee John Tyler football game was a big deal back in the day. And I played quarterback, and Lumpy was a sophomore on varsity and he ran the kickoff back for a touchdown with just a little over a minute left in 1985 in the fall.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

And so, you know, we've always kind of had that, and then I've seen him around, and poor thing, he only had girls. He never had any boys.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Really?

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Right? He had all girls.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

That's right. He sure did.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

Uh he coached Pop Warner football, which is where I I reconnected and saw him is when my boys got old enough to play Pop Warner, so I would see Lumpy, you know, and but you know, that's all I heard. And I didn't really know and don't understand dialysis in general. And we're we're gonna ask you to explain it to us. You know, you g you show up three days a week and you're gonna be there for how many hours? Four hours. All right. Four hours, and you're hooked up in some way to some type of machine. Yes. What is the machine supposed to do?

SPEAKER_01 40:02

What the machine does is it cleans your blood. I have a graft here in my arm, and what they do is they take these thick needles and they stick them in my arm.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

And um When you say you have a graft, do you mean they've attached some tube or connection so that the machine can interface with it?

SPEAKER_01 40:23

It is inside of my skin. They do surgery to put it inside of my arm. And they put a needle here on this side and one here. I had graft maintenance. We can talk about that later if you want. But um, the machine takes the blood out of your body and then it puts it back in. Not all at once, though.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Right. I mean, because you need to have a certain amount of blood at all times, right? So that's why it takes so long. It's a slow process of taking out and kind of circling back and putting back in. Putting it back in. What is it doing to your blood as you understand it while it's taken out of the body?

SPEAKER_01 41:02

I know it's taken out some phosphorus because our kidneys do not uh mine don't break down phosphorus that's in foods, and uh that can weaken my bones. Uh potassium, it takes that out because uh potassium is bad. Kidneys don't break those down, and it's bad for our hearts to have that and fluid on us. So it also takes the fluid out of my body. My body does not, my kidneys do not filter fluid like everyone. And with the blood, it takes all the trash that we're eating out of our blood because we are eating um these foods that uh fast food, processed foods, things that aren't very good for us, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:58

Harder on the organs, especially the kidneys, to break down because that's what they do for our bodies.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

And um so I have to uh avoid processed food the best that I can. That's hard when you go to people like like to a family reunion.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

People think you're being funny and you can't eat, and you wonder if they feel like being bothered with you because they gotta do something special for you. So I try not and I'm sorry. Um I try not and be, you know, like just picky, but I um have to be real selective about what I eat. And uh so it cleans your blood, and then they put the blood back in you.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Yeah, that's the Then you're freezing. All right, you're cold, right? Yes. But it basically sounds like what dialysis does in that four hours each time is it removes the water in your body, a lot of it, a lot of the fluid, and it cleans the blood as clean as it can get. Right. So that you can start back over eating and drinking water or whatever, and still be okay until you get to the next dialysis date.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

Now the weekends, you really have to watch it. Because that's that's two full days. Right, absolutely. Uh and they never like us to go three full days without they without uh being dialyzed. Um and one of the other things about uh dialysis is a lot of people don't realize with me not being able to drink as much water as I would like.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

And that's why you declined the water when you came up. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yes, because I want some waterbrooker ice today. You like that little bitty ice you can kind of chew on or that slows me down from drinking too much.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

And you can't have more than thirty two ounces.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Thirty two ounces of water a day. Now that depends on what I had the day before.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

All right.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

And that depends on if I had salt in my food because I don't do salt in seasoning. It's hard to buy something that doesn't have salt in it. Right. So I have to cook fresh meat, vegetables every day. Every once in a while I have something. But there are consequences to everything that, you know, some people say, Oh, well, you're going to dialysis tomorrow, but there are some consequences when you get to dialysis. When you drink too much, it becomes it's it's uh it can become a little painful. I don't know if it's nerves or what it is, but it's hard. It's hard on your body when they have to pull a lot of fluid. And I there are people that come in there that they have to catch up. Like, one guy, they were like, We're gonna have to pull four kilograms from you. From where with me, they may have to do like one or 1.5, and they're like, You do so well, you do usually do pretty good. And I hear them tell these people they have four kilograms on them, six kilograms. It takes them from Monday to Friday to catch them up. Because you know when they go home on Monday and on Tuesday, they and you know, they just see it as maintenance. I'd love to have a slice of pizza, you know. And they were saying when you get a kidney, you have to stay hydrated. I'm looking so forward to that. And people like, well, you can have a sprite, can't you? I don't want a sprite. I want some water. So much stuff that we take for granted.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

Yeah, that's you're right. I I mean, I'm guilty of not drinking enough water.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Oh man, I wish I hate to say that.

