You Can’t Heal What You Won’t Own | Pilot May 2026

Welcome to Own Your Fight — a podcast about healing, growth, self-awareness, and learning how to fully own your life.

In this very first episode, I’m sharing the heart behind this podcast, the experiences that shaped it, and why ownership changes everything — your story, your relationships, your voice, your future, and the way you move through the world.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about honesty.
 It’s about healing.
 It’s about becoming intentional with the life you’ve been given.

If you’re ready to stop avoiding the hard things and start growing through them, you’re in the right place.

Transcript

Welcome & why this conversation matters

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Well, hey everybody, my name is Sarah. I'm so incredibly honored that you are tuning in to the Own Your Fight podcast. This has been a dream of mine for years, and I'm so incredibly honored and grateful to be kicking off this journey with you today. Own your fight, it's this concept that the Lord gave me late at night. I was just talking with him, me and the Lord, and he started downloading this so fast. And I'm so excited to share with you kind of what we're going to be going through as we journey through this together. Because the reality is none of us were taught how to fight, or most of us weren't taught how to fight well. Most of us were probably taught how to avoid it. We were taught maybe how to fight blindly, kind of run into a fight and not really know strategy or skill or what we're jumping into. I think a lot of us too, we probably weren't taught how to deal with conflict well, confrontation well, trauma well. Um, a lot of us bring a lot of things from our past, from our upbringing that we just kind of bring through life. And as I've been praying and growing, and a little bit about me, I have two kids, two beautiful little ones. I've been married for almost 10 years now. And the more I grow up and grow into becoming a mother, I'm learning so many things about myself. And one of them is that I think a lot of us, at least just for myself, we bring so much into life from what happened to us, and we never actually deal with it. And so we're living our life reacting to thing after thing to thing. We're reacting to our kids because of something in our childhood. We're reacting to our spouse because of something. We're saying no to really good opportunities because of something.

The cost of avoidance

SPEAKER_00 1:45

We're being afraid to step into something because of something from our past. And a lot of us don't feel maybe like we're in a fight. But listen, just being fully transparent, we're all in a fight of some kind. We're fighting against our trauma. We're fighting against the abuse that happened to us. We're fighting to be a great spouse. We're fighting to really represent the Lord well. We're fighting to be who we feel like we are made to be, who are created to be. And it's not just an easy path, it's a fight. And I think for so long in my life, I just let the fight happen and I really wasn't putting up much of a fight back. I was letting the punches come and just kind of saying, oh, it's okay, it's fine, everything's good. I'll just kind of, you know, make lemonade out of these lemons that I keep getting. And I've really been challenged the last couple of years, especially since becoming a mom, to really own the fight and own the space that I'm in. Because I get one shot at this life. The commonality all of us in humanity have is that we get one shot. We get one chance at this life that we're given. And I'm tired of just floating through the space that I'm in, floating through the days and let life happen. And I'm also tired of seeing that happen to friends of mine that have so much potential. And once I had my daughter, I decided she is not gonna be that way. She is not gonna be someone that lets life happen to her. I want to teach her how to respond and not be violent and aggressive, but really know who she is and know how to respond to things that happen to her in life. Because a lot of us, we do one of three things when a fight comes. We avoid it completely. We act like it's not there, we run in blind with no strategy, no system. We're just kind of going through the motions. Or we just assume we can't win. And we just assume, well, it's not worth trying anyway. I'm I'm not gonna come out on top. And I think for all of us, if we took a second, at least for me, we fit into one of those three categories. Or maybe we fit into all of them at some point or another. I I really remember so many times a lot of the framework for what this came from and what was birthed from this. I remember growing up, um, and when back up before I became a mom, I decided to go through counseling because I wanted to make sure I was the healthiest version of myself before raising another human being. And in counseling, you know, they go through what's your story, what happened to you when you were young, what's your why, what motivates you. And I remembered and was brought back to a very specific memory. I, y'all remember those parent-teacher conferences in school? It's so awkward when you're a kid, you're sitting there and your mom's there, or your dad's there, and you walk in and sit in your little seat, and the teacher sits across from you, and they tell you about how you're doing. And I remember one so distinctly in elementary school. I walked in, I sat down with my mom, and the teacher said, You know, your daughter, Sarah, is so quiet. Sometimes I don't even know when she's in the room. And I know she was meaning to just say, I'm polite, you know, I'm well-mannered, I'm kind, whatever, you know, I know the intention was good, but that marked my life. That marked everything from that moment forward. I was afraid to add something to the space around me because I was the quiet one. I was afraid to kind of make ripples

