When People Become Products

How Consumer Culture Changed the Way We Love

What if the biggest problem with modern dating isn't dating at all?

What if we've slowly begun treating people like products—comparing, evaluating, upgrading, and replacing—instead of loving them the way God intended?

In this thought-provoking episode of Beyond Belief, we explore how consumer culture has quietly reshaped the way we approach dating, friendships, marriage, and even our relationship with God. Through Scripture and the life of Jesus, we discover a radically different vision of love—one built on covenant rather than consumption, self-giving rather than self-serving, and grace rather than performance.

Whether you're single, dating, engaged, married, or simply longing for healthier relationships, this episode will challenge the way you see people and inspire you to love more like Christ.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why modern dating often leaves people feeling empty.
 • How consumer culture has influenced our relationships.
 • The difference between consumer love and Christ-like love.
 • What Genesis reveals about God's original design for relationships.
 • How Jesus treated people with dignity, compassion, and grace.
 • Three practical shifts that can transform the way you love.

Key Takeaway:
"People were never created to be consumed. They were created to be loved."

If this episode encouraged you, consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who needs this message.

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Scripture References
Genesis 1–2 • John 13:34–35 • John 15:13 • Romans 5:8 • 1 Corinthians 13 • Ephesians 5 • Philippians 2:1–11 • 1 John 4:7–21

#BeyondBelief #ChristianPodcast #ChristianDating #BiblicalRelationships #Faith #Jesus #ChristianLiving #Discipleship #Relationships #BiblicalWorldview

