Funny Pick-Up Lines That’ll Make You Smile

Want to break the ice or get someone to laugh? A bit of humor can help you make a great first impression. If you want to charm someone or just share a smile, these funny pick-up lines will help lighten the mood.

https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/bad-pick-up-lines/?sem_campaign=DynTrending_USA&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21799992226&gbraid=0AAAAACk-P2Q-XrjzZyEakTzt1C5PBKTBS&gclid=CjwKCAjwidXQBhAZEiwA4egw6IabRNNMSQwXsTZum8JMpXKXafs_6si2hR2TBtPnT7hcZ57E0xQD5xoCEs4QAvD_BwE

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/relationships/a35005900/funny-bad-pick-up-lines/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=mgu_ga_cos_md_dsa_prog_org_us_21114831030&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21114831030&gbraid=0AAAAAC5jt3PoNGo8uw6YHiboScg4STHmf&gclid=CjwKCAjwidXQBhAZEiwA4egw6EGHWuJArylKaChrt8Aa9xw16cGp2eUD3aWny5dzy8PD3VYYrN1FZBoCCR4QAvD_BwE

https://www.rd.com/list/cheesy-pickup-lines/

https://www.hearthjunction.com/relationships/best-pick-up-lines/?sem_campaign=PMAXHJSITE_USA&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23603359387&gbraid=0AAAAA_PwInwTTXQV1A7g5ep7YtRi8YTXs&gclid=CjwKCAjwidXQBhAZEiwA4egw6JMDMaxDlvv7_SCUpWUOItMwe3jpx3jrdtSPD2l4Gv8fiGkaG4OrlRoCTk0QAvD_BwE

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:15

No pictures for you today. I can do a different one if you want.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Just like everybody else now. Yep. As you just imagine.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

I just finished writing this one. You ready for it?

SPEAKER_00 0:28

So ready.

unknown 0:29

Born ready.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Welcome to the Cashley Show. We are Kevin and Ashley. We started this podcast after recent tragedies to take a break from negativity and discover the good things happening all around us. Today we are talking about funny pickup lines that will make you smile.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Nobody ever uses funny pickup lines on me.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

I I would only get these when I went to church dances. Then like they didn't really ask me to dance so much as they just gave me these corny pickup lines. They were just feeding you lines for fun. And I just laughed and laughed because I think they're hilarious. Some of them. When I was looking for these, they're some pretty dirty ones. So I'm sure I didn't realize that was a thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

That's because you live in your own little side of the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Your own little piece.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah. Well, my attitude changes pretty quickly when it becomes dirty though.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Okay. Noted.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Alright. Want to make someone smile before you even say hello? Here's a list of witty and funny pickup lines that show flirting can be fun and still work. The first one is if you were a triangle, you'd be a cute one.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Oh. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

You don't know what a cute triangle is?

SPEAKER_00 1:55

It's a small little triangle that's super cute.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

The baby. Next one is are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you. I thought that was mostly funny because no one really says fine anymore, do they?

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I don't know. It's been 17 years or longer since I've picked up a woman.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Well, we've been together for like 20, so.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

You know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Alright, on a scale of one to ten, you're a nine, and I'm the one you need.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

That's cute. To make 19.

unknown 2:34

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

So he's bad at math, but maybe maybe he's a small triangle. He's cute.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

The next one is do you need a map? I think I just got lost in your eyes. Do you have a map? There you go. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Okay, I was like, why would they need a map? If I'm lost, I don't give someone else a map. Alright, hit me with it again. Keep all this in, but hit me with it again.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Do you have a map? I think I just got lost in your eyes.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

You shouldn't let me respond though.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Like pretend we're at one of your 18 and older clubs you used to go to with your Von Dutch hat. And you see me over there.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Do you have a map?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

No.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

I think I just got lost in your eyes.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Oh man. Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Do you want me to pause after each one?

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah, ask him. Hit me hit me within like knock knock jokes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

You look familiar. Were we ever in the same were we ever in the same class before?

SPEAKER_00 3:34

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

I could swear we had chemistry. Oh snap. We definitely weren't in the same class. We do now. Definitely weren't in the same class. We're in different states and different grades.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Alright, the next one is I don't know how to flirt, but I'm sure but I sure know how to make things awkward if you're into that.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Pass. True. No, thank you. I have enough awkwardness at home. That's me. I'm out here at the club tonight. So all right.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Is your name Google?

SPEAKER_00 4:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Because you're the answer to everything I'm searching for.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

My name's Jeeves.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Is that gone?

SPEAKER_00 4:21

I don't know. If it's not gone, I'm it's running on like a single laptop somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Alright, next one. What do you call a string of people lifting a mozzarella cheese?

SPEAKER_00 4:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

A cheesy pickup line.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

That's more of a dad joke than a than a pickup line, but still good.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Next one. How much does a polar bear weigh?

SPEAKER_00 4:52

I don't know, like 4,000 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Enough to break the ice, which is what I'm trying to do now.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I ain't got time, lady. I gotta figure out how much a polar bear weighs.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Now I have to think about that.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Alright, next one is I'm just thinking 4,000 pounds is probably way too much. Can we look it up? No, it doesn't matter. But that is very heavy.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Alright, next one. I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Next one. Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Girl, you know I'm hot. I'm sweating. Gotta go home take a shower.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Probably if you're at a club. Yes. Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

You lost your number?

