Why everyone ACTUALLY does need a “Death Book”, getting your affairs in order, and Memorial Day family outing!

This week on A Little Unhinged, we’re talking about something nobody wants to think about… until life forces you to.

After Amber’s grandfather recently passed away without many of his affairs in order, suddenly Brittney’s “death book” idea doesn’t sound quite so crazy anymore. What started as a joke to some, turned into a very real conversation about grief, family stress, passwords nobody can find, accounts nobody can access, and how unprepared most of us actually are for the unexpected.

We talk about why people avoid conversations around death, what every adult should probably have written down somewhere, and the chaos families are left to figure out while grieving. Of course, because this is A Little Unhinged, we also discuss new mother in law  panic, funeral preferences, husbands trying to survive without us, and which people absolutely should NOT be allowed to speak at our funerals or even walk in the visitation line!😂

It’s raw, honest, emotional, practical, and somehow still funny — basically the most unhinged adult conversation we’ve had in a while.

So ask yourself this: if something happened to you tomorrow… would anybody know literally what to do or where to find anything?

As always, thank you for being here and doing life with us. 💙

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:07

I'm not crazy, I'm processing it residentally. Are we qualified?

SPEAKER_00 0:19

This is a little unhappy podcast with Amber and Brittany.

SPEAKER_06 0:40

Are we recording? Just I hope. Just kidding. What's up, guys? Hello, hello. Good morning, good evening, good night, good day, whatever time it is that you guys are listening. Um, and welcome back to a little unhinged podcast today. Um, Memorial Day special. And today we um we're kind of going off the path a little bit. Uh sorry guys. I'm getting myself adjusted on the couch. If you hear a little little sound um, a little sound turbulence here. And um, so we are kind of going back to a past episode that we talked about when we talked about my death book. Um, that Amber, that Amber said sounded so crazy. Um, and it does sound crazy until somebody dies expectedly un sorry, unexpectedly, and nobody knows where anything is, and you know, you you're everybody's running around like crazy trying to figure everything out. Um it's a little much. Yes, and Amber's gonna tell y'all about that experience, um, since she has experienced that this past week. So take it away, my dear.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Yes, yes. Sorry y'all had to get a drink. Now I'm kicking my shoes off and I have my golf fit on because it's it's tea time.

SPEAKER_06 2:11

Yes, we're red a Donny O golf shirt. And I know y'all can't see us who are listening, but we do post our clips on Facebook. So Amber and I, I have a red dress on. Amber and I has our blue on. So we played, we had a family golf outing today. We played golf, and we are red, white, and blue for Memorial Day today. So go us. We kind of had it together today.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Yes, and I have this if you're watching this, some Southern Shark blue and white shorts, and a red, white, and blue Jordan's. Yeah. But we um I when we went thought the the guys were only doing nine holes of golf. They were doing the whole 18. Like normally we go in the evening, so they only have time for nine, but they were doing the whole 18. So at whole nine, Brittany's like, I don't think we can stay for this back nine and then record, and then you know, supper and all that. And I was like, oh no. So we had to come get us a bite to eat, a little beverage, and um oh and tell them what we tell them what we're gonna do. Refreshed but on the way home. Brittany was driving along a little gravel road and sitting over there and we were chatting, and I was like, Oh my god, some puppies. So there were two little puppies that ran toward the road from a gate. Um, and we're on a you know, a rule back road. And she was like, Well, I mean, we can't take them home, neither one of us. I was like, no, but she's like, Well, we we'll go back and check on them and feed them. So she had some food in her fridge, we got, and we went back and we found them and pulled up, it ended up being, I thought it was two puppies, it was three. Yeah, we thought more black ones eat it. One was more um timid, scary. He came out when she took food, but that took the food and he went back in the little corner to eat it.

SPEAKER_06 3:58

Yeah. And we'll post pictures if anybody wants to come go get them.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yes. So they scarf that food down so fast. So we're gonna try to go back and and feed them and post pictures and see if somebody maybe wants to get them because like I said, it's three. They're not tiny tiny, but they're not that old. Um puppies that we feel like somebody has dumped.

SPEAKER_06 4:20

Yeah, somebody definitely dumped them there.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

We did that, and then we might got her um podcast stuff. But anywho, so I on an earlier episode thought that Brittany's death look was a little morbid, but um my so since we've recorded um the last did we record the last crash? Oh sorry guys. My bad. Brittany is over here heading to crash out. She got some new equipment. You know, she does all the equipment.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

I'm not crashing out, I'm processing aggressively. You need to sit with your feelings. I'd rather think of all things. Are we qualified to give it a nice absolutely not perfect?

SPEAKER_00 5:10

This is a little unhappy podcast with Amber Avery.

SPEAKER_06 5:31

Sorry guys, we're back. My bad. I hit the wrong button.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Okay, Brittany does all the equipment, and um, because I'm not tech savvy with some things I do know because I'll I guess I'll watch things like I do, I guess with TikTok and stuff, like I know how to do some things that Brittany's like, well, how do you do that? I'm not tech savvy. But as far as like all the podcast stuff, I'm like, I have no clue. So Britney has all these lights, screens, mics, these headphones that she has given me, and all this different little stuff. So she accidentally hit a button. Um we'll edit that out. Okay, so I can't remember if the lie after the last recording, is that when I had done the wedding that I was? Yes. Okay, yeah. So my past two weekends, I did a wedding um weekend before last, but amongst the wedding, the wedding was kind of in the middle of it. Wedding flowers, um, me and my mom, but my grandfather had been sick. Sorry. And um, so after we'd finished the flowers on that Saturday, Sunday, we went back to, you know, reality of everything. And that Monday we had to call the ambulance for my granddad. Um, he was taken to um a how a hospital like a little outside, like not our local hospital, because been there done that, and it was not a great experience. I try to be um positive and give them all the credit that I can, you know, when I can, um, and not be negative when a lot of local people are, but we did not have um a great experience there, and I feel like they kind of failed him. But anyway, um, moving on. We had an EMT who was very, very um, you could tell that he was kind of like he actually cared about his job, he was passionate, and he cared about what happened to his patients. He did the extra things if they were necessary. He called me on the way to the hospital to kind of ask about um medicine and things because papa was in arrhythmia on the way to the hospital in the ambulance, and I was the contact info, and um he had mentioned because before we were told that we're c we could only pick one or the other, you know, closest hospitals. Well, I mentioned that and I was like, can we do the other now versus the last one? Because that was a joke. Um, and he said, I'm not taking him to either one, we're going to a real hospital. Thank God. So anyway, my granddad gets put in ICU step down at Baptist Soto. Yeah. Um, the nurses, the doctors, the hospitalist, um, the whole ICU step-down staff, um the oncology floor, which that was not technically where my granddad needed to be, but they don't have a hospice floor anymore. But he was just like moved there after ICU stepped down for palliative care. Um, and amazing. Um, I mean, we had doctors that call, like explain things, like I wasn't there to my mom, my aunt. Um, they called if like my mom wasn't the one in the room with him, you know, it was her sister. Um, they would call my mom and explain things to her and ask questions, like, you know, is this what you know, is this what you want? Is this, you know, and explain what was going on. And we were so appreciative. And the girl that called the doctor, and I'm not sure if she was hospitalist or whatever, she was so, so good and so um caring. And like her and my granddad had connected on a level, um, even with him having dementia, having good days, bad days, um, and then with some acute things going on, some days were better than others, as far as his mental status, but they had connected um on a level as with music and playing the guitar. And that was so special to her, and then she shared it with us. So it would anyway, she was she was wonderful. They all were, and then his nurses were great. Um but anyway, he passed away um um a little after midnight, last Monday. So my whole week, um, of course, y'all know my job is crazy, but taking time out to um go with my because my mom in called after midnight, and I'm one who sleeps with my phone on silence because my child's still at home who's not out drive. Yeah. Um, anybody who knows me well enough knows if something urgent is going on, you're gonna have to come to my house and you're gonna have to be to my window because I can't deal with my phone dinging. I sleep so lightly, I can't deal with my phone dinging and beeping.

