Episode 5: They Let Them Do What?! Rethinking Risk, Trust & Parenting in Denmark

In this episode of The Scandi Shift, Meg and Selena tackle a question they’re asked constantly by friends and family back home: Is Denmark really as safe and idyllic for kids as it looks?

The short answer is yes — but the longer answer is more nuanced. From kids using real tools at school, to outdoor napping, to playgrounds that feel more like obstacle courses, parenting in Denmark often challenges the way expat parents think about safety, risk, and control.

We talk about:

• What “safe” actually means in a high-trust society
• Moments that trigger a quiet (or not so quiet) “what the f***?” reaction
• Kids using saws, knives, and tools — with very little supervision
• Babies sleeping outside in strollers (and where that doesn’t apply)
• Danish playgrounds that test everyone’s nerves
• How independence is built early — and why parents step back
• Letting go of fear without letting go of care

This episode isn’t about pretending everything feels easy. It’s about adjusting your internal alarm system, understanding cultural context, and learning how trust — in kids, in systems, and in society — shapes everyday life in Denmark.

Parenting in Denmark, expat life Denmark, Danish childhood, safety and trust, raising kids abroad, cultural differences parenting, living abroad with children.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Welcome to the Scandy Shift, the podcast where two expat moms talk honestly about building a happy life in Denmark.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

I'm Selena. And I'm Meg. And today we're talking about something we get asked all the time, especially by friends and family back home. Is Denmark really as safe and idyllic for kids as it looks? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yeah, that's uh that's a big one. I'm not sure we'll get through the full answer to that big open question today, but it it's actually it is a bit of an interesting question in terms of safe, an idyllic, yes, of course, resounding yes. Yes. But then I feel like you can live here for a while and there's a gray area to that. And I think that's maybe what we're going to be talking about a little bit today.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, definitely a gray area. It's more like we're learning what safety means here for kids. And when some things feel unfamiliar or a bit uncomfortable at first, we're actually choosing to lean into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Yeah, and this is not about pretending, you know, everything just feels easy. It's about why things just feel a bit off at the beginning. Um, and we've both just decided to embrace the way our kids are raised here. Yeah. Yes. So having my kids here, I think I got folded into the system pretty quickly. A lot of it just kind of worked, to be honest. Um, that doesn't mean there wasn't anything that surprised me. Um there were definitely moments where I thought, okay, that's different. What the fuck is happening?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Let's just be real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

It's what the fuck is happening. Okay, it really is like WTF.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

You're so lovely. You know, gently, maybe I should consider this in their head. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Yeah, in my head, it was definitely what the fuck. But you also don't want to show that. You want to be like, you want to be cool, you know. It's like, oh yeah, no, I can do this. Yeah, you do that strange, weird thing. I'm fine with it. Of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

I'm a cool mom. I'm a Danish mom.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Actually, I have a good example of one of these, one of these moments for me, and it was fairly recently at the school. Yeah. I turn up, you know, for pickup, and I'm like, oh, where's where's my son looking around? And then I spot this group of boys and girls, five, maybe six years old, all using full-size saws. What? And just going at it with this um like a palette thing, a delivery palette, wooden things. Okay, the pedagogue seems pretty cool about this, so I'm gonna be pretty cool about this. And I go over and I'm like, oh hi, had a good day. And really, I mean, there's hardly any supervision. I mean, this guy's got like 15 kids all over these palettes, and there's no safety equipment, no, and you know, I'm like, he's totally cool about it, and they were you know pretty focused on what they were doing, and then as I'm sort of adjusting, thinking, Oh, this is great, you know, he likes to do this stuff. It's better here. Country work at an early age. Exactly. This could come in handy, and then the pedagogue looks at my four-year-old daughter, who's at this point like you know, uh a wanton dog. She's like, I want to be involved. And he just goes, here, and hands her the biggest sore. And so then I've got two of my kids like mingled in. You're counting 20 fingers, and you're hoping 20 fingers come back. That is a what the fuck moment.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Okay, I will say I actually similar to this, it was not my child, but I remember when I first saw this, we were out in Van Luza for a summer fair and it was the Loker spider group. So we're doing demonstrations.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

I had a wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

What's a spider group? Okay, so spider is really cool. I'm actually kind of impressed that I might know something here that you don't know. Like, how is that possible?

