Unmuted

Boudoir Photography Saved My Life

Gary Robinson & Guests

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0:00 | 34:26

Victoria’s job is so much more than photographing boudoir shots. It’s been a space of reclamation, driving her to advocate on body positivity to youth groups, and her salvation when her life crumbled in 2024.

From quitting the office job she hated and never even handling a camera, Victoria Baptiste found herself as a career photographer and discovered the creative and meaningful work that came from boudoir photography.

I met with Victoria to discuss the importance of high emotional intelligence in a job where your customers are at their most vulnerable. I learned that this safety in vulnerability offers Victoria's customers an emotional outlet that they often aren’t anticipating.

She explains that her work is less about the photos themselves and more about reclaiming self-worth for women who have survived cancer, domestic violence, or body dysmorphia.

A central theme of the episode is resilience. Victoria shares her experience of losing her father, her dog, her home, and her relationship while navigating a pregnancy loss—all within eight months. She credits her survival to her business and the "anchor" of small daily routines. The episode also explores the dangers of social media "perfection" culture, the rise of AI, and Victoria’s work with youth charities to promote healthy body image in schools.

Take a listen to learn how Flux Photography’s Victoria Baptiste handles life with half dressed customers with the greatest care.

Music: 'Spirit of Fire' - fiftysounds.com

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SPEAKER_01

In this episode of Amuted, UK boudoir photographer, empowerment advocate, and professional badass encourager, Victoria Baptiste.

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It's not an easy thing to walk into that studio, stripped down to your underwear, and be photographed by a complete stranger.

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We talk about which of the emotional intelligence skills are most prominent when taking a photograph of someone at their most vulnerable.

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I think for me personally it's the empathy because a lot of the ladies that come in have been through really difficult life challenges.

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Victoria gives her insight into the pressures to conform to the social notion of how we should look.

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I actually think they're more prevalent than ever and I think they're getting worse.

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We discuss an extremely challenging 2024.

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In the space of eight months, I had to go through some of the toughest life experiences I have ever been through, starting with my dad passing away.

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And the prevalence of artificial intelligence. Thumbs up or thumbs down.

SPEAKER_02

I think when you're my age, you've already been through a process where you've had to use your mind quite a lot. But if you're starting off as a perhaps younger person, are you then going to learn that you don't have to think for yourself?

SPEAKER_01

Hello, I'm Gary Robinson. Victoria Baptiste's mission as a boudoir photographer is to predominantly help women claim their quote-unquote badassy, reconnect with their bodies, and love themselves loudly, obviously, and without apology. In this conversation, Victoria explains how her ethos of love, kindness, compassion, zero judgment, and maximum empowerment impacts on the lives of every single person. First of all, how did it all start?

SPEAKER_02

I started out as an accounts assistant and I lasted a year before I walked out and quit.

SPEAKER_01

If you're willing to share it, what because I've quit jobs. Well, I've quit positions in organizations. What caused you to quit?

SPEAKER_02

I genuinely hated working in an office. It wasn't the people, the people were lovely, but I I just it I learned very quickly that it wasn't for me, and I lasted a year just thinking, no, this is a thing that people do, and you go in and you get paid and you come home. And I just couldn't do it anymore one day, so I literally got up and walked out.

SPEAKER_01

So has photography or that that element of creativity always been in your blood, in your DNA?

SPEAKER_02

Photography, no, not at all. I hadn't picked up a camera before my first job. Um, creativity, yes. I always used to love making things out of you know newspaper. I used to stick it all together and make like entire outfits out of newspapers uh for one reason or another, and I used to love it. And I used to, you know, make things out of cereal boxes and things like that. So creativity, yes. I've got quite a creative family, but photography, no. It wasn't until I saw an ad in the back of the paper that said full training given to be a family photographer, and I thought, oh, it can't be probably that hard. So I went for it and and the rest is history, as they say.

SPEAKER_01

Well, so from family photographer to boudoir, how did how did that come about?