SPEAKER_06 10:45

If I need her, I know where her bedroom window is. So I go knock on the bedroom.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yeah, and anybody knows if it's something urgent, come knock on my window. Yeah. Because I'm not gonna, I can't sleep with my phone with the volume on.

SPEAKER_06 10:55

I don't either.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Um, that'll be a different story once gunner is driving.

SPEAKER_06 10:58

My my phone is actually I have an actual like a sleep schedule. Like my phone at 10 o'clock till 5 o'clock in the morning, it goes on sleep and I I don't hear anything. That like you said, that'll change when they start driving.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

I just swap mine to on the on the side to where it's on silent, but um, so this morning I was still, I guess when she came, it was like maybe 9 20 or so. Yeah, um, was still laid in the bed. I'd woke oh like I'd woken up a couple times and just kept laying there. I'm sorry, y'all. Somebody's like beating on my window, and then they I'm going to the window to look, and um somebody's beating on the front door. I was like, geez, something bad must have happened. It was my mom. She was trying to get one of us to the door to give us something and to get my chair because she was headed at the ballpark, but um, yeah, you gotta come knock on my door. But um anyway, yeah, I mean on the window. Um knock on something, don't call. But uh anyway, he passed away on Sunday and or it was after midnight. So Monday technically, and Wednesday I went with my no Tuesday afternoon, I guess. Went with my grandmother, who's no longer married to my granddaddy. They had been divorced since I was a baby. Um, my mom, her sister, and her brother to the funeral home and um, you know, made all the arrangements, did all the things. And then um we had his we had some out of town family, and then like his um sister, which was his last living sibling, she had some appointments, her and her husband on Thursday, and then with Monday being a holiday, we didn't want people to have to take off work, you know, on Thursday, because some companies like you can't if you miss the day before a holiday, you don't, you know, all that. So we just want to do it on Saturday. So anyway, we did all that yesterday, but all that brought up the whole wishes and what you would like.

SPEAKER_06 13:08

Amber, I'm gonna I'm gonna interrupt you real quick. Amber actually spoke at his funeral, and it is live streamed, by the way, guys. I was very proud of her.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Yes, no, so one of my friends is like the um works at the funeral home and she's wonderful. The director or whatever, and all of my family had nothing. Shout out to Miles, yeah, good things to say about her. She was so so good, and she is wonderful at what she does, and she was so helpful, so understanding. Like, if last minute I needed to do something, change something, add something, whatever, I'm send it, and she was like, no problem, whatever. And um, she was absolutely wonderful. Yeah, and um I told her when I was having a add something, change something, whatever. I was like, oh my god. I was like, my people are about to have their stuff together.

SPEAKER_06 14:00

And yeah, she said she said all that leading up to what this episode is about, about knowing we're yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yes, so I thought before when Britney spoke about it, when having a death book, um, because she started this book when we were only 30 something. And I was like, oh my god, I was just kind of, you know, that's morbid, whatever. Like, I don't want to be 30 something, write my kid a letter, you know, whatever. I just don't want to think about that, whatever. Well, when it comes to that.

SPEAKER_06 14:28

She thought I was planning their funeral at 35. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

So when you come down to it though, like, as far as my like I've worked with home health, and you could, you know, we would ask our patients if they have had a living wheel, um, if they had all this kind of stuff when we admitted them, like, just to kind of see what they're which is were so we would know as nurses, you know, because you know, if somebody has a DNR, which, you know, and do not resuscitate, things like that we have to know because if they don't and they were to code, then as a nurse, we have to do CPR on them until the EMT arrives, which I have had to do on a patient who had passed away um while I was in the home, or you know, come in and they're no longer breathing, they no longer have a pulse, whatever. And we have to call, you know, the emt's ambulance service to come. And sorry.

SPEAKER_06 15:30

And um we're a little parts, you know, we get a little parts talking, we gotta eat a little drink.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

If a patient does not have that, then by law, we have to perform resuscitative measures until somebody comes that can um either transport them to the local hospital or they come and are able to pronounce them dead. So anyway, I worked with that and then a couple um of hospice patients as well. But I also learned that, you know, I would rather know what somebody wishes, what they want, you know, especially if it's an elderly person and they have lived their life and you know, or they've been sick and their quality of life's not there anymore, or they're not there mentally, you know, if they have dementia, which my granddaddy did have dementia, and like I said, some of the acute things made it worse, but when you no longer he'd gotten to the point he was weak and he was fallen and there ended up being some broken bones and he couldn't walk anymore. Um, so when you get to that point and your mind and your body fail you, you know, you want to know what they would want when you get to that point. Like, do you want a feeding tube? You know, do you want something breathing for you? You know, if your heart were to stop or you go into this rhythmia or whatever, do you want to be shocked, brought back, you know, CPR, all the things? Like, I'd rather know what somebody's wishes are instead of having to just to decide last minute. And when there are multiple children or people involved and they don't agree, agree, that's when you get to the fun part. Um, and then like I also learned like if somebody's wishes wishes aren't known, and all the children, if there's multiple children, do not agree, like they can't like say if one child wants to just do the formal, like normal burial, but then two of them want to cremate, you know, whatever. All children have to agree. And I did not know that.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Yeah. All of them have to agree. If it's not something that, you know, if you like if you don't have it like written, okay. Yeah. So I after this, I went ahead. Um, I mean, of course, you know, you have to do things like pick out the casket if they are a traditional burial. You know, pick out the casket, which can range from like say 1,700 to probably 10,000. Yeah. Um, and then you have to decide if you want to vault, if you don't want to vault. Some cemeteries require a vault. I was gonna say, I didn't know I I thought everybody had to have one. I didn't know that until you told me. Nope, some cemeteries require a vault, some don't. Um, so that's kind of like I guess your preference. Um, the service. Do you want just a private family service? Do you want a service at all? Do you want visitation and then a funeral service? Do you want it split in two days? Do you want it in one day?

