A Really British Podcast
Learn about the life and language of the UK with your hosts Annie & Tom.
A Really British Podcast
British Weddings Explained PART 2
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This is part two of British Weddings Explained.
In this episode Annie and I talk about wedding dress shopping, the actual ceremony and the songs Brits love to dance to at the wedding reception. We'll also talk about royal weddings and the new trends celebrities are introducing to British wedding culture.
If you are learning English don't forget to watch my video about the vocabulary of British Weddings here▷https://youtu.be/nllGMx2KgQ0
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Thanks for listening,
Annie and Tom
Welcome to a really British podcast with Annie and Tom.
SPEAKER_00Okay, let's get ourselves to the big day. And that's kind of like a term for your wedding day, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, how was your big day? Yeah. Like, how was your wedding day?
SPEAKER_01It is huge.
SPEAKER_00It is big huge. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I didn't sleep a wink the night before. Did you not? It was just too massive. It's just this day that you've been thinking about for so long. Well, this is it.
SPEAKER_00And lots of people have been thinking about it since they were kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Did you always envisage it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I suppose you can't help thinking about it. And you know, it is, it is a you know, for a bride with a big dress, and it you know, that there's an an excitement about it, I guess. I remember we were staying at a hotel in London because we got married in London, and and I opened half the window and I shouted out, I'm getting married today, and this guy was going past. I think he was like, I don't know, just like on his way to work, and he went, Don't do it, love it was so funny, it was so funny, but yeah, it is it is a big day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's quality. So we're gonna talk about the sort of classic church wedding and that moment of walking down the aisle. That's a big moment, isn't it? There are several big moments in a wedding, and I think for the for the bride to be walking down the aisle, um or groom, of course, yes in same-sex marriage, yeah, um, that's a moment.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and and so that traditionally the husband would be standing at the top of the aisle, and he would have his back to the door so he wouldn't see his bride enter.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Um, but then when she comes in, all the guests turn around.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and then traditionally, if it is a church wedding, and sometimes even if it's uh in a civil uh setup, you would uh have the bride's side and the groom's side. Yeah. So when they arrive at the church, they would say, You bride or groom, and then you sit on one side of the church or or the other side. Um so yeah, so the bride would be getting ready with her bridesmaids, that's their job is to get her ready on the day, keep her calm, feed her lots of champagne. Yeah, and then um traditionally she'd arrive at the church or the uh registry office in some kind of beautiful vehicle, so maybe a white Rolls Royce or a Bentley or a carriage, horse and carriage, that's how the royals do it. Or like a London cab as well, they're sometimes done here, like a yeah, traditional one, and you'd put a white ribbon over the front, so it would go from like the wing mirrors to the front uh of the car, and that would be a sign. So anyone driving that day, and sometimes you see it, you see the car coming with the white, and you know that there's a bride inside, and that's quite exciting, and everyone will wave, and that's really nice, yeah. Yeah, and then the bridesmaids would be in there as well, and the flower girls. So bridesmaids are typically kind of like quite like older girls, and then the flower girls are the younger, like very little ones, and they're super cute.
SPEAKER_00Super sweet to see them walking down the aisle because they can barely walk and they're kind of everyone's just sort of cooing at them, like oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and so they would at the top of the aisle, the bridesmaids have to lay out the dress and make sure that it's all looking kind of perfect, and then uh walk down the aisle towards the husband with your dad or you know, a significant other. I've had mums walk down with their daughters, yeah, yeah. Um, and that was lovely.
SPEAKER_00We didn't talk about wedding dress shopping. I mean, yeah, so traditionally, again, it's a white dress. Of course, that changes depending on the situation.
SPEAKER_01But our mum got married in black.
SPEAKER_00She did, yeah. She also got a spot very cool, the only spot she ever had in her life.
SPEAKER_01Did we not hear about this?
SPEAKER_00On her wedding day.
SPEAKER_01I know. I was like, Mum, I think I'd when I was going through my sporty years, I was like, I'd have traded one spot on one day if it was my wedding day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but so wedding dress shopping. Uh how was it for you? What was that?
SPEAKER_01Well, I actually didn't want to spend a lot of money on my wedding dress because I did know it was going to be for one day. Um, so actually, mine came in massively under budget. It was very nice, classic. I was quite lucky um I got something that I loved, but people do spend thousands and thousands on it. Um, my shoes were vintage, they were £22. I still remember uh vintage Italian. So I just thought, you know, we didn't have vast amounts of money, I'd rather spend it on a honeymoon, something fun to do together.
