Being a first time father and what it was like being locked up

Mr. Josh Stevens joined with me today on being a first time father and what it was like being locked up at a young age of 16 to his early 20's.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Here we go. Hey everybody, how y'all doing? I'm DJ in Motion here with WYSM, where what you say matters. And today I have this young man right here. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Helen all the way from Columbia, South Carolina. I got my young man here.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

My name is Josh. Joshua Stevens.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

There we go. There we go. There we go, ladies and gentlemen. You can go if you want, you go ahead and tell a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Oh yeah, I'm 34 years old from South Carolina, Columbia, South Carolina. I work for prison health. I love to help people. I love to just tell my testimony. A lot of people don't understand where I come from. But today, I don't know what I want to talk about being a first-time father though. Because I know it's a lot of people don't need to talk about that subject in the world. I know that it's a lot of fathers that need to speak up what's going on here. So we can understand where the black community and all communities are going in this world.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

Well, how do you well first off, how do you how do you feel about to be a first-time father? And you you're gonna be like right on time for Father's Day.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

Unlike mommy to be, she'll be a mommy to be. Well, we all know Mother's Day is what tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow. Mother's Day is tomorrow, but she's still a mommy, a mommy to be. So, you know, that that that says it right there. So I mean, how how do you how do you feel like you know?

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Um, I feel anxious and I feel nervous at the same time. Anxious cause it's a new adventure in my life that I've been wanting for a while. And um, especially with the woman I have too. But the nervous is part because you don't know what's gonna happen. You never know how it's gonna play out, but that's a part of the journey, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

That that that would explain that would explain it. I mean, that that in a nutshell, so to speak, that would explain it because uh seriously, uh with parenthood, you just you just never know. There is no warning labels, there is no nothing, you know, especially your child if they if they a wild one, if they like being outside and and playing and they're rough and get banged up, bruised up, and you apparent, you oh, oh my god, oh you know, you you just never know, and you just gotta go, you know, do parenting just day by day. Yeah. You know, just you just gotta go through it day by day, you know. And it's really not much you can can do.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Yeah, I mean, every day's a new journey, every day's a new new obstacle you gotta go across. So um I'm just looking forward to it, seeing her little face, seeing the growth that she put into me and what she's going through as a as a as a as a young human being on this in this world. Teach it right from wrong and just make sure she abide by the rules of the law and how we instill what we instill with in her. I know that a lot of men don't get to be around their kids, but I want to be that person, be around my daughter 100% of the time. Nothing can come between us. Hope we have that bond that nobody can take from us because there's a lot of fathers in the world that's not in their kids' life because of certain situations and certain things that they're going through mentally and physically. So I know that I want to be there for my daughter and whoever kids is out there too, be a mentor to them also. Okay, a mentor in what way? Um giving my testimony, you know what I'm saying? You know, I've done been through a lot too. So um if they ask me a question, be up front with them. Don't don't don't BS them like uh some some people do to kids to get them to try to follow their footsteps when their footsteps might not been right for that per individual person. So you gotta really navigate it different now in these days, especially with all the music and everything that's going on.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Okay. Well what I'll ask you this, what wrongs have you done in your life that that that put a a a damper that put a damper on you and you you pivoted from that to come out and and do something positive.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Uh young age, going through trials and tribulation with a teenager, having a father in my life, but really wasn't grateful for it. You know what I'm saying? Like um dabbled in the street as a young age, went through a lot of trials and tribulation with the law, being locked up doing three years in the pen. Actually sitting back and doing that time and thinking about how I'm gonna come out here and do it right this time. Like trying to tiptoe, just not not tiptoe, but like trying to stay out of the way, trying to stay out of the way and do it legitly instead of going back to the the old ways. Like change your mindset and change the way that you really move out here because it's it's not no friends out here, friends to get you killed and friends to rat on you. These kids don't understand that it's not it's not it's it's self-preservation out here, first of all. Because I'm pretty sure these kids and these young these young adults have people in their lives that doing messed up things and they're not telling the kids it's bad, they're just allowing it. So I want to tell the kids like nah that's that's that's that's wrong. You don't supposed to be doing that. You're supposed to be doing it like this if if you want to do it like that. Now you know you have kids that's out here still doing the bad things that they don't supposed to be doing, they know it's wrong. I'm talking to them too. Like, stop doing it. Don't don't do that. Like, how how old were you when you first got locked up? I was 13 years old. 13 years old for assault, assault and battery. So you went to juvie first? Yeah, I went to juvenile first. Juvie first and then Yeah, county, the county, okay. Yeah, and then got like out two or three years later. Called assault uh assault and battery that turned into assault and tentacle because my hands are registered in the state of South Carolina. So yeah, that's that's what happened, and I did three years on that, came home and have been in trouble since. I try to keep my head low, like just because you stay out of the way and you might be a boring person, that don't mean you were lame. You smart. Stay out of the way. That that's that's what they want you to do. They want you to get in trouble so they can keep these presents open. That's how it is, especially with us young black men.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

And you said your hands are uh registered, have registered like in boxing, I used to box when I was a kid. Okay, boxing, yeah. My um, believe it or not, my uh my uncle. My uncle was a bad man. My my uncle was a bad man, my uncle was a bad man. And um and and talking with him as I got older and I learned, you know, he said, my hand my hands are registered. And I'm like, what? He said, Yeah, my hands are registered. So he explained to me the the process behind it. Like, like if you move to a different state, wherever you move to, you gotta let them know that your hands are are are registered. Because he was telling me, he said, let's say I move, like he moved to Florida, and he said if he were to get into it with somebody down there, he would get in trouble behind that because he didn't register his hands.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

So not having them hands, you know, registered and letting people know can't get can't get you in a a world of trouble. People don't people don't realize that. Like, um, what is it? Who was it? Uh Mike Tyson. Like, uh, I think I was watching something with him, uh, interview or something with him, how he was saying how his how bad his temper used to be. Oh, yeah. He was saying how bad his temper used to be, and he would fly off and he didn't care. But it wasn't until he started getting, you know, older and wiser behind a lot of the stuff that he was doing that he no longer does, you know, to be like, you can't be out here acting like this, you can't be doing this, you know, you can't be triggered by people that that easy. It's always consequences of all your actions. Amen. I I I I like Mike Tyson. I sit and I listen to his interviews or whatnot, but having them hands registered, boy, ain't nothing to play with.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

If you box in your state and your hands is registered, the judge will tell you you should have picked up a gun and shot him before you hit him. Are you serious? That's what the judge told me. You'll I would have got less of I would have got I would have got less of time.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Man, get that!

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Come on now. Man, I'm telling you. I'm dead ass. I'm telling you, like it happens all the time. And if you don't really know your law, if you don't really know what you're facing when you when you do, yes, it happens all the time. And this was in South Carolina. Yeah, South Carolina, Columbia, South Carolina.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

That a judge told you that.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

She told me if that's something serious. She told me if I ever come back to her, she if I ever come back in in a courtroom and she's my judge, she's gonna give me the maximum 15 years. Like, and she threw the y'all y'all don't know, but she threw the book. South Carolina is one of the states that will throw the book at you. Like, they don't care, like, especially if you're a P defender, like, for real, it's it get wicked in my city, like a lot a lot of people, a lot of people say South Carolina's small, man, but it it get jumping. Like, it gets it really get jumping.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

I I wonder, you know, we was talking earlier about the uh the comedian Ali. Yeah. And he talked about, you know, how he, you know, boxed. You know, how he boxed and everything. And especially the it was funny when he was talking about boxing with his son. And I I just want because he's never he's never said. So I wonder if his hands are registered because he boxed.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

They have to be. They have to be. And he I'm pretty sure he's he's he's registered in Texas.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Oh, okay. I just wonder because like I said, you since you said it, you know, I I've never heard him, I've never heard him say it.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

You go through like like the little amateur thing or like the amateur boxing, and like you a kid, and you ever want golden gloves and stuff, your hands just registered. Like they like your hands is registered. Like, like, for real. Like I got a homeboy back in South Carolina, his hands registered. He almost went through the same thing I went through, but everything was caught on camera, so he got he got all he got off it, yeah, got off everything.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

That's good, that's good. Cause uh when I lived in Baltimore, in Mont Domin Mall, it's a it's a barber shop downstairs. And one of the barbers that was in there, I just remember his first name. His name was Marvin, and then he had a gym over there on um Pennsylvania Avenue called Umar, Umar Gym. And he had, you know, all of his all of his stuff in the in the barbershop, right? So I got to asking him questions, you know, you know, you a boxer, you this, you that. And he was like, if you're interested, you know, because I've always been interested in in wanting to box and everything like that. He was like, I'll train you. Well, one of the first things that came out of my mouth was I told him, I said, I'm gonna tell you right now, I got a problem. I got a problem. Because if somebody hit me in my face, that's it. That's it. I it's like an inferno. Woo! It's in me, and that's it. Like I lose it, like it's on. And he's like, No, you can't, you, you can't do that. You can't you can't be like that. Yeah, you can't do that. You know, he was like, You can't do that, you can't be like that.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

You gotta have discipline in your brain, man.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Right. He said all that to me, and I said, Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

But you gotta you gotta look at it. Just like, just like they hit you, you can hit them too. Right. You got hey, you got sometimes you gotta take a look to get one.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

And I I'm I'm not one of those that that go out and and cause problems. Oh no. I don't I don't look for trouble, I don't, I don't do none of that. I don't go out starting nothing with nobody or anything. I be chill, I'd be in my own world, I'd be doing my own thing. You know, if you mess with me, no, don't look at me as no no weak person or whatever, because I will defend myself at at all costs. But that's but that's how win or lose.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

But that's how I'm supposed to be. If if you if you uh you mind your own business and somebody come and mess with you, man, you supposed to defend yourself. That's why it's called self-defense.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

