News Headlines That Weren't Thought Through

Words are important. But sometimes, they just aren’t.

https://cheezburger.com/8502277/32-mindbogglingly-stupid-headlines-that-yes-were-actually-printed

https://www.rrcs.org/Downloads/funny_headlines_list4.pdf

https://www.scribd.com/document/509240952/40-Of-The-Worst-Newspaper-Headlines-To-Make-You-Facepalm-At-The-Stupidity-Bored-Panda

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome back to the Cashley Show. We are Kevin and Ashley. Hello. We started this podcast after recent tragedies to take a break from negativity and discover the good news happening all around us. Today we are talking about newspaper headlines that weren't thought through.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

So before before we get too far, we backtrack, I don't know, episode, two episodes ago. We talked about first responders, right? And my brother. So he he called me and gave some info.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

And he said being a volunteer firefighter?

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Just so people remember what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Oh yes. It was the episode about first responders and those stories, and what does that actually mean? And what do you do when you're like a volunteer? Yeah. So he he said, he may call me again because I may butcher this. But he said that it totally depends, right? Like if you are going to a car crash, like a scene like that, and and it's closer to just like go there, you just go there. Especially he said some people have like stuff in their vehicles, like at all times, like a a a go bag or whatever, I don't know what to call it. Right. And so they don't they don't necessarily need all that. So they get there to be the first responder to like try and stabilize and do those things while other people make it to the station, grab whatever, and right, and then and then go out. So he said it's just kind of a mix where it's totally contextual and just depends on how bad the accident is, how bad whatever emergency is, where you are in relation to that and the station, stuff like that. So that's that answer, I think. And we'll see what he says. And then the next thing was I think maybe the episode before that, right? Or no, it was the same one, because it's Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah, so same episode. So like that stat was crazy to me that like 2,000 people, 30 people a year jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Like probably maybe more than that, but like that many succeeded. So I looked, I looked up some stuff about it, because I was like, that seems crazy. And yeah, it's all true. But what they've done is they've on the Golden Gate Bridge, they have like net type thing like that goes out, right? So you can walk or whatever on the side, and then but then however many feet down, and then goes out, like this big, this big net on both sides. And so now I think they said like it averaged 30 a year, and then last year when I think they put it up last year. Oh, they had four.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Oh really?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Like four people were able to like jump and make it over.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

So the net catches you and you roll it rolls you down to uh into a ball pit.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Yeah, I don't that part I don't know. But it reduced it from 30 to 4 in one year. But I was also thinking more of like a thought experiment than anything, really, because this I was thinking about this before I learned that there was that net there. That like you know, because there's the guy, I forget his name, right? But he that was like one of the big stories, like he kind of patrolled the bridge when he was like, Yeah, Kevin.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

I forgot Kevin's name.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

I don't need to know any other Kevin but myself. But I was just wondering like people who who commit suicide who attempt to like would they still go through with it? Like if you if Kevin gave people like I'm not gonna touch you, I'm not gonna stop you, but like here's a parachute so that after you jump, if you decide you don't want to do it anymore, you can pull the brick, you can pull the cord, right? And like I wonder how many people would pull it, right? Like after they jump, they're like, I don't want to do this. But and without that, right? It's like you jump and like it doesn't matter if you don't want to anymore. Like it now it's happening. Yeah, yeah. So I don't I don't know. I I wonder how many people would would pull the cord. Yeah. Just a thought experiment. So, anyways, it is the most the number one used to be, anyways. Most. Yeah, where that happens the most in like in the whole world. Oh really? Yeah. Wow. So that's why that number is astounding, is because it's number one.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Yeah, yeah. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

All right, now we can move on to the rest of the episode.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Back to the newspaper headlines. Journalism is known for its focus on clear and precise language. But then you get headlines like these. Here is a collection of real newspaper headlines, and maybe just news articles, maybe not always newspaper. Thanks to some awkward wording, ended up saying something very different from what was meant, or maybe even more strangely, said exactly what was meant. Enjoy the quirks of the written word. The first one is County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds. This was from the register guard. Lane County will spend up to $250,000 this year, this year publicizing its tight financial picture in hopes that voters in November will approve higher taxes for public safety services. And it illustrates the seriousness of the effort to persuade voters.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

