Funny Tombstones

What would you want your last words to be, the ones carved in stone for strangers to read for centuries? Most of us never think about it. But a few people did, and their choices are truly brilliant.

https://wintersong.wordpress.com/favorite-quotations/headstone-humor-here-lies/

​​https://www.rd.com/list/funniest-tombstones-that-really-exist/

https://discover.hubpages.com/entertainment/Weird_but_True_Strange_Unusual_Tombstones

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome to the Cashley Show. We are Kevin and Ashley. Hi, Kevin.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Guess they can't hear my winks.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Nope. Still can't hear it. We start this podcast after recent tragedies to take a break from negativity and discover the good things happening all around us. Today we are doing a word of the day.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

So Kevin, I'm gonna tell Kevin a word and the definition, and he gets to use it sometime during today. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Ready?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Okay. Yep, ready.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

The word is teradiddle.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

What what? Come on now.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

This is a petty lie, fib, or pretentious nonsense.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Teradiddle.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Teradiddle.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Okay. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Good luck.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Yeah, that's for real. That's sounds like a made-up word.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

All right. Today's shout-out. Kevin, who are we doing a shout out for? I didn't do this one. I left it up to you because I did the last two.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Um boy, I'm on the spot. I'm thinking about terraiddle right now. I don't have time for shout-outs.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Teradiddle cannot be your shout-out.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

I mean, I can just do like this is taking a way back. I just do a shout-out to my mom. Okay. Like she listens to a lot of episodes. Thanks, mom, for listening and being a part of things and letting us know. We appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Thank you. All right. Our laffy taffy is how do you weigh a millennial?

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Oh boy. How do you weigh a millennial? Should I on these should I actually guess or should I just be like, I don't know. How do you weigh a millennial?

SPEAKER_01 1:53

You should guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Oh, I should guess. How do you weigh a millennial? So millennials you put avocado toast on a scale.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

No. In Instagram's nice.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Alright. Next up is Cashley's take. Kevin?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Do you prefer f the smell of freshly cut grass or the smell of rain?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Rain. I already knew what what you were going to say as soon as you said grass or I was like, it's gonna be rain. And rain.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

It just rained a little bit outside.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Yeah, it's nice. I I love like the I don't is it ozone? Like I don't know what that smell is called. And I don't does it happen everywhere or like I'm used to it being like I'm gonna say in the city, but I'm not we don't live in the city. Yeah. But like there's pavement and asphalt, so it's hot, and when the rain like, is that like the rain hitting the pavement like Do you want me to look it up? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

You don't know if you want me to look it up?

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Okay, look it up.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Because I pretty sure I've heard people say that like that's ozone.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Mine is grass.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Smell. Fresh cut grass.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I do like the smell of rain by like grass. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

I mean they're both, yeah, they're both nice. But if I have to choose one, I'm gonna choose the one I'm not allergic to. The one that doesn't give me the sniffles. Oh plus, I guess I also like just like after it rains, except for in Texas, it was super muggy. It would rain, you know, it's like a hundred and five degrees, it rains, and then it's done, and it's just like ninety thousand percent humidity and then back to ninety-five degrees or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

So that wasn't as fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

This scent is known as pet richer, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Pet richer. I don't know. After it rains is known as pet richer.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Yeah, it comes from a combination of things. So it says soil bacteria, oh, plant oils and ozone. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

So that's partially right.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Hmm. So I love I love the smell of plant oils and soil bacteria. Hmm. Doesn't seem great.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

No. Alright. Today's episode is funny tombstone sayings.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

These always remind me, this is maybe a little bit morbid, but of like senior quotes in like the yearbook, right? Like your picture and then your quote.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

That's kind of what we didn't do that in high school.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

You guys' high school was kind of lame. These always kind of remind me of that. Like we had a lot of people, so didn't have time to get all their quotes.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah, you had not very many people.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

I mean it was smaller than yours, yeah. Like my class was like four hundred and something people. So not like tiny, but I don't remember how many were in my yeah, I would imagine like 600 plus, probably maybe closer to 800.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Who knows?

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Who knows?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Sorry, keep going. What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Uh I think that was it. Oh, okay. It was all done.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

All right, a great epitaph is part punchline, part final statement, and completely unforgettable.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Is that what that's called? The saying on tombstone? What'd you say? Epitaph?

unknown 4:57

Epitaph.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

It's a short phrase of poem honoring a deceased person.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Okay, yeah, never heard that word before.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

The ones collected here range from dark comic to uh delightfully absurd, showing that with the right words on your headstone, you can really have the last laugh. Alright, so Mel Blanc brought some of the most iconic cartoon characters to life, including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety Bird, Woody Woodpecker, and Porky Pig. He was also the voice behind Looney Toon's famous sign-off. That that's all, folks. When Blanc died in 1989, his tombstone made sure he had the last word. That's all, folks. Mel Blanc, man of one thousand voices.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

That's pretty good. That's all, folks.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

I forgot about that one until I did this.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Oh. Like, did you know about it before?