SPEAKER_06 19:02

I think the best thing is is in one day. When my dad died, we did it, we did it all in one day.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

And some people choose to have a private family ceremony, some decide to do just the small part of the cemetery, you know, small private family um thing at the cemetery instead of the whole, you know, funeral ordeal at a church, chapel, funeral home. Um, and then some decide, you know, not to do anything at all. Especially you see that with, you know, creation, they decide to go and just do whatever, you know, with the ashes. Some people make their wishes known as far as we want our our I want my ashes spread, you know, here or there, yonder, whatever. Um the songs, you know, yeah, three, four songs to play at the funeral. Um, who's gonna speak or perform, you know, whatever the funeral, what preacher, pastor, whatever. And then if they were a member of a church, not a member of a church, you know, was there any kind of figure like that that was a part of their life? Um, getting all the family information together. Where were the parents born? Where was the person who passed away born? Um, who's all left in the remaining family, who's already passed away in the I mean it was just this is a lot. And so I ended up going by the funeral home and picking up like the information that they had on the services, on the types of um funerals that you could have. Um, and it had all the price information on there. I went ahead and asked them to go ahead and give me the forms as far as like the obituary and all that information that had to be gathered. Um, so I took that on the evening after he passed away. I went over to my grandmother's house with my mom and her sister, my grandmother, whoever was there, and went ahead and filled all that information out before we went to the funeral home because I mean it's a lot of information, and if you don't have any of that, then you're gonna be sitting there for hours on when you do go to make arrangements. So I went and did all of that so we were a little more prepared the day that we did go. Um and then um he didn't have anything as far as his wishes when he was in the hospital afterwards or you know, anything. None of that was written down. Um he had uh um asked my mama several years ago, she's the baby. He had asked her years and years ago to not put him in a nursing home. So luckily we didn't. didn't get to that point. I did have to do some calling around and check on things like that before because I knew that he would not be able to go back to the living arrangement that he had previously when he came out of the hospital. And I was really shocked, even being a nurse, when I called and found out like the financial stuff and all with insurance, um uh nearly floored me and made me more realize it doesn't matter if you have money. Um, if you do have money and you have to go in the nursing home, you know, forever how long before you pass away, pretty much all your money is gonna go to the nursing home. Your family's not gonna get it. Um It's insane, y'all. Yeah. If you don't have money and you do qualify for Medicaid on top of your Medicare, um, then they're gonna take everything when you if you qualify for Medicaid, because you can't have over a certain amount in the bank. I know it's under like $2,000. Um, any land, house, anything like that, they can come in and take. And used to in the past, when I was out talking to patients, whatever, you never really saw that at Mississippi. Oh, now you do. The Medicaid will will come in and they will um take those houses.

SPEAKER_06 23:27

So tell them about Colin Marks, how much it was there.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Yeah, that was the only one I called. I called the county, I mean the county that he lived in, um, you just because it was local to my mom and her siblings, and it would be more, you know, convenient for people to go visit, um, see and visit, feed him, you know, whatever, all the things. Um, and I called, and if you I just said, you know, he has Medicare, don't have Medicaid, can you kind of tell me what we're looking at, you know, money-wise, whatever. And he was like, Well, my honest opinion is y'all need to, once somebody gets power returning, you need to apply for Medicaid, whatever, which he had done years ago, but he made like ten dollars too much. And during all this, I saw what he drew, you know, as far as social security, retirement, things like that. And then when I called, um, and she said it's runs about 7,000 a month.

SPEAKER_06 24:30

I mean, y'all, what are people supposed to do? Like, that is absolutely insane. I mean, who who I just blew my mind to?

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Like, I don't know a whole lot of single individual people who make that a month on their own. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 24:46

Period. While they're young and working, like yeah, that is a that is a ton of freaking money. Like um Well, and Amber was the one having to go. I I'm I'm saying this too to let to let y'all know, before he went into the hospital, Amber was the one having to go. He was literally falling every other day and could not get up. Every day. And and yeah, well, yeah, every and Amber was the one having to go and pick him up off the floor, redress his wounds. I mean, and as soon as she got him, you know, and of course his I'm sure Amber won't want me saying this. I mean, of course his underwear and his clothes were sold from laying there overnight. Amber had to go and un you know, undress, redress, clean him up, dress his wounds. Amber was having to do this uh uh along with everything else she does, you know, her demanding job, her busy job, having, you know, having a kid from I mean all of this because you know, he doesn't make enough to or I mean he doesn't make enough to qualify for Medicaid. The freaking nursing home is a gold mine too much. I mean, y'all, what are some like this is insane. Like, I don't understand what are some people supp people supposed to do?

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Like, I did uh, you know, being a nurse or not. Well, yeah, my grandparents like I don't did not mind at all. And the thing was it wasn't that he lived like right next door, like he's yes, he it it took me probably um well if I was driving normally, it would probably take me about 45 minutes. I was gonna say 45 minutes to get to where he lives. Um, and then thankfully my brother, each time that I went, my brother and my mom um also came or like the first day when I had to go, and I was just kind of like, because his phone didn't work anymore. His little elderly friend. Um well I say elderly, she still drives and things, but um, she doesn't know how to work her cell phone real well, so usually it would be all, so I couldn't get in contact, and we had been to he had been to the um emergency room the day before. And so I was just gonna go assess his legs, re you know, change the dressings, things like that. Well then it comes out to be in like total care. Thankfully, my brother, um, my little brother was there and able to help me when I needed, like, hey, go fill this up with hot water, put me some soap in there, um, get me towels, get me this, do that. You know, he was right there to help me and get the things that I needed when I'm down on the floor doing all this. And then my mom and my aunt, they're more they won't mind me saying this, but they're like, they're more the type, like, if he said no or if he didn't want them to do it, they're not gonna do it. I'm not. I'm more like him. We're gonna do this, I'm about to do this. This is what I'm doing. Whatever. I'm about to wash your legs, I'm about to trim your toenails, I'm about to put some socks on. Um what put an ointment on your legs so that they don't break down. This is what we gotta do when we're doing it. Um, you know, I'm about to change your pants. We're about to do this, and so anyway, my brother was right there and he helped me, and I I would ask him or say, I'm about to do this, or I'm gonna do this, or do you want me to do this? And he's like, We're gonna do what you want to anyway, so you might as well go ahead and do it. Like, yeah, you know, he was he was irritated because he was having to have it done. But this is one of the days also he didn't know who I was. So I cut his hair, um, trimmed his beard. I did not have the electric razor. I had taken um just a razor and some shaving cream, and I was going to attempt it, but bless his heart, he had lost so much weight, and his face was so small, and I was scared that I was gonna cut him, so I wasn't brave enough to do that that day. So I just trimmed up his beard, and he was like, I didn't I I didn't know you went to beauty school. I was like, Yep, sure did. He was like, Yeah, and he said, Uh, you gotta shop in in March, don't you? Your own shop. I said, I sure do. He said, I've been there. I said, Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:01

