HIND ABBY PART 2

In this episode, Abby (Frank Brandon) pitches us a wildly unbelievable script that is somehow based on a true story. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This is more than five minutes, but uh more than more than five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Yeah, I told you that like multiple times. Five minutes? Yeah, five minutes. Okay, well, to be honest, I listened to both of y'all's episodes. Right. And honestly, that's not you shouldn't listen. I did. I did for reference of like what I was gonna create. And Emily's was five minutes, a tight five, and Lucia's like was like I was watching it like the entire time. She took us through. So I think that it's more entertaining to take you through the beats.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Okay, well, and you know, I'm loving it to be honest. I she's having the top of her life. I'm having a great time. The only problem is then for me. Continue, please.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Um, so he takes it upon himself to get an air tank. So he's going to like go through the brown, murky water and like find Brent.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah, because he's a great guy.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Because he's a great guy. And honestly, like for selfish reasons, he just wants to date Tina. He just wants to have a normal summer.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

So what does he find when he goes down there though?

SPEAKER_02 1:01

That's the He finds the the flicker. He finds the flicker, the flicker. What is it called? Flipper? The flipper.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

The flipper! The flipper. He founds okay, he finds the flipper first. Okay, so that's right. Okay. Okay. Okay, he finds the flipper. He's like, I'm getting close. And he's searching and he sees a little turtle and he sees a beaver and he's just keeping it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Trying to do all that. That's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Wait, a beaver's gonna be swimming that low in the fucking lake? Yeah. No way.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Guys, this is what she did since she wrote the mouse. She pipes up when the beavers How would you even know?

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Just continue. I'll let it go. But that's not real. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Well, they're like on the surface building. We're in Hollywood. Everything's sincere.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

They're on the surface building damps. They're not on the surface building damps. Yeah, but they go down. No fucking way. I I don't suspend just fill it. Leave a comment below. If you think that who if if you think the Hoover Dam is real. Continue. Please don't comment. Fine, Brenda. Don't comment.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Continue.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Reveal. He takes the quote. He takes the seaweed apart. And what does he find? It's a lake or no shit. It's it's a lake. He finds an entire underwater community of people who people and animals that have died in this lake and are just walking around with decomposing, decomposing bodies, just walking around. There's this, it's like a it's like an upside-down world, like stranger things, but like underwater worlds.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Underwater zombies. Underwater zombies. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

So are you with me still?

SPEAKER_02 2:49

I'm with you.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

You've lost me. Okay. So he is underwater. He's like, what the heck is going on? All these like creepy, like decomposing bodies. But um, oh wait, I have fish are swimming. I said fish are swimming, beavers are beaving, and these dead people are getting their groceries, playing beer pong, going to church. Like they're it's a whole life.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Yeah, it's a whole city down there.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

It's a whole city down there. Playing playing beer bong going to church.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Top like do they go to become those are life activities that I thought of. Do they go to church before or after beer pong? Like, how does it work?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Is it the same people that the sometimes they rotate when they're winning and yeah, it makes sense. Continue.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Anyways. Um, enter, we meet Aurelia. Oh my god, there's more characters.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Fuck. Keep going. Emily. Yeah. Emily's not enjoying my story. She's she's the here.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

I'm like, I'll talk to her.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Okay, so we meet Aurelia. Aurelia is the girl at the bottom of the lake.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Oh, the the um the legend was based on her. So there's the payoff there. You're welcome. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Aurelia is the girl at the bottom of the lake. Aurelia is the girl who pulled Brenda by the foot down to this under community.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

So Brenda is dead. Yeah, Brenda's dead, right? Brenda's dead.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Brenda's dead. Oh my god. So now Dan is, though. No, because Dan has an air tank. Because he and he wasn't pulled. And he wasn't pulled. He has an air tank. Okay, so Brenda and Aurelia see Dan. Brenda's like, oh my gosh. Aurelia like pulls me down.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

What the fuck? This is we really sad.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

She's like, this is like, I was reading this and I was like reading this back, and I was like, this is like if my intrusive thoughts just like the better. And you're gonna let her die. Yeah. It's the movies. And she's not what are you looking for in movies? You're looking for tragedy. You're looking for tragedy. Um more tragedy. So I'm serving tragedy. Anyways, serving tragedy. This will make you happy. Brenda and Aurelia are honestly having a great time. Brenda's like, listen, I'm dead, but there's this whole underwater community I didn't even know about. I'm like a mermaid. I haven't started to decompose yet. Like, I'm living my best life with Aurelia. Aurelia is like, yeah, I just like want friends. So occasionally I'll pull down a kid.

unknown 5:23

This is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

This is your friend. I don't want it. I I don't need I don't need more friends, actually. I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

I'm scared.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

It's like I'm moving out. I'm gonna move in with you, okay?