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Yeah, but I just hadn't heard it for so long. I'd forgotten about that saying. Yeah. Some epitaphs capture an entire story in just one sentence. Harry Edsill Smith of Albany, New York, has one of the darkest and funniest. Born in 1903, died in 1942, looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

I wonder if that's really how he died.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Uh because what? He was only like what 30 something years old, 40 years old?

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Almost 40, 39.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Or what if he was like sick and knew that he was dying, so like he put that just as funny tombstone things.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

I don't know. Next is TV legend Merv Griffin. He hosted his own talk show from 1962 to 1986. He performed on Broadway and created Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Who's this guy?

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Merv Griffin.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

You should bring him a picture of him.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Do you remember his name?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Merv Griffin? Hmm. I don't think so. Okay. Nope, don't recognize him. I mean, it almost looks like uh his talk show ranch.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Andy Griffith. Yeah, kind of. So you probably wouldn't have ever seen his talk show. Yeah. Always a showman, Merv planned his final sign-off ahead of time. His epitaph says, I will not be right back after this message. In Princeton, New Jersey, William Hahn, Jr. knew exactly what he wanted to say and made sure he would say it. A week or two before he died, he ordered his own headstone. The back reads, I told you I was sick. Rodney Dangerfield spent his career saying he got no respect.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Finally, a name that I recognize.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

And he made sure his final act was the same. His headstone reads, There goes the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Yeah. Yeah. To say for sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

A cemetery in Thurmont, Maryland has an epitaph that is both thoughtful and funny. Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

In 1880, in Naco, Arizona, Lester Moore worked as a Wells Fargo station agent. A risky job that meant moving money and chasing robbers. One day he delivered a packet, a damaged package to Hank Dudson, who shot him. Became furious. Their argument turned violent. Both men died. Lester's grave fittingly in Tombstone, Arizona, sums it up. Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a forty-four, no less, no more. Winston Churchill faced death with the same sharp wit he showed in life. His epitaph reads I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

He thinks quite highly of himself.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Or maybe he was naughty and was like, Oh man, he's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

There's a lot to deal with here. Yep. A lot to unpack. From old Winnie.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Frances Aline Thatcher seemed to enjoy a bit of drama. The back of her tombstone reads, Damn, it's dark down here.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

She's not dead. Get her back out.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Not all epitaphs are funny. Some are chilling. One simply reads, murdered by human wolves.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Whoa. Whose is that? I kind of want to know a little bit more about their story. Because I are they talking about werewolves? Or just the capitalist system and they're not a fan of it? Killed by human wolves. Oh. It's too small, I can't read it.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

It says, so this girl was 18, despite local legends of werewolf's attack. This is from 1917. Said that it was actually her death was actually from a botched illegal abortion.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Oh. So this is maybe a pterodidal.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

Check.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

All right. Dr. Edward Russell Gann died in 1983 in Sigourney, Iowa. It seems he had a favorite place in mind. The back of his headstone reads, I'd rather be in Acapulco.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Can you choose? Like, I mean, Acapulco, that's Mexico, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

So I wonder, like, I mean, I get that it's it's a joke and it's funny. But could he actually I mean like you just buy a plot, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

But can you do it in another country? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

I don't know. You could just cremate them and spread their ashes there. Same but cheaper.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

You can't just dump body ashes anywhere you want.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

You can dump them in the ocean, the fish will eat them. Doesn't seem illegal. Seems like food for the fish.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Yeah. I don't want you to do that to me.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

I know. I already know what you want.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

I've been fighting drowning and water my whole life. It's not where I want to end up.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

You want to be compressed into a gym.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah, and you have to wear me.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Okay. Alright. Time for a riddle.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Forward I am heavy. Backward I am.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Sorry. Alright, now I'm listening. Here I am. I'm focused.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Forward I am heavy. Backward I am not. What am I? Kevin stumped. I am.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Forward I am heavy. Backward I am not.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

It's simpler than you're thinking.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

It always is. The last one that we did, I don't remember what the last one was, but I was like way too deep into it. And it's like just a simple, dumb. Forward I am heavy. Backward I am not. So like a spring? But is that along the lines of like not deep?

