Ever Feel Judged for Choosing a Different Path? | Navigating Life Outside of Societal Expectations

There is a particular kind of pressure that comes when your life does not match the blueprint society handed you. The career pivot people do not quite understand. The timeline that does not match anyone else's. The decision you feel completely sure about until someone questions it and suddenly you are carrying it alone. In this episode we talk honestly about what it really means to go against the grain, why the people around you sometimes get louder the moment your path looks different, and how to hold your own decisions with confidence even when the validation never comes. Because difference does not mean wrong. And your path does not need to look like anyone else's to be exactly right for you.

🎧 If you have ever doubted a decision simply because it looked different, this one was made for you. Come listen.

Transcript

Hey, friends, welcome back to becoming with Kethney. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Now, the other day I was sitting and reflecting and something that I feel like gets, doesn't get said enough is what happens when you go against societal norms.Like what really happens when you make a decision that makes sense to you but not necessarily to everyone else. Throughout our lives, we hear a lot of, this is what you should do. You should do this, these are the best timeline expectations.These are the expectations and the steps that are needed in order to get to this destination. But what happens when your instincts are telling you to do the opposite of all of that, or what they're even telling you doesn't quite align with what you wanna do? And that's what I wanna talk about today.So if you stick towards the end of this podcast episode, you're gonna hear about all of my reflections on this topic and what I've thought about as I've navigated my becoming. There are many different examples of this and one that I feel like a lot of us might be able to relate to is the advice that we get about, you know, finding a stable job.Now that advice comes from a good place, but people often tell you, you don't want to go through too many jobs. It won't look good on your resume, you won't get hired again. Um,  it might be difficult for you to even find a job. Make the safe decision. Once you find a place, once you landed a job, stay there.And even though this comes from, I truly believe, a well meaningful place because your family, your loved ones, they don't want you to suffer.I feel like everyone's experience is unique.  You know, if you're going through multiple jobs, it might be because you just haven't found something that aligned with you and your wants, or you're looking for a better career path and growth opportunities, and maybe where you're at, it doesn't provide it.That being said, I do believe every experience gives us a lesson that we can take on to the next one.And so I feel like that's just one common societal expectation that's out there. Once you land a job, you should stay there for the rest of your career. You shouldn't move, you should give it at least three to five years. And people push back when you tell them, hmm, I don't think it's quite the best fit for me or, hmm, there's a better opportunity and I just wanna challenge myself. It's okay.I feel like people project their fears out of wanting to protect you, but it's ultimately up to you to decide to make that shift to go against that advice. That's one example that I've heard it  throughout my life plenty of times. And I chose frankly just not to listen to it. This ties back to a previous episode, if you haven't heard it yet, go back into the history of my podcast and listen to it about self leading yourself because people will give you their opinions, but it's up to you to make your final decision.And even though I am hearing what people have to say, my loved ones, what they have their advice counselors, whatever they have to say, ultimately, the decision is mine to make.And to be honest, the fear that people had for me didn't match the reality that I was experiencing. So once again, don't let other people's fear get projected onto you. You have to listen to your instincts, and it's okay the weird feeling to, to go against the status quo, but only you know what fits for you and what aligned with your spirit, your soul, your wants. You know,  that's just one example.We hear a lot of shoulds, we should do this, we should act this way  in our life, but what happens when your path doesn't follow them? Like career timelines, career pivots, like, people like to say that, you know, our career is one linear, ha. But the truth is it's not always like that.There is gonna be some twists and turns along the way. Those twists and turns doesn't have to be defined as good or bad. They're just part of the adventure that leads you to your ultimate destination, your ultimate goal. Honestly, you shouldn't do something because others are telling you to do it. Because that is what the group consensus, society consensus say. Going back to that job example I used earlier,  you shouldn't stay in a place that no longer serves you, and only you can tell yourself if that place serves you or not.  