Episode 1: Welcome to The Scandi Shift

This first episode has some sound issues (we learned fast ). Audio is significantly improved from Episode 2 onward — thank you for listening!

Our Expat Story & Why This Podcast Exists

In our very first episode of The Scandi Shift, we (Meg & Selena!) introduce ourselves, share what brought us to Denmark, and explain why this podcast exists. From moving to Copenhagen for love, family, lifestyle shifts, and career changes — to the surprising challenges of identity, loneliness, and rebuilding community abroad — this episode is a heartfelt welcome into what this space is all about.

Whether you’re dreaming about moving to Denmark, already living here, or curious about expat life, this episode gives you an honest, funny, and very real look behind the scenes.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How two foreign mums ended up building new lives in Copenhagen
• Meeting each other through a total “meet-cute” coffee shop moment
• The emotional leap of moving countries for family & lifestyle
• Why Denmark isn’t just a vacation — it becomes real, fast
• The identity shifts that come with motherhood abroad
• The challenge of making friends as an expat adult
• And why we created The Scandi Shift podcast in the first place ✨

Why this episode matters

Being an expat isn’t Instagram-perfect. We talk openly about:

• culture shocks
• career disruption
• loneliness
• mental load
• family dynamics
• and the pressure to “have it all”

We’re building the podcast we wished existed when we arrived — a helpful, human, funny guide for expat life in Denmark.

 🎧 New episodes every other week — follow to stay updated!
 📩 Email: TheScandiShift@gmail.com

 📍 Instagram: @TheScandiShift
⭐️ Please rate + review — it helps other expats find the show! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the Skitty Death, the podcast where two expat moms talk honestly about surviving, thriving, and building a happy life in Copenhagen. I'm Selena and I'm Meg.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

We've talked about doing this for months now, right? So we're recording our first episode, even with me having a hoarse voice and sounding a bit like a frog.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

We do sound a little bit like a frog.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

But I think it was like we both wanted to do this so badly that we're like, just do it. Let's get it out there.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

That's right. Yeah, we've talked about it since I don't know, the summer. Yeah. Sometime around the summer. And we had a whole other idea of something to do. And then yeah, one day you just rang me up and said, you know what? I think we should just do a podcast. Exactly. And my reaction was, you're like, hell no. But here we are doing a podcast. And of course, I'm really happy that we decided to take the plunge, so to speak. And we've had a lot of fun so far, even just getting to this stage. So I'm really excited to see what happens going forward. Me too.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

So let's get started. Why don't we just talk a little bit about who we are and what brought us here?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Should I go first? Yeah, definitely. Well, I'm Selena. I'm British, just in case that's not obvious with my voice. Born and raised in England. Moved here about eight and a half years ago. Um, married to a Dane. So there's my part of my reason for moving here. Yeah. Now three kids, six years and under. Yeah, and just you know, taking me a while, but now I'm kind of really loving life here. Copenhagen is home for me now.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah. It's funny. So I've been here a lot less time than you. Actually, by the time you guys all hear this, it'll be right at my one-year anniversary of us having moved here. Clearly, I'm American. It's a strong American accent, originally actually from the East Coast for Americans who want to know, uh, from Nation's Capital, Washington, D.C., and then uh moved here yeah last January with my Danish husband from San Francisco. We have one little boy, he's four years old, going on, I'd say 40, but in reality, he'll be five in the coming spring. And yeah, I mean, even though we've been here a very short period of time, I agree with you. It it feels a lot like home. There's definitely bumps and adventures and still a lot of what do I do? What's going on? But we moved here a lot because we wanted something different. You know, I was actually the push to move here. Everyone thinks it was him dragging me here, kicking and screaming. And if anything, it was the other way around where I was like, nope, let's do this. I mean, we've talked about it. I'd lived in Europe before. I really wanted to move here. I really wanted a life that involved us being able to spend more time together as a family and focusing on our little one while he's little and time together and us being a couple again. And that's what I thought like Denmark would bring us.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, exactly. I I have it's some of similar reasons to you why we ended up here, actually, is the same thing about people could assume, okay. So you obviously moved here because you know you're with a Danish guy, and it's actually not as clear-cut as that. We both lived and worked in London, and he got a job offer here, and I remember him distinctly saying to me, Wait, I'm not sure I'm done with the London adventure. And then I was like, You work a hundred hours a week. What adventure are you talking about? You go from our home to the office, you come back, you know. I mean, it's not that much of an adventure. Maybe he goes through St. James's Park and, you know, likes looking at the swans and you know, all that stuff in there. But it's it's not a good one.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Not that you know, he had a whole life feeding the birds on his way home.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

It was his adventure. Uh yeah, so I had to tear him away from that. But I really wanted to come here because we talked about having a family, and uh, of course, it's well known that Denmark's a pretty good place if you want to start a family. And it's turned out to be the one of the best decisions that we ever made.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

And were you guys married already? Or you got married here?