SPEAKER_00 11:32

No.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Even more basic than that.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Ton. Dang it.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

The word play.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Got me again. Alright. We have this is like the newly wed game.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

For me and you? Yep. Okay. So I mean, I don't know who else it would be. There's only two of you. This is not going to go well.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

It's not.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Where and on what day did you go on your official first date? I don't know if it means us or you specifically.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Yeah. You want to know like my first date in my entire life? I would think like our first date. Yeah. Yeah. That makes more sense. And it's going to be your dad's house where you you tricked me into thinking that you always made chicken pot pie and made it delicious.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

You're the one that chose chicken pot pie.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Never to be made again, folks.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

I have made chicken pot pie a lot of times.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Not that one.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Because I could never find the recipe again.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Yeah, the one that the one you bait and switched me and hooked me with. I was like, dang, this is delicious. I'll probably spend the rest of my life with this.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

You forgot what day.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Never oh what day? Oh, Wednesday. Oof.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Don't worry, I don't know the day either. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

But like, okay, but what about time frame? It would be like summertime, right? Or like fall.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

I would say it was winter-ish. Oh. Because like you came in and opened, I worked at a bank. He came in and opened his account. And my aunt has just died. And your family had had a fight, and it was Thanksgiving at your dad's house. You guys had a fight. And so we both had like a not great Thanksgiving. So it was after that, I would have said, I would say. So probably in December.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Really?

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Maybe January.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

It's almost as bad as starting dating someone in February. Like, what are you doing? Now I gotta buy this girl I've been dating for a few weeks a Christmas present.

unknown 13:40

Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

I guess you were worth it.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

You don't know. You don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I don't remember. I was high on Pop Pie.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Okay, well, we at least both didn't know the same information.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

We both don't know what day we first went on a date. We probably also don't know a lot of things since that was a long time ago. Twenty years ago. That's a long time. Yeah. Alright, back to tombstones. Okay. This one is a pyramid tomb in New Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

That seems big.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

This one is a crazy car in New Jersey. Just like a cement car.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Right. That's their was it what is that called? The sarcophagus? Like the thing up it's up above ground? Right? Like they're they're buried inside the car? That's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

In the cement of that car?

SPEAKER_02 14:32

I would think so. Isn't that what a sarcophagus is? Like it's the like in the the mummy movies, right? Like they f they make it into the pyramids or they do whatever. I think that they like they take the top off of the giant tub thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Spelled that very wrong.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

That's okay. I wouldn't know how to spell sarcophagus.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Burial container.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Yeah. So that's what I meant. Or made of cement around them or displayed above ground rather than buried. Yeah, that's what I imagine that car is.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Pyramid too? Uh probably. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

It's weird. John Denby was a dentist, and his son Maurice became one too. When John died in 1927, his tombstone said, I'm f I'm filling my last cavity. Maurice died in 1964, and his stone just added two words. Made two.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Look at this one. This one's also in New Jersey. Yeah, so there's like it looks like I don't know if that's a train behind it. Then there's like a digger in a parking lot, and there's just like this cement slab above ground with a headstone and a fence around it. Enough for one plot. It was one burial plot. In the middle of a parking lot. So that is also New Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Well, sub with New Jersey and weird burial stuff.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Crazy stuff. Texas has a lot of really cool big things.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah, like big monuments on the on the graves. Yeah. But they're not like sarcophaguses. Yeah. Sarcophagi.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah, like an aim big angel or yeah, lot of lot of cool stuff.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Yeah. A lot of s in the town we lived in, a lot of like what were there was like what three, four cemeteries? Yeah, there was I mean the town only had what like 8,000 people like in it. Oh, it had that big. Yeah, but it had like there were a lot of people buried there. Anyways.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

In Rudoso, a man named John Yeast could not resist one last pun. Here lies John Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Hate when the yeast doesn't rise.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

A cemetery in Uniontown, Pennsylvania offers a cautionary tale in this verse. Here lies the body of John Blake, stepped on the gas instead of the break. Poor John.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Nice little nice little poem.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

At Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia, Margaret Daniels gets the last laugh. She always said her feet were killing her, but nobody believed her.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

She must have been diabetic.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Maybe she had plantar fasciitis.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

That is maybe she had both. Not all.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah. In Atlanta, Georgia, a widow made sure her husband's reputation stayed with him even after death. His epitaph simply reads, Gone but not forgiven.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Oh dang. Spiteful.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Yeah, well, make better choices, husband. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England, a musician's passing marked with a fitting melody and sense of finality. On the 22nd of June, John Fiddle went out of tune. That's in a couple days. A headstone in Stowe, Vermont is both mysterious and defiant. I was somebody who is none of your business.