What "owning it" actually means

SPEAKER_00 5:10

in any space that I was in because I was the one that was supposed to be in the background and that people don't really know when I'm there. I'm supposed to be a background support to everybody around me. And I really didn't realize till later on in life how much that scarred me and how much that became the mitts that I was fighting my life through is that filter of I'm the quiet one. I'm the one that people aren't supposed to know when I'm in the room. I'm the one that kind of comes in and you don't know when I come in and you don't know when I leave. And it so marked my life. And I didn't even realize it. I was, I would be the person that would apologize for things that were never my fault. You know, we'd be in a line and I would apologize, you know, for being in front of the person behind me. If I accidentally touched something, I would apologize for, oh, I'm so sorry if I was in your way, or you know, if I was running late, it was always my fault. If someone else was running late, I said, Oh, I'm sorry, I probably gave you the wrong time. I just had so many things about my personality that picked up from that one thing that was spoken over me. And I don't think I'm the only one that would say that. I don't think I'm the only girl that gets that. I don't think I'm the only person, only spouse, only friend that would probably start analyzing my life and realize, oh, that's actually a reaction to something that happened to me. Oh, that was actually a reaction to something that somebody said about me. And what we don't understand and don't realize most of the time is that all of those things mark us, and we continue in our life to try to push forward without actually understanding the fight that we are in for victory over those things that have been spoken about us. For owning the space that we have been given by God to be all that He's called me to be, we have to actually own the fight. You don't get to run away from it, you don't get to avoid it. And what is really scary is you can't just run in blindly and just, you know, think you know everything and don't have a strategy and a plan. Because then you're not actually all of those things, the problem with all three of those is that you're actually not dealing with the problem. You're not dealing with what that person said about you, you're not dealing with how you view yourself. Listen, if we're being honest, even going into recording today, there were so many times that I wanted to run the opposite direction, hide underneath a, you know, rock somewhere, and just exist and not actually have people see me, not actually do the assignment God had on my life, not actually take the time to add value to the space around me. And I'm I was just so tired of living that way. And I really think with all of this, it's a faith step for me, but I hope for you too that this is a journey that you can begin to start owning the fight that you are in. What space are you in? What season of life are you in? Are you fighting to become the best version of yourself going into college and figuring out your major? What am I put on this world to do? Are you in a season of life of trying to navigate friendships and relationships and, you know, oh man, is am I being the best friend that they they need for me? Or, you know, do I actually have people pouring into my life? Do I know how to be a friend? Do I know how to care about other people? Which sounds so silly to say, like I get it. But I don't know how many of us have actually been taught healthy ways of having relationships. I don't know how many of us have actually been taught how to have healthy conflict and definitely healthy conflict resolution. And then