We saw air block, probably. I mean he was just he don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

He was having a day. And I was like, Yep, I did go to beauty school because before he was like, Are they paying you to do this? And I was like, No, I'm just coming to do it. Because of course he didn't recognize me as his granddaughter. Yeah, and um, I was like, I'm just doing it. He's like, You just you just um help people or want to help people like I do, or you know, whatever. Yeah, and um, and then about the hair, I and I I had told my mom then, which is harder for people who not aren't in healthcare to know that when you do have somebody in dementia, just go along with them. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about trying to try to correct them, that's right. Or set them straight or argue, just go along with them, they don't know any different. Uh uh. And it's not that you're lying, but just when like he, you know, there's no point beauty school thing. Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. So anyway, I trimmed up his little hair, gave him his honey bun. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Uh-huh. He had him a good old honey bun and um had him clean clothes on, all the things. But um, we had his funeral yesterday. I had talked to um we had his oldest nephew, um, which he has one sister left, but all his brothers um had passed on before him. You know, he would have been 90 in August. Um so he has one sister left. But his oldest nephew came um from downtown, and he had um spoken at my great uncle's, which was my granddaddy's brother, at his funeral and just like read the obituary things like that. So we had him do that, and then um we had a um preacher that they had, you know, agreed on, whatever, that did the funeral. Well, I had told my friend that's the funeral director um that works at the funeral home. I said, I'm gonna try to speak between the two of them. I said, like, I don't know if I'll be able to. Don't know what it's gonna be like that morning, you know, whatever, but I'm gonna try. I didn't know if I'd be able to keep my composure. Um, so didn't tell anybody else. So I'd been thinking about it all week since we had a little longer. Um, with the family being out of town and you know, since the funeral wasn't on Saturday, and I I had had time to think. I had written some things down, but I knew that I was the type that I'll I don't like breeding things when I'm speaking. So and I don't like speaking, period. Um did not love speech, hated it. I'm not good with eye contact while I'm speaking. Not either. Um, and I ramble. So when um the first guy got done, and I got him sitting in between my parents, I'm sure they're like, What is she doing? So anyway, he just kind of nodded when he got done, and I got up there and spoke. Um and I just told everybody, I said normally there's no way on earth I would have been able to do this. Um, I was like, I just say the good Lord and Papa were with me. Um, and I always think that cardinals are like a sign from heaven or whatever while I was on the way to the funeral home too. I may have been driving a little bit past. Um, and right before I got there, a cardinal like swooped down, almost hit my truck, but it like swooped down at the side of my truck and flew back up, and I was like, hmm, I see you, Papa. So anyway, slowed down a little bit, um, got there, but I was able to get up and speak, and there was only one part that I kind of teared up and cried a little bit when I was talking about my niece and I and something we had done with my granddaddy. Um, and then I was able to, you know, get it together and finish. Um But anyway, I was proud of myself because never never, never, never in a million years would I thought I'd been able to, but I did. Um and I know he would have been he would have been proud. And then my mom and I also um on Thursday we went up to our normal um florist thing in um Memphis where we get our flowers and picked up picked out flowers on Thursday um that we wanted to use and that was kind of we kind of felt like that was our last way to honor him. We did his um flowers for his casket piece, and then the pieces that went on you know each end of the casket, we displayed those with his um two of his like electric guitars. So anyway, but it I was very proud it all turned out really pretty, and I think he would have been proud of us and honored that we did that for him. Um, because I can hear him just saying, My girls did that, you know, or that was my cause my mom there at the end, you know, he was always like, She's what I can count on, you know, whatever. And when it would be her being my brother there taking care of him or doing things or whatever, she was like, Yeah, you know, he was like, I see, you know, I see you and your kids and who's taking care of me, who's doing this, who's doing that. Yeah. So anyway, I was glad that we were able to do all of that for him and there at the end.

SPEAKER_06 34:35

Um, so okay, I have to put y'all own to one of my favorite places, and it's the Honeybee coffee cupboard. I'm there literally every morning. It's part of my routine at this point. Latte and egg bites in hand before I can function. The coffee is amazing, the atmosphere is so welcoming, and it's just one of those local spots that you end up loving real quick. And listen, if you haven't tried their cupcakes of the week yet, what are you even doing with your life? They switch flavors and they are dangerously good. They have several different breakfast options to choose from. And I use the online ordering and order ahead every morning, so my order is ready when I get there. So whether you're local or not, stop by Honey Bee Coffee Cupboard, grab your coffee, try a cupcake and the breakfast, and tell them I sent you. Well, one thing too that Amber, you know, had had brought up was that um, you know, like he had no power of attorney, and you know, like they couldn't they couldn't get into his like bank account to get like anything done. And you know, she was like, that's this is one thing that you know I'm making sure like I'm telling my mom, like they're hat they're gonna have this in order.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

And we still can't like that and and that wasn't the well it yeah, you know, that that wasn't the point at all. It wasn't like he was a very well-off individual, but no, but that little bit could have, you know, gone toward something. I don't know what they do if nobody claims it, I guess it just goes to the bank or whatever. But like, for example, make sure you have that stuff in order. Like, yeah, there was nobody on his bank account with him. There was there's no kind of clause um as to like a payable upon death or anything like that. So, and like I said, there wasn't a whole lot in there, and it's not anything that you know that would be worth pursuing. It would probably cost more to get an attorney and to go and do that because you would have to go um get I just went blank, but you have to be like named um what is it, probate or whatever, go through all that, the estate or whatever, and be made or named the executor, and then you have to go with that once you've done it with attorney and it's been filed or whatever with court, um, or whatever you call that step. You have to take that plus the death certificate to the bank and whatever. I said, you know, they're not gonna go get an attorney and do all that because it you know, it wouldn't worth it anyway, but just have somebody on your account with you. Yeah. Or, you know, just put your make your wishes known, you know, put that stuff in a writing. You can just get like a power of attorney. Um, I can't remember the law in Mississippi, you may have to have two witnesses to sign it, or either maybe one, and then it'd be notarized. I can't remember if it's one or the other or both. Um, and it's not like it's a big like you can print one out online. Yeah, oh yeah. A simple little statement saying, I want this, I want that, I I don't want this, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it would make it so much easier on your family.