Right. And that's true, but not everybody looks at it that way. Because, you know, a person whether I mean whether or not I'm about to say it the way I'm gonna say it, it is what it is. You know, you got people that are predators out here. Oh yeah. Why not? You you got people that are predators out there, they out there and they they they prey on the weak, you know, especially if you're quiet or whatnot, they look at you as, you know, oh this person, I can get them. They they quiet, they timid, they weak. Not knowing anything about this person. But when that moment comes out the gate, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

And me personally, like, you know, like my my my lady carry, like I I a I say every woman in America need to have one. Every woman in America need to have one. I'm trying to tell you because it's a it's a lot of weirdos out here. There's a lot of weirdos out here, and and and it's it's it's some it's some weird men out here, weird weird people.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Like man, the the thing that get the thing that gets me with guys is you know, if they're out here randomly like hollering at at girls, females or whatever. And don't even know the age of the female. Uh they're out here randomly hollering at them, and the moment that person says no, it's like it's a problem. They lose it, like that that rejection it goes through the roof with them, and before you know it, this girl is girl, young lady, woman is beat up behind telling someone no, you know, like no, no, thank you. No, I don't, you know, and they after that you want to be left alone, but it's like that that rejection from that person, like they can't take it, and so many people's egos really and truly get in the way of a lot of stuff, like some people they don't they don't know how to to let their ego go because they never had to though.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

They always got what they wanted. The people that always do that always got what they wanted. You're not about to tell them no. You're not about listen, I won't be like Kevin Gates. But you mess with my daughter, you're dying. Any one of mine, you're dying.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Hey, he said it.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Sorry I'm I'm gonna say it in my mind. Hey, hey, like for real. I'm gonna put it like this.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

It be that way. Like it is that way. When you come when it comes to your own, especially your own and in and family or whatnot, if you're like that with them, you are going to defend, you're gonna defend them. You know, you're gonna go to back for them. No, no matter what.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

And all these men that be hitting on women, y'all some weak ass motherfuckers, man. Y'all some weak ass cows, man. I swear to God, I I I know a couple on right now. We know a couple on right now, like the weak ass motherfucking niggas, bruh. Like, can't get with it. Bruh, hey, it's like this. If you that type of man, you you need to be by yourself. You need to be able to put out put yourself on the island. Like, for real. Like, we don't we don't we don't do that where I come from. If right you come across me, I'm smashing you. I don't care. That's crazy, man.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

I I just simply can't get with that. Now, if a woman gets into it with a man or a man, either way, either way, and one, it doesn't matter who walks away from one another. It's dead. Let that person walk, whether it be the man or the woman. If they walk away, let them walk. Okay, let them walk, let them walk, let them put them away. Don't touch him, don't nothing.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

But one but one thing for sure, one thing for certain. You know you got these females out here provoking these men too.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Like, if if you're a woman that provoking that man, and then he put his hands on you, don't call the police because you provoke that man to do that. You provoke that man to do that, even though it was still wrong.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

You know, I I don't care for that. Let me try this to see what you do. Man, it's when you try it and you and then you get the response, you know, you get the response from the person like the response. Now, now you in your feelings, but you don't like the response. Okay, you don't like the response. That is true. They don't like the response. Now they all in their feelings, they mad, okay? They ready to fight and call their cousins or whoever. No, no, no, uh-uh, no, that's what you get. Leave people alone. Quit trying to see what a person's gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

Stop poking the bed at you.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

You know, stop it.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

They bite you, don't get mad, they bit you. Like, that's so many people in this world need to understand that, bro. Mind your business. Like, mind you, stay out of your business. Just just stay out of the way. You won't be in, you won't be in no confusion, no, no BS. You stay out, stay out people's way and just mind your own.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

And but you for the for the life of me, you just got people that simply do not know how to do that. They don't, they gotta antagonize you in any way, shape, form, or fashion. I know, because I've been through it. You know, I've been through it with my father. I can couldn't stand his ass. I'ma just be I'ma just be God honest. I couldn't stand him.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

I felt the same way about my.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

I'd be minding my own business, not saying nothing, not doing nothing, just being quiet. And next thing I know, your brother. Bothering me for whatever reason. You don't there is no reason. Like you do it just to be doing it. And I I can't stand that.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Me either though. Leave me the hell alone. Why you press my buttons on a good day? You know it's a good day. I told you I woke up in a good day, but you wanna press my buttons to the point where I have a bad day. And then when I leave and don't come back for a couple days, you be mad at me. You push me to the point. You put me to the limit and I don't want to be around you no more.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

I understand why you're gonna get mad because somebody made the choice to get the hell away from you.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Because they can't take that no or that distance from somebody. In the end, you don't get what you want because the person is not gonna give you that, not gonna give you the benefit of the satisfaction of you winning. Like I just leave. So nobody wins. Cool down, we'll have our space. And we'll we'll come back and talk about it. We can't talk about it, I'll just leave again. And come back when we can talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Oh well. Oh, oh, oh well. You know, bottom line, oh well, you know. Some people can't, you know, you're right. Some people can't handle, some people can't handle that.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

And and and a lot of people be wanting the truth. But when you when I tell you the truth, you don't know how to take it. You thought you were gonna get a different response than what I gave you. But I I'm sorry, you asked for the truth. I'm letting you know. I'm I'm just letting you know how it is. I ain't I ain't shouldn't go nothing with you.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm the I'm one of the last people on earth. I'm one of the last I'm I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm one of the last people on earth that you want to get the truth from.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

But but listen, I'm I'm looking for the truth. Give me the truth. Don't you know?

SPEAKER_03 24:12

I'm I'm going to be blatantly honest with you because I don't know no, I don't know no other way to be.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

But but but a lot of people need that. They just don't know if they need it or not. And some and some people got you gotta push that on them.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

No. Some uh some people I you know what I always get told it's my deliverance. And I'm like, oh, oh, it is.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Fuck a deliverance, long as you get delivered. Like, like intact.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Intact at that. Because if you if you ask me something, I'm going to be blatantly honest with you enough to the point to where I can visually draw you what I'm saying. Paint that picture. I will do it. I will visit visibly draw it for you. And then when it when it plays out with that person, and they'll be in their head, like, oh my gosh, she said that was gonna happen. Or this was this or that, yeah. Because I'm I'm not like one of those, oh, oh, and when and then when this stuff happened to you, then when stuff happened to you, now you like You know how I react to it. Like that she ain't say this was gonna happen. Or that was gonna happen. I gave you the whole truth, nothing but a truth. But I yeah, so help you guys.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

I am a little more so you understand where I'm coming from.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

Most definitely. I mean, I I'll give you I give you something right now.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

I I give you four or five examples of that shit and then see if if you which one you wanna pick from. Because they're all they're all in the same, the truth. I'm gonna tell you what.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

Uh I had uh, what is it? Uh a bariatric group that I used to go to. I had a bariatric group after I got my um bariatric surgery. And um I would go, it was once a month. I would go once a month to the group meeting, right? I would go once a month. And we we got on the subject of your bowel's not moving. Okay, okay. Okay, we got on the subject of that. I'm I'm gonna be nice about it.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Oh no, don't be nice. No, I'm saying people need to hear what it is. Oh, oh that oh, oh, when I go listen, but listen. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

When I get when I get to the part, no, then you're gonna be like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Oh no, no, no. I'm I'm saying that because some people might be trying to get that procedure done and they need to need an insight.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Oh, oh, I'm not done. Hold up. Hold up, I'm I'm not I'm nice, but you know, I'm gonna be graphic about what I gotta say. So, so we're we're all in a group and um talking about, you know, your bowels not moving, like you're only going like once a week or something like that. So I here I go in the group. I said, well, look, I'm gonna tell you right now, this is the problem I have. I said, I when I go, I said, I'm shitting out a log, okay, and it hurt like hell. My booty hole be throbbing all damn day. I mean throbbing.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

You ain't been using that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Okay, so guys, guys, gay, gay dudes, that be that be taking it back there like that.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

More pound to you. More pounding back.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

You can take the pounding back there. Hey, nigga, you got more strength than I do in my life. I was chicken out logs like this in the toilet. I'm not lying to you. I swear to God, my like I said, my booty hole throbbing fire. I was done. I like that. I'm gonna tell you something. That shit wore me out so bad. I'm gonna tell you, this shit wore me out so bad, I had to go lay down and take a nap. Man, it wore me out. They got buttons. I I'm in the group, and this is what I'm saying. And the I forgot the lady's name. The the counselor, she was sitting next to me and she kept hitting me like, oh my god, no, don't say that. No, it needs to be said. They got they got it. It needs to be said, motherfuckers. It needs to be said. So it's I'm gonna say it. Now, after after it was all said and done, okay, this this lady, she was real very, very shy, comes up to me and she was like, um, I you know, you you told your story in the group and everything. And she was like, if you're having pro hold on now, if you're having problems like that, she was like, You can go to CVS or Walgreens and get fiber gummies. So I said, okay, I kept that in mind. I said, All right, I'm gonna go get fiber gummies, right? Boom. I get off work one night or whatever, and I go to Walgreens. And I I said, Well, these damn things are expensive. $13 and some change a bottle.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

For like what?

SPEAKER_03 29:28

$165. I can't remember how many for some fiber gummies. Okay, so I said, Well, I'm just gonna get one bottle. Fire. Okay. So at that time, I'm in my room, I'm chilling, and I'm menstruating. So I want something sweet. Okay. I wanted something sweet.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Y'all see what it's going? I do a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

I see what's going on. I wanted something sweet, y'all. I was craving something sweet so bad. And I'm in that room, and the only thing I had sweet in that room was the fiber gummies. Oh why?

SPEAKER_02 30:14

How many? How many? That that was the question. How many? How many?