SPEAKER_02

So started off as a family photographer and was made redundant after a year, and then I got my second job with an incredible man called Mark Seymour. Um, by sheer fluke, you know, when those things happen and it's a series of events and it was just meant to be. So, one reason or another, I managed to get a job with him with my little portfolio that I put in one of those little albums and got printed out of boots, and that really expanded my knowledge of actual photography. Uh, in my first job, it was very much a case of these are the settings, this is how you set it up, and these are the 10 shots you take. Whereas that second job really allowed me to explore the inner workings of photography, um, the lighting, the angles, the camera, how to set everything up, how to pose everything, and I was given a lot of creative freedom within that role to explore what I liked and what I didn't, and um yeah, was just given a lot of kind of help along the way from people that Mark knew as well.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, what I'm finding on my my journey and curating these sort of stories is in nearly every story there's a mentor or somebody who inspires you at the centre of that. How crucial is that on somebody's journey?

SPEAKER_02

I would not be doing what I do today without Mark, um, without him introducing me to this not just taking pictures but thinking about how I took pictures, why I took pictures, the thought process before, um, and the treatment of the photos afterwards. And that doesn't mean massive editing, it doesn't mean anything, it just means what are you, you know, what do you want to present to that person who was just giving you their time in the studio to come and spend that time with you and their money. So it wasn't just let's pick up a camera and take photos, it was everything, and he kind of built the structure for me of how I run my business today. And when I do a photo shoot, I put everything into it. It's not just oh, I get to take some pictures today, it's I've really thought about what I'm shooting, why I'm shooting it, how I'm shooting it, the person's reason for coming in that day and why they're doing it is a massive part of what I do and how I shoot what I shoot as well. So um, yeah, that's that's absolutely massive.

SPEAKER_01

We'll talk about the uh the the concept and how boudoir uh photography has an impact on somebody's life that comes to you. Um but let's just talk about emotional intelligence at the moment and the four, five rather, and some people think there are six, maybe more, but for me the five components of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. I imagine doing the work that you do that you need all five of those in abundance.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. Uh, because there are, it's not just somebody books in, somebody comes for the shoot, they go home. It's not that type of shoot. You build such a lovely relationship with that customer along the way from the moment they inquire. So you're already building that really special relationship with them because they are trusting you from that point to inquire to say, I think you might be the right person to shoot this, you know, really vulnerable shoot that I want to do. Um, and even to the point where they're, you know, you discuss how they want to shoot and what they want to do it for and their reasons for doing it. That's quite a personal thing. Uh, and it's not easy to do. It is not an easy thing to walk into that studio, stripped down to your underwear, and be photographed by a complete stranger. So, yeah, I really have to tune in to my customer and really you know pick up on on where they're at because it they're all different.

SPEAKER_01

Like so, if if we were to take um self-awareness, the self-regulation, the motivation, the empathy, and the social skills, all of which I imagine are equally as important, but which one for you would really would you really need to stand out or to really hone in on in order to start to build that relationship with a with a stranger who's coming to get their photograph taken?

SPEAKER_02

I think for me personally it's the empathy because a lot of the ladies that come in have been through really difficult life challenges. That's not always easy to share with somebody, especially somebody that you don't know. Sometimes it can be easier to speak to somebody you don't know, but I think to share that with a stranger is a big thing anyway. And I think just having that empathy and understanding and relatability with the person coming through those studio doors is massive for them to know that they're stepping in to a safe space and that you understand and that they are not about to be judged at all.

SPEAKER_01

And in terms of obviously we, you know, no no names, no pack drill, because confidentiality is the heart of everything, that trust that you have. But sort of people come through your doors and what are their hopes and expectations?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so lots of women who have been through difficult life challenges, uh, ladies who have been through cancer treatment, um, weight loss journeys, domestic violence, and ultimately one of the key themes that runs through any of those things is I want to reclaim myself, my self-confidence, my self-worth, and my body. Uh they are fed up of looking in that mirror every day and hating what they see in the mirror, and they're ready to start making a change in their life, so it's really part of a bigger journey, that shoot. It's not just I'm going for a shoot. Um, I very rarely get women come to me who just want to go, I love myself and I love my body and I want to celebrate it. And I really wish that that were the norm. It's not. Um, a lot of people have been through quite a quite a big journey, big personal journey to get there.