So they're spending $250,000 to let voters know that they don't have enough money? I guess I guess there's a little bit of a difference in that they don't have enough versus they need more.

unknown 5:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

They had probably had enough if they wouldn't have spent $250,000 on advertising. They're tight financial picture. All right, the next one is police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers. Most of these are just headlines. That one was a little bit more of the article because it was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

To run down jaywalkers. Say it again.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Northfield plans to plan strategic plan.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

My vocabulary is not very big.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

We need to plan that out. Cold wave linked to temperatures. Yeah, don't say.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Where was that? Does it say?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

I didn't write it down, no. Some of them I did. Most of them I did not.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

If it wasn't so cold, right? We wouldn't have this problem. That's like me today when it snowed.

unknown 6:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Well, the weatherman says it was gonna snow. I wish weatherman would have said that it was gonna be sunny. Weather listens to the weatherman.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Next one is cows lose their jobs as milk prices drop.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

What do they do with cows when milk prices drop?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Like it seems like they would have to throw it away because you stop milking them, they're gonna dry up, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Seems like they would dry up. I don't really know how maybe a question for your daughter.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Dairies work. But yeah, I guess like you can't if you stop milking them, then they stop producing milk, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

So they just continue milking them and then just throw it away?

SPEAKER_01 6:59

That's what I would guess they do.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Man struck by lightning, faces battery charge.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

He should have been holding more devices. Could have charged them all up.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Did he beat up the lightning?

SPEAKER_02 7:18

He got struck by lightning and went insane and beat up people. Faces battery charge.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Next one is woman missing since she got lost. Local high school dropouts cut in half.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

That would keep me in school. And if you were running me down for jaywalking, I'll stay in school, being the crosswalk. I didn't know you guys are so serious about this. Cut in half.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

They have a hard enough life as it is dropping out of high school. Now you imagine they don't got any legs? You're not helping.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Dog saves owner's life after a cat starts fire.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

That sounds right.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Sounds like our cat for sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Yeah. Mischievous cat. Hero dog.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Loyal hero dog. Hospitals are sued by seven, and it just says FT doctors. So seven foot doctors? I don't know what FT means.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I think it means full-time.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Oh well, it's like a capital F and a lowercase T. So I don't know. But aren't all doctors full-time?

SPEAKER_02 8:33

I think they're all seven feet. I don't know. I would assume. I don't I mean a lowercase T, I don't know. Yeah, that seems like the abbreviation for foot. Yeah. Oh, are they foot doctors? Like what do you call a foot doctor?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Pediatrist.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Pediatrist.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah. So are they seven podiatrists? Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_01 8:53

I don't think they call them feet doctors medically.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Well, but it's not medically, it's uh it's a newspaper article. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

So they might yeah, they were not specific on what the FT meant.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

That's awesome. Seven foot doctors.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Christians will play atheists in charity volleyball match. They just have only Christians and only atheists. I don't think you're allowed to segregate like Baptist ones and Catholic ones too.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

It's a weird religious volleyball league. Religion volleyball.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

It's not like that. The Times wrote, A young girl was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth. She was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A Coast Guard spokesman commented.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Is it though? Where did this happen? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

It just said the Jersey Shore somewhere. I don't know. But it's pretty funny. All right. Next one is worker suffers leg pain after Crane drops 800-pound ball on his head.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Why does he have leg pain?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Why is he alive after 800 pound ball hit him in the head? Seems like he'd be dead.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Suffers leg pain. It's more of a heroic story there.

unknown 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Superman can take an 800-pound ball to the head. How are you? My leg kind of hurts.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Head's fine though. Psychic predicts the world didn't end yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

I don't even know what to say with that.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Good job, guys. Doing your job. Next one is City Unsure Why the sewer smells.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

I have an idea.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Alright, this one I have to spell for you. Okay. So it's M I S S I P P I. So Ms. but not spelled correctly.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

M-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. M-I-S-S-I-S-I-P-P I'm missing an ISS.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yeah. Says Mississippi's literacy program shows improvement.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Oh shoot. Dang. We were so close, you guys. They almost believed us. Sorry, guys. Mississippi? Spell check. Mississippi.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Maybe that's what they call it in Mississippi? Mississippi?