SPEAKER_03 30:20

I had just opened a bottle. I had just opened it that day. I had just opened a bottle. Y'all, y'all. Y'all know how real players do with them sunflower seeds.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

That was me. That was me throwing back them fiber gummies. I like to get out. I ate a half a bottle of fiber gummies, right? Oh. So I'm gonna say good right now. I'm gonna say probably about in between two and four o'clock in the morning. In between that time, in between about two and four o'clock in the morning, I'm laying in the bed. My stomach woke me up.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Sweating.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

My no, my stomach woke me up. It was like if you think I'm playing, I'm I'm telling you that truth. My stomach did that and it dropped. So y'all know, you know, if when you gotta go and let your stomach drop and you break out of sweating, I'm trying to tell you, you gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Give butt nigga none.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

Give butt nigga none. Man, let me tell you, I got up, I went to that bathroom, and y'all, I damn near shitted out my life. Like, it went back, it went back to 1889. Damn. Like, I shitted out my entire life. Back 1889. That's before your life. Okay, and I was born in 1974. Okay, so I and it it happened, it happened three times.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Listen.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

Shout out to um Baltimore Sewer System. I love y'all.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

You need to shout out to every company like that.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

I went three, I lied to y'all now, I went three times. And when I say everything out of me, like my stomach, my stomach looked like a washboard. A washboard. Do you hear me? Like my stomach was woo. I had nothing in there. If I drunk, if I went to go drink water, it was like doop, doop, doop, like the droplets. Like I I felt as if I could hear the stuff the water dropping. Oh man. I was done. And I say after that, I was like, okay, I was so weak. Y'all, I was so weak, but I I was not weak to the point to where I could not take a shower. I took me a shower.

unknown 33:11

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

And y'all, when I say I took that shower and I laid down in that bed, sleep. When I woke up, my whole entire side of the face looked like something from out of a horror movie. Because my neck was twisted and my whole entire face was pushed in like this. It was in. So it looked like I had half a face. Because I looked in the mirror, I was like, sleeping good.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

I was like, yeah, that's that's what that's what that trauma shit.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Hey, I look I couldn't even wipe the slog from my face because I was just done. I slept so damn good, I was like, speaking of sleep, I said, was it good for you as it was for me? Hold up, hold up, hold up. I'm about to say hold up, hold up. So the following month, right? Now I can't wait to get back the following month, after the flabbergumbies and everything, the following month, I couldn't wait. I could not wait to get back to that group. Oh, I was ready. Locked and loaded, boom, ready. Yep, yep, just like that. I was ready. I sat down next to that that that counselor again and I let it rip. She was like, oh my god, oh my god. Everything with her was oh my god, I can't believe you said that. Believe it! Because I said it. It happened. I I said, um, uh while I was in the group, the the lady, I don't I don't even remember her name, but the lady that told me about the fiber gummies, I pointed right at her. I said, Miss, I said, I want to thank you. Both me and my booty hole thank you.

SPEAKER_04 35:02

Oh shit. Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Yes, ma'am. Both me and my booty hole thanked you. Yes, I did in the group. Yes, I did. Oh man. Yes, I did. I said, y'all, I the story that I just told is what I told to them in the group, and they was like, I can't believe this. I need some motherfucking gummies. But by me being graphic with it, they had a general idea, like, yeah, ma'am, yeah. I and I had a couple of people, I had the head nods out there, they were shaking their heads, like, yeah, you you telling the truth, yeah, you you're not lying. You telling thank you and thank you.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

But yeah, but look, they didn't want to come out and tell that shit. No, but they didn't want to come out and tell that shit.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

I did, because I I I feel like this when it comes to being honest and and telling your truth, I'm not out here for looks, and I never have been, you know, because some people are so scared about what makes them look like this, what makes them look like that, you know, to the point where me, I I got over that a long time, I got over that a long time ago. Oh, if I was you, I wouldn't have said, I wouldn't have said that because I ain't out here trying to look like a nigga. I don't care. I do not care. The most let me tell you something, the most embarrassing stuff that happens to you, I guarantee it's happened to somebody else, and they're delighted that you have something in common because now you got something in common, and now nowadays, okay, not letters or anything like that. You're getting inboxed. Now you're you're getting inboxed, and somebody in that inbox is saying, Thank you for telling that story, because I went through the same thing, I felt like that. And I did not have the courage to come out and say, but thank you for telling your story. Yeah, because I don't care how stuff makes me look, because I'm a human being and things are gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

But the thing about it is, you only live one life. Hey, you only live one life, and guess what? Whatever happens to you, it just happens. You gotta keep pushing.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

It does, and there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it, and I'm I'm gonna tell you, like, I have so many embarrassing moments, things that have happened to me, you know, things that have happened to me in my life, and I'm I'm I'm not embarrassed at all to say.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

But no. That's the thing though, we all have those moments, but the strong people only the ones that, well, not the strong people only, I feel like the ones that actually can come out and say their say what's say what they went through, those people that should be out here mentoring people and actually like giving people motivation to actually keep pushing out here.

SPEAKER_03 38:04

I get it to them.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

I I'll give it to you, bro. Like, you you got like I'm saying like now, the generation now is soft, they sensitive as hell. You can't you can't you can't say nothing to them, or they they ready to shoot you, like bro, like it's like this. You only get one life. You're gonna live your life in a prison cell or a grave, bro, or you're gonna enjoy it out here and not have no worries about nothing that nobody cares to say about you. Guess what? You was born alive, you're gonna die, you're gonna die, you're you was born by yourself, you're gonna die by yourself. If it is what it is. I feel like if if somebody hating on you, let them hate. Let them hate them hate all day. No why? Because you ain't the only person that's hating on. Hate me. Please hate me. Hate me.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

I I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Look, you more when you hate me, you more than we do better.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

Okay. If I if I happen to pop up on your timeline, you see my face, and you in disgust, like I can't stand that man.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

Hey, guess what? Thumbs down.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Hey, do this. Scroll. Scroll. You could very well do that. I don't care. Because I know it'd be people, I tell you right now, it'd be people on my timeline sometimes. And I look and I'd be like, scroll.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

But the thing about I will but the thing about it is if you hating, why you following me? Why you on my timeline? Why why you on my page? Why you looking at my my my profile?

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Because they want they want to know.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

But you wanna know, but you don't know, but you hate me so much.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

But they wanna know, but but that's that's they they hate to know. That's hypocrite.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

That is that is contradicting yourself.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

Big time.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

But they can't help it. You can't help it.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

Just just don't worry about me. They can't help it. Huh? They can't help, they can't help it because they they want to know what's going on with you so bad. Why why is he why is special? Like they they want to keep up with what's going on with you. So the minute, the minute you have a downfall, something bad happens, or whatever have you, you know, then they want to be the ones to say, aha, aha.

unknown 40:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

But but when you say aha, aha, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna bounce back from this and come back ten times stronger than what you thought I was. Just because you say aha.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Just because you say they do, and then they want to tell the streets. You know, I used to tell my brother, I used to tell him, I said, look, let me tell you something. You don't have any friends. And I said, the streets have no love for you at all. Like you up now, and the minute you go down, oh, oh, oh, y'all know that, y'all know that, y'all know that dude, um, D-Rob, this happened, that happened, oh no. Oh, you want the streets to talk about you when you up, when everything is good with you. But the moment you down, you don't like that. You don't want the streets talking about you that way because you want to always stay up. And when you when it comes to the streets, you're not always gonna be up. You're not always gonna be up. It's gonna be ups and downs. And you gotta know how you gotta know how to maneuver through that.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

I ain't gonna lie, I see it different. I see the streets ain't nothing but down. Because you gotta look over your shoulder every second. You gotta understand who you who your opposition is, not for the street, not for the street niggas or the police. You got your best friends backed on you. It's it's it ain't nothing but downs. Like, yeah, yeah, the money might be good for right now, but once you really get up there, people gonna handle you so bad. You you're gonna be looking on your shoulder to the point where you can't trust nobody around you. So it's all downs. It's all downs. Like, what's what's what's what's good about it? Give give me give me a good example, and I I I'm pretty sure I can counteract it. There, honestly, there really is no good example. There is there, it's no good in the street.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

There is no, that's I mean, when I say when I say ups, like you out there and you making money and you up. That's it. You you making money, but yeah, you out there and you making money, you up, but you throwing rocks at the penitentiary. But you got all of this, everything of what you just said, all of that stuff is over here. And you just got a little bit of that, you know. Okay, you you good, you make up money, but yeah, everything of what you said, all that stuff is over there. But so the the downs outweigh the ups when it comes to the streets, basically.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

But it's only ups if you got a structure behind you to the point where your whole team loyal. Ain't no loyalty out here in the streets, uh, you know that. No. Ain't no loyalty out in the streets. It's it's all it's always thieves, it's always con artists, there's always something going on. So the street life is is dead now. We was little kids, man. Look, you can you can be in the streets, man, and be okay. It's yeah, it was it it was OGs that would tell you, hey man, get out of the streets, man. You don't supposed to be out here.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

I'm gonna tell you right now, my uh my great uncle he uh he had a uh barber shop in Newark, New Jersey on Washington, I think either it's Washington Street or Washington Avenue, but it's Washington. I remember that in in Newark. He ran a barbershop, right? And the streets looked out for him like he and he looked out for the streets. So when boosters back then was boosting, ooh, they were boosting. Oh yeah. Oh, they were boosting. The barbershops were hot spots. My great uncle stayed on the swivel. He stayed on the swivel. Cause he would say to me, he was like, You gotta watch them. You gotta watch them. You gotta watch these niggas out here because they they not right. They ain't no good. You gotta you gotta watch these niggas at all times. And my great uncle, you know, he passed away at the age of 94. Good life. 93, 94. Good life. And uh he he used to he used to say that. So I remember um back then, you know, if you could shop at Macy's, oh, you are everything. Oh yeah. Okay, so my great uncle had these immaculate boosters that would come by selling him stuff. You know what I mean? And if anybody, anybody from the city, if y'all know, y'all know boosters, if y'all knew boot, if y'all knew boosters like that back in the day, you gave them the list.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

And I'm gonna let you know now. You gave them the list. We don't call we don't call them boosters no more, but they crackheads now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