SPEAKER_01

So we've moved to uh uh another part of the bar. Hopefully it's a little bit a little bit quieter, but uh, I'm sure the listener can appreciate we're in a we're in a busy space. Victoria, we talked about the importance of um emotional intelligence uh before we wrapped up the first part of the conversation. Um, and we'll come back to that um as the conversation goes on. What about you? We were we were talking about just generally how business was, um, and you revealed to me um when we were um off mic that 2024 wasn't the best year for you, uh, and you said that you're happy to share that, and I'm delighted that you are, and thank you for that. So, do you just give us a little fill us in a little bit about your 2024?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so an overview of 2024 was in the space of eight months I had to go through some of the toughest life experiences I have ever been through, starting with my dad passing away, and then I had the roller coaster I found out I was pregnant, and then I had a miscarriage, and then um shortly after that, like within six weeks, my dog who was 12 passed away, had her since she was eight weeks old. I think that was super tough after all that as well because she got me through everything. And then in January of last year, my partner of 12 years broke up with me, and as a result, I had to move out of the house that we shared and find a new home as well within the space of eight months. So to say it was tough uh is is an understatement. It was pretty bad, but yeah, that that's my 2024.

SPEAKER_01

So in terms of uh in terms of resilience, I'm really keen to find out more about what gets you through. So, you know, I if I you know if I'm I'm quite public about the times when I've I've had tough times as we all tend to do, and I I turned to alcohol uh and became you know very, very ill, but came through the other side, and that was through a lot of grit and determination and a lot of love around me, I have to say. How are you getting on right now? And grief, as you have said, isn't is an ongoing process. But how are you getting on and where are you right now?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I would say the last year has been incredible, which might sound strange after what I've just said, but I learnt a lot about myself in the last year. I'm quite resilient anyway. I would say I generally tend to look forwards rather than backwards, but I think last year I was in a place where I just couldn't. I couldn't anything anymore, and I truly realised the value of the people in my life. Not that I didn't think they were valuable anyway, but those people that stepped up realised I couldn't, and just took over and went, it's okay, you don't need to. We're here, you don't need to. And so I think I had about three months at the beginning of last year where I just couldn't, I could barely operate. The only thing I could do was run my business, and I think that was my saving grace. I threw myself into my business and went, well, I might have just lost a lot of stuff, but I'm not losing my business. I've worked too hard for it and I love it too much, and what I do is too important to let go of. So for me, that is what got me through, and that is what got me to now, the people in my life, and what I do because of my love for it and how important it is in my life, and realising it's not just what I do, it's who I am.

SPEAKER_01

How do how do people identify what's really important to them when they can't see the wood for the trees because they're in the midst of grief or they are just in so much despair that all they can see is darkness in front of them. How how do you think that people how can people identify those that that thing in their life that is really important to them that they can hang on to, that's and it's that thing that's worth hanging on to to get them through where they currently are?

SPEAKER_02

That is such a brilliant question and a really tough one. Uh, I think it's different for every single individual. I don't think there's probably one answer, and I think circumstances in your life play a massive part. Uh, you know, do you have people to support you? Do you have something that you need to be there for? For me, I had to be there for my dog. It sounds really silly, probably.

SPEAKER_01

Not at all, I get it completely.

SPEAKER_02

I, you know, after my dad passed away, I still had to get up and walk my dog. So for me, at that point, that's what got me through. Didn't matter how I was feeling, that dog needed to go out for a walk. So that was my anchor for that moment in particular. And I don't think it matters what small thing it is. I think January to March last year I made my bed every morning, and I made and that made me get out of bed every morning. I need to get out of bed because I need to make my bed. That was one tiny, tiny thing, but that's what got me through. So it doesn't matter how small you think the action is, as long as you are moving forwards and do it in in whatever way you need to. Maybe it's just a bit of self-care, maybe it's just brushing your teeth that day or making yourself a cup of tea. Whatever it is, start with that one thing and do it every day, and then you can have more stuff in when you're ready.