SPEAKER_03 45:58

Didn't say that to make you jealous.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

No, it's okay. I'm like, I always tell people, I wish I could have all the water I wanted.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

But you know, I had someone uh on the show recently uh that was a type one diabetic, and the uh the insulin pump technology is really kind of what's saving his life. And it sounds like for you waiting to get a a kidney that the dialysis but for it, um your situation would not be very good, would it?

SPEAKER_01 46:27

Not at all. I was on my actually, I was on my way out of here, Chad, and I didn't even know it.

SPEAKER_03 46:33

Right, because I've never really heard anybody say a person who needs dialysis that doesn't get it, this is how they die. Have you has that been explained, you know, for motivation or to make sure that you eat right, no salt, and keep up? Has have you been told this by the healthcare providers?

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Yes. Once once I started dialysis, um, well, I had a doc I mean, you know, I had a primary care doctor who did tell me, if you don't begin eating right, you're gonna have some complications. Your kidneys are gonna fail you, da da da da. But at the time I was teaching and I heard him, but I didn't hear him. And I was staying in the classroom doing things till 8:30, 11:30 at night, you know. So I I was putting Sandra on the back burner is what I was doing. And I I would make my plate full, I try to make every game, you know, because I love is what I do, but I was not taking care of me. And I found that I couldn't take care of the kids and I had to leave them because I wasn't taking care of me, you know. And we live in a society that people kind of shun you for taking care of you, but you have to do that if you want to take care of your loved ones, you know.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

And um When when you say taking care of you, would you say that that's the way eating right? Eating right. Exercising. I mean, what about stress? Does stress have any effect?

SPEAKER_01 48:11

We didn't you know what I think a lot of people's problems is? When I say eating right, that doesn't mean eating less. It's just what you eat and the amount that you eat at one time. When you say exercise, you don't have to go to the gym and jog. Instead of parking right up front, park down at the end of the parking lot and walk. Go to Sam's. If you have to get one thing, push the buggy around there and look at stuff. There are many ways that you can do that. But um, I'm sorry, what was the other the last thing that you asked me?

SPEAKER_03 48:49

Well, we were just talking about, you know, uh taking care of yourself. Yes. And and and its relation to people not being healthy, you know, having problems with their kidneys, you know And stress. And then the final thing that I asked about was did you know stress to be some component of this?

SPEAKER_01 49:05

Yes, it is, because high blood pressure is what uh I had a a little kidney damage. People thought it was the Dr. Pepper, but it wasn't. It was high blood pressure. And I think that a lot of people's problem with stress is they worry so much about what other people are going to think. So that falls into other areas of our lives. Oh, people are gonna think I'm not taking care of my kids. My wife is gonna think I'm not doing this. I'm you know, my boss, my my pastor, my you know, my friends. When just be you. Just do you. And the people that love you, they're going to love you for you. But the people who love you are not asking for you to be perfect. And that was part of my problem. Staying in the classroom to 8 30 or 11 30. My principals didn't ask me to do that. They loved me anyway. They complimented me anyway. You know, but by the time I realized that, it was too late.

SPEAKER_03 50:16

But you weren't married at that time either. No, I weren't married at that time. So you really had, you know, you didn't have a lot of family, right? Other than your brother, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 50:24

Oh, I had five siblings. Oh, you got I'm the youngest of six kids.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

All right, so they'll all look after you.

SPEAKER_01 50:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 50:31

But then you met Roderick and y'all got married and uh I know you've told me that he works as a correctional officer in Rusk at the mental hospital. Yes. Um, and he's been uh a real a real rock for you, hasn't he? He has. I mean, you know, like some men, uh like my wife says, that I'm you know, I'm terrible. I'm a terrible sick person. And uh and that, you know, she would be worried about counting on me to take care of her. But it sounds like that. Roderick is uh is a lot better than I am.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

He does pretty good. But he's aight.