Well boosters. I'm I'm you know, boosters.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, but call them crackheads.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

That ain't that ain't crazy. No, but look.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

But look, but look, we but you know Baltimore and South and South got all your own different lingos.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

Oh, well, everybody do. But I'm just saying, I'm just saying boosters. I don't want to call them crackheads because that's that's drugs, and you know, that's a downfall. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I I can distinctly remember my mother being on the phone with my with my uh uncle Sidney.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Yeah, man. Boosters, boosters. I got you, boss, boosters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

So my um my great uncle, I I remember my mom was uh talking to him. We were in Germany at the time. Matter of fact, we were in Boots Park, Germany, and uh um my my great uncle he was busy, like I said, he stayed on the twivel, he was cutting hair, doing whatever. So he was like, here, Jean, um tell her the kid's size and this and that. So he handed the phone to the lady, and both the lady and my mom is on the phone. My mom gave sizes, all that stuff. Man, when I say my great uncle sent a ginormous size box of shoes and clothes, I can remember look, y'all. I lied to you not, I lied to you not. I can remember looking at tags. The tags weren't even off the clothes. I wore this silk purple shirt. I wore the hell out of that shirt. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I wore the hell out of it. That tag Macy's. Okay, that shirt at that time was $72. I can't remember the change, but it was $72. I remember that. Yeah. And then if y'all remember back in the day when the the patent leather shoes came out, well, me and my sister, we both had the the same kind patent leather shoes with the oh my god, like it looked like a like a half moon, a star, and all of that, and behind it, it had like different colors. Yeah, it had like the shapes cut out in the shoe, and it had like the diff. Yeah, that we had those patent leather shoes, wore them things out. Yeah, we did. We wore them out. Patent leather shoes, like we were it when we went to school with our with our gear on, everything that my uncle sent us, like uh it was Christmas in the summertime for us because that was our our school clothes, you know. My great uncle, like I said, he sent that great big box, man. Boy, we man, I'll never forget them clothes. And then he said, I remember uh we were in his apartment. I remember we was in his apartment, and uh oh my god, he had a ton of leather coats. He had a ton of leather coats, yeah, he did. And he told us, y'all go over there and go pick one. Uh-huh. Y'all go over there and go, y'all go over there and go pick out which one you want. Pick out which one we got. Leather coats. Real leather. Real leather coats that had the the lining, that had the lining inside. Mine's had the the drawstring. It was over in Germany with it too. Yep. Had the drawstring, had the drawstring in it with the hood.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

That's that real joint right there.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

With the hood, no furk.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

With the hood, no furk.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

With the hood. That's that's that's that real joint. Never never, never forget that, boy. I mean, when I say the streets treated my uncle right, and my uncle treated the streets right, that's how it was back then. Oh, like, but like I we look out for you, you look out for us.

SPEAKER_02 49:41

Yeah, in that sense. But yeah, but they were called crazy. But but but that's the that's the good side of the streets, like the happy time. Oh my god. Those are the happy times that you rarely see like that. Because you can you can remember that to the T. That's why that's why it was a good time. But you know there's some times that it was bad that you was like, eh, you shouldn't be out here right now at this time of night, like this age. Nah, like you you know some things going on out here, like just speaking from being from South Carolina, like, I never been to Baltimore, so I but I heard stories that it get crazy.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

Oh, I oh I uh Oh now you talking about language. I can tell you about Baltimore with two. See, but let's know, like West Side, Sand Town.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

I can tell you I ain't never been up north, but Park Heights. Me personally, I can't do that cold. I can't do that cold. So, and like I like space. Like, I heard everything up there closest hell. Closest. It depends on where you go. See, see, that's what I'm talking about. Like, it depends on where you go in Maryland. I need me a guide if I go somewhere like that, because I'm not walking in the wrong neighborhoods.

SPEAKER_03 51:00

Well, I'm gonna told you guys what you need. You want to go to Maryland? I'll show I'll show you. Oh, yeah, you know, you know, Maryland.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

I'll show you where to go, where not to go. I don't I don't mind traveling. It's just that I don't like the going nowhere that I don't know. Feel me? Like uh, y'all. You you know, you know we ain't we ain't been down here. I ain't been out here too many times.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

I'ma tell you this. I'ma tell you this. When uh what is that MT MTA? Because down here is martyr. So MTA, right? M MTA had it, I think like I think it was like a day or two. It was always in October. Yeah, it was always in October. And uh where you get to ride for free. You get to ride for free anywhere. That meant um the light rail, the subway, the um, the buses, and Amtrak. Amtrak. Why October? Uh uh because that was the month for that. I don't know. You know, that was the month, that was the month for that. Okay, October. That's all I remember. You know, that was the month for it. October. They just had it for that that time. Yeah. Everybody, you know, they designate, you know, you know, different companies designate stuff for, you know, different reasons.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

That's that's dope that they give you a free month. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:40

No, it wasn't a month, it was like a day or two or something like that. That's good too. You like that? Well, and I tell you what, it was good for the boosters. Yeah, it was. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now, it was good for the boosters. They took all this stuff jumping away. Man, let me tell you. I would we um at the time we were living on on uh no at the time we were living on um uh McCullough Street. 1918 McCullough Street. Ah, never forget that shit. On the third floor. On the third floor, and I remember going up to um towards up up um North Avenue, I went up to like North Avenue, almost up there by um Pennsylvania Avenue, like Penn North up that way somewhere. And um, man, no, Utah Street. My bad, Utah Street, Utah Street. That's it, that's it, that's it. Because if you come on McCullough Street, if you walk towards North Avenue, it's like that curve right there, and that's Utah Street. So they were like right there on Utah Street. Man, when I say they had Nike for days, they had they had Nike t-shirts, they had sneakers, they was getting rid of all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

They had the tracks, too.

SPEAKER_03 54:15

No, no, they had t-shirt, like a mob of teacher like Nike with the tags on it, boosters, they said we hey we went all the way to DC. We went all the way to DC and got this. I was like, what the what at that time? Guess what? At that time, I wasn't wearing Nike. I I wasn't wearing Nike at all. It wasn't until probably 2000 when I first started wearing Nike. Because I was so against it for the longest. I was a I was a rebot kid, so I didn't buy any of them stuff. And I told him, I said, hey, if you got rebots in there, I'll buy that. No, all we got is Nike, all we got is Nike. We gotta hurry up and get rid of this stuff. Man, boosters was out there getting rid of all them Nike. Man, get two for five. I miss them. I miss them. I'm gonna tell you right now, I miss them boosters in Baltimore. I got one right now. Bath and Body Bath and Body Works. I got a couple in Columbia Venisa. Alright. We'll talk.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

For real.

SPEAKER_03 55:21

We'll real talk, we'll talk. Okay. Let me tell you something. We were on we were on North Avenue on the west side. And these guys coming down the street. Bath body works, bath and body. I'm talking about the big bottle. Look up girl, pull up, pull up into the curb. Bath and body work, man. We load it up. Look, we trying to get we already know that they've trying to hurry up and get rid of it. Look, look, and this is how they talk. This is how they talk. I like to y'all sell my cousin baby.

SPEAKER_01 55:57

Look at the baby just now.

SPEAKER_03 55:59

If anybody jump on this live from Baltimore, you know. So we there and they do this. I'll get I'll get this real quick, the hood look.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

Hey, Miss Blake, look. I'll give you, I'll give you two in for playing house.

SPEAKER_03 56:20

Alright, you got it. And I throw and I'll throw in the extra 10 bucks. Oh shit. Thank you, Miss Blake. Thank you, Miss Blake. Yay, you're right. Like, come on. Pew. They are gone down the street. We already know what they about to do. That goes without saying. Um, that's one man. Look, let me tell you something. Um let me tell y'all, look, hey, um, big ooh, ooh, we, yeah. Big shout out. Ooh, we, yeah. Big shout out to Santa Maria.

unknown 56:52

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_03 56:52

No, no, no. This a this is a carry-out spot. Santa Maria. Fool joint. Yeah, a carry-out spot. At the end of, at the end of S at the end of Stockton Street. When they what is what is the street? Stockton. At the end of Stockton Street. And I forgot, huh? What do they sell? Oh shit, they sell um subs and pizza, uh, slices of cake, uh, salads. Yeah, Santa Maria. They've been there for for a good minute. At the end of uh Stockton Street on the on the what on the west side. Santa Maria's, yes, sir. I happen to be in there because that that was my spot, y'all. I would go in there and I would go get me some pizza fries. Yeah, yeah. Oh, when Big Backing was backing. Pow.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Wow, that was that was that was a big back.