Shame, accountability & healing

SPEAKER_00 8:30

we're in the next season of life where we're maybe dating, engaged, early, married, and you're figuring out how to be a spouse, how to have this other person you're living with all the time. And listen, I'm extroverted, my husband's introverted. I had to figure out oh, he needs alone time and that knee-jerk reaction to me of like feeling rejected and being confused and um extroverted me, how to figure out where are my people? What am I gonna do? I'm married now. What how do I figure out how to get my cup filled up? And then you have kids, you're in your career, whatever season you're in, I'm here to tell you that you're not there on accident, but there's also reality that you need to face that it's a fight that you are gonna be in. Are you gonna let life happen to you and just avoid it? Or are you gonna step into the ring in this season of life that you're in and own it? And I want to challenge you to own it with the mindset and mentality that I'm gonna win. I'm gonna win. I am gonna do all the things that I've been put in here to do. I'm not just gonna be a background player anymore. I'm not just gonna let life happen to me. I actually have something to say and contribute to this life. I listened to the sermon one time and he talked about, he was asking the question, where's the wealthiest place on earth? Where is the space you can go to and find the most wealth? So all of us are giving answers, like, you know, places where there's a lot of mansions, a bank, some island somewhere. And he said something so challenging, it still scares me a little bit to this day. It's part of my motivation to keep going. He said, You want to know the most rich place on earth is a cemetery. Because people there are buried and they're buried with dreams that never happened, they're buried with businesses that were never started, with relationships that ended before they should have, with goals that they wrote down somewhere but never tried to accomplish. Graveyards are places that people end up going to and having all of these ambitions and dreams and wealth of ideas to contribute to the world around them, and they never did them. And his challenge was are you gonna live like you're actually alive or like you're already in the grave? Are you actually gonna say, no, I wanna, when I get to the point that I get to meet Jesus one day, and I'm at the end of my life, I want to do it empty because I did everything in me to add something to the world around me. This breath in my lungs, this oxygen that God has given me for this season, I actually want to do something with it. I want to make the most of this life that I have been given because it's so precious. I don't want to die still with stuff inside of me. I want to die empty because I know I did everything I could to add value and just do the calling God put on my life. Live my life to the fullest potential. And to do that, to get there, I actually have to own the fight that I'm in. I actually have to deal with the stuff that I don't want to deal with. I actually have to deal with the things that happened to me in my past. And for me, because of that and having to deal with what that teacher said to me, I'm forever changed. I mean, my husband would tell you, people around me, you know, people that know me, they would say the same thing. I am not gonna be the one that's quiet sitting in the background anymore. You're gonna know if I'm in the room. My husband, like I said, he's introverted and he laughs because I am. If we're just sitting on the couch, I'm like, oh, well, we're gonna talk about something. I'm not that person anymore. I'm not gonna apologize for existing anymore. I have dealt with a lot of that trauma and a lot of that, even the aftermath of insecurity that came from that, not knowing who I was and what we're gonna be talking about. I don't have it all together. You'll learn that real quick if you joined on this journey with me for a couple weeks. I don't got it all together, but

