Episode 19: Babe, God can handle it (so quit lying)

Welcome back to “Babe, We Need to Talk” with Alexx Rogers! BWNTT is a sit-down chit-chat about Jesus and all His goodness! In this episode, we chat about our negative emotions like discouragement and disappointment and how to handle it biblically. 

What do we do when we go to God expectantly, and then get let down? Does our disappointment equate to lack of faith in his plan? Are you attempting to people-please God? Let’s explore it all together! 

Reading from: Psalm 34, Galatians 6

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Babe, We Need to Talk is the podcast that gives you hard truths from a place of great love. We are moving past the fluff and getting straight to the grit & grace of what it looks like to live a life that reflects God’s Word and the heart of Jesus. Listen now and don’t forget to like & subscribe! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey y'all, welcome back to Babe We Need to Talk. I'm Alex, your host, and I am so excited you are here today. Um, it's been a minute since I recorded, so as always, I feel a little bit rusty when I don't like keep a consistent schedule with recording, but summer is just like I've said before, it is so wild and so crazy. We were actually on like a little mini vacation. The kids and I went with my mom, and um it was so fun, but it was whirlwind and chaotic, and I'm happy to be home and trying to get back into like the swing of the last few weeks of summer. I honestly can't believe school is about to be in. For those of you who have kids, school aged, like how fast did summer just fly by? It's insane. My oldest going is gonna be a sophomore. My daughter is going into seventh grade, and then a fourth grader and a third grader. And that's just wild to me. Like, weren't they just babies? Like, time is time is so weird. But anyways, I'm so excited you're here today. Happy Monday. I love that you're starting your week off with some Jesus. I'm really excited about the episode today, but I'm also a little bit nervous because I know it's gonna be kind of a hard subject, which is totally okay because sometimes we just have to go through the hard. It's like we talked about in James. Count it all joy when you face trials of every kind, you know? But one of the things that's really been um God's kind of been working through is that he can handle our disappointment and our discouragement and our frustrations. And one of the things that he told me so clearly last week when I was in my quiet time, when I was in my quiet time was I can't do anything with it if you will not hand it over to me. And I've talked before in this podcast about how like when I closed my shop, I God gave me this vision. God gave me this vision of me like holding on to something so tightly, unable to let go of it. And he kind of reminded me, I'm doing that again with some things, and that he cannot do anything with it if I won't hand it over to him. And I think sometimes we have this fear that if we give it over to God, he might just take it from us, he might take it away completely. And we don't want that. Like we want to fix whatever situation or we want improvement or redemption in it, and we're afraid that God's just gonna like take our favorite toy away, and that's just so not what he does. And he wants to work with us through what we're wrestling with, but so often we're just too scared to give it over to him. So I want to talk a little bit today about disappointment and discouragement and frustration with not just with God, just with circumstances and trusting God in it. Um, I posted like a very short reel about it a few days ago. And I wish my chair like was went down more. Hold on. I posted like a short little video about it a few um days ago about being disappointed in God and how to handle that. And a lot of people resonated with it, which didn't totally shock me because I think a lot of us have had disappointment in God. Sorry, I should have got like situated before I started the video, but here we are, you know. I'm probably gonna look back at this and be like, I hate the way I'm sitting and just critique myself. We're not doing that today, we're not doing it, okay? Okay, anyways, this is supposed to be just like casual girl to girl, babe to babe, talk it out podcast, and that's what we're gonna do. Just like you were if you were right in front of me. That's how I want this podcast to be like just us chatting. So, um, but anyways, friends, I want to talk about disappointment. I was kind of shocked, but also not shocked about how many people resonated with that video on um both platforms. And I God was like, you know what, let's talk more about it. Because as always, I have more to say about it than just that tiny little post. But I know that, you know, when we're on the socials, we just want to be entertained and scroll quickly. So I figured that's what this whole podcast is for. Because honestly, the main reason um I started this podcast was because I was doing those little short videos for Babe We Need to Talk on Instagram and TikTok. And there was always more I wanted to say. And I felt like when I was editing them, I had to cut down so much. And God was like, Yeah, I know I want you to start a podcast. I was like, Oh, you're so silly. You don't want me to start a podcast. I can't start a podcast. And he was like, Wow, you're prideful because um I'm God and I'm telling you to do it, so you should probably just do it. And I'm like, Oh, you're right, you're right. But we're gonna talk about disappointment, we're gonna talk about how to handle our disappointment, what God wants us to do with it, why it's okay to be disappointed and be honest with him. We're gonna be talking about all of those things. I'm gonna be jumping around through the Bible a little bit, but we are mainly gonna be in Psalm 34. I love this Psalm. I feel like I say that every time, but it's okay to love the Bible. I do. I love it so much. And I just another like main goal of this page is just to get you in your Bibles. So if you have your Bible, open it up. I'm gonna be reading from my new one. So it'll be NLT. Um, like I said, we're mainly