SPEAKER_01 4:17

I knew you're like, yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

I know, yes, let me teach you something.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

I'm a mama of almost nine years.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

No, so spider group, it's cool. So in the states, we have Boy Scouts and we have Girl Scouts. And I was a Girl Scout, I was a brownie, woo-hoo. Um, and then then like the Boy Scouts, they move on. And you know, I actually side note, I grew up and I dated two Eagle Scouts, which is like the highest level of scout in the States, right? Like these Rockstar. Yeah, exactly. That's a rock star boy scout is an Eagle Scout. Um, but you know, my husband was very outdoorsy here and into nature, and he was in Spider as well. So Spider Here actually isn't um divided by sex, so they have both girls and boys. No, of course not. And they're all about being out in nature, whittling, like using giant knives. I mean, these kids were like around the same age as what you're talking about, like four or five, and they've got these giant, very sharp knives, like maybe those things that like fold down and you put in your pen knife. Yeah, isn't it a pen knife? Are those really tiny?

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Yeah, they they have like multiple knives and oh no, that's that's a Swiss Army knife.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I have one of those. Yeah, mine has a nail file, this I don't know about how intense it is.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

We're real experts on this topic.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

But anyway, Spice. Do you have a knife question? Write in. But I actually think it's pretty cool. We're trying to get my son into it. There's a long wait list, like just like everything that seems cool here. There's some like, oh, do you want to be in it? You should have, you know, put him on the list. At birth. He'll get in when he's like 17. But it they had the same thing. They had like a whole bonfire and knives, and and then of course, my son immediately went to go and grab one. And I'm like, oh like I uh I guess the troop leader is like, Oh, do you do you wanna do you wanna start making it? It was a spear, they were sharpening spears, like they were gonna go for a hunt.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Oh my god. Do you know what I will say though? I I think over time I've come to this realization that this is clash of culture. This is a classic, you know, let's be honest, you and I coming from the UK and the US, we come from more of an environment of like fear. Everything bad is gonna happen. And when you come here, you just realize Danes don't come from that background and they just don't see the same things as us as maybe higher risk or dangerous, and yeah, they just don't prioritize it in that way. But that's because they've been raised in that environment, it's just completely normal. Whereas as far some foreigners coming in, it's it is a bit of a shock, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

That's exactly it. I think that honestly, one of the good examples of this, like a cultural clash or something that might feel uncomfortable for us, is the outdoor sleeping, right? Yeah, this is a big one. Yeah, right. So one of the things people always ask about is like right after, like, is it as idyllic and like amazing to have kids there as possible? Is like, now seriously, are babies sleeping outside? And then the look, like slight look of horror and piqued interest comes into the voice, right? And you know, it's true, babies and toddlers are napping outside and they're strollers, and it's not just something, it's just not something we do in the states. I mean, I still remember the story of you know, that Danish woman in New York back in the late 90s or something like that. She was at this restaurant in New York and she left her baby out napping, as you would do here with no problem, and she got arrested, and it was a huge deal. There was, you know, coverage in the states, there was coverage, I'm sure, in Denmark, and the really talked about a cultural clash. She was called a negligent parent. She spent several hours in prison, she didn't get her baby back for days. It was insane.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Yeah, that is. It sounds crazy, but it is New York and it is it is a different place. It is a very different place. But actually, on that, I have had I didn't get arrested, but in England, we went back for a wedding and we stayed in this local lodge. Yeah. And we only had our elders then. So first kid. And you know, we just wanted to go and have breakfast, not be disturbed by him because he needed his nap. Yeah. And it clashed every single day. So he was crying and completely unsettled, and we just couldn't make the timings work. So this one particular day we said, Okay, enough's enough. It's pouring down, he'll be great in the stroller. We'll put the raincover on, we park him up, we put the baby alarm on, and we go in through reception to go to the breakfast area. And it immediately, because the lady on reception has seen us with a baby every day at this point, she says, Oh, where's your son? And we're like, Oh, yeah, he's just outside sleeping there. And there was just sheer panic on this woman's face and complete judgment when she's entered. The horror, the horror. Yes, she was like, What? And I just want to say that we parked him outside low windows so we could literally go into the breakfast room, sit and have lunch, uh, sorry, lunch, breakfast next to him. Yeah, it wasn't far. And we had a baby alarm on right so we could hear him. But she was, she said, Oh, uh, okay, um, okay, I'll I'll go out, I'll just check on him, I'll keep an eye on him for you, you know. Like we like, because you guys are terrible parents and not so I I do I can see that it can be very shocking for some people.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Well, I wonder for the English, you know the story of Peter Pan. He's a baby who throws himself out of the pram while napping outside and then escapes to be a never never land boy.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