SPEAKER_00 4:11

No, that happened here. Yeah. 2019. So we've been married for a few years now. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

I think that whole I'm not done with this adventure thing is a theme that was in our household as well. Like my husband was very much like, you know, he he had this kept this statement saying, like, I don't know if I'm done with the Bay Area, I'm not done with the Bay Area. And I was like, Well, I'm done with the Bay Area. So me, I'm moving to Denmark, and you can come if you choose to join us. It's my time now.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

But right, how do we make meet each other? Right? That's kind of cool, right? Yeah. I think that's a fun story actually, because for a number of reasons, but one of them is that whenever we or I have been around friends, other social circles, you know, through different groups. One of the things, especially from foreigners that I hear consistently is how tough it is to fully integrate and make friends here. Yeah, 100%. And I guess if the analogy that we could use for how we met is really like old school dating. It is it was a total meat cure. Like a movie, meat cure. You know, I'm getting coffee. I'm just finishing my coffee. You take up a whole sofa area, and I'm I'm in there like a crazy person with my kids, and then I see Meg sitting on the sofa and I'm like, you know what? There's a lot of space there for one person. I'll just go see. And I I definitely expected you to just answer in Danish, or you know, I I wasn't expecting the American accent, and I knew immediately when you opened your mouth that you were foreign. Um yeah, and then we just got talking and yeah, actually, as you said a couple of days ago, we were just laughing about this, how we actually followed through a hundred percent. They said, Okay, well, do you know exchange numbers and sometimes you loot we've all done it, you loosely share that number and you think there's no expectation behind that really. But I remember thinking to myself, you were so new here that if you did reach out and you wanted to have coffee, I would definitely do it because I remember what it was like when I first moved here, and it can be definitely challenging to meet friends here. So I was definitely up for that, and I'm so glad that we did that.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

I know, me too. I remember I actually I plugged your number into my phone, and I think we all know when we don't quite know the person, but we definitely don't know their last name, but we want to remember who they are on our phone. We have like a descriptor. So Mike literally says, Selena, UK mom coffee shop. And it still has that. I haven't changed it now. I don't change it because I really like it. It reminds me of that, but yeah, and then I remember when I was like, I need to text her. I'm gonna give it a week, like dating, like getting like cool, give it a week and say, Hey, do you happen to remember me? Do you want to grab a coffee? And it's yeah, it's been great ever since. And I was so thrilled that you also were interested in like getting together, and you having been here for so long, like you have a great network of friends. You're really pretty established in many, many ways. So it's nice to feel like you still had open space in your social calendar for me. Of course, of course.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Oh my goodness. So I think we should also, I mean, it's probably a good time to talk about why we want to do this podcast. We should introduce that and where this came from. Because we have a fun story about how we met, and you know, we could talk a lot about our background and how we ended up here. But I think it's important to tell the listeners now why we're doing this and where this came from. So, do you want to start?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah, I think it was one of the things as we were, you know, talking and chatting, we talked about how difficult it is to move in general to a foreign country and how difficult it is to move when you're older than 20 somethings and you've got a family. And how do you meet the right people? And then how do you get that community going and kind of remind yourself who you are, your friendships, the things that make you who you are outside of being a mom and a wife, and how do we create a community around that? And honestly, for me, when I first moved here, it was really like piecing everything together from random conversations and like Googling everything I could imagine and Google rabbit holes, right? I wish there had really been something that was honest and warm, not perfect, not polished, but guidance from people who had done it, who had been there, who told me about the pitfalls, who could explain random phrases in Danish I couldn't understand but would need to know. And I had been following quite a few amazing Instagram influencers who to this day I love, I still follow. But what I found is it was really great to watch them to get inspired and be excited about moving here and what I was gonna see. But I didn't get that sense of, okay, now here's a guide, and what am I actually gonna have to deal with on a daily basis? Um am I the only one who doesn't know what the heck this means? And what do I do? And so it was sort of like, how could we help close that loop for others? Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