SPEAKER_03 57:45

I would go in there and I would go get me some pizza fries in a in a in a sub, and that that'll last me for like a couple of days, right? So while I'm in there, dude comes in there with you know one of them one of them big uh what are they like plastic like zip bags or whatever? Um you know what I'm talking about? Like them big plastic bags. No, like like a grocery bag or something, like you load stuff up in it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them, one of them big bags. Well, the young the young man that came in there, believe it or not, he worked at Mars Grocery Store, right? Anyone know Mars Grocery Store? The only one I knew was out all the way out York Road in Towson, right? So I'm in Santa Maria's, chilling, got my food, I'm waiting. And dude comes up to me and says, Hey, you wanna you wanna buy some steaks? He said, I just got off work. He said, Hold up. He said, You want to buy some steaks? I just got off work. And I said, Oh yeah. I said, for how much y'all? I think they were Porterhouse steaks that he just got. Porter house steaks. 20 in between, I'm gonna say I bought four of them and they were in between 21 and 26 apiece. He said, Look, I'm trying to hurry up and get everything is I'm trying to hurry up and get rid of these. Okay. I said, how much how much you want for? He said, for you gotta give y'all a hood. He said, for you, $15. I said, for all four. I said, all right. I said, do you take change? He said, is it money? I said yes it is. I said, wait here. Do you know I took my fat ass back back to my back to my spot and I dumped out all that change and I was counting and then I had dollars on me too, so he saw the dollars, right? So I can't remember how much change I counted out, but back then, if you know, you know, if you had the um the pullover windbreakers that had the pouch in the front, it had the pouch in the front. Talk about jiggling, baby. Ll, you were singing about me, buddy. You just didn't know it then. I was jiggling. I had all that change in front of my pouch. And I went back there and I said, Look, I said, if you want to make sure you know it's you know all there, I said, you can count it out before I walk away from you. And he looked at me, he's like, I believe you. He said, I believe it's all there. No problem. Four portal house. He's a booster. One, two, three, four. Bang. Okay. I walk back to my spot, I put him in the um refrigerator or whatnot, and y'all, at that time I was working, um I was working at this company called Maryland News Distributing Company. And uh I would get off work like probably in between like two, four o'clock in the morning, something like that. Like, I would get off that time, but I I wouldn't get home until around that time. So I get home, and I come in there, because I went to the grocery store, I bought me some onions, some vegetables, and you talk about somebody eating like mufasa.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

Eating like a king.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

I was eating like moofasa every day. Every day, I was eating like mufasa. Porterhouse. Porterhouse steak. I was eating like mufasa. Man, I came to work and told my co-workers, they laughing at me because they know I'm not from there. You know what I mean? So I told you, shit, I'm eating like mufasa. Man, all the shit I used to buy off the street. You know, you know uh tote uh tote umbrellas?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:13

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:14

Anybody know them? Tote umbrellas are not cheap.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:16

Yeah, bruh, they're not. They are that's like the the Bentley, the Bentley guy. The echelon. Yeah, of course. Of umbrellas. If you ain't if you ain't got the real Bentley one, that's the one you're supposed to be getting.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:28

Like tote umbrellas, y'all. It was a guy walking around. He had the the tall one. So, you know, if you pop it open, it chew. It's out there. Like about a good six or eight people could probably fit up under that umbrella.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:47

Yeah, it's it's it's like one of them um them patio goddamn patio one, but it's a personal one, light as hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:54

Yes, I had that, I had that for the longest in my trunk. And let this girl that I was dating use it and never got it back. But anywho, dude come down the street with the with the umbrella, umbrellas and whatnot, trying to get rid of them. Trying to get rid of them. So I'm on Pennsylvania Avenue. Now I'm at the uh laundromat with my man Myron. I wonder if he's okay. Uh I ain't heard from him. But I hope he's okay. Out there with my man Myron, dude comes down the street, got those umbrellas, trying to get rid of them. I'm like, God damn. I said, that's umbrella for real. So I said, how much you how much you selling them for? Give me $10. I looked at that umbrella and you know how much that umbrella costs? Almost a hundred dollars.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:54

I was about to say they they run from a hundred to like three hundred.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:59

He said, give me ten. He was like, give me ten dollars. You look like you got money. How you look like you got money? I don't know, but that's what they will all say to me. You look like you got money.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:12

If if you clean, you look like you got money.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:16

I don't know where that came from, but okay. So lo and behold, lo and behold, you know, I I I don't never pull money out in front of nobody. I don't I don't never do that. I I'm not with that. If I don't know exactly what's in my pocket, I'm gonna pull it out in front of nobody.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:31

I'm I'll turn my back on you.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

I'm not turning my back on you either. You can call me poop. So I went back in the laundromat to, you know, go check my clothes anyway. And then I, you know, took the 10 out, came out, gave me the 10. All right, thank you, Miss Late. All right, thank you, thank you. All right, but going, man, they got him umbrella. But them them them people in Baltimore, boy, I I ain't never mad. I miss riding public transportation. Because that's most of that's where they were. But don't y'all got on my hair? What? Don't y'all got trans? Yeah, but it's it's not the same. It's a whole different vibe. Way different vibe. Way different vibe. Hell, I I used to buy uh when it was real popular and popping back then, degree. Three for five. Hey, hey, let me get that.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:26

Oh, yeah, talking about deodorant.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:28

Yeah, three for five. Hey, let me get that. Come here, hey, come here.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

I bought yeah, I bought fabric softener.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:38

I bought fabrics, I bought fabric softener, uh the the what is it, the the eight count of dove soap. Guy was on the train. I was going home and I didn't my money was in the bank. I didn't have no money on me. And I told him, I said, Hey, hey, I said, if you can just because he we got off the train. I got the money. I said, I can go around to the ATM. I said, if you, you know, if you if you wait or whatever, and I get changed. Alright, I can do that. No problem. Alright. I'll get off with you. He got off with me. Man, I came home with a count, dug bar soap. Toothbrush.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

It's that real shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:24

Toothbrush. Man, I man, I bought so much stuff off the street. It's ridiculous. I miss it. I miss it. And I used to tell my mom. You know what's so crazy? I used to tell my mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:37

Those were the good days, though. Man. You can't do that now. You can't. Everybody trying to scam you now. You can't do that. You can't do it no more. At all. Like it you can you can see with your door unlocked back then. Man, look, you gotta have four or five locks in your door, boy. We live back, man. For real, for real.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:57

I I miss it. I ain't gonna tell no lie. I miss it. If you had a good hookup, you had a hookup. I remember we had somebody come to the house. I'm a faithful dude if you got a good hookup. If you if you like, if they their thing was just give them some time. Because they had to go get the stuff. Oh yeah. And then they'll come by the house, dump out all the stuff. This is what you wanted, right? You said this is what you want. Their thing is, if they went out and went through the trouble of getting all that stuff, at least buy it. Buy the shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:30

Don't do them like that. I'm buying everything. Man. I'm less now. I'm coming with $100. Man. Guess what? You might say $50. I'm still gonna give you that $100. Guess what? I know you're gonna keep coming back. I know you're gonna keep coming back with the product, man. If if I if I tell you I need t-shirts every two weeks, man, faithful, you want that $20 every time.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:52

I and you know what? Uh food stamps? I didn't even I didn't even know how that shit went. I didn't know how it went.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:59

Don't even talk about food stamps.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:01

Honestly, I didn't know how it went. And this guy got me. This guy got me. My ex cussed me out for filth. I was like, I because I didn't know. But man, once I found that, oh, it's on and poppin'. So I know now, okay. Okay, like whole dollars. So if whole dollars, like if they got a hundred worth of foods that you give them half, you give them fifty dollars. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I had to learn that in the streets because I didn't know that. I didn't know how it went. I didn't know how it went. And see, I had went and at the time, I don't even think they're around anymore. Um, the grocery store stopped shopping safe in Baltimore. I went down there on um Pennsylvania Avenue, and uh I had already gone in, I bought whatever I wanted, came out, and it was this tall, I never forget this tall big lady that was sitting outside. She was sitting, she was sitting there just like this. She looked at me, she when she looked up and saw me, she was like, hey, big girl. Turn around and I look. She was like, You want to buy some things they always get me after I didn't spent my money. They don't never get me before I go in the store. It's not until after I come out the store, then they want to come with the shit. And I'm looking like, I don't spend my fucking money now. I'm like, I'm like, y'all some ruthless ass people. Like y'all just do me in any go kind of way.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:45

How can you approach somebody that's saying, hey, big girl? Cause she didn't know my name. Excuse me. Nah. I didn't take it as disrespect. Oh, I forgot you was you said you was in Baltimore. Baltimore, yeah. So y'all's up north and start thing. Yeah. They don't say excuse me. Right. No, oh yes, they do. Uh in Baltimore they do? Oh, they real big on that. Excuse me? Oh, see, but look, look, see, look. Having somebody that always lived in New York, okay. I think every northern person is the same. Everything like the same.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:18

But like, northern, they don't say excuse me, they'll bump you and don't even care. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:22

Uh uh-uh. Baltimore, uh, excuse me. If you don't move, if if you're in that way, oh they'll haul off, excuse me. And oh, you jump, you move out that way. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:32

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:33

Oh, that's it. No, Baltimore, no, they're not.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:37

Look, look now. You you you making me want to go visit. Go ahead. Because you know, I never visit New York because that that that right there. I n bro, I would never, like, that's being it's it's so many of y'all. Like, you don't say, but I will understand because if they gotta say excuse me 20,000 times a day. No, because they're bumping too many people.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:59

Look, let me tell you something. New York is New York. And if you don't know how to like deal with new New York people, you're gonna think 24-7 that they are so mean and so disrespectful. And then it's not that. That's just the way they are. And I I learned that, you know, because if they say something to you, you know, if they talk shit to you, you talk shit back. And it's like when you talk shit back, they like, oh, okay, she can, all right, she can hold on. Man, look, I I would. I talk shit right back.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

But but that's I I get that from my homeboy too. He's from New York too. So he was like, bro, we we just want we just want somebody to interact with us the same way we interact with you. Like, I'm like, bro, I don't, I don't, I feel, I I feel that's rule, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:49

Just uh But by you being in the South, you would take it that way.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:53

Yeah, but see that's why I say if I say like I would have to I would have to adjust if I ever go up there or or live up there or something like that. I'll have to adjust to it to the point where like it's like I understand it, but I would really have to like really like I have to live there for a couple years just to get used to it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:14