So maybe that's the deep-seated exactly. A scar to a lie. Actually, those stories and English nursery rhymes have a lot to answer for. But uh I I I have had all my three kids here. So I fully believe in them sleeping outside. I've done it with all of them. Um, they sleep better, but it doesn't mean at the beginning, you know, first-time parents, super neurotic. Oh my god, is he is he alive? Is he alive? Is he too hot? Is he too cold? Like what is happening? And you know, I'm talking about right down to minus 10. Yeah. We've done all of that. But all three have slept really well, and one of them's still doing it now. But the best thing, and I will just say this, that we ever invested in for that outside sleeping was a balcony stroller. Wait, what's a balcony stroller? Um it's basically like an old, old, it's probably like, you know, 10 years plus older, maybe even older. The fifth hand kind of stroller. Yeah. Ours we bought and it doesn't even have a break. Like it was literally only good for a closed-off balcony space. But we lived on the third floor and he loved being outside. So instead of, you know, carting him up and down the stairs because he really he only napped in a stroller, then I would um get him to sleep on the balcony, rock him on the stroller out there, and then put the baby alarm on. And that was the best investment that we ever made for outdoor sleeping. Sounds so lovely. So there's even like there's real tools for this. It's like a whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Well, every stroller here is also built for the baby sleeping in it. It's not American-style strollers where they're just sitting up or a little reclined, they're rolling beds, like at all time with a duvet, everything. So they're nice and cozy and comfy, and you know, there's all the other stuff. But we pretty much miss the window for our son because when we came here, he had already dropped the nap, right? But when we did come and visit a few years ago, we came and my in-laws uh watched him for a little while. And I got all these pictures of him snuggled up and like this little onesie suit he had, and he was happy. And I was like, oh wow, he he really does like sleeping outdoors. Like, this is exciting, you know. Maybe we could we could do this. So, fast forward a couple days later, we we were up in Noble. My husband had been consulting for a company that had an office there. So we were there and we were about to go to dinner with the founders and stuff. And um, you know, my son was snapping, he was sleeping. We rolled there and he was sleeping. I was like, well, this seems horrible to wake him up and bring him in. I was like, you know what? I'm just I'm gonna just do it Danish style. And I just left him out in front in front of the building. And again, to your point, this sounds, I'm telling saying the story, it probably sounds like people were envisioning, or you were even envisioning this massive office building that we've just been like, see ya, bing, bing, take the elevator. No, it was a very small building and we weren't really far. We kind of stepped inside and you're in the office area. And you know, we were there maybe 15, 20 minutes when all of a sudden someone like pops their head in and in Danish is like, does anyone know whose baby this is? You know, and I was like, wait, and then someone's like, Oh yeah, yeah, hold on, you know, and they you know, like, Meg, Meg, someone's asking about the baby. I'm like, oh no, is he awake? Is he awake? And so we run out. He's not, he's sleep, he's sleeping, he's fine. And I get out there, and there's several Danes sort of milling about, looking at me in this way of, what the hell have you been doing? And I was like, wait, like I felt like very confused because I was I'm confused. This sounds very Undaneish. Yeah, right. But okay, now at this point, my son's waking up. I'm like, okay, well, I'll bring him inside. One of the one of the office workers pops out and she's like, Oh, hey, nice to meet you. And she's like, by the way, yeah, we don't really leave the babies out on the busy streets, it's more like like a garden or a cafe. So it's like I tried to do this, but I really got it wrong. I missed the assignment. It's not like, oh, hey, go ahead and throw your baby anywhere. It's like it needs to be calming and then okay. And so yeah, I I completely failed at it. I was, it was not good. I had not gotten it right. And then she's like, okay, well, have a good, good weekend. Hi, hi.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