SPEAKER_03 51:06

He's uh he's aight. Yeah, he's he's not great. He's he's as good as can be for guys our age, which is you know, 58, almost 60 or something. Right? Yes. But do you think your diet was, you know, not very good most of your life before this, leading to some of this?

SPEAKER_01 51:26

I would say that. Now, growing up, my mother cooked every day from a fresh garden, you know. So, and going to McDonald's and stuff like that, we didn't do that.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

Right. I mean, there wasn't a lot of places to go out to eat when we were young. Right. But McDonald's was there first. So that was that was a luxury. Yeah, right. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

And stuff. But uh, like for a birthday or some special occasion or you know, a boy.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

You think the way your mother cooked, do you think that had anything? I mean, butter or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

She was really good about that.

SPEAKER_03 52:05

Where did you go wrong?

SPEAKER_01 52:06

When I got started uh driving, and I could go to those places myself when I was younger, but I was exercising because you remember I was on drill team. Yep. So I got plenty of exercise then. When I was in college, I remember um one of the guys that's on the police force now, uh, Kevin Mobley, I used to see him at the gym when we were at TJC, and all of us would be in there working out, you know, and jogging. And Regina Johnson, she would be with me. We'd be jogging, you know, and stuff. But when I started teaching, uh, I didn't get to exercise as much. You got a 30-minute lunch. You might have to go pick up during your 30-minute lunch, you go pick up the kids, you eat, you go drop them off, you know, and just got busy. Life got busy. And that is when my diet started getting horrible. Whataburger, uh, KFC, uh, Chick-fil-A, you know, and you get off and you're tired and you don't feel like cooking, you know. And another thing too is people don't realize how easy it is to control diabetes. I just, you know, here in the last few years realize, you know, this is really easy. I didn't have to be in this situation. You can have that burger every once in a while. Just not every not every day.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

Right. You know. So you do have you have found it once you um kind of took it serious, you have found it pretty easy to control your type two diabetes? Right. Without even medication at this point, right?

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Almost. I've been taken off of a lot of medication. And people are like, How'd you do it? Eat right, but you but you know, like, but people don't know what eating right looks like. You have to get educated on that.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

Right. I mean, most people or some people, their education comes from their upbringing.

SPEAKER_01 54:11

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

And then who's in their environment, and that's kind of how they eat, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:15

Absolutely, yes.

SPEAKER_03 54:16

Then if your parents, I don't know if your parents were in poor health or not, things can be hereditary. Right.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

I mean But that doesn't mean you have to take it on. You know, like some people say, Well, my aunt was my my dad, my mother was fat. That don't mean that you have to be.

SPEAKER_03 54:32

Yeah. Well, exercise seems to be a critical component to most all of it.

SPEAKER_01 54:37

It is. Keep moving. That's the thing. You talk to a lot of elderly people and you ask them, How'd you get to live this long? Why do you look that good? And they'll tell you, I keep moving.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

You mentioned uh Kevin Mobley.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 54:53

That's funny. You know, he's uh he's with the Tyler Police Department. Uh he's he's done well there. He I think I I think he's on the SWAT team or something like that. And I happen to know him. He is a member of Path, he's a board member on Path.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

You know, people attempting to help. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 55:11

Did you know that?

SPEAKER_01 55:12

Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_03 55:12

I mean, did you have you seen him or remained friends or or or acquaintances?

SPEAKER_01 55:17

I've seen him. He's my husband's classmate. And uh we saw him here maybe a couple of Sundays ago. Sure did. We ran into him.

SPEAKER_03 55:27

Yeah, well that's that's interesting. How many people in Tyler actually know each other or know somebody that knows somebody, right? Right. We've talked about dialysis. It is going to be your life Monday, Wednesday, Friday until a deceased donor kidney transplant takes place or a live donor. Or a live donor. And, you know, your preference would be a live donor. For living longer? Yes. Probably healthier. Yes. Have they told you if you got a live donor kidney transplant that at 58 that you could likely live the rest of your life on that one kidney?

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

I mean, so this is this is a a game changer and a lifesaver.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Very much so for a live donor.

