Learning to Stop Grieving Versions of Yourself You Had to Become to Survive

Transcript

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Welcome back to Rules for Restoration, Faith, Family, and Healing with Marie. In the last episode, we talked about survival mode and how healing sometimes requires us to let go of the version of ourselves that only knew how to survive. But today we're going even deeper because sometimes when healing begins, we realize we are grieving versions of ourselves we had to become along the way. Sometimes healing feels emotionally because part of you is mourning who you had to become to survive. Psalms 34 verse 18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many people think grieving only happens after losing someone else. But sometimes we grieve part of ourselves too. The softer version of ourselves, the trusting version, the emotional open version, the version that existed before pain changed us. And after difficult experience, many people realize I became someone I never expected to be, more guarded, more emotionally distanced, more fearful, more protective, not because they wanted to, but because survival shaped them. Sometimes we judge ourselves harshly for the ways we adapted emotionally, for becoming guarded, for becoming distant, for struggling to trust, without realizing those responses developed during seasons where we were simply trying to survive emotionally. And while some of those patterns may no longer serve us now, they once protected us. And recognizing that creates compassion towards yourself. Feeling disconnected from who you used to be, wondering how life experiences change you so deeply, or realizing you spent years becoming emotionally hard, simpler to make it through difficult seasons. And sometimes that realization hurts. Because part of healing is acknowledging the emotional cost of survival. But healing teaches you something important. You are not broken because pain changed you. You adapted, you survived, you learned, and now you are allowed to heal to. Not overnight, but slowly, honestly, safely. God sees every version of you. The hurting version, the guarded version, the exhausted version, the healing version, and his love does not disappear because pain affected you emotionally. Sometimes healing begins when you stop hating the version of yourself that were trying to survive and start extending compassion towards them instead. You do not have to carry shame for how you survive difficult seasons. You are allowed to acknowledge that some version of you were created through pain, and you are allowed to grow beyond them without hating yourself for needing them once. That matters. Ask yourself, what version of myself am I still grieving emotionally? And then ask, what would it look like to finally extend compassion towards myself instead of shame? Healing sometimes means learning that survival version of you deserve understanding to. In Jesus' name, amen. As we continue this season, this is part of a deeper reflection in the journey. Take what you need from it and let it meet you where you are. Thank you for joining me and Roots to Restoration, faith, family, and healing with Marie. Be blessed and continue growing in faith, healing, and restoration one season at a time.