SPEAKER_00There's music for when the bride walks down the aisle. Traditionally, it's Felix Mendelssohn's wedding march.
SPEAKER_01However, comes the bride.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you unconventionally went for a different song.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I think that's quite common now as well, is that people like you said, you kind of tweak your wedding to to reflect you guys as a couple.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so, yes, I've completely forgotten what we had. You know it.
SPEAKER_00You had it's a Fionn Reagan song.
SPEAKER_01We asked you to play it on guitar, didn't we?
SPEAKER_00Be good or be gone. It's a lovely like guitar part. Um, you asked me to do it, and I was like, I can play it, but I would be terrified of making mistakes, and I just want to enjoy this moment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's fair enough.
SPEAKER_00So you got someone else to play it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's totally fair enough. Um, yeah, so it was kind of acoustic guitar thing, um, which was quite nice because we didn't have a religious wedding, we had um uh it's an interfaith minister, but uh someone who we were able to create a ceremony that reflected the two of us, which is really nice, very nice, and that's quite common now. Um, but yeah, so then the the bride walks down and the um the groom at the end will turn just as she comes to the top, and it's the first time he's seen her in her dress, and it's usually he's in tears, dad's in tears, everyone's in tears because it's a beautiful moment.
SPEAKER_00It's a beautiful moment.
SPEAKER_01And usually the the groom standing at the end would have his best man next to him.
SPEAKER_00That's right. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And why would you have a best man? What do you think that's for?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I think I'm sure there's a reason to protect him or to his hold his honour or something like that.
SPEAKER_01Um because it's usually only one. Uh in a British wedding, you have one best man, but you might have multiple bridesmaids, whereas I think in America you have several of each, don't you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you do have groomsmen. So you have a best man and then you have groomsmen to make the group of guys. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um the main uh thing for the best man to do is to hold the rings.
SPEAKER_01Oh yes.
SPEAKER_00Don't lose the rings, and then to make a speech later on.
SPEAKER_01And that's that's uh uh an element of comedy in lots of wedding films that the best man has lost the ring.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that always happens. The vows. So the vows are a huge part of the uh a church wedding. In Four Weddings and the Funeral, do you remember the vicar? He says to be your awfully wedded wedding. Awfully wedded wife, not lawfully wedded wife.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that's famous.
SPEAKER_00Changes it, yeah, that's quite a humorous part. Um, the Church of England full thing is I take you to be my husband and wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death to us part. Hmm. I remember doing this, um, certainly like saying, like, I Thomas, Reese, take thee. Um, and as I was repeating it, I was like, Oh my god, I'm doing the thing that I've seen in and heard so often. Yeah, in a hundred TV shows, a hundred films. Yeah, it's a really special moment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and those actually, when you read them out, and you obviously read them really nicely, but they are actually to have and to hold, to cherish. These are actually really lovely words.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01They're really nice.
SPEAKER_00They are definitely. So in the Indian wedding, we also had some vows, but we hadn't looked at them. Uh, we didn't know what they were, they were just kind of given to us. Oh, yeah. And they were maybe not necessarily aligned with our values. Okay. So we're reading them out, and I thought they would be just you know, nice, normal things. Yeah. Things like um, you know, like uh Shahna will provide a good clean home.
SPEAKER_01Uh something about not spending your money or something.
SPEAKER_00Not spending my money frivolously, and it was just like we were just like, wow, these are really not aligned with who we are, and and we were sort of like curling up in a ball saying them, and then I could just feel how uncomfortable Shauna was. So I uh just free you ad-libbed and we ad-libbed, we're just like, okay, actually, what I really want to say is this these things, and they were that was really lovely, that was a really magic moment. Yeah, I think yeah, it was a nice moment, just like, oh god, yeah, I need to do this bit properly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, um, well, it came from the heart. I think you just truly said how you felt. Yes, it was lovely.
SPEAKER_00You say I do. Oh, you put the the ring on the uh ring finger.
SPEAKER_01Maybe we can show it, can't we? Yeah, ring finger.
SPEAKER_00Left hand, left hand, that's it. And then um, and the the person says, and now you may kiss the bride, or now you may kiss each other. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, and interesting, sorry, just reminded me, looking at our ring fingers. So you just get one ring, whereas us lucky ladies sometimes get two, because we get the engagement ring, of course, um, and then we get the wedding ring, which we add on on the wedding day itself.
