NN - S2 EP02 - From Heated Toilet Seats To Facebook Breaches: Tech, Privacy, And Absurdity

💯Originally released in April 2021

We riff on comfort tech and end up in a serious look at data, labor, and privacy. Comedy keeps it light, but the questions bite: how much convenience is worth the cost, and who pays it when systems scale.

• heated toilet seats and bidets as dignity tech
• satire of unsafe speed culture via fake microwave ad
• family Easter moments and Gonzaga jokes for texture
• guarded data centers and Facebook’s resurfaced breach
• ambient tracking of non-users across devices
• Amazon labor pressures and deflection tactics
• valuation games and the ethics of exaggeration
• environmental DNA from air and future policing
• humor, nostalgia, and a reflective sign-off
• share-and-support reminder for an ad-free show

BE GREAT. DO GREAT THINGS. 😎

PS - I borrowed the episode thumbnail from Canon about five years ago, but I can't remember which Canon.

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open And Bidet Banter
• 2:30 The Chernobyl Microwave Spoof
• 6:58 Live Check, Easter Chat, And Family Bits
• 10:20 Gonzaga Confusion And Sports Jokes
• 13:20 Data Centers, Privacy Leaks, And Facebook
• 18:40 Amazon, Labor, And Pee Bottle PR
• 24:20 Valuations, Trump Probe, And Deflection

Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:00

Nerds and Nonsense was recorded to hard drive in front of a previously recorded studio audience. Wait, no. That's not right. Oh Random Moments with Larry's Mom.

SPEAKER_02: 0:46

What'll you get up?

SPEAKER_03: 0:47

A bidet. Toilet seat.

SPEAKER_02: 0:50

Oh that's a French.

SPEAKER_03: 0:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 0:56

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_03: 0:57

It's uh it's a heated toilet seat. So she has the heated, you know, seat cover thing that keeps the seat warm. And she's had that for like two years and loves it, right? And just every day, this is the best. It's the best gift to give somebody a heated toilet seat, by the way. Oh my gosh. So this so we've been looking at these plug-in or something. Yeah, so it just replaces the existing seat and and sits on there. And it has it has a retractable stainless steel dual nozzle sprayer, you know, that that comes out. Yeah. And you have a remote control. The seat, the seat is heated, so it's a heated seat itself, and you can control how warm you want the seat. And then the water, you can control how warm you want the water, and you can control the nozzle. Oh my god. Back and forth. Uh it can oscillate and pulse and do all these things. So it has, you know, like a front wash, a back wash, or separate nozzles and everything. And then heated air dry, warm air dry. I just think it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02: 2:23

I need a new toilet.

SPEAKER_03: 2:29

Well, we need measurements. Well, we need measurements. We need measurements. Get you one of those raised ones, absolutely.

unknown: 2:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 2:41

Well I can get them right down to the deep.

SPEAKER_03: 2:47

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you want to.

SPEAKER_02: 2:51

You know, I can take that around to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 2:53

I think you should look at the bidets. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_02: 2:56

No, I don't think.

SPEAKER_03: 3:00

Remote control. Hey, listen, I spent my whole life saying I spent my whole life worried about who's going to wipe my ass when I'm old. Who's now I don't have to worry about that anymore. Because I know Stacy's already told me from day one. She's like, you know, I'm not gonna wipe your ass when you're old. I'm covered now. Saving.

SPEAKER_02: 3:30

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03: 3:36

Damn it. That's that's not right either. You can't get good help around here. Are you tired of waiting three minutes for your microwave popcorn to pop? Sick of waiting over seven minutes for your microwave dinner to cook? Introducing the world's first compact industrial strength microwave for home use the Chernobyl. Cook an entire 24-pound frozen turkey in under a minute. In fact, most things like frozen dinners and small pets are done before you even turn it on. The all-new Chernobyl has been tested thoroughly against today's leading microwave models and melted all of them rather easily. No Geiger counter in your house, no worries. The Chernobyl has a liquid crystal display that clearly indicates the obscene levels of radiation you and your loved ones are enjoying. Listen, you don't have time to do things right. And frankly, you don't deserve anything better. Put this thing in your kitchen and create your very own exclusion zone. The Chernobyl. Are you serious? Give me a long count. Yes. How long was that? Uh not long enough. Keep going.