The turning point

SPEAKER_00 12:15

I have dealt with a lot of things and I've actually fought through a lot of things to the other side. And we're gonna have some friends that we're gonna bring on to talk through different areas of life. This isn't just about trauma, it's also how do you own your strengths? How do you own your story? Have you actually taken the time to think about what has happened to you up until this point? Have you written it down? Have you dealt with it? Or you just kind of avoid it. Assume, well, I'm never gonna get over that, I'm never gonna get healthy. And I'd question, maybe you'd look around and you'd see the fruit of that in some of your relationships, some of the ways you might think about yourself. So I really want to go through this and and even owning your faith, owning your purpose. You know, what are you put on earth to do? It's bigger than you. You actually, if you've never heard this before, can I tell you you're not an accident. You're made on purpose to do something just that you can do. You're made on purpose for a purpose. It's what our church says all the time, but it's actually true. You're put on this earth to do something amazing. You have gifts in you. So we're gonna talk about how to own your gifts, owning your strengths, owning your voice. I think, you know, I am a woman, so speaking for a lot of women, I think we haven't been taught where to use our voice and then how to use it well, how to exist in this world as a woman and understand what a gift that is. It's not something to apologize for. And it's not something that's weak either. It's not something that's supposed to be like, oh, I'm just shy. No, girl, listen, own the fact that you were born, own the space that you're given, own the fight in front of you. Decide preemptively that you're gonna win. Owning your mental health. You know, a lot of that has so much to do with even rhythms that we have for ourselves. You know, how are you taking care of yourself? We're gonna have um some guests talking about owning your health, owning that journey and what that looks like for you, owning your circle, your community. You know, you actually get a choice. I it's so funny. My friends get so frustrated with me because I am not a feelings girl. If you're gonna start a conversation with me with, oh, I just feel okay, cool. You can feel all the things. My frustration is we all have feelings. What are you gonna choose to do with what you're feeling? Because you actually get a say in it. So many of us had a lot of things happen to us that we had no say in. What people said about you, what your parents did to you, said to you, how they treated you, what that teacher said about me, what they might have said to you. We don't get a choice in what happens to us. So we, of course, we're allowed to have feelings. God created you to have feelings, but what are you gonna do now with all the things that have happened to you? I'm that person right away. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. I'm so sorry that happened to you. What are you gonna do about it? And some of my friends are like, well, I'm not gonna talk to you again. But feelings are so real, but now we get the choice to actually do something with it. And I'm so excited to go on this journey and really discover, you know, how to own the space that we're in. I was even thinking through and praying through one day. My brain's gonna be super random. I hope you're here for it. But the fact that so many of us, I think, live our life almost like we're renting the space, right? Like, oh well, we're apologizing for things. We're we're not actually fully enjoying the things, we're not doing things that we want to do. We're just kind of surviving

What healing really requires

SPEAKER_00 15:40

through life and kind of like drifting through. We have an incredible opportunity to be on staff at a church, and we get to love so many people and hear so many incredible stories and watch people who have walked through things that are so heavy. And what I love getting to pull out of people and speak over people is the fact that you know what? Why don't you make something better than what happened to you? I know a lot of people, I'm hopeful to be able to share my mom's story on here one day of what she walked through and what she has done with it, which is absolutely amazing. She's one of my heroes, she's incredible. But hearing stories of people that so many awful things happened to them, but they didn't stop there. They owned it and they came out stronger. They get to inspire all the people around them, like me, um, and get to really see the fruit of what happens when you own the fight that you're in, when you own the space that you're in, when you own the life that you've been given, when you actually wake up every single day and say, I'm gonna do something with my day today. I'm gonna make someone else's day better. I'm gonna understand who I am and have something to contribute to the world around me. And I guarantee you, if you make the decision to own your fight today, your parenting will be stronger and healthier. You'll be healthier in the relationship you have with your spouse, you'll be a better friend, you'll be able to serve people around you better, you'll be a better employee if you actually own the strengths that you were given and own all the things that happened to you and stop living like a renter in the life you've been given. This isn't a temporary space for you. Every single day is yours to own. So do something with it. So every single week we're gonna be talking about something new. We're gonna be talking about another space that you can own. We're gonna have a lot of fun. Um, we're gonna have a lot of probably serious conversations together.

Final reflection & what's next

SPEAKER_00 17:30

But the whole concept that I'm so glad that you are joining and starting this journey of is owning the fight that you are in, owning your reactions to things. How do you respond when people compliment you? Because can I tell you you're amazing? That God has a plan for you, that you're not an accident, that you're incredible, you're strong. And even hearing that, do you have some reaction to that? Is it easy for you to hear that? Is it kind of make you uncomfortable? Owning our reactions to things. We're gonna talk about that too. What is your knee-jerk reaction to things? But I do want to say, you are here for a purpose. You are absolutely amazing. You are gonna come out on top. You're gonna own this fight, and I promise you, lean in and watch the victories that will come. Watch the way that the world around you is gonna be affected. Watch the fact that you're gonna enjoy every single day way more. Own the space that you're in and watch the victory that will come on the other side. So I'm excited to be on this journey with you. I hope you stick around and I can't wait for the weeks to come.