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Mississippi?

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I don't know. I've never never been there.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Do they like back in the day, maybe they still do this? Newspapers, right? You could put in like ads or whatever, you could put in like I don't know what to call it. Where you put in your own thing. Like maybe it's an ad. Right. And they would charge like by the letter. Oh yeah. So take out ISS and save some money. Mississippi? Yeah. I think I'm gonna call it Mississippi from now on. Just shorten it. It doesn't need to be that long.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Yeah, you should. That's funny. Next one is planes forced to land at airports. I just want to fly. I want to land in on the beach.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Yeah. On the interstate.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

That would be exciting. Meeting on open meetings is closed.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Meeting on open meetings is closed.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

So they're having a meeting about having open meetings, but now it but you're not right now because it's closed. It's closed. It's a closed test.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

I actually don't have open meetings.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Next one is Hispanics Ace Spanish Test. Native speakers pump up area AP scores.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

I don't know if I would be able to like would I ace an English AP test? Like just because I speak English?

SPEAKER_01 12:35

I don't know, but I think English is probably uh one of the harder languages. I mean, obviously, I want to say there are more difficult ones. Sure. But we have so many very intricate things that it seems like we're it's quite difficult. More difficult than some languages, I guess. Okay. Yeah. Would I be able to? No. Waterford boy, age eight, saves sister's life. The boy says, I wouldn't do it again. She's been a pain this week.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

Week to week. Oh dang. Try and stay on his good graces in case that happens again.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Save her life, and now she's just annoying me. Committee appoints committee to appoint committee.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

That sounds like the government. Sounds like what I've known, what I've experienced.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

So true.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Does anyone here do any actual real work?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

No. No. New sick policy requires a two-day notice. Throwing up. Too bad you didn't give two-day notice. Come in. Get us all sick.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

I predict I will be sick on Friday. I could probably predict that one pretty pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Every Friday I will be sick.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Sorry, guys. I just can't help it. I'll be sick. Cops arrest white woman on warrant for black man.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

What you explained that one? Did you read any more into that one?

SPEAKER_01 14:03

No. Sometimes they were just the headlines only in notes. And that was it. Next one is Forsell, a collection of old people.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

What?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Didn't know you could buy old people.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Next one is Midget Sue's grocer cites belittling remarks.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

All right. Waitress needed, must be at least 18 years old with 20 years experience. You're 18, you're not getting a job. You don't have 20 years experience.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Well, if your mother was a waitress 11 months before you were born, and then continued waitressing while she was pregnant, and then she couldn't afford a babysitter, so she'd put you in like a what's it called? Baby Bjorn.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Carry you around. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Done.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Yep. 20 years. I don't know that they'll count that, but there was a a thing like this in software engineering where like this guy he posted on Twitter or X or whatever that like these job requirements are getting ridiculous. And like they had the job requirement and all this stuff, and like must have like something like ten years of experience in this whatever framework. And the guy was like, I created that framework, and I can't even apply for this job. Because I created that framework only seven years ago.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Nobody qualifies for the job. They should look into that before they post.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Just someone said post a job and someone else did.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Alright. The next one is state population to double by 2040. Babies to blame.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

What are those babies doing?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Why are they blaming babies?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

They're easy scapegoats because they can't defend themselves.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Next one is wanted. Somebody to go back in time with me.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

I like this one.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

This is not a joke. They give a P.O. Box address in California. It says, You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety is not guaranteed. This is a movie. I have only done this once before.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

This is a movie.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

I don't know. This is just the wanted ad in a newspaper. What movie is it?