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

What if one of the greatest problems facing our relationships today has nothing to do with dating? What if the real problem is the way we've learned to see people? Because I think something has quietly happened, not overnight, not because anyone planned it, not because we're more selfish than previous generations, but because we've spent years being shaped by a culture that teaches us to consume almost everything. We consume entertainment, we consume news, we consume music, we consume experiences, we consume content. Every day we're surrounded by one message. If there's something better, go and get it. A newer phone, a better deal, a faster car, a bigger house, a more exciting experience. We're constantly told that satisfaction is always just one upgrade away. And after hearing that story long enough, something subtle begins to happen. We don't just shop for things anymore. We begin to shop for people. Think about it. We swipe, we evaluate, we compare, we keep our options open. We ask ourselves, can I do better? Is there someone who's better fit? What if I commit too soon? Those questions sound normal today, almost responsible. But beneath those questions is a much deeper one we rarely stop to ask. Have we slowly started treating people like products? Because products exist to serve us. Products are evaluated, compared, reviewed, returned, replaced, upgraded, disposed of. People were never created for that. People were created to be loved. And maybe that's why so many people today feel surrounded by connection, get starved for intimacy. We've never had more ways to meet people, yet loneliness continues to rise. We've never had more conversations, yet so few people feel truly known. We've never had more choices. Yet we've become terrified of choosing. What if our problem isn't that we've forgotten how to date? What if we've forgotten how to love? Because long before there was dating, before engagement drings, before wedding venues, before dating apps, before relationship advice, there was a God who created human beings in his own image. Not as consumers, not as competitors, not as commodities, but as people worthy of dignity, worthy of honor, worthy of love. And somewhere along the way, we forgot. Today, I want to invite you on a journey. Not into another conversation about dating, but into something much deeper. A conversation about how consumer culture has quietly reshaped the way we see one another, and how Jesus invites us to recover something far more beautiful. Because I believe the moment people stop becoming products, love becomes possible again. Welcome to Beyond Belief, the place where we move beyond shallow faith, beyond cultural Christianity, and beyond the stories the world tells us to discover the deepest story God has been telling from the very beginning. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're driving to work, walking through the neighborhood, sitting quietly with a cup of coffee, or listening because something in your heart has been longing for more. Thank you for spending this time with me. Because today's conversation isn't really about dating, it's about becoming the kind of person who loves the way Jesus loves. And I think that's a conversation every one of us needs. So, how did we get here? Because I don't think anyone wakes up one morning and decides, I'm going to treat people like products. None of us would say that. In fact, most people genuinely want healthy relationships. We want to be known. We want to be loved. We want to find someone we can build a life with. So, how did we end up here? I think the answer is simpler than we realize. We were discipled. Now, when we hear the word discipleship, we usually think about church, reading Bible, prayer, following Jesus. But discipleship simply means being shaped by something. And whether we realize it or not, every culture is discipling us. Every advertisement, every movie, every algorithm, every social media platform, every influencer, every television show is telling us a story about what life should look like. Stories shape beliefs. Beliefs shape habits. Habits shape character. And eventually, character shapes our lives. The story our culture tells us is remarkably consistent. You deserve the best. Never settle. Keep your options open. There's always something better. If you're unhappy, replace it. If it gets old, upgrade it. If it disappoints you, find another one. That message makes perfect sense when you're buying a washing machine. It makes sense when you're shopping for a laptop or comparing insurance quotes or choosing between two restaurants. Because products exist to serve us. The better product wins. But here's the problem. Without realizing it, we've started applying that same way of thinking to people. Imagine meeting someone for coffee. Halfway through the conversation, you quietly stand up, you smile politely and say, I'm sorry, I just found someone online with better reviews. It sounds ridiculous. Because it is. And yet, isn't that what often happens? Maybe not in those words, but with that mindset. We're constantly wondering, could I do better? Is there someone more attractive? Someone funnier? Someone more successful? Someone who understands me more. And suddenly, instead of seeing a human being sitting across from us, we're comparing them to a list of possibilities that only exist in our imagination. Comparison has become so normal that we rarely notice we're doing it. And comparison is exhausting. Because there will always be someone wealthier, someone funnier, someone more accomplished, someone more adventurous, someone who seems to have a more exciting life. If comparison becomes your compass, contentment will always remain just out of reach. A few years ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop. There was this young couple at the table next to me. They weren't arguing, they weren't laughing, they weren't talking much at all. Both