SPEAKER_00Nice, yeah, very cool, and then everyone lines up outside, and as the couple leave, they everyone throws confetti, which is a nice moment, a good photographic moment. Often it's rose pet dried rose petals, yeah, biodegradable uh often these days. Yeah, um, of course, you have to sign the regist register as well.
SPEAKER_01That's the kind of the legal part of it, the legal part of it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you have to have a witness as well. Yes, you're the witness for mine, I was the witness for yours.
SPEAKER_01There might be some music, a little interlude once things are signed. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00There's probably lots of other little bits and bobs that we've we've left out, but those are the kind of main traditions of the actual uh ceremony. Yeah, um, so let's get to the fun part. The party! Well, so uh if often it's called the wedding breakfast, which is confusing because it's not breakfast, we're not having sausage and eggs. No, no, it could be just dinner usually, lunch or dinner, depending on the time.
SPEAKER_01It's later in the day for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's just to throw people.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I thought that's quite confusing myself. But then it makes me want to have breakfast when I hear that. Oh, yeah, I would like uh scrambled eggs and toast. There's the receiving line. So well, so we're going to a venue, it could be a hotel, could be a pub, it could be anything. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01A marquee.
SPEAKER_00A marquee in a garden, that's often that's quite traditional, isn't it? Yeah, I went to a lovely wedding last year in Kent that oh two years ago that had was in a marquee and just felt so like country and and you probably only do that in the summer.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it'd be a bit chilly in the winter, yeah, for sure. But uh especially if it's kind of a country wedding.
SPEAKER_00So as the guests arrive, there's this receiving line.
SPEAKER_01So, yes, the uh the wedding party, which is the bride, the groom, the the pair, both sets of parents, they kind of go on ahead and the guests follow to the reception. Right. And sometimes there can be a little bit of a break. So people might want to go and freshen up in the hotel or change outfits. Some people want kind of a less like more like a party outfit for this part of the uh the event. But when you arrive then at the wedding reception, there's sometimes a receiving line, so that would be the main wedding party people, so like the bride, the groom, the parents, and uh and they greet the guests, the guests go past them, and you have to and the best man, maybe like chief bridesmaid, maid of honour.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, maid of honour, maid of honour. So yeah, yeah, yeah. So many terms, like head bridesmaid, head bridesmaid's maid of honour, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And uh, and so you have to sort of say something to all these people. So if you don't know them that well, it's quite quite difficult to have that much small talk because you've got to keep moving. Yeah, don't want to hold things up, and then when you get past, you get the champagne, so yeah, everyone wants to get through. But in uh Four Weddings and Funeral, they have this conversation like, What do you say at these things? What do you say? And so one of them just says, You must be very proud. Literally shakes the hand of everyone in the line saying, 'You must be very proud.' Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Just keep it simple.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, I like that.
SPEAKER_01And so you're through, and then you get your champagne and your canopies, and you're sort of mingling, chatting to people.
SPEAKER_00Then there's a tink ting ting-ting ting of the glass. Yeah. Or there's usually like maybe um what were they called? Like MC. Yeah, an MC Master of Ceremonies. They'll announce, you know, the entrance of the bride and groom.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Sit down at the tables. Yeah. Usually it's at round tables for dinner for like eight or ten. Yeah. And the food will be served. Now, in lots of cultures, the food is the biggest part of the wedding. I don't think it's a main part of a British wedding. Usually it's quite basic.
SPEAKER_01Formal, I would say. Like for as in it would be um, you wouldn't have like, I don't know, a bowl of pasta, would you? You'd have like maybe like a bit of meat, potatoes, veg, yeah, fish, potato, veg, chicken, ala, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Beef. Beef, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But it's not like the main part of the wedding. So when we were planning the Indian wedding, our thoughts were central. That the food had to be top. That was the thing that people would remember. Whereas I think when we think about a British wedding, it's like there's so much, so many other things you want to get right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00The food is a part of that, but it's not the thing that people are going to remember. Um, I think. But yeah, we sort of sat down, and that's also a thing, it's like it's a sit-down dinner, usually.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Usually, not always, but sit-down meal. Yeah, and so you you sit, yeah, you say like a table of eight to ten people, and you really hope that you've got a good table.
SPEAKER_01Well, because you don't choose, you don't just take your food and go and sit. Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_00The seating arrangement is.
SPEAKER_01The bride and groom will have spent a lot of time planning where everyone sits. And do they do friend groups together or do they try and mix people? So you've got old and young, and I mean, obviously, it's really nice to meet new people, but there are just some weddings where you're like, I just love to catch up with my friends. I really hope I'm sitting with my mates.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've got like often maybe you have like a uni table, you met a uni, old school friends table, yeah, yeah, like a colleagues' table, maybe.