You don't want to be miserable. You don't wanna feel  bored, unsatisfied. How much is your time,  your emotions worth to you? I understand at the end of the day, we're all just trying to find our purpose, our becoming in life, trying to find a way to navigate what we call adulthood. But in doing that, yes, hear what people have to say, but do what aligns with you, even if it goes against everyone else. And doing things just because it's the right way may not be the best choice for you. It may even lead to some feelings of unhappiness. Remember, a lot of the times when people tell you the status quo, what to do or project their fears onto you, they are just trying to give you a blue print. And with blueprints, yeah, that's one way to do things.It's only one way to do something. But that doesn't mean that that, that is the only way. So instead of doing things the right way, do it your way. And you know what? There is a quiet discomfort with choosing your own path, especially when it goes against what people expect. And when things like that happen, when you go against the status quo, you might feel like you always have to defend your choices. And I'm here to tell you that you don't owe anyone an explanation what works for you, works for you. It's your life at the end of the day. You're the one living it. And I think that's something that we need to be reminded of. People who are giving us advice, they have their own life. They mean well, but they have their own life. You're the one that's actually gonna have to live it with whatever choice that you make and whatever decisions that you choose to follow. So no, you do not need to give anyone an explanation as to why you're going against the status quo. They don't have to understand it as long as it makes sense to you and it aligns with you.Gonna keep saying that because I think it's important to hear. And I say all of this because I don't want you to allow others to make you question a decision that you deep down, maybe not deep down, that you just know and have this confidence that it was the right decision for you to make. Because when you allow others to get in your head, you're gonna start wondering, am I being responsible? Or am I missing something? And I want you to remember this whenever those thoughts cross your mind, remember, it's not the decision that's hard, it's carrying it without the validation. I think it's easier for us to accept the status quo except  what the majority is telling us. Well, what's hard about going against that is that you lose that validation because people, the majority of people aren't going down that path, didn't go down that path and don't understand why you are going down that path.  And once again, they don't have to understand. They don't. Respectfully, it's your life.And, you know, some, sometimes the hardest part about making a decision, it isn't the risk, it's knowing that people just won't agree with it. And it's only natural that we'd want reassurance. I feel like as humans, we are a  group, think that's a sociology term. We are, we like to be in groups. We like to be accepted. And when we feel like, and I think instinctually too, we feel like we're going against that. We sort of have an innate fight or flight fear factor that happens within us. But I want you to choose autonomy despite that. Choose yourself. I want you to trust yourself and want to trust yourself more than you want to be understood. And remember, difference doesn't automatically mean wrong. People give advice based on what worked for them, or they give advice based on what they wish that they did differently, but that doesn't make it universal. And I keep saying they, they're a different person than you. Your journey, your path, your outcomes might not be the same as theirs, even if you were to follow their advice. Not all advice is wrong, but not all advice is meant for you either. That's for you to decide.Everyone situation is different. Not everyone has the same scenarios, and this isn't about ignoring consequences,  concerns, risk or red flag. This is about being intentional, making informed decision, and not blindly following expectations or norms.You can listen without absorbing everything, you can consider advice without feeling like you have to obey it, and you can move differently  without having to feel like it's wrong at the end of the day. You can hear people without handing them control. So here's your reflection for this week. Where in your life are you following a should or an expectation or a societal norm that doesn't feel like yours? And what decision have you been questioning just because it looks different? Remember,  your path won't always look the same as others, and it doesn't have to. You're not here to follow a blueprint.You're here to figure out and find what works for you. If you enjoy this episode, remember to share, follow, like and subscribe, so you don't miss any future episodes. And if you're up to it, feel free to send me a fan message. I love reading all the messages that comes through and hearing people's experiences. Honestly, if you want even more, visit my link in bio so that you can see a free worksheet that I made for you for you to really think through a lot of these emotions that we've been talking about a lot of these topics that tend to cross our mind, but we don't necessarily voice often, and we don't have the space to voice. So go grab that worksheet so that way you can go through that exercise and  maybe it might help you out. But let me know what you think until next time. Bye.