But even though, I mean, I still that still sounds a little weird to me. I've never experienced that. And I've I've definitely seen, I mean, you go up on Gamel Kongvai, there's babies all over that. That's a hugely busy street. Maybe, you know, old boulevard might be a little bit of a stretch. But first of all, I don't think your child would actually sleep very well there. No one would. But you know, out there, still seeming, I still don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Oh, now I'm curious. Like, anyone listening has any weird stories like this to share because I've I've never come across this before. I think that this collective trust in society plays a huge role in this.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And hearing you say that is what helped a clip for me. It's not just about parroting choices, it's just the way things are done here. There is an undercurrent of trust you feel everywhere. People leave bags in their cargo bikes, phones don't really go missing. There's very little to no pickpocketing. And if someone needs help, people really step in.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

But just don't leave your bike. No, bikes are fair game here. That's as we talked about in a previous bikes, bikes, lock that down.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, yeah. Chain it, put an old club, those clubs for cars. Yeah. But honestly, coming from the US, the backdrop is so different there, right? For us, I grew up in the 80s and 90s, focused on stranger danger, amber alerts, constant messaging about what could go wrong. Well, it's an amber alert. Oh my god. Okay, so an amber alert, I actually found out the history of this. I thought it had to do with the color amber, like yellow alert, yellow alert. No, it actually happened. Amber's the Amber Alert is named after a missing child named Amber. Oh, yeah. So it's it actually, I know. Well, I think so. Basically, what happens is if a child goes missing, they they will address an Amber alert and what they send out is the messaging of last place the child was seen, what they're wearing, a notice that the child is missing, and any vehicle or descriptions or anything, and it gets sent out to all the police departments. And now it also gets sent to your phone.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah, that's that's that's I think that's really helpful. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

So basically, I grew up in this era and this air in this area as well that is just focused on, I mean, kind of fear, I guess the best way is to say it. You know, it's it's constant mesioning about like what could go wrong. Yeah, you're trained to scan for risk, and that creates a totally different baseline and how you think about kids in public spaces and what you do with them in general.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Yeah. That is the helicopter parenting. That's where it comes from.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

It does. It does. We're constantly fearful. Yeah. Um, but I want to be really honest. There are still things that give me pause here. Like, as much as I feel very safe with my son here, there are some things that give me pause. The biggest one is the playgrounds.

unknown 17:18

I know.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

I know we were like, oh, could it be the traffic? Could be the non-existent pollution here. What could give me pause? No, it's actually the playgrounds. To me, honestly, the climbing equipment is so intense. The netting, they're walking among trees with very, very basic level of what I consider safety. And you're like, are you gonna make it? And then a couple of times when my sons needed help, I couldn't get up there. It was so steep. I'm like, how are you up there? It's like call the fire department, cat in tree, kid on playground. What am I gonna do here? But honestly, they are intense. I mean, there's one I haven't even been to that has a roller coaster. The kids pull up the roller coaster, they get into the car and it goes down a track. No supervision, no helmets, no safety. It's just like, yeah, this is fun. I have never even heard about this. I know we have to go.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

I'm actually saying I'm getting a little bit. Is it weird that I'm getting a little bit excited? Kids would love that.