SPEAKER_01Can get a little bit more raucous. Some of the weddings I've been at where they've done the friends together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And and more raucous depending on how long the champagne reception is. Because the longer that is, I find, because people are basically drinking on an empty stomach, then by the time they get to the meal, it can be a little bit yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_00A huge part, I think, of British weddings are the speeches. Yes.
SPEAKER_01The heart and soul.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so traditionally, there are three people that make the speech. There's the father of the bride, there's the groom, and then it finishes with the best man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00However, this day in this day and age that's changed a lot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00People bring their own traditions. Other people want to speak. Hey, how about we let some women speak? You know, like so the the bride might make a speech, the maid of honour might make a speech.
SPEAKER_01Mother of the bride might make a speech. Mother of the bride might be speaking.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like which I think it it that's great. That we're sort of changing those kinds of things. Um, so our wedding, we had um a few different people from both sides speak. It was really nice, get different perspectives, different stories.
SPEAKER_01I love the speeches. I literally I know some people find it a bit boring. Like, usually they happen, you have your starter in your main, and then you have the speeches before pudding. But um, and some people are like, Oh, yeah, here we go. But I I love it. I I think that's when you really understand the couple a bit more, and you get the anecdotes. I love all that. It's the like I said, it's the heart of the day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's the good stuff. Yeah, definitely. Um, there is a unspoken tradition that the best man speech, well no, so the father bride speech would be like very teary, very sweet, yeah, a bit bubbling, you know, as it is.
SPEAKER_01He's not expected to be funny, no, it's meant to be quite sincere, yes, and like I love my daughter, and I'm passing her over and like you know, all this stuff, yeah.
SPEAKER_00The groom speech is like thanking people, just thanks everybody, and then speaking says how much he loves his wife, yeah, yeah, or husband.
SPEAKER_01Um and and now in these days the wife stands up and says how much she loves her husband. Lovely, yeah.
SPEAKER_00We love that, and then finally the best man speech should be the funny one. This is where it's like everyone's a little bit pressure, so oh my god, so everyone's a little bit further, you know, down the down the drinking path, and so everyone's a bit more ready to be, you know, to have a good time, and it's supposed to be funny, supposed to be some embarrassing stories, but not too embarrassing. There's a fine line there. Um, so I've done one best man speech, and we told lots of stories about the best man, uh the the groom that were funny, not nothing too you know saucy, yeah, but we forgot to land the plane because we didn't say how great he was. So we just told all these stories about him, and then we're like, that's it, guys. And he's a bit like, yeah, funny for everyone, but like, where was the bit about me being like a good guy? And I was like, oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So when I got to Did you get back up?
SPEAKER_00Well, thankfully, no, well, so I made amends at my wedding. So he was the best man for my wedding, and so I gave a speech, and in that speech, I said how I'd forgotten to say how great he was, and so in my speech, I said how great he was.
SPEAKER_01It's just a shame that all his family didn't get friends, yes, that's all his family and friends. Oh well.
SPEAKER_00There were a few uh people that have been to both, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. I think this these days, yeah, you're right. The speeches are a great I just see them as a great opportunity to to speak from the heart. To you don't have that many opportunities where you have you know 100 people, 200 people, all there listening to you talk about how special someone is to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that's that's a lovely moment. Yeah, I think I reframe public speaking as a privilege these days where it's like I get to do this.
SPEAKER_01That's amazing.
SPEAKER_00I get to say how wonderful you know, the groom is, my best friend is, or my wife, or whoever it might be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a really beautiful reframe because I think for a lot of people it is genuinely terrifying.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, the thought of standing up in front of all those people and kind of performing. I think probably out of all of them, like we said, the best man has the kind of the there is such a pressure to perform and be funny, whereas the other ones are maybe a little bit more, you know, speech by numbers.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, definitely. Um the speeches at your wedding were great. Dad did a great job, he's a good public speaker. Stewie's one, your husband's one was fantastic as well, really sweet, really um emotional. And then was it uh John?
SPEAKER_01The best man.
SPEAKER_00John's was also great, yeah. And also, actually, the MC, I remember Gregor was just fantastic. He kept the whole wedding going.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's it, because the MC can be another friend of the bride or groom, and that yeah, just a really charismatic personality, just to keep the wedding moving because there's quite a lot of things that you need to do, as we can see, and so it's you know, m keeping people in check, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, Gregor just kept the energy going for the whole the whole night, it's really important.
