Be MORE Human

Episode 6: Be More Human

Feel like tech is dominating your world?

In this episode, I unpack how digital overload and cognitive offloading (outsourcing your thinking) can leave you anxious, distracted, and disconnected — even when you’re “connected” all day.

You’ll hear why the algorithm isn’t built for your peace — it’s built for your attention.

And why attention is your steering wheel.

Then I give you a simple, practical reset:
✅ a 7-day Think For Yourself Challenge
✅ boundaries that actually stick
✅ more calm, more space, more self-control
✅ more real connection — because humans need humans

About the host:
I am a mental health and wellbeing coach who supports adults with busy brains — including ADHD — to find calm, clarity, and self-trust.

Support beyond the podcast:
I offer a free, no-obligation 30-minute call.
You’ll find my contact details below:

https://www.goodtothinkdifferently.com/coaching 

ben@goodtothinkdifferently.com

Transcript

Ben (00:02)
A group of friends stood shoulder to shoulder.

all messaging each other heads down.

family out for food and everyone's on their phones.

Don't get me wrong, it happens in my family and I bet it happens in yours too. Are we scoff? What's the world come to, ⁓ But honestly, it's not funny. It's really bloody sad because it's doing something to us. And that shit's got to change.

I'm not just talking attention span stuff, not just screen time guilt, we're actually outsourcing our thinking.

And when you outsource your thinking long enough, life starts happening to you instead of you steering it.

So this episode is, I guess a bit of a loving slap around the face.

think for yourself to be more human.

Not a glorified cyborg, half human and half machine. Because humans need humans.

Welcome to Something for the Busy Brain, a supportive podcast for people whose brains rarely switch off. I'm Ben Cook, a mental health and wellbeing coach, and I help simplify the lives of people with busy brains, including ADHD.

And I feel incredibly strongly about this one. As someone with ADHD, as a coach, and as a parent raising kids in this digital generation, like what the actual fuck is happening?

And listen, I am not anti-tech. I love tech. I use tech. I'm guilty of the whole thing too. But I'm seeing something that really worries me.

We're becoming less self-sufficient, less self-aware. When you lose those two things, how on earth are you supposed to feel in control of your life?

Let me ask you something.

Do you ever get that sense that the day isn't yours? Like you're not living it? You're managing it? Like a bloody to-do list? Messages, emails, pings, alerts, updates, content, notification. Notifications. A quick question of have you got a sec? And for busy brains, it's like having a radio permanently on in the background. Always contactable. Always on.

And the problem isn't that you're weak. The problem is that you're being pulled all day.

noise coming in and hardly any space where you let the noise out or at least quieten the noise.

And then you wonder why you feel wired but tired. Why you can't focus. Why you feel weirdly anxious for no obvious reason.

Right. I want to give you a phrase, cognitive offloading. That's what I call it. Basically outsourcing your thinking. And we're all guilty of it. Me included. Too often, our first response to a question is, check online, Google AI screens.

We're not used to thinking as much for ourselves. We're not used to problem solving. We're not used to sitting with a question and letting our brain do the thing it's designed to do. And I know this sounds deep, but it can feel like digital dependence and cognitive decline.

Not because you've suddenly become thick. Not because you're training your brain not to bother.

It's like, hey, why lift the weights if someone else will do it for you?

When we were younger, we used to think more freely. We'd be bored and then boredom would turn into imagination. Now boredom lasts two, maybe three seconds and then phone. And the thing is busy brains hate boredom. The boredom is where your brain decompresses. Boredom is where you process stuff. Boredom

is where your self shows up. And we've basically murdered it.

So we're permanently stimulated and somehow still empty. And that's the bit people don't talk about.

Now, can we talk about the algorithm?

Because I think this is where people get it twisted. People go, ⁓ it's just entertainment. It's just scrolling. I'm just having a little break. Mate, it's not just anything. It's designed. It's engineered. And it's not engineered for your peace. It's engineered for your attention. And here's how it works.

in plain English. If you're calm, grimded and content, you probably don't score much.

You put your phone down and you go live your life.

So the stuff that keeps you stuck.

It's the stuff that spikes you. Outrage, drama, shock, conflict, fear, novelty. Because if you feel something intensely, you stay. So yeah, outrage and novelty equals engagement.

If it makes you angry or makes you go, what? You don't look away. And if you don't look away, they win.

And if you're not intentional, you don't have a phone, you've got a bloody chain attached to you.

This is why our brains feel busy. Because your nervous system is being poked and prodded all day. You're always reachable. Always taking in noise. Always reacting. And busy brains already struggle with switching off. We're dopamine-seeking little chaos gremlins at the best of times. So we don't need more stimulation. We need more space.