SPEAKER_06 38:09

You have to have it notarized or whatever, but anybody anybody can, I mean, you can take it to the courthouse and notarize it. Or, you know, for me, Mama and Jen can notarize it. But I mean, like, I know that we're that we're young. Well, I think we're young. Now, our kids think we're old, but honestly, 40 is like the new 60. It really is. That's what my therapist says. Everybody says that. Work I say 60 is the new 40. Do I? 60 is the new 40. That's what I meant to say. I said that all backwards, y'all. You don't know what I meant. But like, I mean, seriously, like you never know.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

We've had very young friends. That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah. You don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:44

Tomorrow is not promised. And like, so seriously, like, that's why I put in my little death wish book, like, I mean, I have the by the way, it is it is lost. Like, I cannot find it. I'm I It's gone. Like, ever since this whole ordeal, like when Amber was like, okay, I I seriously like your death book, like, I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. It really is a good idea. It is lost, and I I'm gonna tell you what I think happened. And when Chris listens to this podcast, he'll be like, that is not what happened to it. But I'm pretty sure in one of him and Atlie's like cleaning out of our extra room, it got thrown away. Because I have searched and searched and searched, and I can't find it. So I think it got thrown away. But that's okay because I have been on Amazon like personalizing um a new one that says like in my own little funky font. Funky font. That's what I said. Oh, Brittany's Death Wish book. But like I have the songs that I want played at my funeral. I mean, like I have the people that I want to speak at my funeral, like, like I have Amber. I've told y'all before, like I have Amber has certain instructions as to what I want to wear. Like I need my nails done, like I need my hair like this, like no fatty pictures on there. Like, even like this is funny. Hang on, where where did I put it? It's um like I don't don't have like don't have these bitches that didn't like me coming up here uh trying to cry over my casket. No, you shoe them on down the line. You look at her. Or look at me. Yeah, I don't even want them looking at me. They didn't if they didn't like me and they talked about me, get them on down the line. Mm-mm. I mean, like I have all this, like I have a letter to my kid in there. I mean, like, but another thing I told Amber, I wrote down and I told Amber about like that I didn't really even think about until like yesterday was like, you know, we have to have a password. We have like a thousand passwords these days for everything. And I didn't even really think about it until yesterday, but like, let somebody know where all that like information is. Like, Amber and I know, I don't know if our our husbands probably don't even know, but like I know where Amber's. Like all of Amber's login info to all of her stuff is in the front page of her planner.

SPEAKER_02 40:59

Yeah, and I meant to I meant to um I think it was actually I want to say we had two. But I know it was one. Or and it could have been an older one that was like right after that. But we had two very close, I was thinking they were both young, um people that passed away um two months ago, maybe. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. And then I like I I thought about it, I went through my mind, and I meant to take a picture then and I or sent a text um to me to remind her uh just saying, hey, I do know every month I do list out all of my bills in the current month. Like I list out my bills and I highlight them once they're paid. But in the front of my planner, and I move it to the next year's planner when I have to change. I didn't know you did that. So all of my like the passwords for say my car insurance or to make the house payment or whatever. Like all that, my username, passwords are listed in the front of my planner, so she'll know where they are, when something's new, to check on things. Um, I think she knows my manager's name. Um she knows how to get on my phone. So she knows she would know who to contact, say, for my work to let them know if something happened to me or to let them know, hey, Amber has passed away. So what about my like my life insurance to you know, to things like that? And like it's payable to my husband, but he he probably wasn't. He would never know how to contact him, he would probably be in the right headspace.

SPEAKER_06 42:43

No, he wouldn't know where any of Amber's passwords are to get into anything or to pay anything. And like Amber knows that like mine are in the notes app of my phone. Like I used to keep them, so Amber gets us, like we have, like we still have the old, like the old school book planner. So I'm like a paper pencil person. Yeah, some stuff is in the phone, but I'd rather see it on paper. Yeah, like I can't put no, I can't use the phone as my planner because I never look at it. So Amber gets for I don't know how many years, years and years, Amber gets us the exact same planners every single year for Michaels. And I so I used to keep all my passwords in the front page of it and I would transfer them every year. But then it got to where I may not have to have my planner with me when I had to start something new, so they're all in my notes app. So like I know where Amber's passwords are, she knows where mine.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Yeah, and it's the happy planner, they have some. The best Walmart now, my hobby. I think I saw some stuff at Hobby Lobby the other day. Okay. But it's like the best. They have the different, the smaller one, the bigger one. We could spiral. Yeah, the big ones, you have a lot of room to write, spiral, my happy planner. Um, you it has things where you can add like um it's the spiral bound, so you can add like grocery list pages, notes pages, you know, whatever to it. Um, for extra. But I get those. So I keep all that there. Um, she knows where all the things are. Brett does know or put it, you know, things like the important information that's in our safe as far as when it comes to Gunner, but um the other stuff, he he would probably be lost. So Britney does know where those things are. Yeah, yeah. Um and how to take care of my child, you know, things that things that you need to know. Yeah. Um, if something were to happen. But and then shout out, she we um to Honeybee. My sweet one of my sweet cousins, you know, works there. Yeah. Um, and her and her daughter were there yesterday, and her sister and her dad was one of the pall bears.

SPEAKER_06 44:51

Oh, oh, oh. Well, Susie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, Kayla and Drew own it, and they are they are the best. They um they're one of our sponsors, and they are. Yeah, yeah, I saw her. She's she, I'm telling you, I love her. She always like, well, most of them know exactly what I'm on, but she always does. And um, she waved at me. We she was um I was sitting there with Debbie and them, and I saw her, I saw her walking on.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

And her sweet sister, I I haven't got to look at the book yet, but I know I was kind of in and out during the uh visitation, so I know I miss people, but her sweet sister, which it was live stream, so her sister sent me a message on a few messages yesterday, and she was like, I want you to know that like you did so good, and I'm glad I love the stories that you shared about your granddaddy and our or she said granddaddy's like ours for one in a million or something like that.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Um, because she she doesn't live locally, so that's why I was I was thinking maybe she um watched it.

SPEAKER_06 45:51

But um I wanted to talk about this too because I know we both have talked about this on the podcast, but having kids also changes everything when you think about death because suddenly your brain goes to okay, what if I die, what happens to my kids? Like, what I mean who's gonna like who's I mean, I know you I know we still have husbands, but like who's gonna help them raise them? Uh I do not want a stepmom coming in. Like, I mean, you think about that. There are good stepmamas. I I have been no, I'm not saying that. I know there's lots of good stepmamas out there, but we have both said that.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

Like, I mean, I have I don't want no other heifer coming in here raising my baby.

SPEAKER_06 46:38

And what if they're not a good one? And I mean, like, seriously, I mean, like, who's gonna help who's gonna help rep? I I know, and that's why I always go back to I mean because Chris needs help when you're gonna make it.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

I know he ha like Gunner has you and he has like B fair. But I do go right now, like it gives me hope thinking about um well I mean Chris. B Fair and Caitlin, they have a wonderful relationship when it comes to cash, like it's so taken care of. And I can only hope that if something were to happen to me that Gunner would have somebody like that. But I know that he does have even beefier that are going to take care of him, make sure it ain't no high for comedy. Like, what if something happens to me? Oh, maybe if you give me something, yeah. No stress over it now, but if you got home, that ain't gonna be a worry because you ain't gonna be worried about nothing.