SPEAKER_01Because I guess the next formal thing after the dinner is done is that most people then move to the dance floor for the first dance. First dance. Yeah, talk about high pressure. This is more high pressure, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So it's not a choreographed dance, usually.
SPEAKER_01A lot of people do actually end up choreographing, even just lightly choreographing. We didn't.
SPEAKER_00True, true.
SPEAKER_01I kind of wish we had.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it showed. I'd be honest with you.
SPEAKER_01I've got to be honest.
SPEAKER_00What was your first dance?
SPEAKER_01Uh Blessed.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, Brett Denham Blessed. Blessed is this life.
SPEAKER_01It's a bit hippie, but um, yeah, it was no, it was really lovely, and and we were very much like we will do the first 30 seconds just us, and then we had like briefed loads of our friends, like right. You literally, when this chorus comes, you can just all come on.
SPEAKER_00They're like desperate, like people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's enough. It's really awkward.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's a really special moment. Um, because everyone get everyone gets to stand around and just watch, and it's you know, the sort of the the couple together, it's it's really lovely to see.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's really sweet, and and I think that's there's been like a lot of viral stuff of people taking that to like pretending like they're doing a really sweet dance and they break out into like a really cool choreographed routine, yeah, yeah, sort of surprising everybody, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Referring to the Indian wedding and dancing, I think the one thing that we well, one of the things that people loved most about the Indian wedding was the choreographed dancing, incredible, and how it just brought people together. It was it's a show, it's ex entertaining, but it's also like an opportunity for all the guests to get to know each other leading up to the wedding.
SPEAKER_01It's very bonding, very bonding, yeah. Because you had different groups, you had uh sort of the bride's group, yeah, the girls and guys who learn a specific dance, and actually just the learning of a choreographed dance together takes time, it's like you know, sessions with a choreographer, yeah. So everyone did get to know each other, and then performing it. Wow, what a feeling!
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a it's a real show, you put on a real show, don't you? Cutting of the cake is a moment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's another big one.
SPEAKER_00Usually it's kind of like a towering white icing cake, not always, fruit cake, unfortunately, with the little miniatures uh oh the husband and wife on the top, yeah. And then they cut the cake together together and everyone cheers. Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I I yeah, uh mine was actually chocolate, so mine looked like that, but inside was chocolate.
SPEAKER_00Ah, nice.
SPEAKER_01Because I am a child, and um, some people have cheese, layers of cheese. Oh, really? Yeah, I've had that before. Okay. Because they they're just you know big cheese fans and that's their thing. Yeah, and then everyone's meant to have a slice of the cake, and then what you can do is save a tear for your child's christening.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01So, because these fruitcakes last forever, especially when they're sealed in that icing. Oh, wow. You know that icing's like yeah, and so that's the idea is that you eat one and then you save one, and we'll save two potentially.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome. Yeah, I didn't know about that. The funnest part of the wedding is the dance floor and the party. There are some colours. Classic songs that people will dance to.
SPEAKER_01And dance or fillers.
SPEAKER_00Ones that pop to mind. I mean Sweet Caroline, the Neil Diamond song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Brightside.
SPEAKER_01Yes, Killer.
SPEAKER_00By the Killers.
SPEAKER_01Dancing Queen Abba.
SPEAKER_00Dancing Queen Abba. Don't stop me now.
SPEAKER_01Having such a good time. Yeah, great.
SPEAKER_00Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah, that's cute. Frankie Valley. A new one is Where the Hell is My Husband?
SPEAKER_01Oh, brilliant. Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Is that the name of it? Where Where is My Husband?
SPEAKER_01Ray.
SPEAKER_00Ray, Where's My Husband?
SPEAKER_01Where's my husband? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Which is a funny one.
SPEAKER_01That'd be a funny one at a wedding.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So, yeah, there's just these classic songs that just always appear, like you say, floor fillers.
SPEAKER_01You wouldn't do anything too outside the norm, would you, at a, you know, at a wedding? Because you're trying to cater to multi-generations. So, you know, it's there's kind of this more safe options, I guess.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah. And there's usually like a rogue auntie or uncle doing doing old dancing.
SPEAKER_01It's all slightly unraveled.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, as the night goes, it really unravels.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, then it gets, yeah, it gets yeah, it goes on until the wee hours.
