Stop Borrowing Energy From Tomorrow: My Truth About ADHD Burnout

Yesterday I tried to record this episode and I couldn’t get one word in front of the next.

But because my brain was completely and utterly fried.

This episode is about that place.
Wired but tired.

I’ve been building something that matters deeply to me these last few weeks. Up at 6am. Laptop by 6:05. Every waking moment has been consumed by this.

Caring is expensive.

This isn’t about laziness.
It’s not about discipline.
It’s about complete nervous system dysregulation.

Key takeaways:

What “wired but tired” actually feels like (and why it’s not the same as being sleepy)

Why ADHD burnout often looks like talking more, not less

The hidden cost of hyperfocus and caring deeply

“We don’t lack capability — we lack containment”

How to spot your personal burnout warning signs

Why external scaffolding is regulation, not weakness

How body doubling and accountability can stabilise your nervous system

The concept of “borrowing energy from tomorrow”

A simple way to start your own energy audit today

The reframe: energy management = nervous system management

Hit follow/subscribe, and if this lands, send it to someone in your world who needs a push to press go.

About the host:
I am a mental health and wellbeing coach who supports adults with busy brains — including ADHD — to find calm, clarity, and self-trust.

Support beyond the podcast:
I offer a free, no-obligation 30-minute call.
You’ll find my contact details below:

https://www.goodtothinkdifferently.com/coaching
ben@goodtothinkdifferently.com

Transcript

Ben (00:03)
Today's episode is about energy management and what better place to record this than me lying on my green shag pile rug on my office floor.

Yesterday I attempted to record a podcast episode, but I was completely and utterly broken. I couldn't get one word in front of the next.

I think I might put the episode out there at some point because I think it's important for people to hear just how broken I was and for me to be vulnerable enough to put that out there. But yesterday it felt like I needed babysitting. And that's energy mismanagement. I was wired but tired. So a couple of episodes back I spoke a

about a huge project I am on the verge of launching in my local town, Panarth, where I live.

I have been up at six in the morning on a laptop by six o' five. I have been trying to build the website. I've been trying to get all the technical bits working. I've had excessive admin. I've had excessive planning. Every day has been a step closer to the launch and the excitement.

But I have experienced significant diminishing returns.

My brain has just been full. Like a saturated sponge, has been no room to absorb anything else. Yet I've had to carry on pushing, knowing that the only break my mind is going to get is when the project is launched.

So let me go back to that this wired but tired concepts and what that actually feels like. We're not talking sleepy.

we're talking nervous system is completely fried. It's just.

Just that completely frotted. There's just noise that you can't make sense of in your head. For me, I find if I've got a lot to process, I talk more. But I have been talking relentlessly despite feeling absolutely shattered. Rather than taking myself away and switching off, I've been talking.

and doing my own heading. So Monday, I knew I needed to take a step back. So I booked in for a full body massage on Monday afternoon.

And it was an hour long massage. And after about half an hour...

I had to say to the girl doing the massage, I'm doing my own head in. I need to switch off, but I cannot stop talking. It was a constant stream of consciousness, but I couldn't make any sense of it, so she didn't stand a hope in hell. There were no internal breaks. I just needed to talk. And the more I talked, the more burnt out I felt.

So.

You got cortisol keeping me alert, keeping me awake, adrenaline momentum and dopamine drives from...

the exciting elements of the project, but no parasympathetic rest. Just complete and utter nervous system dysregulation, but not being able to shut down or switch off.

The interesting thing here, and I think there is probably an educational message.

with ADHD and neurodivergent energy, that energy can be depleted differently. Now, speaking for myself, I absorb everything around me. Things that other people don't even notice. I absorb everything. Noise, light, emotion, tone, micro-expressions, ideas, possibilities.

risk responsibility. My brain is constantly

constantly looking, it's constantly searching, constantly exploring, which on a normal day can make it challenging to get through a sentence because I'm having to really, really concentrate on what I'm saying. But when your brain is wired but tired, you often haven't got a hope in hell of getting through that sentence. So you can feel useless.

when I know the reality is that I am far from useless.

But.

That's just energy expenditure. Then throw into the mix hyper-focus, passion, caring deeply, masking, executive function effort. And I'm burning fuel all bloody day.