like our anchor verse, I guess, or not verse, our anchor scripture is gonna be Psalm 34, but we're gonna jump around to Galatians, maybe Romans. We'll see. But I'm really excited. So we're gonna go ahead and jump on into it, and I'm gonna read to you Psalm 34. It's not super long, so bear with me. And then um, God in my quiet time this morning gave me a few things that I just feel like we should chat about. So we're gonna do that next. But ow, I hit my elbow. Okay, Psalm 34. And this is a psalm of David, and we love David, we love how dramatic David is. We love how David goes from praising God to being like, God, why have you forsaken me? And I love the book of Psalms because of that. It reminds us that all of our human emotions are given to us by God, therefore, they are okay. What we do with them is what matters. What we do with them is either sinful or righteous. And I want you to remember that as we're talking about this subject today, because I think so many of us think like we can't have bad emotions, like we're not allowed to have negative emotions because then that means that we don't trust God. We can't have negative emotions because that means that we don't believe in his plan and that our faith isn't strong enough. And that's just not the case. And that's what I want. Like, if you walk away with anything today, if you turn this off halfway through, I want you to walk away with the fact that God gave us these emotions. They are not bad. They are not, it is not unfaithful to have a negative emotion. What we do with our emotions is what matters. I tell my kids all the time, like, we're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna have emotions. What you do after that mistake, what you do with that emotion, that is what matters. So if you walk away with anything today, I want it to be that. I know I'm supposed to save that like for the end of the podcast, but that's just not who I am. I love spoiler alerts, okay? Like if I'm watching anything at all, I'm gonna look for the spoiler alert. I'm the person who's reading a book and I go to the back of it to make sure everything's gonna be okay so I can calmly read the book. Okay, so there's your spoiler alert. Everything's gonna be okay. Your negative emotions aren't bad. Okay, you just gotta give them to God. That's the whole thing. That's everything we're gonna talk about, but we're gonna talk through it now. Okay, so Psalm 34, verse one. I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises, I will boast only in the Lord. Let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness, let us exalt his name together. I prayed to the Lord and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy. No shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed and the Lord listened. He saved me from all my troubles, for the angel of the Lord is a guard. He surrounds and defends all who fear him. Taste and see that the Lord is good, O the joys of those who take refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you, his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry. But those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, his ears are open to their cries for help, but the Lord turns his face against those who do evil. He will erase their memory from the earth. The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help, he rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to their rescue each time. For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous, not one of them is broken. Calamity will surely destroy the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be punished. But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned. Okay, that was kind of a lot to read. I hope you kept up with it. I we're gonna break it down a little bit though, because I wanted to like stop and say something a few times in there, but I didn't. I was like, no, just read it through, Alex. You can do it, just read it through. Just read it through. Let God speak. Okay, so clearly in this psalm, there is like, I think one of the most quoted verses to me when I've gone through some like really hard things is the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Um, verse, verse 34, 18. I was right, I just doubted myself. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed, like showing us that we can be brokenhearted and the Lord is close to us. But what I wanted to kind of talk about today is what we do with this discouragement that we have. And we're gonna talk about it through this psalm. But what God was telling me when I was in my quiet time was process, pivot, pray, people. And I want you to remember those four words: process, pivot, pray, people. We're gonna walk through them all. We're gonna start with process. We have, if we're dealing with disappointment, we're dealing with discouragement, frustration, even anger at God, okay? Which I know some people tell me you can't be angry at God, but you absolutely can, and you can forgive him. You can be angry at him and you can forgive God. God doesn't need your forgiveness. You need to let go of things. I have a whole episode on it. Episode eight, one of my favorite episodes. It's one of the most like real and vulnerable episodes I've done. Um, but anyways, frustration, discouragement, disappointment. God wants us to process those feelings. To process those feelings, we have to give it over to him. It's just part of it. I think some of us approach God and we're disappointed. And then we go to God and we are almost like people pleasing him when he knows our thoughts are innermost to everything. He knows what we're gonna say before we say it. But we think that we can go to God and be like, God, I know your plan is better and it's okay that this didn't happen. And he's like, Do you really feel that way? Is that really how you feel? And you're like, Yes, God, I'm totally fine. When we do that, we are completely denying the truth to ourselves and to God. We're completely like, we're not processing it. We're not dealing with the disappointment that we have. And God is over here, like, I know you're disappointed. I know everything. I know everything about you, all of your innermost