SPEAKER_01: 5:16

One two three four five.

SPEAKER_03: 5:30

Now bust it out. You're good. Your levels are good. Rocket. Live.

SPEAKER_01: 6:59

Nice.

SPEAKER_03: 7:00

I don't know, felt kind of dead. Well, a little flat because of tinny connection, you know, and everything, but the audience loved it. Holy crap, did you hear him? You didn't hear him.

SPEAKER_04: 7:12

Why are they throwing tomatoes? This ain't a farmer's market.

SPEAKER_03: 7:17

What the hell? Happy Easter, man. What have you been up to? Did you get out to uh family dinner?

SPEAKER_04: 7:22

Yeah, yeah. Awesome. We got my mom birth ate up, Eastered out. That's right.

SPEAKER_03: 7:28

87. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 7:29

Yeah. She said at the retirement home they had uh she had an Easter egg hunt. I'm like, what? Because well, just down in the lobby, they kind of laid them out on the tables. She says, I think they think we're stupid. Sounds like it. Wait a thing they hunted Easter eggs.

SPEAKER_03: 7:51

Priceless. Priceless. Well, my you know that gift I bought my mom didn't show up today. It was out for delivery from Horseheads, New York, since like 6 48 a.m. And never did show up. Supposed to show up by 8 p.m. You know, it's only like 20 minutes away.

SPEAKER_04: 8:07

Somebody just ate that bread, buddy.

SPEAKER_03: 8:11

But it has not shown up yet, which was a trip, but she'll get it tomorrow and still crack up laughing. That's gonna be hilarious. Eventually. Yes, eventually. How was dinner though? Did you have a good dinner?

SPEAKER_04: 8:26

Oh yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03: 8:27

Or was it lunch? You did lunch?

SPEAKER_04: 8:29

Ribs, barbecue. Ham was served, I do believe. All the salty cured meats were present.

SPEAKER_03: 8:36

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04: 8:38

Deviled egg things, they were there.

SPEAKER_03: 8:40

Oh, I love deviled eggs. Yes, good rolls. Oh man. That sounds awesome.

SPEAKER_04: 8:48

It was not half bad.

SPEAKER_03: 8:50

That sounds awesome. Got to hang with the family. How was the weather down there today?

SPEAKER_04: 8:55

I was decent. 62s and largely cloudy here and there, a little windy. We didn't have any.

SPEAKER_03: 9:04

No sun here. I mean, it was all day gloomy, you know. But I would imagine I couldn't tell you because I haven't left my house, but I would imagine that the whole Spokane area is pretty excited about uh Gonzaga Bulldogs making it to the finals. You know, in the final four. Gonna face Baylor. And I know how big you are on NCAA basketball, Mark, so I wanted to get your opinion.

SPEAKER_04: 9:32

Oh man, I thought we were talking about dogs. I'm like, all right. I love Bulldogs, they're cool.

SPEAKER_03: 9:37

So who's gonna win the Final Four of Finals tomorrow night? Is it going to be Baylor or Gonzaga Bulldogs?

SPEAKER_04: 9:47

I'm rooting for dogs, man. Anything with dogs in it, they're bound to win.

SPEAKER_03: 9:51

Jimmy Kimmel says Gonzaga doesn't exist. Have you seen that? He's a little late. Uh no. I mean I don't watch him, but I watch some of his skits, you know. I'll see on YouTube and stuff, and every once in a while. But this thing he has with Gonzaga University started a couple years ago. He's like, ah, it's a made up place, they don't exist. And he's been playing it quite well for a couple years.

SPEAKER_04: 10:14

Oh yes. I keep seeing that headlines, and I have to admit, I thought the Gonzaga was a dude.

SPEAKER_03: 10:21

No, no, a pla it's a university, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 10:24

That makes a lot of sense now. Yeah. I wasn't gonna ask questions. Why'd that dude beat up UCLA? Yeah, man. Gonzaga is a new a new popular guy in the news. Must throw a ball real good.