Yeah, you you would have to, I would have to. You would have a hard you would have a hard time adjusting because you you're not used to it in no way, shape, form, or fashion. So like when New Yorkers or anybody I know when they speak, you know, for some people, you know, they take aggression. Like they're real, like they're real aggressive. Aggressive, it is like it's like they're aggressive, they're rude, they're mean to you. No, that's just that's just the way they are, you know, and even being down here and coming across, you know, people from up top or anything like that. I get it, you know. I don't I don't take your your attitude or anything like that into offense because it's not directed towards me. So I know how to I know how to deal with them. It wasn't until I moved down here, you know, that they didn't know how to, well, I'm not gonna say they did know how to take me, but I was too aggressive for them. Because I spoke up and I spoke my mind and I I said how I felt, and I'm not gonna let you do or treat me any old kind of way. Now, before I I moved up north and I was living in um Columbus, Georgia, you know, the way I was in Columbus, Georgia is the way they would want to deal with me now. Because I was a I was shy, I was timid. If you hurt my feelings, I shut down, I didn't have anything to do with you, I didn't say nothing to you, no none of that. Um that was that was just me. You know, I would I would shut down. I was like a a doormat. People walked over, uh walked all over me, you know, and and the whole nine. So, you know, once I, you know, went from being in Columbus, Georgia, and moved up in Baltimore or whatnot, and um after being after being with my exorc blew wide open. And it I it never it never went back the same. So I I learned, you know, to not only speak up for myself, but you know, not let any and everything go by like it's okay. And I'm okay with it. So I I learned. So being down here now and the way that I am now, a lot of them can't, you know, they can't, oh my god, you're too you're rough. You're too aggressive. I don't know. I say what I feel, I say what I think you don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:17

And and that's how I feel too. I feel like if they can't if they can't deal with you, you don't they don't put it around you. That's how I feel. I feel like you you can't deal with who I am or how I am, you shouldn't be around me. That's just me.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:33

True that, but they they can't they can't help it. They they can't help it. You know, when you when you're in good company, you know what I mean? When you're in good company, you want to continue to stay in good company. Granted, yeah, you you sit there with all your like uh I don't like this, or uh, I don't like that, but yet you still want to be in good company. Yeah, you know, yeah, or or I'll get I'll get people like when I say stuff, oh my god, you shouldn't have said it that way. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:06

It came out how it's supposed to come out.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:09

I said it exactly the way I meant it so that you'll get a clear understanding of what I'm saying to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:20

You said it like that so you know I'm serious when I say it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:23

Oh my god, you shouldn't have said it like that. You should have said it. No, you say it like that. I'm not gonna say it like that. You say it like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:32

Take it how I'm saying it. Uh let it go over your head either way. The message has been delivered, if you received it or not.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:40

Okay, all day long.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:46

Don't shoot the messages just because you couldn't get the message. I don't know. People just don't understand, like I'm gonna be me. So you be you.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:59

They understand. Here's the thing they understand, but they want you to be at a way that it's comfortable for them. They want they want you to downsize yourself, yeah. So that they can be comfortable around you, it's for their comfort, not yours.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:18

Fuck your comfort. Hey, all day long.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:22

I'm sorry, bump your comfort.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:23

No, no, no, you said.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:25

Bump your comfort because guess what? The world's not a comfortable space. It is not, it's not a comfortable space anymore. Everything is uncomfortable. Just just doing a job at work is uncomfortable now. Knowing that what you gotta deal with in the world, that is uncomfortable now. So guess what? If I don't be uncomfortable, we all gonna be uncomfortable. Man, look.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:51

That's just the way it goes. Like I had a supervisor when I worked at the post office. I was a letter carrier.

unknown 1:17:59

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:00

Okay. I was a letter carrier for the post office at one point in time. Okay, now they can have that shit. They can have that shit. Boo-boo. Really, I can have that shit. I was a letter carrier. I was over there, what was that? Uh, Wabash. Wabash uh post office. I was over there, and uh my supervisor pulled me in the office. Oh, okay. Now you can she pulled me in the office and was talking to me, and she was like, Look, you are doing a good job. You come to work every day, you do what you're supposed to do. I commend you on that, but you are, you know, slop, you know, at you know, delivering the mail. Now she was being nice about it because that's her position. She can't bluntly come out and say to speak the fuck, whatever. No, so I'm sitting there at that time. I was I had lost weight or whatever, but I was like 200, uh 215 or whatever. But I was thick, I was thick with it. Not sloppy fat, I was thick with it. And uh I sat there and I looked at that woman, I said, look, I can say it, but you can't. My ass is too big to be out there trying to deliver some goddamn mail, okay? And I'm slow and people are complaining. Really, that's what you want to say. But I know you can't say it, so I'll say it for you. Do you know that woman could have opened up her desk drawer and put her head in it and closed it back? Because her eyes got just that big. It was like, she was like, well.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:54

She said what I wanted to say.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:56

She was like, well, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:59

She understands.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:01

She was like, well, okay. And I'm sitting there looking at her, like, yeah, I said it. Because really that's that's what you want to say. Really, that's what you want to say, but I know you can't because of your position, you know, and it can be a a factor of me filing a lawsuit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:17

I I know that for for you know for my size discrimination. Yeah, but but you know, we got some people out there that just say it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:24

Right. But being in the position that she's in, professional position, professional, she couldn't do that. So I did it for her. I did it for. Which which probably probably made her laugh a little bit. It did. It did. Because that woman could have something when I say she was like this, like I can't believe this goddamn girl. Believe it. And the thing and the thing is, I want you to laugh when I say it. And she was like, she she was holding back because she was like this. Don't hold it back with that. She couldn't. Because I was dead serious in her face. But she was but she was nice. She was nice. I give it to her. I forgot her name. And she said to me, she was like, you know, I'm just not gonna throw you to the wolves. She said, I'm not gonna do that to you. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna send you over to collections over there on um Fayette Street, which is the main branch. So I said, okay. I said, well, I thank you for, you know, I thank you for the opportunity. Thank you. Y'all, I dropped my I dropped that damn mailbag right there and went on. From there, I went on to collections and I was driving a two and a half ton truck collecting mail downtown Baltimore. Yeah. I've had some jobs.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:55

It's not a good job, though. It was that was fun too. Well, not in the heat part, but I know it was fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:03

It I tell you what, it was not fun for me. No, no, no, I'm about to tell you, I'm about to tell you, I'm about to tell you. It was not fun for me when I got told before I went on my my route, because I wound up going over to the annex then. Okay, uh they sent me over to the annex to go run routes over there, and then I would, you know, because it was like the annex, the main building, they were like right there, bubble. So I would go over to the annex, and um I would I had a route that I ran, and on this route, you had Baltimore City jail, the half um, like when they when they come out of prison, halfway house. Now it it wasn't a halfway house exactly, not it wasn't exactly that, okay. Then you had Max and Supermax, so they were like, it was one here up the hill, and then I think Supermax was at the bottom, so they were like right next to each other, like boom, boom. Okay, then you had Baltimore City Jail, and on the other side where Baltimore City Jail was, they they had all the other different places uh down the street from it, right? So I had that route, and I got told before I started doing that route, they told me uh I'm letting you know right now that if you just so happen to be in any of those facilities and they call for lockdown, you're gonna be in there lockdown until they release, you know, release the the lockdown, right? So you have Max, Super Max, and I would look up and I would see you know the guys in the towers with the rifles and all of that. That didn't that didn't scare me. I was used to seeing that when I was in elementary school, right? So I would see all of that or whatever, and I'm like, okay, alright. Y'all, I was thinking shook. I think it's shook. And look, I was in Supermax.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:38

Please don't go lie down.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:40

I was in Supermax. I was still driving the the two and a half ton truck with the with the big um with the big cart back there where you dump all the mail in, right? So I'm in Supermax and I'm getting ready to come out of Supermax. Lo and behold, what happens? I'm standing there waiting to go out, right? And that shit was going so that's the door. And mind you, I had a tub, I had a tub that was like y'all can't see. I had a great big tub, I had a big tub, the the big tubs, right? That big, that, that big, that big, right? To put all the mail in. Okay. And I'm standing there with that tub, and meanwhile, that the door is is going. And as it's going, because it's going real slow in front of me, before I knew it, the alarm goes off for the shutdown. So I'm like, I'm gonna say it was like, yo, that much, that much of that door opened, and I lied to you now. If I didn't squeeze my fat ass through that little slap, because the door had stopped. When it was going, and whenever the mama came on, the door stopped. Right? When that door man, that damn door stopped, y'all, I'ma squeeze on my fat ass through that much. Because I was gonna, I'm not, uh, no, I'm not, I'm not gonna be in here like now, no, I'm not, no. The tub, y'all. If y'all would have seen that tub. Poor tub. Fuck that tub. Y'all, I'm yay, I'm gonna yank the living daddy tub. A good three tub. And I pulled it on through, okay, I pulled it on through, and guess what? All the member was still on the tub.

unknown 1:26:47

That's surprising.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:48

All the member was still on the tub, and I was gone. Next thing I know, by the time I pulled that tub out, okay, that much, that much, by the time I pulled that tub through, that that much of the of the out from the from the gate opening, it started back up. Going the other way to close. Y'all are hauled ass. And the only thing I can think of in my mind was if there is a prisoner in the back of this US postal truck, guess what? He's going for a ride. Yep, I'm gonna give him a ride. His first free ride from out of jail. He's gonna get it today because I'm not stopping at all. And I didn't. I did not stop until I got back over there to the main branch. I'm sitting there, I don't hear now. As I'm driving, I don't hear nothing back there. I don't I don't hear nothing back there. So I'm like, okay, I'm good. I'm I'm I'm good. I'm in the clear. Y'all, I hauled ass. And if anybody knows over there where the gels are, it's like a um. What you call it? A bonding. A big bondsman? Bill Bondsman. Or whatever. And the railroad tracks are right there. Y'all. Y'all, let me tell y'all something. I was the Duke's asset. Fuck that track. I was the no, not the train, the train tracks. Cause I was flying. I was flying when I came from that jail. I came down that hill. The train tracks are right there. Everybody knows you're supposed to slow up. Go over the train. No, no, hell no, not me. I was the duke's asset that day. I was like, I was rolling. And it's like once you go over the railroad tracks or whatever, it's like a main street, and you can go up, you can go across because from there they got number like one-way streets going like up and down, north and south, like one-way streets, right? And the side where I was on, it's like I can pull into like the parking lot, and it's like a coffee place or something like that. I didn't do it that day. Doing too much. I I I did. I did. I was flying that truck. I did not care. That two and a half ton truck was flying it in the air. I didn't care. I didn't care. I I got away from that supermax.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:23