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Please don't move in with me.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Oh she was like hard boundary. No. You were like, I'm your creative partner, and I will not be your roommate.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

I mean, if I don't know if you turn this way because of her or she turned this way because she's like, I don't know if you guys should like let the world see this.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Honestly, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Maybe we should cut.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Maybe we should cut.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

And you know what's so funny? I wanted to green light you so much. No!

SPEAKER_00 6:03

I still have so much more. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So much more. I just want to get to the end. We're about two-thirds through. Okay. Oh no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Wrap it up. If you let me like go, go. Okay. So uh Aurelia just wants to make friends. That's why she pulled her down. Brenda. Okay, so Brenda, Aurelia, and Dan are like, all right, okay. Dan's like, this is freaking weird. You need to come back. Brenda's like, no, I'm having a time in my life. I'm also dead. Like, I can't go back. So they're like, let me show you around just so that you know, like, I'm in a better place now. So they go to this under the underwater club, right? And Charlie X is playing, and like everyone is vibing. Everyone is vibing, and Brenda goes to the bar to get some underwater drinks for her friends. Um, and when she comes back, Aurelia is making out with Dan.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Oh, what was Aurelia? I feel like the police right now.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

And also, Aurelia's like also, also, um, I want to say that Dan is a lot of oxygen in that 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Yeah, like 10 seconds the size of fucking Texas.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Okay, so uh Okay, so Dan is making out with Aurelia. Yes, it is. Aurelia's like old AF, but it's like it's not problematic when a boy is old AF like in freaking Twilight. In Twilight, everyone alive.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Stop.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

We're not gonna be able to do that. I wasn't your side until Aurelia's like a hundred plus years old, whatever. Um, she's thinking out.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Um, and okay, so this is where I wrote it. I might have to like take my wig off. This is where this is where Yeah, it's a wig.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

This is a this is where I wrote it. If you will just let me finish, you want it to finish.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah, not so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

So um, this is where I wrote it in night shameland twists. Oh my god. Another twist? Like, we've been twisted up and we've got fucking Brenda's like, oh my gosh, she's rethinking. I wouldn't take my jacket on. I'm not doing this. I know, it's like a good story. That a good story will get you there. Yeah. Okay, I think so. And so like Brenda's like flashbacking to all of these like experiences she had this summer, and suddenly things are connecting in ways that they didn't connect before. And so you're like, wait, what? And she's like, actually, Dan is super ugly because in 10-year-old's brain, this is why I had to set it up. He has 12 packs, blah blah blah. No, in 10-year-old brain, he's hot, but in reality, Dan is a 17-year-old with acne. He plays air guitar, like and makes sure that people like seize him, but he doesn't actually play.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

He also forgets to brush his teeth.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

He doesn't brush his teeth like he's a 17-year-old dude, and he's got tinted glasses, and he's just like, you know. So he's not like the popular guy that she was thinking this entire time now that she's thinking about it and putting two and two together. She's like, Oh, hell no. This dude, this 17-year-old loser, first of all, is the reason I'm dead.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Let's say it. Yes. Um, I never would have gotten in without the flipper. Um and now he's like hitting on my new best friend down in the underwater. So she's like, hell no. And she takes a nearby knife that she finds, don't worry about it, and she cuts his air tank.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

I am very much worried about this.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Um I was about to start singing a song, but we'd get flag for that.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

She cuts his air tank.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I have a question.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Because hell hath no fury. Like uh Brenda scorned.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

I wish I could put this movie in a little ponytail. Uh the smallest point is.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

I was writing this, I was like, I have a question.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Is that a question, please?

SPEAKER_00 10:11

This is so good. Is that it?

SPEAKER_02 10:13

What genre is this the this uh like this hell of a script? What genre is this?

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Whoa! It is um Abby, you don't even know. See, that's the problem. It's like it's lake horror.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Okay, so you sound like a Spotify playlist, right? Lake horror.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

You sound like Okay, okay, let me just get to the end. I'll just run to the end now. Okay, so now all three of them are dead. All three of them are dead. Um Aurelia comes back and she's like, listen, I kiss him for a second, and he was like telling me to use more tongue, and I just got like the the like. I got the huge ick from him, like so gross. And um, and they're like, wow, Dan really sucks. They're really like they're both they're women stand together. Wait, glasses though, because I love a story where women stand together, and they're not like oh, the other woman. They're like, no, actually, the guy is problematic, right? The guy is problematic, and the women are sticking together against him, which is unique to my story, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Um girl, no, so then I'm actually like against women for the first time in my life.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Okay, so they hatch a plan to get rid of Dan.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Feeling misogynistic today. Okay, go for it. So um, in take seeking revenge on Dan, um, Brenda doesn't realize that she's actually like subjecting herself to a lifelong like with Dan down there, like in the community with them. And she's like, hell no, I don't want him to be around. And so they're like, they they need to hash a plan to get rid of Dan, right? They're all dead. They need to get hash plan. Um, so they I feel like I'm gonna lose you here. Oh you're like that's crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