SPEAKER_03: 10:42

Hey, speaking of news, I don't know if you know, you you know, I saw an article today that had pictures of the of one of the Primeville data centers in inside one of the Primeville Facebook data centers down there. It's very blue, isn't it? Oh man, it was he it was an incredible server farm, but it's one of many there in Primeville. And uh yeah, it was racks upon racks of Facebook servers. Yep.

SPEAKER_04: 11:06

They've taken over that property up there and posted guards, you can't even get near it. They don't want you even looking at it. Don't even look at us. Yes, you go up to the perimeter, you have to turn your back.

SPEAKER_03: 11:16

They have signs out front that say Amazon.

SPEAKER_04: 11:21

They have signs out front that way out front. You can't get nowhere near that building.

unknown: 11:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 11:26

Well there's only a special they built a special road to get all the equipment up in there.

SPEAKER_01: 11:31

Right.

SPEAKER_04: 11:31

And then they've blocked that road off. Of course. It's got concrete blocks around it, so you can't drive up there. Right.

SPEAKER_03: 11:37

Well, you know, it was this isn't a a recent leak, but it's recent news because like somebody, you know, published more widely published, I should say, five hundred and uh thirty-three million people's personal data from Facebook.

SPEAKER_04: 11:52

I heard about that.

SPEAKER_03: 11:53

Yeah, yeah. So that was actually a leak from 2019, and Facebook has since patched that leak. But here's the point it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's all, you know, they still have all of this data. In every, you know, like I said, before 2013, everybody was siphoning all this stuff off for all kinds of logistics and and stuff. So, you know, there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people that have access to, you know, your advertising ID and all these sorts of things. It's just crazy. But I saw that article on uh in Gadget Personal Data for 533 million Facebook users leaks on the web.

SPEAKER_04: 12:32

I heard there's one guy it didn't happen to, though. Yeah, one guy. One guy in America. His name is me.

SPEAKER_03: 12:39

Yo, exactly. Did not happen to Mark.

SPEAKER_04: 12:44

Facebook has not breached me in any form or fashion. Well, that's not true.

SPEAKER_03: 12:48

That's not true. Even if you're not on Facebook, you have been breached, my friend. Yes, I know it. I know it. You have what you what you have in your, you know, that rectangle you carry.

SPEAKER_04: 12:59

Yes, the rectangle. I know it knows my removing. It's listening to us right now. Of course.

SPEAKER_03: 13:04

Yes. I'll bet that's why. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04: 13:07

Tells me every day what we've talked about.

SPEAKER_03: 13:09

I know. Right in the news headlines, right? Oh, Larry was thinking about bidets. Boom.

SPEAKER_04: 13:14

There's uh my phone, it'll offer it to me somewhere on YouTube or something. Right. Hey, remember when you Larry's talking about this? Well, here's a video for it.

SPEAKER_03: 13:23

Yup, exactly.

SPEAKER_04: 13:25

Like, wait a minute, man.

SPEAKER_03: 13:27

Well, you know, you've got uh a Facebook, you know, the heart of Facebook there. We're starting to build our own little Amazon uh deal here in Spokane. Like, I mean, we've got Amazon here, we got a fulfillment center. They're doing like two more uh facilities out in the valley, I think. Yeah, Amazon. And so I'm hoping, I'm thinking, we're probably gonna end up with the you know two-hour drone drill delivery stuff.

SPEAKER_04: 13:53

Well, did you know the the less popular or less known secret is that Apple is here also. Oh, right, yes. They are across the road from Facebook and they have a sizable facility themselves.

SPEAKER_03: 14:04

Oh, of course, yes.

SPEAKER_04: 14:06

And they don't talk about nothing or anything like that. See, Facebook, they they bought us a or they redid the skateboard park. Somebody bitched in the newspaper about them using up all our water and just coming up there. Oh, they because all the people that work there are not from here.

unknown: 14:23

Right.

SPEAKER_04: 14:23

But well they are now because they live here. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 14:26

Right.