of them were scrolling through their phones. Every few seconds, one of them would smile, not because of something the other person said, but because of something happening somewhere else. That picture stayed with me. Because I wondered, how many of us are physically present while emotionally absent? How many conversations are interrupted by the possibility that something more interesting might happen on a screen? We've become incredibly connected. But connection isn't the same as presence. And presence isn't the same as intimacy. Intimacy requires attention. It requires listening. It requires slowing down long enough for another person to feel seen. Maybe that's why loneliness is growing in a world that's more connected than ever. We've mastered access, but we've forgotten presence. There's another lie we've started believing. It's the idea that somewhere out there there's a perfect person. The one, the person who will finally complete us. And when we believe that story, every relationship becomes an audition. We are no longer asking, could I love this person well? Instead, we're asking, could there be someone even better? That's a dangerous question. Not because wisdom doesn't matter. Wisdom absolutely matters. Character matters, faith matters, shared values matter. But there's a difference between discernment and perpetual dissatisfaction. One asks, is this wise? The other asks, can I upgrade? Those are not the same question. I wonder if that's why commitment feels so frightening today. Not because we don't want love, but because commitment closes other doors. And consumer culture hates closed doors. It wants infinite options, infinite choices, infinite possibilities. But here's the irony: love only grows when someone's willing to stop shopping. A gardener doesn't plant a seed and then digs it up every week to see if another field might produce better fruit. No, he stays, he waters, he waits, he cultivates. Growth takes time. Relationships do too. And maybe that's part of what we've forgotten. We've confused excitement with depth, chemistry with character, attention with affection, choice with commitment. But the deepest relationships in our lives aren't built by people who never had other options. They're built by people who chose to remain. Consumer culture teaches us to keep looking for someone better. Jesus teaches us to become someone better. And that changes everything. So, if this is the story our culture has been telling us, what story has God been telling all along? Because if we're ever going to recover the beauty of real love, we can't begin with dating apps. We can't begin with relationship advice. We have to begin where Jesus always began, at the beginning. Because before the world taught us to consume people, God showed us how to love them. When Jesus wanted people to understand the heart of God, he almost always took them back to the beginning. Not because the beginning is old, but because the beginning reveals God's original intention. If you want to understand what something is for, you don't start with how it's being used today. You go back to the one who designed it. So let's go back. Not to our first relationship, not to our first heartbreak, not to our first date. Let's go all the way back to Genesis. The opening pages of Scripture are breathtaking. God speaks and light bursts into existence. He forms oceans, mountains, trees, stars scattered across the heavens. Everything he creates carries beauty, purpose, order. And after each act of creation, he says the same words. It is good. Again and again and again. Then something remarkable happens. For the very first time, God says something is not good. It is not good for the man to be alone. Think about that. Adam wasn't surrounded by sin. He wasn't burdened with debt. He wasn't overwhelmed by anxiety. He wasn't scrolling social media wondering what everyone else was doing. He walked with God. He lived in a perfect world. And still, God said, It is not good for him to be alone. Why? Because relationship wasn't invented by humanity, it began in the heart of God. We worship a relational God. The Father loves the Son. The Son glorifies the Father. The Holy Spirit reveals them both. Before there was ever a human relationship, there was perfect relationship within God Himself. So when God created humanity in his image, love wasn't an accessory. Relationship wasn't an afterthought. It was woven into who we are. Then notice what God creates. He doesn't give Adam another assignment. He doesn't create a bigger garden. He doesn't hand him more responsibility. That's profound. Because from the very beginning, God's answer to isolation wasn't achievement. It was relationship. And when Adam first sees Eve, his response isn't, finally, someone who can make me happy. It isn't, here's someone who can meet all my needs. It isn't, here's someone who completes me. Instead, there is wonder, recognition, joy. He sees another human being, made in the image of God, someone with dignity, someone worthy of honor, someone worthy of love. That is a very different picture from the one our culture often paints. Because consumer culture says, What value does this person add to my life? God asks, Can you see my image in them? Those questions lead to completely different relationships. One asks, How can this person serve me? The other asks, How can I serve them? One treats people as resources, the other treats them as sacred. Then the story changes. Sin enters the world, and the first casualty is relationship. Adam and Eve hide. They cover themselves, they blame each other. Shame replaces openness. Fear replaces trust. Self-protection replaces self-giving love. Isn't it interesting? The first instinct after sin wasn't to move towards one another, it was to hide. And if we're honest, we still do exactly the same thing. Maybe we don't hide behind trees. Maybe we hide behind carefully edited versions of ourselves, behind achievements, behind confidence, behind humor, behind