I I mean, I obviously mirror some of those feelings, sentiments, yeah, for sure. I think as well, one of the things that I have I have changed so much since like I've gone have I changed I think I have changed, but I think my life has changed so much, and it's going through all these different chapters is probably the best way to say it. I moved here, I came from London, fast-paced, you know, going out every night, very much like the young kind of single life, although I had a boyfriend. Yeah. Fast forward to Copenhagen, I'm only here for one year and then pregnant with my first kid. And then boy, does life change after you have a kid. Yeah. You didn't even have a dog to practice on first. No. And I and I I I found like there's loads of things like you're such a dog person. Come back to that. Um, but you're right, I had no practice, just like most other people, you know, we don't really know what it means to be a parent until you go into it. And I had a little bit of a shock, if I'm being honest. And then my life in Copenhagen just turned on its head. Yeah. And I had to then find myself in this new role as a mom, trying to juggle careers. You know, it's all the cliche stuff that you hear all the time from mums. That we all trying to have it all, and that that struggle and the juggle is real. And and I actually think that we when we set out to do this, we talked about that a lot. And I think we have that in common. That's one of the things we have really different backgrounds, but we have that part in common. Yeah. Everybody tends to struggle when you have kids, you have a career, plus, we're in another country, in a foreign country. We don't have the support. And there's a lot of goodness to talk about that and to make people, to your point, don't feel alone. Everybody has Googled, you know, all the same things about living making friends in Copenhagen. What networks can I go to? What events are on? Yeah. What are what's a Lily Plus? Do I add the cover letter? Do I not add the cover letter? Do I put my picture on the resume?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Do I not put my picture on this resume?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah, and that all comes down like we all have this identity and it just molds with the time. And I think some of us thrive and do really well in managing that. And then others, including myself at times, have really struggled with it. And I have a lot of really good friends, including Danish friends. You know, all of my friends have been amazing to help me through it. And I think we've learned a lot and we have a lot to share now to help other people uh manage some of that identity. And where do I fit in in Copenhagen? How does this lifestyle work for me? And how can I make it really great here?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Yeah, yeah. I completely agree. It's hard to be here. And I think some of us are really good at hiding when we're not driving. I think that's my thing is I am always going. You know me, I'm constantly oversubscribed in life in general, but it is also a mechanism to forget that maybe I'm dealing with a lot of stuff that's hard, right? And then I'm trying to figure it out. But having so much on my to-do plate, it doesn't give you a lot of opportunity to overthink it. No, completely. Right? Yeah. But I so we know why we want to do this, but what can everyone expect from us beyond our witty banter? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

And you know, the proof in that remains to be seen, I guess. Exactly. Definitely you can expect a lot of real conversations. I think we're very true to ourselves. What you hear is very much how we are with each other, with families, you know. There's no surprises in that sense. You know, we're not putting on a face for the podcast. We wanted to keep it very real. We will talk about some of what you would call like hygiene things, where, you know, it's like, how do I pick the best schools? How do you know where the right GPs are? What about this healthcare? Yeah. Do we have a healthcare problem? Do we not have a healthcare problem? I mean, this is also the big question. We need healthier insurance when we're in a social health clock. I think that's something we could all be really proud of that we all like to complain about it. And I don't think that was as just specific Denmark either. And don't get me started on the UK NHS. The different holidays, the festive periods, the celebrations, we all come from different backgrounds. How are we incorporating that? So there's a lot of like practical stuff in this, and there's a lot of light hearted. So we like to mix it. We will get deep and serious, downright honest. And some of the things you know we talk about, they are darker topics. Yeah, can you? One of them is about the loneliness, and then we come at that from an angle of how do you make friends here? What is the best way to go about it? What is it like to suffer from postnatal depression? Yeah, etc. So we will get really down into that level too. And we also want to hear from you guys. So a lot of listener questions, we love hearing different stories. So we will be asking you to, you know, send those in. Right in. Write in. Tell us what you're thinking, feeling, what you love, what do you want to hear more of, anything.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

And then, you know, we kind of joke, we just joked about it before, the Googling, you know, it's like, and let's talk about some of that practical stuff.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