SPEAKER_06 47:31

But I know I'm gonna I'm gonna know I've got you. Yeah, yeah. But you know what I mean? Like, that's just the taking care of. Yeah, but it is a stressor. We were at lunch today, Marionchi and um I better be worried about who would take care of Brett. Yeah, I know. That's what that's what I said. What's gonna happen that's what I meant. Like, what's gonna happen? Oh, I know. Well, that's what okay, so that's what um Friday night, you know, we were letting Atlie practice or whatever, and I was like, Antly, I was like, you do not understand. If something practice driving.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

She didn't she didn't specify what Atlie was doing. Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06 48:08

No, no, no, no, practice, yeah, sorry, practice driving, I'm bad. I was like, Allie, you do not understand. If something happens to you, I die with you. I die with you. And Gunnar was like, that's what mama tells me too, Miss Brittany. I'm like, y'all are all that y'all are it. Like y'all are all we have. If if something happens to y'all, we like literally, we die with y'all. Like, put me in, send me down south of Jackson, because I see it. We're going with y'all. I mean, yeah, you know, but what I was gonna tell you about a little funny was um we were eating at Mariachi and they sat us like back by the bathroom, and Chris Lott walked by and spoke, and Atley was like, Oh, he was she was like, crap, I gotta um, I gotta go talk to be fair before we leave. I was like, Well, what you gotta ask her? You can ask me. She was like, No, I gotta talk to be fair. I was like, oh my god, okay, I'm sorry. And she wasn't with them. And so I texted her, she's like, oh crap, I'm not with them. She was like, Well, tell Atlie, I'm I'm still waiting on that back road. And I was like, Alright, so I told Atley, of course, you know Atlie wouldn't tell me. You know, you know how they are, they're better with you know other Atley wouldn't tell me. She was like, well, tell Atlie to just text me, you know, they're better. I mean, they're better with without our, you know, they're they're better with other parents, right? And she said, tell her I love her. I said, okay, I'll tell her. And she said, I mean, you know, I'm secretly waiting for her to be my daughter-in-law. I mean, I'm they're both so shy, it may take them 14 more years, you know, to ask each other out, but I'm still waiting for her to be my daughter-in-law secretly. And I'm like, yeah, I said, that'd be great if we were all family. I said, but I don't know. I mean, if Atlie's ever, I mean, she just she just doesn't care. You know, she's not worried about that. She's like chance mine either, you know. It is what it is. I she said, but she you have raised such a sweet, respectful young lady. I'm like, who you talking about? Where? Who you talking about? She's like Brittany. I'm like, look. She gives us so much hell at home. I'm like, but hey. You're glad to hear it. Yeah, as long I she can do if she can give me as much as she wants, as long as she likes to act that way for other people, that's all that's all that matters.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

So I know. And I've been meaning to um tell her and Chris because uh Chris or DJ Lott used to have um DJ Lott. A podcast. Um you keep meaning to be fearing Chris what now? Okay. I don't know how that's gonna piece together. Bruni keeps hitting buttons over here. I'll fix it, I'll fix it. I keep meaning to tell them that, like, you know, years ago, Chris, when he was still in his um single life, and I think this was before he had cash, or either cash was a new baby, um, he had a podcast. And um he talked a lot about you know, his DJ life out in Vegas and different things, whatever. Um, which I've known Chris for forever through um Taylor and Courtney, uh, you know, us being friends and going over there, and then my brother and his little brother were like best friends in junior high, high school and stuff. So, like I would have never thought back then that Chris would be the one like giving my child advice or teaching him. He's such a family man, yeah, life lessons and things like that. But now, like, I sorry I'm clicking my shoes around. Um now like the hunter will come in there or he'll just be like randomly telling me something. And he was like sharing with me like this really deep um quote, like and I was like, what? And he I mean I was listening and I was taking it in and you know whatever, and he was like, Yeah, um Chris sent me that. And then he goes into like interpreting it for me into how like how it um resonates with his life and like what he let me go, Chris Lyon. Like what like Gunnar is telling me what it means to him and how he is taking it and how he is applying it to his young life. And I was like, baffled. Well then I was like, okay, yeah, that's that's great. You know, of course I didn't tell I was like, that's really good, you know, whatever, yeah, I get that. Um, because he'll be explaining he gotta be explaining you know, he's 13 years old, but he'll be explaining something to me and be like, Do you understand what I'm saying? You know, like yes, yes, I do. And then it was something else. Um oh tattoos.

SPEAKER_06 53:06

He's gonna get a wolf tattoo one day, guys.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

No, he's not tattooed, like, you know, some people are you know, anti-tattoo, you know, whatever. Um, but some people have all the tattoos, some people have the most random spur of the moment, yeah. Bizarre, like my husband, ignorant, young, dumb, yes, whatever tattoos. Um, and I've always told my child, like, don't get anything stupid. Yes, like, don't get out here and think, I'm 17 years old, I'm grown, I'm gonna go get a hole. No offense. If one of my brother-in-laws listens to this, I doubt they will. But one of them has a dang sponge bob smoking, you know, whatever on their thigh. And I'm like, what in the world? Or like dumb stuff that you have dumb hands as stupid stuff. You know, you're not even 18 years old. You don't know what you're gonna be doing with those hands as an adult when you're actually working, and I don't care. I know that people should not judge people. Um, people should not think any differently about people who we're not judging anybody are tattooed versus not. I'm telling you, as a healthcare professional, when you go when you're in, when you're that patient or when you're in that patient's family, and you're in a hospital room, or you're in a doctor's office, or you're whatever, patients do look at that. And patients do think differently, and I know they shouldn't, but they do.

SPEAKER_06 54:48

Wait, patients think differently.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

If they if somebody tied it up with all this stuff comes in, like elderly people like the nurse thinks differently no, the patients think differently about that nurse or that doctor if they come in and they have tattooed sleeves and whatever, okay. Although they shouldn't, they do, especially our elderly. I mean, yeah. When I was a nursing school or whatever, if we were going to the clinicals, like we had to cover them up. Um, now you know, you don't. And I have been with my elderly grandparents at the hospital, and I mean it's just different in the way they were raised and the way they were thinking, or you know, what they think. Um, and a nurse come in with all that on them, and as soon as that nurse goes out, they're turning and saying something to me. Yeah, you know, and it's not that you give health care or that you're caring for them any differently, but I'm just saying people think differently, and they do judge, although they shouldn't. But as a young person, I encourage you to please hold off, like you think you know everything, whatever, don't get it all visible, whatever, and give it a little time. Like, Chris's word of advice for Gunnar and Channing. I think I'm saying this right, I may not. Chris, sorry if I'm not, but Gunner was like, Chris told me, if I think I want a tattoo, to think about it. I think he said two months, three months, and if I still want it after those two to three months pass, then get it. Yeah. Now, this is you know, he didn't encourage a child to go get a tattoo. You know, he's talking about after you're after you're, you know, older, 18, whatever, you know, whenever you can go get one. Um if you still want it after those two to three months, then go get it. Don't do spur of the moment baloney. Um I mean my husband was going through something, I don't really know what, but he's he went and got three tattoos in one night. Like, yeah. Well, I have nine. He he has four. Yeah, four, I think. Um, but like this come up with Gunner, I think, which he's always like, we used to joke on him because he loved wolves when he was young. Yeah, I was like, he was gonna get that. But he now he's adamant and he's said it for a couple years. He wears three crosses.