SPEAKER_04: 14:27

All the people when they built the place, that's when they hired people around Central Oregon.

SPEAKER_03: 14:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 14:33

Because a lot of these Priontkians did not want this kind of corporation around here clearing over us.

SPEAKER_03: 14:40

Amazon is, you know, it's the same with everything though. I remember, you know, years and years ago, I mean, any type of store tries to open up anywhere, and there's always going to be somebody who doesn't want it there, who doesn't like that, you know. So there's always that. I mean, uh Walmarts, Targets, you know, they they have to fight community neighborhoods and zoning, and I mean, so it's tough to begin with. But when you carry the weight of these guys, I mean, you're like Disney. Disney pretty much ran Orlando. You know what I mean? And and then the surrounding area. Um, and that that gets kind of crazy. But I saw another thing about Amazon recently, and that was that they finally uh came out and addressed the pee in the bottle denial tweet. That their employees, you know, pee in bottles. I saw this on TechCrunch. Says Amazon kicked off the holiday weekend by backtracking slightly on social media offensive that unfolded in the waning days of a historic union unionization vote. The earlier comments reportedly arrived as just Jeff Bezos was pushing for a more aggressive strategy, along with taking on Senators Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, the Amazon News Twitter account went toe-to-toe with Congressman Mark Pokan. I don't know if that's the pronunciation, but the Wisconsin Democrat cited off reported stories of Amazon workers urinating in bottles in reaction to comments from consumer CEO Dave Clark. You don't really believe the peeing in bottles thing, do you? The account asked. If that were true, nobody would work for us. The truth is that we have over a million incredible employees around the world who are proud of what they do and have wages and health care from day one. And then the congressman responds, uh, Yes, I do believe your workers. You don't? So, anyways, it goes on and on, and essentially Yeah, they come out and said, Yeah. So ours do, yes, of course. So do Uber drivers, so do you know Lyft drivers, so do UPS, and and you know, they say everybody else. So as with everything, deflection seems to work quite well in 2020, 2021, 2017, 2018. Deflection, my friends, and that is if you're doing something wrong, point out that others are doing it too.

SPEAKER_04: 16:58

Yes. Well, the good news about Amazon is now you can go on their site and get a pea bottle for$6.99. Deliver to your door. There you go. There you go. Exactly. I mean now it's on sale. The Amazon pea bottle on sale now. Catch it up on Amazon. Get them before they run out.$6.99, folks.$6.99.

SPEAKER_03: 17:19

Plus uh pee all day prime subscription. Get yourself a prime subscription.

SPEAKER_04: 17:25

Yes. Order you a pea bottle today.

SPEAKER_03: 17:28

Speaking of uh deflection, um, I also saw this is this is a great one. Documents provide insight into Trump organization amid criminal probe. This is on CNN, and I'm gonna play a clip from this. But essentially, you know, this is one of several, there's many investigations. And uh but here's what the story says. Amidst the criminal investigation into the Trump organization, a CNN examination of sworn depositions, interviews with former employees, and published accounts shows that Trump has tried repeatedly to push responsibility for his valuation decisions onto his chief financial officer, Alan Weiselberg. Documents and depot and depositions appear to show that even as Trump claimed that he left those uh valuation decisions to someone else, he was also deeply involved in running his business. And yeah, so this 2007 deposition, this is on CNN, this 2007 deposition has him where he he responds, and I'll let the uh the CNN reporter uh cover that.

SPEAKER_00: 18:29

And twice when Trump was asked specifically about the values ascribed to Trump Tower in a golf course, both times the former president said Mr. Weisselberg did that one. But the deposition also reveals that Donald Trump was very involved. He was asked point blank if he had inflated the value of his assets. Trump said, not beyond reason. He was asked, did he exaggerate? Trump said everybody does who wouldn't. And they asked him specifically about one of these properties, Seven Springs. It's the family estate in New York, just north of New York City. And in his documents, the financial statements, Trump had valued that property one year at$50, I'm sorry, excuse me, at$80 million, the next year at$150 million. So the lawyer asked Trump, what made up for that huge leap in value? And Trump said that was based on his opinion. He was asked, did you consult any appraisers or any experts? And Trump said no, it was his opinion. So the big question here is, were these embellishments something that falls within the norms of New York real estate, or did it cross the line into illegal activity? And prosecutors are going through millions of pages of documents, talking to multiple witnesses. Um, one of the key people in this is clearly going to be Alan Weisselberg.