SPEAKER_03 56:13

What about a deceased donor? Uh the life the shelf life on a kidney donation transplant for that, is there are there statistics like it's 10 years, 20 years, 30 years?

SPEAKER_01 56:25

I think it depends, frankly, on like what shape the kidney is, how old the person was, and how well you take care of it.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

Right. And like how well you take care of yourself with it in you, right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 56:39

And you do have to take this rejection medicine to keep uh the rest of your life. Uh you have to be uh, you know, careful with that. Be sure and take it every day.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

Have you been tested for that medication that is, you know, that you have to take the rest of your life to prevent, I guess, the body from rejecting that transplant?

SPEAKER_01 57:01

No, I haven't been.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

Not to my knowledge. Trevor Burrus, Jr. Because I read that when I was looking into this stuff, I I I found that was one of the things that was on there that was a part of it, that um, you know, you had to do this.

SPEAKER_01 57:14

And I'm sure they did, because if they found they need to know before they even because, you know, one thing they don't want to do is waste a kidney. Right.

SPEAKER_03 57:23

It seems like, you know, all of the information that I've uncovered uh trying to understand your situation um is that they they're pretty thorough in the screening process.

SPEAKER_01 57:35

Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_03 57:36

I mean, like if you have cancer, you're out.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

Yeah. Or at least they take you off of the list.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Right, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 57:42

Pause you or pause you on the list until, you know.

SPEAKER_03 57:46

Like until you either it's in remission or whatever, right? I mean, because they're they're doing their very best. I mean, uh everything from severe obesity, substance abuse, uncontrolled psychiatric illness, active infections, things like this.

SPEAKER_01 58:01

And you have to take uh diabetes has to be intact too.

SPEAKER_03 58:04

Right. And and and it can't be uncontrolled diabetes.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 58:08

So, okay, we get to this point where, you know, for the people watching, you're a person who doesn't have any of these disqualifiers. That's what I want. That's the point I want to make. Right. Um, you are a person who clearly looking at you, listening to you, are is living an extremely healthy lifestyle. Yes, you do. You are a person that uh with a living kidney donor will likely h has a chance to live to the life expectancy of an African American female right now based on the life tables. Yes. Right? And that's I mean, obviously that's what you hope to do. I do. I mean, you and your husband, you'll have no children, do you? No. Neither one of you had any.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

No.

SPEAKER_03 58:53

And you got together kind of later in life? Yes. Uh, but you know, I love my wife, and there's nothing like that relationship, and I kind of sense that you feel the same way about Roderick. Yes. And, you know, contemplating one leaving the other, you know, is kind of one of the worst things that you can think about. At least it is for me. Yes. Uh, and so, you know, as I put myself in your shoes um and hope for you and try to help uh with this, you know, um, I guess our goal is gonna have to be we're trying to get a living uh kidney donor.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Right.

SPEAKER_03 59:31

Right? Yes. Um I know people know you. Your church is small, so I don't know if your reach has been wide.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

Pretty much on um on social media. I have some flyers out and people are sharing them. Uh as a matter of fact, right now there are 224 shares when I look this morning.

SPEAKER_03 59:53

All right. Well, we're gonna we're gonna try to blow that out of the water. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, you know, there's 90,000 people that I've read that are waiting on a kidney transplant in the United States. Yes. And of course, the O positive blood type is the most numerous and that's the most challenging.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

But you've had three offers. Two. You've had two offers. Three offers. And and I wanted to get back to this. Since you had those offers and since you were number two behind that primary, am I assuming that you are working your way up the list for priority? Yes. Right? I mean, we expect to get some more offers hopefully this year. Yes. More than one. Right. Uh, and have a match. And so I guess the question uh, you know, on an unfiltered podcast, which we are on, um, if someone calls and you've got a match on a deceased donor, I'm assuming you're taking it just taking a chance at life and no dialysis. Is that right? Yes. I mean, yeah, it'd be great if someone would come forward and offer to be a living donor. Right. Because that process could happen for sure in a very short period of time.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:09

And see, I was I was c I was thinking about that. I was like, for the next call for the deceased donor, should I take it, Lord?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:19

This is me praying. Well, I know it's a very personal, it's a very personal decision.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