SPEAKER_01

That's a wonderful answer, because it was a bit of a stinker of a question. Yeah, it really was. It was a stinker of a question. Um But you know the way that the way that I believe I believe I'd get the best answers out of people is to buy them a coffee first. So if you want another latte, just ask. Because there's some more stinkers on the way. I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding. Um that's a wonderful answer. Um I get it completely about the dog. I I I've had dogs, but I had one dog that I lost in particular that just just for some reason just tipped me over the edge. And that was a big tipping point, big tipping point, so I get I get that completely. Um in terms of the people that that come through your door, they too will have seen their fair share of trauma, as you've described previously. Um just take me through the the the process about taking somebody by the hand, making them feel safe, and then having the shoot, and then is there anything without say giving too much away where there's some examples of transformation?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, everyone's doing the shoot for a different reason, and I feel like when they get to me, they're at a point where they want to make a change because they've already decided they want to make a change, which is great. And I think as I've said before, from that moment they make the inquiry, you know, asking them a little bit more about you know why you're doing the shoot and and picking up the phone as well, not just through an email, because I find it's quite impersonal to ask personal questions through an email when you're you're doing that sort of shoot. So picking up the phone and going, you know, what are you doing it for? And it might be I'm getting married, I'm doing it as a gift for my groom, and and I don't usually do stuff like that. I'm a bit nervous, he's gonna love it, or it could be I have been through a horrible time, and I just I need to reclaim my self-confidence. So the tone of the conversation is very much determined by the reason that they're coming in, and from that moment that they do make that inquiry, it is taking them through the entire process so they don't have to think about anything other than showing up and bringing their stuff. All you've got to do is put your stuff in a bag and get yourself to the studio. So I like to think, you know, you're coming because I will take care of everything, and you absolutely can be as involved as you want if you've got ideas. If you're actually going, no, I specifically want this, that's great, let's discuss it, let's build a Pinterest board. But if it's a case of I don't really I haven't got a clue, which is more often than not, a lot of ladies like I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what what am I supposed to do, do I need to know how to pose? No, honestly, you do the the first step is make that booking, and I will take care of everything if you need me to. And if you've got a clear idea of what you want, that's fine, we'll work on it together. Every person coming to that shoot has a transformation in their attitude. I think one that stands out for me in particular was a lady who is a mum, and she had been at war with her body for years, years and years and years, finally decided she was going to do this shoot because she was ready to just stop with it. Um and she contacted me and said, Look, I I'm a mum, I just I I don't really see the value in my body, and I I want to come in for a shoot. Um I don't know quite what I'm expecting from it, but you know, I just feel like I need to make a change. So she came in, did the shoot, and we spoke about her entire journey as well through the shoot, you know, what has been your journey with your body, and and she said, shared some really personal things with me within that shoot, and then it wasn't until after she said something that I now very much she she summed it up better than I ever could. And she said, Look, this wasn't just a photo shoot, the photos are actually secondary. What this was was quite a therapeutic experience to talk about that with somebody, things that I've never ever said before. The experience is what's changed things for me, and the photos, whilst incredible, are the secondary byproduct of that experience. And she said, now when I have a bad body day, I pick out one of those photos, I smile, and I realise that whatever's in my mind isn't true. So for me, that's that's the best endorsement anyone could ever have to walk away and for someone to say, When I'm having bad body days, because I think people think I'm gonna have the shoot and I'm never gonna have a bad body day again. That's that's not um realistic. Like we all have bad body days and they creep up on us, and and and every day is in a good day, and and that's absolutely fine. But just to remind yourself, I'm having a bad body day, but like I'm still awesome, and be able to snap yourself out of it so it's not long term.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think the world of um the the back in my day, the size zero model or the hunk with the shirt off and that that perfect what you thought was the perfect body? And it's gonna lead me on to my next question actually. Do you think those days are waning? Are they over or are they still in the in in the in this in this day and age and the rise of social media, are they more prevalent than ever?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I actually think they're more prevalent than ever, and I think they're getting worse. I think the pressure on young men specifically is higher than it's ever been. Um the things that they are now very much aware of that perhaps might not have been a thing ten years ago has changed. I think young women, it's always been, you know, the the size culture and the the way you look and the beauty culture with young women has always always been a thing. But due to the access of images and videos and tutorials and and all the information they have access to on all the platforms they have access to it on, it's it's a really not very nice world out there for our young people, and it needs to change massively.