thoughts, but you're gonna sit here and lie to me. Like, don't do that. It's okay to tell me that you're not okay. Like that, say, you know, it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to be okay. God wants you to just be honest with it and to process it. Because when we don't, we're literally shoving it down and it's going to manifest inside of our bodies and inside of our lives as something else. It's going to come out of us in some way or the other. So why can't we let it come out in the form of honesty to God so that He can actually do something with it? Like I told you, he told me so clearly, I cannot do anything with it if you won't hand it over to me. He wants our honesty. He wants the real raw transparency when we come to him. Our prayer life is the one space in the entire world that we can be completely honest and completely raw. And the person that we're talking to is still going to love us so much because he already does. He already knows all of it and he still accepts you and loves you. And all of the like intrusive thoughts and the impulsive actions and the things that you said, he knows. And so you can't come to God with this like mask on saying, God, I am fine that this didn't happen when you know that you're not, or I'm fine that this did happen and you know that you're not. You're not allowing yourself, you're not letting God allow God to heal you. You're not allowing him to be near the brokenhearted if you're not going to be honest with him. Like any relationship, friendship, marriage, any of it is going to be better when the both people are honest. God is going to be honest with you. You need to be honest with him. So process. I think the first thing that you need to do when you're dealing with disappointment is process it, is give it over to God. And in Psalm 34, verse 4, David says, I prayed to the Lord and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy. We know in James it says to count it all joy when we face trials and tribulations of every kind. But in here, they're telling us that those who look to God for help will be radiant with joy. Does that mean we're always happy? No. I think that we're getting joy and happiness kind of confused sometimes. Like when we look to him for help, right there, those words show that you need help, that there is disappointment. You don't need help if you're not in trouble. If you're not in trouble with something, you don't need the help. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy. No shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation, I prayed, and the Lord listened. He saved me from all my troubles. Like in my desperation, he's being so David's being so honest with God. If we could say one thing about David is that he is honest with God about his feelings. He tells him when he's in the pit. He says when he thinks he's forsaken him, he praises him when he's good. And all of those things in our desperation, when he answers, then we can be radiant with joy. The joy is there for us no matter no matter what. But we're going to get it quicker. We're going to get it more authentically if we're being honest with God. David here showing us how we can process it. I prayed and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. The first step is to process it. So if you're feeling disappointed right now, that's where I want you to go is to start processing it. And to do that, you have to admit it. You have to first say, yes, God, I am disappointed. And then the next thing that I feel like we need to do when we're disappointed is to pivot. We need to shift our expectations. I think a lot of the time, the the not always, because sometimes disappointment comes in the form of, you know, things that people do or um life circumstances that kind of come out of left field or right field or whichever field you don't expect it to come from. I don't know. I don't know baseball, you guys. I know soccer. So just stick with me here. But I think it's because we, you know, sometimes it's because something crazy happens, but sometimes our disappointment comes because we had unmet expectations. And when that happens, it can be really hard to say like that we're disappointed in God because maybe those expectations were something worldly. Maybe those expectations were, you know, a treasure that you thought you would get here and you're not getting it. We've all been there, if we're being completely honest, that you know, you wanted a house that you didn't get, you wanted a car that you didn't get, you wanted a dress that you couldn't get, you wanted a friendship, you want like anything. There's these disappointment can come from unmet expectations. So I think that after you've processed it, you've admitted the fact that you are disappointed or discouraged with whatever it is, big, small, medium, that the next thing is you pivot. You need to change those expectations, pivot them to God and what he wants. And if you don't know what that is, ask him. Ask him, God, this wasn't it. What is? What's the next best thing for me to do? And pivot your expectations, but also pivot your mindset. Sometimes we can't change our circumstances. Sometimes we can't change what's going on around us. But what we can do is change our perspective of it. We can change our mindset of it. Like, God, okay, you're not changing this circumstance. You're not changing this unmet expectation right now. So help me change my perspective and pivot your perspective to what God wants. And maybe through that disappointment, He'll let you wrestle a little bit and you're going to come out the other side with a stronger faith. Again, back to James, count it all joy when you face troubles and tribulations of any kind because the testing creates perseverance, which creates endurance. And maybe that's where God is taking you right now with your disappointment. Maybe it has nothing to do with expectations and circumstances. It just has to do with God is building you up into something and He's letting you be a little bit disappointed. He's letting you be a little bit discouraged so that the next time this comes around, whatever the situation is, whatever the circumstance is, you