Or should I wait and see if I could get a living donor? Because sometimes we jump ahead of God, you know, and I was thinking, should I wait and see if I can get a live donor?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

Well, I mean, you know, that is a very, very difficult question to have to ponder as a human being. Because it involves variation of life expectancy. Yes. Right? Like, hey, am I greedy because I'd like to have a a a live donor kidney that would live me longer, or should I just accept this deceased donor kidney and maybe I'll live a certain amount, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:03

But you know what I th I I I have I've had that thought, and then it came to me, why do you want a live kidney?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:16

Because I have work to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

I have some things that it's not so I can run and go on a vacation to Europe or anything like that. It's like I said, I love to go subteach just to see and I know I hear all these things about these kids. I just like to try my hand at one class, one day, just to see what they're like. You know, I I want to give. I'd like to give. I'd like to do more in ministry. I'd like to do more in my community. You know, there are days that city council and I have a friend that's on City Council.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:53

Who?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:54

Petra Hawkins.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:55

Okay, I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:56

And she's like a sister to me. There are things that she does I'd like to go to. They're on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:03

I mean, that's you know. I mean, after your four hours of dialysis, right. Tell the audience what you feel like after you get out of the dialysis.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:13

Yesterday my skin was stinging, and I don't know if that's nerves or what that is, you know. Um, it feels like someone has like taken me and rang me out. I'm irritable, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

Um Are you hungry?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:35

Yes. I mean, after that because they've taken it's taken, not they, the machine has taken all the a lot of nutrients out of you, particularly protein. And um that could last over until today. Like I had a pretty good protein breakfast this morning. I'm gonna get something to eat when I get out of here. It just flows over, and because your body is trying to catch up and get these nutrients that you lost when you were on dialysis. And I if I do go someplace and eat, they look at how little I am sometimes. And they're like, would you like the lunch portion? Uh no.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:17

Do you still eat uh quite a bit?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:20

Oh, I'm back eating. At first, I wasn't eating very much. That's how I knew I was on my way out. And I talked about that a little bit a minute ago. I have a sister who lives in Louisiana, she came to visit me one day, and I'm always glad to see her. So she called and said, I'm at the door. I said, Okay. And I laid back down. And she kept saying, I'm at the door. You know, she kept calling. And then my brother called and said, She LaQuenda's at the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:54

You were just too tired to get up?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:56

That's what I thought.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

Were you dreaming?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:59

I had to go. They sent me to the hospital. I can't remember if I I can't even remember, Chad, if I went in an ambulance or if they took if somebody took me.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:16

On my way out, my kidneys were failing. And I was I was always feeling badly and sickly. And I just I mean, I was just I don't even remember when I got to the hospital, but I remember my doctor came to the hospital, my nephrologist, and she said, You are going on dialysis.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:45

You're talking about when you first felt bad enough and you know, healthcare providers were having to intervene that you got on dialogue.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

That I finally they had been asking me, but I was like, No, I'm fine. I didn't realize how badly I felt.

unknown 1:06:03

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:03

I mean you just thought, oh, I can shake this off. I'll be better next couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:06

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

But what about the dialysis though that happens every, you know, every other day essentially during the week? You know, do you have to recover?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:15

Yes. You know, in the hours that follow before you even feel like cooking or it takes a it takes a couple of hours for me to recover. So I usually prep my salad and maybe like some chicken to put in the oven or my husband put in the oven for me when I get home, you know, whatever. And I sit back, kick my feet up, and um I might go to sleep. And then sometimes I don't, you know, go to sleep. But it takes a couple of hours to recover, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:48

And um Does exercise help as far as dehydrating you? Like if you perspire or sweat, you know, does that help keep uh the water off of your body?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:59

I don't perspire or sweat.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:01

You don't at all?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:03

Sometimes I think maybe uh at night I might have night sweats, but it it's just the clammy, it's not like everybody else sweats because I don't have any water in my body really to give for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:20

What about coffee or alcohol? You know, dehydrating drinks, are those better for you than water?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:25

I uh I mean water is I do water, water, water, water. I have decaffeinated coffee every once in a while at home because the coffee out in public places, especially fast food, has salt in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:42

What about caffeine? Um I don't do caffeine. You don't like a little boost, you know, being kind of tired.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:48