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Safety Not Guaranteed.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

That's the name of the movie? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

And the guy posts uh like that exact thing. So this might I mean this might have really happened, but it also might just be someone just took it from the movie and put it in the wanted advantage. Right. Yeah, it's with the I don't remember his name. You you would recognize him if you saw him. If you looked it up, I'm pretty sure it's called Safety. Safety Not Guaranteed. It's a pretty funny movie. He goes back in time to like save someone's life and like says he did or whatever, and like the per the other person's like, well, how do we know? And he's like, Was that person still alive? I'm like, Yes. And he's like, see?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Jake Johnson's in it, and Aubrey Plaza.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Plaza. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

And Marc DuPlace.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Mark Duplas was the guy I was thinking of. Mark Duplas. Dupless? Duplas? I don't know. I don't know. Him and his brother, I think, create a bunch of movies. That's funny. But yeah, it's it's a pretty funny movie. It's along those lines of like it's kind of some off-beat humor. Like, I mean, the people are in it, you can see. And like, so the that movie matches. I don't know if you know much about any of those people, but like Abby Plaza, right? Like her her style of humor. Like that movie matches those people.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Very well. It's it's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

That's funny. But anyways. Never even heard of it.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Yeah. He posts that in that's like the premise of the movie.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

He posts that ad, and then I think she comes to I wonder if someone just like took a picture of that from the movie and put it on a website or something.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Oh, yeah, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I don't know. Alright, next. Hospitals resort to hiring doctors.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Seven foot doctors.

unknown 18:05

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Police officers were called to Market Square for a suspicious coin. Investigating officers discovered it was a coin. A quarter.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

I wanted to know more about these things.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

How do they like what I I was wondering if it was like when they first started doing like the state quarters? And people were like, this isn't a quarter.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Oh, like fake money. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Someone didn't know that they were doing state quarters, maybe. That's the only thing I could think of. Like why you wouldn't know a quarter's a quarter.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Right. And why would this be in the paper? Like what a slow news day.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Well, I think they just were put like all the police things that they do.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

What's that called? The officer beat, police beat, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I don't know. I haven't had a newspaper for many a year.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Next one. Alton attorney accidentally sues himself.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Dang, happened again.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Although you pay your own lawyer fees. Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

And you're gonna win.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Yep. Either way.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

You also are gonna lose.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah. So does that count as a win or a loss against you when you're an attorney? If you win and lose against yourself. Most earthquake damage is due to shaking.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Yeah, that sounds fair.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Sounds right. Safety mining ends in accident.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Oh, dang it. Should have met better.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Next one is fish need water, feds say.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Oh, how much did that how much did that cost? How many how many committees were involved in that?

SPEAKER_01 19:47

How many feds had to investigate it?

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Woman falls in hospital. Told to call an ambulance. So it says when Doreen Wallace fell and broke her hip in the lobby of the Niagara Falls hospital, she figured at least she'd get help and fast. But that's not what happened. Instead, the 82-year-old Wallace, who was leaving with her son after visiting her dying husband on October 8th, I don't know what year, was told by staff no one could help her until an ambulance came and helped her. Got her. Everybody walked to the door, stopped and stared at her, Wallace said, who already had broken her arm from previous fall. She ended up spending almost 30 minutes on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

Till an ambulance came? Yep. And then they just what they were like, yep.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Wheeled her to the emergency room.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Yep, you can get her.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Like what did they put her in a wheelchair?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Take her out to the ambulance to bring her in on the gurney thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Like Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Do you think she slipped the ground was wet from Niagara Falls?

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Maybe. Next one is Greenland meteorite may be from space.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

It took me a second. I was like, no, it's from Greenland. He just said, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

Where else would it come from?