SPEAKER_01

And leading me on to this next question is I was introduced to you through um two wonderful individuals who look after all my world, and that's Jess and Laura. And I think that you've met Laura actually here in this hotel at a networking event. And Laura said, Well, you must meet Victoria in some great work in schools. I'm really keen to explore that with you. So, what are you doing with young people?

SPEAKER_02

So I work with an incredible charity called Wickham Youth Action. And we go into schools and run workshops with young men and young women around body image, mindfulness, mental health. We have a couple of our workshops. We have Beauty and the Truth for young women, which is about having open conversations around beauty and around body image, in somewhere that they have a safe space to discuss that openly and honestly, without judgment. And then for young men we have okay to talk, which is all about which is all about speaking up and using your voice rather than this awful notion of man up, it's not okay to cry, be a man about it. And so yeah, those are two of two of our kind of main workshops that we do. And the conversations that we have within those workshops are incredible. They just allow those young people to have that open space with somebody who gets it, or with somebody who isn't going to judge them or tell them that they're not allowed to say something or it's not appropriate because they're in a school setting, which I fully understand there needs to be absolute rules in school. I I get it, I get why they're there, and I think they're absolutely needed. So it's not to take away from teachers and the amazing job that they're doing, but just having that that safe space with someone who perhaps isn't a parent, isn't a teacher, um, and isn't somebody who they feel conscious around certain things around is is much needed for them.

SPEAKER_01

One of my heroes is a chap called Sir Ken Robinson, and he's no longer with us, but he was uh a guy that really felt and advocated for creativity being as important as the three R's are in education. Do you think that social media is allowing young people to express their creativity, hopefully positively, a lot more than it than they've ever been able to do?

SPEAKER_02

I think it can do, and I think it should do, but I don't think it does because young people in general, from the feedback that I've had, are too afraid of judgment to post anything. So they are almost too afraid to use their voice through fear of being judged by other young people. So it's this amazing tool that they could express themselves, and one of the workshops I do is around expressing yourself in the way that you want to, showing up the way that you want to, and not being afraid of that judgment and showing up unapologetically, but that's easier said than done for them.

SPEAKER_01

Does the world of artificial intelligence, which has been around for a while but is certainly coming into prominence now, does that concern you?

SPEAKER_02

It does. Um I think it concerns most people, but I feel for me personally, if I think when you're my age, you've already been through a process where you've had to use your mind quite a lot. But if you're starting off as a perhaps younger person, are you then going to learn that you don't have to think for yourself? Is is my question or is my worry, I suppose. Is it's you know, we already have a completely different generation with our young people and and how they behave and and how they are, which is you know is amazing. And I think they're gonna do great things in the future, but it it does pose a question therein like how much are we gonna use our minds in the future to problem solve and to use our common sense, or are we just going to plug it into our devices and ask the question without thinking?

SPEAKER_01

The thing that I concern get concerned about in terms of social media and about being on our and this is for adults as well, isn't just for teenagers. So I've walked down train carriages and nobody communicates and everybody's on a device. Is it to have a highly attuned uh EQ you need connection, you need to talk, you need to, you need you need to communicate. And and if it's uh I think EQ's like a muscle. If you don't if you don't use it, it's gonna get very weak and and probably disintegrate. Um and that's my concern. And I think I think what I think what I'm saying, Victoria, is is is it is it about is it about balance in all these things?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think it massively is about balance, and I think something that people have forgotten is that social media, it's in the name, social media, it's about connection. It was always about connection, first and foremost, at its you know, its core, it was about being able to connect with people that you otherwise wouldn't be able to connect with, and I think there are lots of people that do that very, very well, but I think sometimes people forget to interact with people through those channels as well, and I think obviously, if you're a young person, there are a lot of dangers and barriers around doing that, and we need to look at safety first and foremost when it comes to young people and social media. Um, but I think if you are a business, it is a really incredible place where you can connect with wonderful, wonderful people and and get quite a lot out of it, and it's in how you connect. And it's not just about going, I like that post, or that's nice, or putting a thumbs up, it's about going, that's really interesting. What do you think about this? You know, st I treat social media very much like I would if I've got a person in front of me. I wouldn't just walk up to a person and stick my thumb in their face. I wouldn't just walk up to a person and nod at them. I wouldn't just walk up to a person and give them a closed statement. I would ask a question, I would want to know more, like who are you? Like what do you do? What do you find interesting about what you do? Why do you love what you do? Don't you love what you do? If you don't love what you do, what do you want to do? Like, because that's how we do connection and conversation, and that's how you learn about people. So I think you need to, for me personally, I need to do that online as much as I do in person.