have a stronger faith. It's more deeply rooted. Okay? You got this girl. Okay. And the other thing is, which kind of we talked about in the process part of it is to pray. Keep praying. One of my absolute favorite verses is from First Thessalonians. Let me flip over so I can read it to you because it's just so good, you guys. Is from First Thessalonians, which is like so fun to say. Why is that so fun to say? I don't know. But chapter 5, verse 16, always be joyful, never stop praying, be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Jesus Christ. Never stop praying. There's so much benefit in going into your room, your closet, shutting the door, and praying and having that like intense, intentional prayer time with God. But we are told to never stop praying. And God is the only, the only one who can hear everything going on inside of you. He knows all. He knows your thoughts before you think it, like I said, which there is a verse for that. If you need to find it, I totally will. And I'll give it to you. He knows it all. Our conversation with God can and should be ongoing throughout the day. Like every time you start to feel that disappointment, you start to kind of or you start to regress back into being discouraged, you can give it to God immediately. You don't have to wait until you get home at night and pray in bed with no one around. I'm not saying you have to stand in the middle of Walmart and let out this, you know, lengthy wordy prayer out loud. It's internal. You can talk to God and He's going to answer you. We pray without ceasing. It's just an open line of communication. You don't have to dial in. You don't have to put a quarter in the payphone. You get to talk to him all day. You don't need to have the Verizon guy being like, Can you hear me now? God can. Hears you at all times. Do not stop praying. When we're not having that openness with God, it gives so much room for not just the devil to come in and continue to discourage you in your disappointment, but it gives so much room for the world to do that or for your flesh to do that, for your old habits and everything else to come in and try to comfort you instead of letting God, who is the comfort of all things, be the one who comforts you. By allowing yourself to have that open line of communication with him, he gets to talk back to you because that's what this relationship is. And I've mentioned it before, I don't hear an audible voice from God. He just places these thoughts in my head, or he even talks to me through other people sometimes, mainly through his word. And it's so encouraging and so timely and so just full of wisdom. Like that's what this Bible is, it's so full of wisdom. But for the wisdom to take effect in your life, you have to understand it. So you have to be in the word, you have to be praying, you have to be making that effort. Like God can encounter you when he wants to at any time, but it's gonna feel a lot better and it's not gonna hurt as much if you're allowing it, if you are open to whatever God wants to say to you. Never stop praying. And the last one is I think hard for some of us. But people, when you are disappointed and you're discouraged, put yourself around people. Have people that you can tell, like and be completely honest with today sucked or this circumstance sucked. I need you to be praying for me, but I you need to be around people. I've said it so many times on this podcast because I'm guilty of it. Like, isolation is the worst thing for you when you are feeling disappointed, discouraged, sad, shameful, guilty, any of it. Isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do. And I am so guilty of it where I Will just like, you know, that gif? Is it GIF or GIF? Which one do you say? Anyways, the GIF of Homer Simpson, where he like goes into the bushes and he's like, that's what I want to do sometimes when I'm struggling in life. I just want to crawl into bed, crawl into the bushes, hide in the bushes, and isolate is the worst place for you to be. And I'm speaking from experience. I am telling you right now that if you are trying to disconnect yourself from the people around you because you're disappointed and discouraged, the devil loves it. He's like, yes, I can get her now. I can get him now. Because the devil prowls around like a lion looking for somebody to devour. When we are together, he cannot get us as easily. I'm gonna read this is I'm gonna read from Galatians now. I'm gonna put my bookmark in my Bible though, because you know, I gonna lose my spot. Anyways, and also if you're new here, I do break out into random accents from time to time. It is not meant to be offensive, and no, I don't think I'm good at them. I'm very bad at them, but it's just the way my brain works. Just randomly, you know, you never know what you're gonna get. So it's fine. But Galatians chapter six, which we've read from a few times on this podcast. Um, but let's see, where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there it is. Okay. Galatians six, verse two, share each other's burdens and in this way obey the law of Christ. That's it. That's the whole that's the whole line. Share each other's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. The law of Christ is to love your neighbor as yourself. And sometimes I don't even want to bear my own burdens. So I feel like it can be pretty difficult from time to time to bear somebody else's. But that's what we're supposed to do. And whenever we pick up the load together of each other's burdens, like you're struggling with this, I'm struggling with this, we can carry it so much easier. And then we're both carrying each other's burdens to Christ because that's where we should be like this lift it on up, lift it on up to him, friends. Okay, do you see what I mean? There is something wrong with me. It's just undiagnosed. But, anyways, when we're bearing each other's burdens and lifting them up to the Christ, it's get lifting them up to Christ, it's going to lighten that load. It's just going to make it so much easier. And I think that some of us may have trouble with it because maybe we do know, maybe your friend is sharing a burden that she's going