SPEAKER_03: 19:37

I mean, listen. I'm I I, you know, just because somebody else does it doesn't make it right. And listen, we're not talking, oh, everybody pads, you know, the value of their assets. Everybody who wouldn't do that, everybody does that. It's, you know, it's expected. No, it's not. That's you know I mean, I get that people say that all the time, you know. But that that's the reality. The reality is no, it it's not expected, nor is it legal, and doing so, you know, is underhanded at the very least, if not illegal. And he's always done, you know, in my opinion, that underhanded thing. That's what you know uh it's baffling to me that people don't get that.

SPEAKER_04: 20:19

Yeah. Yep. He never had to not.

SPEAKER_03: 20:23

Never had to not, exactly. But speaking of like information everywhere, like, you know, Facebook data, I mean you can't you you can only hide to a certain extent. Even even the most argent, you know, uh security conscious folks, you know. But then I just saw an article that I thought was pretty cool uh about the future. Scientists show you can collect DNA from the air. It could help understand airborne diseases and solve crimes. This was on In Gadget Today. Scientists and investigators might need, not need to scoop up DNA from surfaces in the future. According to Science Focus, researchers at the Queen Mary University of London have shown that you can collect environmental DNA, e-DNA, from the air. The team used a peristolic pump combined with pressure filters to grab samples of a naked mole rat DNA for five to twenty minutes, and then used standard kits to find and sequence genes in the resulting samples, and this method not only pinpointed the mole rat's DNA, both in their housing and in the room at large, but caught some human DNA at the same time. Any blah blah blah blah practical uses are a long way off, but still, right? DNA from the air. Legit. I'm telling you, man, it's your, you know, privacy. As someone who is so, you know, advocated for people protecting their privacy, and I still do, and I strongly do, you know, understand what you're getting into and protecting your privacy. But I mean, there is a point where, you know, stepping outside your house is public space, even, you know. And this kind of stuff is really fascinating to me. You know. DNA from the air, man. Hey, tell me if you can hear this. Let's see. Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_04: 22:28

No, put the mic closer to your butt. I didn't hear nothing.

SPEAKER_03: 22:33

I was just trying the Seinfeld thing. I knew it wasn't going through that input.

SPEAKER_04: 22:37

I don't know. Damn it. What was it? The little bramp b bramper bramp bram.

SPEAKER_03: 22:40

Yeah, yeah, the beginning.

SPEAKER_04: 22:42

Well just say it, I'll do it.

SPEAKER_03: 22:45

Oh, that's it right there. Oh man. Yes. That was it, thank you. What was that dude's name from Police Academy? Did all the noises. Uh Michael uh Winslow. Huh? Michael Winslow. Winslow, that's right. Oh man, was he great. He was really awesome with that stuff.

SPEAKER_04: 23:09

You're gonna hear a Bill Clinton joke?

SPEAKER_03: 23:11

Yeah, I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 23:14

Not only does he play the saxophone, he can also play the harmonica. Yeah, that's an old one. So I don't care if it's old and stupid. Harmonica. Har the hormonica. Yeah, I think she's a lovely lady. I got no problem with her, so don't get me wrong. I never did. Somebody else made up. Just repeating shit. That's all I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03: 23:43

Play us out, my friend. Play us out. What do you got? Come on. We gotta play us out. Copyright 2021, nerdsandnonsense dot com. All rights reserved. Well, except that I don't really mind if you share this, so maybe feel free to do that. You know, share and share alike, that sort of thing. Speaking of copyrights, though, special thanks to Joe Daniels, copyright owner, co-writer, and original drummer from LocalH for permission to use Bound for the Floor by LocalH as our show's theme song. Click the Support the Show link to make a small donation via PayPal to support our independent, ad free show. Be great and do great things, my friends.