SPEAKER_01

Go back to your creativity for just a moment. Um, if this is released before March, this may have happened, but it's happening. And um, I love the fact that you are, I'll let you tell the story, that you are setting a, for want of a better phrase, I suppose, a photography class in a very unique setting of some very historic railway carriages. Um tell us, tell us a wee bit more about this because I love it.

SPEAKER_02

So the idea came. Um I've always wanted to run boudoir photography workshops, and I do run workshops anyway. And I've run them sort of in the studio or on location, out and about in nature. And I thought, wouldn't it be incredible if I'm gonna run a workshop? How do I give people the optimum value from that workshop? How do we make it so that they are really creating something really special for their portfolio that I otherwise perhaps could not offer them in the studio? And I thought, actually, why don't we look at a really incredible location? And from the moment I thought of it, I thought of this railway location because I thought, imagine these old railway carriages with a boudoir theme, and it just works. And I did a test shoot there a few weeks ago, and it really was incredible. You cannot help but be creative. That setting, you're not gonna run out of ideas, you're gonna feel so creative while you're there in that space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But now here's the thing that you're not saying is that they are pretty unique carriages, they're not just you know an old 1970s British Rail buffet carriage. Tell us a little bit more about these settings.

SPEAKER_02

So they have two incredible carriages inside, one set up as Queen Elizabeth II's kind of tea carriage, so they have like china on the tables, and it's it's been restored beautifully.

SPEAKER_01

Now, this was part of the royal train.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, so there it's just it's beautiful, and it I can't describe it. You'd have to look online at some of the images that I've taken in there, but it's gorgeous, like just the the quality of this carriage is beautiful. And the other carriage was Winston Churchill's carriage, so it's got some like a little seat bit in it, and it's got like a little meeting table in one of the other rooms as well, with chairs around it, and it's it's again been restored beautifully, and it's looked after beautifully by the volunteers and the charity that that run the location. So it's also got a lot of outdoor space, steam trains, old post office train, like platform, but it's it's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01

And where is this?

SPEAKER_02

This is um Buckinghamshire Railway Centre in Quainton, Aylesbury, and I highly recommend anybody to go and take a visit.

SPEAKER_01

That's wonderful, and of course the photographs are on the Flux uh website, your website, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, they are, and on my social media.

SPEAKER_01

Um before we depart, um it's been wonderful chatting. I love your insights. You talked very honestly and openly about um a very difficult part of your life in 2024, and thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. Um, where are you now and what's the future looking like?

SPEAKER_02

So I'm at a place where after a long year of healing last year and a lot of support, I'm at a place where I am probably the most excited I have ever been for life, for my business, for everything. My business is going in exactly the way that I want it to. I feel that I've got some really good clarity on how I want to build and what I want to build within it. But in terms of my life as well, I'm doing my first solo trip to Italy tomorrow because I've always wanted to travel and I've always wanted to do solo trips, and I just never booked it. And I thought starting off this year, this is a year to do more of the things that I want to do and experience more things and run the business that I want to run and do more of the things that I love. So that's this year, and I'm I'm really looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_01

And uh take it you're taking the camera with you.

SPEAKER_02

I'm actually not gonna take a camera with me. I'm gonna take my phone and I'm gonna actually try and I feel like when I've got my camera, I tend to go into work mode. It's it's an instant switch, and it's not that I don't love taking photos, I do, but I think I just I'm gonna take it as a moment to actually just put my phone down, put my camera down, and take in the things with my own eyes that are out there. So yeah.