It makes you thirsty. Well, yeah, that's and then you and then you're miserable, so I do water.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:53

All right, so you're battling that thought. Water and ice. Yeah, that is tough for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:57

It's so difficult to go out with friends and they're drinking whatever they want, even and I I do do unsweetened tea every once in a while, but and it's just life is something, but I, you know what, I go ahead and handle it, and it could be worse.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:15

You've talked about that you were on the list at Baylor Scott and White. And so I'm assuming that would be in our area or region, you know, there's many Baylor Scott and White hospitals in different cities. Somebody gets killed in a car wreck, they take them to the hospital, they go, hey, we've got an organ donor here. And then they that's when they start, what, checking the database? Yes. Now you said that you were not on one that you had kind of felt like was not good with the records earlier.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:44

Another hospital? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:46

Because what they were telling me, I was like, that was way back.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:50

I've been recovered from that. But I mean, I'm just curious, you know, would you not, or are you, on other hospital lists or other lists from the country so that you could be on anything available should it come up?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:04

Actually, my social worker came to me yesterday at the center and she applied for me to uh be on the list for Baylor Scott White, Fort Worth.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

Okay, so good. You're on the Dallas, now we're going to Fort Worth. There's one in Tyler. I don't know if it's part of this organ, huh?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:23

That was the one.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:24

Okay, that yeah. Well that was the one that the records weren't great. But they are part of the same system, is what I'm getting at. Right. And so you don't care where the kidney comes from, you just w want to have a kidney.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:38

Um and so I is it is this whole program administered, as far as you know, through hospital systems as opposed to some I mean, I would think so because that's just through hospital systems, yes. That's where the deceased people are. Right. Right right.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:53

I mean Now I don't think they f I I don't know if they fly it in from someplace or Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

I mean, but they they probably originated at an emergency room somewhere. Yes. Where they either passed away there. Right. I don't know if you can pass away at your home and they see, hey, this is an o organ donor, and then try to, you know, salvage that or not. Right. I don't either. Well, what we know is you're hopefully higher up on the list, right? Yes. Because you're moving into year four.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:21

Because for me to be for me to be called as close as I have been, I'm I'm at the top of the list. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:29

And that has to be somewhat reassuring.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:32

Yes. I mean. 'Cause there's no guarantee. And there are people that have gotten deceased kidneys that it fail once it got in them.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:41

Right. I mean that's that has to do with taking the medication for the rest of your life that keeps hopefully keeps it, you know. And you sound like a good patient. Like that's one of the things it looks like that they look at. People that don't follow medical advice, you know, kind of fall off the list.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:00

I do. I try to make it every single specialist and my primary care doctor, I ask them what I can do to make their job easier.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:10

Well, I can tell you one thing. My mother would never be on or survive the kidney wait list. Why would you say that? Because she would not uh she would not do everything she could do to follow what they say or make their life easier. I promise you that. Um she would somehow be the first case to survive, you know, without kidneys.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:36

Way to go, Mike.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:38

But, you know, you know, people don't like to be poked and prodded. No. You know, when they're uncomfortable or they're uh have anxiety. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. People like to be at home, not in a hospital. Um, but you know, you're such a lovely person.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:56

Thank you, Chad. I try and be, you know. It's not every day. You have to ask Mr. Crow. It's not every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

Well, you know, uh that's true of all uh, you know, husband and wives, I think, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:09

Uh I often ask my wife, I said, you know, other people think I'm cooler than you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:14

That's cute.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:15

And uh so, you know, I I get it uh because we spend so much time with them.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:21

But you know what I'm hopeful for, and I'm I uh I hope anybody who watches this just says a simple prayer. Um that Sandy Bailey gets a live donor, uh, if it's possible, because it's gonna require someone who sees this or shares this with somebody to feel called, respond, and and and say, you know what, I think this woman is worthy. I want to help her. Right. Or um, and we'll take it if that's all we get, a deceased donor. Right. And then we'll say a prayer that it's a healthy kidney and it gives you, you know, 20 plus years.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:58

Absolutely, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:00

Well, this is very revealing as far as your health history, as far as the things you have going on in your life, and uh I sure appreciate you coming on the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

Thank you for having me. It is always a pleasure to see you.