SPEAKER_01Well, and we have this uh term called carriages, that's what they always put on the invite. Carriages at midnight. Which means which means basically that's when you have to go home. Go home.
SPEAKER_00Go home everyone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And actually, sometimes it's been a really long day, so midnight might sound early, but sometimes you can be in the wedding ceremony by 11. So you're, you know, you've you've done a lot of socializing, and you know, everyone's got their heels off by then.
SPEAKER_00Superstitions around weddings, there's a few of them. The idea that if it rains on your wedding day, that's good luck.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00I think that's just r reframing of a reality uh in the UK, which is that it rains a lot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, trying to make you feel better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think so. Not seeing the wedding dress before the day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. That's a big thing, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00The guy can't see the dress.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's the idea of the big reveal, I think.
SPEAKER_00And then carrying the bride over the threshold.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Is that a thing?
SPEAKER_01Well, I think that's if that's like your new home, your new start of your new life together, they carry you over the threshold.
SPEAKER_00So threshold means what, like into the home?
SPEAKER_01Into the house, exactly through your front door. Which is interesting because in this day and age a lot of couples live together before they get married, and so they will have crossed over that threshold many times. Yeah, you know, but I suppose it's for the old days.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, definitely. Um, I don't know too much about the different weddings around the UK, how a Welsh one is different to an English one, a northern Irish one. In Scotland, um, they do enjoy a Cayley, and you also had a Cayley because your husband is Scottish.
SPEAKER_01So, what what is a Cayley to people who well Cayley is traditional Scottish country dancing, so it's a lot of reeling, um, it's very fast-paced.
SPEAKER_00What's reeling?
SPEAKER_01Reeling is where you um swing arms, you know, join arms and then you go around in a circle. Oh, yeah, okay. So um, yeah, it's it you have a caller, so someone who explains the dance and you kind of walk it through and then they start the music and then you dance, but it is chaos because in Scotland everyone knows what they're doing. You bring that tradition down to an English wedding, which we did, yeah, and it was chaos. Yeah, but so fun, so fun. So fun. And if in any doubt you just swing your partner, just grab arms and swing round.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's the best. Yeah, it's so fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's really life affirming. So that was nice. We just did an hour of that and then we went to a disco, which seemed like the right balance.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. Uh, we also had kilts as well. Your husband was in a kilt. I was in a kilt.
SPEAKER_01You're in a kilt, you look so cute.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was really fun wearing a kilt. Uh, mine was a non-clan tartan.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Although we do have Scottish history, heritage, but I I couldn't find the right tartan, so I went with uh just a yeah, a regular one.
SPEAKER_01You look great with your shaved head.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are the days. Um but yeah, it was it was really fun. Lots of people were wearing kilts.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And we all you also had outside greeting guests.
SPEAKER_01The piper.
SPEAKER_00The piper, the bag piper, which was Stu's uncle.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that was great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and you could hear when I arrived to the venue, I was quite far because of where the cars had to park, but I could hear the pipes, and it was really magic. It was really lovely.
SPEAKER_00That was really magical.
SPEAKER_01Pipes in London.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay, what about some modern trends? I've noticed that there have been a trend for celebrities to get married in registry offices, or at least like have a wedding there, the official wedding there, and then have maybe a bigger one somewhere else. So uh Charlie XCX, the pop star, she got married at Hackney Town Hall, which is where I also got married.
SPEAKER_01And which happened first?
SPEAKER_00Uh technically, she did it first, but we had already booked it.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00So, you know, I'm saying and then Jewel Lipa and Callum Turner uh got married in Marlybone Town Hall.
SPEAKER_01Which is where we got married. Well, we did our legal bit there, yeah. That's great.
SPEAKER_00Um and that's kind of like a new trend of like, let's just keep it simple, quite down to earth. Yeah, you do it there, it's really quite reasonably priced, and then you take your friends to the pub uh afterwards.
SPEAKER_01Well, Jewel Lipa, they then went on to Italy and did it.
SPEAKER_00They had a massive wedding wedding in Venice in Naples or Naples.
SPEAKER_01Sicily, wasn't it?
SPEAKER_00Sicily also, yes, Palermo. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Um the thing with that is harping back to I think it was Mick Jagger that got married at um the town hall with Bianca Jagger. No, was it is it Bianca? But anyway, it was this idea of this kind of 60s, we're just not going in like anti the big white wedding with the church. Let's just go down in our suit and get married at the town hall. Yeah. So and it was a bit like our parents were like that. They they they kind of went the opposite way uh to the traditional.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Um and there was a I remember thinking that was quite cool. They had like dinner in Soho afterwards, and then that was it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember we for your one, we went to Marloba Town Hall and then you had vouchers for uh like a local restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Typically, you like had special vouchers, yeah. We had a really like just really cheap meal and yeah, and it felt quite kind of a Tuesday or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. Um, so yeah, I think there is an embracing of that. Having said that, I do love the fact that we did it in front of our family and friends for the main events, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, wow, and then the honeymoon.