And and listen, y'all think that doing time is a good thing sometimes. That street can that street credibility issue. That present time ain't gonna give you no screen credibility. I'd rather be home with my family. Have her. Just and just think about what sis said. She said she was delivering. Male alum got locked up. Oh locked down, locked down with them. And I ain't do nothing. And guess what? She ain't got no DOC. She ain't got no DLC numbers. She ain't no shagos, none of that shit. No. Guess what? That motherfucker shit is scary as hell, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:03

Yeah, okay. When that door and it's moving slow.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:10

And they do that shit on purpose. Everything, everything in prison is designed to make you crazy. A scare tactic. A scary tactic and to put you in a slave mentality.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:23

I can believe that.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:25

Why do you think the walls is gray? Everything is metal and concrete.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:30

Okay. Well, I you know what?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:35

Think about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:36

Hold up. No, you know what? Uh oh my God. I had to go to court. I had to go to court because I was there riding dirty. And on the back road, Chitoga Road, Chatoga Road in Columbus, Georgia, I I um didn't have tags. My temporary tags expired on the car that I bought. That's how you ride dirty, y'all. And I was say, I was saving to get my tags. I was saving to get my tags.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:08

It takes nine, it's 45 to 90 days, y'all. Listen, I understand you can't get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:17

I was about to have a lot of temporary tags. I'm not even gonna lie. I gotta hold it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:25

No, that was that one time. He he he changed a mind. That's illegal.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:32

Hold up, hold up. What you call it? Um oh my god, what happened? I wound up having to go to court. I wound up having to go to court behind that. And uh, no, was that I think no two times two times? I think no, I went no twice. But I can tell you this, it was it was real scary for me because I was in my nursing uniform. I was going through CNA training at uh Muscogee nursing home out there on Chitaka Road.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:20

Jack of all training, Jack of Wall Street.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:23

Okay, I was I was going through that at the time, and uh I'll never forget um I didn't have enough money, you know, to pay in court or whatever. So they took me to the back, and I was going through the process. I was going through, I had to take my I was nervous, I was scared, I had never been through nothing like that. I had to take my um shoe strings out my shoes. I had on high top, white, hot top rebusters everything on me was white because you had to wear all white for nursing, you know, training, CNA nursing training, whatever. And um I'm in there, and the guy, the way he was talking to me was just reckless, uh, and I was talking above a whisper, like because I was scared of shit, you know, never been through that. So I'm I'm in there and I'm looking back behind me, and I'm seeing inmates with the orange jumpsuits, they nasty stuff on them, everything. And I'm like, oh my god, take off all your jewelry, take off this. I mean, he's yelling at me, and I'm looking, I'm like, I'm trying to do it fast as well. I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm scared, I've never been through anything like that. So he yelling at me, he's doing all that, and by the grace of God, it was a a lady officer that was in there, and she came and she looked at me and she was like, Come with me. Come with me. Because I see right now you you don't belong in here. She got me away from that that guy and was saying that stuff to me. So she said, This is what I'm gonna do. She's like, I'm gonna sit you over here in this holding cell until whoever you call. Because I had called my mom. No, I think I made I think I was able to make two one or two phone calls. I think I made one, no, you can only make one phone call. Well, I don't know how it is down here. I think I made one phone call, and I made that phone call to my friend because I needed 75 more dollars. That's what I needed. I had like a hundred and something, but I didn't like I didn't have enough, so I needed 75 more dollars. So what the lady did what the officer did was she put me in a holding cell, and it was cold as shit in there. I'm sitting in there with my scrubs on. She let me keep my my scrubs on, right? And I sat there in a holding cell and she said they have until a certain amount of time, like 45 minutes, an hour or something like that, to get down here. And if they don't get down here, then we're gonna take you off the county. Process you in. I'm like, oh shit. So I'm I'm scared, I'm nervous. The clock is right there, and y'all all know.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:37

Well, they don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:41

Time is just ticking, it's going down slow, and I'm looking at time, I'm like, oh please, please say hi ass get down here.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:47

You probably just you probably been sitting there like 30 minutes. I'm sitting there.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:52

I I wanted to, I wanted to cry, tears in my eyes, everything, but I couldn't because I was too damn cold. I'm sitting on that thick ass slam of concrete, okay? Probably have piles in my ass. Who knows? But I'm sitting there. Why, y'all, did this lady, okay? She came in there because she was, I guess she was getting transferred, but she didn't even stay in there no more than a hot 10, maybe 15 minutes, if that. Why did that woman have on a carhart uh coat thick with like the the fur inside or whatever? And I'm looking at this woman like bitch, we about to fight today over this coat. We gonna share, we're gonna be whatever today, you know, because I'm sitting there freezing. Sitting there freezing. So she was nice. Don't get me wrong, the lady she was nice, she saw I'm I'm sitting there, I'm freezing. She was nice and she extended, and I said, Thank you. I'm sure thank you. Trying to tell her thank you. So she had to leave because they was transferring her. Meanwhile, I'm still sitting there and I'm waiting. Every now and then the officer she would walk past the window to check in on me, right? Y'all, if I didn't look like what's my man's name from Solid to the Lamb, dude, uh, from the movie Silence Hannibal Lecter. Oh shit. I look like let me tell you something. I did y'all I had on my white scrubs, okay? Shirt pants. I look like Hannibal Lecter, okay, with with my shoes, because the the shoelaces were taken out, right? So I don't kill myself, you know, choke, you know. So I'm sitting there like this. That woman walked by, my eyes will follow her. I did not move my head, I did not move my body, just my eyes, and I will follow her. Y'all, I look like I belong in an same asylum the way I was looking. Because I was just that scared and I was cold.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:00

You were you was you was in unfamiliar territory.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:04

Man, and then I was in the room all by myself because the lady gone with the coat down. I'm freezing all over again.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:09

I ain't gonna lie, if I was over myself, I feel I feel okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:14

I'm gonna tell you what, it was about five or ten minutes before time would have been up for me. The door opens. I'm sitting there looking like, okay, who coming in here with me? No, I'm like, all right, I don't know who's coming in here with me. The door opens, and the lady comes over there and she tells me, All right, come on. Um, they they posted the rest of your your bell for you or whatever. So I said, Okay, all right, thank you. Now my friend that came down there and got me, she laughing her ass off at me because not only am I, you know, after going through that, you know, I'm ski, you know, I'm scared, I want to break down crying. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't hold on, I didn't do that. So and she laughing and joking and shit because she used to that shit. She done been locked up, I don't know how many times before. So that ain't nothing to her. So she laughing at me calling me peaches. Oh, they would have been calling you peaches if you got your hands locked up. I mean, she making big fun of me or whatever, y'all. I was grateful and thankful that she came down there with the rest of the money and got me out, and I paid her back. Yes, I did. I paid her back. But when I walked, the way the way I walked, and by the time I walked past her, y'all, if y'all would have seen my eyes, it looked like I could have cut that woman in half, straight in half, like the way I looked at her. And she stopped, like, oh shit, like you feel, boy. Man, yeah. So lo and behold, I go back to the nursing home because I'm still it was still going on, and I'm sitting, and I'm sitting in class. Now I'm I'm sitting in class with with the rest of my peers and everything, and now everything has settled with me. I'm gone, I'm away, I'm sitting in class, and I wanted to break down right there. I didn't. I I still held it together. My my instructor, she called on me to answer, and I just waved my hand, and I was like, No, no, like go like no, just go. And she saw it too. She saw it, like, okay, like I'm not gonna mess with you. So lo and behold, she she looked at me. She was talking to after class was over, she said, I want to talk to you. So she talked with me and everything, and I took it all in. Alright, y'all, I waited until everybody cleared out of the parking lot. Boom! Waterworks. I broke down in the worst way ever. When I say I broke down, I broke down crying. I'm talking about boo-hoo crying, snotting together, could not get it boohoo crying, could not get it together, no nothing. You know, all of my my stuff, my jewelry, everything was in a in an envelope or whatnot. And uh while I'm crying and snotting, I'm putting my necklace back on, my earring, motherfucker. The one that was yelling at me, being all harsh and mean to me, I'm cussing him out.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:49

Oh, you can now because you go. You can't now because you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:52

Because it's all over with. Like I said, I cleared the park, I waited until the parking lot cleared, you know, after school was over with, and I broke down crying right there. I couldn't go, I couldn't go nowhere. That man, no, I was cussing him out. I said, I hope I don't, I hope I never see that man on the streets. I hope I never see him on the streets.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:12

Never. My experiences are different. Go for it. My experiences are different. I got a lot of it was like like I say, I did jubil time, so but count the time different. Like you ain't never grown men. I was in the first day, I was in uh sending a little white boy get taken advantage of. So I was like, that ain't gonna be me. That can't be me. I ain't that big. Y'all, y'all see me. I don't I ain't that big. I got a little weight now because the baby. That's it. For real, for real. Since no, like the the weight didn't come to the weight didn't come to the baby. So I'm I'm 5'10, about 130 at the time. 5'10, 130. I'm light-skinned, so everybody trying me. Man, after I seen a little white boy get taken advantage of, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna go on the graphics with it, but he got taken advantage of. After I seen that man, look, I ain't had no trouble but do push ups, set ups, and get bigger. So yeah, that that that cold, that cold that cold something serious, man. Yeah, they do that, do that to break you. They do that so you so you won't move as much. Cause when you move, you sweat, and when you sweat, it's cold, it gets colder. And a lot of people don't don't don't think that it's a mental game. It's really a mental game. You know, your body can go through anything, your mind can tell you can go through for real, for you. You tell yourself you can get through it, you can get through it. You just gotta tell you gotta tell your mind, tell your body that every day. But like going through the man's side, you're gonna be tried. People think that you're gonna be soft when you go in there just because you might be the person that hangs his head low and he don't know what's going on or something like that. But I was always told, keep your head up so I kept my head up. I got tried. Fice every other day. Feel me? Fice every other day. But when I made it out, I was good though. So you were in jail like too sweet?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:30