This is not laziness. It's not lack of discipline. Even though sometimes we tell ourselves it is.

but its attention being pulled by novelty. A mind that's constantly seeking dopamine. Its sensory overload. Its emotional hyper awareness. Its cognitive overflow. My cup is full.

Let's not talk about superpowers. Let's not talk about hyperfocus being a superpower. It comes often with a huge cost. That huge cost is we're borrowing energy from tomorrow.

Think about that.

So if you've got a brain that's wired for buzz, excitement, play, exploring, building, impact, you burn bloody hot. And hot engines need bit more maintenance.

Caring is expensive.

Innovation is energetically expensive.

The hardest thing is often picking up on those warning signs though.

For me, feels like my brain has no space to think.

that it can't switch off. My speech actually speeds up rather than slowing down.

It goes from meandering thoughts to...

like a broken scattergun approach to thinking.

Editing myself excessively. Overworking in areas way outside of my own strengths. Completely losing clarity. And needing someone to sit with me.

What are your warning signs?

If you're not good at spotting your warning signs, maybe think about who is. Maybe think about who knows you really well. And use them. Because more often than not, they'll like to feel that they can support you.

So, Monday afternoon, I had a friend sit with me for a few hours. Thank you, Jess.

I booked my massage.

I...

went swimming two mornings in a row.

Also, body doubling can be incredibly useful.

Maybe sit with someone who has got more energy with you. You don't need to talk to them. You just need to feed off their energy. And if you're anything like me, that works. It might not have been something that you've tried much before.

feed off the good shit.

High functioning ADHD adults, and I hate that term high functioning, but I'm going to say it anyway because it's what a lot of people use and it's relatable. We don't lack capability. We lack containment.

External scaffolding isn't weakness, it's regulation.

I don't think we share enough. We message instead of talk.

We hide behind emails, hide behind WhatsApp messages and texts, where tone, emotion and context can all get lost.

think we need to stop being so superficial. By that I mean every single day we do the hi, hi, how you doing? As we pass each other, but it's not really how are you doing?

It's just something we say.

So maybe we think about scratching beneath the surface a little bit more.

Think about this. Hi, how are you doing? Good, good. How are you really doing? That's when we open up.

Who can you be real with?

Who knows you when your speech or energy changes? Who hears, feels or sees that shift? They are people.

When burnout hits, it doesn't need to be dramatic. It doesn't need to be explosive. It can be blank, numb, static. Can't sequence your thoughts. Can't start anything. Brain fog. Just emotional flatness or incredible irritability.

You don't need more discipline in that moment. You bloody need recovery.

So thinking about this subject of energy management as I take a brief moment to sip my coffee.

the irony. Taking a stimulant when my energy levels are low.

Think about... maybe think about doing a basic energy audit for yourself. Sounds really shit, sounds really boring, but... Think about the things that drain you.

And the opposite of that, think about the things that replenish your energy, things that restore your energy. Are you borrowing energy that you will need tomorrow?

Think about factoring in time to decompress before you need it.

Protect your time for you in each and every day.

whether that is first thing in the morning or time in the evening or doing something for you in your lunch break. Don't stack emotional labor. And as I'm saying this, I'm feeling incredibly guilty because this is exactly what I've been doing.

Build white space around yourself.

Move your body. Have more water. Sit in silence and get uncomfortable with that silence.

get uncomfortable or maybe sit in that discomfort until you feel comfortable.

But I think honestly, one of the things that can work best is having some kind of accountability buddy.

If you know, you, you probably know the things that drain your energy because you've been there before. It's that cycle. You go, go, go, go, go, broken. If you know something's coming up, that's going to sap your energy, be open, speak to a friend about it beforehand and make sure that they're keeping you on an even keel.

Make sure that they check in with you each week. You're not asking for much, but by actually telling them you want them to check in on you.

because you're at risk of burning yourself out. Even just getting into the habit of telling them that will make you think more clearly about how you manage yourself.

Energy management is nervous system management.

if your brain is noisy.

If you're wired but tired, if you care deeply about the things you're doing but it's costing you, you're not broken.

You're burning brightly without any kind of fuel strategy.

Busy brains do not need more discipline. They need better energy boundaries.

And that's the episode.