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness, yeah, I almost got about the honeymoon.
SPEAKER_01Surely the best bit.
SPEAKER_00Well, tell us about your honeymoon. Any hiccups?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yes, massive hiccup. Uh, almost didn't get on our flight. That was a bit of a disaster. Yeah, something to do with the credit card, it was a nightmare. That would have been a real anticlimax because there's something about so, in theory, the husband and wife, bride and groom, should leave the wedding venue before everybody else. It's like the departure, and then they go off on honeymoon and that they say their goodbyes. My husband loved to say goodbye to everyone at our wedding, so it was took forever to get out. But you say your goodbyes, and there's like the you know, just married on the back of the car, and there's like cans that are attached to the back of the car, so it makes a noise as you leave, and it's it is a big event, and everyone waves you off, and then you're meant to go away and just sit and relax, and just remember all the amazing memories, and I remember that sitting on a sunbed and just getting messages and just like reliving it, you know, just together, and it's the start of your married life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you pour over all the photos, like the stories, exactly like the messages. Yeah, yeah, it's it's a yeah, it takes a few days to come back to Earth.
SPEAKER_01I think so. Decompressed, yeah, definitely. I mean, you guys took it to an extreme.
SPEAKER_00We did, we did. Well, no, our honeymoon itself was in and around India.
SPEAKER_01It just took you six months to get back. Joe, it made me realise from chatting about it, there are so many elements to a wedding that I guess even I hadn't sort of remembered or definitely considered.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think also as well, like in the UK these days, we don't have many traditions. Or at least it doesn't feel like we have many traditions. I think Christmas is a time of clear, identifiable traditions that are that shape uh the day and the period of time. Weddings are also a moment where we where we do have these defined.
SPEAKER_01And I guess that we've exactly and you've just learnt them over time by going to weddings, seeing weddings portrayed in in TVs and film programmes, and you know, you do pick up all this this etiquette that I suppose I hadn't really thought about until we've discussed it all. It's really interesting.
SPEAKER_00And I've loved going to weddings from other places as well. I went to a Nigerian wedding and just seeing how things are done there so differently, but it's it's just a really interesting like view into a different culture, and uh, like uh obviously an Indian wedding, we we've we've seen that. So I think it is a great way to you know dive into a culture is to go to a wedding from that place and see how they do it.
SPEAKER_01But at the heart of it, food, fun, dancing, family, love, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Annie, a huge part of British weddings that people would have seen abroad are royal weddings.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're huge.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the first one that I can remember is I mean, I don't remember it, but like uh Prince Charles and Lady Diana.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Um, other ones St.
SPEAKER_01Paul's Cathedral, that one. St.
SPEAKER_00Paul's Cathedral, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh the first one that I remember was uh Fergie and Prince Andrew.
SPEAKER_00Oh, and uh yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_01But uh we were down in central London and uh people take it really seriously here, so the streets get closed, um, people camp out overnight, so they've got a front row seat. Um, so there was a real buzz around that one. Um, and then more recently we've had Harry and Megan, and we've had um William and Catherine. That was very beautiful, that was Westminster Abbey. Um, and yeah, I mean all the pomp, all the pageantry, and those are very traditional weddings.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that is where I think Britain really shows its traditions and its grandeur, right? Because they'll pass down the mall, right? Which is like the road leading to Buckingham Palace.
SPEAKER_01In carriages, in carriages, yeah.
SPEAKER_00The whole intention, as you say, is blocked off, yeah, high security, yeah. The Union Jack flying everywhere, yeah.
SPEAKER_01They sort of scrub it up, don't they? They remove the road marking so it all looks beautiful, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, they do trial runs at night, so I love that. Like at four in the morning, they everything's shut and they'll they'll do processions and practice it all, time it all, because it's always done to absolute perfection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and and but it's still the same thing because at the end of the day, it's two humans, you know, coming together. So it's still the big reveal of Catherine's dress that was like, oh, you know, when she stepped out of a carriage, that was really special.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so many like rumours around who's getting to design it, and it's usually a British designer because they want to showcase that. Um, and you know, they still taught I think it was the Emanuels that did Diana's dress, and they had to sort of sneak it out the back and you know, dummy dresses, and I mean it was just madness, you know. And and they still, you know, uh are still famous for it because it was such a beautiful creation, Diana's one. Right, okay. Um, you know, just the 80s dream, it was puffed sleeves and there's a train that went on forever, and um yeah, she arrived in the carriage and they were so worried it was going to get creased and then it looked really beautiful.