What you mean too sweet? You was in jail like too sweet. What you mean like too sweet? No, no, no, no, no, hold up. You never seen the movie you never seen the movie Penitentiary? Penitentiary one, penitentiary two? Nah, because I actually I actually did it. So I didn't want to watch it. And the act in the actor they call him in the movie they call him too sweet. So what what and he was light-skinned and he was a boxer. He was boxer. He would fight. He would fight in there. And they tried him, and he would fight.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:57

So he would like to. Yeah, yeah. If you would you say that, you know what I'm saying? Because I ain't gonna let nobody pump me. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:45:03

But it's a lot of people don't remember that movie. Penitentiary. But look, look. One penitentiary one penitentiary.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:10

I might gotta look at them.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:11

I'm gonna look at them.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:12

They old. They old. But look, you you I I I I like older movies. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:17

Remember the um oh god, I forgot his name. Uh, if you go back and and look at uh Martin, uh the episode where they did like the the Christmas episode with BB and C C wine, yeah. And the the short guy that's in there, the short black guy. Yeah, he was in penitentiary. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:43

That's how I know it's funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:44

He was in penitentiary. I know I forgot I forgot that actor's name, but he was in penitentiary. I got it, I got it. And he was also, I think he was also in that movie, uh, was it with Bernie Mack and um what's that white guy name? Uh uh, Aston Cushion? No, uh, it was another, I think another like it was a Santa Claus, Santa Claus movie with um Bernie Mac. Uh he played uh the short guy that I'm talking about, he played in that also. Um damn it, the white I can't I can't remember the name of the movie. The white, the white, the white guy played, I think he played like Santa Claus or something like that. I can't remember his name.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:32

I I know the movie you're talking about. I just can't remember the name of it. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. That movie. It's gonna be funny as hell. Yeah. I got it. But penitent, you were like, I gotta look at that.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:42

You were like too sweet and penitent.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:44

That's what they called him too sweet. But guess what? I'm I'm too sweet because I ain't let nobody fuck with me. Too sweet.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:49

He he was mean with the man. He was a boxer in the in the movie. He was a boxer. He he get him.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:57

I'm trying to tell you.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:58

Talk about fight him off?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:00

Oh yeah. But the jail system ain't nothing but chess. Ain't nothing but chess. You gotta make the right moves to get out. Made the right moves to stay alive, made the right moves to survive, made the wrong move or say the wrong thing to some person, you know what I'm saying? You might not make it out that but if if you a if you a if you a person now, you a short timer like me, just go PC. Just go PC and just do your time by yourself and just go home. Protect the custody. It's like uh when they when they say GP, general population, okay, like where everybody come out, you amongst everybody. But PC is like you're in a cell by yourself. It's like you scared, you scared for your own your long life. Got it, got it. Um personally, it's nothing wrong with PC. I I feel like if you ain't you ain't that strong, hey, you trying to survive, you trying to get up out of here. Do your thing. Sign that waiver. So you don't you have to go to GP. Because they they ask you when you first get there, like, do you do you feel like your life is a damn? Do you feel like you can't you can't cope or make make um survive on the yard? I know some of the biggest people. Yeah, I I I PC up. You you six four two fifty. Like, that don't mean nothing. He a target. But that's that's that's what I had to learn. I had to learn, like, okay, some of the smallest dudes be the toughest, and some of the biggest dudes be the softest.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:40

Yeah, because he a target. You that tall, you that big, you a target.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:43

But but just just looking at him, just looking at a person like that, you first, you first walk in, you green to the situation, you think he running the yard. But if you sit back and watch, he's somebody bitch. He's so he's he's somebody boy. He getting a story every day. Every time somebody sent him money on his canteen, mama sending him money on the canteen, somebody taking that. Wow. Because you don't give it up, they take your life.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:23

You know what? I said, if I would have ever, if I would have ever get locked up, I I want to be like the Italians.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:32

What, snitch on everybody?

SPEAKER_03 1:49:34

No. No, not snitch on everybody. Like, live how the Italians were living in jail. Like that one movie where you had um dude where he was taking a razor and cutting the garlic so like paper thin. Oh yeah, but that movie I would I said if I would've ever go to jail, I would've I would have lived like the Italians in jail. But listen. I don't know about them snitching or nothing like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:57

They they portray that in movies. It ain't like that. It ain't like that. You might live a little comfortable, but it ain't. It's not comfortable living, but you it's comfortable for your situation. They don't live like that. They might live like that because they got power and everything like that, but they ain't they ain't cut no garlic up, then they slice garlic and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:30

Like this is okay. I wanna be in a tiny.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:32

But I ain't gonna lie, there is some there is some circumstances and some yards you can go to and you live like a king. Cause they chump yards. They ain't active. They're not they're not a go yard. Like, they'll uh you'll sit there and say you gotta act say you got a armed robbery charge, you're doing 12 years. You're not going to a two-yard, you're not going to a one yard, you're not going to a low, you're not going to a camp, you're going to a three and above, you might go to a three or four or max. Depends on what state you're in. And the the higher your points, the higher level you go. You go to a three, four, five max, them them yards rocking. Mean the you most likely get stabbed if you don't move right. Or you say the wrong thing, or you or you move in the wrong or you sit down on the wrong table. You sit on the wrong table, it costs your life. Walking through somebody, say they got they got bunks everywhere. It's like a big old pod. If you walk through between somebody, somebody bunk that's affiliated with a with a different with a different gang or affiliate with a different race, they'll kill you for that. It's a whole different world up in there. There are a lot of people telling us a lot of people like me when when I people be calling home on cell phones and everything. The cell phone, the cell phones we got now, they $2,000, $3,000, $4,000 in prison. A little a little touch screen phone that you can get from Walmart $50, $4,500. Just imagine your the size of your pinky. The pinky nail? Pinky nail? That's $10 worth of weed. That's that's $10, that's that's a cigarette, that's $10, $10 a cow. So just think about the prices out here. You getting three three like say you say you're getting a G, a G of smoke. You getting a 0.3 for $10. You're not getting a whole G for $10, you're getting a 0.3. Not even that. You might you might get a 0.2 for $10 or $50. Depends on who you is. And how you move and who you affiliate with. And if you a stand-up dude, if you ain't got no no no no smudge on your jacket, it's a lot. You might say you're you're you might be in there for an armed robbery, but two or three years ago, you assaulted an old lady. We can see that. Big Bubba might be coming to see you tonight.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:36

Now, with that being said, is you know, Big Bubba taking it as a that could have been his grandma that you did that to, or you know, something like that. That's like um, you know, uh predator, child predators that come in there, you know, and they the guys in there find out that that's what you did. Oh and they get your ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:01

See, see, but that's the thing. We ain't gotta find out. The guards gonna tell me.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:07

That's what I'm talking about. I mean, I don't know like how y'all find out, but whoever comes through there, they let them know.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:15

That's with them chum them chumos. Children, women, whatever, elderly. If you have a if you have a you have any any any case on a child or a woman in any circumstance, you will be dealt with in some type of way. Some type of way. We don't we don't do that. It might be, see that's the thing though. A lot of people go to jail for a lot of people go to prisons for certain things, like and they all and society look at them like as, oh, they all criminals, they all criminals. But we still live by morals, we still have respect for women, we still have principles that we live by. Like I will never in my life put my hands on a woman. But if I see somebody and we locked up and you my cellmate, and I see and I see your your papers come through, shoot through the mail, and I see your charges, you might want to sleep when I open. And guess what? If I don't, they gonna come get me for not doing you wrong. Because you need cause the whole pie know. Oh the whole the whole unit knew, the whole, the whole wing knows. Everybody in here, even the warder knows you about to get your head smoked, your boot smoked. Ouch.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:37

That's like um, they had showed a a video of this guy that that raped a baby. Oh, listen. He raped he raped a baby, and he was down there in the infirmary, he was standing up, and the whole back of his pants blooded for days. They tore him, when I say they tore him a new one, and then when he got out of the infirmary, they did it again.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:10

I was like, See, see that's the thing, see that's the thing. The guard, the guard's not even gonna try to protect you, man. Because they got kids themselves. So they see it as that could have been one of their kids, that could have been one of the family members, that could have been that could have been his grandmas you pushed down, that could have been his mama, his baby mama you robbed, or something like that. So, yeah, if if I get a chance, if I I'm gonna say this, if I ever go back to prison and if I gotta do time and a motherfucker in my goddamn cell for some shit like that, I'ma call my call my baby be like, hey, I'm I'm about to do 10 more years. Cause I'm not about to get stabbed, because you're in my cell. They stab you because you were let it pet by your cell. I ain't he housed here. How can I how can I prevent that?

SPEAKER_03 1:57:11

But it's the rule, it's rules.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:14

That's part of the rules. It's it's rules, but we got our own rules too.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:19

Like, see the see the see the guards know, the COs know that put you in a certain cell because certain people don't, some people ain't affiliated. Some people not affiliated, some people, some people ain't gangbanging, some people ain't with no crew. They put those pedophiles in the in the cell with those people. But you gotta realize the people that's in them cells that already in them cell, you putting that pedophile in there, that don't mean that they don't they don't have connections with people. And when when they see that person go in your cell and they come out quick, clean, nothing, nothing done to them, and you know that they got that charge on them, oh yeah, you're gonna get done too. You're gonna you you're gonna because that's like you allowing it. It's like you okay with it. That's like saying, oh yeah, you good, I ain't worrying about it. It's it's just you doing your time. No, you doing your time the way I want you to do your time. Got it.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:15

Got it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna wrap, we're gonna go ahead and wrap that up. Yeah, we yeah, we're gonna go ahead and wrap that up. I thank y'all for um coming on, listening, or scrolling by, whatever you do. I don't know. But I'm DJ Emotion, and this is WYSM or what you say matters, and you all have a good day. And we're out.