busyness, behind filters, behind perfectly crafted social media profiles. Because deep down, we're afraid. Afraid that if someone truly knew us, they might decide we aren't enough. So we perform, we impress, we manage our image, we become marketers, selling the best version of ourselves. But here's the tragedy. If people only ever know the version we've manufactured, they can never truly love the person we actually are. No wonder so many people feel unseen. We've been loved for our performance instead of being known. But then, God has something extraordinary. He doesn't abandon humanity, he moves towards them. He calls. And from that moment on, the whole story of Scripture becomes the story of a God who keeps moving towards broken people, towards Abraham, towards Moses, towards David, towards prophets, towards exiles, and finally towards us in Jesus. Look at the way Jesus treated people. He never asked, What can I get from them? He asked, How can I reveal my father's love to them? He sat with tax collectors everyone else avoided. He touched lepers everyone else feared. He defended the woman caught in adultery when everyone else wanted to condemn her. He welcomed children society overlooked. He restored Peter after his great failure. Again and again, Jesus refuses to reduce people to their usefulness. He always saw the person behind the label, the image bearer behind the brokenness. And nowhere is that more beautiful than at the cross. The cross is the complete opposite of consumer love. Consumer love says, What can I gain? Jesus says, What can I give? Consumer love protects itself. Jesus stretches out his hands. Consumer love walks away when the cost becomes too high. Jesus stays. Consumer love says, You owe me. Jesus says, It is finished. The cross forever changed the definition of love. Love isn't finding someone who meets all your expectations. Love is willingly laying down your life for another. That's what Jesus did for you, for me, for every person we'll ever meet. The cross proves that people are never products to be consumed. They are image bearers worth dying for. And once you've seen love like that, it's impossible to keep looking at people the same way. So what does that actually look like? How do we live differently in a world that tells us every day to consume, compare, upgrade, and move on? Because the gospel never leaves us with inspiration alone, it always invites us into transformation. And that is where the story becomes personal. So, where does that leave us? Because it's one thing to recognize a problem, it's another thing entirely to live differently. Maybe as you've been listening today, you've recognized yourself somewhere in the story. Maybe you've caught yourself evaluating people more than appreciating them. Maybe you've been chasing the perfect relationship while neglecting the kind of person you are becoming. Or maybe you've been on the other side. You've felt disposable. You've been ghosted, rejected, compared, made to feel like you simply weren't enough. If that's your story, I want you to hear this. You have never been a product in the eyes of God. You have never been valued according to your appearance, your income, your popularity, your relationship status, or your past. Before anyone chose you, God did. Before anyone rejected you, Christ gave his life for you. Before anyone truly knew your story. God already knew every chapter, and he still moves towards you. That changes everything. Because when your identity is rooted in being loved by God, you stop asking other people to prove your worth. You begin loving from security instead of searching from insecurity. Maybe the first question we need to stop asking is this Who is the right person for me? Now, that's not a bad question. It's just not the first question. Because if all we focus on is finding the right person, we can spend our lives overlooking the person God is shaping us to become. Maybe the better question is, Am I becoming someone who reflects Christ? Am I becoming more patient, more truthful, more humble, more dependable, more forgiving, more generous? Because healthy relationships are rarely built by people who found perfection. They're built by people who keep surrendering themselves to Jesus. The person you become will shape every relationship you ever have. Here's another question. Instead of asking, What can I receive from this relationship? What if we asked, How can I serve this person? Notice how often Jesus asked questions. He often listened, he often stopped for people everyone else hurried past. Love isn't merely an emotion. Love pays attention. Love notices. Love listens. Love serves. Imagine how different dating would look if two people arrived on a date, not trying to impress one another, but trying to honor one another. Imagine friendships built that way. Imagine marriages built that way. Imagine churches built that way. Imagine a world where people felt genuinely safe because they know they won't be manipulated, used, or treated as disposable. Wouldn't that look more like the kingdom of God? There's one more question, and I think this might be the most important one of all. Instead of asking, can this person complete me? Ask, can we help each other become more like Christ? Because no human being was ever designed to carry the weight of being your savior. Your spouse can't, your boyfriend can't, your girlfriend can't, your best friend can't, only Jesus can. The healthiest relationships are not built by two people desperately trying to fool one another's emptiness. They're built by two people whose deepest need has already been met in Christ, and who now help one another keep walking toward him? That's a completely different kind of love. It's less about possession and more about partnership, less about consuming and more about cultivating, less about demanding, more about giving. Let me ask you something. What if the greatest witness your life ever gives isn't a sermon you preach or a worship song you