SPEAKER_00When you say the train, what's the train?
SPEAKER_01So her veil that then runs all the way down and then out on the floor behind her.
SPEAKER_00Is that that's held by the bridesmaid?
SPEAKER_01It can be, or they'll just lay it out so that it it sort of goes in a perfect um procession behind her.
SPEAKER_00Right, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01Um but yeah, that was uh that was a real princess dress.
SPEAKER_00Right. Um so I think like a lot of people you know of a certain age grow up seeing that, and then that's kind of what you want. It's our like Disney princess version of our Disney princess, right? You see this royal wedding, and you're like, that's what I want for myself.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um so yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Like how it does shape what people want from a wedding.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, maybe set some seriously high expectations, carriages and horses, and you know. Um, I mean, we've had some funny celeb versions which have tried to kind of recreate the royal wedding. So the Beckhams when they got married, they had thrones and um, and uh I saw a funny one recently. Actually, it was uh Peter Andre and uh and Jordan and they arrived in carriages and stuff. So yeah, that you definitely see sort of watered down elements of the royal wedding in celeb culture, but there's nothing like an actual royal wedding, and we haven't got one on the cards for ages, have we?
SPEAKER_00No, I guess not. No in America, I guess their version of Royal Wedding would be Taylor Swift.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and uh we didn't see any of that. That wasn't, you know, I the the royals, I guess it's like a display of um it's sort of expected to be a public display, it's not private actually for them. I mean it's televised, there's cameras in the church um or the abbey, and and then they usually will process from the church, wherever it is, St. Paul's for Charles and Diana, and Westminster Abbey for um some of the other ones, and they go back down the mile, everyone's cheering, waving flags, and then they get to Buckingham Palace, and then there's a moment where they'll go up on the balcony and have their first kiss in front of the crowds, and everyone cheers.
SPEAKER_00Oh, is that right? Oh, the first kiss is there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, I mean maybe they kiss in the church, but that you know, this is like a bit of a tradition. So yeah, there's there's endless footage and pictures of the royals having their first kiss on the Buckingham Palace balcony, yeah, and it just surges huge crowds and crowds of people there, you know, celebrating with them. So it's a very public affair, whereas I think Taylor Swift haven't even seen a picture. No, haven't seen it.
SPEAKER_00No idea, no, no, no, no idea, guys. We would love to hear your experiences, whether you've been to a British wedding and experienced some of the things that we've talked about here today. What were the main surprising things from from a British wedding that that you take away? Uh, we'd love you to share uh that with us. Also, if you have any questions for future episodes, please let us know. Just pop them in the comments below. Um, we'll do a kind of QA episode at some point, I think. If you've got any questions about the UK, about British culture, language, whatever, just let us know.
SPEAKER_01That's nice.
SPEAKER_00This has been a long, rambling one.
SPEAKER_01Clearly, lots to cover.
SPEAKER_00Do we quickly have any recommendations for TV, any films, any books you're reading?
SPEAKER_01Well, maybe four weddings and a funeral after that.
SPEAKER_00Clearly, four weddings and a funeral. Yeah, it's a great film. I would say get past the fact that it looks really old. Because it is really old.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_00It's like 30 odd years old.
SPEAKER_01Gosh, that's crazy, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00It's but it's it's such a brilliant film. I watched it fairly recently and it's like it's so funny. Hugh Grant is so adorable in it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, it's witty, it's fast, it's a great insight into you know a version of it.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say it does cover a lot of the stuff that we've been just talking about. Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, um, I'll give a little recommendation. There's an artist, uh, a musician I've been listening to really recently called Olive Jones, who I I've I just think is wonderful. She's somewhere between Nora Jones, not related, and Olivia Dean. Very soulful, yeah, just it's just perfect. She's from Dorset, I think, but she lives in in London. Just released a debut album for Mary. Uh, go check that out. Um, yeah, beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Alright, guys, thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01That's been lovely.
SPEAKER_00We'll see you guys next week.
SPEAKER_01Take care.
SPEAKER_00Bye.