unknown 18:20

I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

It would be so much fun. I'm like, well, we'll bring a helmet.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Oh, we've so adjusted already here. Yeah, I I understand the playground uh thing at first. I had similar reactions and it it can look a bit intense, but I think the expectation really is that adults just they don't jump in, you know, straight away. They let let kids have their freedom, and again, there's this baseline of trust. And if they need to, they jump in.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Yeah, yeah. Um, one of the biggest shifts for me though has been watching Danish kids and parents, right? So again, coming from that sense of a little bit of fear, everything is a little bit scary. You you're kind of raised in the states at least, that kids are delicate. It like, oh no, they've fallen. Like there's a lot of parents, a kid falls, and immediately you're like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. But in reality, you know, what we ended up doing and what parents do here, and we started it in in California, is we say, up again. Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, oh, so and so has fallen, up again. No, oh my gosh, are you okay? There's not even an ask if you're okay. It's more of like, up again, you're fine. And doing that in the States, I will say, if staring could have a volume, the looks that I would get would scream, what is wrong with you? What are you abusive parent? Like you're not even worried about your kid. Hashtag bad moms. Exactly.

unknown 19:50

Bad moms.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

But here it barely registers. You would just say up again.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

I love this though, because this resonates hugely with me because I don't want to be a helicopter parent at all. And I really have embraced the freedom. And I I like how it builds kids as they're quite independent and confident from an early age. I will just say, with my two-year-old, he also gets a little bit more freedom than I think the average two-year-old, for example, in the UK. But you just know you hear him going, mommy! And you you when you actually see where he is, he's probably climbed up one of these ridiculous uh frames. She's not aimed at a two-year-old uh hashtag bad moms, which got out of my sight within like 20 seconds. Um, and he's just got up there, no problem, but he can't get back down. And and I have had the situation when I was pregnant and I couldn't get to him. And have like three Danish dads came over to my rescue and and and kindly helped. But uh yeah, that made me feel like uh a bit of a bad mom at the time.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

I know. Um, but it it is a freedom they foster here. My husband even mentions it to me a lot when he talks about our son testing boundaries. It's very good for his develop his education. He's touching these boundaries, he's learning about his body. I mean, he really talks about growing up and just the idea of education development, not just being a cerebral thing, which I think I think of a lot, but really being like a whole body and identity thing. Um, and it really started to get to this point that after being here a year, I started to get more into this. I don't know, maybe became a little bit more Danish in my thinking. So, you know, as you know, we moved our son from an international school to a Danish Banaeo, but not just any Danish Bernahoo. We're like, no, no, no. If we're gonna do it, we're gonna like really do it. And we put him into a forest but bonah, a scoa bonah, right? So a skoa bonah is literally like the kids are out in the forest, they're dressed for the weather. It doesn't matter rain, sun, snow. everything like they're out there, they're building fires, they're making popcorn, they're they're in it, and they're really just getting a lot more holistically trained and a lot more confidence.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Exactly. And again, back to that confidence. It's just getting built in early. Yeah. And I think that really does shine through with Danes in adulthood, actually. You're right. That's at least my perception. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. So you have your kids in the in the Danish Bernie Hill. So of course they allow them a bit more freedom to try things. And then you know you get to that point with your two-year-old that I walk in every day, almost every day this time last year and they're like, oh I'm so sorry, Selena, you know, but he did it again and then he's there with a black eye, a big pump on his head, scratches, just because he found a new way that day to test himself.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Um and this just was like the sixth week in a row. And again it's one of those it's like oh is he safe and you know you have to get out of your English head sometimes. Of course he's safe but they just allow them freedom even in the Vogistu right in the early nursery.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

The early nurseries yeah I will say though a few scratches and a black eye I would also be like oh god and you would test my boundaries are you are you actually watching my kid like what are you what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_02 23:21