And the more we outsource our thinking, the less self-sufficient we feel. The less self-aware we feel. And then we're like, why do I feel lost?

you're not hearing yourself anymore.

And as a parent, I feel this one hard. COVID fast-track digital to keep us all connected. And now, in a really weird way, I think we're more disconnected than ever. And we've all seen it. We've all felt it. Just because it's the new normal doesn't mean it's right or it should stay that way.

We're losing practice at being human. And then we wonder why real conversation feels awkward. Increasing numbers of people struggle socially in person. And we wonder why so many people feel lonely. I don't need to connect those dots for you. Connection feels so scarce. Even though we're connected all day.

Humans need humans. Full stop. Not digital noise. Not endless input. Not likes. Humans. And I think that's why there's this increased longing for connection. Something that feels human. Something real.

because the world is getting more digital and people are craving the things that can't actually be automated. Someone's presence.

The people I respect, admire and who inspire me the most.

They're the ones who understand themselves. They're self-reliant.

They're resilient.

They're properly human. Not perfect. Just grounded.

So do this with me. Think about who inspires you the most. Who is it?

And what is it about them? Because I guarantee it's not that they reply quickly or they're always online. It's usually they're present. They've got backbone. They're real. They know who they are. These people have deeply human qualities and that's exactly what makes them stand out.

The things that have traditionally been called soft skills are going to be the skills people crave more. Because human stands out in a digital world. So the question becomes...

How do you stand out? How can you be more human? And that's where I want this episode to actually help. Not just rant. So I'm giving you a simple challenge. No perfection. No shame. Just a way to start taking your brain back. A seven day think for yourself challenge.

Day one, the 10 second pause. Before you Google or AI anything, just pause for 10 seconds.

and ask yourself.

What do I think?

That's it. 10 seconds. You're not banning tools. You're rebuilding your thinking muscle.

Day two, add some friction, make scrolling slightly harder, move the apps, log out, turn off notifications. Friction isn't punishment. Friction is freedom. Have a think about those times you've forgotten your phone, you've left it at home and you've had to go hours without it. And think about how much more engaged in life you felt and it's

actually been liberated.

Day 3

Quieten the noise.

Two minutes, no input. Check in with yourself and just ask, what am I feeding right now?

Busy brains need somewhere to put the noise.

Day four, replace scroll with human.

one human moment per day. Call. A voice note. Speak to someone. Because your nervous system knows the difference between connection and consumption.

Day five, solve one thing without the internet. One small problem. No checking. Just you because self-reliance feels like confidence.

Day six, create instead of consume.

Day six is where we flip the script.

So take 10 minutes. That's it. You're going to create something instead of consuming something. Set a timer for 10 minutes. And I want you to write this header at the top of the page. If I was fully in control of my life, it would look like... Then brain dump bullets. Messy is fine. Swearing is allowed. Let yourself dream a little bit. Pour out words from your heart, not your head.

but just keep going.

And here's the important part. When that 10 minute timer ends, you pick one bullet, just one, and you turn it into an action you can do in the next 24 hours.

So it becomes dream, decision, do. Not some bloody vision, Borge, we'll never look at again. A plan with a pulse. Because the whole point of this episode is life doesn't just happen to you. You steer it.

Day seven, one boundary. Pick one boundary and keep it. No phone at meals. No phone first 30 minutes of your day. Phone out of the bedroom. Attack a screen free evening. Play games with the family instead. Try taking a lunch break without your phone. Set a timer on your phone for 20 minutes when you can look at it again.

or read from a book for 45 minutes. And you can't check your screen until that time is up.

It'll probably feel really uncomfortable to begin with.

that if you don't choose boundaries, the world chooses them for you.

If life feels like it's happening to you, it's not always because you're doing life wrong. Sometimes it's because your attention is actually being rented out and attention is your steering wheel. So this is me saying it with love, genuine love and to myself too. Think for yourself, not as some motivational poster.

as an act of self-respect. Because humans need humans. And your busy brain deserves less noise.

So here's your call to action. Do the seven day challenge. And if this hits you and you're sat there going, shit, that's me. Share it with someone you care about because we're all in this. And if you want support, finding calm, building boundaries, not feeling so bloody on all the time, that's what I do.

Contact details and links are in the episode description if you want to reach out for a free 30 minute call. No pressure, no obligation, just a chat.

Thanks for listening to Something for the Busy Brain.

If you want more episodes like this, hit follow wherever you're listening.

Help your busy brain. Quieten the noise.

Your brain won't feel calm and in control if it never gets a bloody minute to breathe and humans breathe. So be more human and I'll see you in the next episode.