No, don't get demotivated now. Don't get it. Keep going. Don't get sad. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

You're doing great. Please. We have this might be our longest episode ever, but we will what time is it actually? Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah, we have had so much time. We have a giant timer over there. By the way, yeah, but it's like so confusing. Okay. Um confusion there.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Please continue.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

They hatch a plan and they talk to the beavers in the lake.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

And together the beavers together the beavers um grab Dan in the night and um feed him into a uh the lake feeds into a stream that like juts out into a waterfall into like a sewer drain. And so Dan has to live the rest of his days in a sewer drain.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

So so they didn't even give him the grace to uh prop him up, propel it, sorry, propel him up uh on the surface. What?

SPEAKER_00 13:01

You know, because he wasn't deserve grace? He was I thought you were saying he was problematic.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

You cut a Zare tank, they cut his air tank, remember that part? I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Oh, that's true. There was so much going on in the story that I forgot that part.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

No, my eyes, I'm glad I'm wearing sunglasses, my eyes were crossed the entire time, by the way. Uh I really was uh I wasn't confused. I don't want to say that.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

No, because no, she uh this is um. I think you followed every single storytelling was prestige, uh pristine. Sorry, pristine. Um she did a really good job explaining and walking us through and making us live emotions to the point where like I hated the uh all the characters. Oh, okay. And at first Dan was problematic, right? But then I was like, Brenda, what the f wrong with you?

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Yeah, I feel like at every turn in this story, I wanted you to feel some way, and then you felt the opposite. Like when I wanted you to be like, Yeah, Dan is hot, you were like, Dan's problematic. And then when I was like, Well, I killed Dan for you, you were like, actually, I love Dan and I hate women. And I just didn't even get it.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

But you didn't do that on purpose, okay? You did you just No, I certainly didn't.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

I wanted you to feel the opposite of how you were feeling.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Like, this is just so I think you're getting wrapped up in the results of things, and I think that's something that you need to talk to your therapist about, but uh, we can't do that for you. We're gonna make you feel like absolute dog shit here. Yeah. Um, because we're CEOs.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Can I also give um one movie that I um think this is like in the same vein of?

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Promising Young Woman. Okay. Oh, I haven't seen it. That's actually not the worst thing you've said today. It's kind of like kind of like a revenge. That's not a thing in any sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

That's not the worst thing I've heard today. So, okay, because we um did take a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

I just want to know the casting rule fast. Yeah. What what would you do?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Two questions. Casting first, we'll hit that up. So who's gonna be Brenda?

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Um, Brenda is going to be um Maya. Wait, no, she's gonna be 10.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

10.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

10. My Rudolph. I'll do Sadie Sink because she can do anything. 10? She's literally 22. Well, what 10-year-old owners do you know? I don't know them by name.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

That's a good point. Like 10-year-olds.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

So Sadie Sink is up for Brenda, the 10-year-old. Even though she's like literally almost 30.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Uh uh, good for her.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

No, she looks she looks so young.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

I don't know. I don't even remember her face. You guys know I have to have Google in front of me.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Okay, and so who's gonna be Dan? So that's a harder um thing because he has to embody a 17-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Timothy Shalom. You know what?

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Sorry, you know who I think Dan should be?

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Obsessed. Obsessed.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Although the age difference doesn't work, but I'm more uh passionate about this. Logan Lerman. First of all, I love Logan Lerman. So I love him, and I think that he can really pull off like this innocent, but then I think he can pull off like I hate to bring it to you, can no longer play teen roles, however.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

He's definitely like he's he's 34.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

He's 34, but he has a young look to his he does, he does.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

But he's I brought the story and I brought the drama, and I don't think I should have to cast it. Oh isn't that what you said in your episode? You were like, I don't need to do all of it. It's like I don't think we've ever had anybody come. I don't think I don't need to do all the work.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

I don't think we've ever had somebody come in and like give us all the wrong answers.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Like it's like I mean, it's like you don't like to drink champagne or something, it's like you don't enjoy the finer things in life, and she's stuck in it. This is ridiculous. I need to call security. I can't because really okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

I guess my last question, because we're just gonna move on from the casting decisions. Um, how how much of this is your real life? Because you Yeah, I really want to know about this. I got really concerned when it you were saying it's majority majorly appropriate.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Majorally really I know that. Um let me guess this.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

What do you think?