But we all Google at 2 a.m. Oh my God, yes. The amount of times that I'm like, I should be asleep, and yet my head is so wired with 8 million different things I need to solve before the next day starts. Yeah. Like, even just what does this mean? Please translate. Okay. But I love that we are doing this. Before we close it out, let's talk a little bit about like that first moment we realize that we're no longer on vacation here. Like kind of, oh shit, I actually live here moment. Because I think when you do move here, that first, it's it's still a little bit like you're on vacation, even though you've gone through all of the craziness, the containers, the movement, the CPR, the banks. You started getting into that. Visas, if you need visas, I needed one. But you get here and it's still fun. You're like, okay, I'm here and I'm excited. And it does feel kind of like you've gone on one of those long vacations until it doesn't. And my first time actually hit me relatively early. I think it was week two. We were living here. Our house wasn't ready yet. We were at an Airbnb over in Banloza. Love that area, by the way. I didn't know much about it before we moved here. We just happened to pick this place and it was really cute and worked out. Love it. And I didn't know anything about the grocery stores here, not really. And I went to Netto. And we will one day talk a little bit more about grocery shopping and grocery stores here. But Netto is a discount grocery store here. And so being discount, it doesn't have a fixed aisle system. Yes, you kind of know where the green grocer area is. But then after that, it's just wild, wild west. So there I am, not speaking a lick of Danish, trying to get very, very specific ingredients for a dish I'm planning to make for my family. It is going on 5 30. The clock is ticking. I thought I had the time to just run in, get what I want, and run out. And was this, can I ask a question? Was this a US recipe? Oh, a hundred percent. I still use US recipes. Are you kidding me? Everything I have to like convert into metric system, I still don't get it. But there I was US recipe in netto, very specific ingredients. And I, there's no aisles, there's no sense. So that doesn't make sense. Like the placement of things don't make sense because it's whatever's up there is what you're gonna get. And it took me forever, forever and ever and ever to find what I want. And finally I did. I was so frustrated. I didn't understand it. There's so many choices of laundry soap, for instance, I was trying to grab, and it was white, sweatys, black. I could barely find anything. Like there's so much. And I was like, I can't read it. And I couldn't read it. And there's no uh internet service for my Google Translate to work. So I was full on winging it circa 1996, no internet, and I had no language skills to help me. And I finally get through it and think, I'm okay, gosh, that's finally done. That was really hard. That's finally done. And I get to the checkout, the woman isn't there, the checkout counter isn't there. So there's the self-checkout. And it's like, okay, that's fine. I don't think I can handle a Danish interaction anyway. I go to checkout and it's all in Danish. And the button to switch to English is not there. And there are things I had to look up. I didn't know how to look them up. I didn't know what the word was. And I am getting increasingly, increasingly upset. I start freaking out. There's now a line for any behind me. All the Danes are staring at me, being like, Have you never seen a self-checkout before? I'm getting more and more flustered. And on the upper lip. Yes, sweat pouring down. And I get checked out. It's it's flashing lights at me. And the guy finally comes over and he's like, Oh, oh, it's a computer error. It's not you. And I was like, Okay, it's not me, it's not me. But we all know it kind of was me. And I finish it off. I get out of the store, two bags in hand, and I burst into tears. Because I was so mortified and so flustered and so frustrated that I burst into tears. So there I am walking down in the dark, because it's winter time, tears flowing down my face. And this dane comes up to me and he's so sweet. And he's just like, Are you okay? And then I burst into even more tears. This poor guy has to listen to me tell him how I just moved here. I was super overwhelming, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, Oh, I hate netto too. But it just made me feel like, okay, you know what? Even though I don't know who this person is, it's an adopted friend for a quick second who reached out to say, You're gonna be okay. You're gonna get this, and welcome to Denmark. And then I got home, and of course, my husband was like, Where were you? What happened? And I had to explain the whole thing. But yeah, that was definitely my first, yeah, this is no longer a vacation moment.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Yeah, I I have definitely had some of those supermarket um encounters, let's say, trying to figure out where cocoa powder was and lemon juice, and you know, and I'm sure there's some of you laughing that have also gone through this way, you know. Of course, the lemon juice is right next to the lemons in the vegetable section. But I have never known another supermarket on earth, even though it's very logical. Actually, once you know, you're like, hmm, that makes sense, yes. But you would never look there unless you look in all like where the condiments are, yeah. But I think I've been here for so long now that I've not there isn't like a single thing that I moment, I guess, that stands out. And I think it's just I can't really remember that. But recently I had a a reminder, let's say, of like, oh yeah, that's right. I live in another country, and yeah, you know, I can't just go over and see a family member when I want, you know, and now I have three kids, so you know, I also have those considerations that I can't just pack up and go. And I don't have the same flexibility that I once did. And recently my mom had a heart attack, and not to take the mood down at the same time. Yeah, yeah, she's she's doing fine now. Thanks. But she she had a heart attack, and you know, I get I got very vague messages from home. Yeah. And about what was happening. And so, you know, of course, me being me, and I'm the kind of person that, you know, if somebody is in need, I it's it doesn't matter if it's a train, a car, or a plane, I'm there. Yeah. Which is my mom knows exactly what I'm like because she had literally during her heart attacks given my dad instructions to not tell me until she was on her way in the ambulance because honestly, I met your mom, but it's a hundred percent what she would do. Don't tell Selena, wait till we figure out what's going on. Yeah, my mom's worried about I got she's got three kids. Like, she's she can't just come here. I mean, I'm just gonna be in hospital. You know, that's the kind of person she is. Um, and yeah, so I I and I also had this moment where I was like, oh, I'm completely I feel stuck. Yeah. And I almost wish that someone was just like, get on a fly and go. I almost needed somebody to give me insight. instructions because my heart was really torn between my mom and then my kids and trying to figure out is it too soon to go or should I go yeah but the point being it's a huge reminder that I live in a completely different country to the rest of my family and this it that is not the first time something has happened. It very likely won't be the last. No. And the only thing I was gonna say the only thing you can do is pray. You know that they they don't happen that frequently and uh yeah and you never really know that's the thing with life.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