through. And so you feel like you can't share your burden with her because she's already carrying so much. But now you are the one carrying your burden and her burden and whoever else's burden, but you're not letting anybody else help with yours. That's not, that ain't it. You're not evening the scales, you're not helping her out. She is going to feel so much closer to you if you also tell her what's on your heart. Like, hey, I'm absolutely praying for you. Can you pray for me too? It's not taking her thunder, it's not stealing her thunder, it's not taking anything away from her. And if your friend is doing that to you, it's not taking anything away from you. The two of you sharing it with each other, one tells the devil that he can't have a foothold here because you're going to bear each other's burden and fulfill the law of Christ. And then two makes it so much lighter. We get to lift it up together, and God gets so much joy from that. I mean, I think about so much of a smaller scale, but like I have four kids, and me seeing them help each other and work each other through things gives me such joy. Imagine how our father in heaven feels when we share each other's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. Babe, I bet he loves it. I bet he loves it so much. Not I bet, I know he does. Okay, I'm not a betting girl at all, but I know, I know he loves, I know he loves it. Okay, so let's just like process, pivot, pray, and people. Like that's what I want you to focus on when you're facing the disappointment and the discouragement is admit it. It's okay. God gave you the God gave us all everything. Everything good on this earth is from God. And everything on this earth is from God, and he can do good with it. He can do good with your anger. Like he never tells us you're not allowed to be angry. He says, In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. We're guaranteed that we're gonna feel all of these emotions. So ask God what he wants you to do with it. I mean, that's all you can really do, you know? He knows way better than I do. So just talk to him. But I want to tell you, if you're feeling disappointed, it's okay. It happens. And give it over to him. And I think about like how David tells us, I prayed to the Lord and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those to look, those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy. No shadow of shame will darken their faces. Like those who look to him for help. Okay. I think about my kids, like so often, you know, they want to be independent, especially my preteen. God loves her and so do I. But girl wants to be independent. I'll watch her struggle with something. And as a mom, sometimes it's hard to know when to step in. God always knows when to step in. But as a mom, sometimes it's hard. And I'll watch her and she'll struggle and I'll just say, Do you need help with that? And she's like, No, I don't need help with it. But her struggling with this one thing is kind of blocking her from this next step that she needs to do, right? And finally she's like, Mom, I do need help with this. I'm like, Yeah, no problem. Let me help you. And I help her, and then she can so easily do the next thing that she needs to do. And I feel like sometimes that's us with God. He's like, You got that on your own? And you're like, Yes, I totally have this on my own. I can do it because you give me strength. And he's like, Well, you're not actually letting me give you strength right now. You're thinking can do it. I'll buy your lonesome all on your own. Yeah, someone needed to hear that. Anyways, thanks for being here, babes. This was so fun. I hope you liked this episode. Um if you're feeling discouraged, please give it over to God. Please tell a friend. Please keep praying. And if you cannot change those circumstances, please, please try to change your perspective, which I know can be so hard. But we are told to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. And that is a verse I repeat to myself every day because I do struggle with it. And just this morning, I was going down this whole spiral of discouragement and being disappointed. And my sweet husband just grabbed me and spoke so much truth into me. And I hope that I can do that for you, friends. So, anyways, if you don't already, you should totally follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. We are at babe we need to talk on Instagram and TikTok at babe.we need to talk on YouTube. We also have a podcast site now, which is so fun. You can go to it, you can leave fan mail, you can ask questions, um, you can support the show if you want by doing a monthly donation. That would be so appreciated, but obviously not at all necessary. Um, I was actually just talking to my friend, like, you know, I closed my business almost a year ago. It's 10 months ago, I think. Closed my business of eight years because God told me to, started this podcast and wrote a book because God told me to, and started the Instagram because God told me to. And being on one income, I'm not gonna lie, has been discouraging. And I've had to continue to give that over to God. But if you feel it in your heart to uh donate to the show monthly or even a one-time thing, it would be amazing. But that is not why we're here. We're here to talk about Jesus. So go follow us, like and subscribe, leave a comment, leave some fan mail. I would love it. I read all of them and would love to like maybe have an episode one, like where we just answer questions from fan mail or comments. That would be a lot of fun, kind of like we did with the James episode. Um, and also the James Devotional is out now for free download. I don't think I mentioned that in the last podcast, but it is. Um, a few of you have done it already, and I love it so much, makes you so happy. A few people went and got that and the Psalm 119 one because they didn't download that the first time. Free, completely free. Whenever it says price, you just type in zero, it goes to your email and is available immediately. But thank you so much for being here. And as always, don't take my word for it. Open gods. And I will see you next time, babes. Have a great week. Bye.