SPEAKER_02 17:16

You're you're not dead, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Well, you're not dead.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

I know that, and there's no underwater at all because I want to make sure. Because I'm not you gave us so many twists and turns.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Did you see the beavers at the bottom of the lake?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Did you?

SPEAKER_01 17:30

That sounds like I'm speaking in like rhymes. I'm like, did you see the beavers at the bottom of the lake? No, that no, have you seen the beavers at the bottom of the lake? We can watch everybody.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Name of the episode. Have you seen the beavers at the bottom of the lake?

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Uh probably.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

So on the nose. Anyways, so uh, you're gonna keep it a secret.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Okay, um, you really want to know? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Yeah, my laptop's gonna die, so you gotta remember. Um this shit is a couple of things.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Counselor broke my arm in summer camp.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

I figured.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

And then he didn't buy me a flipper, but my mom bought me a flipper. Oh my gosh, so he didn't even make up for it. No, that's the team. He didn't. He didn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Did you have a crush on him?

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Not really. He had a major crush on another counselor, and I think that he was like really um like sorry that he did it, but at the end of the day, he he I didn't really interact with him often. I think he just kind of like let me be after that. Well, yeah, he's that's he was like, I'm not gonna interact with this girl because she makes me feel bad because I broke her arm.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Well, it I would be embarrassed if I were.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Yeah, that's literally, really embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Just like men not owning their mistakes, carry it. And that's literally the moral of this episode. Um, anyways, we have to get to it, and as much fun as that was, um, and how insane I think your casting decisions are, and then you literally said, Oh, I'm not responsible for casting. No, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

That is crazy, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Like, you don't even have an idea. That's crazy. Casting directors are like they just got their own Academy Award.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Like, they are a lot, but I do a lot. I want to tell you. Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

But we want to try it. I give you a cast. I can check presences.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

You can what if I cast my little sister as uh a backup? You know what I mean? I don't as back uh Brenda. Brenda.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Um I don't know. Is she talented? Like, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

No, she's not. So that's what I'm saying, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

And the thing about it is is you cast people well into their 20s and 30s as preteens. So we've got not either way about my I'm not mad. I'm not mad.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

I'm just saying I'm just disappointed, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

I'm not mad. I gotta put my jacket back on because this shit is getting too real for me. You know what?

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I I we have a decision I have to make. Listen, the Ducker Brothers got a million no's a million no's before yes. And who else did? Um, a million no's before yes. Literally everyone in Hollywood. And guess what? I'll be if this is a no, it's just a no on the road for me, okay? And I just know that every each one of you who are watching, listening, is gonna realize that this is the screenplay of the century paper. Are you done? Abby, you know, it's like a filibuster here.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

It's not the freaking Senate. All right. I'm taking my glasses off. Wouldn't that be so out of pocket if you greenlit me right now?

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Wouldn't that be so cute and fun if you greenlit me? It's going back on. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Yeah, I I you know it's so hard because it's so funny. I was I know, it's so funny. Listen to me. I was in a side.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Honestly, you're so lucky.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

You're lucky.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

I'm not hungover. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Because listen, I mean, I I just want to say that I love the fact that you actually wrote this shit.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

And I can I can I also say before we say our answer, I have been suffering from tonsillitis, and I felt it come back tenfold in this entire 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Well, you all don't get storytelling. And I kind of call storytelling. You don't get storytelling.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

So you say it. Um I'm I'm sorry, but the answer is absolutely yes! Yes! It's only yes because she's uh definitely an Apple baby, meaning that she has connects with us because her dad is Leonardo DiCaprio. Whatever she did today wasn't good.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Okay, no, but like when you think about it, movies get made all the time, and you're like, why did that movie get made?

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Everybody closed their eyes. Here we go. Like she it up.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Why is what?

SPEAKER_01 21:57

It's all good. Uh oh my god. Stay here, stay here. Um awesome, guys.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

This is like uh that was so scary. The beginning as your story. That was as scary as your story.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Actually, shocked that this um exploded. Anyways, guys, that's just how we do it around here.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Yeah, that's how we do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Anyways, everybody gets a little bit of champagne.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yeah, no, last time I finished the bottle by myself.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

What part really appeals to you guys? No, no, no, no. No, please don't ask me that. Just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Abby, just freaking just drink your I just want to know like what was the best. I just want you to drink champagne. Please stop because there were so many problems with your story.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Just take the W, just take the W.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Uh, just do it.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Alright, guys, we'll be cheering to you for Dan to storytelling at its finest.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Thank you guys for another great episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I am so sorry my friends are like this. I am actually embarrassed to call them my friends, and um, yeah, and she's kissing me. Oh god. Yay! Oh no. All right, bye.