You don't really know what's coming at you and and it is hard right because there is the aspect of you've got something back at your original country that is hard and you want to deal with it and you're here and then you also still have what's going on here to deal with. Yes. And you're like okay what do I do when you're torn and it when you are living outside of your normal cultural environment you don't I don't know at least for me I don't feel like you have that ease in being able to show that something's falling apart because games don't share that way. They are not no a very open expressive people in general not in public not in anything like that. So there you are and if you're back in England you might be able to show that a little bit more but here it's not expected that you're going to be showing emotions like that on the street.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Yeah I I it there is a yeah in that sense there's a huge difference between particularly England and I'm from the north of England so it gets even more extreme there. Very open naturally very warm uh you know you can't walk past somebody in the street without them saying hi or good morning. It's that kind of very different community feel. And I and I know in the US as well they are also very hospitable and you go there and people can't do enough for you and I've always had that sense. So it is a little bit of a shock actually when you come here. But we are going to talk about that actually more about that I think in a in one of our future episodes. Yeah that comes back to the whole identity crisis that you have and you know you came here as such a person and now the values in society are so different and the way people are is so different and absolutely everything is so different. And you start so do you do yeah do you assimilate? Do you do you do you just try to become try to fit exactly do it your way and and I I think I'm the latter. I think I've adapted but I'm also a little bit stubborn you know well I'm English and we do things differently and I kind of hang on to that as much as I can. But yeah we will definitely talk about that. But now I guess next time yeah exactly like you've heard enough of us today for one day. And what is the next episode? What are we talking about next?

SPEAKER_01 24:48

So next time we'll talk about what really happens when the sun goes down we're in the long Danish winter. The eight month winter yeah we're recording it at the height of the lovely part of the Danish winter we're getting ready for Christmas we're getting ready for you all. And when you guys hear it we will be crossing over into the dark side. Exactly the dark side and you know how do locals make it bearable and hootlit and old and also enjoyable like they're not just writing and bearing they're actually enjoying this sort of special time in the year as much as we always like to complain about the dark but it can be quite cozy and quite special. So how do we survive it and how do we help you survive it? Yeah exactly but you know we'd love to actually hear from you why you moved here or what was that first oh shit this isn't vacation moment or oh no I'm torn between two worlds. What are your experiences good, bad and amazing that has really made you realize that this is you assimilating you being part of the gainish community write to us at thescandyshift at gmail.com all one word. We'd love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yeah I think this is also important to say this is why we we wanted to do this. We wanted to share our stories but we also want to share your stories and help others feel seen and heard and reminded actually that we aren't alone in figuring this out. And yeah, I mean thanks so much for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah absolutely thanks for joining us at the skinny shift if you enjoyed this episode and definitely want to hear more don't forget to rate review and subscribe it really helps others find the show.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

And we can't wait to share more of our adventures in Scandinavian life and help you find your own rhythm here in Denmark.