SPEAKER_06 57:14

He used to say when he was a little he was getting a wolf tattoo. I mean, I'm just joking about that.

SPEAKER_02 57:19

Yeah, but um anyway, my nephew, his older cousin, who's already 18, had told him that he would this past week that he would take him to get his first tattoo.

SPEAKER_05 57:29

What? Which one? Okay, oh no, no.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

So I don't know how how it was brought up in the conversation when Gunner was with Chris, but he does spend a lot of time with um Gunner. Yes, he he's wonderful, but anyway, him and um shout out to well, her husband, but also Chris Lott. He spends a lot of time, both of the Chris has spend a lot of time and take up a lot of time with my child, in addition to their children. Sorry, I didn't know. But for Chris Lott, he takes up a lot of time with my child, yeah, and with Channing, who is his stepson, who he loves like his own, and I'm so so thankful that my my girl found him. Um both of us and our children. But I am thankful for somebody who does try to direct my child in the right direction, you know, on the right path, and give him advice like this, you know, on things that they think about, but you know, they don't want to hear what their parents have to say, but they have somebody like telling the, you know, telling them and try to make them make good decisions and good choices. Yeah. Which both the boys were at my house this week and they were talking about um what you made on such and such, and how they needed to do this first before they got this kind of license or this kind of degree and whatever. As an adult, I'm like, just go on, keep pour keep pouring into them.

SPEAKER_06 58:53

Yeah, we we knock on wood. And I hope it stays. I hope I'm not jinxing, Lord, I'm not jinxing us, but we do have some really good kids. We really do. Um, there are some in, you know, in our grade that so we yeah, we we do have some really good kids. And you know they are both especially our, I mean, ours are really like they they want to be in church, you know what I mean? Like it comes Sunday morning and and and they're like, okay, all right, you know, but get up. I mean, even if we don't feel like getting up and going, they're like, no, it's Sunday morning, like we go to church, this is what we do. I mean, like, they're they're really good kids. Um so we are very, very thankful for that. And like I said, knock on wood, God, I hope as they get older, especially with them starting to drive soon, I hope I hope that it stays that way.

SPEAKER_02 59:58

Um parents, I was gonna throw this out there. If your child is my child is here, I hear his mouth. Yeah, they're not just coming in from coughing. But um, if your child is 12, 13, 14, whatever years old, um, please still be a parent. Like I know that you should r respect their privacy or whatever. Look at them cell phones. If if they have it set to where you can only get in with their you know, face thing, whatever. See what their alternate password is.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:37

We know our kids' password.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:38

Go in there. I I mean, I don't care if it's when they're gone to sleep. If they didn't if you don't want to ask them to give it to you when they're gone to bed and it's on the charter, go look at that phone.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:47

I ask Atley for hers. I would say give me at any random time, I'll say give me your phone. Go go look at that phone.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

Because this week it is a child that I wouldn't think. But I know boys are boys and kids are kids. And they're gonna do things and they're gonna get to that point and whatever. Go look. I mean, don't be naive. I don't understand it. Don't be just oblivious to the fact that your boy's gonna be a boy. But but teach them to respect girls.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:26

I was just that was coming out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Not be this creep, but this don't be that, don't let them be that guy. Like the things that boys are asking for these young girls, check those homes. 13-year-old check those homes.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:49

Yeah, please. Yeah, yeah. I mean, y'all, I don't I don't see how we don't, especially this. I mean, I and there are ways, I mean, there are ways that you can still have all those messages coming straight to you. You can see everything going on on their phone. I'm just telling y'all. I'm just saying I mean but um yeah, oh shoot, I had something I was gonna. Oh, going back this is sorry, this is going way back to the tattoo situation I was gonna throw in there, but um so my husband and I mean he won't care if I say this. I mean I'm he'll tell you this, but it's beautiful. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:31

I said it's beautiful, his tattoo.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:33

Oh god. And your brothers, but he don't have his anymore, Daddy. Oh my god. Let me just let me give y'all another piece of advice. If y'all have, if y'all have if if there's any young, if there's any young kids listening, or if you have young kids, just just please please stress to them. Don't don't go get a just because you're underage, don't, don't go get a tattoo from a crackhead and Curtis.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

Don't hate on Curtis.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:58

It can be don't go get on tattoo at nobody's house. I I'm not hating on crack. Girl, I grew up right there at Curtis.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

Don't go get on tattooing at nobody's house.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:06

We'll be riding a curse all the time. It don't have to be Kurt. I I'm just I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

It didn't even gotta be a crackhead. Don't get it on tattoo at nobody's case.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:13

Don't get on tattoo at nobody's house, especially if I'm a crackhead. That is not what my husband did. I'm just saying some people have done that.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

But um tattoo removal's not cheap.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:23

No, it ain't, and it's not fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:24

It's not fun, it's painful.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:26

But uh my husband was very rebellious. Um he uh he did he did get a tattoo at 18 just because he could, because he was 18. So on the on his the middle of his back, he has the Maciok emblem, you know, like the the deer skull with the horns coming out. And it hurt so bad. I I sat there and watched him with that woman was killing him. It was so funny. But of course now he hates it. And I did not get a tattoo until I was 33. I mean, I just have a little a little small one on my wrist, and I never like I never really wanted a tattoo because I wanted some if I was gonna get something on my body, I wanted it to be meaningful and have purpose and like a reason to get it. And so I was at like a turning point, I guess, when I was 33 and I was moving forward, and anyway, long story short, I I have pa I have Psalm 46.5. My my mouth is so dry. Psalm 46.5 on my arm and an arrow. And it just means God is within her, she will not fall, and then arrow just represents moving forward and not looking back in the past, protection against evil, all that stuff. So I did not get one just on the spur of a moment or out of rebellion or anything like that. So I yeah, I just thought I'd throw that in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:46

I I don't remember how old Brett was when he got that one, but this was in an air while everybody was getting their last names on their back. So I know a lot of people who have them. Um, several of our friends and my brother, my husband, a bunch of them have um their last name in old English font, whatever, yeah, across the back, like from shoulder blade to shoulder blade across the top of their back. Um, so that was his first one and the only one he had for a while. And then the ones that he went and got, he has um cards and dice right here on his side, like on his ribcage, and it says, um Life's a gamble, I think. And then he has our son's name on his finger, and then he has on his over his heart over here, he has a outline that was a picture of him walking, holding Gunner's hand when Gunnar was small. Um, like when they were hunting, it's like a picture of them holding hands side by side um on his chest, and then like the heartbeat below it. Um, so he got those three in one night, and the other one he's had a long time, but I don't have any. Um I Thought about it. I just haven't. I can't remember. You were going to go. I was gonna get one on my foot.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:05