sing or a Bible study you lead? What if it's the way you treat the people no one else notices? The waiter serving your meal? The colleague who's difficult to work with? The stranger who can't offer anything in return? The person whose heart you're holding while you decide whether to pursue a relationship. Character isn't revealed when it's easy, it's revealed in the quiet decisions nobody applauds. The text message you don't send because it would manipulate. The conversation where you choose honesty instead of convenience, the courage to end a relationship with kindness instead of just disappearing, the humility to apologize, the willingness to forgive. Those moments rarely go viral. But heaven notices every one of them. Because every act of self-giving love reflects the heart of Christ. So, before you ask, is this the right person? Maybe stand in front of the mirror and ask something far more courageous. Am I becoming the kind of person someone can safely trust? Can someone build a life with me? Will my words bring healing? Will my presence bring peace? Will my love look like the love of Jesus? Because the world doesn't need more people looking for perfect relationships. The world needs more people who have been transformed by perfect love. People are not problems to solve, opportunities to exploit, or products to consume. They are image bearers created by God and deeply loved by Him. When we begin to see people that way, everything changes. I don't want to leave you with another dating strategy. I want to leave you with something far better. A different way to see every person you meet. Because when your vision changes, your relationships begin to change too. And that is where real transformation begins. As we come to the end of today's conversation, I don't want to leave you carrying guilt. Because guilt has never transformed anyone. Grace does. Maybe today you've realized that you've sometimes viewed people through the lens of what they could offer you. Maybe you've been searching for someone to fix the emptiness you've been carrying. Or maybe you've been the one who was treated as though your value depended on what you could provide. Wherever you find yourself, hear this. The gospel isn't for people who got relationships right. The gospel is for people who need a new heart. And that was every one of us. The beautiful thing about following Jesus is that he doesn't simply teach us a better way to live, he gives us a new way to see. He teaches us to look beyond appearances, beyond usefulness, beyond performance, beyond labels. He teaches us to see people the way he sees them, as image bearers, as neighbors, as brothers and sisters, as people worth stopping for, worth listening to, worth loving. Because that's exactly how he looked at us. Think about your own story. There was a moment when Jesus found you. Not after you had everything together, not after you became worthy, not after you finally figured life out. He moved towards you while you were still broken, still confused, still carrying shame, still trying to write your own story. The cross wasn't God's response to your perfection, it was his response to your need. And if that's how Christ loved us, how can we love any differently? The Apostle John wrote, We love because he first loved us. Everything begins there, not with our effort, not with our discipline, not even with our desire to become better people. Everything begins with receiving the love of God. Because people who know they are deeply loved don't have to use other people to feel complete. So let me leave you with something practical. Not just for this week, but perhaps for the rest of your life. Before every important conversation, before every difficult decision, before every date, before every disagreement, before every opportunity to speak, ask yourself one simple question. Am I seeing this person the way Jesus sees them? Not what can they do for me? Not how do they make me feel? Not what can I gain? But simply, can I see the image of God in this person? If you begin asking that question consistently, I believe it will change your friendships, your marriage, your parenting, your workplace, your church, even the way you treat complete strangers, because it's very difficult to use someone once you've remembered whose image they bear. One day, every phone will become obsolete, every social media platform will disappear, every dating app will be forgotten, every trend will fade, every advertisement will be silenced, the endless pressure to consume, to compare, to upgrade will finally come to an end. But one thing will remain: love, not sentimental love, not self-centered love, not love that keeps core, but the kind of love we first saw stretching out its hands on a rugged cross. Because love is more than something God does. Love is who He is, and every time we choose patience over impatience, forgiveness over revenge, presence over distraction, service over selfishness, faithfulness over convenience, we become living reflections of the God who loved us first. So perhaps the greatest question isn't, have I found the right person? Perhaps the greatest question is, Am I becoming more like the person who gave his life for me? Because when that happens, we stop treating people like products. We stop asking what they can give us. We begin asking how we can love them well. And maybe, just maybe, that's how the world will recognize the followers of Jesus. Not because we talk the most about love, but because we love the most like Him. Thank you for joining me on Beyond Belief. If today's episode encouraged you or challenged the way you've been thinking, would you share it with someone? Not to grow an audience, but because conversations like this have the power to change hearts. And changed hearts change the world. Until next time, keep seeking truth, keep walking in grace, keep becoming more like Jesus. And remember, people were never created to be consumed, they were created to be loved. God bless.