unknown 17:50

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Yeah, and it just says a headstone. So we don't know. We can't look him up.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Well, what if that's all that's on there at all? There's no name.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

I think that's what it's saying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Well, that's sad for you.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

I bet it's Edward Snowden's relatives.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

You're never going to know where your loved ones are buried. I think it was in the early 1800s or something. Anna Hopewell's grave in Innosburg Falls, Vermont, might be the most dedicated to its joke. Here lies the body of Anna, done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, but the skin of the thing that made her go.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Oh, she slipped on a banana peel?

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

I wonder if this is another pterodidal.

unknown 18:38

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Do I get extra credit for using it more than that?

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Yeah, good job moving it, using it twice. The tomb of John Davis and wife.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

That's a lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

It's like a big monument kind of, not big. Right, but it I mean it's it's got like people, like stone people standing in it.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

It's like twenty feet by twenty feet or so.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah, it's big. More pictures of it. Oh, there's some fellas sitting in a chair, stone people in stone chairs.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah, what is this all about? Why would you do this? Do we do that?

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Alright. In Winslow, Maine, someone enjoyed making a pun with a man's surname. The epitaph of Beza Wood reads, In memory of Beza Wood, departed this life November 2nd, 1837, aged forty-five years, here lies one wood enclosed in wood, one wood within another. The outer wood is very good. We cannot praise the other. Yeah. Headstone in Wimborn England doubles as a treasure hunt with a twist. Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, dig four feet deep, and thou wilt find a penny.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

A whole penny.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

That's a lot of digging for a penny. Someone in Ribsford, England clearly had strong feelings about his marriage. The epitaph on Old Clerk Wallace's grave is direct. The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna. Old Clerk Wallace wanted a wife, and the devil sent him Anna. And finally, a grave that doubles as a product review. Ellen Shannon of Gerard, Pennsylvania was fatally burned March twenty first, eighteen seventy by the explosion of a lamp filled with wait for it? Ari Danforth's non-explosive burning fluid.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Dang.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

The irony is eternal. Alright, all of these epitaphs have one thing in common. They refuse to go quietly. Whether it's a comedian telling one last joke, a widow settling a score, or someone that just wanted to be remembered with a smile, these inscriptions remind us that we still have some say in how we're remembered. Death may be inevitable, but it seems the punchline is too. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

What would you uh what would what would you put?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Well I would be cremated so I don't need to have a headstone.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

But you could still do like a uh what do they call those where it's like above ground and they just it's like a little memorial plaque or something, like it's a big thing. And like they'll they'll I think they even put the ashes like the urn. They put the urn in there.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yeah, that's how my step grandpa, step step step grandpa's is.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Yeah. So what would you put on there?

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Just my name. What would you put?

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Your name, apostrophe s husband.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

You would do something funny. What would it be?

SPEAKER_02 21:44

That would be funny. Ash husband.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

All right. June 22nd is National Onion Ring Day. So enjoy some onion rings.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

22nd?

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Do places like actually honor this? And they have like reduced price onion rings or something?

SPEAKER_00 22:02

There's like something every day.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

So I would assume people are bored.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Yeah, I could tell you something for every single day next week. But I just chose onion rings because that was my favorite one.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Yeah, well, I like onion rings. I I hope someone is someone who makes onion rings, some restaurant. Hopefully they're playing along and so they do something.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Maybe I'll make onion rings that day. No, okay. That'll work. Alright. Here we go. Would you rather, Kevin?

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Would you rather sweat?

SPEAKER_02 22:30

I used to love these. Didn't you have like a whole book or like uh there's a game. Is it a game? Yeah. I remember you like something you were always asking me. We driving places doing things, and you have like it's like whole like deck or whatever, right? You're like pulling around. It's like, yeah, we only have two more hours. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Would you rather sweat ranch dressing on a hot summer day or fart confetti every time you laugh? Uh I'd rather fart confetti.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Yeah, I think I would choose the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Ranch dressing's gonna get real stinky.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Yeah. Plus, I don't think I would want to eat ranch that I sweated. What's gross? It's funny though. Fart confetti.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Do you have anything else?

SPEAKER_02 23:19

Like I'm a unicorn or something. Uh no, no, I don't. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Remember, even a small act of kindness can be someone's beacon in their darkest moment. Choose kindness every day. Reach out to someone today. You have the power to change a life. Be the signal of hope this world needs.