But I the pedagogues are I have to say are amazing in the Vogistu and the Bernie Hill. So no no issue there. It was just um just a a few weeks of unfortunate events. Yeah I mean and a crazy two year old to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Testing his limits testing his boundaries yeah and using his body right full education as my husband would say exactly well I can tell you that he's had that but when we talk of the high trust and independence right how was it when your eldest started school actual school was it more of the same I think it intensifies to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Oh my gosh I don't think my heart can handle that I've got it's very fresh in my mind because he only started school he's in grade zero right now translating grade zero is kindergarten in the US oh yeah so uh uh yeah it it's but they call it Burniho class so it's kindergarten class but it's in the school yeah they move them out of the little things and kind of get it into the institution building they're in the same building as some of the third fourth graders. Yeah. But yeah a good example of how it intensifies is when you look at the daycares they have security codes they have fences you know it there is some safety stuff there and kids can't just wander out that's not the case in a lot of the Danish schools and definitely not in my son's so it's open. Yeah so when you when you first take your kid there you're like my God he's six years old he doesn't go anywhere on his own and there's no gate so he could in theory just wander off. Yeah yeah no gate is like unheard of in the states you can have no security there is security but then they don't use it on the doors the doors are always open I have an alarm but I never said it. Yeah exactly I know it but it you of course you just it's another one of those things you just have to embrace it and you and now it's not even a thought in my mind. But recently I had a really funny conversation with one of the teachers there who told me that a group of grade zero so Bernie Ayo class same age as my son were caught halfway to Neto which is about 500 meters from the school and it requires crossing a very busy street. This is probably why the story is a little bit shocking to be honest. So a group of fifth graders crossed and said hey 10 11 year olds what are you what are you doing? And when they ask this question to them apparently they just very casually said well we found five krona and we just wanted to go to netto and spend it and I was like like yeah I feel a bit bad for Neto I feel like a couple of episodes now we've bashed netto you have a lot to answer for Neto but we still love you.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

We do actually I've I've now figured out how to use you and I do like you but okay going back to the kids I actually understand a little bit because first of all they probably wanted to know if it was real because nobody has cash here. It is nearly a cashless society. A little bit more mythical yeah cash the concept of cash is mythical and they're like oh things like you spend money but I don't ever see money. And so they're probably like what is this coin? And they're probably learning about money in theory right and they're like I want to see what this can buy um because nobody sees it if anything to be honest if I found a five kroner I'm like is this a relic is still found. Is this a toy? Yeah I mean okay so it's just like it happened the other day um my son was playing I don't know what they he was doing but made some kind of chemical experiment with water and colors and stuff and he's quote selling it to my husband and I hear them I'm making dinner and I hear them from the other room he goes naye fa. Nai you need to mobile pay me it's an app on your phone you have so I hear my husband going ding ding and he goes no fa you have to use your app actually use your app you have to use your mobile app mobile app that's what mobile pay is use your app and I kid you not this morning he comes to me and he goes mama does my phone have an app called mobile pay because I'm gonna need it and I'm like how do you even know but oh my god in seriousness I I do get it because that story you told me about them just wandering off a group of them to go spend five kroner it makes my stomach flip a little bit but it's a perfect example of how differently safety and independence are calibrated here.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

Yeah for sure I mean of course some of this I still think okay you know just go with it but I think I'm I'm I'm actually getting used to it but yeah over time maybe letting things go it doesn't mean that you don't care and you lose all of your own uh internal values you just have to adjust and caring it just means something in a different way here. Yeah it's less like bubble wrapping your kid and just letting them you know stay curious watching your kids see how they respond adjusting as you go that it's a been a big part of it for me at least how do we get to that point exactly and honestly this feels like a conversation that we probably need to return to in a few months because your kids recently started in the school Bernie Hale right in the in the forest daycare and I'm sure that there's going to be a lot of other stories coming out of that my kid was only just started in school things are changing all the time. So but speaking of stories um for those you know they let them do what kind of moments that we all experience we really want to hear from you listeners on what you faced how you dealt with it and then we're going to take a selection of these and feature them in a future episode. This is definitely sort of part one if you like of this topic and I think it makes it more fun to know where you are as well so if you can just let us know where you're based. Oh sorry where you're based where you're from yeah because I love the clash of the cultures that's kind of the uh theme in everything here isn't it so write to us at thescandyshift at gmail.com or you can DM us on Instagram uh at thescandy shift yeah definitely I'd love to hear it this would be great right yeah and if any of this sounds familiar no you're not alone we're still figuring it out too right we're still having this like cringe moments but we're gonna stay cool calm and Danish on the outside and panic inside yeah that's a good message yeah but thanks very much for spending part of your day with us yes thank you and remember to rate review subscribe and share with a friend who may be in the middle of their own scandy shift boy day tack boy day