SPEAKER_02 21:10

It's from Greenland.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Just fell off the mountain. Yeah. They have mountains. I don't know what Greenland looks like. Next one. Parents keep kids home to protest school closure.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

I'm keeping them home because I want to. Not because you closed.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Not because you're closing their school.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Right. You don't tell me.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

An Oak Hill community couple discovered a thief in their home Saturday after a man, the man told a joke and heard laughter upstairs.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

That's a funny joke. I want to know what the joke was. The guy's like robbing their house and oh man, I gotta hide. Here's a joke, and just literally LOLs.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Oh dang.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Brody got away. This newspaper article. Says how to buy a $450,000 home for only $750,000. Um you got screwed. No bad.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

I'll sell you that home. Sell it to you right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

I've just made $300,000 off you. China may be using the sea to hide their submarines.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Those sneaky Chinese.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Where else are they gonna keep them? Homicide victims rarely talk to police.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Why do they say rarely? When are they talking to the police? That's a zombie.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Their ghost comes back.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Yeah, maybe. The psychic comes in. Wait, I'm getting a reading. They died.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

It says we hate math. Say four out of ten. And then it says the majority of Americans.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Yeah, that sounds about right. No wonder AI is so bad at math. Humans are bad at math, and AI learns from humans. It's like, I don't know. I guess four of ten is the majority. I don't know. You guys told me.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

You guys don't know what you're doing either. Next one is starvation can lead to health hazards. Well man. Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Nice. So far, we've just got all these good advice. Fish need water. If you don't eat, you die. Breathing oxygen in good.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

The next one is federal agents raid gun shop. Find weapons. Yeah. What else do you think?

SPEAKER_00 23:47

They're all over the walls.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Diana was still alive hours before she died.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Who's riding these? Like they're just out of ideas. Like they're just, it's the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Yeah. There's a really good one later on. Army vehicle disappears. An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Yeah, right? Like, oh shoot. It's too good. Well, good news is it worked.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Sweaty.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Man kills himself and runs away.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Yeah. I want to know more about that one too.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Murderer says detective ruined his reputation. A convicted murderer has sued the detective who arrested him, saying the investigator ruined his good name in comments published in the Times news. Such as that detective. He said I was a murderer. Even though I was a convicted, it doesn't mean I am. Actually, that wasn't what it means. And a nuclear explosion would be a disaster.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Wait. What? These are so confusing. Was that one just lost in translation? Because it's from Germany.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Or he actually said the word nothing.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Or he just came out of his house and walked away. I don't know. It's just the headline. There's a picture of three people whose shirts say surf rescue. And it just says think of a headline. Think of a headline.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Little note for later that we forgot to come back to. Whoops.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

I can see where that one was.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Well, I hope it dropped off at 20.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

How long are these teenagers pregnant for?

SPEAKER_01 26:11

And how long are you considering them teens? All right. World Bank says poor people need more money. Well, give it up, World Bank.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

No, no, no, no. They need someone else's money, not ours.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

A one-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

You can clap like this with one hand. You just have to open and close your hand real fast.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Or you could just hit your leg.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Slap your own face.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

You could do the deaf people just like twisting. Yeah. Alright, here's here's the funny one that I say for later. I know this is the last one.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Okay, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Senior Center holds old bag sale.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

This is like the one from earlier where there was all the old people for sale. You're loving this one, huh? It's an old bag. Is that a term you use a lot to describe old people? An old bag?

SPEAKER_00 27:27

When I was younger, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

You're mean.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I don't do it now.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Because you're an old bag.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

I guess that's true.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Alright, and that's it. This shows just how powerful words can be and what happens when things go a little bit wrong, whether it's because of a tight deadline, a tired editor, or just the unpredictable nature of English. These headlines prove that even the most serious organizations can make funny mistakes. The news might be serious, but sometimes it accident it's accidentally hilarious. Remember, even a small act of kindness can be someone's beacon in their darkest moment. Choose kindness every day. Reach out to someone today. You have the power to change a life. Be the signal of hope this world needs to be.