Yeah, I was gonna go with you and get that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:07

I can't remember now what I think it may have said he walks with me. Or yeah, I think I think on um just in a script, like on the side of my foot.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:15

Well, if I get another one, yeah, she's going with me and she's gonna get another one on her four. He walks with me or something. Um, but no, I don't know. If I ever get another one, if I ever decide to get another one, she's going with me. She's gonna get that on her foot because it would be really cute. And nobody could ever see it, and it would be be meaningful.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:31

My sister was my sister-in-law was going through something a couple weeks ago, so she messaged, uh, well, I don't know that she was going through anything. I think it was just kind of spare of the moment. She texts, Brett was like, Hey, what you doing tonight? And uh was kind of like, you want to go get a tattoo? And I was like, he he told me that she was wanting to go, and then I texted, I was like, What are you trying to get? And she was like, I don't know. And I was like, Okay, sis, okay, sis. Let's sit with us a minute, let's think about, let's think about this. Let's sit with our feet. If you don't, okay, you've questioned your hair, getting it chopped, because it's like um below the waist length now. Getting your hair chopped, um, something else. She posted, and then that saying that about getting a tattoo. Like, within two days. I was like, I think you're going through something, so like maybe that's not the best idea right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:29

Let's put your little powder on the paws here.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:31

Maybe we should just maybe I should just go to dinner instead of going to get tattooed. There we go. Maybe so. That's a good idea. Yeah. And so, you know, sometimes you kind of have to talk people down.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:39

Talk them, yeah. Especially me. Amber has to reel me in, talk me down a good bit. Yeah. I think I've gotten better.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:45

Yeah, you have.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:46

You've gotten very much better.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:47

Yeah. Um, but sometimes you just know that it's something like something's off, somebody's feeling a certain type of way, something's going on. So let's take a little less aggressive approach. Let's take a little pause. Yeah, practice. Practice the pause. Yeah, practice the pause and yep. Do a little something else before you go and um pull the trigger on something that you can't, you know, take back or change right off.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:14

And kind of in closing, this is off of all that, but I want to say this, um, and I need to make a post about it, but I have not posted in the private hinge Facebook group in a while because we need interaction. Like there's there's no interaction in that group. Um, nobody, you know, when I have posted, nobody interacts. And um, and we need some interaction in that group. Um, so I I have some questions that I would love to challenge y'all with to see if anybody will post uh in that group. So, um, and you and even you don't even have to, I mean, if you don't want to answer these in the group, um, then you you could you could write in to us. Um you could you could go to the fan mail link um right there on the the purple app the Apple podcast and send it in. You could um write it in to the email at allgmail26.com. A little gmail. What did I say? Oh y'all, y'all know I'm a little unhinged, so let me start that over. You could email it into a little unhinged26 at gmail.com. But we would love to have some interaction in the private Facebook group. Um, so I want to ask, am I the only one? Or does I want to ask, does anyone else have a death wish book? Um, you don't have to call it that.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:51

You can you don't have to say my final wish, you're like your final wishes, or does anybody have like nothing? You got it written down because I've told all my folks y'all gonna write it down. Yeah, it's no book paper for me because if I'm gonna be the only one here, the only one dealing with this stuff, y'all are gonna tell me which one. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:06

Yes, and like another, so like another thing that we would love to know. What is one thing that your family would never figure out without you? Just one thing. And could your this is kind of funny, um, could your spouse survive your household systems without you? We would love those three questions. I'm gonna challenge y'all to post those in the Facebook group or to send them in. I would love for y'all to post them in the Facebook group. That that would be awesome. Um, but if y'all don't want to post them there, you can send them um to the fan mail on the out on the podcast app uh on the Apple Podcast or you can write them in to the email. But I would love for y'all to post them in the private Facebook. That would be that would be so awesome. But um, so also before we go, y'all. They are so I'm so sorry. They are so loud downstairs. I know y'all can hear Anita down there talking. They are so loud, I'm so sorry. But before we go, we do have um a little unhinged story that we'll read to y'all. Um, Amy, you want to read it? Because my mouth is so dry.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:30

And I, a little unhinged, for pretending I didn't see my husband loading the dishwasher wrong because I was too tired to argue. But then secretly reloaded it the entire thing at midnight after he went to bed. And before y'all judge me, this man put a cast iron skillet in the dishwasher like he was trying to erase our entire seasoning history. Now every time he says I help with the dishes, I have to decide if I want peace or properly cleaned cups. And another quick one because this feels very um.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:04

Oh no, that was yeah, you're good. That was the end of it. Not every now every time, now every time he says I help with the dishes, I have to decide if I'm with that. Oh, that's fine. Okay. I don't think I look, what do you think? If he loads the dishes, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:20

Oh my baby plays the dishwasher, let him load it. Now I would go get the cast iron skillet out.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you don't wash those. I'm not rearranging. Heck no, I'm not either.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:28

No push put your stuff in there and push start and go on about your business.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:31

Yep, let him wash. You let him wash. So if y'all want to answer, I would I we would love for y'all to answer that question too. If your husband loans the dishwasher and he loads it wrong, are y'all going to uh unload and reload or are y'all letting that ride? Y'all please, y'all please answer those questions. Um, so the three the questions are do you have a death wish book? Um, what is the one thing that your family would never figure out without you? And uh, oh, could your husband could could your spouse survive the household without you? Um we hope that y'all enjoyed this. We and we enjoy doing it very we we really much enjoy doing these podcasts for y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:18

Um and we my dad now thinks that a video period is a podcast. So he he fussed up Britney at the funeral home for doing podcasts. Why don't you just drive him down the road? And she was like, That isn't that's not a podcast. Yeah, he he he's not tech savvy in here.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:35

Well, until you like I am watching the road, like I have the phone in my little holder. He knows, he knows she needs no distractions, yes, zero. Yes, he was like, You gotta quit podcasting. I'm like, okay, Ken, okay, I got you, I got you. But um also, if this episode convinced even one person, like to go to get your crap together, yes, yes, to get it, to get it together, write down your password, whatever, write down the song you want at your funeral, like whatever, then hey, we have done our job. So, hey, go hug somebody you love and maybe make a folder with your life insurance information. But um, that's all we have for today, guys. And I hope that y'all enjoyed it. I've said that a hundred times. Um, because I can't even remember what I'm supposed to say at the end. But be sure to follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, wherever you listen. Please leave us a rating because it helps us so much. Um, and you can find us on our private Facebook, uh, Instagram, TikTok, both at a little unhinged26.com. Please come join us in the private uh Facebook, Facebook, Facebook community, and um we'll start over sharing on there. We'll start I mean if if if y'all will come and you know communicate and interact, we'll start sharing stuff that we don't talk about on here. We love y'all. Um stay stainish and until we meet again on a little long hinge. We love y'all. Love y'all, bye.