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Oh, I deleted the number from this. All right.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

You even have mine.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

I already have yours. I haven't memorized for many years. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

One of six phone numbers. Most of them from childhood.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Yep. Next one is Titanic.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

That's my icebreaker. How are you? Next one. I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet. That's not sexual, is it?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

No, they're just saying they have a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Oh. That's what it meant.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

What did you think they meant?

SPEAKER_01 6:21

They were just slightly taller because they were sitting on their wallet.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Okay. I didn't know how to do that. Wouldn't they just be lopsided at that point? Like if you're going to take this literally. No one puts their wallet there.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

It's not like we're in Europe and you want to get pickpocketed. Go ahead and get it, but you're going to earn that money.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I've never had a wallet. I don't know where you put it.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Not there.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Alright. Are you a magician?

SPEAKER_00 6:58

No.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Every time I look at you, everyone else disappears. My eyes are all watery now from laughing. So let me see. Alright. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again and again until you do? It's kind of stockery, but kind of funny. Yeah, some of them are kind of like pretty stalkery.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Just shows they're like diligent, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Creepy. Alright. Are you a beaver?

SPEAKER_00 7:29

No.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Because damn girl. I think these are so funny. We're like halfway done.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I only had 30.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

It can be a short episode, doesn't have to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

It's a movie. Alright, next one.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Hit me with it.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

I don't like to chase women, but I'd put my crocs in sport mode for you.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

No, thank you. Please move along. I'm just here to dance, okay?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

And they wore their crocs to the dance party.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Yeah, right. Who's wearing yeah. Anyways.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Even if there wasn't gravity, I'd still fall for you.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

I like that one because it's science.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Yeah. Next one.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Is your name Chapstick?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

No.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Because you are the Balm. Balm, B-A-L-N. No, yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

I'm there. I was able to connect those real tough dots.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Well, I don't know if I you could hear me.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

So just had the blank expression on my face.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Well, I didn't know if you thought I said Bomb B-O-M-B, B-A-L-M.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Oh no, I got it. I'm just not going home with you.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

You're already home with me. Alright, next one. I bet you're great at hide and seek. People as gorgeous as you can really be hard to find. We're impressed. Next one. Feel my shirt. No. Know what it's made of?

SPEAKER_00 9:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Boyfriend material.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Oh no. I like it. Dug me down and pop me back up. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

I love these. I think they're hilarious. Alright, next one. You're like fine wine, smooth, unforgettable, and better with time.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah. But that's like I don't know. Old? Yeah. Yeah. And I don't drink wine. And so it's like I'm like something that you never drink or do.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

Next one. Hey, tie your shoelaces. I don't want you falling for anyone else. Alright. Oops.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

This should ask if you want me to tie your shoelaces.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

That one really only I don't know. That one really, like, if someone falls because their shoes untied, perfect time to use that one.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Other than that, it's like, what are you talking about? I'm wearing my dance shoes. They don't even have laces. I'm wearing my crocs. Yeah. Got these crocs on, boy.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

My dancing crocs. Next one. Well, here I am. Hi. What are your other two wishes?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

Oh, nice. Didn't see where it was going.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Next one. If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine lives with you.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Although that means I won't be able to get rid of you for a long time. What if things don't work out?

SPEAKER_01 10:49

What if I become crazy?

unknown 10:52

Already there.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Alright. Would you grab my arm so I can brag to my friends that I was touched by an angel? I think you'll like my last two.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Okay. Are we already at the last two?

SPEAKER_01 11:05

We're at 26 of 30. Coming up.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Next one. I heard you like bad boys. And I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty bad at flirting.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Nope. Walk along. Move along.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Next one. Here's a lime. Thank you. This is my best pickup lime. No?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

It would depend on the night. Depend on how I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Oh, I guess I only have 29. I guess I lost one.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Oh well. Here's the last two. Ready?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Ready.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Are you the square root of negative one?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

I.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Are you?

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Isn't I the square root of negative one?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

I don't know. It says because you can't be real.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

So this only works if someone doesn't know what the square root of negative one is. Which is a letter I. Which is. Which is an imaginary number. So no, you can walk along with the Crocs people.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Okay, here's the next one. Ready?

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken from KFC. No, you like that one?

SPEAKER_00 12:22

So some sort of spider lady or what? Chicken spider lady?

SPEAKER_01 12:27

That looks funny. Alright. Do you got any good ones from your your days?

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

No? No. I bet you've never even used them.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Pickup lines like that? Mm-hmm. I don't think so. Never had to.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Kevin just got the confidence and the funny he doesn't need pickup lines. Nope. He's just easily funny. Alright. Confidence and laughter work well together, right, Kevin?

SPEAKER_00 12:57

So I've been told.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Whether these lines get you a date or just a laugh, don't be shy. Have some fun. The best connections often start with a smile. Remember, even a small act of kindness can be someone's beacon.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Like this? This smile?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Uh-huh. In their darkest moment.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

I want to do the smile from the Beavers and Butthead SNL that we was a butthead. The man with the exposed gum. I don't think I can get my face to do that.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

I wonder if they had like wax on his teeth or something. Choose kindness every day. Reach out to someone today. You have the power to change a life. Be the signal of hope this world needs.